(1) Dark Hunters
by Dgray3994
Summary: On a dark desert highway...Wait! Sorry, Hotel California was playing. Actually, this kind of does start on a highway, or just off one. London, Ohio was supposed to be my overnight stop on my way to Danni's house, a SPN Sister that I was finally getting to meet, but instead my life takes a turn, in a Winchester kind of way.
1. Chapter 1

Dark Hunters

Chapter 1

None of this was supposed to happen this way. Well, I mean, some of it was supposed to happen, like the trip itself, but everything else. Yeah, that wasn't supposed to happen AT ALL.

Okay, let me start this over from the beginning, simple enough, right? I just introduce myself and the reason for this adventure, or maybe I should put misadventure, because yeah, not supposed to happen.

My name is Alison Porter, I'm a mother of three beautiful teenagers and THIS is supposed to be my vacation. The first time in years that I've been able to make some sort of trip without them, not that I would ever not want to take them places, but this was going to be one for the record books. The first time I was meeting a friend, Danni Danvers, in person, the first trip to Oklahoma, and the very first 22 hour road trip that I was taking alone.

See, right there you're probably thinking that I just pulled the dumbest stunt in the world because what woman with three teenagers take that long of a road trip alone. One that is usually well prepared for everything, including what might happen next. I always had a contingency plan, some way to get around any little potholes in the road, but this…this was totally unexpected. So, now you know about me, all five foot nothing, 120 pounds of me, at least for the most part, but the rest of knowing me will come later.

Onto the real story.

8:43 pm, somewhere in the vicinity of West Jefferson, Ohio, about 733 miles away from my destination, and twelve hours into the trip. I had stopped for the night, gotten a hotel room at the local Holiday Inn Express, and made my way over to the Waffle House restaurant for something to eat, not exactly the place that I thought this "Vacation" would start to go wonky but things have happened in stranger places.

I sat down in a booth, made myself comfortable and ordered a coffee, while I grabbed my phone and decided that I was going to give everyone an update. Mom, Danni (my Oklahoma Sister who I was on my way to meet), my kids and Kathy (my Massachusetts sister who happened to have my kids). With everyone up-to-date and a nice cup of Joe in front of me, I chanced a look around. At this time of night there wasn't many people with kids, in fact there weren't any children in the building what-so-ever, not odd but definitely something that caught my attention. Stored that information for later as I continued to look around.

There were several men at the bar, truckers from what I could gather, since there were just as many there as there were rigs outside. There were a few couples, probably two of them, mainly just chatting away happily and then there were the two guys in the back of the place. One dressed in a dark suit, with wispy, unruly hair brown hair sat with his back to me, his laptop open on the table, and that was all that I could see from where I sat in my own little corner booth.

Other man at the table was facing me head on and while he looked at bit beaten down, there was definitely fire in his green eyes with his scruffy look about him. He needed a good shave, some sleep and to lay off the sauce, which was probably why he was pounding down the coffees.

I couldn't help but feel some familiarity towards him as I watched. His hair, dirty blond to brown, whichever way the light decided to reflect off from it, was shaved not too close to his head, but the top seemed to stick out and up, giving him a wild look about him.

His clothes were normal, a dark tee-shirt under an open solid flannel, something else that struck me as familiar, but he had a black bracelet around his wrist, one that caught my eyes as well. I was curious about this one. He had a youthfulness to his face that seemed to throw me off his age, but as he let out a deep breath, turned to look out the window and raised his cup up to his lips, I could see the bruises along his jawline. This one had been in a fight, and pretty recently.

He turned to look back at the one across from him, but caught my eyes as he shut whatever he was about to say behind closed lips. His eyes connected with mine, stared for a moment, as the corner of his lip turned up and instantly I could feel the blush rise in my cheeks. I cleared my throat and looked up at the waitress who had arrived just in time to save my ass.

With a glance back at the man down the row, I ordered a stack of pancakes and some bacon, all the while watching as he never seemed to let go of the hold he had on me. It was a weird, creepy feeling but I know something was up. Dammit, hello woman alone on a trip, this was not the attention I needed.

I turned in my seat, placing my back towards the windows, rolled my jacket up as padding, and pulled my legs up on the cushion and tried my damnedest to concentrate on the small tablet I had brought in with me. I picked at the food that was set down on the table, relished the cup of coffee that the waitress kept hot and filled but nothing seemed to distract me from the man who was staring me down.

The one with his back to me finally turned, trying to figure out what his partner was so distracted with and I found myself staring at this one too. His face was unique, definitely held qualities that I recognized from somewhere, and his ever changing eyes matched the vibrant mix of emotions that could be clearly seen on his face, emotions that told me one specific thing. I had just butted into a shit-storm waiting to happen.

Trying my best to keep myself occupied as I finished up what I was eating, and also hatch a plan that would give me the best way to get back to the hotel without being seen, I searched through my browser to find the fastest route, and it kept me from looking up and catching the eyes that I could feel on me.

I watched as they stood, both at the same time, the one in the suit grabbed the laptop, the one with the green eyes dropped a couple bills on the table and I realized just how tall both of them were. Six foot plus on both of them, but it was weird to see the one who had his back to me. He looked down as he collected his coat, his eyes glancing sideways in my direction, and I watched an apologetic smile cross his lips, which was weird because I was the one caught staring.

His partner seemed to have no inhibition about locking eye contact and as they headed out the door, the green eyed one gave me a very well placed grin that told me if he had his way I would be going home with him. I narrowed my eyes, and watched that grin turn into a wide smile, as if he had met his match and slowly he stepped out the door.

I turned in the seat, looked down at the rest of my dinner/breakfast and sighed, but that was when I heard it, the familiar sound of a car starting up. The rumble was low, but the tone was just this side of "what the hell" because I should have been able to recognize it anywhere. I slid closer to the window, just enough so that I could see the headlights of the 1967 black Impala light up the front of the diner.

My eyes wide as the green-eyed one backed her out of the parking spot and turned it in my direction. I sat back in the seat but still watched as the car turned and his partner stared up at me through the window as they passed by.

NO…WAY…IN…HELL was I actually seeing what I thought I was! There was no way! Not two men, not both over six foot, not both looking exactly like I would have imagined them in real life, and certainly not driving a damned IMPALA! Did I just step into the Twilight Zone, because I was pretty sure it was either that or someone seriously roofied my coffee.

I pulled out the phone, pulling the same stunt that the green-eyed one did by putting the bills down on the table as I slipped on my jacket. With a quick pace, I grabbed my tablet, felt for the hotel keys in my pocket and hustled my ass back to the room, which was less than a two minute walk to the hotel. The phone rang against my ear as I held it with my shoulder and messed with the key, but that was when I saw it and I stopped. Key in one hand, phone suddenly propped up in the other.

That freaking IMPALA was parked three spaces down from me. The door opened to a room not all that far way and I watched as the taller of the two, the one who had been in the suit stepped out, now in a tight fitting tee and jeans. He stopped under the light and counted the bills in his hands, his hair came down and masked his eyes, even as I made out the profile of his face.

I was dumbstruck! I mean I was literally standing there with my mouth open, keys in one hand and the forgotten phone call in the other, until of course, Danni yelled in my ear, which caused me to drop the keys, squeak in surprise and catch HIS attention.

He turned towards me and I tucked my head down, trying to fumble with the key again, but I noticed the broad shape of his chest, the strength of his arms and the way he filled out that shirt and those blue jeans nicely. He titled his head just a little as I finally was able to open the door and I watched his brow crease but a smile play on his lips, as I gave him a quick grin back and disappeared into the darkness of my room, closing the door tightly behind me.

"Are you okay?" Danni asked for maybe the twentieth time. I leaned my back against the door but peaked out the curtain as the man stood by the soda machine, one arm out bracing himself as he looked over his choices.

"Um, I don't think so!" I wanted to laugh because this was INSANE and not even just a little.

"What? What's going on? Are you okay, are you safe?" Danni rattled of as I watched the man slip the bills into the machine. How the hell was that so damn sexy? And why the hell was I caring. I moved away from the wall, setting the keys down on the table as I went and made sure that my room was set, the large knife was tucked under my bed and the pocket knife I cared was on the night stand.

"I'm fine, but I'm stuck in an episode of…of…I don't even know what the hell of!" I snapped and moved quietly back towards the window as I heard the door close. "Dan, I swear to God, I just saw Sam and Dean."

"Okay, what the hell are you smoking?" She laughed, because who wouldn't when your friend tells you that you've just spotted the characters in your favorite show, not the actors that portray them, but the CHARACTERS!

I ran my hand through my hair, switched on the light by the table and sat down. There was no real way to explain it, no true way to actually get the words out of my mouth, so I just sighed. Maybe it had been just a coincidence, maybe I had really just imagined that the men in the room looked like Sam and Dean Winchester, but that car, I knew that car anywhere.

"You need to go to sleep, you've been on the road all day, just go to bed and I'll see you tomorrow." Danni sighed.

"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea." I whispered back and let my eyes close as I slouched down in the chair. I really did need to get some sleep, another ten hours on the road for tomorrow and I was already dead tired. "I'm gonna grab a shower and then I'll head to bed."

"Make sure you do that." She sighed and I smiled as she disconnected the call.

With one last look out the window, and no one out there but that car, I made my way over to the bag, grabbed my night stuff and headed towards the bathroom. That was when I heard it, the slight knock at the door. I paused, listened to it come again, and cleared my throat.

"Just a minute," I answered.

STUPID! STUPID IDEA!

Tucked up under the mattress was a small spectrum blade about seven inches long and with it placed up tight in my hand, hiding against my back, I braced my foot against the door, peaked out he hole and did a double take. The taller one was standing outside looking antsy as hell, but he reached out and knocked again.

I unbolted the door and opened it slowly, but the lock caught and gave me only about two inches to see him, even with the knife in a ready position.

"Hey," he said with a soft voice and a sly smile, "I'm sorry to bother you, but my brother and I saw you at the diner."

"Yeah, I remember." I replied, curious as to what he was getting at.

"You know you have a headlight out, right?" He smiled and I watched his whole body ease, which in turn made me relax just a bit.

"Oh," I sighed and ran a hand nervously through my hair, pushing it back from my eyes. "Um, thanks, I guess I'll have to take care of it in the morning." I nodded and watched as he smiled shyly again, nodded and waved as he left my door. Quickly, I closed and locked it behind me, flipping the handle of the knife in my hand as I tucked it back between the mattress and headed for the bathroom. "Headlight, yeah, okay!"

It couldn't have been more than three hours later, somewhere just past one that the loud sound of a door slamming woke me from a broken sleep. I adjusted to the strange position on the bed, and looked around my dark room, the only light coming from the light outside the door.

I blinked a few times, trying to figure out just what was going on and that was when I heard it again, the loud thump of a door, or something against the walls. But the slam against my own was what really had me on my feet, with the spectrum blade pulled from the confines of the mattress. I was at the window before I knew what I was doing.

I could almost see out into the darkness as the light above my door suddenly began to flicker and something flew through the glass panel window. I ducked, covered what I could of my bare arms, yeah, so glad I decided to wear the pants to bed instead of getting "house" comfortable but I could still feel the shards hit my skin.

What the hell was that?

I could hear the grunting of a person, a real person, and I looked over to see the taller of the two from down the hall lying on the floor in my room. In his hand was a large knife, but it was the blood that seeped through his shirt that had me scurrying over. He looked up at me in pain, but pressed his hand to his side and rolled over.

"You shouldn't move." I snapped and watched his eyes stare at me, but that was when I noticed he was staring PAST me. He grabbed me by the shirt, his large hands nearly ripping me down and he rolled over me as he swung the blade.

I stared up at him as he got to his knees, his blade buried deep into the stomach of the man... creature… whatever the hell it was that was bearing its huge fangs at my "hero". But I could see his strength was giving out and not quite sure what I was thinking, I jumped to my feet and swung.

My knife cut deep but not deep enough as the creature lashed out, scratching across my arm and then I watched the smile disappear from its face as the blade from behind came sailing through, detaching its head from its shoulders.

I looked down at the man before me, watched him slip his knife back out of the monster's abdomen and then my eyes moved up to the green-eyed one who stood breathlessly holding another bloody machete as they body dropped to the floor.

I reached down, dropping the knife, and placed both hands on the man in front of me as he went to brace himself up with one arm, and the other pressed against the wound.

"Sammy?" My eyes snapped up at the man who was standing. NO FREAKING WAY! That was it, instinct kicked in and I went on autopilot, knelling down before him.

"Sam?" I questioned, getting his blue-green eyes to focus on me. "You need to lay back, okay? Let me check this out." He leaned back on his heels but moved to shuffle over to brace against the bed. "No, hon, you have to lie down."

He groaned at me, reached out and snatched my wrist, looking over the red scratches that marred my skin.

"You're bleeding," he whispered and his voice sang in my ears.

"Yeah," I said and smiled, pushing his hair back as I gave his shoulder a nudge, watching him make his way down to the spot on the carpet that wasn't cover in glass, "how about that?"

"You swung," he said, full of surprise.

"Reaction, that's all. Now lay still." I lifted his shirt and watched the blood seep from the wound, not deep but definitely in need of stitches. "Okay, hot stuff, just wait here."

I stood, and turned to the other man in the room, giving a stare as if to ask if I really needed to tell him what to do before I walked towards the bathroom. I shook my head when I heard "Sam" call the green-eyed one "Dean". There was no way in hell that this was happening.

I grabbed the towels, both the hand and the scrawny bath one and walked out towards them. Dean watched me, as I placed the smaller of the two, folded in half, against Sam's wound, then took Dean's hand and pressed it down on top, all the while neither of them took their eyes off me. Finding the pocket knife on my night stand, I made strips from the long flimsy material that resembled a towel before I spotted my blade.

How was I going to explain this one?

Still on autopilot, I made my way to Sam and with little effort on my part, small hands and a good grip, I was able to tie the strips around him to keep the pressure on before I looked up at Dean.

"You need to get him to a hospital, he's gonna need stitches."

But Dean shook his head. "Can't do that." His voice was gruff and deep compared to Sam's and I shook my head. I should have known that would be the answer. "And we can't leave you."

"Dean, right?" I asked and watched for that little bit of acknowledgement. "I have to be in Joplin in about sixteen hours, so I'm not staying here."

"No," he said, taking my arm as I stood. He came with me, to tower over me by a little more than a foot. "I don't think you understand. Your blood is all over this place. They know your scent now."

"Vampires?" I snapped and watched him look at me in total confusion before looking at the equal shock on Sam's face as the other man made it up onto the bed. "Yeah, I know how they work."

"Wait? What do you mean you know?" Dean growled, not an unusual sound as I made my way over, picked up my knife and wiped it with what was left of the towel. "How come you're not freaking out? You're not a hunter, what exactly do you know about vampires?"

"Oh, I'm freaking out all right but Sam getting medical attention is more of an issue for me right now." I replied, grabbed my bag and pulled out a tee-shirt from it, a black one to hide the blood. Not a care in the world, I turned my back to him, stripped off the blood-soaked tee and pulled on the new one. When I turned back the shock on Dean's face was priceless. "As for the vampires, long story, but I have to go."

"You can't." Dean said and watched as I packed everything in the room. Yeah, freak out was about to happen if I had to stay in the room with the decapitated corpse any longer. Once everything was thrown in the bag, I grabbed my keys but Dean took my arm, the one that was still bleeding but numb. "I'm sorry, but I can't let you go."

"Get him to a hospital!" I snapped, snatching my arm away as I looked at the fear growing in Sam's eyes. "And don't tell me you can't."

"Listen, lady." Dean sighed.

"Vampires, scent, I get it but this is your deal, not mine." Why the hell was I arguing with him? I looked over at Sam one last time, trying to get over the fact that he looked so much like the one I knew but so much harder at the same time. "I'm sorry."

I left the room, Dean hot on my heels as Sam made his way to the door. Once at the little rented compact, I threw my back in the backseat and looked at the amount of destruction along the row of rooms. Yep, typical Sam and Dean, but it was the hand on my shoulder that made me look up again and into those intense green eyes.

"We'll follow you," He argued and I watched Sam make it to the Impala before landing hard in the seat. "You don't realize the danger you're in."

"OH, I'm sure I get it, loud and clear." But the thought of them following me, of Sam bleeding out because of the shared illusion that I needed to be saved had me shaking my head. "Fine, get me some place safe, warm and close by so I can take care of him."

"You said he needed stitches." Dean repeated.

"Yeah, ask me how I know that." I rolled my eyes and got in the car. I could almost feel the breakdown coming as Dean finally got the point, gathered everything he could from both rooms and pulled out towards the road with the Impala.

"Danni," I thought out loud, "you're never going to believe this."

With a sigh, and some shaking, I followed those taillights into the night, headed the same way I might have been going in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I had just enough time on the road to let myself freak out enough so that when we did stop, which apparently meant taking a sudden right off the interstate into the parking lot of a vaguely shady roadside motel to Dean, I had gathered enough of the part of me that could think clearly.

I hadn't called Danni, which was probably the stupidest thing for me to have avoided because it was nearly three in the morning. I had sent out a text that I was moving to another place and once the car make a complete stop next to the impala, I shot out the name of it to her.

Dean ran in, grabbed a set of keys, or whatever it was that he was doing as I watched Sam struggle to get out of the car. Rolling my eyes, because yes, this was exactly how I needed my vacation to start, I swung into action and helped him maneuver his way out around the door. The fact that he stood taller than Dean never seemed to faze me, until I had to look up at him, and noticed how pale he had become.

Dean opened the door and flipped on the light as Sam made his way to the bed. I ran back out to the car, grabbed the first aid kit that I had put together and stepped inside just as Dean was placing the whiskey bottle on the nightstand. I watched for a moment as he dug out a pair of pliers, some thread and a needle, also placing them on the side of the table while Sam lay back on the mattress.

"What the hell are you doing with that stuff?" I questioned as I watched Dean go for the knot in the towel.

"You're going to stitch him up, this is what I got." He replied and looked down at me.

Grumbling under my breath, I emptied my own out and grabbed the three packs of sutures that I had stuffed away. There was a small bottle of peroxide, some scissors, a pair or two of gloves and some butterfly bandages that I dumped out before looking up at him.

"Whiskey is good for sterilizing but you'll kill your skin and damage nerves if you pour that crap on a wound." I looked around, grabbed the motel pad and scribbled down a list of things before shoving it against Dean's chest. "We passed a local Walmart, said 24 hours on the sign, I need this stuff."

"Silk thread? Where the hell am I supposed to get silk thread?" Dean snapped as he stepped back and watched me move around Sam, which meant another trip into the bathroom for towels and the trash bag that lay in the ice bucket.

"The craft aisle." I replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Lady, do I look crafty to you?" As much as I found the deep voice sexy as hell, the name was getting on my nerves.

"Ali!" I retorted, running a hand through my hair, "my name is Ali and if you can't find the thread, it's not an issue, but I need the rest of it, Dean, I really do."

"Fine… Ali," he said my name with a bit of a sarcastic twist as I looked up from where I was trying to gently tuck the plastic under Sam, who was now laying close to the right side of the bed. "What the hell is a French Vanilla three-and-three?"

"A coffee, dumbass!" Sam grumbled and both of us looked up to see his eyes barely opened but a smile played on his lips. "Just get the stuff, Dean."

"You know what," Dean sassed, and pointed at his brother, "I'll play this time, you know, patsy, but next time, I get to stay with the hot chick and you can go to get the thread."

Hot Chick? Really?

And with that, Dean was out the door. Sam looked over at me as I carefully removed the pressure from the towel, my fingers brushing against his side as I worked on the knot.

"He's not usually that much of an ass, he just hates it when I get hurt." I smiled at him as I worked around the cut. The bleeding had stopped for the most part, but I knew as soon as I poured that peroxide it was going to get messy.

"Yeah, you gotta love family." I mumbled as I let out a breath and felt his fingers touching my cheek. My eyes flickered over towards his, catching him a dazed stare before I went back to my task. "I'm sure you guys have something for the pain other than whiskey, right? Because this isn't going to be pleasant."

"In my bag, there's a bottle of pills," Sam's voice was softer than Dean's, but I wasn't sure why it surprised me, even when I watched the show it was the same way. For a second, I sat back. Yeah, the show, the names, the monsters, how the hell was I going to explain any of it to them? I cleared my throat and moved for his bag, finding the bottle tucked into the inner pocket.

"How strong are these?" I questioned looking at the unlabeled container. " _What_ are these?"

"Vicodin." Sam replied as I walked over with a bottle of water I had pulled from my bag and two of the pills. He sat up a little bit, swallowed down the pain killers, and rested back on the bed. His eyes stayed locked on me as I moved around. "Hey, why don't you take care of that arm while you're waiting?"

"Quit being so bossy!" I smiled, and watched him grin the best he could, taking that little hard edge off his face. "When those meds kick in and Dean gets back, I'm going to start patching you up. You're not going to take a swing at me, are you?"

Sam's eyes drooped down, as he shook his head, and I watched the medication take hold. Wondering just how long it had been since he had last eaten, my thoughts went to what the effects of the pain meds might do to his stomach, or whether or not he would get sick.

With a deep breath in, I watched his expression slack and I knew that he had stopped fighting the drugs. At least now he would be comfortable for just a little while. Biting down on my lip, I grabbed the peroxide, and the bandages and headed for the bathroom.

It took a while for me to work up the nerve to prepare for the feeling of pour the clear liquid over my arm from the brown bottle. I had done it before and I knew the sting, but with Sam out like a light, I pondered just rinsing and wrapping it, but the scratches looked angry and infected already and if I wanted to keep my arm there was no way I could chance it.

I rinsed off as much of the blood as I could get to, even letting it sit under the water for a little as I bit back the pain and tried to use a towel to remove any of the crust and dirt that had managed to get in, since I hadn't covered it at all.

I unscrewed the cap, pulled off the white tab and rested my arm over the sink. With a deep breath in, I began to coat the hell out of the scratches, but my eyes began to blur from the pain as it bubbled around me.

"Son of a bitch!" I growled, trying to steady my feet as I felt my knees go weak.

"Hey, hey," Dean's voice seemed to penetrate my ears as my eyes fogged over with impending darkness. His arm wrapped around my waist as he took the bottle from my hand and supported my weight against his chest. "Easy there, wild child, no need to put yourself on the floor."

"Thanks, Dean," I whispered as he gave me a moment to set myself straight, but as I reached a shaking hand to the bottle, he moved it out of reach, leaning down close to my ear.

"No way," he said with a little bit of a smile in his voice. "I need you to have a clear head and steady hands when you stitch up my baby brother, so, let me do this."

"You really think I should trust you to pour that crap over my arm without letting me go?" I grumbled and felt his arm around my waist grow tighter.

"No worries, Sweetheart, I'm not going to let you fall." I turned my head and watched as his hand came over. It was as if I were seeing it through a camera, not really watching the peroxide leak out, at least not until it hit the skin and I felt myself tighten, my free hand slapped down against the solid muscle of his forearm as I wrapped my fingers around it. "Easy… easy."

I let my body relax against him, allowed my mind to trust that he wasn't going to just let me go and I would hit the floor, but the strange feeling of resting my head back against his chest made me a little more aware of the situation.

I was standing in the bathroom with Dean Freaking Winchester!

He eased me down to the toilet seat, letting me go only when he knew I had my baring and I watched as he crouched down in front of me. It was then that I noticed the scar on his cheek, not too deep, not red or raised but there, a light white mark, all the same. This was the only difference between the one I knew and the one before me, otherwise they were nearly identical.

He patted my arm dry and began to apply the bandages, helping to close up the tears in my skin and his eyes popped up towards mine.

"So, why were you at the hotel alone in the first place?" His voice was soft, not as gruff and aggravated as it had been, and I felt myself swallow. Even in this odd, crazy, mix-up situation, that voice did the same thing Sam's did, turned me inside out. I cleared my throat and watched the way his fingers moved against my arm.

"I'm on a road trip to meet up with a friend. Didn't really see the harm in driving from home to Oklahoma." I shrugged and watched him place the last bandage on. He gave me one of his grins, the one that asked the silent question of "what the hell do you think now?" but I chose to ignore it as I stood and moved by him into the room.

There on the table was the bag full of stuff and a coffee. More awake than I had been in hours, I let the coffee sit as I grabbed the stuff I needed to start working on Sam, but as I knelt beside the bed and lifted his brother's shirt, I could feel Dean's presence on the second bed behind me.

"Okay, so can you explain to me the whole vampire thing?" He asked and watched as I glanced back at him, before setting out the supplies. I let out a sigh and shook my head. "Is that a no, you're not going to tell me, or no, I wouldn't believe you anyway?"

"It's a now is not a good time." I answered and prepared the needle, first by pouring the whiskey over the tip as I held it over the cup.

I put on the gloves, grabbed one of the packages of sutures that I had brought along and set it out on the plastic bag, hoping that everything would stay sterile enough as I grabbed the Betadine swabs and cleaned around the wound. Dean watched intensely as I made my way along the line of Sam's side, moving from one precise stitch to the next without so much of as a blink, except in between packages. I didn't think I would have enough but it turned out I didn't need the thread or the extra needle at all.

Seventy-two stitches later and Sam was pretty solid. He hadn't even made a move during the time I had been working, but as I applied the ointment and the gauss to the spot, I felt him shift. He didn't move again until the tape was secure and I stood up, collecting the stuff from the bed.

Dean, who had been quiet the whole time, grabbed the whiskey bottle and moved towards the table. I knew he was watching me, I could feel it in every fiber of my being, but I didn't care because there wasn't anything he could do or say that might have changed any of the facts.

"Where'd you learn how to do all of that?" He questioned, his eyes narrowing as I made sure Sam was comfortable and all the bloody towels were stuffed into the trash bag. I stopped and met his glare before raising my eyebrow and giving him a shrug.

"EMT, and medical assistant." I replied before moving towards Sam with the scissors, this got Dean off his seat.

"What are you doing?" I smiled as he stood on the opposite side of the bed, his hands clenched in fists as if he were threatening me, but I just gestured down to the wet shirt that Sam wore.

"I'm going to cut it off from him because I don't need him to be rolled around while we try to get it over his head." I answered and watched those hands relax. "He can't sit there in a wet shirt."

He made some noises under his breath as he looked around the room and then left me to it, moving back to the whiskey bottle. The fabric was pretty easy to get through and before I knew it I was staring at the bare chest of the man in front of me. Complete with an anti-possession tattoo above Sam's heart. My fingers betrayed my thoughts as I reached down and ran the pads of them over his skin, warm from the fight that was going on inside him. I stayed too long in one spot, as I noticed the small scars along his ribs and traced them as well.

The sound of Dean clearing his throat made me snap my hand back and look up at him. "You done molesting my brother?"

"Can I ask you a really weird question?" I replied as I slipped the shirt into the bag along with the towels, before pulling the comforter from the other bed. Dean raised one eyebrow in my direction, gave a smart ass grin and nodded. "What do you know about angels?"

I watched the surprise on his face as he sat back in the chair. His lips moved to form words but I wasn't sure if he actually wanted to say what was on his mind. The hurt in his eyes told me a lot but the words that came out of his mouth told me so much more.

"Just a myth." Yeah, so not, but I'd let him go with that.

"With all the angel lore around, you think they're just myths?" I sat down on the edge of the dresser and watched his expression as he took a swig of the amber liquid and nodded. "Funny," I shrugged and looked over at Sam, "I thought only unicorns didn't exist."

This made Dean's eyes snap up at me and I titled my head a little, just to see what kind of reaction I got.

"Okay," he went completely serious, and put the bottle down. I watched as he stood and stepped closer, close enough that he was standing between my legs and I had nowhere to go but look up at him. "Who are you, really?"

"Ali," I shrugged and reached for the coffee beside me. His hand went to my wrist, the one without the bandage and I let him wrap his fingers around it, my eyes watching as he did so. "Listen, Dean, you can try to intimidate me all you want but I've seen too much crap to think that you would actually hurt me."

"Oh, really, and what kind of crap would that be?" His voice dropped an octave, as if he were really getting into it and my eyes latched onto his. I placed free hand against his chest and gave him a little push backwards. He moved, he didn't hold his ground, and when he noticed what he had done, that he had given up his advantage, he released my arm.

"See, not going to hurt me." I shrugged and listened to him sigh. With a look of anger, he let out a breath and went back to the chair, leaving me sitting alone on the counter with the coffee, already cold, tucked in my hands. "Angels aren't just myths."

"What would you know?" He questioned, staring at Sam as he picked the bottle up again.

"Faith, maybe," I sighed and also looked at Sam with a grin. "I knew an angel once," I lied, but I needed to know how far this would go, how far the real Sam and Dean had gotten.

"You knew an angel?" He grinned in disbelief.

"Yeah," I looked at him, stared him straight in the eyes as I pulled the biggest lie out of my ass, "his name was Castiel." And BOOM! There is was. Dean's face went pale for a second and his eyes fell towards the floor, there was pain in his expression and I shook my head. "He called himself the Angel of Thursday," I let out a breath that was a half-laugh, "didn't understand a damn thing about pop culture references and thought that everything he did turned out wrong."

"Maybe it did." Dean growled and stood from the table.

"So, why didn't you let him heal that scar on your face?" I questioned, and it didn't mean to come out but there it was. Dean came at me once again, blocking me in. So, even Cas was real in this little trip down "Supernatural" scary lane.

"He wasn't around when I got it." Dean snarled through clenched teeth, and he backed off once more.

"What happened to him?" I whispered, my eyes on my coffee as I heard him take a seat again, this time bringing his feet up to the table with a thump.

"Things," was all he answered and I chanced a peak at him. Dean brought the bottle to his lips and his eyes stared blankly out the window. I sighed, hopped down from the dresser and grabbed my car keys. On my way by, I placed my hand on Dean's shoulder and lowered my lips close to his ear.

"I'm sorry." I spoke softly before giving him a gentle rub and headed out side. I pulled my cell from my pocket as it vibrated, just as I slipped the key into the door of the car. I glanced around, then down at the screen as I finally was able to pull the door open and grab my bag. "Danni? It's like five in the morning, why are you awake?"

"You sound pretty awake yourself, are you alright?" The worried voice on the line snapped back.

I looked around the darkness and debated on what to tell her. "Honestly, I don't know."

"What's wrong? Never mind, where are you? I'm coming out to meet you." I smiled at the woman even though she couldn't see me. Ever the older sister, I could hear her almost swearing under her breath for letting me do this on my own.

"Danni, wait, calm down," I put the bag on the hood of the car and turned my back to lean against it, pulling the flannel I managed to yank out of my bag on to have some protection against the brisk morning air. "So, this is going to sound all sorts of really weird, but there was an incident at the last hotel."

"An incident? What the hell kind of incident?"

"The…" I swallowed because this was seriously going to sound really screwed up, "the Sam and Dean Winchester kind."

"What?" There was a long pause between her breaths and then I heard her sigh. "Like bar guy turns into a werewolf kind of Sam and Dean?"

"Try Sam comes flying through my window with a vamp after him kind of Sam and Dean." I answered and squeezed my eyes tightly waiting for the lash-out. The problem with this whole conversation wasn't that the content of the show was being discussed as if it were real life, the problem was that it WAS real life and how the hell was I going to explain that to her.

"Excuse me, what?"

I rubbed my forehead and crossed my arm over my chest. "Are you sitting down, because this is going to be one hell of a story?"

"Oh, I'm thinking I'm going to need something more than to just sit for this." Danni sighed and I could heard the cabinets opening. "Nothing says good morning like Baileys and Winchesters."

"Seriously? It's five in the morning!" I smiled and listened to her hum as she spiked her coffee.

"Okay," she said after a moment of needed silence. "Lay it on me."

She listened with quiet intent as I spilled everything that had happened since 8:43 pm, everything down to the last sentence I had uttered to Dean as I left the building. When it was done, I was sitting on the ground near the tire of the car, my whole body shook as I relived every moment from the time I stepped into the Waffle House to the moment my mouth closed.

This was my freak out, this was my moment of weakness and I found myself sniffling back the tears. What the hell had I just done? I had almost cut the head of a vampire, went on the run with two men I didn't know but knew intimately and done a patchwork job on someone that could very well be the real Sam Winchester.

Danni took a deep breath in and slowly let it out over the speaker as I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand. Yeah, freak out complete, at least for now and I let my head drop back to the red panel on the car.

"Holy shit!" She said softly, as if she were still taking it in, and I was pretty sure she had refilled that coffee cup at least a few times during the time it took me to get it all out. The door opened to the room and I watched as Dean stood there, his arms crossed as he leaned against the frame staring at me. "So what now?"

"What now is we move on with the plan, just a little bit later," I sighed and pulled my knees up to rest my arms on them. "I need to check on Sam, I need to get a few hours sleep and then we meet in Joplin, just like we talked about." Dean stepped closer, grabbing my bag from the hood of the car and I turned towards him once more, watching as he nodded, gesturing for me to come in, as he reached out a hand. "I'll be safe, Danni, I swear."

"Yeah, you make sure you are, and if you don't, you can tell those boys that there's no way in hell they're getting away that easy." She had just a touch of anger in her smiling voice and Dean's expression grew hard, but it softened as I slipped my hand into his and he pulled me up from the ground. I turned the phone off speaker and put it to my ear. "Love you sis."

"Love you too." I smiled, letting myself be pulled along by the man in front of me. I was too tired to fight, too tired to care exactly where I might be sleeping but I knew one thing, Sam was way too out of it to try anything and Dean, well, I think we had established an understanding. "Talk to you soon."

"Talk soon." She answered. The line went dead just as Dean dropped my hand and I closed the door behind me.

He didn't say anything, just sat on the edge of the second bed and removed his boots as I stopped beside his brother and lifted the blankets. Sam hadn't moved much, at least he hadn't twisted around but one arm was across his stomach and the other one was now above his head. His lips were slightly parted, and his breathing relatively even which told me he wasn't in pain, or if he was, he was sleeping right through it.

The bandage was solid, no blood seeped through and slowly I lowered it, letting my fingers drift over Sam's bare lower arm before I turned and looked at Dean. The man was sitting with his back to me on the furthest side of the double bed, but the way he looked at me over his shoulder was definitely an expression of uncertainty.

"I'll sleep above the blanket," he mumbled as I sat down and removed my shoes, before sliding into the cool sheets, but when I looked in his direction once again, the most I could do was shrug.

"I just need a few hours," I whispered and let my eyes drift shut, still facing him. "I want to check on Sam when he wakes up, so tell him not to move."

"Yeah, try telling Sammy that." Dean laughed, and this time it was a real laugh, one that made me shiver because it was also so close to the character that I knew. I felt the bed shift as he got comfortable, and without really looking, I knew that he was laying on his side facing me, facing his brother because that was just what Dean did, he slept with one eye open, always the protector. "You did good, Kid."

I forced my lids to open once more, catching his green eyes as he went over the features of my face. "Goodnight, Dean Winchester."

I heard him take a quick breath in, and I knew I had just screwed up, but there was no coming back from the sleep that I was drifting into, my body wouldn't allow it, but just before the darkness took over, I felt his fingers along the goose bumps that rose on my arm, tracing down until he took my hand in his and gently held my fingers.

The darkness that came with sleep was a welcome thing. I didn't want to dream about the creature in the room or the amount of blood that coated all the things that I had touched in that small time frame. I didn't want to see the look of pain on Sam's face, or the sadness and worry in Dean's eyes. And I didn't, I didn't see any of it.

But what I did see was worse.

The dreams were more memories than anything, ones of being chased, of the blood that flowed from the nightmares. It was like reliving my childhood all over, plagued by the barbaric dreams that I couldn't control back then. I had finally figured it out, how to get rid of the blood and gore but the images of Sam, the vampire in the room had made it all come back full force and I heard myself screaming in my head, trying beyond anything to wake up, and when it happened, it was as if I were falling and the ground was coming up at me.

I opened my eyes and sat up on the bed moments before I hit the ground.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I felt Dean's hand slip away from my stomach as I looked around the room, running both hands down my face. As I caught my breath, I looked over at Sam, who had finally switched positions on the bed and I noticed that his bare back was to me.

It must have been the sleep, or the dream and the need to clutch onto something real because for that one moment, I wanted to run my fingers over every muscle that moved along his shoulder blades, trace every scar that graced his ribs, but all I did was sigh, and swing my legs off the bed.

After a quick trip to the bathroom, I made my way over to the door, checked to find that the closest coffee shop was actually right across the street and I slipped on my shoes. I knew it might be a bit big on me, but I snatched up Sam's jacket, the one that Dean had brought in with the rest of the stuff from the Impala the night before, and slipped it on.

I took in a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the canvas, his deodorant, and the cologne that stuck to the fabric, but as I crossed the parking lot, I thought about what the hell I was doing. I should get in my car and drive as fast as I could away from them. I should have run the night before. I should not, absolutely not be wearing Sam's jacket and thinking about how safe I felt sleeping next to Dean, and I definitely should not be ordering coffee for them.

But on the way back to the room, I also thought of the reasons I should stay. I needed to make sure Sam was okay, that his cut was sealed and he would be fine. I needed to see those eyes of his opened and alive and as much as I didn't need his attitude, I really needed to explain everything I could to Dean though I had no idea why. So my choices were pretty limited to one, staying with them until we reached Joplin, or two, running away and having them chase me down until they found me in Joplin, either way, the Winchesters were now in my life, which according to Dean, was in some kind of danger.

Speaking of Dean, he was sitting up at the table, lacing his boots when I walked in with the coffee. I set the tray with the three cups and a bag of half a dozen muffins down on the table as I slipped off Sam's coat and put it across the back of the chair. Dean's green eyes were burrowing into me as I tried my hardest to ignore him, grabbing my own drink and a chocolate chip muffin as I moved to sit across from the end of Sam's bed on the dresser once again.

"You know," I said softly as I looked up from the muffin, finally making eye contact, "the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid." It was a classic Dean Winchester line at least how I knew it but when I came out with it to this one, his eyes turned hard and I could almost tell that the line got under his skin, which caused him to finally look away. "I need to leave soon."

"You…" he started, his gaze snapping back up at me.

"You say I can't and I swear I will kick you!" I stated with anger in my voice, and I watched his jaw set. "I need to leave soon, but I'm not going to until I know Sam is safe."

"You're not safe, why don't you get that?" Dean snapped.

"From one vampire?" I questioned and stopped to think about just how odd it sounded coming from my lips. "Dean, exactly what do you think is going to happen?"

"That ONE vampire… it had a nest, we were tracking it." He growled as he stood and paced close to me, not as close as he had gotten only hours before, which was dangerous because now I had hot coffee, but just this side of near enough for me to feel the anger coming from him. His eyes were once again set on me. "And that nest will come looking for its missing member, do you know what they're going to find?"

"You mean besides the headless corpse you left in my…MY…hotel room?" I put the cup down and watched as he shook his head and stepped up to me, no fear of being splashed with coffee anymore. He grabbed my wrist gently, the one covered in bandages and he almost held it up so I could see my own wounds.

"They're going to find your blood, yours and Sammy's, and they're going to hunt you down until either you're dead or I kill them all." He replied and dropped his hold. I sighed, watching as he moved back to the table to grab the coffee. "I can't let anything happen to you."

"I can take care of myself, Dean."

"No," he whispered, taking the keys to the Impala off the table as he suddenly stood, coffee in the other hand. I watched as his eyes went from my head to my toes and back up before he reached the door. "You can't."

And with that the door closed behind him. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. He was right, I had no idea what I was up against, sure I knew the lore both show and real but there was no way I was strong enough to slice through something's neck.

The movement of the sheets made me open my eyes and I picked my head up to look at Sam, who was sitting up, resting on his elbows, his eyes full of sleep as he stared at me. The blanket had fallen away and I was once again staring at his chest.

"What just happened?" His voice cracked as he asked and I smiled as I hopped down and grabbed the bottle of water from the table, the same bottle he had used to down the pills earlier that night. I made my way to the second bed and handed him the bottle as I sat down.

"Your brother is just being protective." I answered and reached for the bunched up blanket while Sam downed the water. I felt his muscles tighten beneath my fingers as I moved the blanket aside to check on the bandage, and I shot him an apologetic glance.

"My brother usually isn't that protective of strangers to just get upset and walk out of the room." Sam smiled as I knelt beside the bed, grabbed the edge of the paper tape and pulled it across his skin, just enough so I could lift the bandage. "You must be special."

This made me laugh as I grabbed the left over roll of tape from the night stand and rolled my eyes in his direction while I taped down that one side again.

"Yeah, a special pain in the ass!" I answered and placed both hands on the bed to push myself up but I felt Sam touch my arm. This made me pause as I decided to sit on the bed next to him instead of moving away. "He said you were hunting a nest of vampires, why would one come after you?"

"Guess we tripped their early warning system." He said sarcastically, pulling himself back to use the headboard as something to rest on, and that hand that touched mine, gave my fingers a slight tug, which I responded to by following him up the bed until we were less than a foot apart. "I'm sorry I got you into this."

"Oh, so this is your fault?" I mocked and watched as he gave me a smile, one that only made the edge of one side of his lips turn up and his eyes focused down on my hand, the one he was still playing with. "Hmm, I wish I could blame you for this one, Sam, but I'm pretty sure I drove my own car to that hotel."

"I meant the vampire, I was trying to lure it away but it put me right through your window." He shook his head, and I could see the guilt that was eating him written all over his face. I moved my fingers from under his and touched his cheek, which brought those blue-green eyes to mine.

"Good thing too," I whispered, "if it wasn't my window, it could have been an empty room, and you could still be bleeding." He seemed to get the point that I wasn't going to let him kick himself in the ass for anything and he nodded as I moved off the bed. "So coffee and muffin, or is your stomach not ready for that yet?"

"It sounds great," he replied and watched me with interest as I brought the coffee and the bag over to the side table.

"Dean didn't say where he was stomping off too, but I'm going to take a quick shower if you're okay." I waited for him to answer me, which seemed to take forever since he was too busy sizing me up. "You know, Sam, there is one thing that I get from you and your brother. You don't trust easy, you're always looking for the weak spot, but you don't have to worry about that with me. I just want to make sure you're okay and then I really need to go."

"What's so important that you need to rush out?" I turned from the bathroom door to look at him with a smile before picking my bag up from the spot next to it.

"Family," I answered, glanced out the window at Dean, who was slowly approaching the room, taking the last drag of his cigarette before he flicked the butt away from him, and winked at Sam before closing the door.

So I was definitely not dealing with the same Sam and Dean I knew, we established that already, but to see the cigarette in the older brother's hands, to see him take that last puff, was just a little too hot for my tastes. And Sam, all half-naked and hurt, was definitely a sight that I could get used to, but I knew it wouldn't last.

As much as I would love to sit back and let them both take care of me against a nest of vampires, something else in me was telling me to run. I had slipped up, I had come out with his last name and he had yet to do anything about it, and that above everything, monster or not, scared the hell out of me.

This Dean was darker, stronger, and definitely less likely to give a rat's ass what kind of explanation I had for not only knowing about Cas but knowing just who he was. And why would he think I was a threat of any kind, he had trusted me enough to let me near his baby brother?

I knew the drill, I knew that Sam always came first in his mind and the fact that I had stitched him up, that Dean had taken what little trust there was and given it to me, only for me to take it away, well, that wouldn't sit well with the older Winchester. Not at all.

I paused one moment more, letting the feeling of the water pour over me and wash away everything that had happened, but like I said, just for a moment more before I turned it off and got dressed, needing to face the music.

Sam was at the table, fully clothed when I stepped out, my wet hair still stuck to my face, and Dean was lounging on the bed, his eyes sleepy with the need to rest, but he sat forward, more attentive as I made my way over to the table and placed my bag on the floor.

"Relax, Dean, I'm not going to hurt him." I mumbled as I searched around the room, trying to find the small pocketknife I had only hours before. I had just crouched down to look under the bed when his hand was yet again grabbing at me. I sat up quickly, turned and sat down on the bed that Sam had been resting on. Dean slid over to mimic my position and the two of us leaned in towards each other. "Let's discuss personal space."

"Let's discuss how you know our last name." I knew that was coming and I sat back.

"Remember the angel I told you about?" I asked, completely lying out of my ass. Sam sat up straight, I could hear his clothes shift on the seat. Dean glanced back to Sam and I got the gist of their nonverbal communication. "Well, two guesses what his favorite topic of "I can't stick around because so and so needs me" were?"

"Wait, Cas told you about us?" Sam questioned, and I just shook my head, keeping my eyes pinned on Dean. "So how would you know that we were the ones he was talking about?"

"How many Sam and Dean Winchesters do you know?" I turned to glance at him and watched as he gave a little shake. "Hmm, me too, so. Sam. Dean. Hunters. Vampires…all these little pieces of a giant jigsaw puzzle that spells out Winchester."

"When did you see him last?" Dean questioned and I shook my head.

"It's been a while," I whispered and suddenly thought back to the show. When Cas was gone, how long had he been on there, what had he been doing before he disappeared, and I took a deep breath. "For me, it's been a few years."

"Yeah," Dean whispered, his angry voice seemed a little defeated and I stood up to leave but I stopped and watched as his eyes came up to match mine.

"Whatever he's done to you, in whichever way you think he's betrayed your trust, he's always believed he's done the right thing." I kept my voice low and pointed, hoping Dean would get my hint. "You're family, his family."

I stepped away from him, giving him a pat on the back as I left and went back to my search for the small knife. It took me a half hour to find the stupid thing, that apparently I had rolled up in my pants and by that time, both the men I shared a room with were packed and ready to go.

Standing outside by the cars, I stuffed my hands in my pockets and watched as Sam lowered himself into the passenger's seat of the Impala, before I looked up at Dean, who was standing beside me. Sam's gaze also rested on me as I shrugged.

"So, what now?" I questioned. "You two obviously have some sort of warped sense of duty to protect me, no matter how much I protest, so either you're following me to Joplin or this is where we part ways, though I'm not holding my breath on the second part."

"You really want to get rid of us, don't you?" This coming from Dean as I smiled and leaned back against the car.

"God, you know if you asked me that on any other given day, I would say no in a heartbeat." I smiled and shook my head. "I would keep you, the both of you and any crazy, mix-up crap that came with you, but I can't bring that to where I'm going, not to her. Granted she knows more about firearms and being badass than I could poke a stick at but," I shook my head, "I don't want to get rid of you, Dean, in fact it might be the opposite, but…"

"All right, don't hurt yourself," he seemed to get the point as he looked around before his eyes landed back on mine. "You're right, the second part isn't going to happen. Until we get rid of the nest, you and Sam are prime targets and with him like that, I need you both close, so call your friend and tell her you're not coming."

"Bullshit!" I snapped and shook my head. "You must be smoking crack if you think she's going to back off just because you said so."

"She sounds like you." Sam laughed and I looked down at him. "Listen, Al, if she's anything like you, I have no doubts that you'll both be fine, but Dean's right, I'm useless and you need to be protected."

"Ugh, not you too!" I sighed, and rubbed my cheeks as I held back the irritation. "Okay, so I'll call her, tell her to wait on meeting me and you guys have seven hours to get rid of a nest because there is no way in hell she's going to agree to it."

"Seven hours?" Dean questioned, turning to look at me, his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans and I grinned as if he were accepting a challenge. "Yeah, not going to happen."

"Then we're at a bit of an impasse."

"Fine," he gave in. "Go to Joplin, meet up with your friend, but know that we'll be right behind you."

I stared at him in shock, not even sure if I had won that battle or completely lost control of everything I had just said, but his hand reached out, caught the back of my neck and suddenly Dean Winchester, the hard ass, planted a kiss on the top of my head before walking around to the driver's side. Confusion must have been written with a sharpie all over my face because Sam was just sitting there grinning.

What the hell had just happened?

Sam reached out for the door but I stepped forward and waved his hand away. The brown-haired man stretched his legs out and found a comfortable position in the car and let me close the door, but he quickly rolled down the window before I could step back.

"Hey, Al, be careful," he whispered as I leaned down, placing my lower arm on the door as I glanced between the two of them.

"Yeah, like that's ever going to happen." I huffed, felt his hand gently run over mine, and backed away from the car. It only took me a second to get in, get the car started and roll out onto the highway but I knew that I would never lose sight of the chrome grill that followed behind me, and strangely enough, that thought alone made me smile.

We weren't three hours outside of the town when the problem started. The rental started to spit, the gas pedal failed to accelerate the car and while there was no smoke evident from the engine, I was pretty sure that someone had tampered with the thing at the last rest stop I had made it to before my bladder exploded.

The Impala, who had been right on my tailgate the whole trip, including the fact that Sam practically followed me to the bathroom, even waited outside the door for me, pulled up along the dusty side of the road, just as I got out, slammed the door and popped the hood.

I watched Dean step out, and make his way over, or more to the point I watched those bowed, jean –clad legs casually approach, but it was the squeak of the other door that caught my attention and I knew Sam would be coming up the other side.

With a huff, I looked at the engine, which had completely seized, and shook my head as the shadows loomed over me from both sides.

"Do you even know what you're looking at under there?" Dean questioned.

"Dean!" Sam snapped but he knew that I would have some sort of answer, he was just trying to protect me.

"Do you know how much of a sexist you sound like?" I turned to my right and looked up at the green-eyed one, who had a smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, I know what the hell I'm looking at. I was born at night, but not last night." I moved towards the back of the car, giving Dean a bump with my shoulder on the way by and lifted the gas cover, swiped my hand along the seal and shook my head. "Sugar, really?"

"What?" Sam questioned, holding his side as he walked over. He looked down inside himself and stood, giving Dean a roll of his eyes. My own had left the granulated particles that covered my fingers and went to the fact that he hadn't stopped pressing on the stitches. I grabbed his shirt, which had him looking down at me, and lifted it enough to see that the bandage was still secure but could use a change. "I'm fine."

"You always say that," I whispered and let the shirt drop before I turned and opened the back door.

"Wait, you can't change it now," Sam protested as he watched me pull out my kit.

"Why not? I'm dead on the side of the road, Sam, exactly what am I going to do besides wait for a tow?" I placed my hand on his stomach, away from the stitches and stepped forward just enough so that he was moving backwards. He hit the grill of the Impala with an "ummph" but let himself be held up by it. "Shirt."

With a roll of his eyes and a glance at his brother, who tinkered under the hood of my car, I smiled as I placed the kit beside him and he obeyed by lifting his shirt so I had access to the gauze. Setting out everything I needed, I slowly began to take the tape off, my fingers brushing over his skin and I felt him twitch, at one point it got a small giggle from him and I looked up to see the blush on his face.

"Sorry." I smiled and got the bandage free.

"No you're not." He grinned, which made me shrug, because he was right, I wasn't sorry at all. Not sorry for touching him, not sorry for getting those noises to come from him, and not sorry for all the dirty thoughts that ran though my head as I did it. A wet wipe was the only thing I had to clean around the area, but it did the job even though the loan groan from the cold fabric sent shivers down my spine. "Where did you learn to do this?"

"Like I told your brother, EMT, and medical assistant, plus with three kids you have to know some sort of first aid." I answered, glanced up at his ever staring eyes and took a moment to appreciate them before I went back to work.

"And the stitches?"

"Funny enough, I learned it on a pig's foot." I replied and felt him stiffen. "There were so many students in the class when we were learning how to take them out, she had to take the time to teach us how to put them in first. I was kinda hooked after that and apparently she appreciated my work, so every time a new class came in, I was the one who stitched up the fake stuff and they were the ones to take them out. So I've done a couple thousand before in less than three months."

"They're good, nice and clean, not like Dean's." The way he said his brother's name made me smile, because there was nothing but pride in the way he spoke it. I let my hand move, as I placed the last piece of tape over the edge, and slid it across to the scar on his ribs. Sam took a deep breath in as I ran my finger along it and rested my eyes on his.

"I don't know, it looks pretty good to me." Sam looked down as my fingers rested there for a moment more before I let him go and packed up the kit, rolling up the used bandage. I watched that shirt come down, pity he couldn't stay that way but I had a car to get back to before Mr. Mechanic ruined my insurance. Standing beside Dean, I found that my eyes still went to Sam, who hadn't moved from his spot on the hood of the car. "So, Doc, what's up?"

"Well, you're pretty much screwed," he stated nonchalantly and turned his head to look at me, even as he was still bent over the engine.

"Wonderful," I sighed and rolled my eyes. "So, what now?"

AND that was when it happened. We both looked down as the air hissed from the tire. I looked under the small space in the hood to see Sam stand straight, his gun pulled and Dean's expression turned sour. Wondering just what was going on, I rounded the side of the car and looked at the steel arrow that stuck out from the rubber.

"What the hell?" I snapped and felt Dean's hand around my arm, something that was becoming a normal thing between us and he practically yanked me back behind the car and into the dust that kicked up as Sam moved behind the Impala. There were several other projectiles that flew by and I watched as Dean pulled the pearl-handled gun from his belt. "Seriously, someone is shooting arrows at us?"

"They sugared your car, Ali, did you think that would be the end of it?" Dean growled and looked up through the windshield.

"NO, Dean, but I didn't really expect arrows for God's sake!" I rumbled back, my eyes locked on Sam, and he seemed to notice.

"He's not going to disappear, and he can take care of himself." He huffed and I turned eyes to his green ones.

"Jealous much?" and I heard him make some sort of grunting noise, which made me smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next few minutes felt like a lifetime with everything that happened all at once. Before we could make out where the arrows were coming from, there were bodies attacking and both the boys fired at will. I ducked and covered, and then remembered I was unarmed. Opening the door beside Dean, who took a second to give me a disapproving look, grabbed the blade from my bag and slammed the door shut just as an arrow pierced the window.

The fight that broke out was not like the coordinated moves one the show and I found myself stuck in the middle of both the boys, and their battle counterparts. Ducking down, I moved past Dean, between the two cars and snatched the keys out of the ignition of the sleek black car, Dean would just have to scold me later.

My only thought on how to help had to do with the weapons cache hidden in the floorboard of the trunk, and to get to that, I needed the keys. I'm pretty sure if I thought about it, while fumbling with each key until the right one slipped in, this whole situation would have me in total panic mode, but the thought of either men getting hurt once more had me on autopilot.

I used the sawed-off to prop the lid, the same way I had seen Dean do it a million times in the show, and searched for something specific. If these were vampires and I couldn't take off their heads, there was definitely one other way to slow them down.

There tucked in a back compartment was a quart mason jar of thick red liquid. My stomach didn't turn as easy as it used to, but looking at the container of dead man's blood, I could feel it start to flip. I closed the lid of the trunk quiet, ducked down and wrenched open the glass jar before dipping as much of the spectrum into it as possible, managing to coat the entire blade as the thickening liquid dripped down.

Sam was the first one I came up on. He was holding his own, but I could almost see the blood on his dark shirt as the stitches possibly popped and I held my breath as I snuck up behind the monster and with as much force as I could get, I plunged the blade through its back. As it stopped its movements, I listened to the grotesque sound it made, while I ripped the blade back.

"Down!" I heard Dean's voice from beside me and I tucked myself as low as I could go before his blade came whipping across the air, and the head that it connected with rolled down the hill beside me. Dean looked at me curiously as Sam reached for my arm, pulling me up beside him as he tucked me into the crook of his chest. "You done playing hero?"

"Bite me, Winchester!" I snapped and felt the fabric of Sam's shirt tightly in my gasp as I held on for dear life, since my heart was just about to pop out of my chest.

"How many was that?" Sam questioned.

"Six, maybe." Dean shrugged and looked around at the bloody mess. "We need to move." He stated and stared down at me. "Now."

Dean moved, reaching into my car to grab everything he could before tossing it in the trunk of the Impala, less than impressed that I left the keys and the Mason jar out in the open, and I heard him swearing under his breath. Sam pulled me close as he caught his breath, placing the gun in his lap as he wrapped both arms around me before kissing me on the forehead.

I released him, pushed out of his arms and stood to look at the damage around us. Sam pulled himself up and watched me with a little bit of concern as I ran my hands through my hair and left them there for a moment.

"You gonna be okay, Al?" Sam's voice broke through the silence that surrounded me and I was able to look up and focus in on him before nodding.

"Yeah, I guess I'm not as used to the carnage as I thought I was." I answered and moved toward the car. Sam watched as I stopped, glanced down at the blood on his shirt and shook my head. "How do you feel?"

"Nothing's broken, or ripped, I think it was just from the pressure." Sam smiled, but I could see the pain in his face.

"Ah-huh," I shook my head and grabbed the handle of the car. "You keep telling yourself that and when we get to Joplin, I'm going to look myself."

"I could always hop in the back with you and you could take a peek now." Sam smiled and I heard the low groan from Dean on the other side of the car.

"Why don't the two of you just get a freaking room?" He snapped as he lit up a cigarette. I guess that was the one thing that was going to take some getting used too. He glanced down at the stick in his hand before looking at me. "You got an issue with this?"

"No, just not something I expected." I answered, licked my lips and shot a glance to Sam as I opened the door and climbed in.

Yeah, I had been in the back seat of Dean's baby before, but only during photo shoots with the fan cars, this one smelled different, a little like Sam, a little like Dean and a lot like some serious trouble. I grabbed the kit once again, probably the one thing that Dean hadn't thrown in the trunk and waited for Sam to climb in the other side so I had better access to the bandage.

I looked up at Dean in the mirror, his green eyes locked on mine and I couldn't help but feel like I was being scrutinized by him. Was he jealous or protective, did he think I was a threat to him or his brother, and why the hell was he looking at me like that?

The Impala's engine rumbled beneath me and I smiled, let my eyes roll back and rested my head against the back seat. I heard Sam chuckle and opened one eye as he and Dean seemed to have matching smiles.

"You look like you're in heaven." Sam said as he leaned against the rucksack that was braced against the door his knee touching mine. Dean snorted.

"She looks like she's in the middle of sex." Yep, he was the one that had to go there.

"You're both right," which got me some questioning looks. "The back seat of a mint 67' Impala, and one that sounds like this. Sex on wheels and yes, I'm in heaven!"

Dean knew his car was sexy as hell, and just smiled proudly but as my gaze turned to Sam, I watched the tight lipped grin on his face as he looked down at where our legs touched. He was harder, rougher and had seen more real pain and death than the Sam I knew, but that smile seemed to brighten him up, make him look happy. I reached down and placed my hand on his thigh, which snapped his eyes up to mine.

"Let me take a look." I had never seen a man move so fast lifting his shirt and this time he didn't do it half-assed, he was nearly naked as I leaned over and inspected the line of blood that came through the bandage. Biting down on my lip, I peeled back the tape once more and looked over the stitches, this time following the line as I counted with my finger. Sam made some low noise deep in his throat and I paused, biting down harder to keep from smiling. Nothing was popped or ripped which was good, so switched out the gauze once more and taped him back up. "We're going to have to stop in Joplin for some supplies."

"Yeah, after we make sure you're safe." Dean reiterated and watched as I shook my head. "You look beat, why don't you catch some shut-eye. Sammy will wake you up before we hit the city limits."

"Sleep sounds great." I mumbled and watched as Sam pulled some sort of move that had him sitting on the other side of me.

Suddenly tired and on edge, I let his strong arms pull me towards him and I found the heat of that crook once again. My hand flattened against his hip as I closed my eyes, barely hearing the slight laugh from the front seat as I settled into a dreamless sleep.

I could hear the voices as I drifted in and out of the sleep that the rocking of the car had put me in. For probably a few hours there had been only silence but as the ride continued, I could hear Dean's voice lightly over the hum of the engine and Sam's as it vibrated through the fabric beneath my skin as I rested against his chest.

"I don't know, Sammy, there's something about her." Dean started and I could almost imagine him staring at me in the mirror.

"Yeah, the something is that she's not bending to your every whim," Sam laughed softly, his fingers running over my arm back and forth as he kept me locked into that light sleep. He was gentle and soft, something that I would have never expected if I hadn't known his other world, or him from the other world.

"It's not that," Dean admitted, but at least that meant he was admitting something, "she has this feeling about her."

"A feeling…you…the one who says nothing is coincidence, is going on a feeling?" Sam was the only one I could actually feel moving when he adjusted himself in the uncomfortable position I must have put him in, but when he sighed, I got the idea that he might actually agree with his brother. "So the vampire and scent thing, what? That's all a cover to keep her around while you figure out this feeling?"

"NO!" Dean snapped defensively and I wanted to smile, but I kept as relaxed as I could. "The danger is real, Sam, we saw that back there. They're tracking you, and her, and yeah maybe the whole idea of her being a mystery throws me off, but we need to keep her protected."

"Why, because she says she knows Cas?"

"She doesn't," this made me almost stiffen, but there was no distrust in his voice. "What she said to me before she walked out the door, about him. I mean, it's obvious that she knows of him but there are just little loopholes in her story that I'm not buying. Cas is family, but he never betrayed my trust, so why would she say something like that."

"Maybe she doesn't know, maybe that's just what happened between them, I don't know but you have to admit it's kind of weird to run into her and have her know so much about him." The fingers that ran over my arm, stopped for a second, and I felt his breath against my head as he leaned down and kissed it softly. "She knows so much about us."

"Yeah, so what's with you?" But Sam didn't reply. "Come on, Sammy, you never take to a girl like this, I mean look at you, when was the last time you held anyone that close?"

"You mean Jess?" Sam's voice deepened and my heart broke. So he had a Jessica here too, probably one that had passed away, but I felt his chest rise as he drew in a deep breath. "You're right, there is a feeling about her and I have a need."

"Yeah, we all got needs." Dean snickered.

"No, a need to protect her, to keep her close." But his voice had an angry tone to it, almost as if admitting it out loud hurt him. "I don't know, it's not just the vampire thing either. When we saw her in the diner…"

"When I saw her and pointed her out to you, you mean?"

"Whatever! Either way, there was something in the way she looked at us, something…strange, ya know."

"I get it." Dean sighed and cleared his throat. "Joplin limits are about five miles ahead, you wanna wake up Sleeping Beauty?"

"Sure." Sam mumbled, as if his thoughts weren't even where he expected them to be, but I felt the fingers of his free hand, not the one caressing my arm, move up and there was a light touch against my face.

I wasn't going to respond. I was just going to be happy and let that feeling take over, but it started to tickle and then it started to… and I let out a low moan as I shifted against him. Sam instantly stopped, his fingers pressed against my jaw ever so slightly.

"Hey, Al, time to wake up." His voice was almost as alluring as his touch and it sucked! I shifted against him, used the seat beside his stomach to push myself up and away from his body. I moved my head just a bit to catch his eyes with mine but I watched his flicker to my lips as I tried to lick the dryness away. He cleared his throat, swallowed hard and let his hand drop away. "We're almost there, maybe you should call your friend."

"Um," I breathed lightly, "okay."

I did my best to pull off being still half asleep but their conversation had brought me so close to consciousness that it was hard to stay that way for long. I moved over to the other side of the car, letting Sam finally move and pulled out my phone. Texting Danni was easy, since she was my first contact and my last phone call, and I let my fingers slide over the screen. She was almost at the spot, a Chili place called Fred & Red's, a small greasy spoon diner on Main Street in town.

"Fred & Red's, a Chili place on main." I mumbled and turned in my seat to look at Sam, who nodded and seemed to look a bit guilty. "Anything fun happen while I was asleep, no ghosts in the machine or anything?"

"Are you kidding, Baby's protected by Enochian, no vengeful spirits getting in my ride." Dean spoke up with pride as he patted the dashboard. I smiled at this and wait for him to realize what he said, it took a minute, but mostly it took him looking in the mirror to see the shock on Sam's face before he realized what he had said.

"I'm not going to ask, if that's what you're waiting on." I shrugged and watched as Sam snapped his gaze quickly to mine. "I know what Enochian is."

"Okay," Dean turned the mirror, aiming it so I could see the intensity of his stare, and flicked from watching the road, to watching me. "When we get to your friend and I know you and Sammy are safe, you and I are going to sit down and have a little talk about just how well you know Enochian."

"Well, I can tell you now I know it just as well as I know Latin." I crossed my arms over my chest and turned away to look out the window. I thought I felt Sam edge closer but I didn't bother to look, I just needed a few minutes to figure out HOW to tell them what I know, not what.

As it turned out, I had about a half an hour to get my shit together. The boys dropped me at the diner, blade attached to my belt, and knife tucked in my pocket, but the only thing I was wearing was the leather jacket Dean managed to grab from the trunk before he shoo-ed me into the building and told me to have a seat while they parked close by, watching.

The bell above the door jingled and for the umpteenth time, I looked up, waiting on another disappointment, but she was standing there, her long hair pulled back in a ponytail with a wide-eyed and frantic look on her face as she whipped her head back and forth up and down the aisle. I stood from my seat catching her attention and watched as she moved towards me. Danni Danvers wrapped her arms around me like a shaking older sister, one that was pissed off but relieved that I was alright and I almost braced myself for a swing but she stepped back and looked me over.

"Okay, you've got a coat, your blade, you knife, no bag, a bandage on your arm and," she paused to take a breath, "where's your freaking car?"

"Dead on the side of the highway about three hours north." I said softly and slowly sat down. Danni followed suit and stared at me. "Hey Sis." I smiled and watched as she dropped her head to the table in a gesture of either wanting to kill me or strangle me just to the point of me passing out.

"Don't 'hey Sis' me, chick, what the hell?" She replied, but the smile crept up on her lips. "So, three hours up the highway, what the hell happened?"

"Well, someone put sugar in my gas tank," I stated and watched as the waitress brought over a cup of coffee for Danni and refilled mine. I waited until she left before I went on. "While we were looking at the engine, the ones I can only guess were vamps blew a hole in my tire with an arrow, proceeded to attack and hurt Sam, and I knifed another one."

She was silent for a moment, knowing that I had only given her the cliff-notes version of it and I watched as she folded her hands on the table. "Well," she started, sucked on the back of her lip and then let out a sigh, "ain't that a bitch."

I knew she would take it with a grain of salt because it wasn't as if I didn't tell her some screwed up stuff as it was but she looked around the place and shrugged.

"So, where are they?"

"Lying in wait, so-to-speak." I replied and fixed up my cup with sugar and cream. "They can see us from here and once I give the signal, they'll pull around."

"And if you don't?" She whispered, which made me look at her, questioningly. "Give the signal, I mean?"

"Then they'll follow us back to Vinita." I answered, which made me think, really think about the two men I had been traveling with. "You know, it sounds stalkerish but once you see them, you'll know who they are, and Danni, they're not lying. They are Sam and Dean Winchester, I swear to God."

"I believe you," she pushed aside her flannel shirt and let me see the small gun tucked into her belt, "but, you know, just in case."

"How long do you want to sit here for before we get this inevitable shit-show on the road?" I smiled and watched her down half the coffee in front of her. She placed the cup down and sat back, looking at me with raised eyebrows.

"Now is just a good a time as any." She slapped her hands down on the table and rose. I couldn't help the grin that crossed my face. This was going to be one interesting hell of a night.

Placing the bills on the table, Danni and I stepped out into the night. Her 2015 Silver Escape was parked on the side of the building, a couple lines down from the bright lights of the diner, but it sat under a street lamp. Looking around, I noticed there wasn't another car for what seemed like forever, in fact the streets were pretty empty.

Danni leaned against the hood, her arms and ankles crossed as she stared me down. I stood under the light and paced, hands in the pockets of my coat and let out a breath as she shook her head. I stopped and smiled at her, pushed my hair back from my face and stared up at the sky.

"You think they finally decided they had enough of ya and ran?" Danni smiled, but that was when I heard the low rumble of the car.

"No such luck." I answered and turned to look out at the dark road. She stood straight at the sound of the rumble and watched the sleek black car roll in under the cover of night, no headlights until they were less than ten feet from us.

"Holy hell, is that really Baby?" She questioned, moving to stand next to me as I bit down on my lip, staring straight into the headlights of the car.

"Yep," I nodded and listened to the engine cut, the lights still illuminated the spot we stood and we both watched as the doors opened. Dean closed his door first, slipping out the driver's side, hidden mostly by the blinding light, but Sam, I could make him out just by the way he braced himself on the edge of the car. They stepped forward, both close enough so that Danni could make out the features of their faces, just to the side of the lights so that the four of us faced each other and her mouth just dropped. "Danni Danvers, meet Sam and Dean Winchester."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"No…freaking…way!" Danni said, her voice low as if she were trying to keep her reaction between the two of us, but I could almost see the smile on Sam's face and the doubt on Dean's. She stepped up closer to them and watched as Dean took a step back. I probably should have warned her about that.

He reached behind his back and I quickly stepped forward, placing my hand on his arm. Dean looked at me as I gave him a slight shake and he stilled, moving his hand ever so slightly but pressed it into the palm of mine as if I were keeping him grounded. Danni had stopped, seeing his reaction but she just looked over his face for a moment more before turning to Sam. Her eyes grew wide with acknowledgement and she shook her head.

"So, Sam and Dean, you know Ali told me a lot about you." Danni smiled but watched as Dean looked down at me.

"Oh yeah?" He questioned, moving that stare back up to the woman in front of us.

"No, not really." Sam smiled at this little snarky remark and he crossed his arms over his chest as he tried to get comfortable standing. I moved away from Dean, taking my hand from his arm as he followed my movement to his brother before focusing on Danni. "So what's your game?"

"Excuse me?" Dean's eyes narrowed as Danni held her ground.

"Well, you have to be playing something if you're suddenly so gun-ho on keeping her from what… vampires?" Danni laughed. I turned my head away from Sam to look at the two of them, while he placed a hand on my hip, the two of us bracing each other for the fight that seemed inevitable. "Do you really believe those are a thing?"

"Every monster you can think of is a thing, Lady." I should have warned her about that too, but again, I didn't. I could see the anger welling up in her face at the sarcastic nickname.

"I'm sorry, what did you call me?" Danni spoke softly, taking a step forward. Yep, off to a bad start per usual with Dean it seemed and Sam moved around me, putting himself between his brother, his back to the man, and faced Danni. "And, you, Moose, what's your deal?"

"Moose?" Sam said, a little dumbstruck, and I let the back of my head hit Danni's car. I heard him start mumbling under his breath, kicked off from her tire and added one more person to the conga line by placing myself in front of Danni, in the same protective stance as Sam, my back to her.

"She's not a demon," I whispered, holding up my hands as I watched the hard look that I had only seen while he was fighting cross Sam's face. The Latin exorcism that he chanted slowly came to a halt as he closed his eyes, for only a second before he looked down at me. "Look, I can explain everything, but it's going to sound insane, and if you're right about this vampire thing. Right here, right now, so not the place."

"Fine," Dean growled. "We found a place to crash for the night." He came around Sam as his gaze passed between me and Danni before it rested solely on me. "And then we have our little chat."

"Yeah," I snapped as he headed back for the car, "but are you going to be too pigheaded to listen and really understand it, or are you going to pull a total Winchester and ignore every word that comes out of my mouth."

Dean moved back towards me, the anger in his eyes was clearly evident and the only thing that stopped him was Sam's arm coming up and across his brother's chest, like a mom move with the seatbelt in a car.

"Alright, that's enough!" Sam growled, his voice dipping low as his eyes locked on Dean's. The older brother narrowed his eyes in our direction but he shook his head and turned back to the car, swearing under his breath as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. Sam turned back to us, his eyes also flickering back and forth and I watched that hard look ease out of him as he put his arm by his side and licked his lips. "You're pushing a very thin line, Al, and I don't know if I can hold back my brother if it's crossed, so I hope your story is as good as you think it is."

Danni and I watched as Sam turned back towards the car and I shook my head. "I hope that wasn't a threat, Sammy."

"It's not." He answered over his shoulder as he got into the car. Dean finished his cigarette, apparently not one to smoke in the car since it didn't smell anything like the American Spirits that he was puffing away on, but I watched as he gave me a quick narrow-eyed warning, flicked the butt and got into the car.

"I guess that's our cue," I shrugged as Danni stepped up beside me, the both of us still staring at the Impala. "So, thoughts."

"Those are definitely Winchesters," she sighed and patted me on the shoulder, "and we are so totally screwed!"

I nodded in agreement and followed her as she moved back towards her car. When the belts were buckled and the headlights came on, we watched the Impala turn and head left onto the main road. Danni looked, at me, her lips thinned as she flipped on the blinker and headed off after them.

"So, pretty intense right?" I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

"You look like hell," Danni snorted back and followed the taillights of the car ahead of us without blinking. "How much sleep have you gotten?"

"A couple hours here and there, mostly there. I slept on Sam just before we got into Joplin." The smile that crossed her face was one of congratulations and "sly dog", but she turned to me and raised an eyebrow. "Hey the back seat is comfy." I rolled my eyes as soon as the words left my mouth. "I'm just gonna shut up."

"Yeah, you should probably do that before you did yourself in deeper." I loved the fact that she was amused by my lack of verbal control. "Dean is pretty intense, not like the ones we know, more…"

"Hot as hell?" I piped up and watched her whip her gaze in my direction as I shrugged. "Just stating the obvious."

"Yeah, and I wonder if he does the same thing our Dean does, drink and ride the bull." Danni grinned, like really let the visual sink in.

"Drinking, yeah, picking up girls… not so much since he's been trying to save my ass for the last however many hours." I leaned my arm on the door using my fist to prop my head up. "How the hell are we going to convince them that we're not insane?"

"Oh, what's this we stuff?" She asked and glanced at me. "This is all you, sweets, you picked up the angry stray, Sam just came along for the ride."

"Yeah, whatever," I laughed and watched her smile. "No, seriously, they'll either believe us, or kill us."

"Or used holy water and whips and chains…"

"Okay, okay!" I shook my head and watched as they turned into the parking lot to the right. "Remind me to kick Dean and tell him how much some sort of warning would be nice."

"Yeah, let me get right on that."

We pulled in beside them, watched Sam roll his whole head, forget just the eyes as the engine cut out and Dean quickly moved from the car to the hotel room. Sam was still there, shaking his head, when I made my way over and knocked on the glass, Danni right behind me. He took a deep breath, licked his lips and looked up at me, without really moving.

"Listen, pal, if you're not going in there, then I'm not either!" I told him through the glass and he finally huffed and opened the door. Danni and I met him on the walkway and I grabbed his shirt, stopping him from entering the room. "What was that about?"

"You don't need to know." Sam answered, his voice course with anger but he wouldn't look at me.

"If it has to do with me, I do need to know," and I reached out, grabbing the other side of his shirt so his body was completely facing me. He stood there for a moment, looking out at something way over my head, both figuratively and literally, and finally he lowered his face towards mine, stopping just far enough away to be comfortable, but the look in his eyes, the anger on his face, yeah, that might have given me reason to be scared.

"If you're lying, if any part of this is complete bullshit, Al, there is nothing I can do to stop him from making his own call. That's just how Dean is," he growled, "and the fact that I might not be able to protect you from my own brother, that pisses me off."

"I'm going to lie, Sam, but I will warn you. It's absolutely insane at best, so if you're looking for a credible story, one that I can prove without a shadow of a doubt, I'm not sure I can give you that." He huffed and stood straight again. "Listen, Dean isn't going to hurt me, and neither are you."

"You can't know that." Sam whispered, but his eyes lowered to mine, just his eyes, as I released his shirt and stepped back.

"Have some faith, you might be surprised what it can do for you." I moved around him, feeling his hand brush against my arm as he let out a breath. Danni was right beside me as I grabbed the handle to the room and twisted. One last glance up at Sam and I stepped over the threshold to certain doom.

Okay so maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration but when I stopped next to the table and looked down by the beds, Dean was pacing back and forth. Danni grabbed the chair closest to the wall, and folded her fingers together as she put her feet up on the table, ready for a show. Sam walked in behind me, his touch ghosting down my spine as he moved passed me and stopped to lean against the dresser. My eyes weren't on his, they were only on Dean, whose green ones were burrowing into mine.

"Who wants to lead this circus?" I questioned, crossing my arms as I stood there, not backing down.

"It's your ring, your baton," Dean replied.

"But this, this world that you live in, not my monkeys." I raised my eyebrows and listened to Danni growl.

"Enough with the Barnum and Bailey's references, can we just get on with it?" She snapped and I gave her a tight-lipped grin.

"So where to start," I closed my eyes, ran my tongue over my lips to get things going and let out a breath, all before looking over at Sam, who was just staring. "Your name is Samuel Winchester, named after your grandfather, born May 2, 1983, to Mary and John Winchester. Mary died when you were six months old in a nursery fire," Sam's eyes went wide as he sat up straighter, and I turned to Dean taking one fateful step at a time. "Your name is Dean Winchester, born January 24, 1979, you're mother's maiden name was Campbell and you carry around only a few picture of her, yourself, John and Sam in your wallet. When you were four, you father handed you your baby brother and told you to go outside and not look back, from that moment on you were hunters, whether you wanted to be or not."

"Good, so you know my family history, so try telling me something the world doesn't know." Dean growled.

"The world doesn't know that monsters exist, that angels and demons are real, that you and Sam have gone to hell and back, died more times than you can count and are still here to talk about it." I sighed and let the shaky breath fall from my lungs. "The world doesn't know that Sam went off to college, met a girl, had a life but because of one little line, he was drawn back into it and she died, the same way your mother did."

"One line, what one line?" Dean snapped, and for an instant the snarky, protective Dean that I knew shined through.

"Dad's on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days." I whispered and watched the color run out of Dean's face, but it was quickly replaced by anger as he closed the distance between us and grabbed me by my upper arms. His fingers weren't tight, they didn't hurt, but I could almost feel him tapping out a song with those little ticks. "Metallica, you usually hum it when you're nervous."

He pushed away from me, running a hand through his hair as he moved back towards the bathroom. I glanced at Sam, still awestruck but unmoving and then I focused on Danni, who gave me just a little bit of a gesture to keep going.

"Gordon," I whispered, watching Dean spin around in his spot and I swallowed, waiting for the backlash, "Benny," and his eyes grew wide, as his lips parted, "Garth," the names were etching away at the anger, but as he started to realize what was going on, I could feel the emotions climbing in me. "Kevin," Dean glanced up at Sam, unsure of what to do, "Bobby Singer." This one had his eyes on me but it was the last name, the very last one that had my lips trembling. "Charlie Bradbury."

"Enough!" Dean snapped and it almost sounded like a lion roaring. "So you know the names of the people we have lost."

"You didn't lose them," I whispered and shook my head, "they were taken from you, by things that shouldn't exist, monsters that the rest of us are completely unaware of, at least, so we're led to believe."

"And you know this how?" Sam questioned, the first time I had heard his voice since it all began.

"This is the part that I told you was completely insane." I laughed and shook my head. "A television show."

"Excuse me?" Dean narrowed his eyes at me and I pulled the phone out of my pocket, flipped to YouTube and pulled up the latest teaser of Supernatural. With one hand raised, I stepped towards him and handed him the phone just as I pressed play.

Dean looked from me to the screen before I stepped back completely from his reach and I listened to the words that came from the small device. I had purposely picked a brother scene, the one from the most heart wrenching endings I could find because, dammit, he needed to know just what was going on.

Sam had undergone the trials, just about to kill off the king of hell himself and Dean had found a way to put an end to it but Sam's confession about how the one person he was never supposed to let down, and how many times he had done it to Dean. The older brother's response was to tell Sam just what needed to be said that there wasn't anything Dean would put in front of him, and he meant it.

When the scene ended, the shock and awe had disappeared from Dean's face, and his eyes moved from the small screen to Sam's. I watched with a bit of annoyance.

"Could you cut the brotherly non-verbal communication crap?" I snapped and sat down on the bed, keeping them both in my sights as I reached up and rubbed my forehead. Sam gave his usually shrug, which consisted of a quick tilt of his head, and Dean clenched his jaw, sighed and turned in my direction. "It's called Supernatural."

"That's a thing?" Dean's eyes creased as he asked.

"Actually, yes, a thirteen year-long _thing_." I put my hands on the bed, reclined a little and then realized it just was too uncomfortable to keep it that way and I leaned forward instead. Danni was all smiles in the corner, not wanting to give up her ringside seat as I went… nearly… toe-to-toe with her fantasy. "The show is about two brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester, saving people, hunting things, but it's become more than that, the show became more of a family, a way to connect people together."

"Well this," he pointed at the phone, "this ain't us."

"I'm not saying it is!" I growled and snatched the phone out of his hand when he was close enough, something that could have gotten me, well, I'm not sure what it would have gotten me if Dean was anyone besides the man I thought he was. "What I'm saying is that this is the reason I, we, know so much about you, about your history and about hunting. This…family business… of yours, here in this world it might just be the two of you, but in that one, it's a whole fandom?"

"A what?" Sam chuckled, which made me look up at him, "what the hell is a fandom?"

Danni laughed at that one, out loud enough so that she had to place her feet firmly on the ground in order to not fall over.

"Yeah, well," I said and cleared my throat as I smiled, "I guess I could see that being a new word for you. Um," God, how exactly do you explain that to someone? "Fans of the show as a collective whole is a Fandom, people who know enough about the characters and their lives, the way they operate, those are the people that make it up, people who would literally know Sam and Dean, that Sam and Dean, inside and out."

"Okay, so this fandom is basically in love with these two pretty boys who are playing… us… while hunting monsters?" This was Sam's interpretation of my explanation. _Pretty boys_? I wanted to ask him if he realized just how gorgeous he really was, but I clamped my lips shut and nodded. Sam, this Sam was so much darker than Jared Padalecki's version and I had to keep reminding myself of that. "Great, so how many wanna-be hunters are there out in the world?"

"That I know of," he nodded, "none. I mean the fandom itself can be a little extreme but I don't think I've actually heard of anyone going out and trying to hunt down these things."

"Good, because I'm not going to go save some ass who decided this life was something glamorous because of a television show." Yeah, definitely darker than the other Sam. I stood up from the bed and stuffed my hands into my pockets as I looked over at Dean, the one I needed to convince.

"So, plausible or completely mental?" I questioned and watched as Dean leaned back against the wall, crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head.

"Both," he admitted. Well, at least that was a start. "It doesn't tell me one thing though."

"Which is?"

"Why you didn't just haul ass when you saw us in the diner." This statement made me stop, and I know the look of confusion was evident on my face. "I mean, if you knew our world was so dangerous, why stick around?"

"You're kidding, right?" I smiled and pulled my hands out, crossing my own arms. "You, the one who was staring at me like I could have been your next conquest, you're asking ME why instead of running I sat there and ate my dinner?"

"I wasn't looking at you like that."

"You kind of were," Sam agreed and Dean gave him a hard look as if to tell him to shut up.

"I pointed her out to you!"

"I'm just saying," Sam raised his hands.

"Guys!" I turned to Danni and gestured for her to step in at any time but she was just having way too much fun with it and I shook my head, before looking at them. "Seriously, I didn't know you were following a nest, hell, I didn't actually believe I was seeing you. Not until Sam, here, decided that knocking on my door and telling me my headlight was out, way to lie by the way, was a really good idea."

"You knocked on her door?" Dean questioned and I leaned my head back, let my mouth hang open as I stared at the dirty ceiling.

"SO NOT THE POINT!" I growled and brought my sights back down on them.

"Let me ask something else then," Dean sat down on the second double bed and leaned one arm down on his leg, before he looked up at me. I was watching something I thought wasn't going to happen, I was seeing this darker Dean actually relax enough to not keep that stance he had, and while I wanted to smile, the question he was about to pose made me a little on edge. "Cas," and I knew it was coming, "you don't know him really, but you know of him on the show."

"No, I don't know Cas, I only know of his relationship to the Sam and Dean on the show."

"So when you said you knew an angel, when you told me about him?" I could see the distrust in his eyes.

"I lied." I openly admitted that wasn't one of my finest moments but I sat at the edge of the first bed, less than two feet from him and postured myself so that if either of the men felt the need to react, I was wide open for it. "I needed to know just how far this went. Were angels real in this, well, your life and the only way to do that was to give up a name, because according to you angels are "just myths"?"

Dean lowered his eyes to the carpet. Whatever had gone on between him and Cas was too painful for him to open up about and I could understand that, so I dropped the subject and just watched him for a moment before I stood.

I took a deep breath and looked at the man who was still standing, this time he was the guarded one, the one closed off by his arms, and I met his eyes with no fear.

"What about you?" I whispered to Sam and watched him push off from the dresser, his jaw was set, his lips white with how tight they were pressed together and he came within a breath of me before he lowered his head enough so that the eye contact was unbreakable.

"The jury's still out." He answered and pivoted to walk into the bathroom. I closed my eyes, swallowed and let everything settle because for the first time in almost 24 hours, there was a peaceful silence.

I nodded, took a deep breath and walked out of the room. I could feel someone following me, and I made it as far as to the middle of the parking lot before I stopped, stared up at the sky and tried to capture the emotions that surrounded me.

"Hey," Danni whispered as she walked up beside me, watched me take a few deep breaths as I stepped back and forth, not sure if I was going forward or back, but I know I wasn't standing still. My lips were quivering as I turned to look at her and the tears cascaded down my cheeks. Not ones of fear or anger, or even guilt or thankfulness, just ones of holding back for too long. "You gonna be okay?" I smiled at her, gave a slight laugh and placed my hands on my hips. "Are you okay with this?"

"No," I answered. "I not okay with this, I'm not okay with any of it." I turned towards the Impala, towards the room and bit my lip before I continued, still making my body sway, unable to stay planted. "I'm not okay with dragging you into the middle of it, not okay with the fact that no matter what we do now, they're not giving up, they're not giving ME up. I'm not okay with vampires or hunters or this whole insane turn of events. I'm not okay with it, Danni." I paused for just a beat and shook my head. "I'm not."

Her arms were tightly around my neck before I knew what was going on, and I let myself be held by the woman who was just about an inch taller than me. It was something solid, something real I could hold onto and I closed my eyes, returning her embrace as I heard the sound of boots on the gravel stop. Sam had been wearing them, I knew because I had listened to them exit the car at the diner, noting the way he moved so that I could pinpoint him anywhere, but I didn't acknowledge him because I knew that he had heard every word I had said.

So Sam and Dean knew, they accepted, for the most part but what to do next was weighing on my mind. That question, the reason Danni had come to meet me in the first place, so I could follow her home was met with one uncertain predicament.

What the hell are we going to tell her husband?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I found myself back on the edge of the bed again, this time not bothering to look at anyone as I leaned forward, elbows on my knees staring at the shady looking spot on the carpet. I was trying not to think of anything, or anyone in particular when I realized that my rental car was sitting on the side of the road with six very dead and very decapitated vampires.

I let out a growl, apparently one that captured the attention of one specific man, and let myself flop back on the bed, with my knees to the edge of the bed and my feet on the floor. Danni laughed as she found herself at the table with said specific man and I turned my head in that direction.

"My Goddamned car!" I snapped and placed my hands over my head, and before I turned my eyes away, I watched Sam scan me over. Dean let out a snort, and I glanced at him as he still occupied the other bed. For some reason he had his boot in his hand, was playing with the laces and apparently amused by what I was going through. "It's not funny, Dean, my insurance is going to go through the roof, and I'm supposed to drive that sucker home."

"I took care of it," he stated softly, without looking up at me as he pulled that boot back on. This made me sit up, and stare at him, my lower arms against my legs and he happened a glance before the smile widened on his face. "Sorry, you just look a little high strung when it comes to that car, so I called someone to take care of it."

"Not that I don't appreciate it, but exactly _how_ did you take care of it?" I questioned softly. The evil grin on Dean's face made me red in the cheeks because for all his Deanisms, he was still sexy, especially when the laugh lines around his eyes crinkled.

He turned to me, sitting at the corner of the bed and leaned in, closing the space between us until either I could easily move in and kiss him, or he was going to fall off the bed, neither of which was going to happen.

"Let's just say, I know a guy, who knows a guy." He reached out and patted me on the knee before he stood and made his way to the small green cooler that he had brought in and grabbed a beer out of it. "I'm going out to smoke a butt, anyone need something from the car?" I had followed him as he moved, and while my ears trained on Dean's words, my eyes were caught in Sam's gaze. "No, sweet, I'll be outside if you need me, scrubbing the image of the bedroom eyes the two of you keep giving each other from my mind."

My mouth dropped as Sam smiled, watching Dean leave, but he turned those blue-green eyes back to me. His comment, his "jury's still out" little remark still played in my mind as I got up and went to the bathroom, but I didn't close the door fully, just enough so that they wouldn't see me standing at the sink.

I breathed in and out, a shaky breath with each exhale and stared into my own bloodshot eyes for what felt like forever when the door creaked inwards and I stood up straight. Sam slipped in, as if the crack between the door and the frame didn't get any wider and he cleared his throat as he locked my eyes in a stare still looking in the mirror.

"I was wrong," he said softly and let my head fall forward.

"There wasn't anything that you needed to be right for," I whispered and braced myself. I stiffened as his fingers lightly touched my lower back. "Stop!" I turned quickly and looked up at him, knowing just how close this little space was going to make us and it was hard not to run smack-dab into his chest. "Don't apologize, don't use the words "I'm" and any form of the word "sorry" in the next half dozen sentences! Just don't!"

"Why a half-dozen?" He smiled and I tried not to be affected by it but that wasn't working.

"I don't know, it was the closest thing to a number that I could pull out of my ass with you…" my words were cut off as his hands came up quickly to my cheeks and his lips pressed against mine, wet and warm, pulling me in for a kiss. The shock that ran through me was nearly enough to jumpstart a car but I was finally able to come to my senses and grab both his wrists with my hand. When he backed away he was just as breathless as I was, but his forehead rested lightly against mine. "What was that for?"

"I thought maybe it would cover at least half of that half-dozen." He stated playfully and I pushed his hands away but I didn't let go, I just held them tightly.

"Sam," it was meant to be a statement but it came out more like a breathless need and the touch of his forehead was replaced by the feel of his lips against that same spot.

"I know you don't want this, our involvement in your life, but I can't let you go out there and not know you're safe," he sighed, his lips moving against me as he spoke.

"It's just been a long time since I've had someone fighting to defend me," I answered and our gazes met as he backed away, his back bumping against the wall, leaving less than two feet between us. "As much as I would want to walk away right now, I couldn't, not until I knew that you weren't hurting anymore."

"Then you better plan on sticking around forever," he grinned, "this isn't exactly a live until you're 90 kind of job."

"Yeah," I half-smiled, "I kind of got that."

I let go of one of his hands as my eyes moved down his shirt. It wasn't that he was still bleeding, at least I didn't think so, but the shirt he wore still had the bloodstains on it and I reached out just to make sure that it was dry.

"Do you want to check it?" He gave me a devilish grin and I knew he just wanted me to touch him, but I smiled away and nodded, because, dammit if I didn't need him or need to feel something solid.

I expected him to pull it up just a little but before I knew it, I was staring at his bare chest, and he was holding that shirt in his hand. There was nothing wrong with his bandage, nothing wrong with the wound, and he knew it, but I went through the motions like I had been.

The instant I touched the warmth of his skin, just the tips of my fingers, I heard him let his head drop back, heard it hit the wall and I spread my fingers wide over his navel while I tugged at the tape with my other hand. I wasn't sure what he liked more, the feeling of my touch or the pain that came with removing the tape, because as I did both, I listened to the little sounds of him responding to the pull of the tape on the fine hair that ran down from his chest and disappeared beneath the button of his jeans.

With the edge of it opened, I pulled back the gauze and inspected the wound, still tight, still looking good, and I raised an eyebrow at him as I looked up.

"Nice move, Sammy," I winked and gingerly put the tape back before I removed my touch from him completely. I watched the line of his jaw clench, as if he were pissed at himself for reacting that way to just a simple touch, but then I realized, it wasn't anger that he was feeling, it was what Dean had said in the car, confusion on the reason why he was reacting that way towards me. "This is just as foreign to you, isn't it?"

"What?" He asked, not picking his head up, but his eyes came down to meet mine, "the need to protect someone, to feel them?" I didn't give him any indication on which way I wanted the answer to go and I watched as he rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it is." I watched as he used his hand to rub down the scruff on his face, before clearing his throat. "Dean and I, we've never been ones to settle for anything. One night things are, you know, kind of our deal, but with you…" he sighed, "with you it feels different."

"So, I'm not just a job?" I smiled and watched as the smile tried to form on his lips but he shook his head.

"You never were," he admitted, "but there's a reason that we're alone in this."

"It's hard to do your job and keep one eye on someone who might become a liability," I finished for him and watched as he nodded.

"Did your show tell you that?" The little bit of jealousy in his voice made me grin.

"No, the job description kind of did," I shrugged. "Moving around, never staying in one place, hunting things that could kill you, running towards the danger while everyone else is running away. You need to be focused on that, not on some helpless woman that could get you killed."

"You're not helpless," he said softly. I tugged his shirt out of his hand and pressed it against his chest as I raised an eyebrow and opened the door.

"Who said I was talking about me?" I replied with just the right amount of snark and watched the smile cross his lips just before I left the room.

Danni was waiting at the table, looking a little bit lost and I pulled out the chair across from her, sitting down to focus on her thoughtful expression. Both of us looked up as Sam came out of the bathroom, pulling the shirt down over his head, just as Dean came back into the room. The older one stopped, watched the motion of his younger brother and gave him the most adorable look, and I say adorable lightly because it was a mix of confusion and possible thoughts of sexual subtext.

"So, what are we going to tell Wayne?" I questioned and looked over at Danni.

"Wait, you're still going home?" Dean asked, snapping around so that he was facing both of us, to which both of us answered with a nod of our heads. "You can't."

"The hell I can't!" Danni snapped and Dean looked at her in shock. Her eyes flashed at me with a look of uncertainty and I could see there was something else just below the surface that was bothering her. "I can't stay at a hotel with two men, especially not you two, and I already told him that she and I were headed back as soon as we could."

"That's your plan, just to head home?"

"Yeah." I closed my eyes because I could see it bubbling up to an argument already.

"You do realize that there are _vampires_ after her ass? I mean, come on, we've had this conversation already. You can't just trail them back to your place."

"You're right, but if you want to protect her," Danni said pointing at me, "you're just going to have to do it from the comfort of that baby out there."

"We just park somewhere and watch?"

"I bet you like to watch," her words were dripping with sarcasm, but Dean narrowed his eyes.

"We can't protect her from the inside of a car, Danni. There has got to be a better plan than that."

"Can we not talk about me like I'm not in the freaking room?" I snapped and watched them both look at me. "This is what we need to do, Dean, keep up with as much a normal appearance as we can, blend in, hell, go home, if they think we've given up on fighting them, then maybe you can take care of the rest of the nest."

"Not a bad plan," Sam mumbled.

"Shut up!" Dean growled glancing back at his brother before turning to rest his eyes on the two of us. "You're both insane."

"Most of the best people are." Danni answered back and I watched as Sam smiled at the banter.

"Do you even know how to kill them?" But he wasn't looking at me when he said it, he was staring at her. Danni gave a wide grin and nodded. "How, because of a show?"

"No, because I'm not stupid!" She answered and rose from the chair. I watched as she stopped right in front of the man that towered over her, not intimidated in the slightest and, though I'm not sure what she did because her back was too me, I watched Dean's eyes widen. "If you're coming, pack your shit, I'm leaving in 20 minutes."

I licked my lips as she walked by before biting down on my lower one and looked up at Dean trying to hide my smile.

"Jesus, you would never know that you two weren't really related," he stated, his eyes coming down to mine as he moved over to take the seat she just vacated. "She's just as pigheaded as you are."

"No one ever said family had to be blood." I smiled, but it faded from my lips as I thought of Bobby. "When did he die?"

"I'm not sure," his confession shocked me just a little that he knew just who I was referring to as he grabbed his weapon from his waist band and the bandana from his pocket, polishing the gun as I looked at him, "we weren't there when it happened."

"What?" I felt my whole expression drop and Dean looked up at me, concern spreading across his expression, as the blood drained from my face.

"He was hunting a changeling in West Virginia," Sam spoke up and moved to crouch down in front of me. I could feel the weight of his hands on my knees as I tried to focus on what he was telling me. "We were…we think we were in Arkansas when it happened. The call came in months after that Bobby hadn't been home, and we couldn't track him down."

"You didn't talk to him for months?" I questioned and watched Sam glance in his brother's direction.

"We had a falling out about a year before, only talked to him when he needed help with a case or we needed information on whatever baddie we were chasing." Dean grumbled but there was no other emotion in his voice, like he had turned it off.

"It was probably about a year after we learned that he was gone that we found him, by then…" I raised a hand and closed my eyes.

"Yeah, I get it." I swallowed back the pain and felt Sam brush my cheek, before he stepped away.

They both gave me a minute to collect my thoughts and even though I tried to keep clear of the subject, my mind wandered to Cas and if they didn't know what had happened to Bobby until it was too late, how did they know Cas was okay?

I stood up quickly, cleared my throat and ran my hand through my hair. "Are we going?"

"Yeah," Dean whispered and stood as Sam tried to catch my attention but I nodded, looked around to see if there was anything in the room that I needed and before he could grab my arm, I was out the door.

"Bobby?" Danni whispered as I finished telling her what the boys had told me and she glanced at me from behind the wheel of the car, before staring blankly at the road ahead of her. "Well, they can't be our Sam and Dean and still be this Sam and Dean."

"Do you realize how weird that sounds?" I tried to smile as she nodded, but I stared out at the side view mirror thinking about the headlights that followed us down the highway. "Hey," I turned back to her again and adjusted to get comfortable in the seat, "what did you do to Dean?"

"What are you talking about?" She tried to play off being confused but I watched the smile creep up on her cheeks.

"Don't pull that crap with me, you know exactly what I'm talking about." I laughed and watched as she licked her lips and raised an eyebrow as she snuck in a glace between the oncoming cars.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She flashed a grin and laughed as I sighed. "Besides, I'm not the one coming out of the bathroom with a half-naked Winchester right behind me."

"I was checking his bandage." I answered, probably too quickly to be convincing and watched as she kept on grinning.

"Ah-huh."

"So what's our plan when we get home?" I asked quickly changing the subject.

"The neighbor's house, the one across the pasture, you know Charlie and his wife."

"Yeah, I remember you telling me about them."

"Snow birds," she shrugged, "I have the code for the garage, there's a gate that faces our house. It's not more than three hundred feet from our front door, plus if they get cold, there's a wood stove."

"So we're putting them up in the garage for the night?" I thought for a moment about Dean and how much he would love to get his hands on some good wax for his perfect car and I gave her a nod. "Sounds like the perfect place, but," I turned to her again, "that means you didn't tell him did you?"

"Well, here's the deal, there's no right way to explain to any man that you're coming home with two guys like that, no matter what way you spin the coin, it's going to end badly." She did have a valid point and it saved us from explaining to him why they looked exactly (aside from Dean's scar) like the boys on the show, which was something he watched. "I have some supplies as far as food that we can bring up to them, plus there's probably a fully stocked pantry for the non-perishables."

I watched as she swallowed hard and couldn't help but think of her face earlier. "What is it?"

"What do you mean?" I raised a brow in her direction, waiting for her to just spill. "Okay, so the last few days, actually since Friday morning, Wayne has been acting different."

"Different as in jealous different or different as in a dingo stole my baby different."

"What?" She looked at me quickly and I couldn't help but smile. "Neither of those make any sense! No, like almost possessed. He's not eating, not sleeping, questions everything and strangely enough, it's about you. He wanted me to leave a list of all the stuff we were going to do, even your check in times and places you were planning to stay."

"Okay, so did you give them to him?"

"No," she shrugged, "it was a bit weird. I love him but something is definitely going on. He said might make himself scarce after dinner tonight, but I don't know, something about the way he's acting is bothering me."

"Want me to run down the whole supernatural laundry lists of "have you noticed"?" I smiled and watched her give me a grin, but shake her head. "Seriously, I mean if we're talking in terms of how much weirder this week could get, um, yeah, I'm pretty sure that nothing's going to top having to explain Sam and Dean to the real Sam and Dean."

"You have a point, maybe it's just a thing he's going through, you know, knowing we'll be on the road the whole week." I wanted to smile and reassure there but there was just nagging feeling and this voice in the back of my head, that told me, yeah, something was definitely off. "I'm sure he'll come out for the bonfire."

"Yeah," I whispered, and watched the concern on her face, "me too."

My phone vibrated in my back pocket just as she finished explaining and I pulled it out to see a number on the screen that I didn't recognize, but on the ID was Sam's name in capital letters. Danni looked at me strangely as I swiped the phone and placed it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Al, it's Sam." I knew that and I was pretty sure he knew that I got that part. "The next rest stop we come to, can you have Danni pull in, Dean's got to get gas."

"Yeah, I'll have her stop at the next one," I replied and looked over at her. Danni rolled her eyes, contemplated actually telling them no, but shrugged. "She'll stop."

"Any guess on possibly how long?"

"ETA?" I asked Danni and she proceeded to flip me off.

"Ten minutes." She replied smiling as she answered and I shook my head.

"I heard," he whispered to me. "Think I could steal you for a minute when we get there?"

"Need me to check your bandage again?" I grinned and listened to Danni let out a hearty laugh.

"No, just need to talk," he mumbled, trying to hide it from Dean. There was something in his voice that caught me, something just a little off.

"You okay, Sam?" I practically whispered into the phone.

"Yeah," he said clearing his throat, "yeah, I'm fine. Just, you know, when you get a few."

"Okay." I listened to the phone disconnect and I glanced over at Danni, curious as to what the hell just happened there.

"What's going on?" Danni questioned, knowing my silence for something more than just a comfortable paused.

"Nothing, Sam just wants a moment of my time," I shook my head, not that I had any idea why, but something in his voice made me worry. I bit down on my lip and nervously waited for what felt like forever for those ten minutes to be up


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

When we arrived at the rest stop, Danni pulled the Escape away from the pumps as Dean pulled through and stopped. With a deep breath, unsure of what the hell was about to happen, I watched Danni jump out, taking the keys with her, and while I was distracted enough to just sit there hesitating, a gentle tap on my window had me turning toward the glass and the frowning face of Sam Winchester.

I reached for the door, steadied my heart and stepped out next to him. Without a word, he gestured towards the picnic table that sat over on the grass not more than 20 feet away. We walked quietly together, his hands jammed into his coat pockets as he slowed his strides in order for me to keep up.

I didn't say a word as I hopped up onto the hard wood of the table top, discolored by years of being out in the sun and drowning rains, but I definitely kept my eyes on the man that was pacing like a caged animal in front of me.

I could tell that he wanted to say something, needed to say something but the way his eyes had gone hard, I knew that those words were just not coming to the forefront. The seconds ticked by and the more he paced, the more my heart started to race and finally I reached out for him, snagging his jacket on the way by.

His head snapped in my direction and I could almost see the cold solitude in his eyes, a coping mechanism that he must have developed to help control his emotions, but his gaze traveled down to my hand on his sleeve, and then up my arm to connect once again with mine. He let out a breath as I dropped my hold, as if that one little movement had been the slip in control that he was fighting.

"Sam," I whispered, more questioningly than anything, "what's going on?"

"I can't," he replied, with a frigid tone in his voice and he turned his body towards me. I felt the weight of his stare, the way he took me in and I shrugged. "I'm sorry, Al, but I can't."

"Can't what, Sam?" I wasn't sure about what exactly was going on, what he couldn't do. His expression and his eyes told me nothing except whatever he was feeling he was trying to keep it locked away.

"I can't care about you," he admitted and I watched his chest puff up as he drew in a deep breath before slowly releasing it.

"Is that what this is all about? Trying to figure out your feelings for me?" I smiled, but felt the blush rise. "You don't have to care about me, I would…"

"What? Never expect it? From me?" His voice was harsh with anger, not aimed at me, but more aimed at himself. "Because I'm broken?"

"Are you?" I snapped back. "Are you really so broken inside that you wouldn't think you could let yourself care about anyone? Do you think losing Jess, or anyone else, means that you can't be loved or cared for?"

"Honestly," he paused, "yes."

"You're life hasn't been easy, I get that, but it doesn't mean that you're not allowed to be loved, that you are supposed to spend every day of it without someone worrying about you." I put my hands down on the wood and gripped the edge of the table tightly. "Sam, pain makes us human, loss makes us aware of our humanity, but it doesn't mean close yourself off."

"It does!" He growled, and it was such a strong noise that I sat up straight, glancing over at the pumps where Dean stood, suddenly looking in our direction. Danni came around the backside of the car and gave me a questioning look but I just raised my hand and gave it a little shake, telling her to stay away before I raised my eyes to those fuming bright ones. "I can't do my job, I can't protect you if I'm constantly thinking about you, always wanting to…to feel you. Do you know what that's like? To be so numb for so long and then suddenly have something tangible to grasp onto?"

"Are you asking me if I've ever felt unwanted, incapable?" I smiled and nodded. "Oh, hell yes, every day of my life for the last thirteen years when I failed at a marriage that struggled to keep afloat. I've been numb for so long, Sammy, so long that I forgot what it feels like to let someone else in."

"It's not the same!"

"Bullshit!" I watched that animal return as he started to pace once more. "Your _job_ may be to protect me, but it doesn't mean you have to care, or feel anything, that's your choice."

"Then I chose not to feel it!" He stopped pacing and stared me down, the anger in his eyes and the defensive state of his body told me that if I pushed him, he might break and with this Sam, there was no telling what was coming.

"Then don't." I moved to get off the table, looked down for half a second to get my distance between the bottom of my shoe and the soil but when I looked up, I saw the confusion in his face, the battles that raged in side him, and I abandoned the thought of running away from him. "This is about Jessica, isn't it?"

"No!" he barked, but took that one step to begin pacing again, before he stopped once again and looked at me. "Yes. It's always been about her."

"Then it's something you have to figure out, something you need to deal with before you try and figure out whatever "feelings" you think you have with me, or towards me, or about me." I groaned because the words just weren't coming out right.

My eyes focused on the two "older" siblings that were looking on, going about their own little pieces of business but I knew they had positioned themselves to be front and center should either one of us needed it. As much as Dean had opened up to me, Sam would always come first, he would always protect his brother, and Danni, well she didn't trust either one of them as far as she could throw them and the thought of letting me out of her sight just wasn't going to fly.

"Are we done?" I questioned, not sure what we had even accomplished by this little chat except that he couldn't care for me, or he wouldn't let himself think of the possibility. Sam closed his eyes, a gesture that I took as yep, we were finished with this discussion and I put my feet squarely on the bench and stood, but that was when it happened, with no warning what so ever.

His hands cupped my cheeks like they had in the bathroom and his kiss was as much bruising as it was filled with need and tenderness. I was standing at a perfect height, there was no need for him to bend to me, there was no reason for him to sweep me up in his arms, but one came away from my face, wrapping around my waist as the one he left slid back and tangled in my hair.

He pulled me closer, using his tongue to run a line against the heat of my mouth and the feeling of it sent shivers everywhere. This SAM, this man before me had probably done this with more women than I cared to imagine but at that moment, there was only us, there wasn't the thought of his history, of the way he spent his nights and I placed my palm against his face, the other around his neck.

Did we both need to feel something after the day we had, of course, but what I wanted to feel and how far I wanted to go were two separate things and I pushed at him, just a little confused and bit down on my lip before I slipped out of his embrace.

Angry with myself for letting him kiss me, especially after telling me that he couldn't, wouldn't care about me, I pressed the back of my hand against my mouth and walked past Danni without a word, headed straight for the bathroom.

Sam stepped up, not more than five steps behind me and as I ducked around, the corner, I stopped. I wasn't going in, that would require a key and there was no way I was going to backtrack to get one because that would open up the possibility that I would get cornered in that mess once again, so I closed my eyes, pressed every inch of me I could against the concrete on the backside of the building and listened, just listened to what was going on.

"What the hell did you do?" Danni's voice snapped.

"Let go of my arm." Sam replied and I could hear the growl in his voice but Danni wasn't backing down.

"I'll ask you again, what the hell did you do?

"Hey," Dean's gruff voice picked up as he moved closer, I could tell by the sound of his boots. "What the hell's going on? Where's Ali?"

"She headed towards the bathroom, running away from Sammy here."

"Don't call me that." Sam snapped and his voice seemed void of emotion.

"You gonna tell me what's going on, or are we going to play a game?" Danni scolded and I could just imagine Sam, who towered over her just as much as he did me, giving her this nasty look.

That was when I heard it, the snap of the twigs in the bushes just beyond the light of the backdoors. I opened my eyes and focused my ears on that noise, letting the sounds of the three people around the corner become just a little more than a muffle of voices. I unsnapped the clasp on the spectrum that I had hooked to my belt and drew it from the sheath.

 _This...is a very bad idea! Go back to Sam and Dean, this is too dangerous._ The voice who had been quiet for some time screamed loudly in my head, and I swore I even felt a push against my own forward motion.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was stepping, almost tip-toeing in the direction of the sound as more twigs snapped, closer to where I was. I let the handle twirl loosely in my hands, knowing that a death grip on it when I first swung might mean that it went flying from my hands before I even got it where it needed to be. I paused, let my eyes adjust to the darkness as I stepped just past the edge of the light and immediately saw the outline of a person.

What the hell was I doing, I wasn't a hunter, I didn't have any training, and the reason I knew there was no way I was going to make it in that world was because my feet froze to the ground the moment it started walking towards me.

 _Why aren't you listening to me, Ali? Go back...go back!_

What little instincts I prided myself on having kicked in and I grabbed the phone out of my back pocket. Holding it out just enough so that I could see, I swiped my finger around the pad, kicking on the flashlight mode but more importantly, I sent a call out to Sam, the last person to have called the phone.

I heard his voice from two directions, behind me by the cars and through the small device in my hand. Hello was one word, and my name, his nickname for me, was the second, and the last thing I heard before the whirlwind of excitement explodes around me.

 _Swing, Ali, swing with everything you have!_

I dropped the phone the moment it advanced and did the only thing that I could think of, I listened to that voice, I swung. I swung hard, fast and multiple times, but there were three or more of them, or maybe there was just one and I was twirled into a strange state of consciousness. Every time it made contact, I could feel the resistance, every time it let loose from the flesh it marred, I could feel the ease of the swing, but I knew one thing for certain, I wasn't making any killing blows.

I felt the sting of every fresh cut that sang over the flesh on my arms, across my chest and I knew that whatever I was facing had the same kind of weapon I did because the searing pain of the sharp blades didn't match the itch of the scratches on my arm.

Finally, I had just about given up, knew that I was somewhere in the mix of whatever was trying to grab me when I felt the blade give against the thick skin of an abdomen, one just in reach of my arm, one tucked close to my body and I let my eyes adjust as I stared into the face of the small woman in front of me. She had black hair, dark eyes and was beautiful, aside from the fangs that she bared at me, but I yanked up on the knife, holding her tightly on the shoulder with my other arm.

That was when I caught the noises behind me, the grunts of punches thrown and taken, and I slowly backed away from her, yanking the blade out as I went. I was done playing, I was done being the prey and as I moved one foot back to brace myself, to let my arm swing through, I put every ounce of power behind that one quick swipe.

The knife caught, dragged and suddenly released as I stepped back, the spectrum at my side, dripping with the Asian woman's blood, and watched as her head went one way and her body went the other. Feeling all the fight go out of my legs, I hit the hard dirt with my knees, no bracing for impact, no way to reach out and cushion the blow. I knew I was covered in blood and cuts, and that the world behind me had gone silent once again.

Strong arms were suddenly upon me, wrapping snugly around my waist as I felt the bristled cheek of the green-eyed man, as I caught the scent of his last cigarette on his jacket and the soft whisper of encouragement as he tried to bring me to my feet but all I saw was darkness, the forest before me and the tinge of red on the outskirts of my vision.

I was lifted, carried as I lay limp in his arms, feeling the way his body moved as he covered the ground, still speaking to me, still not making any sense, and then the cool fabric of the Impala, the light scent of Sam and Dean surrounded me and a cool cloth washed over my face.

That was what did it, the coolness of the water that caressed my face, that was what brought me back because, I was suddenly staring into the eyes of someone beyond worried. I could hear again, and the voices, the noises bombarded me with beat of my heart. I pushed past Dean, moved out of the car and made it to the edge of the woods just in time for that noise, the buzz in my ear, to turn my stomach upside down and everything I had eaten that day came rushing to the surface and out.

It was Dean again that was holding me up, his body seemed to mold to mine from behind, his stomach pressed against my back, his legs against any part of me that they could touch, and his arm slipped around my waist again, while his free hand held my hair. His strong voice encouraged me to relax, to let it out, to let go and slowly I did, standing straight only to let my body weight press against him.

Once again, I felt weightless as he brought me to the car and set me down on that cool seat and my eyes began to focus. Sam was outside my line of sight, handing Dean clean towels, damp cold ones that made me shiver and I glanced up with sleepy eyes to Danni, who although very capable of taking care of me herself, stood guard, her hand on the small gun tucked at her side.

She would let the boys dote this time, because she was more concerned with keeping the three of us protected. She knew soon enough that the touching, the mother hen deal they were doing was going to become irritating and I was going to start slapping them away.

Dean was speaking, but his words were jumbled, and I felt my brows crease in wonder, and confusion. He shook his head, climbed in further with me and almost hoisted me from my position to lay me back on the seat, leaning over me as he did so, and he smiled, pushing the hair back from my face.

"Close your eyes," ah, the words were starting to make sense, though they didn't quite match the movement of his mouth, "go to sleep, we're going home."

Home? We were going home? I watched him back away, let the sudden exhaustion take over and my eyelids drifted shut as I tried with very little success to keep them open but even as my eyes betrayed me, my ears picked up the conversation outside.

"Look!" Dean snapped, shutting up the two bickering voices outside the car. "I don't give a rat's ass, who _you_ trust, and who _you_ don't," and by the emphasis on the two "yous" in that sentence I got the vision of him pointing first to one and then the other. "Get in the damn truck and show me where the hell we're going because I have to get her out of here now!"

"Dean!" Sam snapped.

"No, Sam, this time it's my way," he ordered, "you ride with Danni, you keep her safe, I'll keep this one tucked down and the sooner we get to a safe location, the better all of us will be."

"I don't..." Sam started again.

"And I…don't care!" Dean answered, before closing the door at the bottom of my feet. I felt the car rock as he slipped into the driver's side and closed it once again, giving him just a second to let out a small breath before he cranked the engine over and the car roared to life.

I heard the arguing, the sound of two distinct car doors and with that, felt the Impala back out of the parking spot. Strangely enough, my thoughts traveled to the phone I had dropped and the blade that was no longer in my grasp.

"Hang on, Kid," Dean growled, not in a bad way, but more of a distinctly protective manner. "We're gonna go and get you somewhere so we can clean you up, just lay still."

 _Don't fall asleep, don't give in!_

"Dean?" I managed to get out, though I don't remember forming the word.

"I'm here, Kid, I gotcha," he mumbled, but I could hear the same doubt in his voice that Sam had in his when we were arguing. Neither of them wanted to care, but both of them did and that was throwing them way off their game. "Sam's with Danni and she's taking us home, okay, just…just hang in there."

I fought the darkness with everything in me but there was nothing left to fight with, and slowly I let the rocking of the car sooth me to sleep on the backseat of Baby for the second time that day, sending a silent apology to the voice that had tried to keep me conscious.

The lights that beamed through the rear window hit my eyelids like a cannon flash. I raised my arm up as high as it would go, and with the soreness in my muscles that wasn't very far, to block out the light. Everything hurt and in most places stung and I did my best to roll over onto my side and push myself up from the seat.

I couldn't hear anything except the pop of the engine cooling off and sound of it echoing off the building, but it was warm and I was, for the most part, dry, except for the blood that caked my shirt. Groaning as my eyes fluttered, I realized that I had a thrown up whatever my body was using as fuel and I was running on empty. I grabbed the door handle behind my head and pushed against it, nearly tumbling out of the car as I tried and failed to get to my feet without the aid of the sleek black machine.

Not having the will to stand up straight, I made it to the end of the car before I heard the footsteps somewhere behind or beside me, but I looked up at Sam as he skidded in behind me, helping my legs to support my waist.

"Easy, Al," he whispered against my ear as I turned and leaned against the warmth of his body instead of the cold steel of the car, and I felt his cheek press against the top of my head, his arms running up and down my back as he held me gently. "Where were you going?"

"Water?" I tried to laugh but it just came out a dry cough.

"Here," Danni whispered and Sam moved his arm so that she could touch the bottle to my lips, eagerly I drank, not realizing just how much fluid I had lost with the blood and being sick, but the scrapping of the chair across the concrete floor brought back flashes of the fight with the vampires and my body shook against Sam. "You need to sit down."

"Where are we?" I questioned and watched as Dean rearranged the table and chairs of whatever large building we were in to compensate for the fact that he needed to bring them to me and not me to them. Once I was able to sit, I knew that Danni would be on one side of me taking vitals and Sam would be on the other side, assessing the damage from whatever had cut me, but droopy-eyed, I stared at the man who sat across from me. "Hey," I whispered and watched the small smile reach his eyes, "don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Your fantasies?" Dean cracked a grin, but I raised an eyebrow and took the bottle of water Danni was holding out to me again.

"Ha, you wish!" I replied, took a sip of water, but tried to drink too much at one time and ended up coughing.

"That's what you get for not admitting your feelings," Dean teased and my eyes shifted to Sam, who leaned back in his seat and he reached over, placing his hand gently on the back of my neck. Dean licked his lips and sat forward. "So, you know I'm gonna ask what the hell possessed you to do that, right?"

"Well, now I do." Danni gave a little snort at that reply as she grabbed some shop towels and a bowl of water. I didn't realize what actual damage I took until she touched my face with cloth and I couldn't stop the wince of pain. "I'm covered in blood, is there a shower in this place?"

"Actually, a shower wouldn't be such a bad idea," Danni suggested and went to her car, grabbing my bag from the trunk. "Come on, you can pick on the boys later."

"You're going to have to help me," I whispered as I looked up at her, but I heard both of them clear their throats and I rolled my eyes, "to the shower, not in it, you pervs!"

Sam smiled as I found my strength to push myself up from the table, but Dean just watched me with a tight lipped grin and raised brows. Shaking my head at both of them, I let Danni hold me up as we walked slowly towards the back door labeled rest room. Not only was she hauling me, but she had the heavy overnight bag on her other arm.

"You scared the hell out of me," she snapped as I sat on the toilet and watched her go about pulling out shampoo, conditioner and soap.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that." I whispered and sniffled as the steam from the shower started to help my muscles relax. She walked over, looked down at me and raised one brow. Apparently, she was expecting me to do something because she suddenly crossed her arms.

"Well, you gonna get in or just let the bill go up?" I sighed, kicked off my shoes, and made my way towards the standing shower, pulling the shirt from my skin, at least until it stuck to the multiple cuts. Growling at my bad luck of getting my own shirt stuck, I could hear Danni laughing in the background. "Want some help?"

"Not if it comes with the price of amusing you," I snipped and suddenly felt the fabric ripped the rest of the way off my arms. Danni rolled her eyes and started to leave the room. "Hey, Danni," she glanced at me as I stood there in my bra and jeans, "you and Sam, you guys okay?"

"To be honest, I don't know what Sam and I are, I'm not even clear on what Dean and I are but I know one thing, they saved your ass tonight, so we're good," she smiled and glanced at the two of them out at the table. I looked past her to see them watching impatiently, "for now."

I smiled and nodded as she closed the door the same moment I reached for the buttons on my jeans.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The soap, the shampoo, the water, it stung everything and made my skin feel like I was on fire, but damn it was better than feeling nothing, or totally exhausted. I had managed to get the bandage off the scratches before getting in, so I was able to inspect them, and happy to see they weren't as angry and inflamed as they had been before.

I didn't know how long I stood there after finishing with the general everyday needs of showering but I know that at some point I adjusted the spray and sat down along the back wall of it, letting the water hit me where I pulled my knees up to my chest.

There was a gentle knock on the door, one that I had come to recognize fairly quickly and I looked over at the large white shower curtain, as if I were supposed to be able to see him through it. Clearing my throat, it took me a moment to find the voice to put behind the words.

"Come in, Sam." I squeaked out, listened to the door open and shadow loom over the plastic, illuminated by the lights on the bathroom sink. "Yes, I'm still alive in here."

"Oh good, I was beginning to wonder." He sighed and sat down on the toilet seat right next to the wall that I was leaning against. I could see him through the space between the curtain and the wall and I rested my head back so that I could just watch him. He leaned forward, placed his elbows on his knees and I watched his hand go up through his hair. "Ali, about the rest stop."

"Jesus, Sam, if you're going to do this every time you're in the bathroom with me, I'm going to start charging you Bathroom Confessional fees." I watched the smile that crossed his lips and his eyes flickered over to the space, his fingers folding together as he pressed his lips against his knuckles. "I get that you're scared, that it's not your usual feeling."

"I'm not…" he groaned and I watched his eyes as they meet mine, "scared, I'm not scared."

"Then you have avoidance issues, I don't know but really, you don't need to explain everything to me." I put my chin down on my arms as I crossed them over my knees and let the water cascade down for a moment. "Let's just be us, okay. Neither of us know how long we're going to be here. I mean I know I have to go home on Thursday, but, just for now, can't we just be here?"

"Yeah," he whispered and watched the corner of his lips turn up against the knuckle and he moved his head, placing his cheek there instead. "That I think we can do."

"Good." I closed my eyes, listened to my stomach rumble and heard his deep laugh. "Guess that means it's time to get out."

"You want me to leave?" He smiled boldly as I let the smile cross my lips and as much as I wanted to say no, he got the point and stood. "Alright, but don't say I didn't offer to stay and keep you company. Or, you know, help you get dressed."

"Yeah, well don't wander far, I might need it with these cuts." I laughed and watched him peek in on me, good thing I hadn't moved.

"What cuts?" The concern in his voice trumped everything else he was feeling as I pressed my hands against my breasts, covering them just below the spot where the slices started and I let my legs move a little, just enough for him to see the extent of the damage. He grabbed the towel off the rack, shut the shower off and handed it to me as he pushed the curtain aside. "Get dressed, leave your shirt off, cover up with this and I'll be back in a minute."

The stern tone of his voice and the angry look on his face made me pull my knees up as I accepted the towel but he had already turned and walked out by the time I stood up and started the process of drying off and hopping into my jeans. I took the towel, glanced between it and the bra and realized there would be little to no difference, so I slipped on the black, thin-strapped pull over, sat down and waited for him.

Sam knocked quietly again, opened the door and looked up to say something but he just stopped, looked at my state of undress and swallowed. I had brushed out my hair and pulled it back in a ponytail, letting him see the ones on my neck as well.

With a sigh, he rolled up a dry towel and placed it on the floor in front of me as he proceeded to kneel between my legs. I listened to him exhale and watched his hand come up slowly as if he were afraid to touch me, but his callous fingers were soft against my skin as he traced by each of the cuts, none serious enough for real stitches but he was looking for those that might have needed a butterfly.

He traced over the one that lay on the curve of my left breast, where it dipped into the space between them and I closed my eyes. I trusted him, I knew that now, I trusted him enough to let him touch me just like that and not go too far, and he didn't disappoint. He kept his touch almost feather soft and tender against every inch of the skin he caressed, but it was when he used two of his fingers to run over the ones on my neck, a few too close to the wrong spot, that I felt the goosebumps rise, and I let a little sigh slip.

"Sorry," he whispered and pulled his hand back. I smiled as I licked my lips, slowly opening my eyes as he sat back on his heels.

"I thought we talked about that." I whispered and watched him nod as he turned my arm, looking over the scratches and without a sound started to replace the butterflies that I had removed from it. Once it was completely patched up, he placed his hands on my thighs, right by my knees and his face went hard, void of emotion and I knew he was thinking about something. "What now?"

"Now?" He picked the shirt up that I had pulled out the bag and handed it to me. "Now you get dressed and we get you something to eat."

He didn't wait for a reply, he just walked out of the room with the first aid kit. I was just finishing with my shirt when I looked up to see Dean leaning against the doorsill, giving me a sly little smile. I walked over and stopped dead less than a foot from him, my hands tucked into my back pockets as he straightened and looked down at me.

He tilted his head just a little as he looked over my face, down at the cuts that were visible along the scoop-neck edge of my shirt and I watched him narrow his eyes, bite the inside of his cheek, which moved his lips ever so slightly and then he sighed.

"That was a stupid move," his voice was low, husky and just this side of scolding but I gave him a half-cocked smile as he closed the distance between us, wrapping the arm that was hidden inside the bathroom around my waist, slipping between the bend in my arm, his fingers drumming against the small of my back. I felt the heat from his body, the sweet scent of his cologne and the tang of the cigarette, light but still fairly fresh on his shirt.

"I've done a lot of stupid moves, Dean, wanna clarify?" He rolled his eyes, his lips parting in a sigh and he picked his head up to look at Sam and Danni.

"The one where you took on three vampires by yourself, what were you thinking?" I watched that gaze come back to me and I moved my left hand from my pocket, pressing it against his chest as I played with the button of his open cotton shirt.

"I really wasn't." I shrugged and focused on that button that was between my fingers.

"Yeah, I got that," he growled. "You need to be more careful."

"You need to be less of a control freak!" I smiled and looked up to meet his eyes.

"Yeah," he sighed, his breath against my skin for only a moment, and he looked away again, "well."

He let his hand slip from my waist as he moved past me, leaving a gentle kiss on my forehead as his face went hard. His walls went up, the same ones that Sam had fought with to let come down, but I could tell that Dean's ran deeper, there was a pain that he would never get past, no matter who he held in his arms, who he let in his heart, if he ever did.

I watched him walk away, scrap the floor with the metal chair as he turned it, and straddled it facing Sam across the table. Danni was next to him, her back once again to me and I watched Dean face her quickly. His brow creased as his eyes watched her lips and the expression on his face seemed full of surprise, but that's when his lips puckered in annoyance, he gave his eyes a little roll and he turned away from her.

What the hell could she be saying to him that would get that kind of response? It was the second time that Danni and Dean exchanged words that I knew of that got some sort of silent look from him and not much more. So what was she telling him that would keep him from responding?

Dinner, yep totally a thing and something I had forgotten completely about, but Danni reminded me as we managed to hop into her Escape and make the trek to her house, just around the corner and in complete visibility of the property the boys were currently occupying.

Danni stopped in the driveway, put the car in park and turned to look at me. I smiled as she stared, and then turned towards her, the worry on her face was telling me I was about to get the lecture of a lifetime.

"Now that we're away from your little fan-boys, we need to talk about something," she started and it was probably the most angry tone I had ever heard from her, which definitely caught my attention. "Vampires, there are real freaking vampires."

It was amazing how she could sound just like Dean at times, and add the expressions to it and that "son of a bitch" phrase was almost deadly.

"Yeah, the first time at the hotel, it didn't hit me but in the daylight, on the side of the road with my car, that was…scary as hell." I sighed and looked down at the bandage that peeked out from under my shirt, waited a moment and looked up at her. "This isn't going to ruin our week, you know that right?"

"I just watched you practically fall out of the backseat of an Impala, one that is supposed to be a show prop, looking like you were on your last leg and this isn't going to ruin our week?" She laughed and turned to me, a teasing look in her eyes. "Yeah, I guess picking up two strays could make it a bit more interesting."

"I thought you said Dean was the angry stray."

"Yeah, that was until I had to spend a 45 minute drive with Mr. Grunt-and-Groan who pitched a bitch-fit because you were in the other car and he couldn't call you." I shook my head, suddenly wanting to know everything she talked to him about, but she handed me the small device with the half-cracked screen. "You're mother called, twice."

I took it and held it up, pressed my finger to the glass and watched it light up. "Huh, I guess they make these vamp proof too." I shot a text out to both Kathy and the kids, knowing that if it was close to ten where we were, it was almost eleven there, but I let them know that I was alive, had a mishap with the phone and was replacing it in Tulsa tomorrow since there was no way to get the thing to call out. It lit up with replies and I smiled. "Well, the family at home knows I'm here as safe as I can be. Did you get my blade?"

She reached behind the seat and picked up the cloth wrapped knife. "You might want to clean it really well before using it again. It's coated in monster guts."

"And that whole phrase sounds perfectly normal, why?" I questioned, laughing and watched as she grabbed the handle to the car.

"Because you and I, sis, we're a couple of nutjobs!" I watched her giggle as she hopped out and followed suit.

Meeting Wayne wasn't as stressful as I thought it might have been, especially with the two men sitting up the road, but I watched Danni's eyes as she focused on her husband. He did ask a lot of very strange questions, mostly about the scratches on my arms, which I knew right away was off because I had the sleeves of the flannel shirt I wore rolled down and buttoned, covering them completely.

He sat back in the chair, eyes curiously going over every move I made but the way he looked at me, something about it was familiar and not in a good way. I had seen him on our Skype calls, and this was not the same man that I had spoken to numerous times. Danni was right, something was just a little off here and I wasn't sure just what.

She might have done them, I wasn't sure, but I was certainly going down the list. Did I notice the smell of sulfur, no, none was apparent in the room, but then again, the roast was cooking all day. Did he pass the holy water test, probably would have or maybe wouldn't have but I never got to figure it out because I didn't have any, which meant I needed to remedy that. I did however notice that he was using salt, which would have probably done something if he was possessed. Any of the rest of the signs weren't at all visible while we were sitting at the table but that didn't mean something supernatural wasn't going on.

Wayne excused himself after we had finished dessert, and Danni and I cleaned up, packing some of the food into containers, which she placed in a cooler by the sink. The big plan of bringing the boys dinner would be set in motion in the not too distant future, which meant some irrational pacing and a ramped up sense of needing to move.

But that was when I noticed the cats, they were all hiding, even as Danni called to them with offerings of meat. These were animals that came whenever we were on the phone, would circle the table like vultures whenever someone would sit at it and right then, at that very moment when food was freely offered, they were nowhere to be found.

What the hell was going on?

Before I knew it, I was well fed and sitting comfortably in "my" room, one that Danni had spent the last two months setting up for me but I couldn't help but look out the window and try to imagine what Sam, was doing, because I was positive that Dean had found anything he might need to give Baby a tune-up and a good wax job.

 _You need to be more cautious._ The angry man voice in my head scolded me as I watched the darkness. _Sam and Dean can only protect you as long as you stay close to them._

Way to reiterate the obvious voice man. I didn't even know where the thoughts were coming front, the strange little interruptions that filled my head, but I knew one thing, whoever my subconscious had dreamed up to be my voice of reason was right, I needed to be more on my toes, and needed to stay by the boys, especially with the strange events going on right inside Danni's house.

There was a knock on the door and I looked up as Danni stepped in, it wasn't closed, she could have entered without the invitation but still, she moved and sat on the bed next to me.

"Amazing how they sneak into our thoughts like that, isn't it?" She smiled, but all I did was sigh. Wild guess as to who I was thinking about, but she was right. "What's Sam's issue? The whole hot and cold deal?"

"Well, Jess for one, me kind of being a liability to them for the other. I mean, look what happened at the rest stop." I flipped the phone in my hand, wanting to text but stopping myself. "I don't know, I wish I was just a job to them. I mean I get that apparently I'm an enigma of some sort but these emotions that surround them both, they're pretty intense."

"So, now you're onto both?" She smiled and my eyes snapped up to hers. She was brushing it off as a joke but I knew she had a thing for our Dean.

I thought back to those ten minutes in the car, the ones that I had counted down in my head before we met back up with the boys. She had made a valid point when I told her I had no idea what Sam needed, and I wasn't talking about the reason for the conversation, and she understood that, but her reply was one that stuck in my head.

I had been invested in the show since the beginning, I had watched our Sam and Dean grow, fell "in love" as much as any fan could with the emotions that they went through, their pain, their losses and those few and far between moments when they were happy. I was a Sam-girl, as they called us, but hooked to both, though I favored one just a bit more than the other, and here I was standing in real life with a man that resembled him in every way except the hard nature of his feelings.

I had already established a connection with him, from the moment he knocked on that hotel room door, but I had also grown one with Dean and while that confused the hell out of me, she knew I would never give up on Sam.

I cleared my throat with a chuckle as I stared at her. "Dean, yeah, so not going there." I rubbed my face, the slight movement tugging on the cuts that graced my arms. "He's pretty freaking intense, more so than Sam and I'm not sure why he reacted the way he did at the stop, or even in the garage when I came out of the bathroom, but this thing between him and I, strictly platonic."

"You keep telling yourself that," she teased.

I knew she got my point, she was the Dean-girl, in fact that was how we said goodbye when we hung up, it was "Love ya, Sam" or "Love ya, Dean" and there were no two ways about who was who. I was the research computer geek with the background knowledge and she was the closet genius with the hair-trigger temper.

"We're going to have to make a trip back up there in a little bit, to you know, feed the animals." She winked and I grinned. "You ready for the next round with the Winchesters?"

"Yeah," I wanted to say 'not so much' but inside I was actually craving it. "Just let me know when we're headed out, not that I don't think Dean has his sights locked on this place, but it would be good to give them a heads up."

"Oh really, I would think that you'd want to walk in on Sam in the shower." Even as she said those words the images flashed through my mind and I rolled my eyes. Yeah, Sam half naked was hot as sin but the thought of those jeans gone from his body, ten times better and I felt the heat rush to my face. "Ah-huh, I thought so."

Danni and I walked quietly across the field, probably not the best idea when you have a nest of vampires after you, but then again, we weren't really caring about what might be going on. I didn't mention my worry about Wayne, or what I noticed about the cats, but I did know one things, we were in the open, flashlights in hand and nothing to hide behind as we made our way towards the garage. Probably not the best situation for what we had encountered in the last few days.

Just before we stepped onto the gravel not more than 30 feet from the entrance, the rolling door slid up and Dean stood there, his arms crossed with a disappointed look on his face. He narrowed his eyes at me as I passed but grumbled and shut the door behind us.

"Thought you had some smarts, Porter," the roughness brought out the irritation in his voice and I crossed my arms as I looked at me. I stood there, my eyes slowly drifting up from the bottom of his black boots to the way his jeans hugged his hips, slowly up past the way his tee-shirt tightened on his chest until I rested on his green eyes, which he rolled. "You done? Got a good look?"

"Well, you're still dressed, aren't you?" I shrugged and walked by, leaving him standing there with shock written across his face as Danni started laughing.

Glancing back over my shoulder, I watched as he shook his head and turned to follow us over to the table. Baby had been moved to another spot and the ground under her was still wet from the bath she had gotten. The table remained where he had set it but it was now graced with several empty beer bottles and one half empty bottle of Jack, but I was quick to notice the absence in the room as Dean helped himself to the food that Danni pulled out of the cooler.

"Where's Sam?" I asked and watched as Dean looked up, a mouthful of the roast that was heaped onto the plate he held.

"Making the rounds," he replied, or at least that was what I thought he had said. I watched the man with curiosity, knowing full well that he could feel my eyes on him as he sat down, grabbed the half-empty beer in front of him and took a swallow to wash down what was left before he looked at me from under his lashes. "He should be in any minute, Ali, just relax."

"I'm sorry, have we met?" I questioned and started towards the front door. I heard Dean sigh as the chair dragged against the concrete and there had to have been only about four steps of those boots before his hand was wrapped around my arm once again. He pulled me gently to a stop and I turned to gaze up in his direction. "Please don't give me a lecture, go eat your dinner."

"I wasn't going to lecture you," he whispered, leaning in close to my ear, and I closed my eyes as his breath brushed my skin, but that was when I heard the slide on his 1911 and I turned to look at him. In the little space between us, as we both looked down, heads justthisclose, I watched as he held out his gun, not just any gun, but HIS. He offered it grip first and I found myself reaching out for it with shaking hands. "You can't go after Sammy unarmed and I'm tired of telling you that, when I know that you're more than capable."

"Dean," I spoke softly and wrapped my hand around the cold ivory plates that adorned the grip, he slowly let his hand back away and I could feel the weight of it in my palm. The hand that had offered me the weapon brushed my cheek as we both continued to look down. "Thank you."

"Yeah, don't mention it," he replied but I could hear the smile in his voice as he picked his head up and got close to my ear once more. "Watch the kickback on it, it might send you flying."

With that he turned and walked back towards the table, leaving me to watch after him and to see the smile on Danni's face. She knew it was a huge step in trust for him to not only give me a gun, but his gun, the one he would never part with and I took a deep breath before continuing towards the door.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The night air had turned electric and I could feel the hair on my arms begin to prickle. A storm was brewing and with no lightning in the sky yet, I couldn't quite pinpoint where, but I pulled the flashlight from my pocket and clicked it on. Lighting up the walkway in front of me, I held the gun with the barrel pointed to the ground but remembered that Dean had chambered a round so I had to be very careful with the safety.

Guns didn't really make me nervous, I mean I had fired them off before, a lot of times actually, but being that this was Dean's gun and I had been warned about the kickback, I was a little shaky on using it. I wanted to yell out for Sam, to just call to him and figure out what direction he had gone in, but the current in the air didn't just have the hair on my arms up, it also had my heart racing.

I tried to breathe through the anxiety that raced around my system, heightening the sense of danger that surrounded me, because at that point, I knew it was all in my head. The fact that I had been ambushed not once but twice while out in the open was in the forefront of my thoughts and I didn't want to be that helpless again, no matter what Dean thought I was capable of.

I turned the corner, ready to act but there was nothing but the darkness as I stood straight, let my body relax and lowered the gun by my side, my trigger finger far…far away from that one little sweet spot on the gun. With as quiet as a release that I could get, I let the breath flow from my lungs and I slowly lifted the flashlight to scan the area.

The kick of the gravel behind me had me twirling in my spot, but I resisted bringing the gun up incase Sam was the one that stood behind me, but there was nothing but the empty space between the house and the garage. My heartbeat quickened, but my hands remained surprisingly steady. I refused to be scared, but anxious was something I found I had little control over.

"Al?" Sam's voice questioned and slowly I turned to look at him as he stepped out from the darkness behind me. He looked down from the flashlight to the gun that shined against the beams and he automatically raised his hands. "What are you doing out here?"

I watched him take a curious step forward, full of caution and that was when I heard it, the slight whisper of Latin that slipped from his mouth. I turned the gun skillfully in my hand so that I was holding the barrel as the distance between us faded and I honed in on the words he was saying.

When I was finally able to interrupt, he was standing less than two feet from me, not even enough of a length for me to get the gun up and fire without missing.

"Sam," I smiled, "te rogamus, audi nos."

"You're right," he said and let his shoulders relax as he held his hand out for the gun, "you're Latin is just as good as you're Enochian." I narrowed my eyes at him and gave a little shake before I placed the grip in his palm.

"How do you even know what my Enochian sounds like?" I grumbled as a tight smile formed across his lips.

"Well, you said you know it as well as you know your Latin, and honestly, it could use some work." I just wanted to slap him, but he was right, I hadn't majored in any kind of Latin and I didn't have an angel to help me with my pronunciation, so I just watched as he made sure the gun was safe before he tucked it away. He stuffed his hands in his pockets once the gun disappeared and he looked down at me with a sigh. "Do you want me to pull a Dean?"

"Meaning do I want you to be an asshole and tell me how dangerous it is for me to be outside walking around with a gun I can't use looking for a man I'm not sure I can have?" I contemplated for a moment as he let the words sink in and watched me shake my head. "No, I think I got your brother down and I don't need a repeat lecture from you."

"Man you can't have?" He gave me a fake grin, but it didn't reach his eyes, and I flicked off the flashlight, stuffing it and my hands into my pocket. Sam reached out, flicked at the knife at my side so that the nylon sheath hit my leg. "Did you clean it?"

"Yeah, it's all de-gored and sanitized." I watched as the side of his lip turned up.

"Come on, let's get you inside, some sort of storm is coming, I can feel it."

Sam stepped up to me, but I didn't move, I wasn't sure EXACTLY why I didn't, but I just kept my feet planted as he closed the distance. For a moment, I stared up at him, let it really sink in that this man, though he resembled the Sam I had watched grow, was his own person. I looked at the hard lines of his face, the purple that dotted under his eyes, the way those eyes stared at everything with a stern anger, a mistrust, and even his stance reflected how on edge he was, how he never let his guard down except for that one miniscule amount of time when he looked at me like THAT!

The blue-green oceans that locked me into a battle I couldn't win filled with emotions, want, need, clarity, and just a hint of kicking himself in the ass for everything he was feeling, but that jaw set and those eyes went cold as he looked away. HE looked AWAY. His hand reached out, cupped my shoulder as he turned me around, and the two of us walked, not touching and in silence back to the door. I heard him sigh, like he wasn't ready for what Dean would say, or how he would be but that lasted all of a second when he heard his name.

"SAMMY!" Dean screamed and Sam's grasp on the door came with a hard yank as it nearly swung completely open. The two of us rushed in and stopped halfway across the floor as we spotted Dean sitting at the table, staring in either complete disgust or about to have a heart attack.

"Dean?" Sam questioned, but there was a little softness in the way he said his brother's name and he moved closer. I watched the way Danni smiled, in fact she was silently laughing as Dean held my tablet in his hands, about five inches bigger than the cell phone I had handed him before and I looked at her questioningly. "What's going on?"

"We're a couple of pansies, that's what's going on!" Dean snapped and now I was curious enough to move my feet. "What the hell is a Padaleski?"

"Padalecki." I smiled and stepped up as Sam took the tablet and pressed play on the device. It was the latest con video from Seattle and I watched as Sam's face went sour. Shit, I thought to myself and after a moment of complete disregard for the fact that this man could bend me in half, I snatched the tablet away, I had watched that panel and I knew what was coming next. "Okay, enough of conventions!"

"What the hell, Ali?" Danni said, which made me turn to look at her, but all I could do is shake my head. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I cleared my throat, "peachy. I was just thinking about Jim, and how we should probably check in on him."

"What?"

"Beaver." I replied and watched her eyes open wide as I handed her back the tablet. Seattle was the last place that the actor who portrayed Bobby on screen had been set to make an appearance and with what they had told me, the visual of how they found him, I was pretty sure that seeing Jim onstage, an older, wiser version of the man that they couldn't find, would set both off on a spiral.

"Oh, yeah, um, let me get right on that." Danni quickly stood and made her way over to towards the front of the car as she played with the device, but it was Dean, who sat forward at the table, elbows and forearms resting on it, with narrowed eyes as he looked my face over, that made me feel uneasy.

"Wanna tell me what that was about?" His voice, just as hard as his eyes, made me give a noticeable shiver but I only shook my head. I watched as he sat back and pushed the chair away from the table, a motion that made me jump at the noise and I locked my eyes on him as he moved around to stand in front of me, within arm's length. "Say I believe everything you told me about this show, about the people who played us, say I get that you know everyone we've ever come in contact with…"

"Not everyone." I growled through my teeth, not so sure why I was on the defensive, but Dean raised his hand, his finger alone silencing me.

"Say I trust that you wouldn't lie to me, not now that the truth is out there," I waited for the rest of his speech as I caught Sam's movement out of the corner of my eyes as he moved around and handed Dean the gun. So, yeah, I felt so totally safe at that moment, give the angry man a weapon, way to go Sam! "Why would you clam up at a simple video?"

"Why do we do anything we do?" I answered, trying my hardest to avoid the question, but Dean shook his head. The man could snap me like a twig and here I was keeping something from him.

"Not exactly the answer I was looking for," he pushed away from the table closing the distance, and while the storm outside was brewing, I could feel the one in here start to rage. "What are you hiding?"

"Do I look like I have any qualms about telling you how much of an ass you can be?" I snapped back and watched Danni's attention draw towards us. "Do I seem to have an issue voicing my opinion about how much I don't want you hovering over my shoulder at every turn? About how I think this whole deal is a bunch of crap because, come on, vampires? And yeah, I get that they're real, and I get that they're coming for me but I'm not the idiot that grabbed a tablet and started Googling myself!"

"You're pushing it," he snarled through clenched teeth.

I leaned forward, locking my eyes with him. The anger inside me was coming to the surface and even though I didn't want to hurt him, I just couldn't stop the words from coming out.

"I haven't touched on pushing it yet, Winchester!" I barked back and felt Danni's hand on my arm. I knew it was her because I could see Sam standing there, his arms crossed his expression blank but ready for action just like his brother. "Stay or go, to me it doesn't matter, it's your choice. I never asked for your protection, I think we covered that before. I didn't ask for you to become an overbearing, angry, Son of a Bitch with a black knight-in-shining-chrome complex, and I certainly didn't ask to have to explain every little freaking detail of my thoughts. So, you, Dean Winchester, can go screw yourself."

I turned away, ripping my arm from Danni's grasp as I marched back toward the door, letting it slam behind me as I walked away. Not all that sure of what I had just done, not even remotely aware of where those words had come from, but the anger that I felt, the frustration was too much and I had to walk away.

Dean Winchester, the most infuriating man I have ever met, was in my thoughts no matter how much I paced. He had such a flip-flop personality that sometime I felt like I was getting whiplash just watching the way the emotions changed in his eyes. So why was I thinking about him, why was I so concerned that I had not only shaken the hornet's nest but hurt the man, _again_ , in the process?

I had told him once that on any other given day, I would have kept them both, but now it felt like I just needed them gone. I wasn't prepared for the emotions that came with the Winchesters, I wasn't remotely ready for anything that my brain and my heart needed from them, and not just one, but them both and not in the same way.

I needed Dean's strength, his protective side, his gentleness when it came out. The way he held me close when he wanted to check on me, and the way he whispered in my ear, but I needed Sam for all those reasons and more.

That one, that man, there was so many feelings that he drew from me that I couldn't blink and register one before the other was pulling at me in the opposite direction. I wanted his touch, his kiss, the way his fingers felt tracing my skin, the urgency in his words and in his actions. I needed that control, the one that I had seen slip more than once in my presence and I needed it to let go, needed him to just release its hold.

UGH! Stupid freaking Winchesters!

I heard the door open, I heard Danni's voice as she snapped. "I swear to God if she's somewhere hurting, I will have you by the balls!"

"You know, between the two of you," Dean spoke up, his boots hitting the gravel hard, "I think I've had about a many threats as I'd like to take. Let's just find her and straighten this out."

 _You should go back to them, Ali._ I shook my head at the voice, what would he know, he was only in my head. _Something is close, I can sense it._

 _You go back with them, voice man, I'm just going to stay out here for a little bit._ My inner voice responded and this gave me pause. Why was I responding to the voices in my head?

I ducked between some cars, not ready to be found, but the thump of my heart had my adrenaline going. I heard another set of boots as the door slammed shut. Hell, if they really wanted the nest to know where we were hiding, I'm sure that would be a pretty clear sign.

"She drives me insane!" Sam growled as his voice joined the others. "Sometimes I'm not sure if I want to strangle her or…" I listened to him stop, both his words and his feet and the image I got was Dean giving him a sly smile. "Not funny Dean."

"Kind of funny, Sam." The older one teased but that didn't take the edge off his voice, the one filled with a "when I find her" kind of tone. "We're gonna have to split up to find her, there's too much to search if we stick together."

"I'll go with you," Danni immediate snapped and I knew that she was giving Sam the eyes, you know, those "if we were alone, I'd shank you" kind of eyes.

Dean grumbled, which echoed through the tunnel that the house and garage created, loud enough so that I could hear him, and as much as I wanted to smile, I let it slide as I stepped away from the car I was leaning on and headed out towards the side of the out buildings that surrounded the driveway.

What the hell was I thinking? But then again, I really wasn't, I just needed to get away, to put some distance between me and these feelings. Apparently, against my better judgment, it was becoming a game, one that I wasn't sure I wanted to play, because I heard Sam's footsteps in my direction.

I wanted it to be more of a challenge, more than just an "I'll just wait here then" moment but I was running out of spots to hide unless I backtracked towards the garage door, but then again, I had no idea what way Dean and Danni had gone.

I ducked down as I moved, hoping my lack of height might make up for the fact that even though my footsteps were as silent as I could possibly get, I was terrible at hide and seek. I thought I had all my bases covered, all of the ways that Sam could sneak up on me were in my line of sight, but somehow, he slipped through, somehow he got past my defenses.

I was up against as wall before I knew what hit me and the breath left my lungs with a whoosh. Sam's body was pressed hard to mine, locking me in place as his large hands bunched my shirt between them and I looked up, half startled, half pissed off and felt those hand release the cloth, only to make their way to my hips, catching my waist with an almost bruising possession.

"Let me go, Sam!" I hissed through clenched teeth and reached out to push at his chest.

"Why are you so damned infuriating?" He questioned back as he leaned down, his forehead touching mine as he stayed, locking me there and I felt his leg snake between mine, applying pressure to the heat between them. A strange surge of pleasure raced through me and I cursed the noise he got from it. "Do you know what you do to me?"

"Tie you up in knots," I laughed and felt his leg press in on me again. I rolled my eyes as I let my head fall back against the wall. The boy was just giving enough pressure, and his hands hadn't even moved. I felt him lean down his mouth bushing the lobe of my ear as his breath sent shivers down my spine.

"I don't want to hurt you," his whisper was made up of shaky breaths and growled words and I felt my heart jump, "but I need you."

"And if I said you can't have me?" I gave a gentle push on his ribs, just above the cut, the one thing I hadn't looked at in a few hours, but the moan, almost one of pleasure and pain mixed slipped from him as his tongue flicked out against my ear. Dammit! Resist! Resist! Yeah, I could keep telling myself that, especially as his lips trailed across my cheek and stopped a breath away from my own. "Sam…"

I was going to say something, I really was, but he pressed at me again, his hand running from my waist to the side of my neck and back to tangle gently in my hair. I knew what he was doing, finding something to grasp onto while fear and panic tried to take over, something he wasn't used to, but they were feelings he knew too well.

He brushed against my mouth with just the faintest of passes, just enough so that I shook in his arms, feeling the one on my hips lower to the small of my back, along the seam of my jeans where it dipped and curved. If this was going to happen every time we were together, I wasn't sure how long I would last before I gave into everything he needed and everything I wanted.

He lifted me, as if I were the lightest thing in the world and I let my legs wrap around his waist. I heard the grunt of pain as I hit those stitches but along with the grunt came the growl as if the pain was something he enjoyed and against my better judgment, I tested that theory. My hand moved from his chest, glided up to grasp his hair and as I gave it just a little yank, not sure if I was pulling him away or moving him closer, his lips crashed down on mine, claiming as he used the wall and his strength to hold me up.

I could feel him moving, rubbing along the insides of my thighs, and I wrapped around him the best I could as his mouth did amazing things. I was lost in the feelings, the starbursts behind my eyes, the way that my body felt against his, as he pressed harder as if that would get him any closer. But the sound that came from behind him had those lips ripped away from me. His head turned, his eyes a cold sea of anger and protection and he released my hair, bracing himself against the wall as if to silently let me know it was time to let go.

I unhooked my legs and slid down the length of him until my feet touched the ground and his hand, spread wide, spanned my back. He was still, his breathing, though moments before seemed to be rushed and frantic, was now silent and even. I watched as they scanned the area, listening with such intent that I thought for sure he was about to jump out of his skin, but instead of stepping back to look, he stepped closer to protect.

His hair, those brown locks that curved over his ears when he wanted to push them back, fell forward against his face, hiding his expression, making him look even more dangerous than he already was. In a flash, as if he were a whirl of light, I felt his heat leave, his body twirl and his arm, the one that was against my back was now a fist, swinging with such force that whatever it connected without instantly be grounded.

It never came to that, never made contact with the man who stood behind him. Dean glared at his brother, a stoic look on his face as his eyes glared at Sam. Danni was right behind him, a hand resting gently on Dean's arm as the older brother stood with his hands buried deep in his jean pockets, an open invitation for Sam to finish his swing, but the younger brother only held his stance. And suddenly, I could hear the short breaths that burst through his nose, like a bull ready to charge.

"You done?" Dean growled and Sam slowly lowered his arm, his fist still clenched as Dean looked past me. "Both of you? You done playing house? Because there's something you have to see if you don't mind the interruption in your playtime."

Sam glanced at me, his fingers started to uncurl as he swallowed hard, his jaw still set and he looked back at his brother, only giving him a nod.

"Good," with that, Dean headed away from us. Danni not far behind but giving me a concerned look.

Sam found my hand, the one that had been so tied up in his hair that I could almost feel the strains of hair that had tangled around my fingers. Without a word, whether still fuming from the interruption or reeling from the feelings of the whole incident, Sam never said a thing as we walked, but he never released his hold either.

When we stopped at the edge of the light, where the house met the rest of the world, beyond the point where you could spot Danni's house without aid, Dean came to a complete stop and shined the flashlight on the ground. Sam stepped up beside him, with me not far behind and I felt Danni's hand on my shoulder, as if bracing me for something I really didn't want to see.

The trail from the light moved out from the tip of his boots and further, following the dark line of blood that contrasted against the brown grass that was just now starting to turn green. I felt Sam's fingers tighten around mine as he tugged me closer, just instinctively protecting me but I also could make out the way his chest grew as he drew in a deep breath.

"Blood," he whispered and that caught my attention. Yeah, you could smell the cooper scent in the air as the flashlight finally fell on the source. Not more than fifteen feet away lay the large mass of an animal, coated in blood and bite marks.

I released Sam's hand, something he attempted to pull me back from as I stepped forward, following that light. I heard the click of a gun, knowing it was Danni's from the direction of the sound and then suddenly I heard the slide of two more snapping into place. I was the only one unarmed and here I thought it was a good idea to walk up to whatever mangled mess the vampires wanted to leave.

It wasn't a horse, at least not that I could see in the dark, but another large animal. Cow, maybe, but not one of Danni's. With a deep breath, I stepped backwards, running into the wall behind me and an arm that found its way around my waist. Just by the scent in the air, I knew who was holding me and I shivered because of all the nasty things I had said to him, Dean was still at my back, still protecting me, and I knew right then, no matter the words we exchanged, that would never change.

"This," his breath was against my ear, low and full of warning, "this is why I try to keep you close." His words were just this side of audible, not loud enough for Sam or Danni to hear as his free hand came around, the gun still at the ready and I imagine his eyes were scanning the darkness. "This is why, because if anything happened to you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Do you understand?" I nodded, feeling the scruff of his five o'clock shadow scrape against my cheek. "Good! Come on, we need to get inside."

He took my hand, his fingers knotting with mine as he tugged me away from the animal and passed his brother. I glanced up at Sam's face, apparently unfazed by the way his brother lead me, as the younger of the two men still stared at the corpse that lay in the field. I shot a look to Danni, who reached out to touch Sam's arm. With a huff, he snapped away from her touch, turned and followed suit, making sure with only his eyes, that Danni was following along.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Once inside the building, I watched as Dean dropped my hand and the two of them began to make sure the place was locked down. Danni came to stand by me as the two of us watched Dean pop the trunk and begin to hand Sam weapons, lots of weapons and I recognized the black, rolled, leather pouch. Needles filled with the same dead man's blood that the Mason jar had in it, and I shivered as I watched Dean place it on the table.

He stopped in front of me, as I watched Sam move effortlessly around the building doing something that looked like wards, but at the same time I had never seen warding against vampires. Dean cleared his throat, bringing my eyes back to focus on him and not his baby brother. He grabbed my hand, a little rough this time, and placed the grip of a small Walther in my palm.

"I assume you know how to use this," he said with snark and the anger from our earlier conversation came flashing back, but I bit my tongue. "Good, from now on you're not to go anywhere without it," he put two full mags in my other hand. "Aim for the head, anywhere else won't do a thing."

"Oh trust me, I'm not aiming anywhere else," I snapped and heard him growl, deep in his throat as he took my arm, wrapped his fingers gently around it and tugged me over to the chair. With just a little force, one that caught the attention of Sam, Dean literally sat me down on the seat and pulled his own closer. I watched him sit with his legs apart, his elbows on his knees and he leaned forward to look up at me, searching my face with his eyes. "What the hell could I have possibly done to piss you off now?"

"You haven't done anything, okay," he replied, as his hand came up and his eyes half closed, hoping to avoid an argument. "I know what happened earlier is, well, it's probably my fault but listen, right now I just need to know some things. I need you to be honest with me and just answer the damned questions."

"Fine." I replied and placed the gun on the table as Sam walked around to grab the chair directly in my line of sight, and Danni the one behind me. "What do you want to know?"

"I need to know exactly what kind of information you have on vampires." I raised my eyebrow at this and shook my head.

"I know a lot about them, do you want show or lore?" He gave me a snort, but not as loud and his lips turned up in a grin.

"Tell me what the show taught you."

"Vampires can only be killed by cutting off their heads, dead man's blood can slow them down, poison them if there's enough but only a Red Queen move is going to end them. No stake through the heart, no garlic, no holy water or crosses. That stuff doesn't work." I shrugged, Dean braced his hand on his knee and used it to turn and look at Sam, who gave him an approving gesture and Dean turned his sights back to me. "But," I sat forward myself, searching Dean's face. "Sam was putting up warding, he was using some kind of magic to seal this place. That never came up, what was he doing?"

"Wow," Sam grinned and leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms, looking a little impressed. "How did you know I was warding?"

"Old magic," I shrugged and watched him move to put his elbows on the table. "I know a witch that knows a witch," I answered and looked at Dean, whose eyes grew dark, "and we can leave that at that."

"Okay, so there's a little more that we can do against vampires than just the slice and dice," he answered but didn't give up any information. "What about the lore?"

"Vampires have been around for thousands of years, in one shape or form, way before Dracula, way before the formation of the church, and the Catholic and Christian religion. Vampires go back…to the beginning," I paused and watched as Dean sat back just a little bit. Danni smiled when I looked in her direction, encouraging me to go on. "It's the reason that the holy water and crosses don't work, they're just symbols. I mean they thought if the person turned was devout that they would work but that's not it. They don't work because it doesn't do anything to the chemical makeup of the monster. Dead man's blood, that's been a myth forever, never drink the last drop, they only take from the living because the virus, or what they think was a virus could only be passed through living cells. It's what the vampire craves, human red blood cells, that's why they go for the lives ones."

"What about the lore on how you change?" Dean's voice seemed to trigger everything I had ever read on the subject and I found myself getting pulled into my memories, the childhood terror of having someone standing over my dog, of it jerking as whatever it was fed from it and I lifted my head.

"It's transferred through the blood to blood contact, a bite from a werewolf will make you change into one, but from a vampire, the end result is always the same, the exchange of blood. That's how the virus spreads. Once in contact with human blood, it mutates the healthy cells into that of the virus, taking over the body like a cancer, manipulating it so that there isn't anything human left." Sam gave me a "huh" from behind his brother but it was Dean's green eyes, the ones that were now searching me, taking in everything I said, that I was locked into. "You can be bitten, you can certainly die from it, but you're not becoming one unless the vamp gets it into your system and saliva doesn't transmit the way that blood does. Sunlight doesn't hurt it because, hello, unless you're full of gasoline, you're not going to spontaneously combust, and while they may tend to stay inside during the day, it's because the eyes never really adjust to the change, so the pupils don't constrict or dilate which mean the sun literally hurts."

"How do you know all of this?" Dean whispered, leaning forward once again. The image flashed back to the forefront, and I let myself visibly shake, watching Dean's hand suddenly reached out and touched my leg. "Hey, Ali?" he questioned, that voice striking a chord in me and I blinked back the memories. "Easy, Kid, you don't have to answer."

"Research," I stated and stood, moving away from his hand, putting the chair between us as I braced my fingers on the cold steel of the back of it. "That's all, I was obsessed as a kid, I just needed to know about them."

"Yeah," he replied, standing as he licked his lips, but I could tell that he saw under my lie, "I get it. I used to have an unhealthy obsession with angels, but like you, it's not a subject I want to talk about."

"I'm glad you understand." I knew he really didn't but he also knew that if he started to drill me about the vampires, I was going to start questioning about Cas and that was one subject neither one of us wanted to bring up. "We really need to get some sleep, we're supposed to go out towards Tulsa tomorrow."

"Tulsa?" Sam questioned and looked back and forth between Danni and I, "what's in Tulsa?"

I shrugged, and looked towards Danni, who smiled and shrugged as well. "Girls shopping day." She replied and we both smiled as Sam rolled his eyes.

"Wait, you're going to still go?" Dean questioned, his eyes on Danni.

"Hell yes, we're still going!" She smiled and I watched Dean roll his eyes. I could almost see the budding friendship between the two older siblings…well when they weren't looking at each other like they were going to strangle the other. "Listen, you're more than welcome to tag along, if that's what you need to do to make sure Ali and Sammy are safe."

"Don't call me that." Sam growled from the table and I couldn't help the smile that formed on my lips at his aggravation. She was doing it to get a rise out of him, but I watched his eyes land on me and he gave me a wink.

"ANYway!" Danni stated sarcastically, "if you want to keep Ali and SAM safe, you're just going to have to come along for the ride."

Dean grumbled as he shook his head in disapproval but turned to look at Sam, who just shrugged his shoulders. "Well, if we're gonna go along, you're right, we're all going to need some kind of shut eye."

Sam stood from the table, picked up the gun that Dean had given me and walked over to stand by my side. Danni grinned and watched the way that he placed his hand softly against the small of my back, like he was guarding me and that was when I turned.

"Hey," I whispered and watched him look down, "I need to check that bandage again."

"Oh, is that code for something now?" Dean teased and smiled as he started to straighten up the mess of the beer cans.

"No, you ass!" I barked and watched him grin wider, "I'm worried he might have…when we were…" I stopped and let a breath out, grabbed Sam by the wrist and pulled at him. "Come on."

I purposely left the bathroom door open this time as I tugged him in and pushed him against the wall. Sam closed his eyes and put his head back as I grabbed the end of his shirt and lifted it up just past the bandages. His hands were up, as if he were afraid to touch me, which might have been exactly what I was hoping for but he knew the moment he did, our night of shut eye might be completely thwarted.

"Have I ever told you that you're a pain in my ass?" I questioned as I pulled at the tape, happy that I had left the kit in the bathroom for just such and occasion.

"No, but I think I could tell." He smiled as his words came out in between the tugs on the tape. "Al, I'm fine."

"And you're not a very good liar, especially for someone in your line of work." I looked up at him as I gently peeled the gauze away. As expected, my legs around him had done some damage but not enough to rip open a stitch. "How is it that you're not in jail yet?"

"A very long run of bad luck." He groaned as I found a soft towel, wet it with warm water and gently washed over it. "I need to take a shower."

"You can't with these stitches." I replied , and stopped for a moment, "unless they're covered."

I stepped out of the bathroom, made my way towards one of the desks in the room and searched for something that I had spotted earlier. A plastic envelope. When I returned, I had managed to fold it so that it fit over the stitches but he smiled at the new silver bracelet I wore.

"Is that duct tape?" He laughed, as I pulled a strip from it.

"Yep, you know silence is golden, but duct tape is silver," I stated, placing it against his skin, "and it's waterproof."

"So, shower and then what? Can I call you to put the bandage back on?" I stopped and looked up at him.

"Are you sleeping in Baby?" he creased his brows a little confused but nodded. "When you're done, just dry off and let it air, I'll put a new one on in the morning."

I pulled his shirt down and went to move away but the soft caress of his hand on my neck had me looking up at him once more. I smiled as I stepped closer and put my hands on his chest and his arms wrapped snugly around me.

"I'm not going to kiss you," he whispered, leaning down so that his lips were against my forehead. "If I do, I'm not going to let you go, so I'm just going to do this for now." He pulled me in letting me feel the heat from his body, the mixture of his cologne and body wash that I remembered from the jacket and I closed my eyes.

"You two love birds done in there?" Dean hollered as he peeked in and I felt Sam release me. Leave it to him to ruin a perfectly good hug. I turned and looked at the older brother, whose brow was up and he was smiling like a devil before he clapped his hands in front of himself. "We gotta get going if you think you're going to Tulsa tomorrow."

"Yeah, fine, whatever!" I grumbled and walked by him, slapping him lightly on the stomach with the back of my hand. I heard Dean give out a quick breath but the sounds of his boots followed me towards where Danni was standing. I rolled my eyes as she smiled and snatched the gun from the table, tucking it in the belt behind my back. This got Dean to stop and I glanced over my shoulder as his eyes moved from the way the gun pressed against my lower back up to my eyes. "You done? Get a good look?"

He smiled as I repeated his words to him and he slowed down as he walked by me just to repeat what I had said to him. "Well, you're still dressed, aren't you?"

The smile that crossed my face was a bit too big and I shook my head as Sam also gave me a grin. What a weird dynamic but hey, it was all in fun. Dean came back around stuffing something from the trunk of the Impala in his pockets as he made sure to grab the mags that I had set on the table next to the gun and hand them back to me.

"Put them in your pocket like a good girl," he stated dryly as he winked.

"Can I just shoot you in the foot or something?" I questioned, completely serious, and he raised a finger as if to start a lecture but that finger came down and he looked me straight in the eyes.

"No!" he put it bluntly as he grabbed the cooler off the table that Danni had brought the food up in. "I'm going to walk you down. Sammy, lock this place down."

I glanced back at Sam as Danni looped her arm around mine and I watched the strange fear in his eyes. I wasn't sure what was making him more upset, the way we were leaving, or the fact that we were leaving at all. He didn't wave, not that I thought he would but he didn't move from that spot until Dean, Danni and I were almost to the grass, 30 feet from the back of the building, and then I heard the door slide down with a loud metallic thump.

Dean was only a few feet in front of us, his flashlight trained on the ground but his gun was drawn and at the ready as he kept his eyes wide open for anything that might try to attack, but everything was quiet, too quiet.

"Do you hear that?" I questioned, whispering to Danni who was right beside me, her hand on the gun holster by her side. She looked at me, listened above the noise of our footsteps and shook her head. "Exactly, where are the frogs?"

"What are you going on about?" Dean questioned, slowly his steps so that we caught up with him. He looked down at me as I raised my brows and then he glanced at Danni. "What is she talking about?"

"The peepers," Danni smiled, and I turned to look at them because they now they both probably think I'm nuts.

I let out a breath, but both hands on my hips and turned to face both of them. "You don't find it weird that there is nothing out here? Like literally nothing, where are the bugs, the frogs, hell, the horses are quiet? Does that not send smoke signals up about something not being right?" I watched them both look at me. "No, nothing, you both got nothing?" I watched the blank looks, threw my hands in the air and started to walk towards the house again. "Okay, never mind."

"Ali, wait!" Dean laughed as he and Danni fought to catch up but when he finally did, his hand went to my neck instead of my arm this time and I felt his fingers curl against my skin. "I get the frog thing, I do but it doesn't mean anything is really wrong."

"Really?" I stopped and glanced up at him. "Let me know the last time you didn't use the creatures around you to tell you something wasn't right?" Dean stopped for a moment, he knew what I was talking about, the way you could tell if there was a predator near, especially a supernatural one, "everything scatters."

"Okay, okay, don't freak yourself out, let's just get you inside."

"This happens before a storm or a tornado too," Danni added which made me whip around to look at her. There was something in her face, almost like a lie but not quite, and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Oh, way to make me feel, like, a thousand times better because what is more deadly than vampires? Freaking tornadoes!"

I felt panicked and started to shake, maybe it was the storm, or maybe I was just ramping myself up, but I felt Dean's arms come around my waist and then up more around my shoulder as he kept his hand on my neck. Why was this hard ass always freaking hugging me? But, at the same time, there was a feeling of being safe when he did it so I just decided to let go and my arms slipped inside the hunter's layers he wore, finding the thinnest part of his wardrobe, a light black tee-shirt and I buried my head against his chest.

"Come on, Kid, we're almost there." He mumbled against my hair and I felt him step in the direction of the house.

Danni's hand came around and took mine as I became book ended between the two, both holding onto my hands. Dean stopped us on the porch and I watched him tuck the gun into his belt, before digging into the pocket of his coat. He held his hand out to each of us and I looked at the small bag that was in the palm of my hand.

"Witchcraft?" I questioned and he did a double take when I said it.

"It's a protection spell." He answered with an attitude. "Listen, if we can't be here, just make sure you stick these in your pajama pants.

"What if you don't wear pajamas?" Danni smiled and I had never seen the blush rise so fast on a man before as his eyes, just his eyes moved in her direction and he looked her over from head to toe and back before he cleared his throat. "What? It's an honest question."

Dean grabbed hers back, untied the string and placed it over her neck like a necklace before he shifted uneasily and focused on me.

"Need me to do that to you too?" He inquired.

"You're kidding right? After you're brother crashed through my window like that, I'm never sleeping naked again." Dean rolled his eyes in annoyance and looked directly at me.

"Just keep it on you, I don't care how, I don't want to know how, but don't go anywhere without it."

"So we have anti-vampire charms now?" I listened to him growl as I went to open the bag and look inside but he put his hand over mine, making sure that I stopped and took the time to look at him.

"Promise me you're not going to do anything stupid," his voice was low and demanding.

"I promise if I plan on doing anything stupid, I'll tell you first." I replied, pulled the string on the bag closed and stuffed it into my pocket. Looking down at where my hand had gone, he reached out and snatched one of the mags from my jeans. Holding it up so that I could see it, shook it a little.

"These are vamp bullets," I looked at Danni.

"Oh so not only do you have witch killing bullets but now you have vamp ones too?" I questioned and watched as he looked at me with a bit of shock. "Didn't think I knew about the witch ones, did you?"

"I keep forgetting you know more about our jobs than most people," he said as he roughly pushed the mag back in my pocket. "It's all a little weird, okay?"

"Dean," I put my hand on his left cheek and let my thumb run along that white scar, his eyelids closed as if the feeling of it being touched was new to him. "We'll be fine, just go back up with Sam and be safe. We've got this covered."

"Yeah, my little vamp hunter in training," he snorted and leaned in quickly, kissing me on the forehead before he turned and disappeared into the night, never bothering to turn on the flashlight.

I watched him go as Danni stepped up beside me, the cooler in hand and we both watched his silhouette in the darkness.

"You going to be okay?"

"I would be much better if people stopped asking me that, but yes, I'll be fine." I smiled at her and watched as she gave me just that look.

"Ah-huh," was her only reaction and she opened the door to the house, gesturing me to come inside. With one last look at the back side of Dean as he disappeared across the field, I stepped into the safety of the house, his little protection bag tightly in my hand.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The sun was shining in through the light curtain that blocked the window and I turned over, grumbled and reached for the phone that vibrated on the bed beside me, the light sound of Kaleo's "Way Down We Go" created the mood for the next second, the mood of someone is going to hell for waking me up. I put the phone to my ear, put my arm over my eyes and pressed the accept button.

"This better be good," I groaned.

"Wow," I could hear Sam smiling over the line.

"Wow? You wake me up at six…" I glanced at the time, "six in the morning and all you can say is wow?"

"Actually, I was referring to how sexy your voice was when you wake up." I felt the heat rush to my face as I sat there in silence for a minute. "I was calling to see if you were…"

"If you say "okay" I'm going to scream," I growled and rolled my eyes.

"Awake enough for coffee." Sam finished and I let my breath go.

"Sorry, the whole Mother Hen thing bothers the crap out of me, and being constantly asked if I'm good, that bothers me more." I cleared my throat and rolled over onto my side. "What are you doing up so early anyway? We left there at midnight."

"Dean took the first shift, I slept until three, he's asleep now."

"Three hours, Sam, go back to bed."

"I can't." And that made me roll my eyes. Can't was another word I was getting tired of hearing.

"Why not? It's daylight, morning actually, the vamps would be in too much pain to come out and start crap now, just go curl up in the car."

"I can't because you're not here." His voice was soft, as if it had taken a lot of effort to get that out and I smiled as I listened to him.

"I can come up, is that why you're asking about coffee?" I sat up slowly in the bed, felt the bag that Dean had given me still tucked in my pocket and looked out the window at the figure that stood by the edge of the grass, dark against the light blue building. It was Sam, I could make out the way he stood, one hand up to the phone he was holding and the other stuffed in the pocket of his dark blue jeans. "You haven't been standing there all night have you?"

"No, I make my rounds outside and then check the wards. Hey, how did you know about them anyway?" He questioned and I felt myself become uneasy. Do I tell him, really let out a secret like that or do I keep it hidden because no matter how much I want to believe they would be forgiving, there are witch killing bullets in one of their guns?

"Old family friend, I used to watch her. I guess you just pick up things along the way." I found the clothes that I wanted to wear and put the phone on speaker as I shut the door and changed quickly, deodorant and all went on before I took Sam into the bathroom, put the phone on speaker and closed the door. "How's the stitches?"

He scoffed, "in need of your attention."

Yeah, if that wasn't a ploy to get me to touch him again, I don't know what was. I laughed as I brushed my teeth and after a moment grabbed the hairbrush. Running it down the length of my hair I noticed the cuts on my neck and sighed.

"I've got to come up anyway, the kit is up there and I have to change the ones on my arm." I replied, because, yeah there was no way I was admitting that I was going up there just to lay my hands on him. I stepped from the bathroom and moved toward the kitchen, having slipped on my shoes while we talked but I found that Danni was already sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in front of her and a thermos full beside her. "Sam, I'll see you in a few, okay?"

"Yeah, sounds good," he replied and the phone went dead.

"Why are you awake?" I laughed as I sat down to the mug she filled and pushed towards me. I didn't realized how many times I had already asked that question and she rolled her eyes. The small hints of hidden emotions that came and went on her face told me that there was definitely something up, something that I had missed.

"You're kidding right, I get up at 5:30 my time every day, just like you." I smiled and nodded. She had a point, we were all early birds and things were just not going to change. "Sam's up?"

"Yeah, took the morning shift, no surprise there, but he won't go back to sleep so…" I picked up a pencil and tapped it on the thermos. "I'm gonna guess we had the same idea."

"Yeah, caffeinate the grumpy pair." Danni laughed.

"Why did you let me go on last night about the vampires? You know as much as I do about the show, you could have jumped in at any time." I watched her turn in her seat to look at me.

"You think I'm stepping between you and Dean freaking Winchester, especially with how intense things were between you already?" She smiled and shook her head. "As much as I would love to give that boy a piece of my mind, he has something for you and there is no way I'm getting between that."

"Dean and I, yeah, already told you it wasn't going to happen." I answered and licked my lips, thinking about Sam. "One intense Winchester gunning for my ass is enough, to have his older brother doing it, yeah, I'll step back from that."

"Therein lies the problem, you can't step back, you're just as much wrapped around Dean as you are Sam, even if there is no sexual tension there. Dean isn't going to let anything happen to you, and he's not going to let anyone get between you either." I watched her face darken just a bit, as if she were sad, or mad, or actually it was so hard to read but she shook her head.

"It's a trust thing with him, Danni, and trust me, that little look he gave you before we came inside, well, I'm pretty sure the walls are coming down."

"It's going to take a miracle or killing a vampire to put that boy's mind at ease that I'm not a threat." I stood up, walked into the room and grabbed the blue flannel shirt that I had dug out. Slipping it on before I reached the kitchen, I looked at her once again.

"Honestly, I would rather be the threat than be the job they need to protect."

"Oh, shut up, you love it and you know it!" She laughed and I shook my head.

"The doting is getting to be a little much," I grabbed a muffin out of the middle of the table and she slapped my hand, "Ow! What was that for?"

"I was bringing them to the boys," but her face was all smiles.

"Yeah, and hello, vamp bait here, I have to eat too, you know." I grinned and watched her raise a brow. "So, plans?"

"We have to get going soon, it's about an hour or so trip to Tulsa, but we have to get up and wake up the sleeping monster before we can even think about a plan."

"You know what I thought of?"

"Sam…Sam… and probably Sam again." She teased.

"Funny, ha ha...no!" I sighed, but she was actually right, thoughts of him actually brought up my next concern. "If we take Baby into Tulsa, with two guys who look like Jared and Jensen, we're going to get mobbed."

"Did you really think that they were Sam and Dean when you first saw them?" I thought back to the diner but she was right, I knew Dean looked familiar, knew Sam kicked my brain into overdrive but it wasn't until I saw the Impala and put it together that I really thought about it. "See," she smiled, catching the thoughts by the expressions on my face, "there's a slim possibility that someone approaches them, but they're not exactly our Sam and Dean and they really don't look like a clean cut Jared and Jensen."

"One of these days I'm going to get that story of the scar out of Dean, even if it kills me." I smiled but I watched it fade from her face.

"Speaking of stories, your vamp one, the whole reason you started research, pure crap!" My eyes snapped up to hers, there was no way I was going to tell her, but I cleared my throat and placed my cup in the sink.

"Well, story for another day." I answered and took my coat from the rack. She turned and looked at me, wondering why I wouldn't just let it out and I smiled as I walked back to the room, placed the vampire protection bag in my pocket, stuffed the mags in there as well and I tucked the gun into the back of my belt before shrugging on my jacket when I exited. "You ready to go?"

"Yep," she mumbled, knowing she wasn't going to get anything from me, and we headed out the door, until she turned and grabbed the plate of muffins and the thermos before following me again.

"Hey," I paused at the door, looking at the suddenly vibrant cats that encroached on the kitchen. "Where's Wayne?"

"He, ah," she paused and looked at her cat Turtle before she closed the door, looked at me with frustration and shrugged, "he'll be gone for a few days."

"Everything okay?"

Danni stopped as we moved across the driveway, gave me a quick glance and shook her head. "Things are pretty bad, but not for supernatural reasons."

There is was again, that little bit of doubt that made me think there was definitely something of the supernatural variety going on here. I nodded, giving her space, and we headed towards the garage.

We walked in silence, both of us on the ready for whatever, not that we thought there was anything out there, but even through the bright sunlight, the layer of fog that set on the field gave it an eerie feeling that made me wish we had just stayed with the boys. The door to the garage was open, something I didn't expect and I pulled out the gun, since Danni had her hands full and held it with both as I looked inside. There wasn't any noise, not even from the Impala, which had all the windows rolled down.

I nodded towards Danni and she got the gist as she moved cautiously towards the table. I kept the gun low, but made sure that I was on my toes as I looked around the corners of every toolbox. I glanced over at Danni, who had also drawn and was looking in the cracks. The stairs to the small loft where the supplies were kept was just to my right and I made my way towards them.

Danni shook her head, narrowing her eyes at me as I pointed her to the Impala, wanting her to check on Dean, and finally she nodded as I made my way up the wooden steps, trying not to step in the middle. My back was against the wall, looking up as I took my time with the steps.

Glancing through the slots in the railing, I could see Danni peeking into the car and she nodded, letting me know Dean was definitely in there. I took a breath and stopped at the top of the stairs, my eyes scanned the room, watched for any movement but took a step in that direction.

It all happened so fast. As soon as I was on steady ground, an arm wrapped around me, I twisted in the spot making sure the gun wasn't between us as I tried my best to duck out of it. Another hand came down to grab the wrist that held the gun, good thing my wrist were small enough. I switched hands quickly, keeping away from the trigger and popped my hand right out of his, but he twisted me once more, brought both hands around to capture my wrists, crossing my arms against me and I felt him pull me back against his chest.

"For such a small thing, you're awful slippery." Sam's voice whispered against my ear and I smiled, calming a little as I whistled loudly, which sent him a little off balance.

I ducked down and twirled my arms and my wrists, breaking the hold on them both as I stood now facing him. The impressed look on his face was followed by one of pure want. Yes, Sam, you may have finally met your match, but we weren't going there now.

"So what was that? A little test?" I questioned, putting the gun back where I had originally kept it, tucked in my belt, but Sam shook his head.

"Not at first, I wanted to see what was up here, but heard you coming, thought I would see what you could do." He grinned at me, reached his hand out to move my hair from my shoulder but let his fingers slip down the dip in my shirt. "I'm pretty impressed."

"You should be." I winked and headed towards the stairway before he reached out and took my hand. He was gentle this time, pulling me in close and he didn't touch my face, just the skin next to my collarbone as he leaned down and brushed a kiss across my lips. "You might want to stop while you're ahead, there's no protection…"

"I have that covered," he whispered in a growl.

"I meant for your stitches." He laughed against my lips, a feeling that made me think of what else he could do with them and then I backed away.

Uh! This guy was going to be the death of me.

Sam watched the blush creep up on my face, his thumb danced over my cheek as he grinned and then took my hand. "Come on, coffee is waiting."

The room was quiet, or as quiet as it was going to get as Danni and I bantered back and forth about the plot to a new story we were kicking up and Sam sat back and watched. The plotline was pretty in depth, the characters were multi-leveled and deeply crazy people, but when we finally took a breath, I sat back and looked at Sam.

"Thoughts, now that you've heard our rant?" I questioned.

"You sure you two aren't hunters?" He replied and looked between us, "I mean just by sitting here listening, you've gone pretty in depth on three or four monsters, and I mean in depth to the point where Dean and I could use that information to track them down."

"It all in the research," Danni smiled and watched Sam actually looked at her with something that wasn't disdain. "This one here knows her away around more mythology sights than I can shake a stick at."

"And she comes fully equipped with the knowledge for the hunts, tactical, I guess." I replied and smiled at her. "It's amazing what you can find on the internet."

"So, being that it's the internet, how do you know it's real?" He was now testing our limits.

"These really cool building called libraries." I said and watched him give me "that look" as if he might just reach out and spank me. "No seriously, I back my information up with actual text and don't rely on Google, though SuperWiki is pretty accurate."

"Super what?" Dean's voice questioned behind me and I did my best to keep my body still, but he had scared the crap out of me. He grabbed the thermos, poured himself a cup of the black stuff and downed it quickly before snatching a muffin and the seat beside me, looking me over as if I was some hussy that had just walked into a bar. "What's up, Cupcake?"

"Call me cupcake again, Winchester and my foot will be _up_ ," I whispered, leaning in close to him, "up your ass!"

"Wow, grouch much?" He said as he winked and took a bit of the muffin. "So, this Super whatie-thing?"

"Web-based online resource for the Supernatural show, you know, where you two are a couple of pansies." Danni smiled and watched as Dean gave her a sarcastic smile, gave her a roll of his eyes, and went back to his breakfast.

"You two really do know a lot about this show," Sam stated in a stoic voice, Danni nodded, but there was just something in the way he said it that made me hold off on my reaction. "What have we done so far?"

"Probably shouldn't go into that." I shook my head.

"Why, it's not like it's going to change the timeline, I mean, we're here," Dean shrugged, "where are your boys?"

"Don't know, Lebanon would be my guess." I watched as Dean stopped chewing and turned to look at Sam, whose face had gone completely sour. "Oh, give me a break! Tell me you don't have a Men of Letters bunker in freaking Lebanon, Kansas?"

"Okay," Dean mumbled with a mouth full of food. "We'll go with…I don't know…Lawrence."

"That's where Sam and Dean were born." Danni spoke up, not really making it a statement but just stating a fact.

"We know," Sam sighed, "we were born there too." I stopped and looked at him, never really thinking that it would actually be a fact about these two as well, there were so many things that didn't fit, but then there were the little thing that did. "You were right, my mother died in a nursery fire when I was six months old, six months exactly."

"Was it a demon?" I whispered and watched Dean swallow hard, but the look in Sam's eyes took on a hardened steel expression, but he nodded. "I'm sorry."

"No need, it's done." Sam said and sat back, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. I looked over at Dean, who was eyeing his brother protectively. My concern grew as he crossed his arms over his chest, essentially closing everyone out. "When are we getting on the road?"

"Whenever you're ready." I pushed the chair out from underneath me, stood and walked over to the counter where I found the first aid kit, "but, Sam, first things first."

"Yeah, give me a minute." He huffed, the sound of anger bubbled in his voice as I took the kit and headed towards the bathroom myself.

I heard Dean start to question his brother, "You okay, Sammy?"

"I'm fine, Dean!" He snapped and I heard the chair move, but the sound of his boots were walking away from me, not towards, so I just sighed and got on with removing the bandages from my arm, not my favorite thing in the world.

I heard the door slide up, the Impala's engine rumble and Dean groan when Sam chirped the tires taking it out into the sunlight. There was another scrap of the chair against the floor and I almost expected to see the older Winchester in the door but he too was walking away. With a sigh, I brought my arm up to the mirror, used the light from the overhead to illuminate the scratches and used what I could to determine which spot could use a butterfly and which could be left well enough alone.

When I walked out of the bathroom, Danni and Dean were both standing by the open garage door, Dean leaning against it with his hands in his pockets and Danni was looking at him, a smile plastered on her face. This was a good sign, but I still didn't see Sam anywhere, until I heard something drop above my head.

I snatched the gauze and the tape and headed up towards the loft where I had caught Sam before, but this time he wasn't lying in wait for me to come up with a gun, he was sitting on a box, with his elbows on his knees, pissed off and moody. I wasn't that I blamed him, I mean a memory like that, of battling that kind of evil really scars someone for life, but he glanced up at me from under his hair as I stepped forward.

"Looks like our older counterparts are starting to get along." I whispered and watched him give a slight nod but he didn't move from where he was. "I'm not going to stay long, I just want to put this on and then I'll leave you alone."

"No," he whispered, it was just barely audible from where I stood less than two feet away, and his eyes focused in on his own hands. "You don't have to leave."

"Sam, if you need time alone…"

"I'm tired of being alone," he sighed and sat back.

He looked me over, at the small white bandages that decorated my lower arm and he reached out his hand, damn that boy could stretch out, and he captured my fingers before I could step back. I let him pull me closer and I watched as he tried to sit up as much as he could to expose the line of stitches.

"Okay, well that angle isn't going to work, you're either going to have to stand up or lay down." I sighed and watched as he moved, grabbed a folded drop cloth from one of the boxes and put it down on the floor. I smiled as he stretched out on the floor below me and pulled the shirt up so that I could see the area I needed to get too. I swear he was the sexiest thing I had ever seen, but now it begged the question, how do I decide which way to put them on.

His eyes widened as I stepped over, placing one foot on either side of his hip and knelt down, not really putting my weight on his body but I could feel his left arm come down and his fingers gently touch my thigh. Looking up at him, I leaned over and started my work, cleaning and taping up the area, but I used a smaller size this time, giving him a little more room to move.

When I smoothed the last piece across the smooth skin of his stomach, my fingers went to those small scars on his ribs. I heard him breath in quickly but when I went to move away, thinking I was causing him discomfort, he placed his hand gently on mine, pressing it against the raised surface.

"These are from him, aren't they?" I whispered as I moved my fingers gently under the weight of his hand and even as he put his head back and closed his eyes, he gave me a little nod. "Is that why you won't let Cas heal them?"

"No one has ever guessed that," he whispered, his hand moving up just so slightly that I had more of a free reign to touch the rest of them.

"Dean's scar?" I knew there had to be a reason behind it, but my guess would have been that Cas was healing it a little at a time, which was why it was such a contrast to so many other scars.

"Lucifer," Sam smiled, and opened his eyes once he noticed I hadn't even flinched at the name. "You know about that too?"

"The whole Michael and Luci's vessel thing, time in hell? Yeah I know of it, I don't assume to know everything about it, or even what it must have been like." I had forgotten that I was supporting my own weight, and where I was sitting, until Sam's other hand dropped down on my thigh and he closed his eyes again. "So Lucifer did a number on him."

"Yeah, you could say that," Sam sighed and I watched his lips stretch taunt.

"When he was in you?" I whispered, trying not to stir things up but his silence was as deafening as his worlds. "I'm sorry. You've gone through so much."

Sam sat up quickly, his arms wrapped around me as his shirt fell to cover his scars and he looked me in the eyes, his thoughts going a mile a minute.

"You're amazing," he whispered, his face full of wonder, but I laughed at him.

"Not so much." I replied, placing both hands on his shoulders.

"No, you really are. I'm glad you had your Sam and Dean, your connection to them because it make it so easy for me to feel like I can open up to you." I smiled at him and watched the way his eyes seemed to glow. "Do you know what it's like only having your brother to tell your secrets to, to only have one person to confide in? And then there are the times when what you need to let out, you can't because it's about the only person in your life?"

"I can't imagine," I took a deep breath, drew in the scent of him and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in. I just held him, let myself feel him as he buried his face against my neck, breathing in and out deeply, not sure if he was trying to memorize my scent or trying to keep calm.

"I could stay right here forever." He whispered, and I smiled but as much as I wanted to do that, there was no way. I had until Thursday morning to figure this whole thing out. Thursday… to get rid of the vampires on my ass and to figure out just what I was going to do with the man in my arms, and the one in my thoughts.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

It had been decided that we would ride down to Tulsa in Baby, this way there were weapons available and neither boy had to fit into Danni's Escape. The upside of this, I didn't have to drive, not a bad thing on this occasion, I was still exhausted but wide awake, which made my driving skills just a little rusty. Another upside, Danni didn't have a chance to veer off the road at the mention of either boy due to the fact that she was crushing hard on one and pretty pissed off at the other.

The downside to this little agreement: I was sitting in the backseat of this absolutely beautiful car behind Dean, whose very scent drove me crazy, right down to that nip of his cigarette which he had finished hours ago. Not sure why it was such a turn-on since I couldn't stand them at all, but the tobacco in these was pure and the hint of it reminded me a little bit of danger, and possibly his lips wrapped around it.

The other downfall: sitting in the backseat of this absolutely beautiful care behind _Dean_ , which gave me a perfect view of Sam's profile, the edge of his jaw, the way his brown hair wisped against his face, the way his eyes brightened when he looked at his brother and smiled. Yeah, whatever conversation they were having, I had tuned out long ago in exchange for memories of the loft and how we left it. Straddling his lap, him holding me tight, and feeling him, ALL of him, even though he fought to control it, there wasn't much you could do with yourself when you had someone who was just touching you, sitting on your lap.

The thoughts of his lips on mine, skin on skin, in that same position, bodies sweating, slick with want, his hair stuck to his face as he… Why the hell was he looking at me like that?

I came back, full reality, to the real world, and to the giant smile on Sam's face as he had turned in his seat, one arm over the back of it, looking like he might have read my thoughts because those were definitely bedroom eyes.

Dean cleared his throat, giving me less than a second to compose myself before my vision locked on the green eyes that stared at me through the rearview and my ears picked up Danni's laugh beside me.

"What?" I snapped, just a little bit of this side of "caught red handed". Sam ran a hand through his hair, a movement that had me instantly brought back to him and I rolled my eyes.

"What, ah, what were you thinking about right then, Cupcake?" Dean teased and with my eyes still on Sam, I bit down on my lips.

"Not a damn thing," I managed to get out and crossed my arms. "And don't call me that."

"Yeah, we could tell by the moan." My head felt like I had done a 360 because I looked at Dean once more before I could blink.

"I did not moan!" I argued.

"Yeah," Sam smiled, pride in the fact that he knew why, "you kinda did."

"Crap!" I mumbled under my breath and turned to Danni, who was laughing so hard that her face was turning red. She had her hand over her mouth to muffle the sound but there were tears running down her face. "What the hell are you laughing at?" Which only got her to laugh just a little bit harder and I put my head back against the seat, stared at the ceiling a little bit more and finally brought my attention back to the man who was STILL staring me down. "I… I have nothing to say in my defense."

"Good," he winked and looked me over from head to toe. Five minutes! Five minutes alone with that man, and no freaking conscious, and he wouldn't be able to walk for a week, but there was no way I was telling him that. "You look tired."

"She looks sexed up, what the hell did the two of you do while we were waiting on you?" Dean questioned and his glances from the road went between the two of us. "Ah, never mind, I don't need to know."

"Probably better that way," Sam answered, leaving a little mystery behind the fact that nothing actually happened beyond me tracing the scars along the soft skin of his ribs, listening to the small hiss of his voice as my fingers pressed… crap, this time I heard myself moan and I sunk down further in the seat. "You gonna be okay?"

This time I couldn't even get mad at the question, because no, I was certainly not going to be okay. "Dean, can you pull over so Sam can hop in the backseat?"

"WHAT?" Dean snapped and looked at me, adjusting the mirror so he could look DOWN. "No way in hell, you two would probably stain my car and I don't need to see Sam's ass while I'm driving."

Sam rolled his eyes and looked over at his brother, brow raised and then shook his head, but Dean cracked a smile that I hadn't ever seen. It was playful and loving and carefree and it looked amazing on him, and then there was Sam, whose smile made his cheeks red and his eyes glow and damn if they weren't both the best things I had ever seen.

"Okay, so now that I have officially laughed my ass of," Danni smiled as I turned my attention to her, "Dean, I need you to pull over at the gas station up ahead."

"God, you're worse than Sam, who I swear has to stop to pee every five minutes," Dean bitched but flipped on the blinker as soon as he saw the gas station. He pulled up to the pump, thinking he might as well top it off, as Danni got out of the car.

The next move was on Sam, who expertly slid over the seat and grabbed my legs, pulling me down so that I was lying beneath him, his hips setting comfortably between my thighs as he rested on his elbows beside my head. His blue-green eyes were full of mischief as he pressed against me.

"No more moaning like that," he whispered, leaning down so that my eyes focused on his but his lips were a breath away from mine, his hair falling like curtains around us as I smiled, licking my lips, which brought my tongue in contact with his mouth, and he let out a growl from deep in his chest. "Or doing that, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Big, badass, Sam Freaking Winchester, having a heart attack over a moan?" I smiled and he pushed into my thighs which got the reaction he wanted, a roll of my eyes. "Yeah I could see how you would need me to stop. Do that again and I swear Dean's just going to have to deal with your ass."

"Hmm, oh no, for that, I have something special in mind." So this was the Sam that I wanted, the darker, straightforward one that knew what he wanted and definitely had no problems telling or taking, and again I let out a breathless whimper.

Sam swallowed hard, brushed his lips against mine, not softly but a claiming kiss that didn't last long enough to say the least and he back away, cursing "son of a bitch" under his breath. I scanned his body, what I could see as he leaned away from me and the evidence of how hot this was making him stretched the limits of his jeans.

"I can help you with that," I whispered and watched as he shook his head just slightly, looking as if he was holding back a monster and just as quickly as he was there pulling me down, he was back in the front seat, and had turned to stare at me. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea." The smile on his face was gone but that look, the one that said he could take me at any moment and I would enjoy everything he did to me, yeah, that was he look he was giving me now. "You have some amazing self-control."

"It's slipping faster every second I'm alone with you," he admitted and rubbed his face with one hand, the five o'clock shadow was getting to be thicker and I loved the scruffy look on him.

It was at that moment that both Danni and Dean slipped into the car, and with a childish grin on his face, Sam winked and sat to face the road. Dean on the other hand thought it would be funny to twirl round the best he could in his seat and narrow his eyes at me.

"Stop corrupting my baby brother," he said with what was supposed to be a protective voice but it came off as not so much.

"Dean," I leaned forward so that our faces were maybe a hand's width apart, "you obviously don't know your brother as well as you think."

"Oh I know him better than anyone, and you, Miss Cupcake, are downright dangerous to his reputation." The smirk on his lips told me everything I need to know as he licked his lips, scanned over my face, rested on mine for a second before snapping up to look into my eyes.

"He's far from a gentle wallflower, trust me." I smiled and watched as Dean went to move back but suddenly he reached out and grabbed my shirt, kissed me quickly on the forehead, which was so not like the grouch that I had met two days ago, before he let me go, turned in his seat and cranked the car over.

"So, breakfast, where I we going?"

"IHOP!" both Danni and I announced at the same time, which got Dean to spin around again.

"Did you two plan out the whole day? Like seriously?" Danni nodded and I just shrugged. "Oh tell me we aren't going into one of those pink, cutesy boutiques." Danni and I looked at each other and she winked, which made me give her a questioning look, okay pink and I, not a thing so what was she trying to pull. Dean rolled his eyes and turned around, putting the car in gear. "Great!"

I tried to hide the smile from Danni about how she had just set off a Winchester ticking time bomb, but I just shook my head and curled up against the door, closing my eyes, as I crossed my arms over my chest. I was floating in a light sleep before I understood what was going on but Tulsa wasn't too far away and I knew I wouldn't stay in that state forever.

"Hey, is she sleeping?" Dean questioned, and I heard Sam shift in the seat.

"She's probably exhausted, I mean, we've been running her ragged for two days." Sam sighed.

"She tossed and turned last night, so I'm not sure how much actual good sleep she got," Danni's voice popped up, "but I can tell you one thing. She trusts you, Dean."

"Why would you say that?" His voice was full of confusion.

"She adamantly refuses to be driven around," Danni laughed, "why do you think she drove here in the first place. And how much hell did she give you getting into Baby the first time."

"Well, she kinda didn't have a choice, vampires trashed her car." Sam added but I could hear the acknowledgment in his voice. "Now that you mentioned it, even sleeping had to be something she was forced to do."

"Yeah, because she doesn't sleep when someone else is behind the wheel either." Danni replied.

A "huh" from Dean in front of me had me shift slightly in my spot. "So she trusts me to what, not crash into a tree?"

"I don't know where the fear lies, but I know one thing, her sleeping now tells me a whole lot more than anything she could say. She's putting herself in your hands, both of you, and as much as that scares the hell out of her, she trusts you enough to do it."

She was right, I couldn't stand not being in control, I had to have a plan for everything and not being behind that wheel, that was a big thing to give up. How fast we were going? What route were we taking? How can I get there from here? They were all questions that lead to one thing…what if…and I didn't do well with what ifs.

"Well, we'll get you where you need to be," Dean sighed, "even if I have to drive her home myself, I'm not letting her out of my sight."

"Mine either." Sam whispered, but his voice floated towards me, which meant that he was sitting in that seat again, staring me down.

The sound of a truck speeding by, the darkness that surrounded me, the headlights of the oncoming car. The swerve of the road, the screeching of tires and the sound of the front end impacting what I thought was a brick wall, until the cold water started to swirl around me.

My chest was tight, the water was rising, I couldn't breathe, couldn't get the seatbelt undone as I tilted my head back as far as I could go. I remembered the lights before my eyes, the way that the headlights on the car suddenly flickered and went out. The darkness closed in, the cold tightened every muscle in my body, there was no way out, no way to the surface.

Water filled my lungs as I gasped for air. There was nothing to grasp onto, my fingers had all but gone numb. There was nothing I could do. They say that drowning is the best way to die, but I wasn't ready to die, I wanted to live, I wanted to go home to my kids, I wanted… no, I chose… life! Instinct kicked in and I tilted the seat back, shimmied from the belt, and made my way through the smashed passenger's side window, up towards the light, up towards the surface. And when I finally broke through, finally found the way to breathe…

I sat up in the car, my eyes scanned the tan and black interior and waited, just waited for my heart to catch up with itself, for the one set of grass green eyes to register something other than worry. Where was Sam, where was Danni? Was I wet? Did he pull me from the water? Dean moved to Sam's side of the car, did the same maneuver his younger brother had done earlier that morning and slid into the backseat. I didn't wait for him to even sit back, to get comfortable enough to accept me before I was in his arms.

Dean pulled me in, bringing me to his lap, holding me with such force that I wasn't sure I would be able to breathe through the pain of the dream if he let go. I grabbed his shirt, buried my face against his neck, just under his jaw and I heard him whispering, soft mindless words that really didn't matter if they made sense. He rocked me gently, one arm slipping lower so that he could grab me under the knees and tug me in closer.

His face was nestled in the hair by my ear, as close as he could get to me, and I felt the strands catch on the itchy stubble that line his cheek. I could hear him breathing, the puffs of warm air brushing over my skin as he continued to whisper, and then, he did the strangest thing.

He laughed.

I was in a panic, holding onto him for dear life, praying that when I opened my eyes I wouldn't see that river swirling around me, that I would see him and not the night at that invaded my nightmares, but that laugh penetrated everything I feared, urging me out of the darkness, bringing me closer to reality and the feeling of his arms around me, his body beneath and beside me and his face so close to mine.

I groaned as I tilted my head back and he pulled away from me. I watched those green eyes look me over and the hand that held my legs came up to caress my cheek, pushing the tear-dampened hair from my face as I stared at him with parted lips, trying to control the shudder in my breathing. His thumb danced over those lips, and I dared to close my eyes. This was Dean, this was just how he was, this was just how he felt to me and it was great, and everything I needed but why did he laugh…why?

"You smell like Sammy," he whispered, his eyes looking over my face, settling on my blue ones.

"Sam?" I whispered, and cracked a smile, but his lips didn't follow, didn't join me in the amusement. "You say it like it's a bad thing."

"No," he answered and the hold got just a bit more snug, "you're the best thing that could have happened to him. It's not a bad thing, kinda weird, but not bad at all."

"To smell like your brother?" I sighed and released his shirt enough so that I could trace his jaw. It was weird to be held like this, but weirder still was the fact that it was weird for the strangest reasons. Did I want Dean the way that I wanted Sam, not in the slightest, but Dean made me feel safe, just as safe as his brother, and if it meant being this close to him, I could certainly deal with it. "I was drowning."

"Well, I got you now, Kid." He whispered softly, his lashes giving a long blink before he picked his head up and watched the other two approached. "And I'm not letting go."

"Why?"

"What?" he looked down at me with confusion.

"Dean, you're a hunter, a hard ass and you trust like the other shoe is already on its way to hitting the floor, so why is it that you can't let me go?" I questioned, and I watched him look down at me again and his mouth moved as if he were trying to find the words, but he just sighed and clenched his jaw.

"Honestly," he whispered, "I don't know."

I smiled at him, which got me a narrowed-eyed look of confusion. "You don't have to know everything, especially about how you feel."

"Yeah, well," he grumbled as the front door opened and Sam stuck his head in, a bit confused to see me sitting on his brother's lap. Dean rolled his eyes, kissed me quickly on the forehead before he all but pushed me off and slid out the back door. I smiled at him, got comfortable in my seat as Danni climbed in beside me and Sam closed the door. Dean moved behind the wheel and started the car. "Well, where to? You said IHOP, I don't see an IHOP."

"It's not my fault the last rest stop didn't have a bathroom." Danni smiled as Sam turned around in the seat and gave me the once over. I raised my eyebrows, gave a slight shrug and winked.

"How many times a week do you drive down here?" Dean questioned sarcastically. I shook my head as Danni narrowed her eyes and gave him a snarky look in return.

"Where the hell are we?" I questioned and looked out the window, not that I could pick up where I was by looking at anything since it was pretty obvious by the way he was driving that Dean had certainly been there before, and Danni came into Tulsa all the time.

"We're just around the corner." Danni smiled.

The day seemed to flow from there, and sadly most of it I can't remember, as if my mind was pulled in a multitude of different directions, as if I were lost in a world not quite my own. Breakfast was interesting, as the four of us gathered around a small table, one much too tiny for their long legs and we talked loudly to each other, the bad dreams and scary monsters of the world forgotten if only for a moment.

I smiled as I watched this, the hardness fade from Dean's eyes as his trust for the woman I knew began to grow, the wall in Sam's crumbled as he found the will to reach out now and again for a touch, a hand, the small stroke of a finger down my arm. Life had made them solid, almost impenetrable, but as I watched over crepes and bacon, pancakes and coffee, as they softened, still edged like a sword but approachable. Even Sam's expression when he talked to Danni had eased up, there wasn't that biting need for him to be defensive anymore. He was relaxed.

We hit the shops after, looking for what we thought might be the perfect outfit because tomorrow, in our world we were booked to do a private photo shoot with an exact replica of the one we had driven into town. But we hadn't told the boys that yet, not until we were sure that they were comfortable.

Before we knew what hit us, it was lunch time, and two six-foot-plus men were not ones to go around hungry without complaining about it in one form or another. Chinese was next, a giant buffet of whatever food you wanted to grab and I had never seen two men more eager to dig in.

I sat across from them, with my meager plate of food, glanced at both overfilled plates and raised an eye to Danni who sat beside me.

"Good thing it isn't per plate, or I have a feeling the bill is going up." Danni laughed and I watched Dean scoop a spoonful of rice into his face as he looked up under his lashes at her, gave her a wink and went back, digging into the General Tso's Chicken. Sam looked over at his brother before trying to take his time but I watched his restraint.

"Eat, Sam, no one's going to grab it from you and nothing's going to jump you for it." I whispered, gently touching the thigh that was nearly touching every inch of mine with how short the tables were. Sam's eyes rolled at the gentle pressure of my fingers and decided I was right, before he dug in.

"I'm surprised that anything is opened considering it's Easter." Dean spoke up with a mouthful and I stopped what I was doing and stared at him.

"What?" I whispered, not shocked that it was Easter, I didn't celebrate anyway, but that I had totally missed it.

"Yeah, that's a thing you know, bunnies and eggs, not that I get the connection." He shrugged and went back to his food. I could hear it spinning, the thoughts of having let the kids down because I didn't grab a basket for them, but I grabbed the phone and quickly sent a text.

"Hey, screens down!" Danni smiled but I watched it fade. "Never mind, keep going."

My knees went a mile a minute as I waited for a text response to "OMG! I didn't know it was Easter!" to Kathy, what I got back was a simple: "LOL. No worries, they got baskets and I just told them that you said Happy Easter!" To which I replied: "I'll call as soon as I get the phone replaced. Love you, give the kids kisses."

I sat back, able to breathe again and looked up at Sam, whose face was full of worry. "Not going to ask."

"Good," I smiled at him and ran my finger over the denim that stretched over his thigh. "There's nothing to ask, everything is good."

But I sat in silence for a while, picking at my food because if there was one thing I didn't need to do it was bring the wrath of a nest of vampires down on my kids when I headed back home. The thought of it plagued me all day, no matter what we did next, which included more shopping and a trip to Barnes and Noble before everything started to shut down for the night. It was Sunday and five seemed to be everyone's closing time.

I stood beside the Impala, leaning against it as I watched Dean and Danni talked just far enough away that I couldn't hear, but I could just imagine the conversation. I also watched the body language, Dean was closer this time, closing the space between them. What started as a Grand Canyon, was now just a puddle jump before they were touching, which meant that they had finally established some level of trust.

"Hey," Sam whispered as he stepped up beside me, leaned his arms on the roof of the car and smiled as I turned towards him.

"Hey yourself," I smiled and he reached out, his brow creasing as thoughts came rushing at him and he played with the hair that lay over my shoulders.

"So, wanna tell me what I barged in on before breakfast." That's right, this was the first time we had been alone all day, I mean alone enough to talk. I turned my body towards him, ignoring the couple that were now walking in some giant loop. We had stopped at a park, stretching legs before heading back towards Vinita.

I took a breath and sighed. "I was drowning," I replied and watched that confusion set in, "it's a reoccurring nightmare, I'm alone, the car swerves off the road and into a river, the water starts to come up. It's freezing and all my muscles are failing. I can't…" I could feel the tears in my eyes just like that and I had never told the story out loud before. Sam's fingers found my hand as I began to tremble but I wouldn't go to him, no matter how gentle he tugged. "I can't breathe, I can't get loose. The belt is stuck, the water starts to fill me and I gave up."

"No… no, no," he whispered with panic in his voice and his automatically dropped my hand and his hands cupped my face.

"I did, for a minute and then I just, couldn't," I was vaguely aware of him now, just this side of knowing he was there as I got pulled back into the dream. "I got out, not sure that I really thought about how but I made it out, I made it to the surface, and that first breath, the first intake of air…that was when I woke up, in the car, and Dean…Dean just took me and held me to him."

"Did you tell him what was going on?" There was no jealousy in his voice, still just the concern.

"He seemed to know it was a nightmare." I shrugged and placed my hands against his own. "Um, I told him I was drowning but we didn't go into details." That was when the thought hit me and I smiled. "He said I smelled like you."

"What?" This got a big grin from the man holding me, as he relaxed and the hands on my cheeks feel away as he kissed my forehead. "My brother said you smelled like me? That's…odd."

"A little weird but think about it, I was lying on your jacket, you were holding me in the loft. Your cologne, just you. You're everywhere on me." Sam's face started to turn a little red as I watched the thoughts run through his mind and slowly he leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"I want to be in you." It was more of a growl that sent a shiver down my spine as he back away and I watched the control slip from his features, his fist clenched as he took a deep breath and suddenly that control, that even keel that he was teetering on, went back up. I reached out and brushed his chest and stomach with my hand and his blue-green eyes focused on me, on my lips as they darkened. "Hey!" he shouted to the pair, "are we going or what?"

"Yeah, yeah!" Dean shouted back, "don't get your panties in a bunch."

Sam smiled, opened the door he had just been leaning on and gestured me inside. I had never seen him voluntarily take the backseat, except when I changed his bandage, but I was guessing the front seat was too far away from me at the moment. Dean gave him a questioning look as he and Danni climbed in the front of the car.

"You okay, Sammy?" The man's first instinct jumped in again and all Sam did was nod as he stretched out in the back, his jacket as a pillow and he pulled me down to lay in front of him, my back to him, spooning in the back seat. "Okay, let's get this show on the road.

I don't remember much of the drive, the feel of Sam's arm under my head, his breath against my neck as he leaned in and buried his face in my hair. His hand spanned out over my waist and stomach as his legs intertwined with mine. He was quiet, holding onto that little bit of control just as the sun started to set and the roads ahead began to darken.

I had managed to close my eyes, let the feeling of Dean handling this machine take over and I just took in the feeling of having Sam so close. This was what I needed, something I longed for and it had been a long time coming.

But the night shattered the peacefulness as Dean yelled.

"Son of a BITCH!" shook me right out of the euphoria and suddenly the car was swerving, bouncing off a guardrail, and the way it stopped, the sudden halt yanked me from the arms that had wrapped tighter around me.

Everything after that….was black.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I panicked the moment I opened my eyes, being brought back to that one spot in time when I was trapped under the surface and all I could do was move my arms, flail them out in every direction and that was when I felt it. The carpet on the floor of the Impala, the vinyl and leather of the seats and I realized, I was lying face down on the floor, leaning in towards the front seat.

I felt the heavy arm of the man who had been lying behind me as I bumped it with my shoulder. I had managed to land with my stomach over the hump in the floor and probably in the most protected position in the car, but I could still feel the warmth of the blood from my forehead as it ran down my cheek.

I pushed up to look into the unconscious face of the man who was now sprawled out on his stomach on the seat. I reached out a hand and ran it over the top of his head. There wasn't any blood that I could tell, nothing seemed out of place, but I certainly wasn't going to move him, not without knowing the damage of the car and where the hell we were.

I reached for the door beyond Sam's head and pushed at it, listening to the creaking of the hinges as it finally broke loose and opened, swinging into a small tree, but wide enough so that I could get out. I hit the ground first on both hands and knees, letting myself adjust to the cold air that surrounded me and used both the frame and the actual door itself to move myself to steadier legs.

Watching my breath roll out in what light was still coming from the red taillights of the car told me a few things, one, the car was still working, for the most part, and two, if we didn't some help we were going to be screwed.

The thought of the night made my hand instantly go to the back of my jeans, to the small Walther that was still tucked back there, and the mag that was also in my pocket. Oh goody, at least I was armed. I managed to get around to the front of the car and look in the head of auburn hair that was slouched over almost resting against Dean's leg. He must have pulled her down when the car swerved because she didn't look hurt, there was no blood, but Dean… Dean's head rested against the wheel, blood trickling from the cut just above his hairline and I could see the spot against the window where the side of his head had hit.

There was no way to get to Danni, the door was blocked by that little tree that I had hit with my door, but I moved to stand up by the grill. No smoke, no smell of leaking fluids. In fact the front end didn't look like it had taken any damage at all, except for the parking light. I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket and enabled the flashlight setting. Yep, just as I thought, the marker was completely covered in blood, but there wasn't any fur attached anywhere that would have suggested an animal.

So either I was behind curious, or dumb, neither one would have been my fault given the situation I had just crawled out of, but I managed to move across to Dean's side and yanked on his door. It opened without a hitch, which was strange because his was THE door that usually caught. I checked his pulse, felt along the back of his neck for anything out of place and slowly, with my hands cupping each side, moved him back against the seat so that I could get passed him. I brushed Danni's hair aside, uncovering her face and felt with my fingers, more than with my eyes as I leaned across Dean's lap the best I could to check her breathing and pulse.

Everyone was alive, everyone was breathing and no one was bleeding, at least externally that I could see. I moved to back out, clicked the engine and the headlights off, in order to save the battery as I took the keys from the ignition and made my way around to the trunk. I knew what key it was, had done this before and once the trunk was popped, I grabbed that little leather pouch with the needles filled with DMB (dead man's blood), and a machete before I closed it softly and pocketed the keys.

I stopped for a moment, crouched down by the edge of the taillight and used the bottom of my shirt to wipe the blood from my forehead. I could feel where the cut was just by how I had to gently dab at it with the fabric, but I was glad that it had stopped bleeding, the sticky feeling of it on my skin was starting to bother me, like nails on a chalkboard.

I wanted to be mad at myself for letting down my guard but the blood on the front of the car told me it wasn't the driver in this case, and I forced back the anxiety of getting back in the car once it was settled firmly on the asphalt. Nope, this was something different, and I hoped, even with as little of it that there was, that whatever darted out in Dean's path, whatever he happened to clip, was a deer that was dead on the side of the road because the other possibility…well, they were pretty endless when it came to being involved with the Winchesters.

The road was narrow, and we had gone off of it at a bend. I moved out towards the middle of it, listened to the quiet and waited to see if there was any chance to hear oncoming vehicles but the night was deathly silent. I swung the flashlight at the guardrail to my left, which would have Sam and Danni's side of the car and moved quietly towards it, my shoes ghosting across the pavement.

I leaned down and touched the black coat of paint that graced the metal of maybe the last two feet of the rail, just before it ended and sighed. Dean was going to be pissed. Trading paint with another car while making a getaway was one thing, marking up a rail for no other reason than the back end fished when he swung it to avoid something, all together a completely different story.

BUT, it did give me a clue, since the blood and the paint were passenger side damage, it meant that it came out of the woods just past there. My head was starting to throb, just a little lower than the cut and I didn't dare to look at the damage it had caused, but I knew one thing, cover up for the photo shoot was going to definitely be my friend.

I counted the steps between the railing and the dark stain on the road. Ten, maybe twelve at the most, and I could picture the car, yeah, that would be about the length of the front end and Danni's door, which mean Sam and I had hit that rail first. As I drew closer to it, I could see the that it was a massive amount, that there was no way this was a fawn, but as I surveyed the ground around it, I also could tell, whatever it was, it was standing on four legs when it was hit.

In the mud by the side of the road were animal tracks, just on the edge and the blood spot would have been where the creature's head was, exactly spot on with the height of the marker itself. I crouched down again and looked around, making sure that there were no cars, and I closed my eyes.

The vision I was able to bring up was me, dashing out of the woods, seeing the headlights, feeling the impact of the grill and then the impact of the cement. As I hit, I was jolted back to my body and glanced over at the way that the small trees had been crushed by the car. Dean had missed a rock and a rather large tree. The Impala itself was not too far from the edge of the road, but at a downhill angle and there was no way we were getting it out alone.

A branch snapped behind me and I rolled my eyes because we all know how things go when twigs snap or footstep falls. I took a breath, stood and turned towards the thick woods. Dean would have my ass if he knew I was doing this, so I sucked in a breath and headed in that direction. There was a small dip in the ground just as you hit the thinner trees, but I could tell something had gone through there. Scanning it, I spotted a clearer path, possibly a turkey run, or even a deer, but whichever it was, they used it frequently.

Deciding this would be the best way to go, I stepped into the darkness and waited just a moment before I went on. Yep, I never said I was smart but the boys weren't conscious, so my promise to make sure they knew when I was planning on doing something stupid just went out the door.

I wasn't more than ten feet in when I spotted it. Moving carefully, I could see the fir that stuck up from its body. The coat was a gray frosted, with hints of white and black and I came around the front of it, I realized, there weren't any wolves in Oklahoma. Still, I couldn't help the curiousness and leaned down by its head, not close enough to get bit if it happened to still be alive, but the damage to its head put the pretty much killed any hope of that.

I rested my hand on its chest, no breathing, no life and I sighed, but the thought still nagged at me, why was it here. I moved quickly, needed to get away suddenly as if something had just popped on my instincts and I was being watched.

When I rushed out of the woods, I turned once to look back as my feet kept moving forward, but that was until I heard the click of the safety going off. Strange how you can be around people for only a few days and suddenly their habits become yours. Before I knew it, I was holding my own small weapon in my hand, pointing it right at the shadow that was stepping up from the spot where the car had gone down.

Giving my eyes a moment to adjust, I watched as Danni stepped forward again, her weapon raised as we both moved out towards the street. I tilted my head, watched her gait, waited to see if there was any confusion, but she cleared up any issues for me about her state of wellbeing when that safety went back on.

"Damn you, girl!" she snapped and it echoed through the emptiness. "Do you realize I could have shot you?" I smiled at this, safety flipped on the gun, and I tucked it in my belt. "What the hell are you doing up here alone?"

I felt her embrace before I knew I was close enough for her to even reach me but I closed my eyes and hugged her back. "I needed to see if there was something up here, you know, whatever it was that Dean hit."

"It was big, and furry." Danni replied stepping back.

"It was a wolf."

"That's impossible, there aren't any wolves in Oklahoma." I shook my head, I knew she would question it but I didn't have time to explain.

"How did you get out of the car?"

"I climbed over Dean." She grinned, wiggled her eyebrows at me and I seriously just rolled mine.

"Did you get a good feel for that seat?" I mocked and she was the one that looked at me this time, crinkling her nose.

"You know, I'm just as big of a pervert as you, but the man was unconscious." My face dropped as I looked at her with all seriousness and waited. "Okay, okay, I get it, but no, I didn't, I just climbed over to get out."

"I checked them both over, we're going to have to do something, they can't stay there."

The trip back down to the car was a little more tricky than I thought, since up I could dig my toes into the dirt and on the way down, I couldn't get a heel hold on anything. Dirt graced the backside of my jeans in more than one place when I slipped and when we were finally back at the Impala, I slipped the keys in the ignition and fired up the engine.

Danni listened well and shrugged. "It sounds perfect, the only problem would be…"

"There's no way we're backing up that incline, I know." I sighed and cut the engine, flipped on the headlights and took a look around. There was enough room around the area for the car to clear it without more scratches should we find a way to get it towed out. "So, let's get those boys conscious."

I snatched the keys again and went to the trunk for the med kit, one that I had managed to add things too, like the smelling salts that I had Dean pick up the first night when I needed to stitch up Sam. Dean was going to hate me for what I was about to do but, I needed to make sure they were really okay. Just as I leaned down to break the container, I was grabbed the back of my shirt.

When I found myself flung across the ground, landing on my back, which knocked the air out of me and dug the gun into my spine, I neared unconsciousness, but my next thought was, what the hell was that? Blinking furiously to get the light to come back, I rolled onto my side, off the gun, and slowly began to push myself up, but just as the figure came into view, more a silhouette than anything, I felt it kick me down once again, this time with a boot to the gut.

I felt the air leave me once more and the world started to spin but I didn't seem to get the clue. My eyes finally adjusted to the dark and the face of the creature that loomed over me became more than just clear, it became terrifying. I felt my eyes widen, my heart quickened in my chest as I tried to move back, scooting across the ground, but it was all for a better purpose, and then I felt the solid, scratching bark of the tree that I had spotted when inspecting the car.

It leaned over, his face not inches from mine and bared his teeth. The retractable fangs sprouted and the drool cascaded down his lips. His eyes darkened as the bloodlust filled him and his hands reached out to grab a fistful of shirt. When he was close enough to me, when he was distracted enough to not care about anything else but the thumping of my heart as I turned my neck towards him, I clicked the safety off the small Walther in my hand.

With a sneer, I turned back and stared him in the eyes. "Dude, you are one ugly son of a bitch!"

I swung the gun around, pressed it right against his chest and fired off three times. He let go of my shirt, stumbled backwards and paused, as if the poison from the bullets was spreading and he looked down, but not in time. The final shot whizzed through the air, I felt it leave the gun, watched it fly through the gunpowder smoke and when it hit its target, square in the center of its eyes, I let the air release from my lungs. It took a step forward, even in its dying state and that was when I heard the growl. Not an animalist one, but a frustrated and protective growl that accompanied the sound of a blade singing through the air and the whooshing sound as it connected.

The body fell together this time, landing on its knees first, then slowly it felt forward, missing my feet by inches before the head rolled off the shoulders just a little and I looked up at Danni, trying to catch my breath. She looked a little winded herself as she reached out and kicked at the dead thing, and looked up, smiling at me.

I tried to laugh, but the kick and the whole being flung to the ground thing made my sides hurt, so I closed my eyes and just smiled. It was then that I heard the groan and two boots hit the ground.

"Danni?" Dean's gravelly voice moaned in the dark and I watched her swing around.

I could see from where I sat, with the light that bounced back with the headlights, that Dean was sitting up in the front seat, well sitting up being a bit of an exaggeration as he leaned forward, elbows to knees. Danni squatted down in front of him, checking over the head wound that had finally stopped bleeding. He looked past her at me and I watched his eyes grow wide. He tried to get up but her firm hands on his sore shoulders kept him set right in his spot.

He groaned out my name: "Ali?"

"Just keep your ass there and let her look at you, we're both to freaking sore to move." I growled and kicked at the head in front of me, which really got Dean's attention.

"I was wrong," he snickered which got me to look up at him again. "You two really are hunters." I watched as he stared up into Danni's eyes for a few minutes as she did the whole "follow my finger" trick on him to make sure he was all right in the head. I wanted to kid around, to tell her she should just give it a little rattled and he'd be fine but all I did was watch him, just to see how he moved. "Where's Sam?" He said, suddenly aware of his brother's absence. "Sammy?"

"The back seat." I mumbled as I tried to push myself away from the tree.

"UGH!" Sam growled as he practically kicked the door open. "Stop FREAKING yelling."

Sam was sitting up in the seat, almost the same way Dean was and he ran a hand through his hair, shook it out and then looked around. He was pissed, I mean his face looked like he was about to rip whatever they had hit a new ass but I didn't have the heart or the strength to actually tell them it was already dead, or what it was. I watched his eyes scan over the ground, move up to the body that lay in front of me and then those blue-green eyes, hard as diamonds set on me.

He creased his brow in anger, not sure what exactly he was angry about, but he moved quickly from the car and was sitting beside me in an instant. His hands were on my face, checking out the cut on my forehead, then down over my neck and my shoulders but the only thing I wanted to do was look into his eyes.

He stopped moving when I finally put my hands on his and smiled. "I'm just winded, that's all. It didn't bite me, it never even came close."

"No, it didn't have a chance, the badass shot it!" Dean grinned as both of us looked at him. Sam sat down on his ass, letting all of the worry fade from his face as he pulled me into his arms, but I couldn't hold back the wince as his hands pressed against the bruised bones where the discarded gun had dug into my back.

"I thought you said you were just winded." Sam scolded and I smiled as I leaned back and looked up at him.

"Guess I forgot how much it hurt to have a vamp throw you across the ground." I laughed but Sam's face never changed, he certainly didn't look happy. "I'm fine, Sam, really."

"Yeah, well, I'll be the judge of that when we get out of here." He growled and yep, I think I found Sam's overprotective side. I pushed at him, not that I didn't want to stay in his arms forever, but he was right, we needed to get out of there. He watched as I stood on my own two feet, stretched my arms and my back and then crouched down to stare him in the eyes. "Come on, Winchester, let's go see what we can find."

"There's a barn about a half mile down the road, I think we can get a tractor to tow Baby out of this ditch." Danni announced as she continued to look over Dean, who was playfully swatting at her hand while he watched me move.

I grabbed my gun, tucking it in my jeans as I took Sam's hand and pulled at him while I stood. It amazed me that either of them were able to stand or that any of us had gotten out of this with little more than some minor scratches. Stepping up beside Dean, I handed him the keys to the car, which he snapped out of my hand before pointing a finger at me. He switched off the lights, closed the doors, which Danni went to the other side to do, and popped open the trunk.

I watched, leaning back against the tree that I had found just beyond the car as both the boys packed the duffel bags that were set in the trunk, with enough weaponry to supply an army but when Dean started looking frantically through the trunk, I remembered what I had taken. Moving away from my spot, I went in search of the items Dean was looking for. Finding them by the tire, where I had dropped the med kit, I picked up the leather pouch and the machete, tucking the med kit under my arm.

With an irritated look for touching his toys, Dean grabbed them, unrolled the pouch and looked at the tubes, all still intact. Sam reached out, ran his hand over my shoulder and went back to packing. When they were finally finished, we climbed that incline to reach the pavement and I watched Dean click on the flashlight, looking back at his car before spying the guard rail.

"Oh, come on, I just redid that paint job!" He growled as he walked over and knelt by it. I stopped in the middle of the road and looked over towards the path as Sam stepped up beside me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be touched or run away at that moment, but everything in me was on high alert, like I was waiting for a vamp to jump out of the woods again. "What the hell did we hit?"

"A wolf," I whispered and felt Sam's eyes on me as he turned his whole body. I licked my lips and looked up, shook my head and took a deep breath. "I came up to see what the hell it was, I mean, what was big enough to the damage to the marker but not leave anything behind but the blood.

"You came up here alone?" Sam questioned.

"Well, I had a gun, a machete and a pouch full of DMB, I thought I was pretty safe," I replied sarcastically and rolled my eyes. "You weren't awake for me to confess my stupid plan with either, so… not my fault." He opened his mouth to say something and that was when I realized why I was so hyped up, I could feel the headache from the adrenaline, mixed with the blow to the head starting to amp up since the rest of me was beginning to quiet down. I raised a hand as if to quiet him but I let it rest on his stomach, his eyes went soft, as if he understood my sudden snap. "I know, I have to be more careful, but you, all of you, were out cold, you were breathing and not bleeding and I needed to move, so I came up here. I thought I could figure out what to do next, but I just found the wolf."

"A wolf, there aren't any wolves in Oklahoma." Dean said softly and I swear I was constantly hearing a repeat of the same thing, but I pressed two fingers to the spot above my eye to calm myself. "Where is it?"

"In the woods, but, Dean, it's not a werewolf, it's just a dog." I sighed and watched him nod.

The way he was looking at me, with the same concern that matched Sam's, told me that he wasn't going to go investigate, at least not this time around. Dean walked over, placed a hand on my cheek and looked down into my eyes. I watched his flit back and forth and finally he sighed, hugged me gently and then walked over to Danni, leaving me standing there with Sam. There was something familiar in the way he did that, something that I couldn't put my finger on but, I know it reminded me of something I saw.

With a sigh, I looked up at Sam. "You ready?"

"Yeah, let's get out of the open and into some place we can lock down, at least until we figure out a way to get the Impala out." He took my hand, hiked the duffel up on the opposite shoulder and started in the direction that Dean and Danni were already headed.

The barn was dark, smelled of clean hay and farm equipment. It wasn't a bad scent, in fact it was very rich. Whatever they used the stuff for, it was clean, there was no scent of manure, not even of an animal anywhere around, and I squinted when both the men left Danni and I at the door while they flipped on the flashlights and went to find something useful.

The glow from the LED lanterns that they found started to illuminate the area and Danni and I grabbed the heavy wooden door and closed it tight. It had started to rain and the wind was kicking up. As soon as the boys cased the place, making sure that nothing was in the building, animal, human or otherwise, we found blankets and a comfortable space to cozy up.

Sam had found what looked like an old stall in the back of the building, far enough away from where Dean was cleaning his gun and checking supplies, and Danni had wrapped herself in the blanket. I smiled as Dean looked at her, rolled his eyes and moved closer, handing her a gun and the stuff to help him clean it.

With a grin, I shook my head and walked towards the back where Sam was.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

He might have disappeared to find a place to camp out, but I could see his silhouette as he paced back and forth in front of the lantern his hands up on his face, definitely thinking but I'm not so sure of what. I watched for a while, just taking in that stride, the quiet, angry alpha male stride that he kept up at an even pace, until he noticed me.

I had never seen something so primal before. He leaned his head was down, not all the way but as he lowered his hands from his cheeks, his eyes stared up at me from under the hair that fell from behind his ears. Those hands now fisted at his side, his gaze ran the length of me from head to toe and back before I finally saw a breath from him. He was intimidating, broad shoulders, wide chest, angling inward towards his hips, all muscle, all man and definitely hot as hell, especially in the tight tee-shirt that he wore, having stripped away that extra layer of the dark flannel shirt.

His shoulders moved with the breath, in fact his whole body became larger than life as he took in everything with every single rise of his chest, like a wolf breathing in the scent of his surroundings, and I watched his nose crinkle, making me wonder if he was just that…a wolf in Sam's clothing.

"You're angry," I whispered and listened to that grunt, one that came out almost as a growl, but he rolled his eyes, straightening up, eyes still locked on me. "Angry at what?" He shrugged, his lips becoming a thin line. "Ah, silent brooding type, I get it."

I took a step forward and watched the confusion cross his eyes, as if no one had ever dared to move closer when he looked like this, but he didn't move.

"Are you angry over the car? You really shouldn't be, you had no control over an animal putting us off the road." Nothing, no response. "Are you angry because you think you couldn't protect me from the vampire? Again, no control because you were unconscious."

I wasn't getting anywhere, his eyes didn't flinch, his body didn't move, no matter the question, and then I thought for a moment and found myself within arm's reach, his arms not mine.

"You're not mad at all," I whispered and shook my head, a light blinking behind his eyes before it faded, that was the only sign that he gave me. "You're holding back, afraid to lose control."

"I don't want to hurt you," he mumbled, barely audible through clenched teeth, every muscle in his body twitched as the restraint he kept on it. "The way I feel right now, Al, I could do some damage."

"You really think you're capable of that?" I gave him a small smile, the notion itself seemed as absurd as, well, finding Sam and Dean in our lives at the moment but he gave me a little nod. "Have you ever, I mean, done some damage on a woman before?"

"I never gave myself that opening," he growled and his eyes moved from me to the rafters of the building. "I've kept people at a distance," he smiled, not a fond loving one, but an acknowledgement that yeah, he could really do some harm, and his breath came out like a "ha". "I've got a lot inside me, Al, a lot of evil, and a lot of anger and…"

"You just keep it inside?" I only kept up with the questions because he was letting me, not moving to stop not growing more uncontrollable, not even so much as a movement in my direction, but he nodded. "Totally an unhealthy way to go."

"Yeah, bar fights are not my thing."

"Sex," I whispered and heard that growl from his chest. Yeah, that was his out, and what he meant by he could do some damage. "Ever hurt someone during that?" I watched as he slowly shook his head, the words not coming from him and I smiled. "Why do you think that you are going to do that with me?"

He rolled his eyes, I watched his jaw clench and his fingers dig deeper into his palm, white knuckles and all. I didn't get it, didn't understand his hesitation but then again, this was a different Sam, and a different animal all together. I moved closer to the light of the lantern and watched his eyes scan me over again. He stopped at my waist, his hands suddenly unclenched and his eyes widened.

"You're bleeding!" He huffed out and instantly the distance between us was gone.

"What?" I felt his hands on me, gently, like he was inspecting every part of my arms, then over to the top of my shirt, his fingers grazing the cuts that were slowly fading, I took his hand. "Sam, I'm not hurt."

He tugged me closer to the light, into that stall behind him and I watched the panic in his eyes as his shaking hand reached out towards my stomach. Looking down, finally able to see what the hell had him so up in arms, I realized. I was COVERED in blood.

"It's not mine!" I quickly realized what was going on. The man was in a panic over the fact that he could see nothing but red. His hands shook as his eyes became distant, he was shutting down, his walls were going up, but he was going through the motions of checking me over before I swiped his hands away. "I'm not bleeding. Sam, Jesus, it's not mine."

He wasn't stopping, he was inspecting and noting every little line on my body before he took hold of the shirt. I think that was when it happened, the wet stain solidified it for him, I was bleeding or at least that was all he registered and I growled.

"Listen, Moose!" I snapped and watched him move back from the name, yeah, probably not the best time to pull out the Crowley nickname but he wasn't listening. Kicking off my shoes, I grabbed the end of the light shirt and ripped it off over my head, exposing everything but what the bra covered. He stopped dead, his hands inches from my skin and he stared. The blood had soaked through onto my skin, but there wasn't a mark on me and I watched his lips part, the first sign of hope that this move, this insane half-assed move was going to help him. "It's not my blood, sweetheart! I'm fine."

His fingers finally made contact at my bare ribs, tracing the curve of my body gently as he reached the edge of my jeans and I took a deep breath in when he trailed them across the part of my stomach that held the red tint of color. His lips parted just a little more as his foot took one step closer. I could feel the heat that came from his body and looked up into his eyes, watching the curiosity there, the way they played over my skin.

"Sam, you're not going to do any damage." I reached out, letting my hands settle on the tight muscles of his lower arms, feeling his fingers twitch against my skin, and as I ran my own down the length of him. I finally grabbed his wrist and pushed his fingers against my skin, wanting to feel every part of the callous edges of them. Sam took a deep breath, closed his eyes just a little, as if suppressing something and then they folded into me, pulling me towards him. "Don't hold back, I'm not going to break."

That was his cue, the words he needed to hear, just enough encouragement to wrap around me as his lips claimed mine. I could feel his body shaking, one hand moving up to the spot between my shoulders, holding me to him as the other traveled down to the small of my back and I swear I heard a low moan come from somewhere deep inside him.

He sidestepped, bringing me closer to the lantern, closer to the blankets that he had set down on the bed of hay, but he suddenly released me and left me standing there for a moment as I heard him disappear. In the distance, not far off but enough that I couldn't make out what was said, I heard Dean and Sam exchange words, the sound of the faucet in an old tap run, and the water trickling down into a metal bucket.

When he came back, I watched him stop in the doorway to the stall, look me over and slowly, he made his way over to the blanket. I watched as he knelt down, sitting back on his heels, a towel in his hand and his eyebrows went up.

"Lay down," he whispered. It wasn't an order, just a friendly suggestion, one that I took my time obliging as those blue-green blazing eyes watched me possessively.

He licked his lips, watching me move, and then swallowed hard as I finally rested the length of the blanket. I tucked my hands up under my head and watched him as he took the towel, held it tightly in his hand for a moment before he dipped it in the water. I watched him catch his lower lip, as his eyes came to rest on mine.

"This is going to be cold," he said in just above a whisper, and he let out a small breath, "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry for the water being cold?" I smiled and watched the shy little grin appear on his cheek, but he was right, it was cold.

The tip of that towel hit my heated skin like an ice cube and I found myself sucking in my breath. One hand came down from behind my head and I let it grip his thigh, not that I had nails, but I'm sure he would have felt it if I did. The grin on his face widened as he brought the cloth across my stomach. He was washing away the blood, taking away the stain of the fight that I had been in and I finally relaxed enough to close my eyes.

His touch was gentle, the way he moved was full of thoughtful care, and before I knew just what was going on, he had moved from under my touch. I felt his hands on the button of my jeans, but at that moment, there was no way that I cared. The harsh material of the jeans was coated with the crimson liquid, stiffening the fabric as his fingers curled beneath the waist and I lifted my hips, letting him tug them down, eyes still closed.

It was when he nudged my knees apart that they flew open and I watched as he settled down between them, once again on his knees. His hand ran the length of the backside of each of my thighs, moving my legs until they were braced against his own, and that towel descended again. I felt his fingers on the inside of my legs, close to the cotton barrier that separated the flicker of his index finger of his left hand from the heat that my body let off in desire for him to move closer, but he just braced my leg as his right hand moved gently down.

Who would have thought the feeling of a cloth could be so much, almost too much, and I let out a small whimper as he moved both hands to the other leg, this time he switched, the right hand grasping the inner part of my thigh, the same finger grazing over the fabric as his left used the towel to clean away the memories.

I didn't know anything else except his presence, his touch and that cold cloth, not until his lips hit my stomach. Such a contrast from the rough dampness, his lips were warm and wet and they drew a path of fire until he was over the bra, across my neck and planted softly on my lips.

His finger hitched on the edge of my bra as my arms came down and my hand tangled in his hair, tugging him closer as he moved his mouth to capture mine, like a puzzle that just clicked together. I reached down, as his mouth ravaged mine in a slow tortuous way, and gripped the end of his shirt, pulling it up and away from his body.

When his skin touched mine, the feeling intensified. Sam was heat and desire, and oh so much more all rolled into one but that contact was what we both needed. Chaos erupted in a fury of lips, tongue and touch, as we moved together, removing the barriers between us, and I gasped as I felt the naked length of him resting against me in what seemed like an instant.

He sat back, and my body was instantly aware of something missing, but I watched the light from the lantern dim, heard the rip of the little foil packet and felt his arm against my thigh, moving carefully along his on length. A condom, good boy, I smiled to myself and shook my head. Now why hadn't I thought of that?

Sam's hand didn't come back to my waist, not even to rest on my hip, instead it slipped from him to the wet heat between us and with one flick of his fingers against the folds, my eyes rolled back and I could feel the world as it began to shatter, this all from a slight little touch. I reached for him, finding the tight muscles of his shoulders as I settled my hands on his skin and pulled up just a little, wanting to see what he was doing and the sight of him, as he knelt there hard and ready was almost as dangerous as looking up into those darkening eyes, but the feelings that his fingers alone sent soaring through me made my arms shake, and give out.

He moved like a ghost, suddenly upon me, moving me back down to the blanket with just his kiss and before I knew it, he had my thighs up, locking my legs behind him. I could feel him there, the tip just itching to move and he backed away, looking softly down at the kiss-swollen lips he had just left before his eyes met mine.

"I don't want…" I grabbed him by the hair, not wanting to hear that he thought he would hurt me when I was more than ready for him and I brought my hips up, closing that distance. He moaned, quiet loudly as he slipped in, the heat surrounded him and one hand suddenly grasped my hips. Buried deep, as far as he could go, he froze. Against my lips, I felt the shudder of his breath, "don't move."

"Sam," I pleaded, because him, being so close was killing me not to move.

"I swear if you move this will be done before it starts," he smiled. "Just…give me a second."

I waited, our eyes locked as his breathing matched mine and his lips moved, trying to find the words just as his hips began to rock. Slow, deliberately shallow movements that would have never been felt if it had been anyone else, but I could feel him, every part of him and he squeezed his eyes tightly, his teeth clenched as his forehead rested on mine.

"I want it slow and torturous." He smiled against my lips.

"Oh my God, Sam," I mumbled, feeling the shallow thrusts as he brushed his lips along mine.

"I need it," he confessed, "you'll never be like the others, so this…this is how I need it."

I understood what he was saying, I wasn't a conquest, it was so much deeper than that. I wasn't one of the girls at the bar, a fast heavy action that needed a quick release. No, he wanted to savior it, draw it out, but damn did I need that boy to move.

My grip on his hair tightened as his lips moved to my throat, kissing long a line there until I felt his teeth graze across my skin. Did he just know, or was it the sound of my reply to that small action that made his hips buck and he slid further out than he intended? He wasn't so gentle when his hips slipped closer, and I tilted my head back. My God, this man was pure sin, and I was loving every second of it, but he slowed, inching in and out further with each sway of his hips.

I pressed my hand against the back of his head, encouraging the feeling of his teeth on my shoulder and when he bit down, just enough to shock and draw a bit of pleasured pain, I gasped and my hips rose to meet his.

I was done, so totally done, there wasn't a need for slow and steady. I understood what he needed and I was good with it, but I needed more, more of him and the way he moved, the feelings he was dragging to the surface.

"Please, Sam!" I growled against his ear as I ran my fingers down his back, searching for the curve of his ass and when I found it, my legs moved until I had him around the hips instead. The sudden movement, the change in angle made him gasp and his darkened eyes came up to focus on mine. "Trust me, there's nothing you can do that's going to hurt, just…please."

His breathing was heavy, focused but he watched as I pleaded and a small smile crossed his face. His hips swayed back, and that first thrust forward sent starburst behind my eyes as the pure pleasure of it had me arching up against him. My reaction told him the one thing he needed to really understand, the same thing I had been telling him all along, I wasn't going to break, and he wasn't going to do any harm.

He was amazing, like a symphony, highs and lows, peaks and valleys and so many emotions. He brought me to the edge and back over and over until there was no way I was holding on anymore. His lips descended on my neck once more, catching me by the shoulder as I let my head drop back, my hand full of his soft brown hair. I could feel myself careening over the edge, holding my breath as the wave of shear erotic pleasure of his body mixed with the near torturous pain of his teeth on my skin.

His hand slipped under my back, raising me up as I felt him swell more. There was no way that he could get any harder, fill me anymore but then he was coming undone, the low noises that vibrated from his chest, and again where his lips pressed sent another wave of pure ecstasy through me as I followed him down until his shaking arms gave out, until his body seemed to crash down and he released my shoulder.

His lips danced over my skin as I untangled my hand from his hair, just enough to start running my fingers through the sweat-drenched locks and I found the small of his back, slick with exertion, and I couldn't help the smile that graced my face.

Sam picked his head up, his hair sticking everywhere to it and I reached up, brushing it back as his fingers traced over my cheek. The smile that formed on his lips was a new one, like a wall had crumbled down from just this one little, magnificent, undeniable connection and I watched the hard, broken man that I had taken into my arms, that I had stitched up, become soft and whole.

There were no words, nothing we had to say to each other and his kiss became soft and gentle once again, even as my eyes fluttered closed, letting the feeling of security in his arms take over. His mouth trailed back down to my shoulder but I felt him slip out, and after kissing what I could imagine was red love bite, he rested his cheek against my chest, wrapping his arms around me the best he could, and somehow found a blanket to shield us from the sudden chill that our drying, cooling bodies felt.

If it wasn't bad enough that it had started to rain before we ventured off to the small hiding spot that Sam and I were currently nestled in, now it was starting to thunder. The first sound shook the whole building and jostled me awake, but I didn't move. I was safe and secure wrapped in the arms of a man who held me protectively. I blinked away the sleep, as my eyes tried to stay open and focused as my hand brushed the soft fine hair that matted under my fingers. I closed my eyes, let my hand rest and pushed my body closer to Sam.

That was when I felt it, the eyes on me. It wasn't so much of a sense of being watched as it was a familiar feeling of a protective guard, that and I could just smell him. There was a distinct light hint of Dean in the air as the wind flowed through the barn and the man was standing upwind. He smelled of leather and gun cleaner and just that subtle hint of tobacco, but he was there. I was going to turn, to show him I was wide awake but I heard the sound of footfalls on the hay and knew that Danni was on her way over.

"You know, she's going to start to think that you're a pervert, or worse a stalker if you keep coming over here." The annoyance in Danni's voice was obvious, and I cringed at it because I knew that she wanted him, and he…he just kept coming after me. Not that there was anything there except his overbearing protective streak but it definitely took away from her time with him and I suppressed a sigh.

"Believe it or not, Dan…" her name dripped with sarcasm as it left his mouth, "I was looking at my brother."

"So, that makes it less weird and perverted?" Danni retorted but there was a smile in her voice.

"Look at him," Dean whispered, his voice suddenly muffled but still clear enough to hear. He had ducked down behind the wall. "Really look at the way he's sleeping. Do you know how long it's been since I've seen that look?"

"Dean," she let out a breath and I could almost imagine her reaching up to touch him. "I…"

"Almost a decade, if not more," Dean answered before she could continue. "My brother hasn't been at peace since Jessica died, since Dad went missing, since Cas flew the coop." It wasn't a new revelation for me, at least about the fact that Sam had seen some pain, but John was 'missing", not dead? "I knew there was something, something about her, a feeling , but this…Dan, you don't get this. It's amazing."

"Still, you could wait until they're at least dressed to stand and admire." I caught the sound of Dean's canvas jacket rustle as he placed his arms back on the wall. "There's something else?"

"The vamps," he admitted. "I wish I could tell you that my only reason for standing here is to memorize the look on my brother's face, the happiness he found at this very moment, but the truth is, I can't let either of them out of my sight."

"You're not the only protector," Danni huffed.

"I have to be." Dean seemed to be stressed and I just wanted to roll over and take him in my arms, which made me think twice about it since there was nothing on under this blanket, but the emotion in his voice called to me. "Danni, you could get hurt, you could get killed and I've already got Ali and Sammy so deep into this mess that I don't know how I'm going to get them out."

"You did this? You brought the vamps to the hotel, brought Sam to the nest?" Danni was never very subtle, she always spoke her mind and damn was she demanding answers.

"Yes," he snapped, "as a matter of fact, I did! I brought Sammy on this hunt, I was the one that suggested it and it was the only reason we left the bunker. We were set there, we were perfectly happy and content sitting around on our asses drinking beer, but I got restless. Me, not him, and I dragged his sorry ass to Ohio, and I put him and Ali in danger because I'm the one that screwed up on the hunt."

"How? Exactly how?"

"It doesn't matter, okay!" He was getting mad, I could always tell when he came out with something to say and ended it with that one word. 'Okay' was a code word for drop it, but Danni wouldn't drop anything, she needed to know. Dean sighed, apparently the look on Danni's face matched anything she might have spoken. "Sam and I were in the building," his voice was muffled as he moved behind the wall again, probably to sit on the bales of hay that rested there. "We split up, did our usual, but I had misjudged, I thought the intel was good, thought we had the right number but instead of nine, there were almost two dozen. Sam got to them first, he engaged, I brought up the rear, total opposite MO than we usually do. It's always me first.

"Sam was hit, one of the suckers took a stab at him with their claws, drew blood, but Sam did what he does best, he kicked ass. We were still outnumbered, but cut theirs in half. It didn't matter, they had his scent, not mine." Dean's voice was full of self-loathing and I found myself focusing on Sam's face. If was awake, he didn't show it and his breathing was quiet and even.

I knew it wasn't easy for Dean to confess any of it, hell, I wouldn't have been able to open up to a complete stranger, but I had seen the trust that had started to grow between them, and this was just another step in the right direction, even if he couldn't move past the whole making sure he was within ten paces of us.

"When they came at us at the hotel, I had gone for coffee, Sammy had gone to check on Ali, but I didn't know that. I had no idea that he had even made contact with her in the first place, not until she said something about him knocking. I heard the glass window shatter when I walked out of the shop, I watched that thing move into the room, Ali's room." Dean paused and I heard Danni move amongst the bedding and assumed she sat by him. "Have you ever seen your friend pissed off? Because if you haven't trust me, it's damn near scary. Sammy wouldn't have survived if it wasn't for her, and she didn't even know what the hell she was doing. She just took that blade and swung with everything she had, swung at a monster that wasn't supposed to exist, but it cut her, Danni, it cut her bad enough to leave a scent and I didn't know what to do. My mistake, my carelessness brought an innocent woman into this mess."

"I'm sorry, do you know who you're talking about?" Danni laughed. Okay, laughing was one thing but that laugh? That was a 'boy you just screwed yourself' laugh.

"She's not as tough as you think," Dean grumbled, "this isn't a line of work for novice, Danni, I don't care who you think I'm talking about but she's not going to survive long out there alone."

"What did she do after the vampire attacked, did she run? Did she scream and carry on like some pansy little girl?" I heard that deep throated growl from Dean that told me he was about to hit his end. "No, she stayed and made sure that your brother didn't die. She patched him up, she stayed with you, she was scared as hell but she didn't run, Dean!"

"That doesn't mean she can do it on her own." I could almost picture him rubbing his face.

"She's not on her own anymore, don't you get that?"

"No." He admitted.

"The moment… the second… she chose to stay with you, and Sam, that wasn't her needing your protection, that was her choosing to keep you by her side, because if you really understood who you were talking about, you would know she would dump your ass in a New York minute without looking back and you would never find her." Okay, so Danni was over exaggerating because, come on, these are the Winchesters, they'd probably find me before I hit the ground running. "Think about it, Dean, think really hard."

Dean stood, I heard him shift to his feet and he let out a breath, louder than usual. "Trust me, I have."

"Then you know she doesn't need your protection, she just needs you," Danni replied and I heard her hand slap against his stomach, not hard enough to hurt, "and obviously, she's not letting Sam go anywhere anytime soon. So suck it up, Buttercup and leave the lovers alone. They're not gonna disappear!"

Danni spun on her heals and walked away. The sound of his shirt catching on the wood told me he was looking over the wall once more and I moved my hand, gathered the blanket up around my chest and turned as much as I could to look at him. I caught his green eyes in what little light there was, and watched as he looked over me, his lips just parted enough to look as though he was lost in thought, but he caught my open eyes, snapped his jaw shut, eyed over my bare shoulder before pressing his lips together and he disappeared into the night.

I closed my eyes, let out the breath that I didn't know I was holding and reached my arm across Sam, settling my hand down on his hip under the blanket, his free arm, the one that wasn't cradling me blazed a trail with his fingers along my arm and rested on my neck as he kissed me on the forehead. I hadn't even realized he was awake.

"My brother, the over thinker." Sam mumbled and removed his hand from my neck to rub his eye before putting it back.

"That was one intense conversation." I giggled, trying to lighten the mood as I kissed his skin, just to the side of his nipple, which had goose bumps rising. "Does he really think that way? That he was the one that did this?"

"That's just Dean, everything's his fault even when it's not, and it's his responsibility, even when it clearly isn't." Sam's voice was low, fresh with sleep and just on the edge of irritated. He seemed to wiggle lower onto the blanket, and turn on his side before giving my waist a little nudge, and I flipped over to put my back against him. I could feel every inch of him as he molded to me and pulled me in tighter. "Dean's right, you can't do this on your own."

I smiled as he pressed his lips against the tender spot on my shoulder and then kissed his arm. "Danni's right too, you know, I'm not on my own anymore. I chose you, both of you, and her."

"At some point, the rest of the nest is going to come for us." I felt the soft tickle of his breath as he nuzzled against the back of my neck.

"So when that happens, we'll fight." I whispered, and let out a breath as his hand snaked over my stomach and up to catch my cheek, turning my head just a bit so that he could capture a kiss.

"Damn right we will." He growled against me and settled back down, his lips once again against my shoulder.

Sleep didn't come, nothing but the sound of the rain and the howl of the wind surrounded me, even with my protector at my back, I couldn't get over the feeling that the fight would be sooner than they thought.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I stood in the middle of the road, facing the back end of the tractor that Dean had managed to drive down the road from the barn. I was in charge of watching the cars while Danni, pretty proficient in farm equipment, helped Sam and Dean get the chains around Baby in order to haul her up, the problem was, it was about six in the morning, I was sure that there was bound to be traffic at some point.

It didn't really bother me that I was up there alone, knowing that the vamps that were chasing us were hiding out until the sun was nice and high, but the thought of the wolf in the woods to my back and the fact that there was another fanged creature in two pieces down at the bottom of the incline sent my hairs on end.

I swayed side to side, trying to keep myself in one spot so that I didn't take off running for the hills, or back to the woods, because something about leaving that animal exposed was wrong. It also kept the bruise on my back from going stiff.

On a better note, the little bit of sway in my hips reminded me of Sam and my hand came up to press on the small spot where he left a mark. If Danni and Dean had noticed it, neither had said anything but I was sure that it was visible from under the neck of the crew top I wore. Sam, though, beamed with pride at the fact that I rolled my eyes every time his finger brushed it, and since the first time I reacted, the contact he made in any passing motion was directed to that one spot.

Danni topped the knoll and looked at me as I stood there, eyes darting in one direction or another and slowly she walked over.

"What's up?" She questioned, watching me suspiciously. I finally stopped moving, grounded myself and shook my head. "Bullshit."

"Every hair on my arms and neck are standing on end, like this place is full of…I don't know something. It's like the field the other night." I shrugged. "Maybe it's nothing."

"It's never nothing, you got your gun?" Ever the big sister, I rolled my eyes and watched as her hand went out. Huffing, I pulled it from the back of my jeans and placed it gently in her hands as she stared me in the eyes, blue to blue contact and then she smiled. Looking it over, she unclipped the mag, checked the bullets and slid it back in place. "Just keep it handy."

"Always," I sighed as she handed it back and I tucked it away. "It doesn't help with the feeling though."

"I'm sure it's nothing, at least nothing major." Dean and Sam made their way up, whispering to each other but I could tell by the look on their faces that whatever the conversation was, it wasn't a topic Danni and I needed to be involved in. "And then again, it could always be something with those two."

"Would it be wrong to say I think we should leave?" I whispered, stepping up to her and Danni's head whipped around to look at me. She placed a hand on my shoulder and her eyes filled with confusion.

"We're moving as soon as we get the car out," she whispered but I could hear it in her voice, she knew what I mean. "What would make you think that was in anyway a good idea?"

"John's not dead," I answered and she shrugged, not understanding the reference. "You don't get it, John didn't die to bring Dean back, not in this life, which means that there is so much that is off here, not Sam…or Dean…but the timeline, like the way Bobby died, it's off."

"And that scares you?"

"It freaking terrifies me, and the worst part is, I don't know why." I watched as Sam's gaze traveled from the controls of the tractor, where Dean sat playing with the arms, to me. He looked me over, his brow creased with worry and I watched him give that small tilt of his head, as if he were asking me what was wrong without the words. I broke his glance, turned to Danni and sighed. "Something is very, very wrong."

With that, I turned and walked down towards the guardrail, this whole area was wrong, but it might have just been the memories of the night before. Why then, would the mention of John missing bother me so much? In the show he had been gone almost eight years, and the boys had progressed to where ours were now, with the Men of Letters bunker, but if here John was only missing, then why weren't they looking for him, or Cas for that matter.

I leaned against the rail, facing the woods, letting my eyes scan over the area and I noticed the small stream below me. It would have come out just the other side of the Impala on the furthest side of the road, but it wasn't that water that caught my attention, it was the blue color beside it that had me curious.

With a glance back at the other, because you know I'm a glutten for punishment and yeah, seeing what was down there had my curiosity spiking. I watched as Sam stood at the edge of the asphalt, waving for Dean to continue as both Dean and Danni argued over what was the best way to haul her up. Yeah, stupid plan, stupid idea but once again, they were busy and I didn't have time to give them a heads up.

Avoiding the path where the wolf was, I made my way down the increasingly sharp slope to the water below. Looking back up, it didn't seem as far as I thought, but then again depth perception from up high was never my strong point and I couldn't tell you how many feet I had traveled down. I unsnapped the band that held the spectrum in place, thanking everything above that I had thought of hooking it to my belt that morning, and slide the rainbow colored blade from its sheath.

Judging where I was up above to where I thought I might have seen the blue…whatever it was…I made my way down stream, heading right towards it.

When I rounded the bend, which didn't look like the way the stream flowed higher up, I was hit with the stench of rotting meat and knew I was onto something I really shouldn't have been. Every thought in my head yelled at me to run but there was nothing stopping my feet from going forward. I grabbed the end of my shirt and pulled it up around my nose, death, and the scent of it never bothered me, but this one, this was off.

When I stopped, I finally connected that piece of blue to a sleeve, and the sleeve to an arm, the arm to a torso and finally I landed on the deteriorated face of whoever this might have been. I stared down at the body, assuming he by the clothing, must have been down there for weeks and by the bite patterns that I could make out on the torn skin, he was why the wolf was down here in the first place.

I was so engrossed with the body, so intrigued by the story of how he might have gotten there, how he might have died, that I never noticed the noise behind me, the footfalls that snuck up, not until an arm grasped me quickly around the waist and the smell of a freshly smoked cigarette invaded my senses.

Dean pulled me up against him, his cheek against the side of my head, and I smiled, because the closeness of him was never enough. I felt his hand spread wide against my hip, opposite of where his arm had come around and when those fingers curled against me, he tugged me back further. My first thought went to what Sam would think of his brother pinning me there, but Dean didn't make a threatening move, he never made any kind of sexual gesture, just stared down at the body as he breathed shallow breaths to keep the stench out of his nose.

"I'm going to put a GPS on you," he growled in my ear, like he was scolding me, and I couldn't help the smile that formed on my cheeks. "Or, better yet, shackles."

"Curiosity." I whispered as I felt his free hand slide down my arm to cover the hand that held the hilt of the blade.

"You know what they say about that, Ali," his cheek brushed against my head and I assumed he was looking at the surrounding area. "Come on, let's get topside."

"What about this guy?" I shrugged and moved to turn against him, but he held me in place.

"Not our case," his voice had no feeling in it, no emotion, like he was just going to brush off the fact that there was a body by the river, and finally his hand released my waist and slipped away, trailing fingers over my stomach as he went. It seemed like a way for him to keep grounded, as if he were afraid that when he let go completely, that I wouldn't be there. "Remember, not our monkeys."

"How do you know?" I questioned, turning to him as the hand that still held tightly to mine tugged me towards the hill.

"There's no sign of monsters." He answered, looking me up and down and finally I watched his eyes rest on the spot on my neck. With a slow release of his breath, he reached out and gently tugged the neck of my shirt aside. The corner of his mouth turned up in a shallow grin and his eyes moved back to lock on mine. "Sammy's girl."

"Really?" I couldn't suppress the giggle that came out when he said that.

"Only time I've ever seen him "mark" someone." Dean shook his head as he raised his eyebrows, his finger sliding over the mark, like he was admiring the feel of it.

"You make it sound like we're mated for life," I rolled my eyes and watched that smile fade. "Dean?"

"He's usually so very careful," the older brother sighed. This comment made me wonder just what the hell Dean was talking about and I watched as he shook his head a little. "The whole vampire scent thing?"

"Oh, and we're back on that again," I tugged my hand out of his, stashed the blade back in the sheath and started to walk by but he grabbed my arm and spun me to back towards him.

"It's not just the vampires, Al, it's everything," he snapped.

"That makes _no_ sense, Dean!" I watched as he rubbed his eyes and released my arm. His hand came away from his face, and he held it out pointedly as if he were about to give me directions.

"Monsters can scent people. You. Me. Sam. Hell, they could even pick up on Danni if they wanted to, just by jumping on one of us, but this," he reached out, gently ran his fingers across the mark and withdrew to fist up his hand. "This is like a beacon, it can draw them to Sam, and even from Sam it can draw them to you."

"It's just a hicky, Dean, it will go away." I watched the smile cross his face as he stuffed his hands way down into his pockets as if he were trying hard to keep control of himself.

"It might be to you but to them, those monsters, that's a mark, and they will use it to get to your mate." He snapped, shaking his head. I rolled my eyes once more and turned my back to him. "Why do you think we are the way we are, Ali? No attachments, no commitments and sure as hell no marks."

I could hear him following me up the incline, one that I took my time with as I tried to keep my calm but he was pushing it, just by what he was saying. The fact that he was even hinting that one night with Sam was putting us all in danger. I couldn't help but feel he was attacking me for some reason.

"So that's the reason behind the one night stands, the wham-bam-thank-you life you lead?" I turned to look at him as I stopped at the top of the hill, just before I reached the asphalt and looked down at him. He paused, exactly the right height for me to see into his eyes and he nodded. "Is that really the reason, because you want to protect these people, or is it because you're too damned stubborn to let go of what you keep holding onto, the medieval notion that you are the only one that can take care of these things, that women can't protect themselves? That we're just some novice in this job?"

"You think you can do this alone?" Dean growled, his voice suddenly deep enough to vibrate through me. "If you think you're strong enough to take on the nest alone, go for it, Sugar be my guest, but if you drag Sam into it…"

"What, you'll hunt me down too?" I whispered and watched him lean forward just a bit.

"Hunting you down would be the least of your problems if something ever happened to Sammy because of your careless, reckless, inability to see what the hell is right in front of you."

"I know what hell I'm doing Dean." I snapped and watched that smartass grin form on his face. "I know all about what a vampire can do once it has you beneath its bite, and I sure as hell know how to kill it."

"Did your little show teach you that?"

I shook his head at him, my brows going up, and I could feel the anger burning in my gut. He had no idea how I knew, but that didn't stop the next set of events from happening anyway. I closed my eyes just for a brief second before I turned away to look at Sam, who was standing by the now topside trunk of the Impala, and at Danni, who was a bit confused over the argument. I was fuming and I had no idea why, but that little threat, the possibility that I would put any of them in harm's way set me off like nothing else and I found myself swinging before I knew what I was doing.

My fist connected full force with Dean's jaw, and I watched as he was thrown off balance, not by the force of it but by the surprise and I walked down towards him as he tumbled back, landing on his ass. He looked up at me in shock, as I stood still on the incline but just at the edge of his feet. His eyes were wide and his hand came up to his cheek.

Breathing hard, trying to control myself, I reached behind me and pulled out the Walther. He watched in confusion as I unclipped the mag, emptied the chamber and dropped all three piece down on the ground between his legs.

"You don't know a damn thing about me, Winchester, and you're right, I don't think I can do this on my own," I growled lowly, and watched him stare at the gun, "But I'm sure as hell going to try." I turned and walked back up to the edge of the asphalt, before turning to look at him. "We're done…Dean! I'm not Charlie, I'm not the little sister you never wanted, I don't need your protection and I don't need you up my ass. So don't follow me, keep Sammy safe, but leave me the hell alone."

I moved away from them, back down the road towards the barn where I snatched my coat off the ground on the way by and slipped it on. I could feel the confusion that flowed through me, not sure of what the hell just happened, or what I was doing, I certainly didn't understand why I just PUNCHED Dean in the chin, but the hand around my arm had me turning with a swing again.

This time, Sam caught my arm but weaved just in case I continued through with it. He looked down at me, didn't say anything, his eyes hard and cautious and I shook my head.

"I don't want to leave you, but I can't stay, not…" I lost my words and fought back the tears. "I didn't mean to hit him."

"Oh, I think he probably had it coming," Sam smiled and moved the hand that held my arm down to catch my fingers, that grin widening as he glanced over the redness that was forming on my knuckles. "You don't have to leave."

"I do, and you need to stay." I whispered and slipped from his grasp. I watched the heartbreak in his eyes and that sent the tears flowing as I swallowed and took a step back. "Stay with your brother, Sam, stay and protect him, take care of the nest and when it's all done, come and find me."

I turned quickly and started to walk away once again, but his arms were around me, hugging me tightly, folding me into him and I closed my eyes.

"If I do this, if I let go and you get hurt," he growled in my ear and I smiled through the tears.

"You'll live," I answered and turned in his arms.

"No," he whispered, leaning down to put his forehead against mine, "I won't, not after you, not after last night."

"So what do I do, just go back, just wait?"

"When did you ever wait for anything?" Danni's voice picked up and I glanced over as she stepped up beside us, Dean behind her and I narrowed my eyes at him, but she blocked my view as Sam stood straight. "Seriously, in all the time we've talked, you couldn't wait, you had to do what you had to right then and there, so why wait now?"

"What do you want me to do, hunt them down?" I laughed and shook my head. "No," I sighed, "no, you're right, I don't wait, but what I want to do now is go back to the house, change my damned clothes, take a freaking shower and go to Lawrence like we had planned."

"Wait, you're going to Lawrence?" Sam questioned, looking between us, as his arms slipped away but his hand caught mine before I could escape.

"We have a date with a certain black car." Danni smiled, which got me to grin.

"And you think that's a good idea?" Dean asked as he stepped up by Danni and looked down at her. Good, keep your eyes to yourself, was the only thing I could think of.

"Plans aren't changing." I growled and watched him turn to me, his eye narrowing at my reply but he looked down at the red swelling sight of my knuckles and sighed. I turned to Sam and shrugged. "So, can you get us back to Vinita? We'll take Dan's car into the city."

"You're not going alone," Dean piped up, apparently my hit to his jaw had done nothing to get my point across.

"So shut up and come with!" I snapped and slipped out of Sam's grasp, "or sit at the garage and play with your gun, either way, we're still going."

I heard the frustration in Sam's huff as I walked back towards the Impala and climbed into the backseat, closing the door tightly behind me. Dean, somewhere in the muffled distance yelled about slamming the door but I just put my head back and closed my eyes. Danni slid in beside me, Sam grabbed the tractor and headed back to the garage, and Dean grumbled as he closed the driver door and started the engine.

"Hey, you want coffee or something on the way back?" Danni whispered and just shook my head. "You gonna be okay?"

And there is was again, that question. Did I tell her about the nightmare from my past, the one that set me up to know just what to do in this situation, the one that exposed me to this world that I pushed off as being something in my imagination? Did I let her in on the secret that though the lake had never actually happened to me as an adult, it did haunt me as a child?

"Nope," was all I gave her, and I heard Dean sigh in the front seat before he put the car in gear and we were pulling away from the curb. It was then, at only that moment, that I wondered what they had done with the body and I opened my eyes to see the set of green ones that stared at me through the rearview mirror. I swallowed, closing my eyes once more, kicked off my shoes and pulled my feet up to my chest, resting them on the seat that was more than big enough to fit four of me on it. "Wake me up when we get to the house."

"Ali?" Danni whispered concerned, but I just snuggled in deeper as I pressed my cheek against the coolness of the seat.

Danni grabbed the bags and the Escape from the house and followed Dean up to the garage where he pulled Baby in and Sam closed the door behind him. I didn't look at any of them as I grabbed the duffel that Danni handed me and headed towards the bathroom, but I stopped just before I and looked at the bandages that sat on the counter.

I turned slowly, setting my stuff down and looked at Sam, who was leaning against the back of the car with his arms crossed, a knowing smile on my face and I just gave him a "well?" look before he pushed off from the car and made his way over. Danni, who was standing at the table digging out the necessities for coffee and the leftover muffins from the day before, gave me a sly smile and before she went back to work, and as Sam stepped up beside me, I looked over at Dean, who was running his fingers along the scuffed paint on the passenger's side. Dean peeked up at me, his lips forming a bit of a frown and he only held my gaze for a second before going back to whatever it was he was doing.

Sam smiled and took my wrist. "Come on." With a gentle tug, and a handful of the medical supplies, he pulled me into the bathroom and shut the door as I leaned back against the wall. To create some resemblance of privacy, he turned on the shower before turning to me. "What the hell happened back there?"

"He was being a smartass and I clocked him." I answered bluntly.

"And you told him to stay the hell away from you?" I shrugged, as if it weren't a big deal, which at the time it really wasn't but I didn't remember half of what the fight was about now that he brought it up. "I don't even know what to say."

"There's nothing to say, Sam, I mean, we argued, I hit him, he fell on his ass and I told him to go to hell, that's pretty much the gist of it." I shrugged and reached out for his shirt. Sam backed away, covering himself with one arm as he put up a finger to ward me off. "I don't want to play General Hospital, Sam, just let me look, let me take a shower and I don't know, get on with things."

"You're not going to be able to move on from this when you have to look at Dean for the next few days and you're both pissed at each other."

"I'm not pissed at him!" I snapped. "I swung at him, and now I'm over it, he just needs to stay the hell away from me!" I reached out and grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer as he smiled and moved his arm, and then removed his shirt. "Now, how much damage did we do last night?"

"I'm not worried about my stitches," Sam whispered, his fingers running through my hair as I placed one hand against his stomach, tightening the skin, not that there was much needed, before I started to remove the tape with the other. "You two cannot stay like this forever."

"Why does it matter that your brother and I are on speaking terms?" I looked up at him as I watched him grimace when I tugged on the tape. Yeah this section had been on a bit too long. Aggravated with process of the tape, Sam took it in his fingers and ripped it off, but the gauze still held. I smile as he groaned in pain as it took some of those fine hairs with it and he rolled his eyes. "So, why?"

"Because you two care about each other, as hard as it is to believe that Dean cares about anyone, he really does worry about you." I thought back to the comment that I made. I wasn't Charlie, I wasn't that fiery red head LARPer that wanted…needed the Winchesters, at least I didn't want to be, but I was wrong. "You don't realize how much you've gotten under his skin, do you?"

"I know he's gotten under mine," I mumbled and grabbed a cloth, wetting it from the shower as I used it to help get the gauze to release from his skin as I pulled it back. "Sam, Dean and I…"

"Stop," he whispered, placing his lips against my head, "whatever you're thinking about him, just stop. He's not the man you think he is."

"What happened to your dad?" I whispered and knew that the topic was going to throw him off. Sam sighed and his hands rested on my shoulders for a moment before he gently rubbed my upper arms.

"The line you told Dean, about Dad's hunting trip, yeah we found him," Sam sighed, but stopped talking the instant I stopped caring for the stitches. I saw how this was going to go and once I started back up with my task, the words started to flow from him. "He wasn't the same, not after Meg, not after the hospital."

"He gave the demon the Colt?" I asked softly.

"Yeah, he did, and it made good on its promise, Dean was alive and well, and healed but Dad didn't die." I looked up at him. "I assume that's why you're asking, because in the show, he did?"

"Yeah, he traded his life for Dean's because Tessa needed a soul." I watched Sam nod and then his lips were back against my head. "So, what happened?"

"Dad was possessed, not by the yellow eyes but something else, something darker," Sam let out his breath against me and I closed my eyes, letting it sink in as I finally got the last of the bandage to release. "We tracked him for years, but he just disappeared, like off the radar."

"So you stopped looking?" Sam stepped back, looked at the way that his stitches looked, still all intact and then his eyes rested on mine and he gave me a half-smile.

"You never stop looking for someone, I mean really looking, you just have other paths you have to follow." He whispered as if it were just another day in his book, but I couldn't get it because I never lost a dad, not that way, not to a demon. "So, am I okay, Doc?"

"They look good, but they need to air out." I whispered and cleaned around them with the cloth. Stepping back, I let out the breath that I was holding and shrugged. "Let it dry and when I get out of the shower, we'll put one back on."

"Yeah," he said softly, grabbed his shirt from where he had placed it and slowly pulled it on. With one hand on my waist, he leaned down and kissed me, brushing his lips gently across mine. "I'll see you when you're done."

And with that, he disappeared out the door, leaving me in a steam filled room with nothing but my thoughts, and those of Dean.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

As the shower cascaded over me, I couldn't help but scold myself. I put my head back against the wall, let it wash over my skin, at points turning so hot that it felt like needles and then just as cold that my fingers would turn numb. The things I said to Dean ran over in my mind.

Charlie! I brought Charlie into this, even if she hadn't died the same way as in the show, she still died and she was still their friend, but I was hurting and I wanted Dean to hurt just as much.

The problem was the reason I wanted him to feel it wasn't because I was mad at him, it was because I thought he was the only one who could handle it. Really, like that man needed anything else to feel pain over, and now he had what I said to him in the back of his mind, or the front every time he saw me.

There was a knock on the door and I put my head down against the shower wall, my forehead pressed against the wet, cold tiles.

"I'll be out in a minute," I mumbled, pretty sure it wasn't loud enough for them to hear but the knob turned and the door clicked open. "All right! I'm getting out!"

"Probably not a good idea," Dean's deep voice penetrated the sound of the water in my ears and I put my hands up to steady myself, and keep from flinging the curtain open.

"What are you doing in here?" I growled, and I wanted to kick myself. I just was internally bitching because I had let in on him and now I was snapping. "I mean, I'm in the shower and your brother is outside."

"Who do you think told me to come in?" This made me stop, shake my head and groan. "Hey, now, if I was interrupting, you should have said something."

"Shut up!" I teased and listened to him sit down, and the only reason I knew he had sat was because the seat cover on the toilet squeaked. "Why did he send you in?"

"Are you really doing a photo shoot with an Impala?" He replied.

"We're both in the bathroom right now because your brother sent you in here and you're going with a photo shoot? That's your burning question?" I snarked and rolled my eyes. "Yes, we're doing one with an Impala that, remarkably, looks just like yours, minus the scuffs on the quarter panel, and has a trunk full of fake hunting props."

"Why?"

"Because it's fun, Dean." I mumbled and finally had enough. I reached out my arm out and snatched the towel off the sink just as I turned off the shower. Once dried and wrapped, covering from under my arms down to just above my knees, I stepped out and stood with my back against the porcelain sink. "Face to face, why did you come in?"

He looked me over once, let his eyes settle on the fading mark on my shoulder and sighed. I watched as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees before rubbing his chin. I waited for him to finish, gathering his words and finally he sat up and looked at me.

"I don't know what to say, except," he shrugged, "I meant every word."

"You son of a bitch!" I snapped.

"Hey, if you think you are more than capable of saving your own ass, I'm not going to stop you or pretend that I think you're right." Dean stood and walked over to me, his arms crossed as he look down over every naked inch of my upper half before his eyes landed on mine. "You will never be close to the hunter that Charlie was, and I don't give a shit how she died on your little show, or who the hell you think you are, but you swing at me again, I'll knock you on your ass."

Dean opened the door and looked at me one more time before he went to step out. I knew I was about to push my luck but I was damned if that man was going to have the last word.

"Were you scared?" I questioned and watched him stop. I turned to stare at him as he stood straight and waited. "Were you scared when John whispered in your ear that you might have to kill Sam if he kept down the road he was on, or were you just waiting for the opportunity to present itself so that you could finally be rid of the responsibility of your little brother?"

He turned towards me, backed me up against the sink and placed on hand on each side, grasping the counter with white knuckles. I could hear the growl low in his stomach as he pinned me there, waiting, just waiting for me to make the wrong move but I didn't cave.

"You think that you're the only one who has ever had to deal with the idea of having to put someone down that was completely out of control?" I whispered, locking my eyes on him, but I let my arms relax as I felt the anger and the hatred build in me. "Do you think for one second that you were the only soul on this planet that had the burden of keeping someone else from slipping to a side that might bring about the end of their life, or force you to be the one to end it?"

"What are you talking about?" He whispered, but it was more of hiss as I leaned closer to him, a tear sliding down my cheek.

"Try being the one who has to make that decision for yourself!" I murmured. "Try being the person who teeters on the edge of sanity debating if you are too weak to save, not strong enough to keep fighting, that you are the evil that needs to be put down. Try being the one that stops yourself from doing every dark and twisted thing that pops into your mind, and then, Dean, after you've tried all of that, then tell me what you would do."

The suddenness of my hands pressing against his chest as I pushed him back gave him no time to react when I moved out of the room and grabbed my bag by the door. Sam looked up as I walked by, headed towards the loft, but he didn't say anything until Dean started to follow me.

"What the hell did you do? I sent you in there because you wanted to talk to her, to straighten this crap out, not piss her off more." That was Sam's voice, loud enough to echo through the garage.

"Get out of my way, Sammy!"

"What the hell, Dean!" Deb growled and I heard her footsteps coming closer as I reached the top of the loft and started to change. She crested the steps just as I pulled the shirt over my head and stopped. "Ali?"

"I told you I couldn't stay." I took a deep breath, packed everything back in my bag and turned to her. I must have looked like I was scared shitless because she started to approach me very carefully. "Not with him."

"Why? What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?" I stumbled back at her words.

Dean? Hurt me? Was she out of her mind?

"What? No!" I snapped catching myself. "Dean would never hurt me, he just… he just…" I licked my lips, trying to find the right words but I shook my head. "I used Charlie, Dan, I _hurt_ him."

"That doesn't explain what the hell just happened in the bathroom." Danni whispered and stepped up to me. "Tell me what's going on." She seemed to approach with a caution that made my stomach turn and I closed my eyes. "What happened earlier that triggered you?"

Triggered, that was it! That was what was bugging me so much. Everything flashed at me at once. The vampire at the bottom of the incline, the wolf in the woods, the body by the river and suddenly I was back in that car, but I wasn't coming up for air, I was still trapped in that seatbelt and I couldn't move, I couldn't get away.

I struggled to breath, found it harder than hell to move, in fact the only thing I could do was keep my eyes so tightly shut that I saw stars. I felt something on my face and the image of the monster came at me, the one with the bloodied mouth, the dripping fangs, red with the blood of the dog that lay twitching beneath it and suddenly it sprang.

My eyes opened quickly, as I took in a deep breath and tried hard to back away from the hands that held my face. My arms whipped out, trying to break the hold that was on me, and my legs kicked hoping to help me run away but there was nowhere to go, I had backed myself into a corner.

"Hey!" His voice was deep, authoritative and sometimes downright nasty, but it took me out of the blackness, pulled me right from the memories and I found myself staring into those green eyes. Dean's face was full of worry but it was stern and I felt him move one hand, almost petting my hair. "Hey," a little quieter this time and I was able to make out Danni and Sam who were huddled close by, as I focused on him, "Ali, look at me."

"Dean," it came out as I whisper, one that I don't remember even moving my lips to say but with that little smile on his lips, he set reality concretely in place and I lunged forward, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I'm sorry," I whispered against his neck as I closed my eyes, "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, Kid, it's okay," he gathered me up and held on tightly as he cupped the back of my head with one hand and I felt Sam's fingers join his brother's on the small of my back, gently caressing as I shook. Danni rubbed my arm and I let the three of them calm me, their presence seemed to be everything at that moment. "Wanna tell me what happened?"

"No," I whispered, my lips against his neck and suddenly, the thought of Sam's mark attracting vampires had me backing away, completely out of his arms and I pressed against the box I had been leaning on, my knees pulled up to my chest. "Danni doesn't know."

"Know what?" Danni questioned. I licked my lips and tried to pull on everything that I had.

"You said I wasn't the only one that had to deal with that decision, about which side someone might slide too," Dean whispered and shifted just a bit closer to me. Sam looked at him, a bit confused but Dean raised his hand. "In the bathroom, you said try being the one who had to decide for yourself. What did you do? Why would you… why would you end yourself?"

"What?" Danni snapped but Dean reached out and put a hand on her leg, silencing her.

"I'm a hunter," I whispered, and looked up into his eyes. "Not like you, not like Sam, but my own hunter, and my own monster."

"You're not evil, you can't be a monster." Dean whispered and I took a deep breath.

"I haven't been for a while," I closed my eyes and put my head down on my knee, suddenly tired but wide awake. "When I was younger, I was plagued by nightmares, bloody things that made me think I was mad. I thought they would pass, that it was just a phase, but then one night, while I went out to grab the dog, something happen, something that told me that those nightmares were real and I wasn't just seeing them in my head, I had done them before in my life."

"You were just a kid, Ali," Danni sighed and I opened my eyes to look at her.

"I wasn't when I did them," I answered and shook.

This was real to me, whether they believed it or not and it was a struggle I still had even to this day. Which was reality, what wasn't, and I look at Sam, hoping to see that he understood. I let out a breath when I watched the pain in his eyes, not that I wanted it there, but it was the type of thing that told me he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"What happened with the dog?" Dean questioned, my eyes snapping back at him.

"Um, it was night, a little past dark, and the dog was tied up on the bank, wrapped around a large tree and I called out his name." I felt myself being drawn back into that memory and my hand went out, instantly taken by three others that kept me grounded. "He was black and gray with a hint of white around the muzzle, but in the night he was almost invisible, so I turned the flashlight on and pointed it up to where he was. I watched his legs twitching, and thought maybe he was sleeping but the closer I got the more I noticed the way he was moving and the thing that was above him."

"What, Ali, what was it?" Sam questioned, his fingers suddenly on the back of my neck, caressing the skin under my hair and I could feel the heat of him at my back. He was close, close enough to kiss.

"A vampire," I whispered but I came out as if I didn't have a care in the world, just nonchalant as ever, but then it hit me. "It came after me," I leaned my head back towards Sam's voice, feeling his forehead against the back of mine. "That's when I knew, that's why I studied them. It bit me and I didn't change."

"Jesus, it bit you?" Dean questioned, repeating what I had just said. "How old were you?"

"Ten," I whispered, letting my eyes wander to the man who sat beside me, the one who had felt every bit of my wrath and I could see the strange worry in his eyes. "It's how I know, how I know that you can't change from just a bite, because I never did."

"No wonder the bastard at the hotel didn't shock you," his voice lowered as he let out a sigh. "The vamp last night, the wolf, the body by the river, they triggered you?"

"Yes, but, Dean," I picked my head up and sighed. "I shouldn't have said any of those things, I should have just…" I paused and let my guard drop, "I shouldn't have punched you."

He laughed, then let it form into a small smile. "Yeah, well, I kinda had it coming."

"Still, what I said to you, about…" he put his hand up, stopping me because he either wanted it dropped or just didn't want to hear anymore apologizing. "Fine, we'll talk about later."

"Fine," he answered, leaned forward, a motion I jumped at, and I watched him sit back slightly. "You, ah, you get dressed and we'll just get going."

I listened to the force in his voice as it seemed to deflate, like that one little motion of denying him any contact had defeated him. I watched him stand, glance at Sam, who he patted on the shoulder and then I heard his boots on the wooden stairway.

Danni smiled at me, as I looked around the loft. She hadn't known that secret, which was okay because most didn't especially since the "supernatural" wasn't supposed to exist, just like the man behind me and the one standing down below weren't supposed to exist. She reached out, patted my leg and winked.

"I'm going to go shower and change, since things seem to be defused," she whispered and looked up at Sam. "Keep our girl safe."

"Will do," he answered, but there was a small hint of a smile in his voice.

Danni turned and disappeared down the stairs after Dean. Listening to the silence for a few minutes, both Sam and I waited to hear something, anything from them. We heard a wrench hit the floor, the echo itself made me jump in his arms but the words that screamed up were classic Danni. "Son of a bitch, you scared the hell out of me!"

"Me?" Dean snapped back, "why the hell did you sneak up on me like that?"

"Yeah, they're starting to play nice together," Sam mumbled against my hair as he pulled me close. I smiled and pressed his lips harder against me. "How? How have you kept that all to yourself for such a long time?"

"Who was going to believe me?" I laughed, pushing back from him as I tried to look anywhere but his eyes, because he didn't need to see the terror in them, the horror of remembering that one night. "I mean, no one believed me then, why would anyone believe me now."

"Hey," his hand touched my cheek, turning me towards him and I watched the small smile form on his lips. "You do know we kind of specialize in what others don't believe, right?"

"Yeah and apparently cases of "special kind of crazy" too," I sighed.

It was amazing that having his arms around me seemed to ease my mind, but I turned in the spot we were in and put my back to him. Sam's arm entwined around me and pulled me in closer as he sat with his back to the boxes. I was nestled there between his legs, safe in his hold and for the first time in a long while, not afraid of anything.

"Actually, special kind of crazy is my favorite thing, next to gummy bears," I looked up at him when he said it and watched the large smile run across his lips. Gummy bears, really? But he just looked down at me and winked. "So, let's hear it."

"Okay, well, you asked for it." I sighed and allowed myself to think back to that night, my hands automatically going to his, as I felt his fingers tighten around mine when I slipped them in between his large hands. I needed to get this out and I knew, besides the two downstairs, he would be the only one that believed me. "The dog didn't move, not when I called it's name, not when I stepped closer but the way it shook, something was wrong. The thing, that vampire that fed from it looked up at me and I had no idea what I was staring at. Blood was everywhere, on it's face, covering it's clothes, or what was left of them, like he had been shredded by something but his body wasn't damaged.

"Anyway," I whispered, trying to shake the image, and I felt his arms tighten as I trembled, "the...ah, the vampire jumped at me when I was close enough. It took my arm, and just bared its teeth. You can't imagine the pain," I paused, smiled as I thought about just who I was talking to, and shook my head, "well maybe _you_ can, but I screamed, that I do remember. The blood that ran down my arm, that is all I can see because it hurt so bad I think I started to pass out. I know my dad came outside, I know that there was a shout and a gunshot but that was all that I remembered, except for its face...I'll never forget its face."

"If your dad shot it, why would no one believe you?" Sam's voice brought me back from the darkness and I shook my head.

"The doctor said I was delusional, that my overactive imagination was the cause of what I thought I saw because I couldn't deal with the image of what I had come up on. They said he had a seizure, but there was so much blood. Blood doesn't come out like that, not...like...that." I swallowed and tried to slow my racing heart as he caressed the side of my face with the tips of his fingers, feeling the tears as they ran down my skin. "They brought me to more specialists but there was nothing, nothing to prove that anything had actually happened, that there was a monster there."

"But the bite?" I sat forward and turned to face him, feeling his hands go to my waist as I place my own on his chest.

"It was gone, two days after it happened, it was all gone." I whispered, shaking my head. Sam's brow creased, a bit confused at the strange way the bite had suddenly vanished. I closed my eyes, already knew his next question. "I know, so how did I know it was actually there to begin with, right?"

"You have to admit that would be the first question to come to everyone's mind, I mean, you were ten and confessing to a vampire biting you." It wasn't that he didn't believe me but I knew, because this was Sam's logic, that there would need to be proof.

"I had a friend take a photo of it." Those brows went up as if to tell me how smart of a girl I was, which made me just want to knock him one but I took it with a grain of salt because it wasn't the first time I had run into it, and it wouldn't be the last. "It's in a safe box at my house, I don't carry it with me but I do keep several copies. You're right, who is going to believe a kid when the mark disappears, not a single damn person, but try faking a picture from that long ago, especially an original."

"So, what, you decided to research?"

"Well, I wanted to know where it went, and I wanted to know if I was going to turn, because, come on! I had seen Lost Boys and there was no way I was living in an old hotel that fell through the ground in Santa Carla if I didn't have too." I watched as Sam's grin widened at the movie reference, one he obviously had the pleasure of seeing and he nodded.

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to either."

"Research became my thing, became my sanity and I learned everything I could about vampires, and werewolves. They're distant cousins you now," apparently new information to him, and I nodded, "oh, wait something a Winchester didn't know. Surprise, surprise."

"So, the men of letters missed something, not a big deal." Sam rolled his eyes and I couldn't help but smile. Strangely enough, I found that even though I was telling him probably one of the worst experiences of my life, I couldn't help but smile.

"They didn't know about the virus part of it either, did they?"

"Actually, that they did, but let's not talk about them." I felt his fingers trailing over my thighs and upwards as his eyes came up to meet mine.

"Look, Legacy, you can't always get what you want, when you want it," I laughed, swatting his hand away as he went to grab the belt loop for my jeans. "We have to leave soon, Danni and I have to make it to Lawrence."

"About that," Sam said softly and bit down on his lip. "Do you think we could, I don't know, stop by a place."

"The cemetery or the house?" Sam shrugged and took a deep breath, collecting himself as I watched the playful look disappear from his face slowly.

My turn to be the one to bring him out of it. I sat up, pressing my body close to him and captured his lips between mine. I could hear him take in a breath, as his eyes went wide and his hand came around, tangling in my hair. The distraction worked well, it got him out of the dark mindset but it put him into a completely different one and I heard him moan lightly against the press of my mouth.

He grabbed be the back of my thighs, pulling me closer to him, and I found myself straddling his lap. With a smile, I listened to that possessive growl he let off when his hand spanned the small of my back and I was suddenly so close to him that I could feel his heartbeat. Just as things were started to get heated, especially when I gasped at the feeling of his hand riding up the back of my shirt, the sound of boots purposely loud on the stairway shook me from the ecstasy of the moment.

Sam sighed as he released the hold on my lips and I turned just my head to see Dean leaning against the wall, not fully cresting the stairs. His arms were crossed and damn it all, the smile on his face was a mix of pure evil and over-excitement that he had once again walked in on the middle of something.

"Danni's done when the two of you...teenagers...are done getting your fix." He grinned and oh how I wanted to take my shoe off and throw it at him, but while Sam just closed his eyes, tilted his head back and nodded, I stared that man down, shooting daggers in his direction. Dean winked and turned just a bit before he looked me over, the same look he always gave, like a once-over to make sure every extremity was still intact, then headed down the stairs. "Stay dressed, I don't need to wait for you to zip it up before we leave."

"Can I shoot him?" I questioned as I turned back to Sam and kissed his chin.

"Mmm, not if I shoot him first," he smiled and opened his eyes. "Is this what you're wearing in the photos?"

"Yeah, jeans, tee, flannel and boots, got a problem with that?" I went to move off his lap but his hands clasped down on my hips and he sat up, giving me no where to go.

"I think it looks great," he whispered, but there was just a tone under it that had me blushing, "and they'll look so much better on the floor of the backseat."

"Oh, yeah, you're brother is really going to go for that."I laughed, kissing him softly as I unclenched those fingers from their place at my sides. I slid off from his lap and watched as he eyed me over, before standing up himself. As we made our way down the stairs, he stopped me, an arm coming around my neck and his lips a breath away from my ear.

"I really don't care what Dean goes for, I want you on that seat." His voice was sultry and dangerous and definitely one of those "what Sam wants, Sam gets" kind of tones. "Besides," he teased as the warmth crossed my cheeks, "if he keeps looking at Danni like that, we're not going to have to worry about where the hell he is much longer."

I stopped for a second as he released me and walked past. I was shocked, well okay, I wasn't THAT shocked but the fact that I had missed all the signs threw me off just a little. What looks? What the hell did I miss? Sam turned his head as he passed Danni and the table, looked me straight in the eye and then glanced at his brother, getting me to look in that direction.

Son of a bitch! Dean was sitting on the floor trying to buff out the scratches on the side panel but his eyes were locked on the backside of the woman repacking her bag! I smiled at this and cleared my throat as I made my way over towards the Impala. Dean stood, grabbed the rag off the back of the car and headed towards the open trunk. He looked up at me, just his eyes, as he began to rummage around. I leaned against the panel, wiped at the dirt that was on the car with my finger and waited for that knowing grin to spread across his cheeks.

"Dean, I'm sorry for what I said." I admitted, sticking my hands in my back pockets.

His eyes came up again, this time locking on mine. "Forget it, it's forgiven."

"What? Wait, that's not how this works." I took a deep breath and watched him stand and come around the taillight, rag in hand. "Dean you just don't forgive something like that. What I said to you? I used Charlie…"

"God, you and Sam really are meant to be. You're both too pigheaded to drop crap." He shook his head. "Listen, Kid, I have a thicker skin than that, so you're going to have to say, do and throw a whole lot worse at me to get me to leave you alone."

"Seriously, who's the pigheaded one here, I'm trying to apologize."

"And I'm the one that doesn't know how this works," He smiled, wrapped his hand around to the back of my neck and pulled me in to kiss my forehead. "Consider yourself forgiven." He stared into my eyes as he raised his brows and I just gave in and nodded. "Now, don't we have a photo thingy with a car to get too?"

"Yeah," I sighed and looked around for Sam, my glances resting on Danni before I looked at him again.

"I don't know why you didn't just ask me for photos.," He mumbled as he started to situate the back of Baby, "I'd take picture of you and my sweet thing all damn day."

I crossed my arms, grinning at him as I admired the view of him leaning into the trunk. "Yeah, the difference is, photos with you would definitely involve nudity and we're so not going there."

I watched as he turned, all grin and winked which made me roll my eyes and walk away.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

It was a four hour trip from Vinita to Lawrence across state lines and with as much convincing as it took to get the guys to leave Baby in the garage, it was ten times more so to get them to leave the arsenal that Dean had intended to bring there as well. I stood with my arms crossed looking at him fill not one or two bags but three of the rucksacks with various forms of weaponry, but it was when he picked up that grenade launcher that I had to shake my head.

Looking at me like I had just scolded him and taken his favorite toy, Dean placed it back in the trunk and finally zipped the bag.

"Is this all really necessary?" I questioned as he grabbed the last bag and stopped by my shoulder before he past. I turned my head to look up at him, as he stared straight ahead, contemplating and then turned to focus on me.

"For you to be safe, it's entirely necessary." He gave me me a small grin and reached out with his free hand, stroking my cheek with the back of his callous skin gently. "I already told you, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Not on my watch."

"And when your watch is over?" Dean gave me the distinct impression at that very moment that it was never going to be over, not as long as he was alive. I turned to him fully, closed the distance as I pressed my body against his side. Dean's stare became light as he let his hand slip down to my waist, but only lightly holding onto me. "Okay, so do me a favor, when you're done watching my ass, at least in the protective sense, do something about the way you look at my sister's."

That smile, the little sly grin he was always giving me, faded from his face and I heard him clear his throat. He leaned down closer to me, his eyes narrowing and I waited.

"Don't," he whispered, as if it were a secret, but did I let on that Sam was the one that pointed it out to me. His eyes closed just for a second and those fingers tightened before he looked at me again. "I'm not sure how to handle it yet, so please, don't say anything."

Dean saying please in any manner of the word was a little off putting, but I could see the fight in his eyes. He was just like Sam, trying to figure out how to bring the walls down, trying to figure out how to let someone in. I placed my hand right above his heart, letting the even thump of it play against my palm and it began to race the longer I was silent.

"Dean, this is your thing to bring up, your move. I'm not going to say anything that would jeopardize you. It's your heart, you follow it the way you need to." I listened to the exhale, as if it were some sort of relief and he placed his forehead against mine. Though I would never understand the endearing gesture, the personal space between Dean and I had become pretty null, and I was completely okay with that. He kissed me softly on the head, breathing in the scent of my hair and smiled.

"You still smell like Sammy," He grinned against me and I patted his stomach with the hand that I had over his heart.

"And, you're still an ass." I exclaimed as I heard his low laugh before he stepped away, the hand that held my waist left light touches across my stomach as he headed for the Escape that sat outside in the morning sun. Arms wrapped around me from behind as I felt the strangely smooth cheek of Sam's face close to my ear. "How did I not see your brother's interest?"

"Because you're too close to him," Sam laughed and I put my hands down to intertwine my fingers between his.

"Shouldn't you think that's a bad thing?" I questioned and listened to him laugh, it wasn't a full belly laugh but just a small sound that still vibrated through me.

"What, that my brother protects you? That he's always that close?" I turned and looked up at Sam but the expression on his face wasn't what I thought it would be. Here I was thinking how insane the whole deal with Dean constantly touching me was, and Sam was standing there looking at me confused as if I were insane for not understanding it. "It's just how he is, contact is essential for him when he trusts you, he can...I don't know...feel it. It becomes more tangible, stronger through the link."

Both of us turned towards the escape as we heard the smack of a hand against material and I felt Sam's hair against me as he shook his head. Danni stood looking furiously at Dean, who stood with a wide smile on his face, while she rubbed her hand against the seat of her pants. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my lips, but when Danni brought her eyes to rest on mine, I burst out laughing, Sam being the only thing holding me up as almost felt my legs give out.

The position seem to have the man behind me a little riled up as he pulled me back against his chest and I realized instantly what I had done. Wiggling in his arms, pressed that close, was probably a bad thing if we were going to spend four hours in a car, and I stopped when I felt his lips on my neck, and a little sting of a nip as he played with the mark he had left. I slipped out of his hands quickly and turned to look at him with a grin that could only say one thing.

"We're so not leaving if you keep that up." I grinned and watched the smile cross his face as he licked my lips and scanned me over from head to toe. "And keep looking at me like that and the vampires aren't going to stand a chance in hell."

"Yeah, well," he closed the distance again, sweeping his arms around me. I watched the hard darkness return to his eyes and felt the protectiveness in his embrace. "They so much as scratch you and no one will survive."

"Easy there, Cowboy," I whispered against the lips that had descended to mine, and I felt him shake with need, the need to hunt. "We'll get there, and before you know it the threat will be gone."

"Holy Hell, you two!" Dean mocked. "Get a room or get in the car, we don't have time for this!"

Sam's lips were passionate and possessive against mine as he stole my breath before letting me go, taking my hand and pulling me to the truck. With one hand on the door to the passenger's side door of the Escape, I watched Sam get in behind Danni, but my eyes set on the backside of the man closing the gate. If Sam was right, and Dean needed that connection then why was he doing it so close to the beginning of this dangerous little trip?

Dean turned, headed right towards me finishing the last of that American Spirit that had rested so loosely between his lips before he snuffed out the butt and tossed it in the garbage, and winked as he got into the truck. I took a deep breath breath, not sure I was ready for this ride, but it was still early and the vampires that plagued my thoughts wouldn't be out for hours.

I closed the door, locked down my belt and gave Danni a grin. "Let's get this show on the road."

With a glance at the backseat passengers, she put the car in drive and smiled. "Eye-eye, Captain."

The conversations were light and didn't stray too close to the topic of vampires, John, or Cas, but there were moments of silence that said more than words could ever say, and then there were the touches, light gentle brushes of Dean's hand on the back of my neck as he used my seat to pull himself forward, and then the soft smile of Sam's lips when his hardened eyes caught the shocked looks I gave him each time his brother did it, acknowledging that while possessive of me if it were anyone else, Dean never made him even bat an eye.

There were also the little glances that Danni tossed back, especially when Dean leaned forward to steal some of her snacks from the center console. The two of them brushed hands more than I could count and I had to smile as I watched the playful touches. Sam laughed a time or two and it was a contagious laugh, one that had me just watching him and the way that it took him over, which of course got Dean going and the two of them feed off each other.

I had lost the content of the conversation long ago, as I was swept up in the feeling of safety, the scent of the Winchesters and their presence and the hopeful glances of my sister who sat beside me on this little road trip.

The first pitstop came an hour into the drive, and Sam was out the door before I could catch him. Dean lazily stretched beside the escape pumping gas as Danni went into pay and I casually strolled over to his side and found a warm spot on the car to lean against.

Dean watched the pump, eyes fixated on the numbers as I watched him. His tongue flicked out, licking his lips before he glanced down and over at me, a smile forming on his face.

"I feeling pretty damn uncomfortable with you just standing there silent, say something woman!" he snapped playfully.

"I don't want to kill the mood," I answered but took my eyes off him as I put my back to the car.

"How could you possibly kill the mood, and I didn't realize we set one?"

"When you touch me..."

"I'll stop!" He snapped, but his voice had turned ugly.

"NO! Don't," I reached out and brushed my fingers on the hand gripping the handle to the pump and watched as he looked down, his eyes following my fingers as his mouth opened just a bit. "I just wanted you to know how safe you make me feel, but I don't want it to interfere with anything you think might come up between you and Danni."

"She'll understand," he whispered confidently.

"Why? I mean, how could you know that?" his gaze came up to meet mine.

"We talked about it."

"You, the man of not so many words unless you're scolding me, talked to Danni about your need to touch me?" I stared at him confused, as he nodded. "Okay, when was this and what the hell did you say?"

"She kinda let in on me about the whole 'leaving you alone' deal and I told her no way in hell was I going to do it." Oh, yeah, that...you know, when I socked him and told me to leave me the hell alone, yeah, apparently that didn't go over well with the older sibling. He shrugged but I could hear the emotion in his voice. "I already told you Ali, if anything were to happen to you, I couldn't live with myself, and I know that you're with Sam but I have this need, this feeling...this connection that I can't figure out. I need to touch you."

"Sounds kinda kinky." I smiled just a little.

"Yeah, I know, and it's not a feeling I understand. And, I'm not making any excuses for needing to do it, but, you have to understand one thing," the pump clicked off and he placed the nozzle back before replacing the cap and closing the distance between us. "You and me, we're not a thing but I'll be damned if I'm going to let anything come between us."

"How would anything come between us when you are the most stubborn man I know," and that was when I looked passed him at the tall, gorgeous man that turned my insides to jello, who was walking towards us. "Well, besides that one."

"Yeah, well, Sam gets it, and I hope to God that Danni does too," he reached out and moved my hair behind my ear. "It's been a long time since I cared for anything, anyone besides Sam and I'm not used to it."

"So, while you're trying to figure me out, in your "not a thing" way," I smiled and watched his eyes light up as Danni approached, "open yourself up to the possibility that this, whatever is going on between you and her, could definitely be a thing."

"I'm well aware of it, Al." He sighed, his thumb running over the back of my hand that still held his fingers. I heard him sigh in frustration. "This has got to be the most screwed up and nerve wracking case ever!"

"Hmm, between the two of us, we shouldn't have any nerves left." I smiled and watched as he rolled his eyes.

"Get in the damn car," he growled and shook his head as he gave me a little push, releasing my hand. I smiled at him as we both rounded the tailgate, catching a light kiss from Sam on my forehead before we loaded back up and took off north once more.

The sign said "Lawrence City Limits", and the speed limit sign posted staed 45 miles per hour, which Danni was totally ignoring. I watched the two men behind me both crane their necks to see the polished 67' Impala that waited for us in the parking lot. The look on their faces was priceless and I wished more than anything that I had my cell out, oh yeah, and that it actually worked right, so I could video tape it.

Dean was in a state of shock, but kind of drooling, guess he's never seen anything like it besides his own, and Sam had this cheesy half-cocked grin on his as he glanced at the car and then the look on his brother's face. Yeah, like two little brats in a candy store.

When Danni pulled up beside it, and a woman stepped out, the backseat passengers were a little more shocked, not that I understood why, but I guess a woman driving Baby around was just not something they acknowledged everyday.

Danni got out, shutting down the car as she took her keys with her, like the boys might take off in a hurry, and I followed suit, minus the keys. I couldn't help the smile that plastered across my face as Megan looked genuinely happy to meet us when we stepped up to the car.

"Looks like you ladies came with a car full," she smiled and both of us turned back to look at the SUV.

"My cousins live not far from the place I stopped for the night in Ohio and apparently they are road-tripping to Austin, so Danni offered them a spot for the night." I smiled and shrugged, stuffing my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. "They're big fans of Chevy so when we said 1967 Impala, they needed to come and drool, do you mind?"

Megan let out a giggle, "not at all."

Danni walked over and opened the door, laughing as Dean nearly fell out but my focus was on Megan and her expression. I wanted to see if there was any inclination as to who the two men might be, but all I saw there was interest.

"Those two are your cousins?" She questioned, looking at me with raised brows, and I could see while she didn't recognize them, she was definitely impressed.

"Yeah, the tall gene kind of runs on in the men on my side of the family." I shrugged and turned towards the car, now wondering just how accurate it was to the one that we had sitting in the garage and not the one on the series. I was pretty impressed, everything seemed to be in place, but there was one thing missing. Me or Danni behind the wheel. "So, what's our plan of attack?"

Danni stepped up beside me, leaned in through the window and turned to wink at me. "This is going to be fun."

Both of us backed out and glanced over at Sam and Dean, who had managed to wrangle Megan into opening the trunk. "The question is, what do we do with the two of them?"

"They can be in the pictures or not, it's there choice, I have no problem." Danni shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest. "But, you know, we haven't really had some time to ourselves, I mean, real time."

"I know, the car ride down was botched by the vampires at the gas station, and it seems no matter which way I turn, I have a Winchester beside me." I sighed and watched the smile cross her lips.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," I wanted to roll my eyes because she was right, it really wasn't but then again, I wanted to keep her to myself too. "Tell you what, when we settle down for the night, we're going for drinks, just the two of us."

"Yeah, and how do you think we're going to pull that off without one or both of them being up our ass?" I laughed and she rolled her eyes at my choice of words. "Let's just figure out a way to get through this and then maybe, just maybe we'll get away from them for a little bit, because you know what? I could really use a drink."

"So, what are we doing first?" Megan asked as she stepped up and I glanced behind her as Sam and Dean went to stand by the Escape. "How about a picture with the Lawrence sign?"

"Perfect!" I smiled and looked at Danni, who grinned and nodded and thus began the adventure of the Impala photoshoot, which went relatively well until the Lawrence police department squad car pulled up on the other side of the green that we were parked on.

Danni did a quick take in the direction of the Escape and shook her head, signaling the boys to stay put as they sat inside and Megan smiled as two younger officers got out, lights flashing to warn other drivers that they had stopped, and made their way over to the spot where we were parked on the grass, unfortunately covering the sidewalk.

Officer Kenneth Grenwich, at least from what I could read from his tag, stepped up to look over the interior of the Impala as I sat behind the wheel and Megan and Danni spoke to the other officer, a Douglas Foreman. The man, tall, dirty-blonde, with close-cropped hair and stunning blue eyes looked over the dash before his eyes landed on me.

I was sitting back, the seat no where near where I could possibly reach the pedal and he smiled.

"Supernatural fan?" He questioned and watched as I smiled.

"Not the first one you've seen I bet." I replied, trying to play it cool but all I could think of was that my name was written all over that motel receipt, you know the one that was left in shambles with the headless monster in it, covered in blood. Yeah, my name, not anyone else's. Grenwich smiled and gave a quick nod. "How many do you get right here at this sign?"

"More than our fair share, I guess," he answered. "We don't mind it though, it brings in tourists and money, especially with Mary here." I watched as he stroked the car's door and smiled. "I really do appreciate the beauty in classic cars."

"Yeah, she's gorgeous." I answered as I looked down at the seat beside me, thinking about the gun tucked into the back of my pants. Megan stepped closer, camera in hand and cleared her throat, maybe she could see my unease. "What's up Megan?"

Grenwich's eyes were suddenly on the woman with the camera, and not focused so heavily on me or the way that I happened to be sitting uncomfortably in the car. Danni looked me over, as she spoke with Foreman, keeping a smile on her lips and her thoughts invested in the conversation but her eyes were full of worry. I must have looked completely freaked out.

"Wanna be in the photos?" Megan asked the officer, who gave her nothing but a big grin and I listened, and followed directions like a robot as Megan told the officer where to sit and how to interact.

I could almost feel the boys from there, the glare in their eyes as they sat in the car watching carefully, but Grenwich didn't do anything threatening as he played along with whatever Megan told him to do. A pretend argument with both Danni and I, a photo from the passenger's side of him leaning over questioning Danni (who was driving) and me, about license and registration.

My cell went off halfway through a little bit of a break, where Megan concentrated on Danni, which was good because the space between me and that officer seemed to lessen by the minute. I didn't even need to see who it was that texted, but I excused myself and headed for the car. I ducked around the passenger's side of the Escape and turned towards the open door.

It was a faster than lightning move as Sam grasped my shirt and pulled me in for a deep kiss, a marking one and I smiled against his lips. Hmm, jealousy kind of looked good on him. When he let me go, at least enough to breath, I glanced at Dean, whose eyes were locked on Danni and his face told me that he was fuming in quiet agony.

"Dean," I whispered and Sam also turned his head, but with a little bit of a smile. The only response I got was the green-eyed man grunting. "DEAN!" His head whipped around to me and his brow furrowed in anger. "We're almost done. Why don't I see if Megan can drive us to the next location and you do, I don't know, can hunt around Lawrence."

"Wait, you're doing more?" Sam questioned, like it was a big surprise that yeah, we didn't drive all the way out here to JUST take picture in front of the city limit sign.

"Actually yeah, and I'm pretty sure one of the places on our little tour you guys don't want to see." This got another reaction from Dean besides the look of jealousy on his face, and if I was reading his expressions right, he was about to ask me…

"Are you insane?" He snapped. Hmm, pretty good guess. "Where exactly would you be going that you think we wouldn't go?"

"Stull Cemetery." Oh, yeah, that got a good roll of his eyes, so far back that his head went with him. "I told you that you weren't going to wanna see it."

"What on earth would possess you to go there?" Dean snapped and I smiled, but it faded when I looked at the same kind of worry that crossed Sam's face.

"Look, we're not going in, we're just taking a picture with the car outside the gate." I wrapped my fingers around Sam's large index and felt his hand squeeze around me. "I swear we aren't going to step foot on that soil. Believe me, I know what went down there and I'm not chancing it."

"Well, we're not taking a chance on something happening if you go alone either." I locked my lips shut, clenched my jaw and shook my head at him. He was as stubborn as they came but he was right, there was always that possibility. I rolled my eyes in agreement and watched as he just went back to watching Danni. "Can we get rid of the dress blues, please, seriously that guy is making me uncomfortable."

"You're not the only one." I answered, looked up at Sam as he kissed me on the forehead and stepped away from the car.

As I rounded the front bumper of the car, I heard a noise that instantly had my eyes up and focused on Danni. She laughed, but it wasn't a natural sort of giggle, it was a whole body laugh, and one that I took as fair warning. She smiled at the cop in front of her, Grenwich handing her a piece of paper, as she placed a hand on his arm, in a flirty kind of way, and I glanced back at the SUV.

Dean was leaning forward in the seat, using the steering wheel to brace himself, but the look of the green monster that boiled in him seemed to kick my ass in gear. I went back to Sam and reached across his lap, snagging Dean by the shirt. He resisted but when his eyes flashed to mine, all I could do was shake my head.

"She's not trying to get a rise out of you, Winchester, she's trying to protect you." I whispered, but could almost hear the low growl that vibrated through him as he held onto what little control was slipping.

"I don't need her protection," he hissed through clenched teeth.

"From the Lawrence Police Department, yeah, I think you do." I felt Sam's hand on my back as I practically lay across him, his fingers spread wide, which meant he was suddenly in protective mode as well. "The laugh was a signal, the flirt is to keep him off our backs."

My phone vibrated against my hip, against Sam's leg and I quickly snatched it out of the pocket just as I peeked over the dash to look at Danni, who had her phone in her hand. Looking at the screen, I realized she was pretending to put in a phone number but sending me a warning at the same time.

"So?" Dean snapped and though I knew he was irritated, I wished he would keep his tone under control, and he must have seen that because his fingers were suddenly gracing my cheek every so gently, almost ghosting them. "What did she say?"

"We need to "pack up this show and haul ass, Officer Dipshit wants to know who we're traveling with". I don't get it, why does it matter?" I watched Dean reach for the 1911 behind his back and my hand came down on his thigh, as Sam's fingers bunched up the fabric of my shirt. Dean's eyes, who had gone back to the young officer and Danni, who was running out of ways to distract him, rested on mine again. "No guns, we'll get out of this. He's not a monster, just a dumbass human."

"Well, that dumbass human is about to get ganked if we don't move." Dean sighed, releasing the gun, and slid his hand down to mine, where he gave me a quick squeeze and let out another pent up breath.

"All right, I'll go move things along," I backed out, feeling Sam's hand slip and I stared at each one for just a moment. "You two sit tight and keep your pants on, there is no need to go wild west on anyone here."

I didn't wait for a response, though I heard something muffled as I quickly rounded the car again and headed back toward the Impala. Danni, with a look of relief in her eyes, watched as I approached and engaged both the officers and Megan.

"So, I like what we got here, are we onto the next stop. Sunlights going to start fading if we want to catch that sunset in the pictures." I smiled and watched Megan take the cue. She smiled, and nodded.

"Yep, I know the perfect spot right out of town." She grinned and Danni smiled, but it was half-hearted and full of anxious glances.

"Okay, then," I looked at the two uniforms. "It was great to meet you both, and thanks for the photos."

"Our pleasure," Foreman replied and Grenwich grinned.

"We hope to see you again real soon." That was from Grenwich, directed at Danni who just grinned and I couldn't help the smile, because that grin said "not a chance in hell".

Megan hopped behind the wheel of the Impala as the two of us headed back towards the Escape. Once the patrol car was out of sight, Sam and Dean stepped out and the five of us stood between the two cars, Dean's eyes locked protectively on Danni as I leaned back against Sam.

"Not your cousins, are they?" Megan asked, staring up at Sam, who scoffed at the question.

"No," I admitted and felt Sam slid his hand, or at least attempt to before I caught it. Why do they always go for the guns? You can't just shoot everyone. "But, if we tell you who they really are, they'd have to shoot you."

Megan smiled at this, and gave me a wink. "I see, well, at first it was the scar that threw me off, but now I see it. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, total look-alikes."

"Yeah, that's it," Dean said sarcastically but with a smile on his face, "you have us pinned."

"Okay then, why don't we head out to the airport motel where we talked about the other photos, then onto Stull?" Megan smiled and watched as we nodded in agreement before she put the camera away and climbed into the car.

I watched Danni as she took Dean's hand while the car pulled away, the little squeeze his fingers made on hers even gave Sam a smile but I decided that the two needed to talk and tugged on him to move to the passenger side with me. I felt him take a deep breath as his arms wrapped around my shoulders and mine went to his waist.

I felt his lips against my head as his heart rate slowly dropped and his body started to relax. "We don't have to go to Stull, at least you guys really don't have to follow us that close, Megan already said we could ride in from the motel."

"You're kidding right?" Sam mumbled against me, but he had a smile in his voice. "I have this feeling…"

"You always have a feeling." I teased, but I felt his hand go to the back of my neck before his fingers slid around and he caught just under my chin. With a gentle push, I tilted my head up to look at him. "The impending doom feeling?"

Sam nodded, the frown gracing his lips before he released my gaze and looked around. The Impala sat idling at the exit to the parking lot and I heard him take in a deep breath, in fact, I felt it, and I tucked my hands in the back pocket of his jeans, giving him a little squeeze as I pulled him closer, which had me backed up against the car.

"Where are we staying tonight?" he whispered, and I was pretty sure that it wasn't for the reason I was thinking at that moment. I shrugged and glanced quickly at the couple who were practically touching heads while they were talking. "Let me guess, Danni's got some elaborate plan?"

"Drinks at a bar once we're done, just the two of us." I smiled and the expression I got told me everything. "I know, not the best plan in the world, but Sam, this was supposed to turn out completely different, we weren't supposed to be here, I mean, not in the middle of a monster fight with the Winchesters, we were supposed to be on a "Supernatural" hunt of our own."

"Yeah, I forgot that this was your first actual in-person meeting," he cleared his throat, gave a few gestures like he was thinking but the smile crossed his lips. "I'll do my best to get my brother to let you two be for at least an hour, but I can't promise you anything Al."

"I would be more worried about you being able to leave us alone for an hour." I laughed and watched as his eyes went dark, as if he were thinking of us getting hurt and I moved my hands from his pockets to his neck, my thumb caressing the skin of his cheeks.

"Hey, we'll be safe, I swear." I searched his eyes, trying to find that one little hint that he wasn't about to go off and kidnap me just to keep me from doing something stupid. I felt him relax, heard the door open to the other side of the car and both of us looked up to see Danni slip behind the wheel and Dean climb into the backseat. "I'm guessing that's our cue."

"I assume so." He leaned in and kissed me quickly before moving over to get into the backseat. Glancing around once more, trying to get rid of the feeling of being watched. I opened the door and pulled myself in, tapping the panel of the silver Escape before I buckled my seatbelt. Danni gave me a quick glance and headed out of the space towards the waiting 67'.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The Airport Motel was a beat up wreck but definitely perfect for a "Supernatural" photo-shoots since most of the places the boys stayed were pretty beat up. Megan was able to get pictures quickly, doing different poses that we had discussed along with some that we hadn't thought of and while she was changing batteries in the camera, or checking out other little things, like angles, I was actually able to take a second to smile at the situation.

"A quiet day for once," I whispered and lounged back in the seat, letting the feel of the sun warm the black material that surrounded me. Danni smiled and put her head back as she looked at the view. "So, what were you and Mr. Obsessively Protective talking about?"

Danni smiled, and turned to me, it was a good one, at least I thought but then it faded. "I told him that he was a jackass."

This made me burst out laughing and I found myself trying to catch my breath. "You called Dean Winchester, one of the scariest men I have ever met, and trust me, I've met his brother, a jackass?" I watched Danni nod, but the smile didn't return to her face. "Why?"

This time Danni did grin. "I told him I wanted him on his back beside a roaring bonfire with nothing but the wind between us." It must have been the wide-eyed look of shock on my face that set her off on a rather long tangent of laughter, and the visuals I was getting set my cheeks on fire.

"What did he say?" Curiosity was definitely my downfall.

"That it all depended on what he was doing, was he fixing his car or pulling my hair." My mouth nearly dropped and I glanced over at the Escape. Sam stood against the grill, his arms and ankles crossed as he watched for potential threats but Dean was sitting inside the car with the door open, his head back. I didn't even want to know what he was doing. "So, I called him a jackass and grabbed his ass."

"Holy Shit, woman, are you asking for trouble?" I couldn't help but laugh, because she wasn't asking at all, she was demanding it.

I needed to get out of the car, needed to stretch because there was no way I was going to be able to sit there with images of Dean naked on the grass without thinking about Sam and how I really needed some time alone with him.

It was at that time, when I was sitting at the back of the Impala that Sam pushed off from the car and walked over. Danni slipped out of the car and joined us at the tailgate which prompted Dean to also shed the confines of the car and make his way down. As the four of us stood there, all separate, but still close enough to touch should one of need the contact, and sure enough, Dean found a spot against the tail right beside me, his arm touching mine.

I looked at the way his arm pressed against me and then I looked up into the bright green eyes and sly smirk that crossed his lips before I rolled my eyes and elbowed him gently. I could see the small grin as the corners of his cheeks turned up and I had to shake my head, I don't think I would ever understand the dynamics of it but even with how close he was standing to me, arm pressed the length of mine, I could still feel Dean's fingers reaching, brushing against the back of my hand as he pulled it ever so gently from my pocket.

"Okay, so with Megan working on things, I think we should discuss what's going on next." I spoke up, clearing my throat as Sam stood to the left of me, his own hands digging deep into his front pockets, and while Danni seemed relaxed, she tried to look everywhere but the spot where Dean and I stood connected. No matter what little inch I gave, he stepped closer and I knew I wasn't getting away. "Stull? thoughts?"

"Bad idea," Dean spoke up beside me which immediately got Danni's attention. His voice was deep and authoritative, kind of like the big brother I never wanted, and I glanced up at him. "Look, Stull's reputation aside, that place is bad news for everyone involved. Things tend to follow you home when you even get close to the grounds."

"So, it really is haunted?" Danni questioned, and Dean kind of gave a nod but more sucked on his lip before his eyes met hers.

"Haunted isn't the word for it, you're talking witchcraft, satanism, and ghosts, not to mention the fact that it is literally a gateway to hell." Dean said with a bit of snark as if we didn't know all of these things to begin with. "Listen, it's a just a bad idea, okay, I mean you're just asking for trouble there."

"Okay," I spoke up and gave the fingers I held a little squeeze of reassurance. "Stull is done, we're not going but you'll have to tell us what the hell actually went down there one of these times."

Dean turned to me, the personal space between us disappeared in an instant as he looked down into my eyes. I could tell he was just about at his wits end with something that was bothering him but all I got was the angry stare and the hard set of denial in his eyes.

"I don't have tell you a damned thing, little girl," he whispered and I watched the hurt in his eyes. He released my hand and stepped away from the car. Oh, brother, here we go again. I looked at Sam, who took a step in his brother's direction before I gave a slight shake of my head.

Rolling my eyes, I followed after him, leaving Danni and Sam to watch and I grabbed his arm this time. Dean spun around at the touch and clenched his fists. He was looking for a fight, like the cops had gotten him so revved up that he had no idea how to handle the situation.

"Stop, just for a second." I whispered and watched as he clenched his jaw, a sure sign that he was suppressing his anger. I could see the white knuckles on his hands as he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I'm not trying to piss you off."

"You're doing a lousy job of it," he snapped and I took a breath, trying to keep my own cool as he shifted his weight. "Why would you ask about that? You should know what happened at Stull, Ali, why would you even bring that up?"

"I thought I knew what happened at the Devil's Gate in Wyoming too, but some wiseass happened to mention that his father was missing and not dead, which in my world screws everything up, so yeah, questioning what happened in Stull is kind of important." I retorted and watched as he did his classic Dean face, that angry shake of his head, the bitter eye-roll. "I'm not asking for the whole story, not for every detail, but Dean, you have to trust me that I'm not asking these things to piss you off, I'm asking them to get a better sense of where you've been."

"Trust you?" He snickered and crossed his arms, essentially blocking me out, before he leaned in close, keeping the conversation between us, but I heard the shuffle of dirt as Sam approached and Danni was right behind him. "You don't get it, besides Sammy, I have never trusted anyone more, but you're pushing it."

"What about Cas?" I mentioned and watched him stand up straight, the shocked look on his face, and the hard way he swallowed before the anger returned told me that I had just pushed it too far.

"Don't ever speak his name again!" Dean growled and stepped back just as Sam reached us. Dean looked up at his brother, glanced at Danni and turned, walking away down the road.

"Dean?" Sam questioned, before he got too far, but the older of the two ignored him. Sam placed a hand on my cheek, gave me a reassuring look and then started after him. "DEAN!"

"Well, now that I've royally screwed that one up," I sighed and turned to Danni, "I think I'm really going to need that drink now."

"He'll be okay," Danni whispered, but I knew it was more for her own sanity than my reassurance. I turned, rolling my eyes and headed back towards the Impala as Danni continued to watch the boys, who had stopped a ways down the road. I didn't have anything to say when she finally followed me back and rested against the car beside me. "What was that about anyway?"

"Pushing Dean away, pulling him closer, hell if I know." I sighed and looked down at the rocks below the toe of my boot. "Did you really talk to him about our… I don't even know what to call it, but his need to be in contact with me? I mean he's always touching, always taking my hand or kissing my head, doesn't that bother you?"

"It obviously bothers you." I looked up at her quickly and watched her kind of stare off into the distance. "You and Dean have history, you know two days before we even got together, two days of some really touch and go stuff, and if he feels the need to keep that contact with you, what am I going to say about it. He told me that it was just a feeling, there wasn't anything between you, nothing sexual, so why would it bother me? Better yet, why does it bother you?"

"Because it's Dean, that's why!" I snapped and shook my head. "Because I shouldn't feel this way about the brother of the man I want more than anything, because he does nothing but irritate the hell out of me and I can't leave him alone! What the hell is wrong with me?"

"You share a profound bond," she smiled which made my head snap in her direction and slowly she turned to look at me, a giant grin on her face.

"Okay, Cas, way to be sarcastic!" I mocked and crossed my arms as I watched the two brothers approach. "Seriously, what the hell?"

"I was kind of being serious," Danni shrugged, "Dean brought it up before, he's just as confused about it as you are, as I am but you can't change who you're connected too."

"Sam said it was the way he dealt with the trust bond, by feeling it through touch, something tangible. Okay, so him I get, but that doesn't explain my need for it." I shook my head, catching Sam's eyes as Dean made his way towards the Escape. Sam resumed his position at the front of the grill as if protecting his brother and I turned away from him, put my back to both, before looking up at the sky. "Why me?"

"What do you mean, why you? Why not you?" Danni whispered, stepping closer to her shoulder touched mine. "Why not send you on this adventure that you've waited a lifetime for, or pair you with the biggest badasses the world has to offer so you can fight not only the demons inside yourself but the ones in the real world? Why not you is what you should be asking, and there's a very simple answer for it." I looked over at her, as a smile formed on her face, "because the universe decided that it couldn't be anyone else but you."

"Yeah, way to go universe!" I sighed and looked up as Megan stepped towards us. Danni smiled she turned towards our hostess, who cleared her throat and smiled. "Any other stops?"

"A couple more, but I wanted to let you know before you take and get a shock or two when you look at these, I kind of took some liberties and photographed you and your cowboys over there while you were all near the car. I thought you might want some since you didn't mention it." She grinned and I raised a brow at Danni, who all but blushed at the thought. "So, our next one was the Midline Gas Station and then the grain silo."

"Sounds good," Danni answered and glanced at me before I stood straight and sighed. "Let's head out, we have, what about an hour or so before the sunsets?"

"About that, yeah." Megan smiled, put everything in the Impala and Danni grabbed my arm, tugging me back towards the car.

I stopped before I got close enough and felt her release my arm as Sam stepped towards me. He winked at Danni and closed the distance, his hands tucked deep in his pockets.

"Listen, Sam," I whispered and closed my eyes, wanting to explain myself but I really didn't have an explanation for anything. He reached out and touched my cheek, just comforting me as he stood toe to toe, making me look up. "What is my problem? I mean, can I go a second without hurting you or your brother?"

"You didn't hurt me," he whispered, but I could feel the chill in his voice, like he had closed something off. "And you didn't hurt Dean."

"Bullshit!" I snapped backing away from him. "You can't tell me that him walking off wasn't because he was either hurt or about to swing."

"He would never swing at a woman," he said softly, defending his brother, as he should, but I moved far enough away that his hand dropped from me. "What is going on?"

"I don't know," I shut my eyes tightly and took a deep breath before locking them on him. "I can't do this anymore. I am so ramped up that my anxiety is going through the roof and I'm looking for monsters at every turn. I don't want to be this way, I don't want to be in this situation." Sam stood, as if he were offended, which I could see why he would be, I mean, I just told him I didn't want to be in a situation that had brought us together but that wasn't necessarily what I meant. "I want to find these vamps, and I want to take their heads off."

"Now you sound like Dean," he whispered and gave me a slight grin.

"Then find me something, Sammy, find me something to punch or stab before I hurt you or your brother again." I felt his arms wrap around me and his lips on my head as he sighed and I just let the smell of him flow over me. "A few more stops and then we're done for the night."

"Good," he said softly, "I kind of want to get you alone, I think you need to work off some energy."

"I think your idea of letting off some energy and mine, might be two different things." I sighed and suddenly shivered as his tongue flicked out and grazed past my ear, which made me moan just a little as I reached out and gripped his shirt. "Or maybe they're exactly the same thing."

Sam laughed low, something that vibrated near my ear, and went all the way down to the heat between my legs as he slowly backed away, tracing my cheek with his lips. Oh why did the man have to be pure sin! He pulled a sigh from my lips as he brushed them with his own, and I just wanted to melt when he took that step back, taking my hand in his.

"Come on," he whispered and tugged me towards the car. I slipped in the front seat, glanced up in the mirror as I buckled the belt and came eye to eye with Dean's bright green ones as he stared me down. I listened to him sigh, break my stare to watch Sam climb in and then turn those eyes back to me as we drove down the road. "Where's the next stop?"

"The old Midland Gas Station," Danni shrugged, but I watched the strange glance that the brothers exchanged before I decided to focus on the road.

We parted ways with Megan just after sundown in quiet part of Lawrence where she handed us the SD card from the camera and told us to enjoy, we also agreed that we would let her know how the rest of our "Supernatural" vacation was going before she nodded in the direction of the boys and told us to keep Butch and Sundance out of trouble. Easier said than done, but we agreed.

The next stop was dinner, which went over about as well as one would have thought since Dean hadn't spoken to me since the Airport Motel. We ordered, Danni sat by him, Sam sat by me and the conversation was light, almost to the point of nonexistent but that was okay because I was looking forward to the bar and a couple drinks in order to relax. We found a small motel along the route home and stopped in for the night, best part was, there was a small roadhouse bar right across the street and ample enough empty rooms that we were able to get two adjoining ones.

Once we were settled into our rooms, okay, so the whole guys room/girls room thing was a crock of shit because we all knew that there was no way it was staying that way. So once settled, Danni and I changed into something more comfortable and less...hunter's layers, before heading over to the bar. It was then, as I waited for Danni to get out of the bathroom, that I spotted Dean leaning against the pole, his back to me, one hand in his pocket, and the puff of smoke told me that he had a cigarette in his hand.

I grabbed my leather coat from over the chair, slipped it on and glanced back at the bathroom before heading outside, closing the door quietly behind me. I watched Dean shift, saw the muscles in his shoulders tense as I approached and slipped past him, only to stop and turn when I was out of arm's reach.

He looked me over by the light of the streetlamp, narrowing his eyes as he brought that stick to his lips and drew in a deep drag. I watched as he started at my feet and worked his way up as he blew out, releasing the breath he held and the smoke escaped from the side of his mouth. It amazed me how natural it looked on him, finally realizing that this wasn't the Dean I knew but that this was MY Dean. This was my very own hard-as-nails, screw-the-world and the demons, Dean Winchester and I had hurt him.

"So," I exhaled and leaned up against the car, watching the way his body moved as he breathed. "About earlier."

"You know, you are the biggest pain in my ass!" He said, snuffed the cigarette on the bottom of his boot and tossed the butt into the trash like a basketball player. He advanced quicker than I thought he might and suddenly his hands were on my cheeks, holding my face gently as his thumbs caressed my skin. It took me a second to breath, to take him all in and then I realized that I was up against a car with nowhere to go, and an unstable Winchester holding me. "Honestly, Porter, do you really think I'm a girl or something?"

"Oh so the silent treatment wasn't you holding some kind of grudge or being angry at me?" I questioned, watching the darkness swirl in his eyes.

"If I had opened my mouth at that point, yeah, I would have said something stupid and hurt you and screwed up probably one of the best things that's happened to us in a long, long time," the confession had me tied in knots but I knew that no matter what there were two other best things right inside that door, for both of us. "So, yeah, I kept it shut, I sucked it up and then...I let it go."

"Dean," I paused, not sure what the hell to say to that but I knew one thing, I couldn't let Stull go, I couldn't let John or Cas go, but I reached up and put my hands on his, the ones that so gently held me when I knew there was a monster inside waiting to come out. "What do we do now?"

"Well," he smiled and slid his hand from my cheek to around my waist, pulling me into an embrace. The one he left there gently moved to the back of my head and, ghosting against the back of my neck as I pressed my cheek to his chest and he put his chin on my head, clearing his throat. "How about this, you keep being a pain in my ass for as long as we can, and I'll keep protecting yours, and when this is done, when the threat is gone, then we'll talk. We'll talk about Dad and Cas and I don't know, maybe even Charlie."

"I don't want you to tell me anything that will cause you pain," I felt his chest puff out as he took a deep breath and felt the warmth of it as his lips pressed against the top of mine.

"So, total chick-flick confession time," he mumbled, muffled by the fact that he hadn't eased up on his hold at all. "I think not telling you anything is causing me pain."

"Wow, you really are new to this friends things, aren't you?" I smiled and felt him push back so that I could look into his eyes.

"You were never my friend, Ali, not from the moment we met, not from the second that you looked up at me with that blade in your hand," he whispered, like it was a complete secret, "no, the moment you reached down and touched my brother, you were family."

Thinking about our meeting, the way that he had looked at me when I leaned over Sam, the pain he was in because Sam was hurting, that made the tears flow and I watched the smile flash on his face and then disappear just as quickly as he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.

"Wow, the two of you are make me all tingly and stuff," Sam's amused voice interrupted and I couldn't help the smile as Dean stood straight, looked up at the stars and licked his lips before turning to his brother. I wiped away the rest of the emotions as Dean let me go, turned towards the taller of the two and cleared his throat. "I mean, by all means don't let me interrupt this classic Hallmark moment."

"Screw you, Sam!" Dean snarked as he kissed me quickly on the forehead and walked by, purposely bumping his shoulder as he walked passed.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," Sam smiled as he glanced back at Dean, who was standing in the window, his hands on Danni's shoulders and a wide grin on his face, "but I thought a little nudge in that direction would help."

"Not bad, Winchester, not bad at all." I praised and felt his arm around my shoulder as he leaned against the car with me. I snuggled up close to him.

"So, while you two weren't talking in the diner, I managed to get him to agree to lay off you for about an hour." I looked up at him and felt his hands at my waist, before I knew it I was sitting on the hood of the Escape with Sam between my legs looking up at me. "Rules though."

"Sam, I'm older than you are, there is no way I'm doing rules for a bar like some kind of underage teeny-bopper looking to sneak a few shots." I laughed and he shook his head.

"Not rules for that, you can have what you want, but you have to promise to text me when you want to leave, Dean and I, or just me or just him, one of us will be there to walk your teetering ass home." Teetering, really? He was teetering on the edge of something he wasn't even ready for if he kept being so damn controlling.

"You're such a control freak!"

I reached out and grabbed his chin, a gesture that I was sure to get some sort of quick reaction to, but he just relaxed against my fingers and let me tilt his head back where I had more access to his neck. I could hear his quick breaths as my lips moved across the stubbled skin just under his jaw and when I brushed my teeth against him, the man nearly growled. His fingers tightened on my thighs as I continued and at one point, I swore he stopped breathing.

"I can't wait to get you alone," I whispered as I trailed up to his ears, "I want to do so many bad things to you."

"Then you should decide right now to either stop or go because you're pushing a fine line on how much self-control I have." He literally moaned in my ear and licking my lips, which also gave me a taste of his skin and a rise from him, I backed away slowly, releasing his chin as my fingers branded their way down his chest. Sam took in a quick deep breath and grabbed my wrist before those bright blue-green eyes, the ones that suddenly seemed to glow, focused on me. "Go to the bar, woman, before you can't walk for a week."

"Promises, promises." I whispered and suddenly felt his hand on my ass and he pulled me so close I could feel the reaction to my playful teasing, but the look in his eyes told me that I was definitely in trouble.

He stepped back, giving me some space and putting some distance between the temptation and himself. He winked at me as Danni and Dean walked out the door. I smiled as I looked past my Moose and saw Dean's hand protectively on the back of Danni's neck. The four of us stood next to the Escape, the distance between us grew smaller, especially with me sitting on the hood.

"You ready?" I questioned and watched as Danni grinned.

"For a couple shots and some down time? Always!" She winked and looked at Sam, who still had that predator look in his eyes. "You going to be okay there, Sammy?"

"Don't," Sam whispered, shaking his head, but his argument died down rather quickly as she smiled at him and he sighed.

Dean stepped up to me, standing right where Sam was moments before and I looked at him with a bit of confusion. I watched him reach behind his back, and then his arms came around behind me and I felt his fingers on the skin of my back, as he lifted my shirt, and I straightened. They were warm and rough but it was the cold metal that slid against my skin, dipping down into the back of my jeans that made me take a breath in as I gazed down into his eyes. He cleared his throat, licked his lips and stepped back releasing my shirt.

"I need to feel that you're safe, so bear with me and just take the damn gun back." He growled softly, but it didn't matter how low he said it, the other two had heard.

"In the spirit of trust, since I know this is really hard for you," I traced my finger along his hairline, "I'll take the gun."

"Good, now go, cause your hour is ticking," he winked as he slapped my thigh and helped me down from the car so that I wouldn't scratch the new paint job.

Hmm, an hour without Winchesters breathing down my neck, what the hell was I going to do with my night?


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Danni and I sat at the bar, looking around at the patrons trying to get a good field for the place, but it was swarming with people from all different walks of life, bikers, preppies, a couple hippy looking characters and my favorite, the nerds who were drunk enough to approach every woman in the place.

I turned and smiled at her as we hogged the corner seats way in the back, a perfect spot to keep our backs to the wall and our eyes on the crowds. I shook my head as the bartender, a gentle looking young man with unruly black hair grinned at us as he put the towel down and replaced the pretzel bowl.

"What can I get for you beautiful ladies tonight?" I grinned at his voice, happy and upbeat and I sat back as I raised an eyebrow.

"Orange Soda and vodka." I replied and looked at Danni with a raised brow.

"Hmm, house margarita, if you don't mind." She smiled widely and we both admired his backside as he walked away. Danni turned to me and rested her elbow on the counter as she popped a pretzel in her mouth. "Finally an hour alone."

"Yeah, imagine how long that's going to actual last," I placed both of my lower arms on the counter and watched the people that moved about.

"You're right, we better drink fast." She laughed and I turned to look at her with a grin. "Seriously, besides the drama of the boys, who I swear are more girls than anything, this has been the best weekend."

"Yeah, sorry about all the issues with Dean, the man makes me wild." I sighed but the smile didn't fade.

"Please, when he called you little girl, I was about to haul off and punch him." This made me look at her questioningly. "What, no one talks to my baby sister that way!"

"Yeah, well I thought the same thing, swing and hope for the best, but that is one really...really scary Winchester and right then I don't even think Sam was willing to go that far." We both thanked the young man who set our drinks down in front of us and I raised my glass as Danni did hers. "To more awesome adventures."

"And figuring out Dean Winchester." Danni laughed.

"Amen to that." I replied, our glasses clinked together and both of us took a long sip. Damn, it had been a long time since I had a drink and I had forgotten how good soda and vodka was.

The hour wore on and we moved on from our drinks to just plain shots, her's was Patron, mine varied but I got a few shots of whipped vodka in alone before starting in on the Kahlua. We were enjoying ourselves, tucking away in our quiet little corner of the bar when Danni looked up and two men made their way over. You could tell by the look in their eyes that they were on the hunt and a look passed between the two of us, if it was a hunt they wanted…

"You two lovely ladies here alone?" A stockier man with a receding hairline questioned as he leaned on the bar. I watched as Danni shot a glance at the bartender, giving him just a small signal of the unwanted visitors.

"Actually our other halves are around here somewhere." I answered.

"Really because we've been watching you all night and no one has come over." A taller, rougher looking one spoke up.

"I didn't say they were HERE, I said they were around here." I replied, giving him a smile, hoping to not set him off but Danni placed a hand on my arm, she could sense the same thing I could, something about this whole thing was just off.

"Ah, so you're not from around here are you?" The stocky one asked.

"Well, not really, we travel a lot," and I felt that hand tighten, as I felt her stiffen behind me.

"Bud and I do too, truckers from South Dakota."

"Nice," I nodded and that was when I smelled it, the faint scent of sulfur. Crap, demons? Really? And here I thought we were going to have a nice night off. "So, truckers, very cool."

"And what do you two ladies do?" Boy, were they trying to be slick or what?

"Oh, a little bit of this and some of that," Danni explained, "kind of a state by state thing."

"Yeah, it's sort of a...I don't know, a family business, I guess you could call it." I smiled and we both watched as the grins disappeared from the men's faces. I knew those words would set them off, knew it would make them show their other sides and sure enough the black eyes flashed from both of them. "Huh, there's something you don't see every day."

"Yeah, demons in this neck of the woods?" Danni whispered, then casually grabbed the shot glass that was set in front of her, but I knew she was doing much more than that, with my back to her, most of her body blocked by mine, I knew she was sending out a distress call, a short text to Dean that we had trouble brewing.

"What would you two know about demons?" The tall one questioned and I glanced up as I watched the door to the bar open.

Sam walked in casually, he looked around, caught my eye for just as second as I looked back at the men in front of me, and then made a circle the long way around the bar. Dean moved in shortly after, catching an empty seat at the bar across the room from us and ordered a beer. He looked from me to Danni and back, raised the long neck and gave a grin.

"You know, you pick up a thing or two along the way." Danni answered and leaned closer to look at them. "You wouldn't believe what we picked up in the last state we were in."

"You two look like nice young girls, why don't you come with us out back and we can show you how to have a real good time, since you know, your guys kind of left you hanging." The stocky one gave an evil grin. I casually made eye contact with Sam, then turned towards the back door, weighed my options then caught the eye of the man across from us before I stood up.

"Lead the way." Danni followed suit and the four of us made our way out towards the alley, unbeknownst to the two demons that followed that backup was already standing by. As we stepped out the back door, into the dingy back alley, I stopped and turned to look at the pair that was grinning wildly, like they had just cornered their next big ticket, but I felt Danni step up beside me and I gave her a little grin. "So, what's this good time you were talking about?"

I watched as the lanky one pulled a knife from the back of his jeans and let the light shine down on it from the lamp above. He watched my gaze go to the weapon and his smile gave me a sense that he had no idea what was coming next. I watched him advance, gave Danni a tap on the side to move and waited for the man to get close enough to me.

I didn't make any sudden moves, but I backed up as he came closer until I was up against the fence. My fingers wrapped around the chainlink as I glanced at Danni from the corner of my eye. Her standoff with the stocky demon was at about the same impasse that mine was, but we we're there to fight, we were there to bait.

I felt the blade against my neck, the edge of the cold steel just under my chin and I couldn't help the sadistic smile that formed because, yeah this was going to go over well with the Winchester that I had come to know. I locked my eyes on the man before me and dug deep into my memories. How did it start, which order did the words go?

 _Trust yourself!_ That little voice whispered, one that I had come to know, not one that I knew in person. It was...he was deep and husky, almost sinful, and suddenly I recognized him, trusted him and realized he had been there all along. _Let it out, you know this, you are meant for this._

I took a deep breath, and opened my mouth, letting the words flow quietly. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio, infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis, congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo draco maledicte…"

"Shut it, Bitch!" he growled, closing the space as he pressed harder. I felt the breath leave me as his hand came up and that space between his thumb and pointer grasped my neck. "Are you really a hunter? You seem pretty scared."

"Maybe it's a ploy to get you close enough, demon," I whispered, feeling him close the gap in his hands, feeling him begin to life. "Maybe, I just wanted you distracted."

"From what? Your little hunter girlfriend?" He snickered, but the smile faded as his eyes turned black. I felt the air leaving my lungs but the shadow that loomed behind him, just as tall, but much broader, allowed me to take the shallow breaths I needed to stay conscious and lean into the knife.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus," I started again and listened to his snarl, but that sound turned to pain as Sam wrapped an arm around the man's throat, locking him in a choke hold.

Sam's eyes were dark, not even a hint of the blue-green shined through. His pupils were dilated so much that it was just an edge around the blackness, and he stared at me as his voice deepened continuing the Ritual Romanum, but it was so full of anger and hate that I shivered even as the knife left my throat. Glancing past him, I saw that Dean was holding the other in the same say, but there was no blade, just their fist to the back of the neck and I suddenly could smell the burning flesh.

With those last few words: Audi Nos, I watched Sam let the man go, watched as he seemed to seize and suddenly I was ducking as the black dust seemed to explode from him. The smell of sulfur permeated the air as the other man did the same. It took me a moment to catch my breath before I lowered my arms and looked at the body on the ground before me, and then up at Sam, who was breathing heavily, his hands clenched in fists.

"Is he dead?" I asked as I reached out for Sam, whose arms were around me as soon as my fingers began to stretch in that direction. I felt him take in a few deep breaths, trying to catch his heart as his lips descended roughly onto the top of my head.

"No," Dean spoke up and I moved to see that Danni was tucked safely in the arms of the older brother, but his eyes were locked on me. "Unless the demons used them as punching bags first, these two should be okay."

"What did you do?" I shook my head and stepped back from Sam. Both men watched as I squatted down and turned the head of the unconscious man. There, like a cattle brand, raised and red against the skin, was what resembled a Devil's Trap, but the symbols inside the pentacle were just a bit different. "What is that?"

I took Sam's hand, which was surprisingly easy considering his eyes were still hard as nails and his body was tense for a fight, but he let me uncurl his fingers as I looked at the ring that graced his ring finger, one I had never seen before.

"It's Pagan," I whispered, and felt Sam's fingers suddenly curl around mine, like the admission that I recognized it set him into something protective. "These aren't the Devil's trap sigils."

"That's because it's not one," his voice, still deep with the anger, caressed my skin as he leaned down close to my ear, "you need to be careful how quick you are to speak, especially about stuff like that." The warning was directed at my knowledge of the occult and I got that but it made me snap up to look at him. "The sigil is a banishing one, expels the demon from the body, leaving the host alive."

"Expels?" I laughed and shook my head. "It dusted the whole area, what kind of expulsion is that? A sigil alone won't do that."

"The ring is filled with holy oil." Sam whispered, sliding it off his finger to show me the underside of the bulk of it, there was a small refillable compartment. "When it touches host skin, it pulls the demon out through every pore, essentially creating the dust you saw."

"How do demons get in and out in your show?" Dean questioned as he stepped closer, still holding Danni's hand.

"Ah, they just kind of snake out through the mouth, like smoke." I shrugged and shook my head, as i watched Sam slip the ring back on. "I guess visual effects make that the obvious way."

"Ya think?" Dean grumbled. "Let's bail before someone comes looking."

"We can't." I answered, pretty quickly and Dean dropped her hand to approach, his hand coming up to grip my shoulder.

"There are two unconscious men on the ground out here, Ali, you need to leave...now." I think he thought I was in shock because he was stern and direct, staring me down, locking me into a stare. "This could get you arrested."

"Dean," I reached out and put a hand on his chest as I stepped back from his grasp, "Danni and I have to go back in, we have to make an appearance."

"Are you out of your gourd or just plain pigheaded?" Dean snapped, his eyes narrowing, but that was when Sam did the strangest thing, he stepped between us. I expected him to put his back to his brother, to defend him, but Sam stood sideways, like a referee keeping the distance between Dean and I as this conversation began to look like another epic battle. "Sam, talk some sense into her."

"Actually, she has a point, Dean." Sam whispered, his voice slowly losing that dark edge, and both of us snapped around to look at him. "Look, everyone saw the girls walk out with them, if they don't go back in with some sort of excuse, what do you think is going to happen?" Dean switched his stance, looked at me in aggravation knowing that his brother was right but unwilling to admit it. "They have to go in, get comfortable at the bar for just a little longer and then they can walk out scot-free."

Dean took a few deep breaths, sighed and turned away. He stopped near Danni, placed a hand on the left side of her neck as he stood to her right and looked over her expression before he turned back to Sam and I.

"Make it quick or I'm coming in to get you." He glared at me, protectively but I waited until he kissed Danni on the temple, let go and disappeared into the darkness to smile.

"Your brother needs a swift kick," I mumbled and watched as Sam reached out and caressed my cheek with the tips of his fingers.

"I agree with him though, make it quick." His kiss was chaste and before we knew it, Danni and I were standing in the quiet alley alone.

I stepped over long-and-lanky, stepped up beside the woman who looked as if she were ready to run, not that she was afraid but her fight-or-flight was on edge of breaking loose and I took her arm gently, as I glanced down at the bodies.

"Come on, let's go get one more drink," I whispered and the two of headed back inside. The bartender wasn't at all shocked that we were there slipping into our seats once again and slowly he placed two shots down on the counter. "Are you a mind reader?"

"Just a man know can tell when something's up." he winked and when he stepped away, I noticed the edge of a tribal tattoo that peaked out from under the rolled cuff of his sleeve. I stared at him for a while, as he served several other patrons before coming back towards us. Danni had finished both shots and he stopped to look at me. "Did you really think you were the only hunters in the area?"

"Did you really think it was a good idea to let us go out there with a couple of demons?" I whispered, leaning over the bar. He smiled at me, a bright knowing smile and flipped the bar rag over his shoulder before putting both hands on the counter, leaning closer to me.

"You have the protection of the Winchesters, how much more safe could you possibly be?" He replied quietly and watched as I sat back in shock. He knew who Sam and Dean were, he recognized him but it was then that I started to realize just who I was looking at, except for the subtle difference in attitude.

"Caleb?" His grin widened and he winked as he walked away. Danni sat forward and stared, her glances alternating between me and the man who was tending bar. "Holy Crap!"

"Didn't he die in season one?" Danni questioned, just taking in the fact that man stood there.

"Yeah," I breathed softly, "twelve years ago. Meg killed him."

"We need to go." Danni grabbed my arm, pulling me from the stool as I continued to stare in disbelief. His eyes followed us until we were out the door and walking quietly along the road to the hotel just across the street.

I could see the tip of Dean's cigarette from where we approached as he paced impatiently by the Escape. The closer we got, the smaller the space between his steps became until he dropped the stick and stomped it out with his foot. I could see his eyes were trained on Danni, so when he covered the distance between the front of the car and the bumper with two strides, I stepped aside.

I watched his hands come up quickly on her cheeks cupping her face in his hands and his lips descended on hers with a need I had only seen from his brother. A need to connect, a need to feel and right then I smiled, because he finally let that need take over. Stiff at first, Danni wasn't sure how to respond but I watched her arms come up and slip over his shoulder, as his moved from her face to tangle in all of that hair. I heard the door open and looked up as I leaned against the post, waiting for Sam as he stepped up beside me.

"Hmmph," Sam exclaimed as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, the whole left half of his body pressed against my back. "Do you think that he cares that you're being a little voyeur and just standing here watching?"

"Are you telling me it's wrong to watch this unfold?" I grinned as he leaned down closer and placed his mouth as close as he could to my ear, breathing warmth over my skin.

"It only becomes kinky if you keep watching when the clothes start coming off," he answered and I felt him take his left hand from his pocket before it slipped around me. "Come on, I need you to check something for me."

I grinned up at him, took his hand in mine and let him lead me into the room, still shooting glances at the kissing couple. I watched as Sam closed the door that connected our rooms and then proceeded to draw the curtains shut as well.

I sat on the edge of the bed, watching the way he moved, quiet, methodical, and slowly, after everything was looked over, after all the wards were checked because, yeah, why wouldn't we want the room protected against vampires, he leaned against the dresser.

"How did you know about the symbol?" Sam questioned softly. So much for me checking something, this was the hunter Sam wanting to know about the little slip-ups I had been making.

"You want to know about the witchcraft?"

"I want to know how you could have possibly known about wards that no one has ever seen, vampire hex bags from another country and a banishing symbol on rings that we only got a little over a year ago, and don't tell me that your show told you it, or your libraries. This isn't stuff that people write down." Yep, he was worried, beyond worried about the fact that I had known what he was doing. "You are one, aren't you?"

"A witch?" I smiled, laughed nervously actually. "You have a gun with witch killing bullets and you...what...want me to own that title?"

"I'm not going to shoot you," Sam sighed.

"How many witches have you let live?" I watched as he crossed his arms but lowered his head as if he understood my hesitation. "Sam, you hunt the supernatural, you kill things that aren't human."

"But you are human," he stated and looked up at me, "and more intelligent than any hunter I have ever met, so it makes me wonder…"

"If what? If I'm going to go dark side and let the little spellcaster in me take over?" I covered my mouth with my hand as I closed my eyes. "I told you, I knew a witch, who knew a witch."

"And this witch?" he moved over to kneel in front of me. I opened my eyes only when I felt his hands on my thighs, and I looked down into the brightness of his.

"She was my grandmother." I answered and watched his lids close. "She showed me a lot of things, Sam, especially after the vampire attack, ways to protect myself, but she never...she never used it for anything but good."

"Ali, witches…"

"Are not all monsters, Sam." I sighed, reached down and placed a hand on his cheek as I leaned down towards him, "I'm not a monster, not anymore."

"You never were," he answered and came up quickly, closing that gap as his lips crushed up against mine.

No, to him I never was, never would be a monster, and as he moved me back to lay against the bed, his form hovering above me as his lips drew out sounds and feelings that only he could, I knew that he would keep me safe from anything and anyone that would try to convince me otherwise.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Silence finally filled the night, at least until the water shut off in the bathroom and the door came to rest, the annoying noise of it squeaking sent my teeth on edge. Dressed in one of Sam's extra large flannels, I stopped by the wooden door that separated our room and listened to the blissful quiet that came from the space beyond it.

Stepping away with a smile on my face, I looked over the man on the bed, who lay with only a sheet covering his lower half and his hands behind his head. Sam was staring at the ceiling, a peaceful look in his eyes as I made way over and sat next to him, the dinghy bandage that graced his stomach taunting me.

With soft fingers, I traced the edge of the tape, bit down on the corner of my lip and watched his face as I tugged at the edge. There was no expression in his eyes as it pulled at his skin, no reaction to the pain that the tape may or may not have been giving him and this gave me another idea.

He seemed so lost in his world, so caught up on what was going on in his own head that he never noticed that I moved. I knelt beside him on the bed, and leaned over. I could see the way he lay so still as my lips brushed against the skin along his navel. The muscles tightened below my touch as I caressed my way over and along the edge of the sheet and finally, I felt movement from above as his hand came down to rest gently on my shoulder. I had managed to pull my hair back in a ponytail and with that out of the way, I could look up and see his face without the obstruction.

He let out a soft sigh as my mouth gently grazed over the scars on his ribs, and my fingers followed suit, but it was when my fingers ran up and my lips began to move lower that I really felt him. I managed to move that sheet away from him, to expose everything about him to the chill of the room air and I smiled at his attention.

His moans became deep-throated growls the lower I got, until I wrapped my hands around the width of him and slowly began to stroke the taunt skin. He arched up to my kiss as I blanketed his stomach with lips and gentle nips at his hips but as I moved my mouth lower, I felt his hand move from my shoulder to cup underneath my arms, bringing me up to meet him as he sat up.

His eyes were full of lust and want but his lips were parted, panting as he stared deeply into mine.

"No," he whispered, licking the dryness from his mouth as my hand snaked up and around his heaviness and his lids fluttered, "not with your mouth."

"I have never met a man that said no to that," I whispered, curious as to why he had stopped me.

"I told you," he answered, moving from under my arms to my waist where he gave me a gentle push, and I smiled as I straddled his legs, "you'll never be like the others, so no, not with your mouth."

I got what he was hinting at, the "damage" he thought he could do also tied into oral, and I sat back on my heels before I pulled up once again with my hand, this time his arm dropped back, bracing himself on the bed as his eyes closed.

"You don't mind this?" I asked looking over the way his neck looked, the tempting open way he leaned his head back.

I slid closer, placing a hand on his shoulder as I teased those little noises from him and I let my mouth find every crevice of his neck, every dip and curve, and the soft skin that I was able to take between my teeth, which drew out the growls from deep within him as he started to buck up against my hand.

His jaw clenched as he fought to stay in control, to allow me to take control, but he was losing the battle as his weight shifted all to his right arm as his left hand shot up to grab the ponytail on the back of my head. With a gentle tug, he pulled my face from his neck and brought his lips down on mine, still rutting against my fingers, still setting the pace for what might have been his undoing but just as quickly as he claimed my lips, he pulled my hand away from the ache between us.

I smiled at him, wanting to know just what his thoughts were as he held my hand, and closed the distance between our lips once more, only to stop a mere breath from touching.

"I want you," he breathed, it was a quick confession even as his body shook with need and I felt his tongue gently brush along my lips. "We can't, you have to stop."

"Why can't we?" I wondered and watched his eyes dart to the nightstand, at the ripped foil packet and this alone made me grin. "Oh, that," his eyes locked on mine quickly and I reached into the pocket of the flannel that I still wore, pulling out a similar wrapper. "Did you really think I only went in there to wash my hands?"

Sam's eyes went wide as he slowly released his hold, like one finger at a time released it and I ripped open the wrapper between my teeth and my free hand. I couldn't keep the grin away as he leaned back on both shaking arms once again and watched as I rolled the condom down over him, stretching it until it stopped.

His eyes were wide as I moved, rising up to move over, positioning him just where I wanted before I slowly pressed down. His eyes rolled as my breath caught, I was more than ready for him but the hunger to have him completely elicited sounds that I didn't know I could make. Sam stayed as still as he could as I adjusted pulling up and then taking him in more with each slow stroke of my body.

His lips pulled back, showing me his teeth as I finally came to rest, hilt deep some may say and I caught my breath before rising up again. This was it, this was the moment that his resolve shattered and his arms wrapped around me.

He moved to the edge of the bed, so that his knees were bent and his feet set firmly on the ground. His lips captured mine as we moved. He clenched my body, one hand across my back, gripping my hips and the other seemed to help with the motions as felt him fill me over and over. It was a marathon race to see who could hold up the longest, but it seemed that even as I thought I was winning, I wasn't.

Sam had other plans. He stood straight, grasping me as I wrapped my legs around him and he moved to the dresser, the closest place where he could stand, still buried deep inside and he used the height of the furniture to get the angle he wanted. One hand still on the small of my back, pulling me to the edge of the dresser, he used the other to brace himself against the wall, which left me with nothing to do but hold on for the ride.

He was rushed and needy and wild as his lips crushed and bruised but his pace never slowed, never eased until I could feel that earth shattering build-up of my own and I rode it, as I did his, until my toes curled and my fingers dug into his skin. As I spiraled over the edge, I felt him swell and let go, his own release more primal sounding than the last before he slowed, letting himself rest fully sheathed within me as his sweat-soaked hair stuck to not only him but me when he gently pressed his forehead against mine.

Catching his breath, he stole sweet little kisses in between, not ready to back away, not ready to let me go, at least not at that moment. We must have sat there, stood there, hell just stayed there for five minutes or more, catching our breaths before he backed away and the empty feeling he left me with seemed foreign. He scooped me up and moved me towards the bed, my head resting on his shoulder as he managed to remove the protective latex and toss it without making a mess, or so much as moving too far from me.

Sam grabbed the sheet, or the comforter, not sure which it was, and pulled it up around us as he molded his body to mine, bringing me in so that every part of him touched every part of me that he find and his warmth surrounded me, making me only vaguely aware that though all of that, I was still wearing his shirt.

It was the sound of the door between our rooms that shook me from my dreamless bliss, and as I forced myself awake enough to open my eyes, I caught the naked ass end of Dean moving through the room.

"Dean!" I growled and rolled my eyes as he stopped and twirled in my direction, a hand...well two, covering what he could of his junk as he looked down the bed at me. He cocked his head just a bit, raised an eyebrow and scanned the length of me, which was only covered by the shirt, and even then barely covering anything from the waist down.

"What?" He questioned, the volume of his voice was low, as if he were trying not to wake Sam, but the tone was just as snappy as ever.

"Nice ass," I smiled and watched as he winked, gave me a "you're not so bad yourself" grin and turned back towards the room.

"Nice rack," he whispered, as he turned back to look at me quickly before he disappeared into the other room. I shook my head and looked down, hoping he was kidding, and found that I was indeed completely buttoned.

"What an asshole!" Sam grumbled and pushed his face deeper into the back of my neck, ghosting kisses along my skin. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Hmm," I mumbled and closed my eyes once again, "now I know why you're so traumatized."

"Hey, you would be to if you had to look at his ass all the time," he smiled as he kissed my cheek. "Go back to sleep, I'm going to go get some coffee."

"Did you even rest?" I whispered as he moved from behind me, tucking the blankets around my legs once again.

"I'll rest when I'm dead," he said softly against my ear as he kissed my head and I listened to him get dressed with my eyes closed.

I heard the door clicked shut, and the lock twist tight before I found myself falling back into the darkness.

I was startled awake once more by the feeling of being watched, and instantly I groaned because my first and only thought was the man who had tromped through the room naked earlier, ever though I wasn't sure how much time had actually past.

Listening to the sounds of the room, I could tell that either I was alone or Dean was indeed there just holding his breath. I forced my eyes open, wanting nothing more than to just keep them closed, and took a peek at the room in my immediate view. I must have turned over because I saw the light streaming in through the window, the small table with my bag on it, and the edge of the dresser, which I smiled at fondly, think of the hours just before.

Nothing out of the ordinary here, but that feeling wouldn't go away. Letting out a low growl of frustration, I turned over, taking the blankets with me as I flopped my head down on the pillow, now facing the bathroom door and the pair of legs that sat on the bed beside me. Dark, dress pants clad legs that I didn't recognize and suddenly I sat up, the gun that Sam had left under the pillow firmly in my hand and pointed directly at the man who silently occupied the space.

I looked him over, my eyes focusing on the bright sea of blue that seemed to illuminated in his eyes. His black hair was a stylish mess but aside from the fact that the tie he wore was crooked, he was dressed like a business man, albeit a disheveled one.

"Jesus Christ!" I mumbled, shock running through me, as I flipped the safety off the gun. Vampire killing bullets, witch killing ones, yeah no matter what this gun was packed with, it wasn't touching this one.

"No, sorry." He answered and I instantly recognized the voice that had penetrated my thoughts at the bar the night before, the ones that encouraged me to trust my own abilities.

I licked my lips, even though the confusion and the haze of sleep still held me in a daze. "Cas?"

"Ali," his voice was stoic, not so much monotoned but definitely the deep one I had heard, and I felt my hand shake. "There's no need for the gun, I'm not going to hurt you."

"What?" I started, but it wasn't that I was questioning what he had just said, it was that I needed to know what the hell was going on and couldn't find the words. I flipped the safety up and released the grip on the gun so I could set it down on the table. "Cas, what are you doing here?"

"I'm surprised you recognize me, I'm not exactly like your angel on the show." He looked down at his folded hands sheepishly before looking up at me under his brow, giving me an innocent look that I immediately recognized.

"Are you kidding, you're exactly like him, except for the trenchcoat." I shrugged and watched as he touched the tie he wore.

"Yes, well I see no need for that particular article of clothing," he answered.

"What are...what happened, why won't either of them talk about you? You're their family, Cas." I kept repeating his name, not even sure that I wasn't dreaming to begin with, and if I was that would make perfect sense as to why no one had come in at the sound of his voice.

"It's...a long story," was all he offered, "and not our current issue."

"It should be since I almost get my head bitten off every time I bring your name up to Dean."

"That's quite impossible really, the human mouth…"

"Cas, so not the point!" I stopped him and pulled the covers with me as I sat on the edge of the bed, running a hand through my hair. "Current issue?"

"The vampires that are following you, Ali, they're very dangerous." His blue eyes came up to lock on mine, but they weren't the only thing that captured me. His lips and the way his mouth moved were so intriguing that I couldn't help but stare.

"Yeah, got that, so," he rolled his eyes, must have been a Dean trait that he picked up but it was still cute as hell.

"There is more to them than just a nest gone bad."

"Okay, you confusing enigma of an angel, would you just spit out whatever it is you're trying to tell me?"

"Your blood, it connects them to you." I sat back when I heard that and licked my lips, trying to get rid of the sudden feeling of being buried underground. "Sam and Dean didn't just find them, I lead them to the nest, sort of, and there was a reason I did, because… Ali, they've been following you since you left your house."

"How? How is that possible? The nest was established before I even got here."

"The main one was, yes, but it branched off with a specific purpose in mind," he stopped and looked me over, "to get to you even if it meant risking their numbers against Sam and Dean."

"Oh my God," I sighed and ran a hand over my face, trying to get reality to set it, or at least some resemblance of reality before I looked at him once more. "So what do I do now?"

"You need to find the head vampire, the sire of the nest."

"Yeah, I kinda got that, but how?"

"Don't worry, you won't have to look far."

"Cas, seriously, I get the riddles and all but at least tell me one thing," he let out a breath, one that made no sound, which seemed to be just for dramatic effect. "Where will you be?"

"I won't abandon you, I haven't abandoned them, I'll be there if you need me." I turned to hear the key in the lock and when I turned back to the angel, he was gone.

"Cas?" I whispered quietly and looked around the room and now I knew first hand why Dean always had an issue with him popping out. "Son of a bitch!"

Sam stepped through the door and looked at me oddly as I sat there. He glanced at the gun that was on the nightstand and immediately put the coffee down. I watched without a word as he checked everything, his own gun drawn and hanging loosely at his side. When finally finished his sweep of the room, he sat on the bed across from me in the same spot that Castiel had been sitting and looked over the confusion on my face.

"Why's the gun out?" He whispered as he placed a hand gently on my thigh.

"Cas," I replied and watched as he brought a hand up to his mouth, rubbing it across the stubble on his face, "he was here."

"Ali, Cas can't be here, he's been in the wind for months," Sam sighed, and even though I could hear the frustration in his voice, he tried to keep his words soft and comforting.

"Okay, sure," I nodded, agreeing with what he said for just a moment before leaning towards him. "Then please explain the man with the bright blue eyes and black hair that was just sitting on the bed you're on?"

"What?" Sam sat back, his eyes clouding with anger. "He was here?"

"No, I'm making this crap up!" I snapped and rubbed my eyes. "Yes, he was here."

"Why?" I let out a breath, one of aggravation and took a deep breath.

"The vampires." Sam stood up suddenly and disappeared through the open door. Yeah this was going to go over well.

I heard Dean growl a "what" at his brother but it seemed like only seconds after that Sam was walking back in the room with a half-naked brother following close behind. Shirtless, and apparently unable to zip and button the blue jeans he wore, Dean stared down at me as I crossed my legs under the sheet and got ready for an earful.

"Cas was here?" Dean's gruff morning voice questioned and I looked up at him. I swear sometimes my life was on repeat.

"I woke up, thought you were sitting here being a creeper and turned to find this angel sitting on the bed, yes CAS WAS HERE!" I snapped and rolled my eyes.

"How do you know it was him?" This got me to give him just a look, just one of those "are you freaking kidding me" looks and he rolled his eyes. "Okay, so...what did he want?"

"He told me that the nest has been following me since Massachusetts, that more than Sam, they want me or more to the point, the sire wants me. He didn't tell me why, he said that my blood connects me to them." I answered the best I could because it all happened so fast.

"Cryptic Son of a Bitch!" Dean growled and put his hands on those hips, and I couldn't help the way my eyes followed his fingers down as they met his hipbones, which disappeared below the low riding jeans and the obvious fact that he wasn't wearing anything else under them. I heard him clear his throat and I quickly looked away. "So, Cas came to warn you, that's great, now if he would just answer his phone."

"He said he wouldn't abandon us," I whispered and looked at each one of them for a moment before Dean looked around and settled on me.

"Yeah, well, we've all heard that line before." Dean grouched, walked over to the table and grabbed the coffee with his name written on it and gave me one last glance before he disappeared back into the other room.

Sam hadn't said a word, just sat looking at his hands and I had nothing else to say. I flipped the blankets off and stood up to walk by him, but he reached out and took my hand in his. I closed my eyes for just a second before looking down into the blue-green eyes that gazed up at me. He kissed the back of my hand and slowly let me go as I walked away, closing the bathroom door behind me.

The shower used to be my getaway, the place where I would go to escape my kids but now it just seemed to be a way for people to corner me in a space where I had no way out, naked or otherwise. This time it was the slight bit of chill in the air that alerted me to the person in the room, which prompted me to reach out and snatch the towel from the edge of the sink before shutting off the water and opening the curtain wide enough to see Dean, yet again, sitting on the edge of the toilet seat.

"Don't you have your own girlfriend to stalk?" I questioned as I grabbed a small hand towel to dry my hair with and I turned to lean on the counter to watch him.

"Yeah," he said dryly, looking up at me as he leaned forward on his elbows that sat on his knees, "but it's so much more fun to watch you squirm."

"Bite me!" I snarked and tossed the wet towel at him before I picked up the brush. I watched him smell the towel, take in the hint of my shampoo and put it aside before he looked up at me again. "So, a: does Sam know you're in here and b: what do you want this time?"

"Actually, yeah, Sam does, and it was Danni that sent me in," Dean whispered and ran a hand through the spikes of his hair. I moved to sit, since I was done standing so far away from him, the strange ache to have him close was becoming overwhelming. I sat on the edge of the tub and put my knee against his thigh.

"So?"

"I don't know." He shrugged, shaking his head. "I'm...I'm not used to this, ya know, feeling for someone this way."

"Are we talking about Danni, cause yeah, you're supposed to feel a connection with someone when you're that close." He looked over at me, lips parted and then he pulled his bottom one in, worrying on it just a little. "It's not about Danni?"

"No, it's about you."

OF course it was, could anything this morning NOT be about me? In fact, I was kind of hoping that none of it was about me anymore. I was tired of being the center of it all, (but kind of hard to do when you're the one telling the story). I sighed and shook my head.

"Okay, I'll bite, what's going on?"

"Are you okay?" I gave him a little laugh, as I shook my head and sat back a bit.

"Dean, I haven't been okay since the jump, but I'm pretty sure that's not what you're referring to, so..."

"Yeah, I get it," he looked down at the tiles in front of him. "Look, before you, it was me and Sam, or me, Sam and Cas, whichever way that happened to go, but now... Ali, Sam can take care of himself, I know that, and he's my brother and I will always protect him, he will always be first but you… I can't stay away from you."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"It kinda is," he admitted and looked up at me as I closed my eyes for a second. "I have...something for Danni, it's been there since the moment her snarky little ass came into the picture and you're right, I don't trust easy, but last night...it sealed it."

"Sealed what, the fact that you're human and your emotions run deeper than "what can I off today" and "don't touch my brother"?" He nodded as he sat back, and the smile faded from my face. "I'm sorry, I guess we're both not used to somethings, like a serious conversation with each other. You have feelings for Danni, that's great, it's awesome, I mean...but I still don't get what it has to do with me."

"I need you," he sighed, and he let it out like a breath, like I was that breath and I shook my head, letting my tongue run along my lips. "I need to know your safe, I think about you every second that we're not together and it's not that I want you," my eyes set on his quickly when he said that because want and need were awful close to the same thing. "you're beautiful, Ali, but I want Danni and to need you, it's just so…"

"Utterly confusing and terrifying?" I added and watched as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, I'm getting that vibe, but not just from you, Dean. I need you too, I mean I need you close, to feel you, to touch you. Hell, I can tell when you've been in a room just by the way it smells."

"You saying I smell bad?"

"No, dammit, stop talking and listen," I growled and watched him sit up, brows raised. "The point of this whole thing is this, you and I are connected, I don't know how or why but we will always need each other, in some way. Wanting someone else, not a crime, Dean...in fact, please act on it."

He sat quiet for a minute and thought about what I had said before the sly grin started to climb up his cheeks and his hand rubbed his knee for a minute before he turned his eyes to mine.

"So, ah, you and Sammy… when should I save the date?"

"You're a dick... get out!" I snapped and he winked at me as the smile rose on my face. I stood and followed him to the door when he flung it open, reached over and cupped my cheek, running his thumb along my lips before he kissed me on the forehead.

With a sigh, I closed the door behind me and started to get dressed but it was just as I was about to pull my shirt over my head that the door opened again and I straightened before I turned around.

"Seriously, Dean, this "need" thing is getting a little out of hand," I turned and looked at the chest that was in front of me and then my eyes moved up to stare into Sam's. "Well, this is a vast improvement over who I thought had just come in."

"Dean had a "need" thing?" Sam smiled.

"Dean has a lot of "need" things, Sam, you should know that." I grinned and continued to pull my shirt down. He smiled as he moved aside and let me go about the task of brushing my teeth and my hair (not at the same time). "He came in here to tell me that he needed me but wanted Danni, as much as that makes any sense."

"It makes perfect sense," Sam shrugged and I turned to look at him, the toothbrush hanging from my mouth. "I want you, I need you, but I need my brother too, there will always be a connection there."

"I get the connection but I'm not your sister, DEFINITELY not your sister, and not Dean's either so what's the connection? Why that need from me?" I rinsed out my mouth and shrugged. "Can we talk about Cas?"

"Yeah, actually, that would be a good idea," Sam sighed. "Why did he come to you?"

"I think he has been for a while," I answered, and crossed my arms as I leaned back against the seat. "Um, the night at the hotel, actually when I stopped at the Waffle House, where we saw each other, i started hearing his voice."

"You heard him?"

"Yeah but I didn't know it WAS him." I pushed my wet hair back and thought for a moment. "You know, it's funny, the only thing he ever said was to not leave, to trust you...and Dean, and to swing, to swing hard and swing fast, and I did. I trusted you and I kept swinging and I never knew why until now. Cas brought me to you, he brought you to me and he did it to keep me safe. The only question I have is why am I that important to him, why me and not my kids, who are completely safe by the way."

"The thing about Cas is, you never know why he does things," Sam sighed and reached a hand out from me, one that I gladly accepted, and he pulled me in close. "Whatever his motives were, they don't really matter anymore, you're with us and we're not going to let you go."

"So what now?"

"Breakfast?" Sam smiled giving me a small shrug, and I smiled as I leaned down to kiss him.

"Yeah, food does sound kinda good right now."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I wasn't sure if it was me being totally paranoid or if it really happened, but I swear every set of eyes in IHop turned towards us as the four of us walked through the door. I'm pretty sure it was me being paranoid, but when you woke up to an angel staring at you and a Winchester confessing some pretty needy things, paranoid kind of came with the territory.

The only open spot in the place seemed to be at the counter and we sat down, Sam was to my right, Danni to my left and Dean took up the other side of her. The waitress, a pretty young blond… and totally Dean's type, went about unnoticed by the older Winchester, which really got me to smile as we were all served coffee and given a moment to look at the menu.

It was then that my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. Sam watched me with curiosity as I read what I could on the caller ID and glanced at Danni. There, on the screen was Carol's name, actually it was a picture of Castiel, but it was just how it went in our circle. Mine was Sam's picture on Danni's phone and her's was Dean on mine so it only made sense that Carol was our Cas.

I slid off the seat, raised a finger and pushed the accept button as I moved to a booth at the end and edged my way in towards the window..

"Carol, is everything alright?" I questioned, looking at the three concerned faces at the counter.

"Hey! Yeah, I just haven't heard from you yet." She announced as I held the phone to my ear and looked out the window.

"My phone's pretty busted up so I haven't texted, and no Twitter and all that." I answered and looked up as Danni swooped in, coffees in hand, and made herself comfortable as Sam and Dean closed the gap between them so they could talk. I looked questioningly at the woman in front of me and watched as Danni smiled and shrugged, handing me the mug. "Dan's been handling all the posts and stuff until I can get a new phone. You okay?"

"I wish I was there with you guys," she hummed and I shook my head, eyeing Danni who was pulling out the earbuds that she kept in her coat pocket. I plugged them in, gave her one and I took the other as we listened to Carol sigh.

"I put Dan on with me, we're sharing a headset," I smiled, trying to be upbeat. "But honestly, Cas, I don't think you want to be here right now, things aren't going the best of ways."

"Is everything okay?"

"Just a string of random dumb luck," I answered and looked up at the boys. I could hear her sigh over the phone.

"I thought I would get more opportunities to talk to you guys since you were together this week." I heard the smile in her voice as she became hopeful. "What time is it there anyway?"

"Nearly eight, I think." Danni answered, "so, that's what? about six where you are in BC?"

"Yeah, I thought I would check in."

"Thanks for doing that and I'm sorry we haven't talked more." I answered, my eyes drifting to the way Sam and Dean were sitting, heads together, with their backs to us, but I knew they were seeing everything. "Maybe tonight we'll have a little more time, right now we're sitting down to breakfast."

"Oh, okay, go on then and eat, can't be starving when you have so much stuff to do." Carol laughed. "What's on the agenda for today?"

"Driving," I spoke up and watched the confusion cross Danni's face. "Yeah, we're going to be headed to Lebanon I think, it's a three hour drive from here in Lawrence."

"Wow, cool, just remember the bunker is actually located up here in Vancouver." I wanted to correct her but I didn't, because what we knew right then was probably not going to go over well at all.

"We're just going to look through the town." Danni announced. "Waitress is coming, got to go."

"Love ya!" Carol chimed.

"Love ya," I answered and Danni mimic as we disconnected the call, looking up in time to see the actual waitress arrive.

"You really want to go to Lebanon?" She questioned after our order was taken and I shook my head as I sat back in the booth and put my phone away.

"What I'd like to do is hunt down the damn vampire that's gunning for my head and take his off." I sighed and found myself watching the boys.

"So, Sam said you mentioned something about the rings they used last night." I lifted my eyes and turn them towards her.

"Yeah, I, ah, I recognized the symbol." Oh who the hell was I kidding, I might not have wanted to own up to it with Sam but this was Danni we were talking about. "He pegged me for a witch."

"Are you?"

"My grandmother was, I mean I can sense some stuff, know enough, and yeah, I know all about Sam's magic warding spells and the hex bags but that doesn't make me a wizard, Harry!" I sat back and took a deep breath. "I just don't know what Dean would do if he found out. I mean, think about it, they have bullets that kill witches."

"Their hands are lethal weapons, and you're worried about bullets?" Danni smiled which made me think for a moment before I nodded. She had a point. I rolled my eyes and turned my eyes towards the window. "So, Dean came in to talk to you?"

"Yeah, about that, do you think you and Sam could not send him in while I'm naked?" I questioned and watched her smile, while I gave her a grin. "He was telling me how he needed me but wanted you, so I told him just to go with it." Danni smiled and turned in the seat to look at the two men, who were now debating something with each other, and whatever it was seemed pretty heated. "Do you think we should go over?"

"You're kidding, right?" She said in a smart ass tone, "they have witch killing bullets."

I shook my head and watched as the young blonde put their plates down in front of both Sam and Dean and offered to refill their coffee, which instantly stopped the debate as they dug in, and it wasn't long after that we got our own meals.

Dean turned in his seat, as I looked up from mine and he raised his cup of coffee and winked, but all I could do was roll my eyes and slouch down in the seat as if I had fainted. This little action only got me a frown as he shook his head, rolled his own eyes and went back to his breakfast, but Sam smiled, grinning like a fool in my direction.

"Have you heard from Wayne?" I questioned, as I cut into the scrambled eggs that graced the plate before me. Danni looked up, cleared her throat as she finished what was in her mouth and shook her head. I happened to glance up to see it and lowered my fork. "Not at all?"

"Not since he said he was leaving Sunday morning."

"Don't you think that's a little odd?" I whispered and watched as she shook her head, but shrugged at the same time. "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means I don't know if it _was_ odd, or if it _is_ odd, we've never had this kind of problem before. I mean he was fine one day and the next he was being a complete douche!" Danni said sternly as she leaned forward so that we could keep it between us. "How many times over the however many months that we've been talking has Wayne ever been a douche?"

"Um, none?" I shrugged and stuffed a forkful of the egg in my mouth, trying to just let her vent.

"My point exactly, so when he started acting like this, wanting to know everything right down to the most minor detail, it started to bother me and we started fighting." I picked up the mug, finished what was in my mouth and took a swallow of the coffee before I made eye contact with her.

"Total random question, but when did this start?" Danni took a moment and suddenly sat back, her fork clanking on the table.

"Thursday night, right before you called to tell me what time you were leaving Friday morning, but like I said, the real stuff didn't start happening until Friday morning."

"I know I asked about the whole "have you noticed" list but really, now we're going back to Thursday, anything odd that night?"

"Ah," she thought for a moment and shrugged yet again before picking up the fork and stabbing it into the slice of meat that sat on her plate. "There was this one few minute span of time that the clouds rolled in, but I thought it was just another storm. They come in and out so fast sometimes, but now that I think back, I'm pretty sure this wasn't natural."

"Why?"

She looked up at me, confusion and worry on her face. "It was only over the house, it came in from the southeast, the completely wrong direction, passed overhead and started breaking up just before it got to the barn."

"Describe it to me," Dean's voice interrupted as we both turned and looked at the man standing at the end of our table. Sam was right behind him and Danni and I found ourselves moving further into the booth as both men joined us. Dean put his arm up on the back of her seat as he turned his body in her direction. "Danni, be honest, tell me exactly what it looked like."

"It was late, _Dean_ ," she said sarcastically and I could see the frustration on the man's face but she did have a point, what exactly was she going to tell him? "It was dark, obviously, so the clouds were dark. I mean block out the moon and stars dark. A typical storm that popped up on a typical Thursday night in April… in Oklahoma!"

"Was there lightning?" Sam questioned, his tone just a little lower and definitely more serious than I had heard in a few days.

"Wait, what are you guys thinking?" I inquired, "we already went through all the demonic signs, and the "have you noticed anything" list, so what are you getting at?"

"The lightning," Sam asked again, "was there any?"

"Yeah, it was a storm," I could feel Danni's frustration and reached out a hand to her, with a sigh, she took it and I felt her fingers close around mind. She was shaking, literally shaking at remembering this storm. "Okay, yeah there was lightning and thunder and it was all really dramatic but nothing…"

That pause, that dramatic effect, yeah that right there was an "oh shit" moment. I sat back, watching as if I were outside myself, outside everything because in that moment, I watched her become terrified. I had been there, the moment the vampire first opened its mouth, the moment I stood and swung, I knew that feeling but to see it on her face, in her eyes, that shook me to the core.

"What?" Dean whispered, leaning in closer, his body touching as much of her arm as he could, as his hand came up and caressed her cheek. Danni was dumbstruck, unable to do anything but stare right at me before she took a breath and composed herself. "Danni, talk to me."

"The lightning was red," she whispered and her blue eyes connected with Dean's green ones. I watched her brow furrow and her lips grow tight as she shook her head. "It was red, Dean, red freaking lightning! What the hell does that mean?"

"It means we need to know more about what's been going on with your husband," Sam sighed and took my hand under the table, giving me a reassuring squeeze as Danni shook her head.

"Where? How? We gave up our hotel room already." Danni questioned. Logical question for an illogical time but hey, you never know how the mind is going to work until you come up against this kind of situation.

"The library," Sam suggested, and it was a good suggestion, I mean it didn't suck, but I didn't want to be stuck inside all day.

"No, I've got a better idea," I whispered and watched as the three of them looked at me with curiosity.

The Airport Motel, the same spot that we had filmed at the day before, stood abandoned and open. When I watched the minivan drive away, the owner of the building safely in the driver's seat, I turned and stepped towards the Escape and the three waiting passengers. Of course, by then they were all standing outside the silver SUV with crossed arms and looks of complete and utter "end of the world, apocalypse crap" expressions written on their faces, but I knew it was because of my secrecy.

"Here?" Dean questioned, stepping forward first as I watched the smile of "here we go" creep up on Sam's face. "Of all the places in Kansas, you pick here?"

"Well, I was going to pick a place like, I don't know, a completely warded, secretly located, stuffed to the ceiling, filled with useless information bunker, but you lied to me about it's where...abouts." I stated, rolling my eyes and Dean huffed. "IF it was in Lawrence, like you said, we could have gone there, but NO!"

"Okay!" He snapped but that was when I let the smile out, of course I knew he hadn't honestly expect me to believe the Men of Letters bunker was there and not in Lebanon, at least I don't think he did. "Okay, I get it, but, why here?"

"Easy enough," I winked and flipped the small set of keys around my finger. "The owner thinks we're on a book tour, like for research and I told her we'd like a few hours to take some inside shots of the place for reference, if she didn't mind."

"And she just handed you the keys? Just like that?" Again with the doubting Dean? Did this man just not see the way I worked or what?

"Actually, she said there's nothing of value in there anyway, so honestly giving me the keys and the fact that she has our plate number is pretty much a safe bet that we're not going to do anything stupid." I shrugged and watched Sam push away from the car, his hands in the pocket of his jeans. He went to step past me, to head towards the open door of the very first room, but he stopped and kissed me on the top of the head, lips full with a smile as I stood still looking up at Dean. "Now, are you gonna keep being a baby, or are you going to come in and play like a nice boy."

Dean shook his head, went to walk by, just like Sam did, but instead of kissing me, he leaned in low to my ear.

"Screw you, Porter!" He whispered, playfully, which only got a wider smile from me as Danni's lips turned up in a quiet one of her own.

"You first, Winchester!" I replied and turned my gaze up to him. Dean's green eyes locked onto mine, I watched his jaw clench and his lips draw tight before he "hmmphed" and moved on, letting me stand there waiting for Danni, who finally came to stand before me. "You ready for this?"

"I've never been less ready for anything my entire life," she growled and I could see the anxiety and anger rushing up to her eyes as they met mine. "Nothing good ever comes from this, we know it, we've seen it for thirteen years. It's always the same, always the sit down and explanation before BANG! We're on a monster hunt!"

"Hey, Dan, it doesn't have to mean that there's a monster involved." I whispered and touched her shoulder as she stared up at the doorway, the one occupied by a man she had just spent the night with and I could see the growing affection in her eyes. "Come on, this is Sam and Dean we're talking about, nothing's going to happen to you, me or Wayne."

"Don't say "I promise", because if you do, I swear…"

"Yeah, yeah, you'll strangle me in my sleep...got it, Sis." I smiled and slipped my hand around her arm as the two of us headed for the motel room.

The inside of the room was dark and musty smelling, renovations on the walls had begun, stopped and started several times from the look of the wood that was exposed. The wallpaper itself seemed to be some God-awful burnt sienna color, or had been at one point but you could almost catch the old scent of cigarettes in the very fibers of the fiberglass insulation. There was a small table, one that Sam had cleared off of the debris from the workers, and three chairs, all different designs, were placed around it, which meant one of us (probably Dean because the man hadn't stopped moving) was going to have to stand.

Danni got comfortable in the seat closest to the wall, a safety zone kind of maneuver, nothing could get to her back and nothing could get around her line of vision without her being able to react. Sam guarded the door, his back to the wall, but with his right side situated in such a way that should it open unannounced, his gun and his blade were in reach and the one entering wouldn't stand a chance. I moved my chair, put my back to the small half-wall where the crazy 1950 divider with the weird looking starbursts sat, and looked at the three other people in the room.

"Okay, so here we are. It's private, protected and I'm not entirely sure this is the greatest location, but it was the best idea I could come up with," I gave each one of them a glance before I landed squarely on Dean, the one who didn't care for my suggestion, but all he did was glare back at me. "So, what were we talking about?" No one replied and I couldn't help but pull my knife from where it hung on the inside of my boot. "All right, I'll recap. Thursday, storm, southeast, red lightning, creepy change in hubby, who...despite all evidence to the contrary, is not a douche, and hasn't been heard from since breakfast two days ago?"

"I didn't say he was a douche, I said he was being one!" Danni snapped and this made me smile, because at least it meant I was getting a reaction. "But yeah, recap covered!"

"Red lightning?" Sam whispered, well more asked himself than anyone else in the room, and this had me turning my attention to him. "There's no demonic signs that even point to red lightning."

"So, what are you looking for, creepy omens like change in weather patterns, cattle mutilations, possibly the appearance of animals that should or shouldn't be in Oklahoma, or wait, the absence of said animals because of possible electrical storms which falls under creepy omens like change in weather patterns?" I asked sarcastically, and it wasn't that I was trying to be an ass, but everything that I noticed just seemed to flow from my mouth.

Sam looked at me with worry, and I realized the way I had just answered his question. So the whole thing unnerved me, not a big deal, at least I didn't think, and watched as Sam let out a breath, not sure of what to do with me either.

"Ali," Danni whispered and I shut my mouth, locked my lips down and leaned back against the wall. "Chill out."

"Yeah, okay." I whispered and started to look around the room. I could hear Sam's voice, but I tried not to concentrate on anything as I let my memories take me back to Thursday night.

 _"Okay," I said as I moved about the bedroom, making sure that everything was packed and that everything that wasn't was somewhere close so I could grab it. My laptop was in my bag, my tablet where I could reach it and I picked up the cell phone as I headed into my eldest son's bedroom to grab the spectrum that he kept locked up in the closet. I raised the phone to my mouth and sighed. "Looks like I have everything. What about you? You ready for me?"_

 _"Ready?" Danni's voice sang over the speaker, "right like the world is ever going to be ready Ali Porter on the road in a car for 22 hours. I'm pretty sure that they already put up the "stay off the highway" signs along I-70."_

 _"Imagine that," I laughed, "I'm pretty sure that you're a JERK!"_

 _"Bitch!" Danni replied with laughter in her voice. "So, talking rules and regulations."_

 _"And we're suddenly at a con?" I questioned, grabbing the black bag as I headed out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen where the rest of the stuff sat waiting to go out to the car. "Rules, call every hour if not sooner. Call at every rest stop, if not already on the phone and no Periscoping or Facebook Live unless the car is at a complete stop. Yeah, MOM, I got the rules."_

 _"Okay, the other rules." Danni whispered as I sat down at the kitchen table, one that was void of my usual laptop._

 _"Travel route has already been emailed to you and I gave you the address of the place I'm staying Friday night, Dan, not many other rules except to make sure that I eat." I glanced around the room one more time and smiled. The kids had their bags already packed and waiting. "I'm grabbing the rental by nine, headed towards Kathy's and back on the road by ten-thirty at the latest. I'll shoot you a text before I leave the gas station in Westfield."_

 _I heard it then, a strange sort of static on the line, one that I had heard before but thought was my connection, however, this time it was just a bit different. This time, it was like a growl, a low vibrating growl that seemed to grow in strength._

 _"You'll never guess what's going on," Danni whispered._

 _"Electrical storm?"_

 _"Yeah, how did you know?"_

 _"Phone sucks, remember?" I smiled and heard the "growl" die down before I sighed. "Okay, I'm off to bed, gotta get this stuff pack in the car pretty early and make sure I have everything set and ready to go."_

 _"Sounds like a plan," Danni sighed. "Talk to you later."_

 _"Yeah, see you soon, Dean."_

 _"See ya soon, Sammy." I smiled at the nickname as the line went dead, took a deep breath and headed back to the bedroom, turning off the kitchen light as I left the room._

It was later that night, after being asleep for a few hours, that I woke up with a start, sitting right up in bed. It wasn't that there were any odd noises, or that there was some kind of disturbance in the house, but right there, on the edge of sleep, was the feeling that I was being watched.

I glanced around the room, nothing seemed out of place. All three of my cats were sleeping, lounging about the bed undisturbed by my sudden movement, which was a good sign and I picked up the cell phone from the side of the bed. 3:42, less than two hours before the alarm went off, which was the same time every morning, but this morning, the world outside was just a bit darker, just a bit more on the scarier side, especially as I looked up, while I lay back on the bed, toward the top of the window, covered only by a bottom half-panel curtain.

Something out there wasn't right, something just this side of supernatural. It had been a feeling I had been getting for days, but right then, it was the strongest. Taking a deep breath, trying to ignore the ever-growing pit in my stomach, I closed my eyes and relaxed, but my body stayed aware, vibrating on the edge of ready to fight and the deep sleep it really wanted.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"Ali?" Dean's deep tone close to my face more towards my ear, the warmth of his breath on my skin made my eyes snap in his direction and I watched as he glanced at Sam with worry.

"What?" I mumbled, maybe snapped, but definitely mumbled.

"You okay?" Those brows of his creased with worry and I nodded.

"Yeah," I rubbed my eyes, feeling the itch of sleep in them and blinked it away. "Wait, was I sleeping?"

"A little," he whispered, the back of his fingers caressing the skin on my cheek and I licked my lips, something that immediately captured his eyes attention, but for only a second before his green ones were staring me down again. "Wanna catch some zz's in the Escape?"

"You coming with?" I joked and saw the smile curl on his lips.

"Wouldn't you rather Sammy?"

"Two strong arms and warm body," I replied and pushed myself up in the seat, but I winked at Sam, who was sitting with his legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles and his fingers folded together behind his head, looking as comfortable as ever. "I don't know Dean, I thought you guys were trying to get to the bottom of Wayne."

"Well, Danni's out on the phone right now, and you...you're making me worry." His deep voice was calm and soothing, something that helped my heart start to slow from it's racing pace. "I'm sure she won't mind if we churl up for a bit." His fingers traced along my forehead and it took all I had not to close my eyes and fall into it. "What do you say?"

"Ali," Sam whispered, my eyes darting in his direction, "go with Dean. Danni and I will grab the laptops and check out things from Thursday."

"You brought…" oh, wait, it was Sam, he never left home without that laptop, "okay," I sighed and felt Dean's hand wrap gently around mine.

As he pulled me to my feet, I felt the world begin to spin. Yeah, too little sleep in the last few days was definitely not going to be good. I stopped by Sam, who stood and smiled down at me before Dean and I stepped out the door, ran my fingers down his chest and stopped at his hip, where I stretched upwards to snag one small kiss from the man who towered over me.

Sam sighed against my lips, the pads of his fingers dancing over my neck as his mouth captured mine. It was soft and inviting, all the things you would think it would be to remind me that he was waiting, no matter how much he had just agreed to let Dean take me to the car. I smiled as those long, thick fingers tangled in my hair deepening the connection and Dean released my hand.

"I'll be outside when you're done sucking face," he growled but there was a hint of laughter in his voice.

Sam let his other arm circle my waist as I leaned into him, feeling protected, safe in his arms. "Are you sure you're okay with Dean being with me?"

"I trust my brother more than anyone in this world, Ali, especially when it comes to keeping you safe," Sam whispered, his lips still a breath from mine and I looked into his blue-green eyes. "The man's a genius but he hates research, and I really need Danni here to help me pick out signs."

"Do me a favor," I placed my hand on the back of his, the one that gently stroked my neck, "check out Palmer, Massachusetts for early Friday morning too, there was just something about that morning that doesn't sit right, and I don't have any tangible signs to go on."

"I will, but we already know the vampires were following you."

"I know," I sighed and kissed him softly once more before he flattened his hand against my back and we moved to where Dean was waiting, watching Danni pace the dirt parking lot. Dean looked down, took my hand and his eyes were right back on her, but when Sam kissed my head and walked in Danni's direction, Dean pulled me towards the car.

It was an odd position to be in, tucked up against the backseat of the Escape on my side, curled up in the crook of Dean's arm while his ankles rested up on the open windowsill, boots hanging out. He had grabbed anything soft he could from the back of the car, which as luck would have it was a fleece blanket that Danni kept in case of breakdown emergencies, and rolled it up so he was using it as a pillow.

I rested my head in that very comfortable spot, and placed a hand on his sternum, feeling the rise and fall of his chest as his heart thumped under my hand. It amazed me how controlled he was, the steady beat beneath my fingers could be used to write a song, even his breathing was musical. His fingers gently rubbed the back of my neck, the majority of his fingers pressed against it as his thumb ran along my jaw. He was trying to caress me to sleep, and damn if it wasn't working.

"Dean," I whispered, feeling his thumb brush my lips as he turned his head, pressing his mouth against my head.

"Hmm?" He asked softly.

"Why are you in here with me?"

"I'm exhausted, I hate standing around while Sam does research," he said defensively but I felt his lips turn up into a smile, "and you really need to sleep, so shut it and close your eyes."

"You can be pretty pushy, you know that right?" I grumbled and let my eyes close as he tugged me closer and I was able to bend my knees up under his legs, almost folding around him.

"Yeah, I'm a pain in the ass, now go to sleep."

With a sigh, I gave in and let the warmth of Dean Winchester surround me. Sleeping next to Sam was amazing, and safe, and could be downright dangerous given the mood, but Dean and his need to touch, to feel connected, made it seem like the rest of the world didn't exist.

I took him all in, the smell of his cologne, the scent of it mixing with the bodywash that he had used, something masculine and not too strong, even the detergent he used on the soft flannel shirt I was pressed against was undeniably Dean, but that was when I noticed the little difference from when we had met until that very moment.

The hint of his American Spirits was gone.

It took me a moment, and some pretty deep dazed thinking to remember that he hadn't had one that I knew of since we had returned from the bar. Wait, Dean..stressed out, overprotective, high on "what can I kill next" hadn't had a cigarette in more than eighteen hours? I smiled, or at least, I dreamed that I smiled at the thought of him being preoccupied with two of us now and not having the time, but the smile was lost as I faded into the darkness. Sleep, finally!

The muffled sound of Sam's voice gave me a shiver, drawing me out of the sound sleep that I had been in. Dean still hadn't moved, in fact the hand that was on my neck as still there, a little heavier as he lay completely relaxed, but it was Danni's annoyance that had me concentrating on the conversation going on between them.

They couldn't have been too far from the car, because the words suddenly were clear as day and I could tell something was frustrating them both. I heard Sam's boots stop, his pacing told me that he was definitely on edge.

"You can't keep this from her, Sam," Danni whispered, though the sound traveled without issue in the wide open space of the parking lot, "this information, she needs to know it."

"I don't need to tell her this, Danni, she doesn't need to know," he sighed, but didn't he know that he was telling me everything now? Didn't he realize that I might be awake in here? "Look, I've seen a lot of bad, Dan, I've done a lot of bad and that changes a person. She needs to be protected from that. Why the hell do you think I have her in there with my brother right now? Do you, for an instant, think that I don't want her by my side, especially in light of this? Of course I do, but I know that no matter what happens, she safer with Dean than anyone else on this planet."

Okay, so what the hell was I not supposed to find out now? The thing I hated most in the world was secrets, though I had kept a few myself.

"In light of this?" Danni scoffed. "Do you even get that she's been dealing with this her whole life? Did you not hear that vampire story? I'm pretty positive she told you about her Grandmother, and back at that bar? All manner of supernatural creatures and she hasn't even blinked." I heard her boots move lightly in the gravel. "You're not protecting an innocent person, Sam, she's a hunter in her own right, just like you and me, a bit on the amateur side, but come on, so am I. You have to tell her!"

"What am I supposed to say, oh by the way, beside some wacked-off vamp, we're pretty sure Crowley is after you too?" This made me open my eyes wide, and I shifted unintentionally against Dean, which seemed to trigger his body. I heard him breath deeply, turn his head in my direction and press his lips against my head again. The same position he had fallen asleep in, he was now waking up too. "Danni, she has enough on her plate with the monster that's hunting her now, what is she going to do with the King of Hell on her ass?"

"You shouldn't eavesdrop," Dean mumbled, his voice deep with sleep, and those fingers moved from my neck down to my waist as he turned his body just a bit, trying not to let them in on the fact that either of us were awake.

"Demons, Dean, and not only a demon but THE demon… Crowley, really, what the hell did I do?"

"You obviously pissed in someone's cheerios."

He was right, I pissed someone off, royally, I just wish I knew when, and maybe a how...possibly a why because I was so confused at that moment, I couldn't think straight. I moved my hand from his chest, wanting nothing more than to get out of his hold but his arm tightened around me.

"I told you I was a monster," I whispered, still pushing against him. "I told you I had done some evil things in my past, and now they're coming back to find me." I looked up at him, angry and pleading. "Dean, let me go."

He flipped me then, moving me faster than I could blink so that my back was flat to the seat and he towered over me, up on his elbows as his knees straddled my lap. It took me a moment to catch my breath as I stared up into those hardening eyes as his hand stroked the hair back from my fact.

"No matter what you think you did in the past, Ali, no matter what kind of monster you thought you were," he growled, but it wasn't out of anger, but protection and promise, "I'm never going to let you go. Ever."

"Hey," Sam's voice interrupted and I watched as Dean picked his head up, turning just a bit to look at the man who stood by the window at the end of my feet. Dean pushed up, not bearing any weight down on me as he tried to sit up in the car, but found himself hunched at the shoulders. "You two okay?"

"Peachy," Dean answered, and shuffled back as Sam opened the car door. When Dean finally stood face to face with his brother, when I was able to make out the emotions in each of their eyes as they stared, I realized that Dean was pissed and Sam, well, he seemed to know exactly why. "You wanna keep a secret from someone, keep your damn voice down."

Sam watched Dean move around him, before his turned back to me and I stretched my legs out on the seat. With a sigh, my eyes went from the blue-green ones looking at me apologetically to the ceiling. I felt his hands on my ankles which made me sit up quickly and stare for just a moment before I scooted down to the end of the seat, letting my legs dangle out the open door.

"Crowley?" I whispered, but made sure I kept that disbelieving undertone there. "Really?"

"Ali," Sam sighed as I pushed past him, but his fingers wrapped gently around my arm. I stopped, looked at the sun that sat high in the sky and figured that Dean and I had been passed out for about three hours.

"Jesus, Sam, how many more hellspawns are going to be gunning for me?" I took a deep breath and looked at Danni, who was leaning against the doorway to the room they had been researching in. "What did you find?"

"All of the signs around Palmer point to demonic activity," Sam started reluctantly, and I watched as he licked his lips, the line of his mouth growing tight as his jaw clenched. "The morning you were talking about, that Thursday, when you were on the phone with Danni, there was a strange outcrop of storms in your area."

"Strange how?" I leaned back against the car and crossed my arms.

"Black clouds, red lightning… sound familiar?"

"There was nothing, not anywhere around me," I sighed and turned my gaze back at Danni, who was now staring us down. "I never heard a storm, never saw anything out of the ordinary."

"Nothing?" Sam questioned, which made me pause and look up at him with a "duh" look on my face. "Ali, just think back, there had to be some reason you asked me to look it up, storms don't just pop up in two different places at the same time without reason, at least not demonic storms."

I turned my eyes back to Danni, locking our blue on blue ones together and I thought back to the conversation. _Rules and regulations, cons, text message from Westfield before getting on the highway._ I listened to the voices pitch back and forth for a moment as our eyes stayed focused on each other and I felt my body shift nervously as the sound of a faint growl filled my ears.

I swallowed hard, my lips parted as I continued to hear it grow in strength and I worried on my bottom lip as Danni stepped off the porch moving towards us. _You'll never guess what's going on. Electrical storm. Yeah, how did you know? Phone sucks, remember?_ I suddenly couldn't breathe as everything hit me at once and I felt hands against my face, not the large, solid ones that belonged to Sam, but smaller, gentler ones that cupped my cheeks as shades of blue invaded my visions.

"Holy shit!" I snapped as I struggled to catch what air I could in my lungs and my hands slapped down on Danni's as she stood looking into my eyes. "There was a growl on the line!"

"What?" Sam questioned, moving up to brace my back with his hand. Danni wouldn't let go, I wouldn't allow it and suddenly I could feel Dean just as close as his brother, a hand going to the back of my neck as Danni seemed to hold on for dear life. "A growl, are you sure?"

"My phone, my stupid sucky phone!" I whispered and suddenly needed to NOT be touched.

I shook out of Danni's grasp, pushing her fingers away from my face and slipped past her, away from the protective stances of both brothers. I put my hand on the hood of the car and leaned over just a little, resting my head against the sun-heated metal as I closed my eyes, allowing the nauseous feeling to subside. I felt fingers along my spine and suddenly I was standing up straight and I turned to look at Dean, my hands up as if to create a barrier and I shook my head.

"Don't, please don't," I begged and stepped back. I know my lips moved after that, trying to form some sort of words as Sam and Danni stepped closer. I kept the wide open field behind me and the motel to my front as Dean stood to my side, and the other two seemed to crowd the driver's side of the Escape. "During it...during the call...Danni said a storm popped up but she didn't really need to tell me, I already knew, I could hear it on my phone. I thought it was static, something that just seemed to happen, but it's been going on for a long time, _every time_! We Skype and it's there, we talk on the phone and it's there."

"What is?" Sam whispered, "Ali, you got to talk to me so we can figure this out."

"It's like someone stuck a dog on the phone line." I answered, though I'm pretty sure that didn't make any sense at all. "We thought it was the service, just the crappy way the towers were set up but there has always been something under the static, something like a voice, or a noise…"

"Or a growl," Danni added and licked her lips. "Listen, that night, it wasn't just the storm I saw, there was something in the trees. What the hell is four-feet tall, invisible and growls?"

"Hellhounds," Dean sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose before looking at Sam. "What did you find? Tell me you got something other than demonic omens that makes you think Crowley the Assclown is involved in all of this."

"The red lightning was the clue." Sam spoke up but Dean just crossed his arms, looked at his brother confused and shrugged.

"Okay?"

Sam sighed, his bitchface becoming completely apparent and he shook his head. "We know demons rank differently, at least you and I do," he glanced away from his brother to both Danni and I to make sure we understood. "Lower levels seem to smoke out black, Knights and Princes have their own little color code, blue for Knights, gold for princes, red for…"

"Crowley," I added in a whisper, and brought my eyes up to look at him. "So, wonderful, Juliette is wandering around Vinita and I have what? A Hellstorm of Crowley crop dusting my home town?"

"The hound would explain the animals the other night," Danni shrugged. "The fact that they had all gone into hiding, that there wasn't anything to be heard."

"See!" I snapped and watched Dean look at me as I pointed at him. "I told you something was up, and you both, what, chalked it up to freaking tornados!"

"Ali," Danni whispered, but couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips, but then it slowly faded. "Wait, what if that thing followed us."

"What do you mean?" Sam questioned, curiously.

"The road," she continued, "the other night we were sent off the road because a _wolf_ jumped in front of Baby."

"What if it wasn't a wolf?" Dean questioned, "I mean, Ali's the one who saw it." It wasn't that he was wrong, but I looked at him with a sneer just out of principle alone. "I'm not…" he sighed, "I'm not saying what you saw wasn't real, but come on, a wolf, pretty random animal to be out there."

"What if it didn't mean to be?" Sam spoke up and all eyes turned to him. "What if it was chased out of the woods. You said there was a body," he looked straight at me.

"Yeah but apparently it wasn't an "our kind of case" body." I rolled my eyes and looked at Dean who just looked away shaking his head. "It was half eaten, pretty freaking mangled."

"So what if the wolf was eating it, you know scavenging and the hound was what really shredded the poor bastard?" Sam added.

"You wouldn't be able to make out the cause of death if two different animals had taken him down." Danni shrugged. "It would be pretty impossible to find prints after the rain we had that night too, I mean the river swelled, that body could have come from anywhere."

I took a deep breath, running my hands up the side of my head trying to stop the headache that was creeping up on me. "Okay, let's say the hellhound rushed the wolf on purpose, scared it out to the road, left it to jump in front of the Impala. Why the hell wouldn't it come after us while we were all unconscious, or better yet, while one or more of us were wandering the street alone in the middle of the night?"

"Because we weren't its target," Dean whispered, and I looked over at him. He stood with his feet apart, head down as he stared at the ground deep in thought and I could see the concentration on his face. "The hound was sent to do something, distract us, make us weaker, but not to kill us. There isn't a deal out on any of us, the contract isn't up. This puppy was just playing."

"Oh wonderful," I groaned and turned to lean against the grill of the car.

It was then that the owner pulled up in the mini-van and the four of us went our separate ways. Danni and Dean went to the room to collect the laptops while I spoke to the woman who had so graciously let us use her property before I watched the other three load up into the car.

Once everything was in order, and we were all strapped in, Danni put the car in drive and pulled out onto the road, heading south back to the house, back towards the mystery of the hellhound and Crowley, one more monster to add to the ever-growing pile.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

The ride back to Vinita as quiet. Three hours of hushed whispers from the back as the brothers quietly argued over the facts that were found. Three hours of Danni tapping the steering wheel to a beat in her own head over the quiet music that played on the radio. Three hours of being stuck in my own head at the seemingly random events that had let up to one very solid piece of evidence, that nothing about this trip had been random AT ALL!

By the end of the third hour, I had had it! I looked at Danni, watched the rest stop crest over the road a quarter of a mile ahead, and I glanced over at her.

"Pull in here," I begged and her eyes flickered in my direction, "please, Danni, just do it."

I watched as she checked in the rearview and then threw on her blinker as she pulled into the small parking lot that accompanied the building that housed two bathrooms, probably a couple vending machines and a whole lot of literature on where to visit while in Kansas, but that wasn't my reason for stopping.

Danni pulled into the parking spot, but hadn't even turned off the car when I had the door open and was out on my feet before she could blink. I heard the three doors open as I stepped onto the grass not five feet in front of the car and paced with my hands on my hips.

Locked in my head wasn't doing me any good, and it certainly wasn't helping with the crazy ass thoughts that just seemed to flow. I was bringing up memories, digging up the past, trying to figure out the connection between the vampire and Crowley, the boys and Cas, and the fact that the timeline was completely messed up.

 _What are you doing, Ali?_ Cas' voice spoke through me and I visibly shivered as I realized just how close to this he was. He hadn't talked to me since appearing in the bedroom but he was still so familiar since all I could feel is a light touch, like his wings were a shield, keeping out the darkness.

 _Cas, what the hell man? Crowley? Did you know about Crowley? Is that why you're protecting me?_ I didn't want to talk to him in my head, I wanted him to be in front of me, and suddenly, he was.

He stood there, black disheveled hair, cerulean blue eyes that sparkled like the sun on the waves, but still no trenchcoat. I could almost see the faint outline of the wings, the tattered, beautiful wings that stretched out towards me but that was when I noticed everything else.

"Where are we?" I whispered, and listened to the absence of noise around me.

"Safe," he answered, his voice deep, stoic and a little annoyed.

"Danni? The boys?" I looked around at the empty park we stood in the middle of, empty of cars, people, and the small building, empty of everything except one small park bench.

"Also safe," which seemed to be the extent of his narration at the moment. He took a step closer, those wings folded in around me and I could feel the warmth of him, but were angels really warm, or was it just the way that Castiel felt.

"Crowley, Cas? Seriously?"

His lips drew tight and he sighed, "Crowley was… an unforeseen difficulty."

"What does that even mean?"

"I was sent to protect you from the vampires, the fact that Crowley even attempted contact with both you and Danni was something that we weren't prepared for, and for that, I'm sorry."

"Why would you be sorry?"

"Ali," his hand reached out and touched my shoulder, just a gently touch but there nonetheless. "You need to prepare yourself for what's about to happen. It's not going to be easy on you, or Danni, but you have to promise me one very important thing." Why did this guy always talk in riddles? I sighed and waited for him to continue. "Don't go anywhere without Sam or Dean, don't leave their side. It's imperative that you survive what's coming next. Promise me, Ali, that you'll do what I ask."

"Cas," I drew in a deep breath and watched as his brows creased in confusion, "where's John Winchester?"

"I have to go," he stated rather quickly and raised that one brow at me, "stay with Sam and Dean, keep them close, don't go into this without them."

"Cas?" I heard my voice softly, but then the influx of bird's chirping filled my senses and I looked around quickly, taking in the fact that Sam was holding my arms, concern written across his face, but anger reached his bright eyes. Dean stood beside him, not close enough for me, and I glanced down at his hands, wanting the familiarity of his touch as well. Danni stood beside the older Winchester, her eyes darting around as if she might be looking for someone.

"Ali," Sam's tone brought my eyes straight back to his and his hand rested against my neck, his index finger on my cheek as his thumb traced over every other inch he could reach, "where did you go?"

"Cas, he... ah…" it took me a moment to find my words as my fingers folded around his wrist and I used my right hand to run it down my face, trying to get rid of the foggy feeling.

"What did he say?" Dean questioned, somewhere between concern and irritation aimed directly at the angel.

"He didn't know Crowley was coming, none of them did, they were too focused on the vampires." I finally was able to spit out, as I sighed and leaned into Sam's hand. "He said to stay close to you, both of you, and that it was imperative that Danni and I survive this. What the hell did he get us into?"

"I don't think he got you into anything?" Sam spoke up, "I really think he's trying to protect you _from_ something and not just the vampire, something bigger."

"So what? Angel radio has no clue either? I mean, come on, a whole Heaven's worth of angels and not a single clue as to why Danni is now a target for the King of Hell himself?"

"Hey," Dean reached out, making that contact that I longed for as he stepped closer, "you're a target too remember."

"I was a target long before Danni and I became family." I stepped back suddenly, fear settling into my heart as I looked at my friend, at my sister, the woman who had become one of the things I needed the most, my family, and I shook my head. "I didn't mean to bring this down on you, Danni, I never meant for you to be caught in the crossfire."

"There isn't another place I would rather be," she answered, a sly smile gracing her lips as she stepped towards me and suddenly wrapped her arms around me as she hugged me closer. "It's my job to protect my little sister, and come hell or high water, I'm not going to stop doing that until every threat is gone."

"I never meant to hurt you," I whispered, letting my arms come up around her as I closed my eye and let her hold me. "I never meant for any of this."

The quiet wore on for the last hour or so that we were in the car, the only noise came from the music on the radio, and I'm not even sure what that was, I wasn't really pay attention.

I was staring out the window, lost in the flow of memories that I wasn't supposed to be delving into, something I'm sure Cas was trying to warn me about but once I had opened the floodgates they came right to the surface, like a body that had been buried and gone resurfacing.

It was then that everything seemed to come into light, a chronological order of events that took me back as far as I could remember and then tossed me in a fast forward motion. The first ones were simple, childhood memories that should have made me happy, until the nightmares began. Horrible, bloody, terrifying nightmares, ones that caused sleepwalking, night terrors and all manner of waking dreams.

The ghosts came next, though I was sure that they had something to do with the lack of sleep from the nightmares, but I saw them everywhere, standing by the edges of streets, rivers, train tracks, outside houses, in the upper floor windows of ones that I knew were occupied by other people. This was my life, seeing creatures that haunted my every step.

It wasn't long after the appearances of the ghosts that we went to visit my grandmother. I say that as if we never saw her enough but this was the time that other things began to happen. She would show me little books to read while I was there, anything to keep occupied but the strange symbols, the difficult languages and the crafty little way she stored her herbs and candles made me oh so curious.

I remembered one night, while we were spending the weekend, that my siblings and I were sent to bed early. Grandma had friends over, three other woman, one her age, two slightly older, of course I was young, nine at the time I believe, so what did I know about age. I remember this particular night because it was right around the middle of June, close to my birthday and it was warm outside. So warm in fact that Gram and her friends wore nothing but robes in the back yard.

I snuck down to watch, as they lit the candles, the scent of the herbs in the air, and they began to chant. I hid behind a large flower pot, so engrossed by the way they moved, the way their voices sung together and louder with each passing moment until the fire between them blazed high and hot. And RED.

When it died down, I remember seeing another person standing in their midst, a woman, taller than them, but there just the same, and the words that they spoke were quiet, so I could never make out what they said, but in an instant, as if I had breathed just one breath too loud, all five were looking at me.

The new woman, someone who made me shiver at the way the glow of the fire made her eyes seemed to shine with the red flame, stepped forward and tilted her head just a bit, just enough to make me intrigued and unafraid.

I remember crawling out from behind the pot, standing straight and looking at her. She seemed… different, powerful, and when she spoke, it nearly took my breath away.

"You're a brave young thing," she said softly, bending over, hands on her knees to get eye level with me. Her accent was hard to miss, but almost equally hard to place and I realized the red in her eyes hadn't gone away. "Tell me, child, what's your name?"

"Alison," I whispered, but with strength behind it. I was only soft enough to keep the conversation between us.

She looked over my face one more time and reached out. Her fingers brushed against my cheek, the tips of them ice cold despite the fact that she had been so close to the fire and I felt my breath catch in my throat. The corner of her lips turned up in a slight smile and she leaned in a little closer.

"Go back to bed, Alison, nothing here will harm you, nothing bad will come of this night, or any night from here forward." Her words seemed to make me feel...safe...and I gave her a little smile. "I'll see to that, but you...you run along now."

I looked past her at the terrified face of my grandmother and her friends, and it occurred to me that maybe this safe feeling was _wrong_ , but I nodded, turned and made my way quietly up the stairs to the back porch. I gave her one last look, this woman with the red eyes, and suddenly I was locked there. Locked in a stare that instantly felt evil and my body froze.

I felt my eyes roll back in my head as words filled my ear, words that didn't come from the outside but from inside my own mind. Images flashed through me, books filled with spells, symbols and the words weren't in English but I could read them as if I understood everything they said.

When it was over, when the onslaught of strange memories started to fade, I found that it was morning, and I was in my bed. The sun was up, not a cloud in the sky and I was alone.

That wasn't the end of the visions, no, they went on for years, but in between the start and stops, the vampire came...and went, the bite mark disappeared and though I wasn't really sure how at that point, now I knew, now I knew everything.

When I looked up, when my eyes finally focused, Sam was standing beside me, the door to the passenger's side was wide open and he was leaning against the door with one arm, using the roof to support the rest of his weight but he didn't move closer, he just watched me.

"What did you see?" His voice was a quiet sound, one that flowed over me with such ease that my racing heart slowed, and my breath seemed to even out. I sighed and shook my head.

"You have demon trap bullets, right?" I questioned as worry set in and the arm that leaned against the door came down and he rubbed the scruff on his face before he shook his head, turned and walked away. I didn't have to say it, I knew that he got the gist of what I meant. What I remembered was a demon, what I knew was that somewhere along the line, I had become totally screwed.

I jumped out of the car, noticed we were parked by the entrance of the garage, and watched as Sam stepped up to his brother, who was looking under the hood at Baby's engine. Dean stood straight as Sam whispered something to him and I watched his green eyes quickly move to me. I didn't want to be stared at, or sized up, which was what Dean was doing, so I gave a small shake of my head and turned.

Outside, just along the gravel line, maybe twenty feet from the side of the attached carport was a picnic table, and there, watching her house across the field, was Danni. I took a deep breath and made my way over, quietly taking a seat beside her. She glanced over at me, as I gave her a quick look and a smile as I leaned forward and put my hands on my knees.

"Any word?" I watched as she just shook her head, but I couldn't tell if she were worried or relieved.

"Kind of a good thing, don't you think?" She held a small stick in her hand, one that she had made into a stake with the pocket knife that sat open on the table between us.

"Yeah, the more people that stay away, the safer I guess."

"You know, while we were driving, I had a chance to think," she started and turned more towards me, her eyes still on that small piece of wood. "I was thinking about how connected you and I are."

"You mean the strange, little, real-life coincidences that seem to tie us to the same area about the same time?" I smiled but watched her nod. "Yeah I was thinking about that too."

"So I have a theory." This caught caught my attention and I shot a quick glance at the garage.

Dean stood in the doorway, a lit cigarette in his hand, but he never brought it to his mouth, just let it smoke, flicking the cherry off every now and again. Sam was standing just a little further out, his hands in his pockets as he watched the horses roam the field.

"Yeah, theories right now, probably not our best friends." I answered as I turned to face her but the frown that graced her lips made me pause. "So, let's hear it."

"Our fathers, at one point, lived in the same town in the same state, how weird of a coincidence is that?"

"We established how strange this really was way back when, Dan, this isn't necessarily new news."

"Okay, so my theory...if our fathers knew each other, what's to say that our grandmothers didn't run in the same circle, so to speak?" I sat back and looked at her, had she been reading my mind as I sat there and did she know that part of my memories? I licked my lips, every nerve in my body became hyper aware of where everything and everybody was at that very moment. "Ali, I think my grandmother was a witch."

I jumped down from the table, a sudden move that had Sam straighten to attention, and I caught Dean's hand reach for the 1911 behind his back, but I paced in a circle a few times and came to rest facing Danni, blocking her from seeing the house.

"And you think they summoned a demon?" I whispered, the shock of me _adding_ to her theory was written plainly across her face. "Well, I know mine did."

Danni pulled a picture from her pocket and handed it to me. Curiosity got the best of me as I took the old photo, gave her one last confused glance and looked down at the four women who stood in a group, wine glasses filled with a dark liquid in hand, smiling as if they were having the time of their lives. I scanned each face and was immediately brought back to the fire, to the woman and the words she had spoke.

My vision blurred as I felt my body sway, and I reached out blindly for the table. Danni's hand guiding me until I was leaning against the solid structure. One more odd connection, besides our fathers, and the fact that even after that we, as children, had been in the same city, at the same time, we've travelled the same parts of the US, and now, our grandmothers in the same picture.

"Ali," she whispered softly.

"They didn't just summon any hell bitch, they summoned Crowley, a crossroads demon." I mumbled and closed my eyes tightly. "He...she told me that nothing would harm me, from that night forward." I turned and looked at her. "I think our grandmothers made a pact with the devil himself."

"So basically?"

"Yeah, we're screwed." I sighed and watched her put her hands against her face, as I turned and looked at the two men that stood by the building, both looking on with concern in their eyes. "I don't get it, why us?"

"Like I said before, why not?" Danni snickered and I gave her a little laugh, not a real one but I took a breath and looked at her. "Except that time, I meant why not 'get a Winchester', not 'why not be a little witch brat with a demon on your ass'."

"And a vampire."

Danni leaned her head back and looked up at the sky, giving a little shake as she closed her eyes and soaked in the last of the sun's rays. I clenched my jaw so hard it hurt, but my eyes went back to the Winchesters as I continued to lean on the table, the picture in front of me.

What the hell were we going to do now?


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Tonight's plan was a bonfire, which had been our plan all along. Monday for Lawrence and a night out, Tuesday for a bonfire and Wednesday to recuperate before headed back, not a drive I was looking forward to since I wasn't sure what Dean had done with my car. We had decided to do the bonfire on the same property as the garage, just in case we needed to run for protected cover, and even through the mutilated animal had been removed, we steered away from that area as well.

I watched the way Sam eyed me over as I stacked the wood in the pit. It was warm enough even in the fading light that both men had removed their shirts, and sweat glistened off Sam's sun-kissed skin, but it brought attention to the fact that he was wearing a not so white bandage across his side. He shouldn't have been lifting the cord wood at all, but try keeping a Winchester down, especially that one.

I finally stood, having been down under the tower stuffing starter kindling and paper into the hollow of the pyre, and dusted my hands off on my jeans. Sam placed the last of the wood he had brought over onto the stack and looked down at me.

"I think I need to check you," I whispered as I brought my hand up and ghosted it along the bottom of the tape, right along the hem of his low-rise jeans, where the v of his hipbones dipped and I felt the muscles tense against the tickle. I watched a cruel smile cross his lips, like he was debating on whether to stop my actions or just enjoy the torture as I moved up along the trail of light hair that reached his navel, but he slapped his hand down against mine gently when I moved just past it.

"Keep going and I'm going to take you down, right here, right now," he whispered and stepped closer, making sure my hand never left his skin as his free one reached out, cupping the back of my head. His kiss was bruising and passionate, wanting and possessive and oh how I loved it as my other hand was free to wander the length of his spine and all the muscles of his back, pulling low growls from him as I teased. He pulled his lips away, just far enough to breath and whisper against mine. "Garage, now!"

"Yes Sir," I smiled and moved to head in that direction, but the hand that held me to him moved, snaking around my waist and he closed that gap, bringing his mouth crushing down against mine as his tongue invaded. I was the one that moaned this time, letting him know that everything he was doing was perfect, but as soon as the noise left my throat, his lips tore from him.

I had never seen such a primal look from him before, like want and lust and protection, the need to claim what was his, had just taken over him and he started walking, my hand tucked gently in his. I looked at Dean's half-cocked smile as we passed where he was sitting on a piece of wood, beer in hand, and the green-eyed one winked at me.

What the hell?

I'm not going to bore you with details of the trek to the building, or the way he practically pulled me up the stairs but the moment we crested the top, I was pressed up against the boxes, his mouth on my neck instead of my lips, one hand curled around my throat, holding me there as his lips branded their way over my skin.

I couldn't breathe, not that his grip was tight at all, but the feelings that his body, his lips and those fingers gave me made it all seem pointless to do anything but _feel_ what he was doing. I didn't need to breath to do that, right?

Things always seemed to be just the right height, at least for Sam's advantage. He fumbled with the button of my jeans, pushing them down with one hand as the other skillfully lifted me to the heavy wooden foot locker that stood tall. The cool breeze of the loft sent goosebumps over my skin when he had taken care of the hindrance that was my clothing, and I mean all of it.

I leaned back the best I could as his mouth moved along my collar bone, down lower to capture my nipple between his teeth, the shock of the warmth compared to the exposure I was left with had me take a sharp breath but as his teeth raked over the hard peak.

He smiled as he looked up, and I watched his tongue dart out as those blue-green eyes grew darker with want, his hand sliding down the length of my ribs until he sat at my hip, and then suddenly I felt him at the heat beneath his hands. I felt my eyes roll back as his fingers slipped in, and curl to find that sweet spot, the one that sent my legs shaking as his lips traveled lower.

My eyes sprung open as that hot mouth closed over what I thought was the most sensitive part of my body but I was wrong, nothing compared to the feeling of his tongue against that overstimulated bundle of nerves as his finger glided in and out of the slick heat right below it. I didn't know how much more I could take, baring down on his hand as if I were trying to get him in deeper.

"Sam," I begged in a pleading whisper and his eyes came up to meet mine, his mouth suddenly so close I could feel the heat, "I need you."

His lips were hot, branding and tasted bitter sweet as he claimed mine once again, his fingers still ever moving in their effort to prepare me for what was coming next… him. I heard the tear of the foil, felt the rumble of a moan that vibrated through him as he slipped the latex on, never even noticing that he had unbuckled or even pushed the jeans down around his hips, but I certainly could feel him against me.

He paused, held just as still as he could, stole his lips from mine and locked his eyes on me as he slowly pushed against the folds. It was too slow, I needed too much and I reached down, grasping his hips with my small hands, trying to pull him closer, but he just smiled, placed one against the middle of my back, holding me up and the other, he tangled in my hair.

"Tell me what you want," his breath was hot against me and I tried to move, to take him in but he held steady, "I can make it last or we can do this rough, but you have to tell me."

"Now, Sam, I want you now!" I snapped and brought my hand up to grip a fistful of his hair, tugging him towards me.

I was the one that needed this time, kissed him with such force that I felt our teeth click and he suddenly tugged me to him, burying himself deep and fast. I stiffened at the intrusion but it was what I wanted, him, all of him and I wasn't about to let go.

Sam's breaths were a little more than huffs as he set the pace, a heart-pounding, throbbing pace that had us each trying to remember to breath as the end seemed to come too fast and too forcefully for both of us, but it had been such a long day, such a tiring and emotional day that it was what we needed.

I bit down on his lips, not letting him go as the ripples flashed through me, and my legs wrapped tightly around his waist, allowing him to do little more than a short, fast thrust. My fist gripped his hair harder as my fingers dug into his skin and I could feel his own start to curl against my back. He released my neck, slammed his hand down on the locker, trying to keep from hurting me as I heard his nails scrape against the wood, digging in deep, as he suddenly back away from my mouth, ripping his lips from mine and I watched as he careened over the edge, his eyes wide as his head went back a little and his jaw clenched.

I watched as his lips finally parted, as he remembered he needed to breath and slowly the hand on the wood flexed, slowly coming back up to brace my back with one final thrust deep within, a position he held me in as he brought his forehead down to my shoulder.

I relaxed my hold on his hair, now slick with sweat and closed my eyes as his arms wrapped around me and he drew me to his sweat soaked chest. I could smell him, body wash, deodorant, shampoo but under all that was the scent of _him_ as I leaned my cheek against the muscle, and listened to the wild thump of his heart, the way he tried to steady his breathing. He picked his head up, placed his cheek against my hair and I smiled as I felt him soften and slip out, leaving me feeling empty and detached, like an intimate link had been severed, but I also shivered as our bodies began to cool.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his fingers running up my spine.

"For what, that was amazing." I grinned and felt him pull back, his embrace eased as he looked down at me.

"I was too rough, it was too hard," he was literally kicking himself for something I asked for and I reached up, placing my palm against the redness of his cheek.

"It was perfect, Sam." I smiled and watched the confusion in his eyes. "Not everyone likes it slow and easy, and I already told you that you're not going to do any damage." I watched him lick his lips, the look of uncertainty in his eyes. "Trust me when I tell you, that was… amazing."

Sam gave me a half smirk, still not believing me but kind of proud of himself and that was what I wanted, I wanted to see that and I wanted it to reach his eyes. He kissed me softly, just a brush of his lips as if to show me he could be just as gentle as he could rough, and I believed him, oh how completely I believed him!

"Not to be a mood killer," I whispered as he trailed soft caresses down my cheeks once again, "but I have to look at those stitches."

"I know," his breath moved across my ear, and I tried to hold in the moan, but the shiver gave him the hint that whatever he was trying to accomplish had worked. "First, we have to find your clothes."

Clothes? Screw the clothes, I was comfortable and I wanted him to stay close, so I could enjoy the warmth of his body but he backed away. My eyes trailed from his darkened eyes down his neck, across his chest and I followed that line, all the way down to where he hung from the tangled patch of hair below his waist.

Even in his current state, the man was a living statue, perfect in every sense of the word and I watched his hands as he slid the condom from his body, those hands running over himself as he tied it and found a place for it, but I found myself biting my lip as he tucked himself away and zipped those jeans.

Dammit!

Sam laughed low as he helped me slide into my clothes, slowly and I let him dress me, completely sated and really not in the mood to do anything let alone put _clothes_ on. I watched as he took his time, letting his fingers glide over every part of me he could until I was completely covered, which was when he winked and back away.

With a sigh, I watched as he stuffed his hands in his pocket and looked at me, tilting his head just a little, but his face took on a solemn expression, and I leaned forward, bracing myself with my hands on the wooden locker.

"What is it, Sam?"

"I don't think I can let you go," he admitted, and he sucked in his bottom lips. With most people, you would reach out and take them in your arms, but I could tell by the fact that he had backed up that he didn't want to be held, just heard. "Not Thursday morning, not Friday night, not ever."

"I can't exactly come jumping across the country with you, Sam, but you don't have to really let me go." I knew this conversation was going to come up eventually, it was just a matter of time.

"You have Crowley after you, how am I not supposed to keep you at my side?"

"There are only two real choices," I whispered as I hopped down and stepped up to him, my fingers on that tape in order to help him see that I wasn't going to be that sappy girl that had to cry through moments like this, even if I wanted to, but I looked up at him, let him see the uncertainty in my own eyes. "You stay close enough to me at home in Massachusetts, or you stay with your brother and you do what you do to keep me safe while I'm there. Crowley will come for me when he wants to, whether you're there or not, and we don't even know why he's got Danni involved."

Sam took in a breath, his eyes moving from mine to concentrate on the fingers that pulled along the tape. I backed away, taking the gauze with me, relieved that it hadn't stuck at all, which meant that it was healing well and we hadn't ripped anything.

I stepped back for just a second, watching his hands clench as he removed them from his pockets, trying to control the need to draw me closer and when I came back with the wipes that I had snatched from the first aid kit, I felt him draw in a deep breath.

"Why is this so confusing?" His voice was low, as if he weren't really asking me, just talking out loud and I felt his fingertips brushing along my scalp, while I leaned in to clean the area. I smiled, gave him a little laugh and glanced up at him for a quick second.

"Who said anything about love being a straightforward thing?" I retorted, but suddenly thought about what I had said. For a second I stopped, did I really just use the "L" word, but I tried to continue with what I was doing, unfazed by the thing that had slipped out. Clearing my throat, I stood up straight, glanced at the beautiful way the stitches were healing and finally looked at his eyes. He had caught that slip and was looking at me as if I had just slapped him. "Ah, I would let it air out. Just put a shirt on and give it a little while to dry before we put a new one on."

He was just staring, why the hell was he just staring?

Suddenly uncomfortable in my own skin, I stepped back, swallowed and turned quickly, making my way down the stairs, leaving him there to be just as confused as I was.

Danni looked up at me from the ground where she had started a small fire of just the kindling, Dean was up at the garage, I know because I passed him quickly on the way out. He had called my name as I rushed by but I didn't bother to stop, I didn't even bother to acknowledge him, but I knew that mistake was going to come back and kick me in the ass.

Danni stood straight, looked at me with concern and though she reached out, I backed away, raising my fingers to ward her off. With a hard swallow, I steadied myself.

"I think," I whispered and lost the words I was going to say, at least for a second before I finally grounded myself, "I think I'm in love with Sam."

The smile that started as just a little grin became wide enough that it brought a sparkle to her eyes as she raised a hand and put it across her mouth, trying to hide the hilarity she found in the statement.

"Am I supposed to be shocked?" She asked, clearing her throat.

"You're supposed to tell me that I'm insane and that it's only been a few days." I snapped and watched as she crossed her arms.

"Do you believe that?"

"Not for a damn second, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be saying it!" I replied as I began to pace, just a few steps back and forth.

"Why would I say it if I don't believe it any more than you do?"

"You're totally not helping right now."

"Oh," she shrugged, "I didn't know I was supposed to be."

I put my hands on my hips and shook my head. It was then that Dean, who I had assumed would at some point make an entrance, did exactly that. He stood there, watching me paced and glanced from me to Danni.

"What's…" he started and pointed at me, his finger following my movements, "what's, ah, going on?"

"My sister is in love with your brother," Danni answered and I stared at her wide eyed.

Dean raised a brow and shrugged, "well, duh!"

And that was all he said before he turned around and walked back to the garage. I stopped pacing, stopped breathing and for a moment, stopped thinking because that was so not what I had expected. Danni's grin never faltered as she went back to the fire in front of her. I looked from her to the backside of the man walking away several times before I let out a huff and sat down on the ground, crossing my legs as I stared at the fire.

"You were expecting something different?" Danni laughed.

"I really wasn't expecting anything," I answered, watching the flames, "I guess I was just shocked."

"You were shocked at your feelings for Sam?"

"Yes...No…" I rolled my eyes, "shut up!"

Danni laughed. "What did he say?"

"Nothing, I didn't give him a chance, I didn't even really tell him. I just said something stupid like "blah, blah, blah, love" or some crap and then walked away." I rubbed my hands over my face and sighed. "I need a vampire to kill, something to swing at…"

"Sex?"

My sights landed on her, "how do you think we got on the topic to begin with?"

"Wow," she poked at the flames, "you really do have it bad if sex leads to love talk."

"You know what?" I snapped and she grinned. "You suck!"

"You know, I've read that somewhere before." She winked and I just let out my breath. This was going to get me nowhere and I should really have been inside talking to Sam. "So, what's for dinner?"

"Vodka, strong and preferably whipped!" I replied and lay back on the grass, putting my hands over my eyes as she snickered. "I don't know, what's close?"

"How about your boyfriend's heart on a spike?" Wayne snarled as Danni and I were both overshadowed by the man who stood six foot four. Danni turned in her spot, tossing the burning kindling branch she was holding into the fire and backed up until she was sitting next to me. "Or, we could just have ourselves a couple of lovely little witches."

He smiled down at us, the large blade in his hand and I grabbed Danni by the arm. I could see the glint of the fire against the metal of the gun tucked in the small of her back. She was the only one armed. I hadn't come out with a gun, in fact the last time I had the Walther in my possession was the night before with the demons at the bar.

My brain went into overdrive. How were we going to get the boys attention? Exactly what the hell was Wayne planning to do with the knife and what the hell was his issue to begin with?

"Wayne, when did you get home?" Danni question but the rolling feeling in my gut, the one that said "haul ass" was practically screaming in my ear and I clutched onto Danni as hard as I could, using my feet to kick back as Wayne stepped forward, that blade in his hand. The only response that Danni got was a wide grin and an evil look. "Wayne, what's going on?"

"You've been a busy little bird since I've been gone, busy with a Winchester!" He snarled. "I can smell him from here."

What the hell was with people smelling other people on us, it just didn't make any sense to me, but then again, my brain was reaching… reaching for something I desperately needed to remember.

 _You're doing it again, you're blocking yourself._ THIS was not Cas, this was a deeper, spicier voice with a slight accent, male not female this time but undeniably recognizable. _Remember it, Pet, it starts with an "E"!_

"Get out of my head!" I snapped out loud and Danni looked at me concerned but he was right, it only started with the letter "E", and that simple reminder had my brain working in overtime as the words started to flow "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas…"

"Shut it, Bitch!" Wayne growled and watched his hand come up, his fingers curl and I could feel the invisible digits around my throat. It was so hard to breath, I brought my hands up, clawing at the unseeing force that strangled me and my world started to fade.

I heard it, like a sound underwater as the hammer clicked back on a gun. Even worse was the way that Danni's voice sounded so muffled as the world on the edge of my eyes began to blacken.

"Let her go, you son of a bitch, or I swear I'll fill you so full of lead and ash you'll rattle like a change purse!" Those were her words, at least from what I could make out and she meant every single syllable.

"You're not going to shoot me, I'm wearing your husband as a meat suit," it laughed and I managed to look up just in time to see his eyes change, completely blackened out like the demons at the bar.

"Watch me!" She snarled through clenched teeth and the sound of the gun, of the pin coming down, rang through my ears. The hand released as air rushed into my lungs and I felt Danni's hand on my leg as I saw the blood run from the bullet wound in Wayne's shoulder. The sound of the gun going off notified the boys and while Danni locked the demon in a stare, I turned to watch the fury rise in the Winchester's faces. "Try that little stunt again and I won't miss."

"I'll kill him!" The demon threatened.

Danni's face went solemn, thought back to the night of the storm and the changes in her husband and she let out a heartbreaking sigh.

"You've been playing with him for day, he's probably already dead," she answered, her tone void of emotions as she stood, pulling me to my feet with her. "Now. Where was she? Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus..."

Dean's deep tone added to the chorus that Danni had started, and soon I joined in but we watched as the demon fought with all he had, at least for a little bit before he stopped moving and just stood there, smiling.

"I'm not just some petty little piss-ant that you can banish with an exorcism, and I don't see any devil's traps to keep me from killing all of you," his eyes locked on me, "especially you."

"Then if you're just going to kill us anyway, wanna monologue me up to date on what the hell is going on?" I snapped and stepped forward, Danni took my wrist but I didn't dare to get any closer.

"Are you so ready to die that you need it all spelled out for you?" He grinned, and I felt my insides shake. I wasn't looking at Wayne any more, I was looking at the monster inside him. "It's simple really, your grandmothers made a deal and I'm here to collect."

"Wait?" Dean spoke up, stepping closer, "What?"

Wayne the Demon turned and waved a hand, tossing Dean across the lawn and you could hear the breath rush from his lungs. Sam raised a gun, pointing it at the demon but it only smiled and shook its head, like there was nothing Sam could do with a puny gun to make this one go away.

"You didn't know?" he said snidely. "You Winchesters...hunters...some title when you couldn't even spot the descendants of witches." Sam glanced at me, he had known and I watched him release a breath. There was no judgement in his eyes and I'm glad he had gotten the truth out of me.

Dean pushed himself up from the ground, the look of confusion in his eyes felt like daggers as he stared at the two of us, but Sam's jaw clenched as he steadied himself, adjusting his footing for either a fight or to fire off a shot.

"Yep, Granny Goodwitch and her sisters in the coven way back when Ali was just a little pain in the ass, made a deal with Crowley." Wayne smiled and turned his attention back to us, but I could see that Dean was becoming less and less concerned about the monologing demon and his bullshit story. "They wanted these two protected, they wanted them to grow up so nice and pretty, and look at that, here we are today, and where's your protector? Where's your...Crowley?"

The way he said, the way he sneered as he enunciated the word made me feel the disdain flow from him, but that was when I was able to steal a glance in Sam's direction. His eyes were off the prize, off from Wayne the Demon and onto something standing not far behind us. Danni's movement caught my attention as she shifted to squat beside me and I finally got the hint, someone was behind us.

I turned, not sure I wanted to see but part of me was curious. My mind's eyes had him dressed just like Mark from the show, a little over five foot eleven, dark hair and a beard and in a designer black suit, but when I finally looked at him, I was completely taken aback.

This man was taller than Mark, or maybe because I was sitting on the ground, clean-shaven but still with raven black hair, dressed to the nines in a suit but it was more...just a bit more than the black I was expecting. The colors in it were vibrant. The suit was lovingly tailored, a dark blue pinstripe, which sounded odd but fit him perfectly. The vest seemed some wild pattern but the tie is what set it off, and I know I had seen him before.

"Sorry, Love, this was the quickest suit I could find," his accent was off, just a bit different than the one in my head, Welsh instead of Scottish. "I didn't want to bring my own, in case of any unforeseen possibility that the Moron here decides to get frisky."

"Come for your girls?" Wayne laughed, "No need to worry, _King_ , I'm going to take this little problem off your hands."

"As much as I would like to dispose of the little nuances, a deal is a deal." Crowley fixed the cuff on his sleeves before stuffing his hands in the overcoat he had on, the only thing that was black, and he stepped closer. Dean was on his feet in an instant, colt aimed at one or the other monster, since he wasn't sure who to fire at, but I was also now standing, bonfire at my back with nowhere to go. "You can't have them, Azeel."

"Your plan for their bloodline is insanity, Crowley, something you should have never set in motion and I'm not the only one to think so, how do you think we got this far without you knowing?" This statement from the demon got a quick smirk from Crowley.

"Oh, no, I knew I should have had you followed," he said in mock shock that his plan had been foiled, but his face twisted in anger. "Did you really believe you were doing this under the radar, that you and your miniscule band of merry men were truly going to pull this off?" I could hear his voice rise as he stopped, no more than five feet from Danni and I, and that grin crossed his face even as the anger filled his eyes. "I'm the _bloody_ King of Hell, you _Moron_! I've known what was going on every step of the way, ever since you put that little bloodsucker on her thirty years ago."

This caught my attention, and I looked from Crowley to the demon and back. Sam's eyes locked on mine as I felt my stomach turn and Danni's hands were at my shoulders, steadying me as the knowledge shook me to the core.

"Now, I suggest you find yourself a nice little corner to hide in for a few centuries before we make a real mess of this little encounter." Crowley's voice was even, monotoned and that sent shivers down my spine.

"I'm not afraid of you, Crowley." Azeel, Wayne...whoever he was...snarked and smiled.

"Oh, you should be." With that, the battled ensued and all we could do, or at least all I remembered doing was sitting back and watching as Crowley raised his hand, as did Wayne and it was an invisible fight to the death, a telepathic MMA fight that no one seemed to want to step into, until Dean did.

The shot was fired, and it echoed across the emptiness making me jump out of my skin as my eyes set on the man with the smoking gun. Wayne's eyes went large, his body seemed to vibrate and explode with color as the bullet did its job. I could see his ribs as his insides lit up, and he stumbled to turn towards the older Winchester. Dean had caught him in the side, not a kill shot but for a Devil's trap bullet, it didn't have to be, it rendered him useless and trapped.

Crowley stepped closer as did Dean and Sam and we watched as the King placed his hand on Wayne's forehead, smiling down when the demon went to his knees.

"Did you really think you could beat me?" Crowley grinned, well it was more of a snarl, "or touch those that I protected without ramifications? Hmm, where you're going, you'll wish that hunter had put it in your brain instead."

Danni and I both jumped back as the sudden glow of power rocked Wayne's body and like the demons in the back alley, the black smoke seemed to explode from every pore. Wayne dropped to the ground, with eyes wide open and lifeless. Danni dropped the gun and ran to his side as I stood there in shock, trying hard to catch my breath.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

I could hear Danni mumbling words, her voice shaking and full of dread as Dean, gun raised towards the man before me, stepped closer and crouched down beside her, his hand reaching for Wayne's neck, but Crowley ignored the Winchester, his sights set on me as he came closer. I clenched my hands together in anger, but it didn't reach my eyes as I stared up at him.

From behind, I could see Sam take a protective stance above his brother, weapon still at the ready, but I focused on the man in front of me.

"They made a deal for you to protect me...us?" I questioned.

"Purely self-serving on my part," he grinned. "You, and your partner, are the last pure descendants of your bloodlines and I need you for a role that I've waited centuries to fulfill."

"You kept us safe to use us?" I shook my head, not in disbelief but in the knowledge that there was always a hidden agenda.

"I made a binding contract that no harm would come to you or her from that night forward."

"The bite?" I watched him grin and wink. "Son of a bitch!" I whispered in disbelief, his notion of "no harm" wasn't to protect me from the vampire, it was to get rid of the evidence. "Why don't you just take care of the problem following me now?"

"He's not a threat to your immediate health," Crowley grinned.

"Screw off!" I snapped and this had Sam moving closer. "He tried to take me down more than once, he threw Sam through a window!"

"Yes, an unfortunate accident," Crowley answered and looked over Sam, "but, it looked like it helped you snag a flannel-clad Moose in the process. Tell me, is he just as good in the sack as he looks?"

I wasn't thinking, didn't really know what I was doing, but my hand came up and I smacked him full force across the cheek. I could feel the emotions building, the tears in my eyes began to sting as I glanced down at the body beneath Danni's trembling hands.

"Save him!" I ordered and stepped forward, coming toe-to-toe with the well-dressed man. "Save him and I'll do whatever you want."

"You can't make a contract with me, darling, your life is already under one, and I have the souls to satisfy it." Crowley leaned down to me and stared into my eyes as his turned red. "I need you for so much more than just this little adventure, Kitten."

"You!" I snapped and punched at him with the side of my fist, one hit for every word, "Stupid! Sadistic! Son of a bitch!"

He grabbed me by the wrist and leaned down so that our foreheads were touching before his smile turned into a sneer.

"Ow!" he mocked and let me go, giving me a little shove backwards, right into a solid wall! I felt hands on my upper arms, gentle but safe and firm and I looked up at the blue eyes that were locked on Crowley. "Castiel, so nice of you to join the party."

"Azeel is dead, Crowley, there's no need for you to be here any longer." Cas growled. Dean looked up from Danni, from where he sat with her wrapped in his arms, and Castiel looked over, locking into a stare with the green-eyed man, but I watched as Dean's gaze turned away, a look of defeat in them as he scanned the body. Cas turned me to him and I reached up, grabbing two fists of his suit jacket. "I'm sorry, I can't save him."

"Why?" I questioned, my lips trembling as the tears began to fall, "you said you would be here, why does he have to die?"

"Wayne never survived the initial possession," Cas whispered, his hand touching my cheek as he made sure I understood what he was saying, "his heart gave out as soon as Azeel took control, I'm sorry."

"He's been dead for days?" I blinked back the information and peeked over at Danni, who was staring up in shock. "Since when, Thursday night?"

"Yes," Cas said softly, "I'm afraid so."

"I was only brought to the attention of Azeel because of Juliette. I had her protecting the area, and our little Danni, but it was too late to save her other half." Crowley answered and I found that I could turn slightly in Cas' arms to look at him, but Crowley was staring at Cas. "Your protection of these girls is severely lacking, Feathers, I thought you were on top of the situation."

"I've been tracking another source," Cas answered.

"Dad?" Sam's voice interrupted and I watched as he cocked back the hammer, not sure if he was pointing it at Cas or Crowley. "You know where my father is?"

"I know where he is, yes." Cas answered but his eyes went back to Crowley. "And you're not having him."

"You've known?" Sam questioned, confused, "this whole time?"

"It's my job to protect your father, to protect you and Dean, and that was what I was doing." Cas defended himself but didn't take his eyes off Crowley. "Leave," I felt the cold metal of an angel blade suddenly appear against my back, he was holding it so close the chill of it could be felt through the light shirt. "Whatever you were trying to accomplish here is done."

"Well, we can't all be the good guys," the demon shrugged, "but then again, we can all be bad at some point." I watched as he turned his sights to Sam. "Use your little ring on him, Moose, and burn the body as quickly as possible, Azeel is known to come back from the dead rather quickly, and he has a fetish for repossessing bodies that he's...enjoyed."

With that Crowley disappeared with the sound of a puff, but there was no smoke, or sulfur to even make you think he was ever around. Sam lowered the gun, moved past Dean and Danni, to stare down the man still holding me in a protective stance, but the blade had disappeared.

"Where's my father, Cas?" Sam growled as his fist clenched, one around the handle of the gun, the other so tightly that his knuckles were white.

"As soon as it's safe for you to take on this kind of issue, Sam, I'll let you know." He answered, his brow raising as if to tell the man not to bother trying to get more out of him. Sam shook his head.

"We've been searching for him for years," Sam snapped, "you've got to give me something."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, but I wasn't sure if it was to me or to Sam, but he placed a light kiss on my forehead before speaking one last time. "I can't."

And then he was gone.

Both Sam and I looked around, knowing that the angel wasn't going to be anywhere in the area, and I turned, finally breaking down as Sam wrapped his arms lovingly around me, while my body shook as the sobs came pouring out. The week had been hell, and wonderful wrapped up in one but emotionally, I was almost completely done.

I watched as Danni stood guard over the linen wrapped body while the boys helped with the task of building the hunter's pyre. We were deep in the field, away from any prying eyes, and even further away from vehicle access. I moved to stand by her as Sam and Dean lifted Wayne's body up and set him down gently upon the top of the woods before Dean stepped over, a torch in his hand. I placed my hand on Danni's back, felt her take the heat that Dean offered and slowly she moved forward.

From where I stood, I watched her take a breath, a deep shuddering breath that almost made her legs give out, but she steadied herself, mumbled some words that no one really heard, but that's okay because they weren't meant for us, they were only meant for him. She took a step forward and placed the torch inside the pyre, one doused with an accelerant and then stepped back as the flames spread quickly, and rose high.

Dean's arms were around her, holding her, and all I could do was smile because that was how it should be, not him worried about me, not him needing my connection but him wanting hers, being with _her_! Sam's arms encircled my waist, and I turned to press my chest against his, my arms tucked safely between us as I put my hand on his heart, feeling it's beat.

His lips were a solid reminder that he was there as they rested on my head, his breath flowing over my scalp and I licked my lips. He didn't say anything, his hands just spanned my back and I felt him trying to draw me in, to hold me impossibly close while we were standing there, but he was trying. The shock of Cas finding his father but not letting anything out of the bag, the fact that what I had told him about my grandmother was now out in the open, this was all weighing on him.

How could he protect me from anything, from himself, from Dean, when I was one of the things that he hunted? His hand moved from my back and ran gently up my shoulders, until his fingers were rested in the slope of my shoulders, his middle and index finger caressing my neck and he nudged my chin up so that I could look at him.

"What the hell did my grandmother get us into?" I whispered, the emotion evident in my voice, but I tried to push it away from the look in my eyes.

"I don't know, Al, but do know that I'm going to keep him from you."

I smiled and leaned into his touch, and in a strange turn of events, I found myself thinking about that first night and the one thing that Dean kept repeating. "You can't."

"I sure as hell can try," he whispered and he leaned forward, ghosting a kiss across my lips as I closed my eyes.

And oh, how I wanted him to try, I wanted him to try so hard that he never let me out of this hold. I wanted him to keep me there forever, safe, but that wasn't how it was going to be, that wasn't our destiny, at least not right now.

"What are we going to do?" I whispered, his thumb running across my lower lip.

"Keep her close," he sighed and we both turned our sights on Danni, who was wrapped protectively and safely in Dean's arms.

"I think your brother has that covered for now." I smiled, but it faded as I watched the fire just beyond them. "I don't know what to do, Sam."

I felt his breath as he came close to my ear, feel the shake of his body as he tried to keep everything he was under control. It wasn't easy for him, he felt everything tenfold, anger, lust, passion, death… one more death in all that he had seen… and his fingers trembled as he slipped them back into my hair.

"Love me," he pleaded. That hard hunter facade faded with those words and the darkness that surrounded him crumbled as I turned to look at him, getting trapped in those eyes. "Just love me."

I felt my breath hitch, my hand gripped his shirt and held on tightly as he kissed me, not hard and demanding as he usually did, but controlled and lovingly, as if he needed just that little bit of comfort. Love him… didn't he know I already did?

I was leaning back against Baby, my mind going in a million different directions as I crossed my arms and looked down at one of the small stained spaces on the floor. Crowley was protecting us for a reason, Cas knew where John was, but he was protecting him and the boys… protecting a demon? I mean I know it wasn't John's fault, at least that was what I believed, but he made a deal, and from what I get he hadn't been active but why the protection?

Crowley acting on a deal out of some sort of self-preservation, not an unusual thing, but to help save himself from what? And what kind of danger needs that kind of preemptive strike to make a deal thirty years ago? Bloodline... last of the pure bloodline, me and _Danni_ , what did that mean, were we really sisters, or at least somewhere down like line actually family, blood family?

Sam stood in the doorway of the garage, watching Danni I assumed, as she sat by the fire. Dean had disappeared the moment we had gotten back, still needing to patrol the area to make sure that there weren't any more vamps, but the signs were right, a demon had been among us. Still, him being out there, alone with the gun and the blade, I don't think vampires were what he was looking for, I think he was just hoping something would jump out at him at the wrong time.

I had seen his face when the word "witch" had been used, the confusion, the uncertainty but he had still crowded around Danni, still protected her, so why did it make me feel that somehow, in some way, I was the one that all his questions were going to come down on.

Sam cleared his throat, making my head snap up at the sound, so much closer than the last place I had seen him and I watched as he leaned against the car beside me. Why had he moved away from the door, wasn't he supposed to be watching her? My eyes traveled from his to the silhouette in the darkness just outside the reach of the light to see Dean, standing at the ready, legs apart, arms crossed, no doubt with the colt in hand and I sighed.

"You should go out there," Sam whispered, leaning in to let the breath caress my ear and I let out a sigh. In his hand was a blanket, and even though it was close to eighty outside, I knew what it was for. When he handed it to me, I let the feeling of the rough material sink in, used it to ground myself as I pushed my body away from the car. He took my hand, before I stepped away and let his thumb slide back and forth across my knuckles. "We'll get to the bottom of this, I promise."

I gave him a quick smile before responding, "I don't think I want to." I watched his eyes fill with confusion, the animated way his brows followed and the frown set on his lips told me that there was no way he was understanding why. "I thought I had been a kid with issues, nightmares, and a wild imagination, but that wasn't it… it never was just me being a kid. The supernatural has followed me from the jump and it scares the hell out of me. I have three children at home, Sam, three beautiful, intelligent children who aren't at all ready for this."

"No one is ever ready for a life like this, Ali, it's not something you study for," Sam replied, his voice was soft, there was no judgement there, and I wasn't judging his life, or the way he lived it either.

"I studied," I smiled, cracking on the vampire lore that I was so obsessed with, "I thought I had learned everything I could, except there was one thing I never expected." I gave his hand a gentle squeeze and licked the dryness from my lips. "I never expected you."

"You say it…"

"It's not," I interrupted, "it will never be a bad thing, but it will always be there, you will always be there and I know they'll be protected but Sam, how do I not bring Crowley to them? How do I keep Cas and demons away?"

"You know how," he grinned, "just like you know about vampire wards and sigils and an exorcism that you still need to work on, by the way, but you have everything you could ever need to protect them. Even me."

I nodded, he was right, but it wasn't something I said out loud, I just nodded and slipped from his fingers, heading out the door towards the fire with the blanket in hand. I passed Dean, I thought I was far enough away to not disturb him, to keep the questions at bay but I felt the hand that stopped me, the arm that wrapped around my waist from behind and as I drew in a deep breath, I could smell everything that made him Dean to me and I relaxed back against him.

His free hand came up to settle on my arm, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze before his moved it to rest against my hair, his lips pressed against my head just before he replaced them with his forehead and I heard him sigh.

"You scared me," he admitted, the touch moving from the side of my face down to join his hand at my waist. "Azeel had you and Danni and my first thought was I couldn't lose her, not now, not when it was just starting…"

"And that's the way it should be," I whispered as I listened, but he shook his head, something I felt as he rolled against the back of mine.

"No, it's not that easy, because the thought that came after, the one of my heart shattering if anything happened to you, that scared the hell out of me." His arms wrapped just a little tighter, one spanning my ribs, one grasping at my hip. "I don't get it, how the hell did you get so deep so quickly? How can you be so ingrained in me that I would jump headlong into a fire to save you?"

"It's just my charisma," I smiled and placed a hand on his, "you said it yourself Dean, we're family, from the moment you stepped through that door and swung at that vampire, we were family, and sometimes they do that, you know dig in deep and never let go." I turned quickly in his arms, before he could stop me, dropping the blanket in the grass as I placed my hands on his chest. "But, you can't let it stop you from protecting her, she comes first."

"Ali," he sighed, "I don't know if I can."

"I know," I smiled and watched his face do the same thing Sam's did, but his lips thinned and it stretched that white scar. "I know what instincts tell you, save the girl, save the day. This girl doesn't need to be saved, Dean, that one… no matter how much she would hate to admit it, right now that one does."

"If anything happens, you know I'm coming for you."

"Her first, Dean, it has to be always her first." I stared up into his eyes pleading with him and watched as his tongue rolled out over his lips, his eyes going right to the woman at the fire and then back at me. "I need to you to promise me that you will put Danni before me."

"Like I said, I don't know if I can," he sighed. "I will always protect her, she will always be the one I stand behind, or in front of but Ali, not until this is over, not until I know you're safe."

I smiled, reached up and touched his cheek, running the pads of my fingers along the length of the reminder he had left on his face, a reminder of the time he wasn't able to protect and I felt him shiver.

"You ever had two Winchesters at your back?" I questioned and watched his eyes light up in a smile, either thinking about Cas, the unofficial Winchester, or John, and he didn't even have to answer. "Then you know that no matter what, there will never be a time that I'm _not_ safe. She's first, Dean, she's priority on this one, and I know you'll do what you need to in order to keep her that way."

"Stop being so damn bossy," he said in a mock tone of aggravation before he kissed my forehead and let me go.

I raised a brow, grabbed the blanket and walked over towards Danni. For a second I stopped, looking around the dark field, letting the cold shiver and feeling of being watched flow over me before I rested the blanket across her shoulders and sat down beside her.

Danni looked at me, her eyes puffy and red from crying earlier, but there wasn't any evidence on her face of recent tears and she gave me a half-hearted smile before she bumped against me with her shoulder. I watched her eyes focus once again on the fire, as I looked over her expression and the smile faded from my lips.

I had done this, I had brought this into her life. MY grandmother, MY demons, MY fight and she had lost her husband because of it, and there was no way I was ever going to forgive myself.

It was nowhere close to midnight, hell I don't even think it was past ten when I made my way back to the garage. Danni had left the blanket draped over me where I had laid back in the grass and apparently closed my eyes. Sam was standing watch when I stepped into the light and he gave me a faint smile.

My stomach rumbled, yeah dinner had been forgotten, at least from our minds, but my body craved food and I heard the door come down behind me as I looked around. There were Sonic bags on the table, a few half-empty beers and I turned to look at Sam, questioning the absence of the two I had expected to see. His eyes glanced in the direction of the bathroom, where my ears finally caught the sound of the shower and I nodded.

"You need to eat," he sighed and his hands rested on my hips.

"You must be psychic now, Sam Winchester," I smiled, and stood up on my tiptoes to steal a kiss before I slipped out of his grasp and made my way to the table. Rummaging through the bags I found some boneless wings and a Strawberry Lime-Aid with my name on it. Sweet!

Sam sat down across from me, taking a beer in hand and I watched as he twirled it, his eyes peeking up every now and again to look me over as I was happily stuffing my face. Food never tasted so good.

Dean walked out of the bathroom, and I looked him over as he twirled the chair and straddled, leaning his arms against the back of it. His hair was still dry, which made me curious, but not enough to ask what he had been doing in the bathroom, the grin on his face was enough to seal any thoughts on that.

He stretched back and ran his hand through his hair as all three of us watched Danni slowly emerge from the bathroom, the steam flowing from the room. I smiled at her as she tied her hair back in a braid and came to sit right next to Sam at the table. She slid the beer towards Dean, grabbed her soda and gave him a curious look, which had me just sitting back watching.

"So," he spoke plainly, his voice deep, which meant only one thing, "we have to talk." Yep, how did I know? His eyes flickered from one of us to the other as Danni tried to ignore him and go on eating her food, but I knew that no matter what, when Dean actually wanted to talk, people needed to respond. "Witches?"

"It's a long story," I sighed. His green eyes landed on me.

"We got time," he snapped.

"But I don't have all the details." I put the soda down and turned in the seat to face him completely. "Look, all I remember is flashes of memories, and one night when I was nine, but other than that, I had no idea."

"Okay, so tell me about that one night," he coaxed gently and I let out a breath because I hadn't really told Danni about it either. "Anything you can remember, anything useful."

"It's the night I learned about the wards," I whispered, clearing my throat, "in fact, it was the night I learned everything I know about the what was really in the darkness." Sam sat forward, moving every part of himself to the edge of the seat so that his leg touched mine under the table. "I think… well at the time I wasn't sure but now I know it, they summoned Crowley that night, our grandmothers and he, well she at the time, told me that nothing would harm me from that night forward."

"Fat lot of good that promise was," Dean huffed, "you've been attacked by vampires how many times in the last week alone?"

"But I haven't gotten hurt, I mean not really. The scratches are pretty well healed and of all the shit that's happened, I'm still alive." I glanced around the garage, tapped twice on the table and set my sights on Dean once more. "Okay, listen, this is all I got, I think Crowley gave me everything, I mean I think he crammed every piece of information that he could about witchcraft into my head. I recognized the wards that Sam put up, the symbols on your rings, hell I could rattle off more than a dozen spells and I have no idea where they came from but I'm not a witch."

Dean sat back, this was the moment, the one that decided whether we lost him, the one where he made up his mind if _I_ truly was the monster I claimed to be. I glanced at Danni, whose eyes were locked on Dean, just waiting, and then I turned to Sam, but his expression told me only one thing, he was ready to move should Dean decide to draw his gun.

"I believe you," Dean whispered. The breath I was holding released and I sit back, well not only me but Sam as well. I saw the younger Winchester's look of confusion, as if Dean had given in way too easily.

"What?" Danni whispered

"Dean..." Sam's mouth began to move quietly as words seemed to slip out with just his breath, Psalms 68, and Dean's lips parted as he rolled his eyes.

"Not a demon, Sammy!" He groaned and put his hands down on the table. "Look, I know it's totally out of character…"

"Yeah, like Invasion of the Body Snatchers kind of out of character, Dean." Sam replied and watched as his brother raised his hand.

"Wanna let me explain?" Dean waited as Sam sighed and sat back, gesturing to him that he had the floor. Dean turned back to me and took a breath. "I know you're not a witch, Ali. Come on, you may have known what the hex bags were for but a witch would have known to never open something crafted by another witch, and the rings, basic sigils for possession, granted the fact that you knew it right off the bat kind of made me wonder but I already told you, you're not a monster."

"Okay, the wards?" I questioned and Dean sat back.

"That one kind of threw me off but when you told me about your research, I assumed you might have come across something in the lore," he shrugged, but I couldn't just let it slide, Dean was letting me off way too easy, until he turned to Danni. "Now you, I don't care what anyone says, you're a badass woman and a hell of a hunter, but you're no witch. You're Ali's other half, sure but Glenda, not a chance in hell."

"So, you're saying I'm not witchy enough to be a witch?" Danni questioned and this made me smile.

"No, you're not evil enough," and that was the moment I knew that there was no way to convince him otherwise that I had been or would ever become a monster, but the memories still haunted me, the ones that I hadn't told anyone yet. "Danni, no matter what, you and Ali will always be protected by us, nothing will stand between us and your safety, I don't care what kind of deal Crowley made up thirty years ago with a coven that doesn't exist."

"I just want to know about our bloodline," I whispered and watched as eyes turned to me as I looked up, focusing on Danni, "how exactly are we related?"

"I knew it was too much of a coincidence will all the similarities not to be." She smiled, but I knew it was a good thing, even Sam gave a little grin.

"So, witch crisis averted, right?" I reached out and took Dean's hand. "I mean, you aren't planning on using those bullets at any point in time, are you?"

"Only the vampire ones, baby." He winked and I closed my eyes. Danni laughed, she knew how much I hated that name.

"Please don't call me that," I sighed and watched Dean's grin grow. Oh no, something he could use against me and I closed my eyes. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

I shook my head and went back to eating, trying to ignore the glances of the green-eyed man next to me.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Danni and Dean had slipped out the door, moving down to tend to the bonfire that still blazed in the field beyond where we could really see. It had been quiet for hours, neither one of them re-entering the building, of course Sam and I had our own plans, which included relaxing and apparently, the back seat of the Impala, but it wasn't what it sounded like.

The windows were rolled down, and I sat staring up at the fluorescent lights, trying to think about absolutely nothing except the way my fingers felt running through Sam's brown locks, and the gentleness of his touch as he played with the fingers of my free hand. It wasn't that we were bored, I mean there were always plenty of things for us to do, but the two of us ended up sliding into the car, and casually decided that this was how it was going to be.

We had a comfortable silence going, no need to say anything to one another as he lay with his head on my lap, sock clad feet planted against the seat as he pulled his knees up, which to me looked completely uncomfortable but since he hadn't moved them in order to find another way to stretch out, my thoughts were that he was lying just the way he liked. I had my legs stretched out in front of me, feet crossed at the ankles and my head back on against the black interior, just staring away.

I heard him laugh, or sort of laugh, kind of like a few little huffs as he traced my fingers with one hand, while using the other to hold it up. I looked down at him, raked my hand through his hair once more and I noticed the smile on his lips, no teeth, just a simple grin and his blue-green eyes went from my fingers up to lock on mine.

"What's so funny?" I whispered, trying not to break that feeling of serenity.

"You don't find this odd that we can sit in a car, in the middle of a garage and just...I don't know, veg?" He shrugged and his eyes rested once again on the hand he was playing with.

"I don't see why we should find anything that we do odd at all," I answered and turned back to the window, "look at our life this week, I think we've earned a bit of a reprieve, besides, if we chance it, and walk out there, you never know how much of your brother or Danni we might happen to walk in on."

"Yeah, so locking ourselves in the backseat of a car is absolutely the best idea we can come up with." He laughed, a little louder this time.

"What's the matter? Is it giving you too much time to let that mind of yours do some dirty thinking?" I grinned and looked down at him. Sam turned his head, locking his stare on me and suddenly he was turning around. He propped himself up, one hand pressed against the seat on the other side of my legs as an anchor so he could lean in on me. His lips inches from mine. "See, I knew you had something brewing in that genius brain of yours."

"Actually, I was enjoying our quiet time," he grinned and reached out, brushing the skin that my scoop-neck shirt exposed, "but now that you brought it up," he kissed me softly, "a little foreplay could be fun."

"Foreplay? You know that's not what's going to happen, right?" I giggled as he slipped his hand behind my back and pulled me too him, adjusting himself and me until I was lying the full length of the seat and he towered above me. "It will go so much further than that."

"Not if we stay in control," he whispered as he leaned down and I closed my eyes, feeling his lips against my neck.

"I am so not the one who has an issue with control," I smiled, tangling my fingers into that unruly hair of his as he nipped at my skin.

"Um-hmm, you are a perfect model of self-control," he mumbled against me, his warm breath making my skin tingle and I couldn't deny the sound that left my throat as I bared more of it for him. "See, you're in total control."

A loud crash in the loft brought Sam away from me, not fully but enough so I could see his face, and the way his eyes darkened at the sudden intrusion. We never heard Dean or Danni enter the garage. They were quiet but not enough so that they would have made it up the steps without making a noise.

Something inside me started to shiver before it reached a visible level, like I could feel the evil close by and Sam sat back, putting his feet on the floor of the car as I sat up, both of us looking up into the darkness of the loft.

I saw him grab the gun that he had placed on the back deck of the car and he glanced at me, using that awesome nonverbal communication that I was so getting used to, but I rolled my eyes as his narrowed at me.

Sure, I'll stay here like a helpless damsel while you go check for bad guys, Sam, great plan! Didn't he know that was how bad things happened? I mean even I watched horror movies, hell, even Scooby Doo didn't split up completely, there was always a partner involved.

Okay, so maybe I was feeling a little left behind as Sam got out of the car, his gun at the ready as he raised a finger to his lips as if to shush me.

Dude, I didn't say anything, and didn't intend to, I knew the rules!

At least that was what my face screamed at him, but he just kept right on heading towards the stairway.

Bad idea, Sam, bad idea!

Ugh, this wasn't making me feel any better.

I watched as he went up, just a little and that was when I had it, there was no way I was going to sit there and let him get hurt. I jumped over the seat, watching him move up a few steps, and popped open the glove compartment. I raised my brows… gotta love Dean! I smiled and pulled the small Walther, his backup gun, from its hiding spot.

I checked the mag, clicked back the slide, and made sure the safety was on before I slid it in the back of my jeans and climbed out of the car, making sure I used the window and not the squeaking door. Sam was gone from sight, and as silent as death, probably the wrong choice of words but if I had said the night, then he would have actually been making a lot of noise, but as it was, there was nothing, not even the sound of his light steps on the floor above me as approached the stairway.

Gun drawn now, I took a breath, clicked off the safety and put one bare foot on the wood. It wasn't the most pleasant feeling, rough untreated wood beneath my toes, but that was the least of my problems. I stepped with my left, placing it on the first step, and crossed over with my right, placing it as softly as possible on the one right above it. It was almost a dance, but for me it was a perfect way for me to keep my balance, and be as silent as possible at the same time.

When I topped the stairs, I ducked down low, hoping to see around everything that was up on boxes. There were old desks, some tables, chairs and other things that acted as if they were shelves for whatever Charlie had stored up there, but there was nothing to see around. Even when I got close enough to see underneath some of the items, there were more boxes in the way. I rolled my eyes and knew that that there was something wrong.

I wanted to reach into my pocket and grab my phone, something that I could have used to contact Dean to let him know that there was something up, but then I remembered, the screen was cracked and there would be more of chance of me getting out a text message before the whole building collapsed during an earthquake, which would never happen, than right when I needed to, which was right now. (Did that even make any sense, maybe my brain wasn't working, instinct had kicked in.) Either way, there was no chance in hell I was getting anything to Dean.

With a deep breath, I stepped into the darkness, back to the wall where nothing could sneak up behind me and I moved in that exact pattern. Around the boxes and aware of everything within eye shot, I focused on spots where the moose of a man might be able to hide. It was then that I saw him, or at least his socks, lying in an odd position on the floor in a corner, his gun not too far from where I spotted him and quickly I moved to where he was.

Not wanting to leave myself open for anything, I moved up behind Sam as he lay on his side, eyes closed and as still as death, (and there was that word again) but when I reached down, the gun still up and aimed at whatever might move, my fingers found his pulse and I dared to let out a sigh. His hair, from where I moved it away from his forehead, was dark and coated in warm blood, the copper scent in the air, and I slowly stood.

My body shook with anticipation as I stared into the darkness. There was a reason he was back here, one that should have had me running for the hills, but instead I stood over him, like a wolf over its mate and there was no way I was moving from that spot, not unless by force. It was then that I remembered that Sam had his cell on him. Reaching down in his pocket, I tried to search for the phone, but the damn thing was caught, and for some reason wouldn't move from his big, dumb pocket.

The silence was starting to become deafening and if you had never experienced it before, it was almost painful, everything outside you was still and you could hear a pin drop, but inside your own body, because there was nothing else for your brain to focus on, you would start to hear the whoosh of your own blood, the thump of your heart and it became so loud that it turned into physical pain.

That was where I was right now. My heart beat hard against my chest, as if it were about to explode through my ribs and I knew that my anxiety was on the verge of sending me into a fight or flight mode that I wasn't going to come down from for days. It was then that my mind kicked into overdrive, letting me know the laundry list of things that I hadn't gotten to do, or had forgotten to… like did I call my kids, did I tell them that I loved them, would I ever get the chance?

Would I ever be able to admit to Sam how I really felt, or even tell Dean that despite all of his arrogant reckless protectiveness, I needed his touch as much as he needed mine? Would I ever be able to tell Danni that there were so many more adventures that I couldn't wait to go on with her, even if it meant that pain in the ass Winchester would never leave our sides? And Vancouver and New Orleans?

I was afraid, more than I had ever been in my life, more than when the vampire attacked when I was a kid, more than when the woman with the red eyes approached, and even more afraid than that second in time when I saw a man come crashing through my window.

That was it! That was the moment, the one memory that sent me into motion. Sam had been trying to protect me that night, lead it away and now it was coming back… it was back… _for me_.

"Okay, you fanged son of a bitch, I'm done playing games!" I snapped, my voice low and purposely quiet, because I was trying to hear where the attack might come from. "You want me, come and get me. I'm done playing."

I never heard it coming, thought I had all my bases covered, but I was wrong. Dead wrong!

I don't remember what happened after the words, don't remember the lights going out on my little hero parade, but as I came too, I definitely remembered the pain. Something had made my world go dark and by the small electric shocks that were zipping around the back of my head, my guess would be that something had taken a swing.

It took a minute to focus in the dark, a moment more to get my bearings as I looked around the room. Things were hazy, black and white, and nearly out of focus but I could make out shapes. Broken windows, old gurneys that were overturned, and papers crowded the floors within my line of sight. I shifted on the cold tile floor, my hands were loose which surprised me because you would have thought someone would have tied me up.

I managed to push up to a sitting position, even as my head throbbed in protest and I nearly passed out again from the head rush. I know I moaned as I leaned back against the cold surface behind me, which I assumed was a wall of some sort and pushed down with my hands to help sit up straighter, but glass dug into my palms, making the blood that was already coating them run warm.

Great, when I get out of here I'm going to need a tetanus shot.

I managed to brush the blood from my hands, and picked out the little piece of glass that stuck to them without issue. The problem wasn't that it was dark, because there was enough light in there for me to make out everything, it was that I was completely alone in the dark without a weapon and no real sense of direction.

I ran my hand over my head, now that the threat of putting glass in whatever damage was done back there was over, and felt the thick matte of hair that was clumped together from the dried blood, and the ache of the bump underneath it. Whatever had gotten me hadn't been very close when it swung or there would have been more damage, and as it was, I think that all I had was a small egg and the possibility of a little bit of a split. Head wounds always bled more.

This thought made me think of Sam and the blood he had on his forehead. With a wince, and yet another turn of my stomach, I managed to get to my feet with a bit of effort. Once stable enough to move, I found that the little bit of light that was allowing me to see was coming from a source down the hallway, just outside the room I had been dumped in.

Taking a glance back at the four walls, I realized that I could almost see the light of a fire some ways down the road. I knew at that moment exactly where the hell I was. Turning towards the hall once more, I slowly made my way out into the debris-covered floors. At least the glass wasn't coating the room like it had been before. This time it was just papers, old mattresses, and some wheelchairs. Basically, it looked like people had grabbed and ran when they closed this place down.

Danni had said it was an old institution, and I remembered wanting to see it when we talked about it on the phone. I really wish I had been more specific when told her that I wanted to see it from the road and _NOT_ from the inside of the scary ass abandoned building.

Left, or right? Wasn't that always the question? Which way would make it easier to find Sam? My guess would have been to follow the light source, hope to God or Chuck or whoever was listening that it leads me straight to him, and we would be able to blow this popsicle stand without much of a fight, but something deep inside me gave me the impression that there was no way this was going down easy.

So, right it was, and apparently _right_ into the belly of the beast.

It must have been the blow to the head, or the fact that it was nearly dark and blinding in the building, but the hallway seemed to get longer the further I walked, that and I'm pretty sure my bare feet were frozen by the time I got halfway but I pushed on. I know it was getting lighter, and I know I was getting closer but there still was very little sound coming from anywhere in the building.

Why couldn't this be an episode of Supernatural? Sam and Dean rush in, gank the bad guys, save the girl and have a few beers, yep that would be ideal but apparently, my real-life adventures trumped the show's in one aspect. That would be how long it actually took to get to the exciting parts.

Just before reaching the busted, swinging doors, my luck held up and I found a broken chair, broken enough to give up one of its legs. With both hands, I wrapped my fingers around it, put my iced feet against the rest of the dilapidated seat, and pulled, twisting the mangled leg free, it was kind enough to even give me a nice, sharp, pointed end. Holding onto it like a bat, I slipped through the space between the two doors, small enough to keep the light in but wide enough for me to squeeze through without catching it or making any noise.

The room was large, probably would have been considered a meeting room back in the day, but at the moment, it only held a few things, a large spotlight, a chair and Sam, who was tied to said chair under the heat of the lamp. His head was down, his hands and ankles tied to the arms and legs of the chair and even though I couldn't see the movement, I could hear the sound of his breaths as he struggled to take in a deep one with the position he was in.

Glancing around at the shadows, I began to move further into the room, twisting my hands around the cold metal of my makeshift weapon. I inched closer, wanting just to rush to him, but with the knowledge that he was breathing, I knew that I needed to take my time, watch my back and hopefully get us both out of here alive.

The noise behind me stopped me dead in my tracks, took my plan and all but tossed it out the nearest broken window, because it was the squeak of that door that had me planted firmly on the ground. I knew I shouldn't have bothered, because I knew what was coming up, but I had to turn anyway. Slowly, bat raised, I pivoted on what I could imagine were blue toes and looked at the silhouette that stood against the white door.

It wore a black hood, pulled low on its face, but still there was something about it that made me feel a familiar fear, and I watched as it took a step forward. I didn't move, which I guess it had expected me to do because it laughed, I mean a mostly human laugh but you couldn't hide the monster underneath it well enough to make me think this was just some punk-ass kid.

It stopped, maybe ten feet from me and reached up slowly, pulling the hood from its head. That was when I saw it, the one thing that every monster in my life had become after that night, the face of the one that bit me, the fanged beast of my nightmares. And it was standing right in front of me.

I swallowed hard, staring into its dead black eyes, as the smile creeped up on its face, its hands coming to rest in front of it, as if it were standing at attention, or more at ease but either way, it was looking at me like I was finally dinner.

"You've grown up," it spoke softly, as if it were amazed at what I had become, but I didn't answer, didn't care to. "I was afraid that what I did was permanent, but I can see that you healed rather quickly, or at least that was what I had heard, to actually see it amazes me."

"The damage you did?" I questioned and watched it grin. "You mean to my sanity or just the damage in general?"

"To your arm, Alison," it answered, "I never meant to make you doubt your sanity, I only meant to mark you."

"Why?" Yeah, why was I even standing here having a conversation with the thing nightmares are born from, and why the hell wasn't I more scared? I listened to it chuckled. Great, you dumbass, get a good laugh in because I swear… and that was when it hit me. I wasn't scared anymore, not of monsters, not of vampires, and certainly not of this ass clown because in the last few days I had faced my fears and come to the conclusion that nothing was beyond my reach, including taking care of this sick son of a bitch. "Why did you want to mark me?"

"Because, I wanted you," it shrugged. "You see I knew what you were long before you did. The descendent of a bloodline that could stop the coming of royalty."

"I'm sorry," not really, but I was a bit confused, "what?"

"Crowley's little plan for you," it stepped closer and I tightened my hand around the bat. My reaction seemed to get more of a smile from it. "Oh, so you still don't know the whole deal. That was what I thought. You see I've been watching you for a while now," it stopped and suddenly reached out, like lightning, and knocked the bat from my hand before wrapping its long fingers around my throat. I was at full attention now, but it only gave a little squeeze, not enough to kill me, just enough for me to know it could. "Watching you with your children, with your little job, and I realized, you have no clue, do you, at least you didn't until you met them, the hunters.

"Your monologue is riveting, a real attention getter," my mouth spoke before my brain could tell it to shut up, "but wanna get to the point?"

"You and your _sister_ are the only ones that can kill the Princes of Hell." It grinned widely, especially at my reaction. Shock took over as I recognized the storyline, at least where the princes were concerned. This was new, Season twelve new, while everything else seemed to be thrown off, but thirty years in the making for a storyline that was up-to-date. What the hell was going on? Sam was the one who killed Ramiel, _SAM_ not me, so how was it possible that Danni and I were the only ones who could? "I see that mind of yours working, but there's no real answers to your questions. This isn't your television show, things just don't work like that, you know, scripted to play out just the way the writers wanted."

"So, what's your deal on it? What do you get from following me around my whole life, marking me?" I felt the long tips of its dirty fingers digging into my flesh as its fangs sprouted forward, giving me a view of that deadly grin.

"At first I was going to kill you, suck you both dry and dump your bodies, because Crowley needs you for it to work, both of you. All I need is one." With that it lunged forward, sinking its teeth down into the soft flesh of my neck and I screamed.

It was a white-hot pain when they ripped through and the noise that escaped me, as I pushed against it with everything I had, echoed through the empty building. That silence that I had felt before, the deafening noise of my own heartbeat, the sound of my blood pumping out of my veins and into its greedy, sucking mouth, came to me. Just as my vision blurred, it released me, hands and all, which sent me tumbling back on the hard floor.

It was then that I noticed the figures that had filled the room. In that few minutes of mindless rambling, the vampire had managed to collect what was left of its nest, only seven others but enough to give me an issue, especially with the blood loss.

I moved across the floor slowly, sliding the best I could on hands and knees because standing up would have only put me back on the floor again from the sudden head rush. I could hear it laughing at me as I finally got to Sam, reaching out with numbing hands that felt thick and useless as I tried to untie the ropes.

It was no use, I couldn't get these clumsy fingers to do anything but feel, and I stopped the instant I touched his leg. Looking up at the head of hair that hung limp above me, I could almost see the color of his eyes. He was awake, and waiting just as I slid my hand up into the leg of his jeans, I saw those eyes narrow and I know he wanted to shake his head.

I coughed, making a racket as my hand touched the cold, hardened handle of the boot knife sheath, and I released the snap, letting it slide down into my hand. As it came down, I was able to slice the rope enough so that one good kick of his leg and he would be loose but that didn't do him any good if the rest of him was still tied up.

I felt cold hands on the flesh of my ankles and suddenly I was ripped back from Sam, hand still wrapped tightly against the hilt of the blade. I turned over as the monster pinned me against the hard floor, its hands reaching for my neck once again, but I held back on the knife, tucking it under me as I waited for it to get close enough.

I knew it was going to bite again, I could see the blood-stained teeth coming at me even as it held my head to the side. Closer… just a little closer… that was all I needed, just to feel it's breath against my skin, the putrid stink of old blood and I drove the tip of the blade upwards, hard and swiftly. I felt it pierce the skin, slide in through guts and muscle and I ripped it back out to do it all over again. The vampires in the background began to howl as I went for a third. This time I was able to use all of what I had left to push the monster off me.

It rolled and I felt the weight lift, but I needed to move too, needed to be able to save my own ass for a change and I managed to make it onto my stomach before I noticed that Sam had become fully animated, pulling at the ropes that held him by straining upwards against them and the metal that held him groaned.

I felt my feet slip on the blood coated floor before I got enough footing to make it to the chair. My brain was screaming at me, worried about the fact that the blood on the floor was mixing in with the cuts that graced the bottom of my soles.

Sam looked up at me as I braced the edge of the knife along the thickness of the rope and began to saw against it. He looked around, impatiently at the vampires as they slowly closed in. What the hell was going on, why weren't they attacking? I just stabbed their sire, who was lying still not more than five feet away but I knew he wasn't dead.

"Ali," Sam whispered stressing the need to move faster.

"I'm trying not to cut you, this has vamp blood on it, Winchester! I don't need you fanging out." I snapped back and finally frayed the rope enough for him to break free. Together we made quick work of the other one, the knife still in my hand as he got to his feet, pulling me along with him. "I'm bleeding out, there's no way I can take any of them."

"Just stay close by, lean on me," he ordered, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"You're not going to be able to kill the bad guys with me leaching onto you," I answered, pushing away, and a wave of dizziness took over. That was great, perfect timing for Sam to get his point across. I was useless. "Your phone! Give me your phone!"

He fished it from his pockets as he looked around at the vampires that were closing the distance and slapped it down in my waiting palm, to which I did the same with the knife, he was better with it anyway. I struggled with cold fingers to get the screen to unlock and hit the last contact made, which, of course was his brother.

It rang only twice before that deep, protective and probably very pissed off voice came over the line. "Sammy?"

"Dean," I whispered back pressing it to my ear.

"Ali, where the hell are you?"

"The abandoned hospital," I groaned as Sam released me, swinging at the monster over my head and I found myself sitting on my ass on the floor. "We're, ah…" I glanced around trying to find a location. There in the corner, just beyond the light was two, large, black identifying marks. "C-4. We're on the third floor, looks like a meeting hall, cafeteria?"

"Yeah, I got you, we're coming up the second flight of stairs."

"Dean, you have to hurry, we're outnumbered and outgunned, in fact we're no gunned and I'm bleeding." I snapped, and the phone started to weigh more than I could hold. "Dean!"

"I'm coming Ali, just hold on." The line went dead, which was good because I didn't have it in me to hold onto it anymore.

The device clanked against the floor and I looked up just in time to see the monster coming at me. Its hands grabbed me by the waist, pulling me under it once again, and this time I didn't have the strength to fight it off.

I closed my eyes as it's hand wrapped around my neck once more, forcing my head to the side as I waited for that bite, that feeling of white-hot pain, but nothing came. At that moment, the doors burst open, the sound of boots hitting the linoleum floor filled my ears and the monster moved off me once more. I couldn't move, gasped for breath but felt arms around me, tugging me up to sit against the warmth of a body.

In my vision, with what I could made out as it started to fade, I knew that Sam had a machete, and was swinging with everything he had. I could see Dean's strokes as he moved, almost like a dancer in a well-choreographed play. They were naturals, working together, shifting as the other one turned and before we knew it, the room had filled with silence once again, silent save for one thing.

The growing laughter of the monster that stood over me and Danni, the one body not on the floor, the one safe person tucked up behind me, holding me upright as I stared at it, blood dripping down its chin. Even in Danni's hold, with the strength of her arms, it wasn't enough to keep it from yanking me to my feet, my shirt clutched in its hands and it pulled me towards its face.

"You!" It snarled, "You brought this death to my family!"

"No," I said weakly, but smiled nonetheless, "you brought _me_ to your family, and sentenced them all to die. This is on you, because you couldn't just leave it well enough alone."

"It doesn't matter," it smiled insanely, as if every ounce of reason had left its mind. I felt the tug on the back of my shirt, the cold metal of a gun pressing against the palm of my hand as I reached back, thinking Danni was going to take it, but I let my fingers wrap around the grip, felt the weight of it and gave a slight adjustment so that my fingers lay just above the trigger. "Crowley will never get what he wants because I'm going to take you to hell with me, even if I have to die to do it."

It lunged forward, its teeth scraping against the same wound it had inflicted earlier and I flinched but only enough so it thought I was afraid, even as I brought the barrel up and rested it against its heart. It pulled back, looked me in the eyes and snarled.

"Oh, you're going to die, alright, but I'll be damned if you're dragging me with you," I whispered and squeezed the trigger. The sound made everyone in the building jump, and I felt the release as it started to back away, its hand moving and I stumbled, not realizing just how much it had been holding me up.

When it faltered over its own feet, when it swayed as the blood drained from the knife wound and the wooden bullet that pierced its heart, I raised the gun once more.

"Give Purgatory my regards, because hell is too good for you!" I whispered and watched its eyes grow large, just as I fired off another shot. I watched it leave the gun, watched it sail through the air and penetrate the spot right between its eyes. I saw it move, the body sway once more, but it didn't have a chance to do much more as the end of a sharpened blade seemed to float through the flesh of its neck.

The body separated, as it seemed to always do, the head one way, the torso the other and I let the weight of the gun become my anchor as I went down to my knees.

Dean stood behind it, blade in hand, dripping with the vampire blood. His chest heaving with the exertion of the fight, but the hate and anger in his eyes faded as he looked down at me, coming quickly forward as I began to slump. My world turning towards the darkness.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

I felt the pressure against my neck and something coarse, some sort of material, but I couldn't seem to climb out of the black hole that I was in, no matter how much I scratched and clawed. Sam cradled me against him, I could feel his hands, his fingers pressing down on the cloth, holding it against the seeping wound. Danni's hands were on the rest of me, checking the palms of my hands, the cuts on my feet, but it was Dean's hands that cupped my cheeks.

I could smell the copper scent of blood, the hint of the fire that he and Danni had been in front of and everything that made him just who he was, a knight in cotton plaid, but as much as I wanted to reach out and comfort them both, there was no way to accomplish it. The light at the end of the tunnel was fading, that one small pinprick of light that I was striving to reach was gone and the world around me faded into something else.

I heard the flutter of wings, the sound of the birds around me and when I opened my eyes, I stood in the same wide open field that I had before, the one with the single park bench and I smiled. This must be my heaven, funny, I never really pictured myself as someone that would want to be stuck in an everlasting, perfect spring day, but then again, I never pictured myself as someone who could fire a gun through the skull of a vampire either.

As I turned, I noticed the birds that flew over heard, the sounds of the squirrels in the trees and smiled at the symbolism, I half expected to see a moose as well but nothing bound from the tree line. I moved once more, this time towards that bench and sat down, my hands folded in front of me, my elbows on my knees and I drank in the warmth of the sun, at least until I felt the presence beside me and I sat back, glancing over at the black-haired man.

"You said that you would be there for me," I stated, not making a big deal out of the fact that I was pretty sure I had died.

Castiel sighed, his hands resting on his lap as he looked up at the blue sky. "Even the most well laid plans can crumble."

"Bullshit!" I rolled my eyes and looked over at him. Cas clenched his teeth and turned towards me, looking me over. "You can't tell me that in all this time you haven't bent the rules of the plan just a little, say for someone like Dean… or Sam, hell I'm pretty sure you're bending them for John right now."

"John Winchester…" he started but stopped himself as he shook his head. "Why are you so concerned with John?"

"Because in my life, he's the part of the puzzle that's out of place, and call me curious but I want to know why." I shrugged and crossed my arms, stretching my legs out to let them warm up, hoping to get rid of the cold feeling that was creeping up them. "In my reality, John sacrificed himself for Dean, he went to hell, and he came back only to tell him how proud he was before floating off to heaven, so having John up and moving about is really starting to throw off my game."

"There's a lot about this timeline, about this Sam and Dean that isn't like your boys." Cas replied.

"That's just it, these two, the ones out there in the real world, the ones holding my body, those are MY boys now. The others are just Sam and Dean from the show, these two, with all their scars and their darkness, they are mine, Cas, just like you." He stood, taking a few steps from the bench and then turned to face me. "Wanna tell me why you weren't there, why I'm probably lying dead in the arms of a man I love, while the other one falls apart, while my sister is mourning the loss of yet another loved one? Why didn't you come to save me?"

"You didn't ask," he whispered and stretched out a hand to me. I shook my head, pretty pissed off and irritated that he was so blunt about it, but I reached out and took hold of his outstretched hand. With a sigh, I stood and darkness closed in once again.

The warmth hit my face, but it was still only blackness, I could almost feel my toes, which was probably a good thing since the last I knew they were frozen solid, and I know that there wasn't a hard, concrete floor beneath me anymore but a bed.

I could hear breathing, uneven, shuddered breaths beside me and I wanted so desperately to open my eyes and take the hand of the man who sat there.

"Dean," Sam's soft voice whispered and the breathing changed. "It's been four hours, why don't you get some sleep? I'll stay with her."

"I can't," he answered, his voice full of emotion. "I can't do it, Sammy, I can't leave her."

"She's not going anywhere," Sam reassured him and I could hear the emotions bubbling in his voice too, but he was trying to be strong for Dean, trying and failing.

"I promised to protect her, I swore that no matter what she did, I was going to keep her safe, and I failed… I failed at the one thing that I was supposed to do." Dean's voice quivered as he sniffled. "She told me to protect Danni first, and I did, Sammy, I did everything I could to protect Danni, but I let her go, I let this happen to her."

"You didn't," Sam sighed, and I felt the bed shift with his weight. His hand came down on my leg, which told me that Dean was up by my head, leaning in staring at me. "Listen, Dean, I shouldn't have left her alone, I should have stayed with her, this is my fault."

Oh, how I wish I could open my eyes and look at them, and probably knock their heads together with a few bats...maybe a couple wrapped with barbed wire. Yeah, these two were just going to beat themselves up about something that just couldn't be controlled.

"Have you tried Cas?" Sam whispered. Yes! That was a perfect idea, since I had just left the winged pain in the ass.

Dean sighed, "about six times now."

"Try again," Danni spoke up, entering the room, or I assumed she entered since I was still lying there unable to move about. "He promised he would help, but you don't have faith in him that you should, maybe that's why it's not working. I don't know what happened between you and him, Dean, and I don't care, but you try and call him again, because that is what Ali would want you to do."

"Fine," he snapped, and I listened as the fight went out of him. "Cas?" He started, then cleared his throat, "oh, Castiel, angel of the Lord, we call on you to come and help out Ali in our time of need." There was a pause, and oh how I wanted to smile because I was sure that he had just popped one eye open to look around. "Come on, Cas, stop being a dick and…"

The flutter of wings invaded the space around me and I knew the room we were in was small, and getting more crowded by the minute as one more person, angel, appeared.

"Hello Dean," Cas' voice shook me every time I heard it, but this time there was more emotion in it.

"Really, six...seven times of calling you and you're going with hello?" Dean questioned, and I felt the air move as he rose. "Where the hell have you been, man? I... we've been worried sick!"

"I'm sorry, but other things have been a priority."

"A priority, bigger than Ali, bigger than the promise you made to be there for her?"

"I was there," he answered and heard him come closer.

Sam stood, moved and the bed shifted again, this time an arm came across me, and I could almost feel the weight of the body that hovered above. The tips of two soft fingers pressed against my forehead and I waited. Suddenly, like someone had tossed me in an oven and cracked the heat, fire spread through every nerve, coursing through every vein and I clenched my teeth as I felt the skin around the hole that the vamp's teeth made begin to close.

It was agonizing, and something worse than childbirth but I endured it even while I was screaming inside. When the fire subsided, when the pain faded away, I was able to open my eyes, and I did so with dramatic flair, opened them wide and drew in a deep breath, arching up against Cas' fingers as I did so before I lay back on the bed and tried to catch said breath.

I swallowed hard and looked around, at the worried and shocked faces of the three in the room before my eyes settled on Castiel's. The angel smiled, ran those two fingers down along my cheek before he released me and back away. Dean crowded the bed, his eyes scanning mine as he lifted away the bandage, and I watched as his gaze snapped up towards Sam, who came over and looked down at the wound as well.

"It's gone," he whispered, meeting Danni's eyes as Dean leaned down and kissed me on the forehead, his hand pressing back my hair. Dean back away as Sam came forward, kissing me lightly on the lips as he smiled, and then made room for Danni, who had a pissed off look on her face. "Cas," Sam stopped, which caught everyone's attention and Danni backed away, letting me see that once again, the room only held the four of us. "Well, thank you wherever the hell you went."

"I think he went back to your dad," I answered, and all three sets of eyes rested on mine. "Cas is protecting him, like he promised he would do."

"How do you know? And how does that make it any better that he practically let you die?" Dean questioned and I couldn't help the smile that formed on my lips. "What the hell, Ali?"

"He didn't almost let me anything, Dean. He took me somewhere safe, he healed what he could there, repaired what he couldn't here." I whispered and I knew what I said sounded absolutely insane, not exactly sure about how I knew why we were at the park in my mind but I did know one thing, everything, every little spot of darkness that I had ever thought I held inside me was gone. Cas did that. "He brought me back here, and waited for you to do the one thing you needed to."

"Yeah, and what was that? Kick his ass?" Dean growled and I watched the confused but angered expression on his face.

"Ask for help," I grinned and glanced over at Sam, who was also smiling. "Cas loves you, Dean, just like he loves Sam and he was just waiting for you to ask for help instead of demanding answers all the time." I slowly sat up, letting Danni help me to move back against the headboard. "And stop kicking yourself, no matter what you thought you could have done to protect me, you really couldn't. We would have ended up in the same spot no matter which way the coin dropped."

"You're not going to make this easy, are you?" Dean sighed.

"What? Easy for you to kick yourself down, no way in hell!" I reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him down to the bed. When he was close enough, I brushed my fingers along the scar on his cheek. "You've done enough kicking to last a lifetime, Dean, both of you have, but you have to understand that there are just some things you can't control, Winchester or not."

"God, where did you come from?" He smiled and moved forward, kissing me on the forehead before he gave Danni a quick kiss on the lips and disappeared from the room.

"You scared the hell out of him," she smiled but watched after him as he turned the corner toward the kitchen.

"Hey, how did you know where we were?" I asked and watched as Sam sat down on the end of the bed, also looking at Danni for the answer to this.

"Dean's a genius, he just doesn't like to show it." She winked and took a breath. "We were headed back into the garage, the fire was dying down, the wind was picking up but when we got there, you were both gone. We searched every spot we could think of to find you but you weren't there and Dean started to freak out, until he remembered the GPS locator on Sam's phone." I rolled my eyes and smiled as I watched Sam shake his. "We followed you straight to the hospital, but Dean didn't want to call, not if it meant that it would put you in harm's way in case you were hiding, so we waited until you called, by then we were already up the stairs."

Danni stood, kissed me on the top of the head, not that I was understanding the reasoning behind it, since Dean had started it and now Danni was doing it, but she got up after that and quietly left the room, probably to go and track down her Winchester.

Sam moved, crawling up to lay against the wall as he pulled me close. Finally, a bed to share, at least for a little while. He snuggled down so he was lying flat, his feet hanging off the end of the full-sized bed and his arm curled under me, rolling me so my head lay tucked up against his chest. His cheek was against me and I felt him smile, the way his cheeks turned up.

"You smell like Dean." He joked and I poked him in the side with my knuckles.

"You smell like heaven." I replied and turned my face up so that his lips were a breath from mine. "If heaven was a man that I could keep forever."

"We already talked about that, and you said there were two choices, follow you home, or go with my brother in order to keep you safe." He sighed, turned more towards his side so he wasn't craning his neck and his hand ghosted down my cheek. "Can't I have both?"

"I love you, Sam." I whispered, not holding back any more, not letting something like death, or a vampire stop me from feeling. I told him how I felt and I didn't care if he felt the same or not, I needed to follow my heart.

"I love you too, Ali," he said sweetly, softly as his lips brushed mine before he back away and drew in a deep breath. "So, what do we do now?"

"Same plan as before," I closed my eyes, curling every part of me against him that I could. "I have to go home to my kids, you have to follow your path," I turned my head up towards him and watched as his eye landed on him. "No matter what, those paths will always lead us back to each other, just like it led us here."

"Gag!" Dean's voice interrupted and I turned on the bed to look at him as he stood in the doorway, leaning against as he crossed his arms. "You two really need some quality alone time, but…" he entered the room and sat down on the bed behind my knees, "not right now, burgers are cooking, let's go!"

"Where are we going, Dean?" I sighed as he smacked me on the ass and wiggled his eyebrows.

"The grills on, and I'm starving and Danni said I couldn't eat until your happy ass was out there with us, so get up, change, do what you got to do but hurry up, because I'm famished!" He answered, stood and exited the room just as quickly as he came in.

"Okay," I smiled and Sam just shook his head.

I didn't think I would have an appetite, at least not after everything that had gone on, but Dean was a great cook, and apparently, as he told us several times a "master at the grill", and I found that I could handle eating two burgers. We sat around the table that the boys managed to set up and enjoyed a strange peace, one that I had only felt on and off for a few days, but it seemed to blanket everything right at that moment.

When things were done, when the boys had their beers and their laughs, when Danni and I had cleaned up what we could, because "cleaning the grill was a man's job", again according to Dean. I decided to wash up, knowing that for the moment, and no matter how much I thought otherwise it wouldn't leave that phrase, that I was safe.

Showered, changed and hair brushed out and back in a ponytail, I walked out into the sunny Oklahoma day, the sun assaulting my eyes as I blinked to adjust as I scanned for the bodies that had gone quiet. There was that moment, that flash of fear when I started looking for signs of monsters, but that was also when I spotted her, a little ways down the drive, leaning against the wooden fence, one leg up on the lower rung while her arms rested on the one above.

I walked over, taking my time, actually being able to enjoy the place that surrounded me for the first time, and I was saddened by the fact that this whole trip had come to this. This one short span of time when I wasn't the target for something that was out to get me was all I had to get things right. I stood close to her, smiling as the horses made their way by, in some game of chase they seemed to be the only ones playing and I looked at Danni, leaning on the fence as she did but with the opposite leg up.

I thought about what to say for a few minutes, trying to get the right words in my head together but there was just enough time to say screw it before I blurted something out.

"You doing okay?" Great, now I sounded like Dean!

Danni turned to me, a smile on her face but tears in her eyes and she shook her head. This would have been those "big hug" moments but the only thing I did was slide closer so our shoulders touched. She didn't move for the hug and I didn't seem to offer either so we sat there for a moment more and all I could picture was Sam and Dean with a beer in their hands, leaning against Baby.

"If I said yes, would you believe me?" She asked, and glanced over at me as I turned back to the field.

"Hmm, probably not," I shrugged and she smiled.

She sighed, took a moment to get her thoughts in order and the smile faded. "I lost my husband the other night, and I don't think it's really sunk in as much as it should, or maybe it's that Cas told me that he at least didn't have to endure whatever Azeel did to him that gives me a kind of comfort, but I know I should feel more, but right now I'm so numb," Danni admitted. "We weren't good for a while, and by that, I mean we had our issues, no matter how we played the cards in front of people, but there is no way I wanted to lose him, and certainly not like that."

I had nothing to say to that, I had never lost a spouse, at least not by death and the one I lost by divorce was still alive and being a pain in my ass, so it wasn't anywhere close to the same. She turned her head to me, wearing a frown.

"I have no idea what I feel or what to feel about Dean, or the fact that I've never been alone, I mean really alone. I've always had Wayne, always, and now I have no one, except a man that does...well, I'm not really sure what he does to me," she grinned, but again it faded. "He was supposed to be my hall pass, you know that one pass you got if he should ever happen to show up in your life, but really, the real Dean Winchester wasn't ever supposed to show up. What do I do with that, about how I feel about him, and what the hell does he feel for me? We're not like you and Sam, we've never really talked about it except that he can't keep his hands to himself."

"I think it's more than that, Dan," I whispered and let the little grin cross my face. "You don't see the way he looks at you, there is definitely something more there, but Dean just isn't good with his emotions, hell no one of us really are."

She nodded, and I didn't expect her to go on, but her eyes turned up to the sky and I watched as she narrowed them against the sunshine, letting the warmth of it fill her before she exhaled and brought her head down to look at her hands.

Very quietly, she continued, "I almost lost my sister last night," she sighed and I turned, my eyes meeting hers. "And by sister, I actually mean possibly related. What the hell is up with that?"

"Yeah, good stuff to know, right, I mean if you believe a couple demons and an angel." I smirked. "I knew everything was too weird not to have some connection. But hey, now we know why your mom said we look alike, we even have the same little smirk, you know when the corner of your mouth doesn't go all the way up."

"I noticed that too, but just thought it would be too odd to throw that on the fire." She grinned. "This week has probably been the weirdest, most exciting and emotional one in my life."

"Yeah and it all started at a waffle house at 8:43 at night. Damned Winchesters." I laughed.

"Sam really knocked on your door about a headlight?" I nodded, a smile wide on my face. "And, Dean, what was he like when you first met."

"Damn near intolerable, kind of like now." I was the one that looked away this time. "Dean was... intense, protective, bossy, but gentle in a way. His need for contact, touching, always touching…" My gaze found hers, "I'm sorry if he never stops, and I'm sorry to say that I can't make him. There's something there, between Dean and I, just a connection but nothing that will ever come between you and him."

"The problem isn't coming between me and him, it's getting between _you_ and him. He would stop a bullet for you."

"And I don't know why except that we're family, as much as that sounds like a corny excuse, he was the one who said it. I told him that you are priority one, nothing before you." I sighed and rubbed my hand across my lips, "he's mule-headed and irritating, but Danni, he only wants only you."

"I get that, I really do, and I'll get past the _need_ part of your connection, I will but it will take some time." Danni focused on the horses, the subject of Dean suddenly dropped because I knew her emotions were running high.

"Where are our boys anyway?"

"Watching us from the garage, or at least I assume that's what one of them is doing," I turned my sights to the house across the field and noticed the door open. "They're going to straighten it out, clean it up and bring Baby down here, oh and that arrived while you were Cas napping." She gestured to the car in the driveway, the small red one that was parked off to the side, thinking I hadn't caught her little poke at the angel, and I tilted my head at the car. "Dean says it's good as new."

"Huh," I shook my head and looked at her, "think I should look it over?"

Danni shrugged, "it runs, has all its tires and no vamp guts on it, but maybe you should check it for arrow scratches."

"As long as It gets me back so I can drop it off, I think I'm good." My eyes turned to the field, at a loss for word. There had been so much more I wanted to say to her, so much I wanted to apologize for but at that moment, I couldn't think of it, and I couldn't think of the right way to say it. So, I went with something else. "You know, we never really did play our Wednesday out, you know, the like rest of the days."

"Yeah, it was supposed to be a sit and relax kind of day before you headed back," I heard the sadness in her voice and that one statement sobered me up.

I was leaving in the morning, and I felt like the week with her hadn't even started. Sure, we were together all the time, we had our talks, we had our adventures, but we also had two things that we didn't expect to have. Sam and Dean. Our week had been used to explore the men who had fallen into our lives, or at least through my own window, and escape from our demons, which had left us with more questions than answers.

"So I was thinking," I spoke quietly and cleared my throat, "when I get back home, I think I'm going to dig a little deeper into Gram's side of the family, see just how 'darkside' the family lines goes and...ah, I was wondering if you could do the same."

"You want me to delve into a shady past where my grandmother was a witch and made a pact with a devil-horned crossroads demon?" She smiled at me and I gave her a small shrug.

"Yeah, kinda," I watched as her grin widened and she gave me a nod.

"All right, it might take a bit, it is on my Dad's side of the family."

"I'm sure whatever you get will help, I mean names and dates, hell, I'm sure I can figure out when and where from the information you have on when your family lived up there." Danni turned and looped her arm through mine as we left the fence and headed out past the house, walking through the open field. "What are you going to do with Wayne?"

"Dean's going to help me bury him later, I mean, you know, the ash and stuff," she whispered as we walked staring up at the sky. Her eyes brimmed with tears, which she quickly wiped away and cleared her throat.

We ventured on in silence, something easily slipped into when we were on the phone. Neither of us had to keep communicating, we just knew that the other one was still there, doing whatever it was we needed to do, so even now, while we walked together, so much left unsaid, we knew it was right.

Things had a way of coming full circle, any questions we needed answered would do so in their own time.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

I stepped out of the house, two beers in one hand, two sodas (both with whipped vodka) in the other, handed Danni her glass as she sat on Dean's lap, handed Dean's his as he tried to untangle his hand from her hair, which I assumed he was playing with, and he gave me a wink before I stepped by, sitting by Sam on the stairs to the deck.

The sun, still high enough in the sky, lit up the clouds with a pink hue, one that told me that tomorrow was going to be warm, a great day to drive, but in the same instance it reminded me of the woman who stood before the fire, the light from the flames glowing in her eyes and I shivered. Sam's hand rested on my leg, a touch that made me jump and I took a sip of the vodka and Coke before setting it down.

"Ali," he whispered, leaning close to my ear, "you okay?"

I smiled at him, putting on that fake charm and nodded. "Yeah, I guess I'm still jumpy, you know, waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"You might be like that for a while, kind of comes with the territory." Sam replied and his hand slipped around to rest against my neck and shoulders. "Don't worry," he winked, "I'll protect you."

 _Until tomorrow night, at least._ I thought to myself and bit down on my lip, nodding but I cleared my throat and stood. "Excuse me, I'll… I'll be right back."

My feet moved faster than my brain, bringing me right over to that same spot that Danni and I had stood at before and I drew in several deep breaths as I placed both hands on the wood, leaning my head down as I shut my eyes tightly.

A hand on the small of my back had me standing straight before I could think and I whirled in the direction it had come from, my hand instantly going for the Walther tucked in my belt, but I focused in on Danni as she stood with her hands up.

"Easy there, tiger," she laughed as I relaxed and dropped my arms to the side. "What's going on? You took off like a bat outta hell."

"Sam," I whispered, almost moaning his name. "I told Sam I loved him."

"And that's a bad thing because…?"

I struggled to find words, even form them in my head as the tears started to stream down my face. "Because in the same breath I told him that he had to stay with his brother."

"Oh, I see," she said softly.

"No, no, you don't not really, I mean, I know you understand but, Danni… God, what did I do?" I backed away from her, before turning and heading out further away from the house.

She followed me instinctually; probably more due to the fact that I had just gone toe-to-toe with a vampire than anything else but she was there, a couple well-placed paces behind just in case. I stopped dead, looking out into the fading light and though I knew there were things around me, I never saw a thing, just the memories of the past five days flying at me from every direction and I let the strength go out from my legs, sending me to the ground, where I sat back on my heels.

I heard her stop, not two steps behind me as I stared at nothing, breathing, or trying to breath as my mind focused on Sam. The way he felt, the sound of his voice, the smell of his skin and the way he kissed, demanding, claiming, and also soft and loving, as the tears flowed down my cheek.

I had allowed myself the one thing I swore I wouldn't do again, not after the train wreck that I had endured, not after so many heartbreaks. I had let him in, and it wasn't even intentional, wasn't planned, but there it was. Sam was ingrained so deeply in me that I would never be able to separate where one of us began and the other ended, but I couldn't keep him, not with any certainty. He was a hunter, born, trained and unable to change, and I knew this because there would be no way I could if I were him.

I was a gypsy in my own right, moving from place to place, never staying still but there was a difference between Sam and I, besides the whole "supernatural" aspect of our worlds, which apparently wasn't a difference at all, but I had children, and I had made them a promise.

A stupid, reckless, heartbreaking promise!

I wouldn't be with anyone, wouldn't bring someone home, _wouldn't_ involve my kids with any man until my youngest had graduated. Stupid right, but at the time I had made it, I was terrified, heartbroken and ready to swear off love forever because of the way that they had been treated, and the powers that be had heard me.

Until now.

Until Sam.

Now what do I do? My heart had been taken by a man who hunted monsters for Pete's sake and not just any man, but one that had started out as a doppelganger of the one I knew, or at least watched on a show that was produced somewhere in British Columbia. That one man had broken the barriers that I had put up to protect myself and his brother had helped.

"Ali," Danni whispered and I drew in a deep breath, my lungs shaking with emotion as I did but I didn't answer her. "Ali, you got to talk to me."

"I don't know what to say," I answered, and honestly it was the closest to the truth that I could have gotten because right then, even with as many thoughts as there were going through my head, I truly didn't know what to say.

"You love Sam, but you have children at home, I know, we've talked about this, but what are you going to do?" I sat there for a moment, taking in her words but said nothing in reply. "Ali, can you really let him go?"

"I have to," I whispered and let my head fall forward, the heaviness inside taking over. "To protect myself, to protect Sam, I have to let him go and we'll work around it, I know we will."

"Why?" She questioned and I heard her move to sit in front of me, her hands cupped my cheeks as she lifted my chin so our eyes met. "Why do you have to let him go to protect him?"

"Because Cas didn't get rid of all of the darkness, Danni, not really." I admitted and she looked at me completely confused.

"I think you're tired, you're not making sense." I closed my eyes, yes, tired was exactly what I was but that wasn't the reason for it. I felt her hands slid to the edge of my jaw and through tears I could see the shock on her face. "You don't honestly think that you're evil, do you?"

"Demons, vampires, witches," I laughed sarcastically, "does that sound particularly righteous to you?" I put my hands on hers and drew them away from my face, looking up at her. "I've been plagued by the supernatural since I was a child, how is that fair to him? He needs someone that isn't tarnished by this crap, that's so far away from this life that he could be out of it forever. He doesn't need me…"

"No," Sam whispered from behind me, "but I want you," he admitted and I squeezed my eyes tightly as the tears came faster. I felt Danni's hands slip from mine as Sam knelt down in front of me, his hands resting on my shoulders before he gathered me up and pulled me towards him. "I want you with everything I have, every ounce of my soul and I love you! Honestly, I love you more than I've ever loved anything before."

"Jessica," I whispered, and felt his chest heave at her name, but he let the breath out slowly.

"I'll never stop loving her," he answered, "but that doesn't mean anything, you're not Jess, you're Ali and I'm never going to let you go."

I pushed back from him and stared into his eyes. "Sam, you can't…"

"I know, and I get it, so we'll work something out, but right now, for tonight and tomorrow night, it's just going to be us," he touched my cheek with the tips of his fingers, "so let's just be us, no one else, nothing else, just...us."

I took a breath, letting all the emotion drain from my body as I nodded and felt his arms wrap around me once more. My eyes wandered up to connect with Danni, who gave me a half smile as she knelt down and stroked a hand down the back of my head.

Tomorrow was going to be awful.

The lights that flickered by overhead, reflecting off the glass of the window. The way they passed by like the beat of the music on the radio. The darkness beyond them, the way the light reflected off the snow, I knew this dream.

The sound of a truck speeding by, the darkness that surrounded me, the headlights of the oncoming car. The swerve of the road, the screeching of tires and the sound of the front end impacting what felt a brick wall, until the cold water started to swirl around me.

My chest was tight, the water was rising, I couldn't breathe, couldn't get the seatbelt undone as I tilted my head back as far as I could go. I remembered the lights before my eyes, the way that the headlights on the car suddenly flickered and went out. The darkness closed in, the cold tightened every muscle in my body, there was no way out, no way to the surface.

Water filled my lungs as I gasped for air. There was nothing to grasp onto, my fingers had all but gone numb. There was nothing I could do. My body was going into shock, there was no way out of this, and I didn't understand why I couldn't get way. Why was the water coming in so fast, why couldn't I breath? I wanted to live, I wanted to go home, I wanted… my mother. I felt the weight of something press down on my stomach, the belts I wrestled against snapped away, releasing my body from the confines of the seat and I felt fingers grasp around my arm, my tiny, tiny arm. I was pulled through the smashed passenger's -side window, up towards the light, up towards the surface. And when I finally broke through, finally found the way to breathe…

I sat up quickly, blinking away the pain, the strange cold sensation that made my toes tingle and my hands feel thick, and as I flexed them, began to get feeling back through those foreign feeling objects at the end of my palms, I realized that I wasn't alone. Sam lay beside me, still sound asleep and I slipped from the covers, felt the floor under my bare feet and headed out the door.

My mind went in a thousand directions, but I couldn't get off the dream and why had it changed, why was it different, it had always been the same. The dirt below my feet was grainy and cold, and dug into my soles as a reminder to stay planted, but my mind couldn't break free.

I ran my hands through my hair, trying to stop moving, to get it straight, when suddenly hands wrapped around my arm yet again. This time turning me in the direction of a person and I watched my eyes flash between Dean's face and a man that looked so much like him. The hand on my arm, Dean's hand, became a giant one wrapped around my skinny arm and I was flashed back to that night.

It wasn't a dream, it was a memory.

The water was freezing, the waves from the ripples hit me like a thousand tiny shards of glass but before I knew it I was sitting on the shore, just beyond the guardrail, and bright blue light were heading way. The splash shook me as smaller hands covered me with a thick white towel. I looked up, flashes of green against the headlights of the car stared down at me and a boy with dirty blond hair knelt down.

"Stay here, keep wrapped up, it's okay my dad will save your parents. He's a superhero," was all he said as he pulled the towel tighter, and then walked away.

My eyes were drawn back to the water as the man dragged my mom up, and went back to grab my dad. No one else was in the car, I don't remember where my siblings went but I knew that there was just the three of us. When both Mom and Dad lay beside me, I watched the man lean down and check their necks, put his ear to their mouths and look up in fear as the sirens started to approach.

He came to me, did the same thing the boy did and tugged the towel tighter, before he looked at me with thoughtful brown eyes. His hand came up to my cheek and his brows raised as he smiled, kissed my head and moved quickly back to the black car that idled some ways away. I listened to the door close and the engine rumbled as it took off into the night.

"Ali?" Dean's voice broke through and I could see the blue lights grow closer before fading away and I was staring at the concern in his eyes. His hands were against my face, cupping my cheeks and I reached up placing my palm on the warmth of his. "What are you doing out there? Where's Sam?"

I licked my lips, chasing away the dryness and drew in a deep breath, thanking whatever was above that there was no water blocking it. "Sam's asleep," I whispered, "I had a dream, I was drowning."

"That one again?" he pulled me in closer, wrapping his arms around me as I tucked mine to his chest, just wanting to be surrounded by his warmth. "What's up with you and that dream."

"It's a memory," I whispered and his lips pressed against my hair, making me think of the man. "I was seven, maybe eight, and the car went off the road, into the river. Before I thought it was me that got out, but a man reached in and pulled me out, left me on shore before going to get my parents. How was he not freezing? A boy gave me a towel, something from a hotel I think, told me to keep warm."

Dean's arms tightened, but he didn't say anything as he placed his cheek on the top of my head, replacing his lips and I felt him sway a little, as if he were trying to rock me gently. I didn't say anymore, I didn't want to, I just wanted it to go away.

"You can't leave," he admitted softly, and I felt his chest expand as he drew in a breath, before releasing it through clenched teeth, "I can't let you."

"I have no choice, I have to get back to my kids." I pushed back so that I could look up at him. "Dean, please, don't make this any harder than it already is."

"How am I supposed to let you go?" He smiled, but I could see the pain in it.

"You're not letting me go, Dean," I set my fingertips against his face and let them slide down his jaw. "I'm going, and you're staying here."

"What?" he seemed shocked at the order.

"Danni needs you, and I know you need her too, I can see it in your eyes. She needs the protection, I mean come on, Crowley sent his hound here to protect her because she was the vulnerable one, not me." I tried to reason with him but I could see the conflict. "She can't be alone, and you need to make sure she stays safe."

"I know," he whispered and sighed, "I know."

"Listen," I smiled, grabbing ahold of that over shirt, a maroon one that he seemed to love to wear over his black tee-shirt and I pulled him close, as he leaned his head down. I let my forehead rest against his and drew in his scent. Aftershave, deodorant, body wash, the smell of his car and just under it, the hint of the American Spirits that was left on him, pure Dean. "If you were to show up at my door, out of the blue, I wouldn't ever turn you away, do you understand? Open invitation, for you, Sam and Danni, always."

"You do realize that an invite like that would mean I'm living in your basement." he grinned and I shook my head.

"As long as you can deal with three rowdy teenagers and "hacker central" when the rest of the bunch is over."

"You're kidding, right? Have you met my brother?" Dean's laugh shook his body, but didn't make much noise, "I live with hacker central, and don't be surprised if Sammy pings everything you own." His smile faded. "Take him with you."

"We already talked, Dean, he's going with you." He let out a frustrated sigh. "You need to find Cas, need to find your dad and you can't do that without your brother. You want to keep me safe, find out why Crowley wants Danni and I for whatever the hell this bloodline reason is and then come and get me. Once we have the pieces together, then we can take it on, but Dean, you need to stay with Danni."

"I get it," he mumbled, not very happy with my choice but he turned me in his arms, pressing his body against my back and moved us towards the house. "In we go, before both Sammy and Dan come out here looking."

"Afraid to get caught?" I laughed as he let me go to open the door. His green eyes looked down at me and he gave me a wicked grin.

"Afraid to get shot," he answered, pulling the door open as he gave me a gentle push inside.

The sound of mugs clanking together, of bodies moving in the other room and the aroma of coffee that filled the air drew me from the dark depth of the dreamless sleep I had finally found after Dean led me to the room, practically pushed me into bed and literally put Sam's arm around me before he kissed my head and tucked me in. All very big-brother, protective and needy like, but it was sweet and it didn't take long to find with the warmth of the man curled up behind me, the warmth that was gone in the morning light of the sun.

Flopping over in the bed, I happened to glance at the bags that were packed by the door, the only thing out was my clothes for that day and I let out a huff. What the hell time was it, and why was everyone else awake? I looked up at the door, feeling the eyes on me and smiled as Sam stood there, braced against the doorsill, cup of coffee in one hand, the other tucked in his jean pockets.

"Morning," he grinned.

"Ugh!" I grabbed the pillow, the one he had used and covered my head with it, enjoying the scent of him, but it was pulled away as the sun blazed in on me. I turned, my eyes narrowing at the man with the blue-green eyes and watched him smile. "You're a pain in my ass!"

"Not until tonight." He winked and leaned down, kissing me softly before backing away just enough so that we made eye contact again.

"Ooh, color me curious," I smiled and let his lips brush mine again. I just wanted to stay there, feel him on me, against me, in me but he grabbed my shirt and gently pulled me to a sitting position before he sat down on the bed beside me. "Ut-oh, I know that face."

Yeah, he had the "we need to talk" expression down to an art, but I watched as he just gave me a small shrug and shook his head a little.

"Only if you want to," he replied as he tucked my hair behind my ear. "But," yep, I knew that was coming, "Dean did tell me about your dream, your memory last night."

"I figured he would." I pushed the covers off and swung my legs out, standing up a bit too fast for what I should have and I felt Sam's hand on the small of my back, steadying me. Winking at him, I closed the door and started to change. He watched me intently and, his head doing that little side tilt that always told me he was paying pretty close attention and his tongue touched his lips as I button the top of my jeans, facing him without a top. "So, what exactly did he tell you?"

"That you realized it was something from your childhood," he shrugged, "and that he was worried because before you had been an adult in it."

"So, what is he thinking, premonition?" I questioned, grabbing the loose tank that I had dug out of the bag and slipped it on over my bra. Sam gave me a sly smile and shook his head.

"I don't know, I'm not sure what exactly he was thinking, I just know that it worried him." Sam clenched his jaw, his lips thinned in a line and his brows furrowed together with worry. "He also said something that kind of struck a chord."

"With you two, it would surprise me if it didn't strike one," I smiled and sat beside him on the bed, "and, what was it?"

"He said you mentioned a boy with a towel, a hotel towel," Sam sat up a bit straighter, his thinking position as he went through all of the information in his head, just before he came to a conclusion that would break the case wide open. "Was it white?"

"Most hotel towels are," I smiled and watched his eyes as he looked down at me.

"More specifically, was it white with an "H" embossed in white in the corner?" I sat back a little bit, that was exactly what it looked like, and I knew because I kept it forever, not really remembering where it came from but I knew that it meant something special to me.

"How did you know that?" I stood from the bed, his hand reached out to grab mine but he didn't pull me back down as he kept his gentle hold on my fingers.

"The Howard Johnson in White River Junction, Vermont," he whispered and I quickly snatched my hand from him.

"Wait," I swallowed, trying to catch my breath, "how do you…" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, "how did you know where it happened?"

"Because the man that pulled you from the car," he whispered, "that was my dad, that was John."

"And the boy?" I swallowed back the strange feeling in my stomach as if I were about to be sick, but as soon as I did, I remembered his eyes. "Oh, my God," I blinked back a tear, "that was Dean."

Sam took a deep breath and slowly exhaled as I covered my mouth with my hands, letting the knowledge of what he said sink in.

"Dad wrote it in his journal," he whispered. "We were in Vermont for some vengeful spirit thing, Bobby couldn't take us so Dad took us along. I remember staying at a Howard Johnson because even their cups had the hotel name on it."

"You said it was in his journal, why? I mean besides the ghost thing, why would the accident be there?" I whispered.

"Because of what Dean said after when we were driving away," Sam paused and I shook my head, just waiting on an answer. "He said we needed to go back, that he needed to get back to you."

I stopped dead as I paced the room, my breath quickened and I shook my head. Dean said that? The Dean in the other room, the one that was two years younger than me? The turning in my stomach told me that this was too much for my brain to handle and I leaned back against the door.

"Why did he say that?" I didn't really want to know, did I? I mean there isn't anything good that could possibly come out of Dean saying something like that at his age, especially with what he was doing now, not being able to let go, needing just as much. "Sam! What the hell did Dean say?"

Sam looked down at his hands and then back up at me, as if the information was something he wasn't sure he wanted to share, but he took a deep breath and stood. I held fast as Sam put his hands on my shoulders, his fingers digging gently into my neck, trying to loosen the stress there.

"The dog with the red eyes was too close to you and it growled at him when he gave you the towel." Sam whispered, as if he had looked at those words a hundred times, quoting them in a child's voice.

Dog with red eyes? I thought to myself, my breathing becoming labored and I remembered listening to the police as they checked my parents at the back of the ambulance. Mom said they were avoiding a dog when the other car swerved. A dog with eyes that glowed red.

"Crowley," I whispered softly and shook my head. "A hellhound? We were run off the road by a hellhound?"

"I don't know, honestly," Sam sighed, caressing my cheek, trying to keep me calm, "that's all that dad wrote."

"Dean!" I said sharply and put my hands on his as his grasp got a little tighter. "Dean would know."

"No, Ali, Dean doesn't remember." I watched the worry in his eyes as they came to rest on mine. "He doesn't remember anything about that night, I don't remember it either, it was so long ago."

I shook my head, as the tears streamed down my face. How could I expect them, either of them to remember when I thought it was a memory myself? Feeling Sam's thumb wiping away the moisture on my face, I took a deep breath and leaned into him, putting my head against his chest as he held me tight.

What a sucky way to start the day!


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

The coffee was good, when I was actually able to pull away from Sam and go down to the kitchen to get some. Dean was happily downing probably his second bagel of the day and I was almost surprised there wasn't a pie stashed in some hiding spot where he could eat that too. I had slid in beside him, my thigh touching the length of his and he bumped me with it as he winked and took another bite. Sam set the cup down in front of me, and it took me a moment of staring down at the steam before I came to my senses enough to make it the way I wanted.

Danni placed a muffin on a plate and slide it towards me, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to eat, in fact I wasn't sure if I wanted to do anything besides go back to sleep, but the coffee was helping, at least as much as it could. I didn't know what to do next, I had to leave today but I couldn't get things moving.

My eyes settled on the people around me.

Dean, whose knee bounced against my leg playfully as he grinned, fully into the muffin in his hand and I remembered that first glance, the one at the Waffle House and I realized just how different he looked to me now. He was hard, dark and downright scary standing there with a blade in his hand after taking off the vampire's head, the one that almost had me for lunch. He was arrogant, and pushy and I could have punched him a few more times than I actually did for the way he seemed to take over my life, especially when he wouldn't let me travel to Joplin alone. Now… now he was lighter, just a little mind you, this side of the line, and he trusted and was semi-open, because we all knew that Dean Winchester was emotionally constipated, but here he was smiling at a damn muffin, something I never thought I would see.

Sam sat across from me, a light grin on his lips as he and Danni talked softly between themselves. He was full of life, so trusting, at least with the two of us, because in any crowd, any situation he became that man I first met, the one with the cold as steel stare that didn't blink twice about stabbing a blade through the gut of a monster. He was the one that seemed so surprised when I fought back, as if he was used to taking on the world with only his brother, where no one protected themselves. His doubt of letting someone in, his walls that he had built to keep the feelings out, to close off those emotions that he just didn't understand, those were gone, and here, in front of me, was a man filled with love, compassion, which I always believed was there just under the surface, but he was still the silently overprotective one.

Danni was next, as she happened a glance over the rim of her mug, watching the emotions in my eyes. This one I knew, this wild, energetic badass was everything I expected to get when we met for the first time and a thought occurred to me. We really were family, whether some bloodline connected us, or our love for a show and its boys did, it didn't matter now because we were far more linked than that and it was evident in her eyes as she stared at me, that big sister concern on her face that I had barely touched anything.

The way she put herself between me and Sam at the rest stop, when he was in full blown Winchester fashion, running headlong into a fight that emotionally he wasn't ready for, the stance she took when she held Dean back and let in on him for the argument that the two of us had, you know, that nice punch to his perfect jaw. Yeah, I had come down here knowing we were sisters, but every action she took, even know with the hurt she was going through, cemented the knowledge that she would never be anything less than the "big sister", the "older sibling", the "protector", and for that I was grateful and loved.

I cleared my throat, grabbed the mug and slipped from the table, making my way out into the Oklahoma morning air. My little red rental car sat among two very important vehicles. Danni's Silver Escape, which brought the thought of the Lawrence trip to the forefront, and the Impala, where I could still feel the rumble of her engine in my heart. Two inanimate object that had become home for a few days, a home that kept me safe when we weren't off the road, when the nightmares sprung forth and when all I wanted to do was be alone. And the Escape, it gave me the conversations with Danni, the small amount of time with Dean to curl up and be safe, and soon, it would give me Sam, as he followed me at least to London. It would make sure he returned safely to his brother.

I felt a light hand run from my neck, along my spine to the waist of my jeans and those fingers slipped around my waist, flattening out against my stomach as I felt Sam's body press to mine. His breath warmed across my ear as his lips touched there ever so gently, sending a shiver through me.

"Hey," he sighed, "it's going to be all right."

"None of this is all right, Sam," I sighed. "I know I have to go, but I can't bring myself to put my crap in a car and start the engine." His lips danced down my neck, essentially relaxing every part of me and the thought of the hotel room without any older siblings interrupting ghosted to the forefront of my mind. "I might, however, be tempted to drag you off to the barn."

"I might be up for that," he whispered in a sultry voice, pulling me back against him so I could feel his thoughts on the matter. I turned in his arms and pressed my hands against his chest.

"As tempting as it sounds...and the visuals I'm getting of being all wrapped up in you, we need to get going soon, it's a ten-hour drive to London."

Sam's hand came up, pressed against my cheek and he leaned down, brushing his lips against mine. The spark I felt, when the warmth of his mouth captured my lips, was enough to send shivers down my spine and I pushed the thoughts of having to leave him away, wanting nothing more than to enjoy this moment. With a sigh, he inched away, leaning his forehead against mine as he stood, his thumb caressing my cheek.

"We should probably get going," he spoke softly and kissed right between my eyes as he took a step back.

"Yeah," I answered breathless and full of emotion. Sam released me to step inside, he was headed to the room to grab my bags when Danni stepped out onto the patio as Dean followed Sam into the room. She and I headed towards the car, where I popped the trunk and waited patiently. With my hands stuffed into my back pockets, I turned to her, the sadness swelling in her eyes. "You know this really isn't goodbye, right?"

She gave me a grin but I could see there was no way it was going to reach those blue orbs that were staring me down. "So, what is it then, because it sure feels that way."

"It's talk to you later, it's see you soon," I moved towards her, reached out and wrapped my arms around her as I heard her sniffle and her hands came up to pull me closer, hold me tighter. "It's never goodbye Danni, it's always "love ya Dean!" I felt her body tremble as she held back the sobs but she nodded on my shoulder. "By the way, I know he's staying here with you, but try not to kill each other."

"I wish you wouldn't take two cars," she whispered in my ear as I closed my eyes, enjoying her embrace.

"How would Sam get back?" Danni pushed back on me at that very moment, the look of shock in her eyes as the humor flooded into her gaze.

"You're kidding, right?" She laughed, "he's a Winchester, he'll do what they do best."

"What? Steal a car?"

"Improvise," she winked and I couldn't help but smile, yeah, he would probably hot wire a car to get back to Dean and ditch it somewhere far enough away to not bring attention but close enough for his brother to find him. "I want to Skype tonight when the two of you get settled."

"I don't see an issue with that, but you know with Sam in the car, the phone calls between us won't be hours long right?" I laughed, thinking back to the beginning of the trip when we spent most of the ten hours checking in on each other. Danni grinned and looked up at the two men that were now walking out of the house with my bags, and I bit the corner of my bottom lip. "Something tells me that besides my check ins, you'll be a little too busy to chat."

"Oh, I plan on being very...very busy," she smiled but turned back to me as she winked, "cleaning up your mess."

"My mess, you think Dean Winchester is _my_ mess?" I giggled and looked at the green-eyed man who had stopped at the sound of his name. Sam just smiled, shook his head and moved onto the trunk, knowing that there was no way he was getting involved with anything that had to do with picking on Dean. "Personally, I think he came that way, but that's just my opinion and my observation when I picked him up." Dean glanced between the two of us, confused as Danni and I now stood side by side, like we had the night they pulled into Fred and Red's parking lot. "It kind of sucks actually, the manager said there was a no return policy on that one on account of his bad attitude."

"Funny, I don't see it," Danni tilted her head a little, still looking at the older Winchester who rolled his eyes and moved towards the car, putting his backside to us, "oh, wait, yeah...I see it now."

Sam dropped the bag in the truck, gave Dean a bit of a side smiled and watched his brother pick his head up, close the trunk lid and turn in our direction. We found the six-foot tall man standing right in front of us in second, but he didn't have us fooled any longer. There was no way _this_ Dean would ever touch either one of us, but he crossed his arms, trying to look stern.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" He questioned and Danni shook her head as I gave him a small frown and a short shrug. "Really, because I think I could probably get the truth out of one of you without blinking."

"Really," I asked and smiled at Danni, raising my eyebrows. "I think that was a challenge." I bumped her arm with mine and watched as she stuffed her hands in her pockets as she contemplated it for a moment. "What do you think? Think he could?"

"Please," Danni grinned and looked at me, the two of us ignoring the stares of the one before us, "I could get him to say uncle before I caved any day."

"Well, uncle wasn't exactly what I was going to go with as far as what you could get out of him, but if that's what you want him to call you…" I replied and watched the expression run off her face, as if it just melted into a frown and Sam chuckled over by the car.

I glanced up at Dean and stepped forward, slipping my arms around his waist. I could almost feel his head roll on his neck as he sighed with annoyance and uncrossed his arms to wrap them around me. Once he touched me, as soon as his arms were solidly in place, they became just a tad bit softer, but more protective as if he didn't want the embrace to end and I felt his cheek on my head as I leaned in against his chest, taking in the scent of him once last time before I left.

Dean's lips were on my head, pressing down hard, as if branding me there, just before his hands came up and cupped my cheeks, lifting my head back to face him completely. He leaned down, put those lips against my cheek and breathed against my skin. I don't know how he did it, or why, but that feeling of being safe, secure and completely surrounded always happened when he did that, just those little gestures and I expected him to pull away a lot sooner than he did.

With a shudder in his breath, he stepped back, one hand coming from my cheek to run down his face before he fully released me and managed to make eye contact, but I could see the emotional toll letting me go was taking. Clearing his throat, he rested his hand on my shoulder, gave it a gentle squeeze and stepped away, trying to put some distance between us. Confused and a little upset by the sudden distance, I took a breath myself and a moment to look around, before I turned to Danni and hugged her once more.

"Okay, we should get going," Sam whispered as he approached, and Danni switched partners, hugging Sam tightly before he backed away and walked up to Dean.

"You okay?" Danni questioned, I gave her a half-cocked smile, trying to play it off.

"Me?" I shrugged, "Peachy, ducky and all things feathered," was the only thing I could come up with. I was leaving her, I was leaving Dean, who had just walked away, and no I was far from okay, but I sucked it up and hugged her quickly before heading over to the driver's side of the car. I watched as Sam and Dean stepped a little further away, their heads together in what looked like a meeting of the minds before I glanced at Danni, who was yet again standing beside me. "Think we need a crowbar?"

"Maybe a bucket of cold water," she answered as far as thinking about separating the two, "things look like they could be getting heated."

"We could just beat them," I watched her smile but that was about the time that Dean backed away and Sam made his way over to the passenger's seat, his eyes locked on his brothers.

Dean took a couple more deep breaths before he moved in any way besides a circle and suddenly he was almost on top of me. Those arms wrapped tightly around me, his hand at the back of my head as his other spanned my back. I could feel his lips at my neck, not kissing, just resting and it sounded as if he were just breathing me in, which was fine because I would have given anything to have his scent etched into my brain.

I wanted to say so much, wanted to thank him, to tell him I loved him, to scold him about being safe but it all came out in one simple, whispered word. "Dean."

"I'm trusting you with Sam, Ali, I'm trusting that you get him there safe and that you send him on his way back in the same condition." he was full of shit because he wasn't trusting me with his brother, he was trusting his brother to keep me safe, he just didn't want to come off as a jerk. "Promise me! Promise me that you'll keep an eye on him, and that you'll call if you get into trouble."

"I promise," I whispered and felt him draw in the deepest breath, his chest expanding against me. "Dean, you have to let me go."

"I can't." He shivered, every muscle in his body fought him on letting go, but he slowly unwrapped his arms and dropped them to his side as his lips came up to brush pass my ear, four last words to say before he really let me go, "you smell like Sammy."

I swallowed hard and looked up into those emotional eyes before he stepped over beside Danni and placed his hand gently on the small of her back. I felt the tear slide down my face, as I looked at my sister, and then at the man behind her before slipping into the small red compact. Sam followed suit, pushing the seat back to accommodate his long legs.

With a shaky hand, I started the car, turned and looked at the two in the driveway, and put it in gear, and look at the road ahead of me for a moment, before feeling Sam's hand take mine gently. I glanced over, watched him wink as he reached out and wiped the tear away, and then turned to the road, pulling out onto the drive, the long hall of a 733-mile trip ahead of us to the hotel in London where we met.

I never realized just how much one person could talk in the span of however many hours we were together between stops. Sam and I would start on one conversation and suddenly be onto the next without even a blink of an eye, but there were breaks for check-ins, ones between Sam and Dean, where the older of the two would call out of the blue to ask the strangest question, or you know "so get this" Sam, which was totally not a Dean thing.

There were check-ins with Danni that would go on for countless minutes about nothing but how the traffic was and what the hell the chicken was doing, just to keep that connection there for a few moments longer. All of it seemed surreal, like it wasn't really happening at all, but just like the way the beginning of this adventure played out, none of this was supposed to happen at all.

Sometime down the road, the events of the night before caught up with me and Sam took over driving as I leaned the seat back, covered up with his large, warm coat, and caught some sleep. It was strange this time, I didn't wake up to the sounds of him having a "private" conversation with his brother, instead, it was to him singing an old Kansas song, one that he really didn't seem to know the words too, but I recognized it instantly and smiled as I just let the sound of his voice fill my ears.

" _Though my eyes could see, I still was a blind man. Though my mind could think, I still was a madman,"_ the words floated through the air and relaxed me, but at the same time, they made me think of John. The man had saved my life as a child, but to what end? For me to grow up to be the one that helped destroy him, or whatever other demons Crowley had lying about. " _Masquerading as a man with a reason, my charade was the event of the season…"_

I listened to Sam's words turn to humming as he seemed to drown out the music and I slowly drifted back into the light sleep I was in before. A couple more hours and we should be almost there. I was sure that Sam would make the check in while I slept, and I was grateful for it, because I was dead tired.

My dreams weren't as pleasant as I would have liked, more like my mind's way of dealing with everything that had happened those last few days and though I knew my body had remained still, my thoughts were restless. In my dreams, Danni hated me for leaving her, Dean despised the fact that I hurt his brother and Sam… Sam wouldn't even look at me, but it was the one in the distance, the figure in the dark that got my attention.

He stood towards the back of the dream, as if casually observing and even with all of the emotional turmoil that surrounded the contents of the dream, I smiled at his presence. Walking past the images, the barrage of unending streams of consciousness, I watched as he came into focus. Dark blue suit, crazy crooked tie, his hands in the pockets of his dress pants and the ever stoic look on his face, which told me that yes, this was in fact Castiel and not a dream.

"Knocking would be appreciated," I grinned as I stopped before him.

"I didn't realize you could knock in a dreamscape," he replied, a little confused, which only made my smile wider. "I'll try to remember it for next time."

"You plan on sneaking into my head again?"

"It's the easiest way to keep tabs on you from such a distance, yes."

"Cas," I whispered as I could see him visually becoming uneasy as if he had done something wrong, "chill out, I was just joking, you're welcome in my head anytime… except maybe when I'm preoccupied with Sam."

"Yes, I…" he cleared his throat, "I could see how privacy would be important at that point."

"What brings you to my nightmare?" I questioned, turning to glance at the three very pissed off people behind me, all three still going on with the anger issues, all of which were completely made up from my own insecurities and guilt.

"I wanted to check on you, but I realize that popping into a car with Sam driving might get me shot at." Cas admitted and I stuffed my hands into my pockets. "I also wanted to let you know that I checked in on Danni."

"Yeah, I have been too," I replied but I watched him sigh in frustration, "oh you mean mentally." He gave me a thin-lipped nod, "so?"

"While she seems to have accepted the role she plays in this whole scheme of things, I don't think she truly believes in her importance," he began to pace, something I had never seen the angel do before but I couldn't take the back and forth motion, so I reached out a hand and grabbed his sleeve. He looked at me sternly.

"You're making me seasick." I groaned.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"What do you mean her importance?"

"Ali, you and Danni have become part of something larger than what we ever had thought was possible and while you acknowledge just what has been going on in your life, Danni seems to have missed the signs."

"What signs? You mean all the supernatural crazy crap that I've been through? Those kinds of signs?" He nodded and I crossed my arms, "and Danni has had this going on her whole life as well?"

"Things may have been more subtle for her but yes, the supernatural realm has always been with her, since well before your grandmothers' performed that summoning spell."

"Cas, what exactly are you getting at?"

"I believe it would be in your best interest to find out as much as you can about your past, yours and Danni's."

"We had planned on that anyway," I shrugged but the look on his face told me that there was more to what he was saying. "Cas, what is it that you aren't telling me?"

He paused for a moment, giving me that feeling that he was debating on what to say but in the end, his angelic nobility won out.

"Do you remember the reason you were on your way home, passing through White River on the night that your car went into the water?" I stared at him for a moment, wondering how he knew, but I just stood there, trying to find the words.

"I barely remembered it was even real last night, what the hell do you know Cas?"

"So, you don't have any recollection of the events before the accident?"

"DUH!"

"Ali, you were on your way home from Danni's father's house." I stepped back, wanting nothing more than to believe him but this was all just becoming too much too soon and way too fast. What the hell was going on?

"What?" I snapped. "I didn't even know Danni back then, exactly how were we coming back from her father's?"

"You know the connection between your grandmothers."

"Cas! Stop stating the obvious and get on with it!"

"She's your…" and with that the angel was suddenly gone, whooshed out like he was pulled from my thoughts.

"Cas?" I turned in this evolving mind-screwed world, still seeing my loved ones yelling from a distance. "CAS!" I screamed and put my hands on my hips, now I got why Dean was so frustrated with him. "Son of a bitch!"

With those words, I sat straight up in the car, the seatbelt automatically slamming me back against the seat and I wrapped my hands around it to try and get some give on it, hoping at some point to be able to breath. Sam looked at me with concern, his brows creased with worry, leaving those little lines across his forehead and I rolled my eyes.

"You were calling Castiel's name," he said softly, and I wanted to smile at that small hint of jealousy in his voice.

"The damn Halo popped into my dreams," I growled in frustration, "he started to say something about Danni and I, about our past and where we were coming from the day of the accident, but it was as if something just grabbed him by the collar and yanked him out." My explanation seemed to ease his mind as I finally got the belt to do what I wanted. "How long have I been out?"

"A couple hours," Sam whispered, and reached over to take my hand. "Danni called twice to check in, apparently being lost in your own thoughts is not a valid excuse for missing a check-in two times."

"Oh no, she'd be hot on your heels after the first one, you're lucky she's not in a car headed this way now." I stretched and looked around, watching the scenery fly by. "Any chance for a pit-stop?"

"Actually, yeah, I was thinking the same thing," he smiled and the two of us sat in a comfortable silence, our eyes on the lookout for a rest area, but my thoughts were on the vampire and what he had said the other night.

Did I mention that I hated silence? It was the reason I always had the music on, the reason I drove. That brought my concentration somewhere else, and away from anything potentially damaging, like the thought of a monster wanting me for the last thirty years… wanting me for itself at the same time that Crowley was gunning for me, or saving me, or whatever hell else he was planning.

I knew what my plan of action was when I got home, actually several plans of action, but one that stood out in my head. I was going to find out the whole bloodline issue and I was going to get down to the point of Crowley's three-decade obsession with the two of us.

By any means necessary!


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Sam opened the door to the motel room, this one just outside of West Jefferson, Ohio, far enough away from London, but still on the route home. I watched as he scanned the room and opened the door as I shot a text to Deb, one to my kids and Kathy and a last one to my mom. Yep, I was halfway there and stopping for the night. This time I hoped for a monster-free evening, and some alone time with Sam.

I stepped over the threshold, but as soon as I entered the room, my skin began to tingle. Sam glanced over at me as I stopped just this side of the door, cell in hand and my eyes darting back and forth over the room that held one queen-sized bed, a table, dresser and old box television.

"Ali?" and I heard the concern in his voice. I cleared my throat, jostled out of my daze and looked over at him, letting my emotions drain from my face. "You all right?"

"Yeah, I...ah," I stumbled, and then smiled. "I'm fine, just a long day in a car and actually really hungry. Guess convenience store food just doesn't have that sustenance that it would have thought. No wonder Dean is always starving."

Sam smiled as I came in, dumped the bag I had carried in on the table and felt his hand on the back of my neck. Constant contact seemed to be a must with these two. I looked up at him as he raised his brows, scanning over my face.

"No," he breathed softly, locking his eyes on mine, "something's up, what is it?"

"A feeling, just a feeling." I admitted and ran my hands over my face. "Maybe it's because of what happened last time we were in a hotel in Ohio."

"Yeah, that was...well, it was what it was, I guess." he took my hand and tugged me over towards the bed, gently nudging me to sit down as he knelt on the floor between my legs, bringing us to eye level. He reached up and touched my face, his fingers gently caressing my cheek as I watched his lips part. I closed my eyes at the touch and sighed, letting the feel of his fingers venturing down my neck to my collarbone and across just take over. "I will always protect you," he whispered little promises, "I will always be there when you call."

"Sam," I sighed, and leaned into the palm that was now pressed against my face.

I didn't want those promises, he had a brother to protect, a man he needed to be with. No, I didn't want promises from him, I just wanted him, his love and what he could give me when he was there. I knew the story, they were hunters, there was no apple pie kind of life for them, as much as I would love it to be, but Sam and Dean had a mission, they were needed, more than anyone in the world would ever know.

He moved up against me, his lips softly pressed against mine as I brought my hands to his head, tangling them both in his hair, holding him there, and not wanting to let go. We were moving slowly, inching back on the bed as the kiss wore on, becoming deeper and more penetrating, not so much with tongue and lips, but the emotion behind it.

I knew what he was doing, trying to get so deep inside that I would never unfeel the way he felt right now, but he didn't realize how much he already lived inside me. He towered over me, those brown locks curtaining his face as he pulled away and looked deep into my eyes.

"I love you," he whispered in a breathless voice, "more than anything, never forget that." And before I could respond his lips were on mine once again.

His touch, his light caresses went on for what felt like hours, somehow undressing every part of me so that he could memorize it with his fingers, his mouth and any other part of him that he could use for sense memory. By the time, he had made it to my waist with just fingers and lips alone, I was ready to come undone. The man was sin incarnate and I was loving every second of it, my body so sensitive that even the brush of his hair was sending sensations through me that gave me goosebumps.

Just as he crossed the line, his lips following the line of my hips and lower, his phone rang. My hands tangled in his hair, begging him not to stop as his hands came down on my thighs, fingers kneading into the soft flesh, as he settled between them. It stopped ringing and then a voicemail pinged, but just as his tongue flickered across an over-sensitive bundle of nerves, it began to ring again, and Sam's growl against my skin vibrated through me, dragging a low moan from my throat.

Again, it finally went to voicemail and he captured me between his lips, his tongue darting out as my fingers gripped tighter. I felt the sting of teeth against a too stimulated area and my breath caught, which made him do it again, getting more of response as he put my legs up on his shoulders and pressed deeper, like he couldn't get enough of the sounds he was drawing from me.

I felt his finger slip in through the slickness and my whole body vibrated as my muscle clenched around the new intruder. I bit down on my lip, trying to keep it to a moan and not the scream that threatened to come out, but I couldn't help the way my hips moved, wanting to bring him in closer. His hand moved from my thigh and pressed down against my stomach, holding me in place as his finger found just the spot within my walls to make me shake and curl my toes.

That was about the time the phone rang AGAIN! Sam growled.

"Answer it!" He ordered, mumbled, and I tugged at his hair, his blue-green eyes locked on mine, dark and wanting, before they flicked at the phone. "He's not going to stop until he gets an answer."

"Sam," I huffed, as his finger still moved, making me grind my teeth, "there is no way I'm answering it!"

"Do it," he grinned against me. I released his hair, reached over and snatched the phone from the night stand. All I had to do was place it against my ear to accept the call and Sam knew it, nipping low and dipping in just as the call connected, making me moan into the phone.

All I heard over the sound of my own heart beat was "I'll call back," and the phone went dead. Tossing the device across the room, my hand was instantly back in his hair and Sam closed his eyes as I tugged him closer.

My hands didn't move this time as he shifted from the spot he had nestled into, and my legs fell around his waist. I knew he had managed to remove his shirt, but the fact that he had removed his jeans was definitely a surprise, especially when he rubbed against me.

His lips were hot, passionate and demanding as he brought them crashing down on mine and I loved every second of it. I didn't mind relinquishing control, not to him, and especially not during this because he seemed to know every trick to get me to respond.

This seemed to go on forever, a flow of intense emotions filled with straight desire and lust and then back once more until he turned me gently, as if he were about to cuddle, but as his body pressed against me from behind, while we lay on our side, I felt him take my leg and bring it up so that it rested over his hip. Slipping one of his own between mine, I found that while he was holding me in a gentle embrace from the waist up, his hips had completely other ideas.

This wasn't a new position for me, in fact it was one of the most intense ways to feel things, but the fact that Sam would put me this way made my heart jump. I began to wonder just how he knew, or if we were more alike than I realized. One hand snaked up and he placed his palm against my throat, fingers curling around my neck as the other ventured lower, giving teasing little flicks at every sensitive spot between my neck and where he rested.

I turned my head and met his eyes as he slowly slipped in and his lips brushed mine, only lightly. I grabbed his wrist, the one that held my throat and held on for what was about to become a wild, untamed ride, something that I welcomed.

He was slow at first, enjoying the way that he could move and still drag the noises from me, but his pace quickened as he slowly grew tired of the teasing. I could feel him wavering, trying with everything he had to hold on as he sent waves of ecstasy flowing through my body, and the moment his lips, which had been gently caressing my neck, opened and he bit down hard on my shoulder was the instant that I couldn't hold on any longer.

I slapped my hand down on his ass, digging my nails in as I let go of everything, the pain of the last few days, the confusion of everything that I had learned, and the anger of having to leave when it was just getting started. But I held onto the love, and closed my eyes tightly as his body vibrated with the low moan of release that he gave against my skin, slowly releasing his grip on both my shoulder and my body, one that I didn't even know he had until it let loose.

He rested his cheek against mine, his breathing heavy as he came to rest, only making slow rocking motions with his hips as his arms gathered me up and held me gently. I could almost feel his heart beating against my back and that too began to slow as moved his head back to the pillow.

It usually happened, especially after something as intense as that, I would be wide awake while my partner was dead asleep, and this was no acceptation, Sam faded off into a light sleep, and my body jumped, every nerve excited by all of the endorphins that flowed through me. With a sigh, I slipped from his arms and made my way to the bathroom, glancing over him as he lay, one arm under his head, the other touching the spot where I had been and his legs were just as I pictured, position how he was when he was inside me.

I let the water in the bathroom spray on, let it heat up to the perfect temperature and was just about to get in when I heard Sam's cell ringing again. No need for the towel, since the man in the room had done more than see me naked, I walked over to where it landed, scooped it up and brought the damn thing with me, letting Sam rest a while longer.

"What?" I scolded playfully as I brought the phone to my ear, activating the call.

"You done?" Dean questioned and I gave him a little giggle, "yeah, sounds like you are. Where's Sammy?"

"Knocked out, getting some sleep before dinner," I replied and sat down on the toilet, letting the steam fill the room. "You okay, Dean?"

"Yes," he huffed.

"Liar!"

I heard him sigh, "no, not really okay," he answered and I could almost picture him sitting on a chair, leaning forward on his elbows to his knees. "It's weird being away from him."

"Don't worry, I'm sending him home in the morning."

"It's weird being away from you," he admitted and I smiled.

"Danni is right there with you." I heard him clear his throat and imagined him sitting back. "Dean, what is it?"

"Danni's tearing up the house, looking for some family tree."

"And you want to help but don't have a clue as to what to do with a woman…"

"Hey!" he interrupted which made me smile.

"A woman who is emotionally connected to you but on a mission, if you would kindly let me finish my sentence."

"Yeah," was his only reply.

"Just let her go at it, Dean, and when she's ready, let her go at you."

"You have to be the biggest pervert I have ever met," he groaned.

"Says the man with the need to touch ALL THE TIME!" I answered, rolling my eyes. "I have a question for you, since we really didn't get to discuss it, I mean we did but something about it just isn't really...well, where did the need to touch me come from?"

"I don't want to talk about that," he stated lowly.

"Okay, so what do you want to talk about?" I decided that showering with a Winchester in the talkative mood was out of the question especially with how rarely it happened so I shut it off, grabbed a towel and made my way over to the small table, so I could watch Sam sleep.

"Cas," Dean whispered, and this made me sit forward.

"You called and interrupted Sam in the middle of… to talk about Cas?" I said with a bit of confusion. "Couldn't you have waited if he didn't answer the first time, or you know, just waited for him to get your voicemail before calling back?"

"Have you met me?" He questioned back. "This is a thing for us, I call, he doesn't answer, I call back until he does, or I haul ass and I find him, so yeah, I called back."

"Okay," I exhaled, "fine, so you wanna talk about Cas, let's talk. Let's start with your deal, what the hell happened between you two?"

"Charlie," Dean whispered and this had me stop. Nowhere in any episode had anything happened between Charlie and Cas, so what the hell was he talking about?

"Okay, I'll bite," I sighed, wanting to regret everything from that point forward. "What about Charlie?"

"We were battling some pretty nasty monsters," he said in a hushed voice. Monsters? Not Stynes? Not freakish Frankenstein ancestors but monsters? "Charlie was our backup, I mean her and Jo." OKAY, call me floored now! "They were hanging back, waiting on the bat signal, you know, but we messed up, Sammy and I, we lost track of a few."

"So, if you and Sam lost them, how is it Cas' fault?"

"We sent him to get them, he was our wingman, still had full power at that point, but he wasn't strong enough to take on all of them at once."

"Wait, what the hell kind of monsters were you fighting that Cas couldn't deal with them all in one swoop of his wings?"

"Don't suppose you know what a leviathan is," he questioned, but it was in a way that told me not to even bother answering because he knew the truth. "So, these black goo-ed asshats attacked, Charlie and Jo didn't stand a chance, Cas didn't stand a chance, but he could have saved her."

"Dean, I'm sorry about Charlie, but you can't blame Cas for not saving her, I mean, she knew the hunter's life, she chose this." I sighed and listened to him take in a deep breath.

"He was there, Al, he was there and I wasn't. He shouldn't have gone if he couldn't do my job, if he couldn't protect them."

"Seriously, Dean, there isn't anyone there to blame." I snapped and watched Sam shift on the bed. "You said it yourself he didn't stand a chance, why the hell would you have if you went, how the hell did Cas? Think about this for a minute, Dean, you're not going to be able to save everyone."

"I sure as hell am going to try," he growled and cleared his throat. "I gotta go, tell Sammy to call when he wakes up."

"Yeah, okay," I whispered, but the line went dead. I put the phone on the table and sat back in the chair, letting out a breath.

So, Dean blamed Cas because Dean blamed himself for not being able to be in two places at one time, and save the world, typical Winchester. It didn't tell me what happened to Jo.

I was quiet at dinner, a small diner that was just off the beaten path but the food was delicious. The phone on the table beside me vibrated a few times but I didn't look at it, in fact I didn't do much but pick at the fries that graced my plate, the ones I wasn't about to eat. Sam sat across from me, taking his time with the burger and salad that he had ordered, but I could feel his eyes on me.

I had told him about Dean's phone call, about the way he described Charlie's death and how he blamed Cas, about my confusion over Jo and that his brother wanted a call back but Sam had said nothing in reply at least to the facts about Charlie, which made me think there was more to the story than Dean was letting on. So, I let it go, or at least I let it stop coming out of my mouth but the truth was now I was obsessing over it and I couldn't just drop it. I think it was my brains way of saying "hey dumbass, stop thinking about Crowley," not that it was working either.

The man across from me bumped my knee with his and cleared his throat, which got me to look up from the ketchup soaked fry that I was twirling around. I caught his eyes, watched the facial expressions I had come to know form and I put the fry down, raising my hand.

"Before you ask, yes, I'm fine, and no, I don't want to talk about it," I offered and watched as he gave me a cute little smile, something not as badass as you would have thought this dark hunter was capable of. "I don't get it, I don't want to get it and honestly, my head hurts too much to care enough to try and get it."

"Okay," he whispered and sat back, "I get it."

"Smartass!" I mumbled and sat back in the seat, giving a look around the place. "Why the hell does he blame Cas? I mean if they were leviathans, there was nothing that Cas could have done unless he sprouted a freaking Borax faucet and could make it rain down from heaven."

"Thought you didn't want to get it," he smirked and I rolled my eyes, sighing. "Look, we both know that Dean can project with the best of them, so he projected the blame onto Cas. It's not like he actually takes it seriously, yeah he gets pissed and says stupid things, but he loves Cas and would never want anything to hurt him."

"That doesn't give him the right to be an ass to the angel." I snapped and watched as Sam did the same thing Dean always did to me when he was frustrated, he rolled his eyes and looked around, yep, they were definitely brothers. "Okay, so tell me it."

"Tell you what?"

"Charlie," his eyes came to meet mine, "tell me, in your words, how she died."

Sam took in a deep breath, closed his lips together and exhaled through his nose, before he leaned forward, forearms on the table after he pushed the plate aside and pondered for a moment.

"Dean was right, they were monsters. A dozen or more of the leviathans had breached the warehouse we had been staking out, they were looking for something, had been staking out the town for weeks and we thought we could get the jump on them. Jo was the first on the job, she got us most of the intel, and Charlie came on after when we found out that Roman was doing more than just hunting down some chemicals in this place. This place was locked down tighter than Fort Knox, the only issue was, it wasn't protected by people. They had a state-of-the-art security program that only one person we knew could ever crack." He took a deep breath as the sadness crept up on his face. "She managed to get us in, get us past the gates but her and Jo had to keep the place safe so they were locked in the security office. Dean and I were hunting down the clowns in the meatsuits and Cas was working on his own."

"So, the Scooby gang split up?" I questioned and watched as he nodded, "oh that always works so well in the movies."

"Well, we weren't expecting the place to be guarded, I mean to the outside world, it was just a meat packing plant." Sam shrugged. "We found the first ones on the main floor, but when they noticed we were in, some split off. Dean and I did the best we could, we had at least six of them down, three more at the end of the blades but the others were just gone. Dean called Cas and sent him up to the girls, and we were going to follow but we didn't make it in time."

"How did Charlie die?" I questioned and watched as Sam ran a hand over the stubble on his chin. "It's okay, Sam, you don't have to tell me."

"No," he sighed, "it's okay, I want to. I don't think I've ever told this story out loud to anyone, at least anyone that would understand just what we were up against without changing the monsters to something more human."

"What did you find when you got there?" I reached out and took his hand in mine, running my thumb over the back of it, tracing the line of his fingers.

"Cas was slumped against the wall, bleeding from a gash in his head, but it had already healed. The problem was, he was still unconscious. Jo was curled up on the floor beside him, as if she had been thrown against the same wall Cas leaned on, but Charlie," he paused, his eyes becoming far away and he straightened just a bit, "Charlie was on the floor behind the desk, like she never left her post, she kept manning the computer until the very last minute."

"What did they do?"

"They broke her neck," he said softly and let out a sigh, "but they didn't stop there."

"What?" I watched as his eyes became glossy, his lips thinned out and he blinked away the emotions.

"They _ate_ her heart," he managed to get out in a breathless voice, one just loud enough to make out, and I could feel mine pounding against my chest. "Dean tracked them all down and he killed them, and I don't mean just cut off their heads, no, Dean cooked up a vat of Borax and tortured them until there wasn't anything left on the bone to come back from."

"And it was Cas' fault?"

Sam managed to look up at me and shook his head. "Cas was just as hurt as any of them, but he disappeared before we had Charlie's funeral, and that made Dean mad, we were family, he should have been there."

"According to who?" I questioned and Sam looked at me oddly, as if he had never thought of questioning it. "Before that moment, was Cas looking for your father? Was he the one on the search for John?"

"What does that have to do with Charlie?"

"Did Cas tell you where he went?" I asked and watched as Sam shook his head. "Cas never does anything without some sort of reason, without a strong enough emotion behind him to drive him to think that what he is doing is for the greater good. I'm sure he cared about Charlie just as much as you did, but he doesn't have the luxury of stopping to take a second for anything, not even the death of a friend." I watched as Sam clenched his jaw, before he reached for the cup of coffee. "Don't you think that if it wasn't important for him to go that he would be standing right there beside you and Dean? That he would be there for Charlie?"

"But he wasn't." Sam snapped and his eyes darkened. "He wasn't there and he hasn't been since then! In fact, until you came along, Cas has AWOL and he hasn't come to any of our calls."

"I heard Danni say the other day, when I was kind of half out of it, that maybe you didn't have enough faith in him to bring him to you." Sam's fingers slipped from mine and he placed his hands on his lap. "Maybe Cas feels bad enough that Charlie died on his watch, but he feels even worse because he thinks that he let Dean down, let you down, so he stays away. Maybe, just maybe, he's trying to do the right thing, the one thing that you two haven't been able to."

"Yeah, and what would that be?" Sam questioned, his anger rising.

"Maybe Cas is trying to save your dad." I answered and watched as Sam's brows furrowed, before he turned and looked out the window, essentially closing me off for the moment, but I could see the wheels in his head turning, and I smiled.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

It was late, not sure the exact time but I stood by the door, watching Sam pace the parking lot, cell pressed to his ear as he talked to Dean, probably about everything that went down at dinner, or not. They seemed to have their own way of communicating, of dealing with a situation, but then again it could be a case that Dean caught, or something as stupid as "dude, she moaned on the phone", I don't know, it was all speculation from where I stood.

Danni cleared her throat as I looked down at the Skype screen on my phone (the one I had finally gotten fixed by the way, during a quick pitstop on the way home from Lawrence.) Surprisingly it was a pretty good phone for a gas station burner, and the picture was crisp and clear.

"He still pacing?" She questioned and I moved away from the door, sitting down at the table to use my coffee cup to prop the phone up so I didn't have to hold it at a weird angle.

"Yeah, with that Sam Winchester face on, you know the one where he's about to go kick someone's ass just for the sheer pleasure of it?" I answered and put my foot up on the other chair. "Did you find the tree?"

"Yeah and get this, there's a Kennedy in it, more importantly it tells me where and when my Dad's family came over to America." Danni put the paper in front of her and took a breath. "Listen to this and let me know if any of them sound familiar. "Cambridge, Mass 1648, Ellis, Andrus, Shaw. Farmington, Connecticut."

"They all sound familiar, I know every town in both states." I sighed and tilted my head back, paused for a moment and then sat up straight, "wait, did you say Ellis?"

"Yeah, why?"

"What year was that?"

Danni held the paper up and ran down the list of names, her eyes scanned it over twice before she made a motion. "Ellis, 1876, Newington, Connecticut." Her eyes caught mine even on the screen. "Why?"

"No," I whispered to myself, my thoughts going back to an old history lesson where we had to look up your family tree. "That's too much."

"Ali?" she questioned, a bit of scolding in her voice, and I focused on her again, "spill."

"Ellis was my great grandmother maiden name on my dad's side, her mother Laura Ellis married my great grandfather, in Newington, Connecticut." I sighed and shook my head. The connection was too much of a coincidence and I rubbed my hands over my face, before looking at her. "There's more, isn't there?"

"Yeah, part of my family came from Ireland," she announced.

"And Crowley is Scottish, what does one have to do with the other," but as I replied, the thought kicked into my head. "Crap, celtic magic." Danni nodded and I took a peek out the window at the still pacing Winchester. "Where's Dean anyway?"

"Outside leaning on the front of Baby, chatting away with Sam," she answered, a small grin on her face. "You wouldn't think two siblings who have only been away from each other for what, ten hours, would have so much to talk about."

"Totally wouldn't think that at all," I replied sarcastically with a smile. "So besides tearing up the house to find this little gem, anything exciting happen today?"

"You mean besides finally having some time alone with a certain Winchester and investigating the property?"

"Okay, eww, no visual needed, but yeah."

"Well, there was this one thing, it was kind of weird."

"Weird huh?" I snickered and grabbed a bottle of water from the table. "Weird is the story of my life, so what do you got?"

"Remember what happens with unhallowed ground?"

"Sure, dead grass, usually in a circular pattern, includes trees and anything in the area?" Danni stared at me for a moment, her lips tight. "What?"

"The fact that you can rattle off any supernatural information two seconds after I mention it amazes me, you're like a living encyclopedia of all things, well...weird." She grinned and I knew she was only picking on me, but I couldn't help but think of what Cas said, about the supernatural surrounding her in subtle ways. "Anyway, this popped up in the middle of the south field."

"Like south or southeast?" I questioned and watched her shrug.

"It probably shouldn't matter but no, due south." I watched her take a peek outside before she got up, poured herself a coffee and sat back down again. "The weirdest thing is, I was out in that pasture the other day."

"Wait, isn't that the one we walked through yesterday?"

"Yeah and no dead spots."

I ran my hand through my hair, "yeah, you're right, weird. Did you tell Dean?"

"What, that some damn demon or something came up from the ground?" She laughed, "not a chance in hell!"

"You should, Dan, and you probably should soon."

"Why, you getting a feeling?"

"This whole thing is one gigantic _feeling_ but just to be on the safe side, it's probably best to let him know before something happens."

"Damn you for always being right," she scolded with a laugh and I looked up as Sam stepped in the door, his cell in hand, patting it against his palm. "Sam walked in, didn't he?"

"Yeah," I smiled and watched as he gave me a small one back. "So," I turned back to look at the screen, "plans, theories, gateways to hell?"

"None of the above, well, maybe a theory, but I'm not sure on all the details." She looked up at the screen door squeaked and Dean walked by the camera. "As far as I can tell there's no sulfur smell, but that doesn't mean anything since it's in the middle of nowhere and less than 24 hours old. No demonic signs either."

"Red lightning, cows, change in weather patterns?" I questioned and watched Sam sit on the bed with a questioning look on his face.

"No invisible dogs, signs of red-eyed Hell Kings, or even a blip on my supernatural radar. Nope, just a damn dead circle of grass." I took a breath and listened to the chair on the other end pull out as Dean sat down at the table. "How about you, anything?"

"Yeah, a devil's trap on your porch and salt on all the windows, otherwise without other signs I got nothing."

"Unhallowed ground?" Sam questioned and I nodded in his direction. "Huh," his usual answer for going into his head to think about all the possibilities, but Dean cut him to the chase by grabbing the phone and turning it to him.

"We're talking the circle in the south field?" He questioned and suddenly I longed for a touch, just a simple caress from him, just to feel safe, but I straightened myself out and gave just a nod. "I didn't get anything from it, the grass doesn't even have a hint of the smell and there's no sulfur dust anywhere near it."

"Okay, so demons are ruled out." Sam spoke up.

"Yeah," I whispered, "not so much." He snapped his head up to look at me as I faded off to my own thoughts and closed my eyes. "Dead zones like that can be just portals, not so much unhallowed ground, which means it's an opening for them to get through, so the signs would be minimum, and with 24 hours between when we were last there to when you found it, the wind could have blown all the evidence away."

"She not wrong," Dean sighed and when I opened my eyes, I saw Sam nod in agreement. "So, what, Crowley came to send Azeel's ass back to hell and he blew the gates wide open for other demons?"

"What if he didn't?" Sam spoke up. "What if the gateway is only meant to be for him?"

"For Crowley?" Danni questioned.

"Yeah," Sam grabbed a chair and came to sit by me as the two of us fit on the screen and Dean angled it so both he and Danni were there, "think about it, if Crowley wanted to protect the girls, he would have to do it by opening up a hole so he could get out."

"He never needed a way out of hell before." I stated and watched as Sam gave me just a quick glance.

"He wasn't in his usual suit either," Sam added.

"Point taken," I sighed and thought for a moment, "so Crowley needed a door to ride another demon's ass out of hell but the portal is only mean to be, what, a one-way ticket?"

"It's possible." Sam shrugged and I watched Dean roll his eyes.

"I'll get the spray paint," he growled.

"I have salt in the bottom of the cabinet, like a lot of salt." Danni replied and she looked at me as Dean disappeared off the camera. "We'll talk soon."

"Go get it done, sis." I whispered and watched her nod, but the frown appeared on her lips. "Stay safe."

"You too." She gave me a little grin and off went the camera.

I sat back and closed my eyes.

The blue-green orbs that met mine when I finally decided to open them were full of emotions, mostly that of being apologetic but I didn't let him get a word out before I closed the distance, crushing my lips down on his, locking us together like a perfectly cut puzzle. Sam's hand came up as he sighed and placed his fingers along my neck, before he slipped it behind my hair and held me there while he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me onto his lap.

Yeah, I really liked where the was going.

I woke with a start, the night finally closing in on me not more than an hour before, and could feel Sam's warm naked body surrounding me, but that wasn't what shook me from the much-needed sleep, it was the eyes on me, just that feeling that pulled me from it.

I couldn't make out who it was, couldn't see the actual face of the person that stood in the corner of the room, but as I sat up, pulling the sheet to my chest, I could feel my heart thumping hard against my ribs. Whoever this was felt familiar, almost like we had met before, and all I did for a moment was stare, trying to catch my breath as my hand reached for the spectrum blade that sat on the nightstand. It shook its head. _He_ shook _his_ head, stepping out from the shadows, his eyes a piercing yellow as he looked over the man beside me and a smile crossed his face.

 _So, you're the one?_ His voice, a strange mix of Sam's knowledgeable tone and Dean's deep protective growl filled my head. _Don't worry, I'm not going to harm you._

 _Demon... in my room... watching me… do you really think that makes me want to trust you?_ I replied, using my thoughts, hoping it wouldn't draw too much attention to what was going and stir Sam from his sleep, something I really should have done.

 _Well, I did save your life once, what would be the point in ending it now?_ Confusion clouded my thoughts as he smiled, a complete Dean grin, and I realized who I was looking at. _I came to warn you._

 _About what? A demon in my room, Crowley up to no good? Maybe the fact that he made a pact to use me and Danni to destroy the princes? You?_ Because, yeah, I was absolutely sure I knew who I was looking at now.

 _Your sister is in trouble, her life is in danger. Dean needs Sam._

 _So why hasn't he called?_

 _He doesn't know yet, I was only able to break away from the angel long enough to warn you and when Castiel comes, you need to let Sam go, it's the only way to make sure that Danni remains safe._ I watched as he faded back into the shadows, not faded away but as if he blended in with them, until only those yellow eyes remained. _Remember Ali, you need to let Sam go._

That was the last thing I heard before he vanished, and along with him went the feeling of being watched, the evil feeling of danger in the room. But one question filled my mind, one thing bothered me about the whole conversation and I could help but wonder, why did John Winchester suddenly decide I was the one that needed to be warned?

I was still staring at the wall when the phone beside Sam shrilled through the night, the sound making me jump suddenly as I turned in his direction. Sam closed his eyes tightly, stirred from his sleep and blinked away the dryness as he looked at me with just a hint of confusion, and turned, snatching the phone from the stand. He clicked the screen, pressed the speaker button and placed it down between us, his fingers tracing the bare length of my back.

"Dean?" Sam questioned, his voice full of concern.

"Sammy, we got problems," Dean announced, and I could hear the rumble of Baby's engine as he stepped on the gas. In the background, Danni's voice pleaded with him to go faster, as if they were racing away from something.

"Dean, what's going on?" Sam questioned, suddenly getting up. I watched him go into action mode and before I knew it he was dressed, commando style, buttoning his jeans as he finished pulling on his shirt. I was too stunned to move, but he looked me over and handed me something, but they didn't even register as my clothes before I found myself slipping them on.

What the hell was Sam going to do 700 miles away from his brother?

I watched as Sam found his gun, his knife and put the phone down. Dean's voice called out over the sound of the racing engine.

"Hellhounds, and demons, lots of them and not Crowley's little pet either, she's actually the reason we got away." Dean answered as they raced down the road. "I don't know what happened, Sammy, there were no signs, no warnings, the damn things came out of the darkness. Is there even that many people in Vinita to get possessed?"

"Dean, where's Danni?" I questioned, thinking back to what John the Yellow Eyes had said, even though I had heard her on the line.

"She's right here, Angel," he replied, his voice trying to stay calm.

"Where are you going?" Sam questioned, tying his boots up.

"Lebanon, Sammy, we're headed for the bunker!"

"Good, Ali and I will meet you there!" I watched him snatch the keys from the table, the keys to my rental car.

"No!" Dean snapped. "Sammy, you have to make sure she's safe. Get her home, once we get to the bunker, there's not a chance in hell anything is getting in, but Ali needs to make it home."

"Not going to happen," I spoke up, suddenly alive and animated as I finished getting dressed and stood up moving closer to the phone.

"What?" both Sam and Dean snapped at the same time. I reached out and put my hand on Sam's chest. "You need to go with him, you need to help your brother. Trust me when I say that it's very important to keep Danni safe, not me."

"Are you out of your tree?" Dean yelled over the line.

"Shut up and listen," I answered back. "For some reason, they peg her as the weakest link in this, not that she is at all, in fact she's far from it, but she's the target now, not me. She needs to be protected."

"Like hell I do!" She chimed in and this got me to smiled. "Listen chick, I don't need to be surrounded by a couple of hunters to be safe, one is enough! I can hold my own."

"Please, just… just trust me, okay. I'll explain everything later but Danni, you know I wouldn't do this if I thought otherwise, but they're after you for a reason." I turned from the phone that I had been staring at to look up at Sam. "Just protect her."

"How? How am I going to get there and leave you without a car?" Sam's hands came up and he rested them gently on my shoulders.

I closed my eyes, pictured Cas in my mind and let the quiet prayer out to him. I knew he was listening, he had been in my head so much there was no way he wasn't tuned into the need that I had right now. I heard the swoosh of his wings as he entered the room, felt Sam stiffen at the noise and opened my eyes.

"No!" He snapped shaking his head. "I'm not going to leave you." His eyes filled with anger, and love and… loss, but I took hold of the hands that held me. "I…"

"You can, Sam, you have to." I swallowed back the emotions as his eyes filled with pain, caught between staying and going, and in order to deal, he suddenly brought his lips crushing down to mine.

It was a passionate, possessive kiss that was meant to make me remember, not that I would ever forget the feeling of him, but he wanted that to be forever there, the only kiss I ever felt for the rest of my life, incase this was the end of his. When he backed away, he pressed his forehead to mine, his breathing heavy and I could feel his heart racing when I pressed my hand against it.

"I love you!" his tone was forceful, as if he didn't think I would believe it when he said he was leaving, that he had to go with Dean, but I knew it, felt it in every fiber of my being.

"I love you too, Sam, that's not going to change but you have to go!" I answered, my chest suddenly hurting from the thought of separation as I glanced at the angel in the room. I backed away from him, holding tightly to his hands as the tears began to run hot down my cheeks. "Dean! Sam's coming. Cas is bringing him straight to you, so keep your mental GPS on and don't be a douche and block him!"

"Really? Cas? You're sending Sam with Cas, how the hell are you even going to get a hold of him?"

"Hello, Dean." Cas spoke up, stepping closer to Sam and I could hear the frustrated huff on the line, but Cas turned to Sam as the Winchester stared me down, even as the angel looked at him. "Sam, she's right, you have to protect Danni, you have to be with your brother. I swear I will watch over her, I'll make sure she gets there in one piece."

Wrong choice of words, Castiel. I sighed and watched Sam's eyes snap up to him.

"How can I trust you with her? I mean a hundred percent?" I watched Sam's fist start to curl and I purposely put my body between them, facing Sam.

"Sam," I whispered, reached up and cupped his cheek, bringing those fire-filled eyes to mine. "I trust him, and I know just as much magic as you do."

"Theoretically," Sam growled.

"Listen, stop being so pigheaded and do what I tell you to!" I snapped, the anger flaring in me. "Go to your brother, dammit, and save my sister!"

Again, he sealed his emotions with a kiss, this time longing and love filled it completely before he abruptly stepped back, putting arm space between us, his chest heaving and his lips parted in pain as he stared me down, setting the keys on the table behind him.

"I love you!" his lips moved soundlessly as Cas reached out a hand and Sam looked down at it just in time for the two of them to disappear from the room, Sam's cell disappearing along with them.

As soon as the room was silent, I let out the breath that I was holding, along with the tears and the sudden loss as the pain filled my chest and I found myself on my knees, my eyes locked on the spot where Sam had just been.

He was gone, my sister was in danger, and Dean was fighting to stay in control.

What the hell had I done?


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Cas stood in the room, I could feel him looking over my shoulder as I stuffed things into my bag, in fact I even stuffed some of Sam's things in there too. I didn't really care, but after a few minutes of being stared at, I turned to him and placed a hand on the bag that I had been packing.

"I assume he arrived safe?" I questioned, void of all emotions. Yeah, I had spent more than an hour on that floor weeping them out before I decided there was no use staying the rest of the night. It was time to move.

"Yes, Sam is safely with Dean and Danni," he answered, walking closer to me. I nodded and went back to packing. "I managed to get the Impala and its occupants to the bunker unharmed, but it took a lot out of me, I can't go back to where I was before you called."

"You were with John, you can say it." I whispered and listened to him exhale. "I know because John was here, he was the one that told me to let Sam go."

"You listened to John Winchester and left yourself vulnerable?" Cas questioned confused, but I turned back to him.

"I followed my gut and it told me that John was right, so, no lectures, okay?" I zipped the bag and placed it by the keys before slipping the Walther in the back of my jeans. "If you can't pop out, then you're going to have to come with because I'm not staying."

"Sam will call soon," Cas whispered.

"And he'll know that you're keeping your word because your ass will be sitting beside me in a car," I retorted and watched his lips thin. "Listen, Cas, don't argue with me, just… just do it."

"I can only promise to stay with you until I'm back to full strength, I was _watching_ John, not with him." I rolled my eyes at him, scanned the room for any unpacked items and grabbed the bag and the keys before walking out into the rising morning sun. I slipped the keys into the return box for the office and tossed my back in the trunk. "Are you stopping for breakfast?"

"Why? You hungry?" I looked over the roof of the car as opened the door.

"No," he said pointedly, "but you should eat before you drive."

"There's a drive-thru somewhere around here," I shrugged and we both slipped into the car.

It was quiet when I started it up, and part of me had hoped that it would sound like Baby, but no luck, just a quiet little engine that could. I looked over at Cas, put my seatbelt on and backed out of the space, headed towards I-70 north.

Two hours into the drive, the cell on the dash rings and Sam's number pops up on the monitor. Quickly, I reached over and pressed the accept button.

"Sam?" I spoke softly, my voice cracked with the sudden rush of emotions that washed over me.

"We're safe, Ali, all three of us," he answered and I felt every muscle in my body relaxed. "I didn't want to go."

"I know," I blinked quickly, focusing on the road. "Any news on what the hell happened?"

I could feel Cas' eyes on me as I watched the road, he was just as curious as I was. Sam cleared his throat and I could almost picture him stepping out of whatever room he was in and heading up to the library, where he grabbed his usual seat at the table.

"The cats started acting crazy again, so Dean went to check it out…"

"You guys really need to watch some horror movies." I mumbled, interrupting him, but I heard him give a small chuckle.

"I guess they were coming down from the garage, probably the last place that anything supernatural happened so they were just drawn there."

"That's pretty much where Azeel bit it," I shrugged.

"Yeah, you're right, that's probably exactly it," he sighed and I could hear him rubbing his hands together as if he were cold. "So, Dean grabbed Danni and hauled ass to the Impala, got strapped in and they attacked."

"From across the field? Were they meta demons? I mean how did they get that far that fast?"

"No clue, I'm just going on what they told me." Just then the navigation kicked in telling me to keep left to merge onto the next highway. "They watched it happen, Juliette, or whatever the hell Crowley's hellhound is called, started ripping demons apart and Dean got on the road, and on the phone. They weren't far from Vinita headed north when he called."

"The bunker's what, six hours away from her?" I questioned, glancing down at the miles I had left, before glancing at Cas. Ugh, I was going to need another coffee.

"Well, not by angel air," Sam stated sarcastically and I smiled, glancing at Cas who just gave me an angel's version of rolling his eyes. "How's the drive going?"

"Slow, but steady and I have the best silent companion along with me. Protective but so not the chatty Kathy I expected."

"My name is Castiel," he replied a bit confused and this made me smile.

"It's a term for someone who likes to talk a lot." I explained and watched as he nodded, before resuming to stare at me. "How's Danni?"

"Fine, Dean gave her something to help her relax, so I think she's sleeping."

"Whiskey?"

"No," he laughed, "Xanax, I think."

"Okay, you know... I'm just gonna keep my Against Medical Advice to myself and let that one go." I said as I shook my head. There was a moment of silence between us as I bit my lip, not sure on the question that popped into my head.

"Ali," Sam spoke breaking the quiet of the car, "you can ask about Dean, you know."

"I didn't want to," I admitted and all emotions drained from my face.

"I get it, but he's family and you are more than able to be concerned for him, about him. Hell, we all are. Dean tends to keep things locked in, and yeah, sometimes we have to break through to get him to open up. With you though, apparently, he can't keep it shut and that's a good thing. I love my brother, I love you and if you can help him, I'm all for it."

"That's noble, Sam but I don't think you understand the extent…"

"Ali, you love my brother, I get that, I really do and I know his tendencies, so just… just stop. Okay?" I nodded though he couldn't see it and slowly I exhaled.

"So, how is he?"

"Pissed off," he started, "afraid, though he won't admit it. Hating himself for the demon attack, hating himself for me leaving you, and generally being a complete ass, you know, his normal bitchy self."

"I'll call and talk to him later, maybe that will help. I'm at about the halfway point." I whispered, not wanting to admit that there was something in the air, but Cas's stare told me something was up. I muted the phone and looked at the angel. "What is it?"

"How much do you know about your Sam and Dean?" I looked at him oddly, that was just a weird question, and apparently, my expression was enough to keep him going, "how much do you know about _this_ Sam and Dean?"

"Cas, what the hell?" I growled and pulled over to the side of the road, into a truck stop and put the car in park. With a stern stare at the man beside me, I pushed the button, unmuting Sam's call. "Sammy, I'll call you back, we're running into traffic and I don't want to be on the phone through it."

"Okay," he said, unsure. "Be safe."

"I will," I smiled and looked at the phone, "I love you."

"I love you too," he said with a bit of a hitch in his voice. And I watched the line go dead.

With a sigh, I turned to Cas, "okay, spit it out, what's going on?"

"There's things you should know about the timeline of this Sam and Dean as opposed to the one you saw in the show," he stated and turned in the seat. "Important details that may have been left out."

"I know there are differences, Cas, but they aren't anything I can't handle, that Danni can't deal with."

"Yes, but this has to do with Sam," I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I listened to Cas. "Sam is not the man you know in the show."

"I get that."

"No, you don't understand. I've watched your boys, your actors and the way that portray how Sam was when he was younger, smart, crafty and more reasonable than Dean but this Sam, the one you're in love with, that wasn't his childhood." Curiosity was always my downfall and I found myself tuning him in more. "As you know, Sam was infected with demon blood when he was a baby, six months, but here, in reality, that wasn't his purpose for being in the Winchester house that night, it was something more than that, but with the blood mixing with his, Sam became part of that world, but it didn't wait until he was twenty-two to kick in, Ali, he was volatile from the beginning."

"So, Sam was…"

"A monster, essentially," Cas replied and I felt my mouth drop. No, that was not exactly what I expected to hear but yeah, I could go with it and see where the angel was leading to next. "As soon as Sam was mobile the littlest thing would set him off, and not just slightly. Sam had no remorse for anything that he did. He was the perfect hunter, and John took advantage of that, training them like soldiers but Dean always was the one to defuse Sam when it came to it, when the need was there. Dean was the one that stopped Sam from becoming the thing they hunted."

"Jesus, it's like Soulless Sam all over again," I whispered and took a deep breath. "So, Sam had anger issues, my son was dead set to take off someone's head with a bat when he was younger before he learned to control it, so what, he seems to have it well under control now."

"He doesn't," Cas sighed. "Haven't you ever wondered why Dean keeps you so close, why he's always touching you? It's not for the contact, it's to make sure that Sam didn't harm you."

"That's a load of crap!" I snapped and swallowed hard, but it made sense.

Maybe Dean's affections towards me had stemmed from the need to protect me from the vampires, but now he was more concerned with the need to protect me from Sam. But then again, Sam was always in control around me, at least with me, even though I had seen that darkness in him. I shook my head and turned to look out the window. There was no way that I was going to accept this as the truth. There was no indication that Sam was still having issues with the demon blood in his system.

"What about hell? Did Sam go to hell?"

"Yes, and Crowley raised him back up, soulless but how do you think he survived so long being that way if he wasn't a hint of it before?" Cas stated and this made me turn to him. I hadn't thought of that before, even the transition back to having a soul seemed like a cakewalk to the boy on the show, but I never figured out how Sam did it here. "There wasn't much in the way of emotions, those wrong or right tendencies for him to slip back into. Sam, here, knows one thing, and one thing only, Dean will always come first, or at least he knew that until he met you. Ali, you need to use caution with him, there is something inside of you that tugs at Sam, that draws him in, just like it does Dean, but Dean feels the need to protect you, to keep that tangible link, Sam draws off you, feeds from your past."

"Are you telling me that loving Sam is dangerous?" I questioned and watched him frown.

"I'm telling you that Sam himself is dangerous, that there is no going back for him if that darkness is flipped. Before this is all over, we could lose him for good if we're not careful. It's the reason I watch John, the need to keep him from slipping over the edge. I won't lose my brother again, Ali," Cas whispered, which had me looking at him, as he took in a deep breath, "I've lost too many already and the world needs every Winchester it can keep."

There was no true way to process everything he was saying to me, which he continued to do after letting me know he wasn't going to lose Sam if he could help it, but half of it I didn't remember and the other half I wish I forgot, like the truth behind Azazel's presence in the house the night that Mary Winchester died, but it explained so much.

This Sam and Dean, this duo was definitely darker than anything I could have imagined, but the things that were different weren't things I couldn't live with and I told myself that as I pushed them to the back of my head.

When he finished, I nodded, didn't say a word and pulled out into traffic, dead set on making my way home, back to some sort of resemblance of normal, but I knew it wouldn't ever be the same again, not with what I had planned to do next, not with the knowledge that I now held of Sam and Dean, but again, it was something I was going to live with.

After all, we all had our demons.

Life seemed to happen so fast when I got home that it seemed that time never stopped, in fact it sped up, so much to the point where my days began to run into each other. Days and nights didn't separate, there wasn't dates, but events.

My first hunt was something I stumbled on, after collecting all of the tools that I remembered having for any situation that came up. I still packed the Walther, complete with vampire killing bullets, and Dean had managed to send along some witch ones in the mail. I found silver ones at a local shop, finding hunters in my own area, something that I truly didn't think was a real thing but Jones seemed to be the best in Western Mass, but he promised to send some things my way, especially when he found out that I knew the Winchesters.

So, my first hunt, as I was saying, was stumbled on when I was in Jones' shop, he was looking for some rare herb in the background in order to help me seal a special room that I was making. It was the last ingredient and the spell would be complete, great news for me, bad news for him since he had searched the internet for two days only to find it in Boston on a random trip but he had hidden it in the backroom.

As I looked through the shop, waiting on the man, I happened to notice the newspaper sitting on the desk and a strange article about a housefire in a town not more than twenty minutes from me. The cause of the fire was under investigation and though they were pretty sure it was just electrical, the paper also stated that there had been a rash of those same kinds of fires over the last two weeks in the same area.

Great, sounded like my kind of thing.

I stashed the paper and smiled as Jones handed me the wooden box that held my herbs. Making a rather hasty retreat, I thanked him and was on my way out the door and headed toward home before I knew what was going on. Yeah, I had caught the hunting bug and it was bad.

Research got me in pretty deep about the history of the surrounding area and I noticed the pattern right off the bat. It was one of the towns that had incorporated some of the families from the days when the Quabbin Reservoir was being flooded and four towns were taken down. This particular case echoed ones that had happened nearly every two decades, which is why no one found the pattern until now.

My need to investigate got the best of me and I headed out once the kids were safely at their father's house for their weekend visit. This was my time and I needed to see what I could do to keep myself safe. With all the knowledge of the spells I had worked on in the last few weeks, I decided that I was ready.

How wrong could I possibly be?

The house was in shambles when I pulled up, a dark shell of the old Victorian home. It had been beautiful once, but now half if it was black as coal with fire damage and the rest had the windows boarded up. There wasn't any police presence in the area and slipping in was relatively easy, accept when I made it to the basement.

The fire had nearly destroyed the old foundation but the evidence of just what was going on was there in front of me. If you didn't know the supernatural world, you would have never known what to look for. An old cellar hole, a vegetable cellar hole, stood out against the blackness and I made a beeline for it. Something pulled me there and I clicked on the LED light to better find my way without tripping over something or causing the rest of the house to cave in.

Rock shells filled the small sawed-off that I carried, but the line of salt I put around the entrance of the hole would keep them or it inside. A real tire iron was strapped to the side of my jeans by a clip that seemed to hold it well and the backpack I carried had the accelerating I needed to get this thing moving.

Just as I thought, in the back of the hole was a hollowed-out spot in the wall that, with a bit of help from the light, let me see the cloth wrapped bag of bones that lay there and I made quick work of dousing it with lighter fluid, but as I tried to light the matches, something grabbed me from behind and tossed me against the wall, spilling the box on the ground. I fought to keep focused on the ever-shifting specter before me until I could pinpoint its pattern, which is the point where I swung, no need for the shells this was too much of an enclosed space, but the iron worked just as well.

I was able to move with as much confidence as I could, trying my best not to get myself tripped up and finally grabbed a handful of the matches, just as I was once again, tossed across the room, this time closer to the hole instead of further away from it. I got a good look at the ghost this time, the ragged way she was dressed, the matted mess of her hair and then I saw the slit across her throat. No wonder she was pissed, she had been murdered and stuffed in a hole.

"Are there anymore of you?" I asked out loud and watched as she grimaced, before giving what I assumed was a nod of her head. "Where? Let me set you free, let me send you home."

She pointed to the four directions of the recent fires and I shook my head. What the hell had this town gotten into and how long had it been going on for. By her dress, this one had been in the wall for more than half a century, what was I going to find when I was able to get to the others. Her arms lowered as she seemed to flicker in and out but as I raised the matches to strike the cement wall, she didn't move, she didn't come after me, in fact I swear I saw relief in her eyes.

With one quick swipe, six wooden matches flared to life and with one last look at the woman in the black torn dressed, I tossed them into the hole, watching the bag of bones burst into bright orange flames. She flickered again before standing there silent, burning as her corpse did and she smiled.

With a deep breath, I grabbed as much of my stuff as I could and ran out the open hatch, ducking into the trees as the rest of the house, dry from waiting on the demolition crew to take it down, began to smolder and before I knew it, as I trekked the eighth of a mile, the whole house was up in flames. With a sigh, I slipped into the waiting vehicle and took a deep breath.

I thought I knew what vengeful spirits were, I thought that this would have been an easy salt and burn but seriously, like I said before, how wrong could I possibly be.

It took me another week to clean up the other four houses, and while keeping track of the activity on a map, I found that each one became points in a pentagram. I was dealing with witches, or would have been if they were still in the area.

I wasn't a hunter yet, and by the end of it, I was sore as hell, but this case was a good start.

May faded quickly, with the constant phone calls from the boys and Danni, which was a blessing and a curse, and the time spent researching the supernatural, it all became a blur. And then there was the hunts of course, ones that seemed to fall in my lap, and ones that were given to me by Carol, who I had entrusted to keep an eye on the strange happenings in the area. Sam himself couldn't keep up with the amount of cold cases that Carol found and connected to what was now my norm, a realm of demons, vampires, monsters and ghost, all in my area.

Video chats with Sam were my only way of connecting with him and I missed his touch as much as I missed breathing, should I have to hold my breath that long, but I was always curious about what Cas had told me about his past. I decided it was better talked about in person, if I ever got to see him again.

Speaking of the past, I didn't lose sight of the it though, especially the one that concerned me and Danni. While the Devil's trap graced the ceiling above the door in invisible paint and the sigils that lined the interior of the house kept my children safe, the locked and seal room in the basement kept the secret from them that I wasn't ready to share. This was what the herb from Jones' store was for, to protect this secret from the outside world and lock in the information that it contained.

It looked like a crime board in the small, makeshift bunker that occupied the furthest 12x12 area of the room, blocked off by self-made walls and a sturdy locked door, each square foot protected by something that I had been able to pull from my mind, a spell, a symbol in Enochian or some Latin inscription that to others would make no sense along with the symbol "AO-III", a blood magic spell that I couldn't get out of my head no matter how I tried.

And that, in itself, made me worry.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Dark Hunters Season 1 Finale

It was less than two weeks after we parted that it happened, after the room in the basement was secure and the wards had all been placed, that was when the lies began. Okay, so maybe they weren't lies, but the fact that Danni was now at the bunker with the boys, (her home having been invaded by demons kind of put the dampers on her going back, but the animals were safe and in good hands), put a strain on the way we worked on our history. That is until a certain angel had a brilliant idea.

I had walked down the stairs half-past midnight after a text message came through that to "meet me in the research room" from Danni, so, with a mug of coffee in hand, because I knew I was in for a long night, I stepped down into the darkness. The auto-lights I had installed clicked on as I moved closer to the room and as I drew on the door, pressed my finger on the trigger point, I heard it click, releasing the lock to get inside.

When I pushed the door back, the lights in the room were already on and in the middle of the floor, standing around the small table that was covered in books was Danni and Cas.

"Okay," I spoke up, closing the door tightly behind me. I pointed to Cas, "you're supposed to be on demon Dad watch and you," I pointed at Danni, "I'm pretty sure you're supposed to have a Winchester wrapped around you. How late is it in Lebanon?"

"Not nearly late enough," Danni smiled and I reached out, pulling her into my arms. "Sam and Dean are on a hunt in Vail, Colorado."

"Ooh, Vail," I smirked, moving back and watched her grin, "sounds ominous. What are our boys hunting this week?"

"A Changeling," Cas interjected and both Danni and I looked at him. "And yes, I was watching John Winchester, however, he's been locked down in a cabin since he paid you a visit. I haven't been close enough to see what he's doing but he hasn't left. I assumed it was safe to answer Danni's call."

"Danni's call?" I looked back at my sister in wonder, "you called Cas?"

"He was the fastest means of transportation and I think he's going to be a great help," she shrugged and looked over at him. My eyes landed on the angel, who had pulled out a seat and was looking up at us as innocent as possible.

"With research?"

"With anything, Cas will be our eyes and ears on the family tree thing." Danni pointed to the chair on the other side of the table as she sat down. Before I did the same, I started the coffee pot in the basement and let it brew as I sat with my still steaming mug. "Okay, so before you start gettin pissy…"

"Probably too late for that but go ahead," I answered and took a sip, trying to stay calm.

Danni sighed, rolled her eyes and let them rest right back on me. Yep, she was definitely picking up some Dean-isms. "Okay, so here's the deal, we need information and I can't go back home to get it. All we have is what I sent over to you about the names and dates and all you got is your dad's family line up until 1843, not far enough back."

"Yeah, I get that," I sighed, "but what does Feathers here have to do with our family tree?"

"It's simple really," Cas spoke up, "you need to go further back to get the information you need, I can do that for you."

"Okay, one," I sat forward and put on my best game face before turning to Cas, "you are not on the Winchester's good side as it is, why are you going to do something to piss them off more?" and then I moved on to Danni, "and are you willing to lie to Dean to keep this up, the tension between Cas and the boys is strained enough."

"Sam knows," Danni said pointedly.

"What?" I had to put the cup down, in fact I had to push it away to give myself some breathing room, "what do you mean he knows? Knows what?"

"Sam knows about your research," Cas spoke up, and I felt like I was playing table tennis with the way my head was whipping back and forth.

"The bloodline research, yeah, I tell him about it every time he calls, so?"

"No, Ali, he knows about the research you've been doing into the Princes, the yellow-eyed demons? Azazel?" I sat back in the chair and took a deep breath as I licked my lips, turning away. "What are you trying to do? He's put that in the past."

"What I do with my own research isn't always about Sam," I whispered, and it really wasn't but the fact that Sam's mother had died from the bastard and his father got a crap deal from him didn't help the situation at all. "There's other reasons to look into them, not just Sam's past, but…" I wasn't sure how to put this, "I think Crowley's plan has something to do with them and I need to know everything I can about them, biblically and mythologically."

"Why not say then?"

"Sam doesn't need to know why," I sighed.

"Yeah, I think he does," she leaned on the table.

"And Dean needs to know you made a deal with an angel to get history done on our family, that, oh by the way, happens to be connected to the yellow-eyed son of a bitch that killed his mother. Seriously, Danni, we're not kidding anyone here, both of us have majorly screwed up and when those boys find out, they're going to be pissed as hell."

"If they find out," she said as she raised an eyebrow.

"Not if, Dan, _when_ ," I gave her a nod. "They're both geniuses, with IQs higher than probably Steve Jobs and Jackie Chan."

"The karate guy?" I rolled my eyes at her, knowing she was just being a pain in my ass. "I don't like it any more than you do, Ali, but we have to dig deep and if this is the way we're going to have to do it, than we'll make it work."

"We should just tell them," I sighed and thought of Dean and his trust issues, but then again, I also thought of what he would do if he found out. "No, you're right, he'd kill us."

"Who?" Danni smiled.

"Dean," I groaned and sat back. Cas had taken it upon himself to pour us all a cup of coffee, well to reheat mine, and that was where the plan began.

As the month wore on, the visits became twice a week things, with the involvement of Carol and her knowledge of how to get around the worldwide web. Honestly, I think I could do it but there was no way I had that much time between hunting and the kids to do anything more than in depth.

Cas scanned the world for more information about our families, he dug so deep into history that he barely made it out a few times and when he came back, he was never quite the same. A little more was taken out of him than before, as if those perfect wings were molting and he was losing just a little more of his grace each time.

I knew how this went, how helpless he was without it, I had seen it, even if it was just on a show but this was now our Cas and I wasn't going to let him keep doing what he intended to do. He wanted to make things right, he wanted to show Sam and Dean that he could protect us, but he was going about it all the wrong way, by putting himself in danger and weakening himself as well.

I had to find a way to stop this and I knew I had to do it soon.

Above the noise of my own blood rushing through my veins, I could hear the rhythmic tick of the wood against the padded pole as I went through the drills I had started with a cane. I had been tripped up during a ghost hunt, one that almost got me a broken leg but I had been lucky enough to escape, only because the lighter had a mind of its own and _finally_ decided that catching a spark would be a good idea.

I felt the eyes on the back of me before I heard anything else and slowly I brought the cane down standing it beside me as I turned and looked at the suited angel. Cas looked me over, sports bra, leggings and wooden staff beside me and he gave me a questioning expression.

"Cas, what are you doing here? It's the middle of the day." I watched his face grow stoic and I swallowed. "Did something happen to the boys? To Danni?"

"No, and no, all three of them are fine, but there is something we need to talk about." I placed the staff beside the post and walked over, grabbing a towel as I went. "Ali, something is coming."

"Yeah, I kind of got that when Crowley made a deal with my grandmother to keep me safe, so tell me something I didn't know." I sat on the chair across from him and sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap, Sam has been radio silent for three days and it's bothering me."

"They're in New Mexico," he replied, his eyes narrowing, "if I remember correctly Chupacabras weren't actual monsters, but from what I understand that's what they're after."

"Anything can be a monster, Cas, you should get that by now." I smiled and watched as he nodded in agreement. "So, this thing that's coming?"

"It's not good," I wanted to roll my eyes at him, I really did, but he could already see my frustration as I watched his lips grow thin. "Remember what I told you, about their past, about the differences in the timeline, the way the Sam and Dean on the show were compared to the ones we have in our reality."

"Yeah, who would forget that little bit of information?" It was a story that would come to light sooner than any of us realized and the repercussions of it could be catastrophic, but I kept that to myself as I watched the glow in his blue eyes. "What do you need me to do, Cas?"

"When Sam comes, and he will, you need to go with him. It is imperative that the four of you are together in order for this to work." He stood and headed towards the door. "They need to keep you safe."

"So, it's one of those things again? Our lives are in danger, in swoop the Winchesters to save our asses?" I questioned.

"No," his growled deeply, "it's more like we need you and Danni to save ours."

And with that, he was gone. I reached for the phone, hit Danni's speed dial and listened as she picked up the line.

"Al? Everything okay?" Was what I got from the other end. As I moved into the research room, I stared up at the three full walls of research into our family and I sighed.

"I think it's beginning," I answered and stopped at the last piece of paper on the board, an old certificate, one that outlined a blade, a set of blades actually. It not only gave the dimensions of them the magical properties as well. On the paper was the symbol that I had been warding my house with, that kept my research room hidden from prying eyes and it contained a blood magic that I was deathly afraid of, the AO-III symbol graced the paper and the blades.

I heard Danni sigh on the other end, and I knew that she was just as worried about this as I was. She had seen the symbol, she had read the inscription, she knew the history just as well as I did, but there was one thing that I hadn't told her, that I didn't tell Sam and I really needed to before it was too late.

With one last look at the paper, I closed my eyes.

June 21st was fast approaching, a week away. The summer solstice had things in the area in full swing. The little town I lived in celebrated the longest day of the year with all sorts of festivities, the problem was, I wasn't in the celebrating mood. The kids were off to spend three weeks with their father, my oldest was touring colleges and I was home alone.

I stood in the research room again, looking over more documents that Castiel had managed to drop off from various sources. Danni had been by earlier that week but I knew she was out on a hunt with the boys somewhere in the south so I hadn't seen her since Monday, it was now the weekend.

Grabbing the bottle of soda from the table, I wiped off the water ring that was left on the paper it had sat on, cursed at my luck, before heading up to the kitchen. I had just topped the stairs, was about to step into the kitchen when I noticed the shadow outside the front door.

Before the doorbell even rang, I had the door flung open and I stood in shock as I looked at the man before me. Sam turned, the smile fading from his face as his eyes glanced over me and the tears welled up in my eyes, a completely unexpected reaction to seeing him, but that didn't stop me from also being completely confused.

"Sam," I whispered breathlessly and felt his arms wrap around me, holding me close as I shut my eyes tight and took in everything I could about him, the way he felt, the way he smelled and the way his lips began to travel from my neck to capture my mouth in a heated kiss.

God how I missed this!

When he released me, which was something neither of us wanted, it was after we had moved the show inside and I found myself sitting on his lap on my living room couch, his hands tangled in my hair as I touched his face, going over every curve, and noticing a few new scars.

"This is going to sound bitchy and all sorts of screwed up because this is what I want more than anything," I started rambling as I ghosted over him, trying to memorize every last part, "but what are you doing here?" I listened to him sigh.

"Something's happened, Ali, and I need you to come with me," he whispered, but his eyes were pleading with me to understand that this wasn't something I could say no to, something I didn't want to say no to.

"Sam, what's going on?"

"We got a lead on Dad," Sam spoke softly and sighed, "in Virginia." I closed my eyes at the news, another part of the research had been right and there was nothing Danni or I could do to stop it now, I just hoped she was ready for what came next because everything pointed to one conclusion. "Dean and Danni are waiting there for us now."

A shock went through me. Why were they there now, what had happened that would have lead them to Virginia and the place where it had all started, at least for us? I feared for all of us now, feared for everything we had become, that we had done and I was terrified for what we were about to do, but there was no way to stop it.

On June 21st, the world would welcome the longest day of the year and the darkest day in the history of the war between heaven and hell.

God help us all!

To be continued in Dark Hunters: God Killers.

Tomorrow we start the adventure of the real Ali and Danni (me and Deb, the very first chapter of the book begins at 8:43 tomorrow night in a Waffle House in Ohio, check out dgray3994 on Twitter to watch for all the fun pictures and videos as we travel the route that Danni, Ali, Sam and Dean take. We even have an abandoned hospital...ooh spooky)


	34. Dark Hunters: God Killers

Dark Hunters: God Killers

Prologue

At one point in my life, well, in multiple points actually, if you had told me that the supernatural was real, if you had tried to convince me that the things that go bump in the night truly existed, I would have called you a hardball nut job and told you to get out of my face.

As it happens, that was ONLY an off-chance couple of times, when I was at the point that I was also trying to convince myself that vampires, werewolves, demons and whatever else haunted my dreams were just that, dreams, or more to the point…nightmares otherwise I would have asked where to find it and how to kill it.

Why?

Because I was a hunter. Not your Sam-and-Dean-Winchesters-grab-a-colt-and-run, kind of hunter but I needed to know, I wanted to know and it turns out there was a reason behind it, an ingrained-into-my-genetics reason that I wanted to know, that I sought it out, that it had a tendency to find me. And it only took one little vampire and a Winchester flying through a window for me to get the hint…and the truth.

My name is Ali Porter, single mom to three beautiful teenagers, and this was my life now. A month and a half ago, I took a trip, a vacation and things that weren't supposed to happen did.

I was attacked by a vampire.

Okay, now don't get your panties in a bunch, with the whole "you're out of your tree" thing, I know how farfetched it sounds but let me give you a little backstory.

Like I said, I took a trip. I was meeting up with my Supernatural Sister, a woman who had become one of my favorite people and this was the first time we were meeting. The way it was going to happen, a road trip. A 22-hour drive down to Oklahoma from my home state of Massachusetts, just me, the car and the road, until I decided to stop for the night.

8:43 pm… A time of night that I will never in my life forget. It was the instant that my world went from semi-normal, because let's face it, none of us are remotely close, to completely supernatural. Anyway, as I was saying, at 8:43 pm on Friday night, after nearly eleven hours of driving, I had pulled into my motel, gotten my room and headed to the Waffle House in the town close to West Jefferson, Ohio. Yes, breakfast that late at night, don't judge.

Two men in the last corner both caught my eye, one rugged, short haired with the eyes of a predator. Green eyes that stared at me like I was his next meal, or conquest. I never gave him the chance to find out. The second man, longer, brown hair, that he kept annoyingly pushing behind his ear to keep out of his face, which I didn't get a good look at until he turned to me and all I saw was a dream. His eyes were ever-changing and his face seemed to follow suit but this man made my whole-body shiver, though to be honest, at the time I was about to freak out because the two men now looking at me were not supposed to be there.

You see the reason that I was so caught up in the familiarity of the two was because of the television show "Supernatural", come on, you have to have at least seen or heard of it, I mean if not just ask a fan and you will never go back, but I digress, and we're back on track. Yeah, two real life versions of the actors on a television show was pretty unnerving to experience but when they pulled out of the parking lot in the CAR that was on the show, my deal was done.

I finished my food and high-tailed it back to the motel, but there it was again, the Impala, a sleek, black 1967 beauty and I knew I was in trouble. Of course, when the taller of the two, Sam Winchester, stepped out of the room and caught my eye, I knew things had just gotten worse, and being on the phone with Danni Danvers, my sister in Oklahoma, yeah, that explanation was going to go over so well.

I managed to get into the room and lock the door, letting Danni talk me into going to bed, before I decided that I was going to shower but a knock came at the door and with my spectrum blade in hand, I answered only to find Sam standing there shyly telling me that my headlight was out just so he could get a better look at me. By the way, I didn't let him live it down either.

After a few hours of sleep, that was when the night took a turn to the dark side.

Imagine waking up and having a man sail through your window. Take it one step further as he lay there bleeding, while a fanged monster tried to attack, as he desperately attempted to protect you. Add in the fact that you swung, you swung a blade with the intent to kill it, to save yourself and the man who was bleeding all over your floor but you, yourself got cut. Yeah, great shot! Now take it to the extreme as the next minute you're watching a blade slice through the creature from behind and you find yourself staring at the other man, knife dripping with blood as he stared at you before turning his attention to his brother.

This was Dean Winchester. And you were now really, really screwed.

Blood and guts and scrapes and cuts, and yeah, it was time to go. Dean swore you couldn't leave, you needed protection, that this vampire wasn't the only one. You swore that you would be fine, that he needed to worry about Sam, needed to get him medical attention but the both of you are way too pigheaded to do anything but argue. Until you agreed. Agreed to stay and sew Sam up because you couldn't bear the thought of leaving him like that, agreed to follow Sam and Dean to the next safe and dry motel where you would be protected.

You agreed! And your life would never be the same.

That was just the beginning of my story, probably just the first few hours, since I honestly don't remember the timeline but let me tell you, it only got strange from there. Attacked by arrow-slinging vampires, kissed by Sam himself, dumbstruck at the protective and needy way that Dean always had to have some sort of contact with you, even as he was being a complete ass. Your sister, Danni, dragged into the middle of it and while coincidences were piling up, nothing could prepare you for the cold hard truth of the matter.

Coincidences don't just happen, and accidents, well according to Dean: don't just happen accidentally. But this was where you found out everything. This is where you realized that though they looked like the Winchesters from the show, there was major differences. People died differently in this life for these two that slowly became yours, or they didn't die at all, which throws off your whole train of thought, or timeline as it was. The family you thought they had, the angel on their shoulder was distant, the man who was their father was alive and kicking around somewhere and the one that had helped raise them died alone in the woods somewhere hunting a changeling more than a year before they found him.

These were the differences, among other things, but these were the ones that seemed to stick with you. They were harder, rough around the edges, no time for relationship kind of hunters. Dark hunters, but that changed with you… and Danni, you became part of them, you became the hunters.

Demons, vampires, hellhounds, witches, and life had turned itself on its own head again. You found out history, you slipped into the world you had always known you were a part of with ease, but it didn't change the fact that once you left, once the immediate threat was over, that your life was never going to be the same.

You were what they were, a Dark Hunter.

That was my life, and it is ever changing. That was a month and a half ago, when I knew nothing of my past, nothing of my family, and nothing of the truth about Danni and I, two strangers pulled together because the love of a show. But life had a way of bringing those people to you that you needed and that's when things get really weird.

When I was eight or nine my grandmother summoned a demon, not only my grandmother but Danni's as well, and a pact was made to keep us safe, why? Well, that we weren't too sure of yet but as it was, the fact that Sam and Dean were real made it completely possible that everything else was true. There was a King of Hell, and he was the one protecting us, there was an angel Castiel and his mission wasn't only to keep Sam and Dean safe, it was also to keep tabs on the father that disappeared years before, the same John Winchester that died in the show to save Dean's life.

These were the elements we were living with, and since the moment I returned home, I wanted to know why. Armed with research and a little help from that winged friend, Danni and I were able to put together a family tree, and found out that we really were sisters in a way, blood relatives and the last in a line that could do something… a thing that would change the world.

Okay, not the apocalypse kind of change but something more important than two women and the only way to find out what that was, what our lives had become, was to track down John and find out for ourselves.

Which brings us to today, and the fact that Sam was standing on my doorstep, and my heart was pounding in my chest. I had fallen in love with the man but let him go to fight alongside his brother, to keep Danni safe and by doing so keeping me safe, but I longed for him… I missed him. And he did it, once again.

With the arrival of Sam, my world turned over on its head. With the simple words of "we've got a lead on Dad in Virginia and Danni and Dean are waiting," my life was falling into the darkness of the hunt once more.

I needed the truth, I needed answers, and somewhere down south, in the small town of Winchester, both of those were waiting.

 **Chapter 1**

"Something's happened, Ali, and I need you to come with me," he whispered, but his eyes were pleading with me to understand that this wasn't something I could say no to, something I didn't want to say no to.

I was floored. What had happened? Why hadn't Danni called and where the hell was Dean? Taking a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves, I pushed back any feelings of dread that might pop up in my voice.

"Sam, what's going on?" Good, I pulled off curiosity like a pro… then again, I had been lying to everyone for the past month and a half, I had gotten pretty good at the blank 'I don't know' stares that kept me looking innocent.

"We got a lead on Dad," Sam spoke softly and sighed, "in Virginia." I closed my eyes at the news, this was not good, not good at all. Another part of the research had been right and there was nothing Danni or I could do to stop it now, I just hoped she was ready for what came next because everything pointed to one conclusion. I was good with the news, that was great that they had a lead on John, it meant that maybe, just maybe Cas was communicating with them in some aspect but what came next was something I wasn't ready for. "Dean and Danni are waiting there for us now."

A shock went through me. Why were they there now, what had happened that would have led them to Virginia and the place where it had all started, at least for us? He watched as I sat back, couldn't hide the fear now, couldn't close myself off from whatever the hell I was feeling because it was all floating to the surface and he was front row center for the flash of emotions that went over me.

I watched his brow furrow as I tried to shake it off, but there was no use, Sam had seen through my guise, he knew now that I was holding back some information, but how pissed was he going to be when I shared it? I took a deep breath, slid from his lap and sat on the coffee table across from him. He had to know some of it, at least, maybe all and I debated quietly as I bit down on my lip.

I feared for all of us now, feared for everything we had become, that we had done and I was terrified for what we were about to do, but there was no way to stop it.

The shrilling noise of the phone and the fact that it was Dean's name on the caller ID was the only reason that Sam even ventured the thought of leaving me in the house, but he knew, hell I knew, that Dean wouldn't let up until his brother answered and Sam shook his head as he moved outside to take the incoming call.

At the glass door, I watched him lean against the Charger, some metallic blue color that looked strangely familiar and I wondered if he hadn't stolen it from a friend of mine. I felt the sadistic smile on my face before I shook it off, what was wrong with me that I would have found that funny, but it didn't matter, there was no way that something like that would happen, it would be too much of a coincidence to start up with the "you'll never guess what happened" crap.

The sound of something from the research room had me turning towards the basement door. Grabbing the knife from one of the jackets that hung in the hallway, I made my way down the stairs, the automatic lights popping on as I went, before I stopped just in arms reach of the door. I paused, thinking maybe I had imagined the whole thing, but at once, pressed against the panel that released the door and allowed the blood magic to work its way through the room.

As I pushed the door slowly open, the auto lights within the warded walls sprang to light and I found myself looking at the backside of an angel without a suitcoat. The missing article of clothing was tossed over the back of one of the rolling chairs that occupied the table full of information but Cas kept his back to me as he loosened his tie.

I stepped inside and sighed, loudly, trying to capture his attention. Mission accomplished as he turned, completing the task with the tie as he did. I closed the door before I spoke and clicked on the fan with a push of my toes, letting the noise reduction machine start to spin, filling the room with white noise.

"You realize that Sam is right upstairs, right?" I questioned, stepping up to him. We couldn't have been more than two feet apart, keeping our voices low as he looked down at me with hardened blue eyes, an angry look on his face. "And what the hell, Cas, you let them go to Virginia?"

"I had no choice in the matter," he answered sternly and looked away from me, which told me one thing, Cas was hiding something.

"Spit it out!" I snapped and watched his eyes suddenly focus on me once again. "I swear Cas, I will kick you so hard your wings will go limp for weeks, so whatever you're holding back, you need to spill it."

"Sam needs to know," he whispered and waited as I gave him my best shocked expression. Yeah, I knew that Sam was going to need to be brought up to speed. "Ali, I mean he needs to know everything."

Okay, so fake shock replaced by real shock and I crossed my arms, closing my eyes to take a moment to remain composed.

"You want me to tell Sam _everything_?" I whispered, and opened them to match blue with blue. "How much of losing your grace is affecting your mind?"

"I haven't lost it, at least not all of it," he replied and I locked my lips shut. "I'm still strong enough to protect you all from John, but Danni and Dean need every advantage you have, which means telling Sam everything, right down to the facts that you found out about him."

"I can't do that, Cas," I sighed, thinking about everything that I had learned about the Winchester family in this timeline, in this real-life situation. It wasn't exactly like the boys on the show, in fact, those boys had it a lot easier than the man who was standing outside my house talking to his brother. "How can I tell him that the demon who killed his mother is connected to my family?"

"We never suspected this was going to be easy," Cas grumbled and I raised a brow at him. He was giving me the speech, the whole "take one for the team" deal. Growling at him, I turned and stepped over towards the charts that graced the wall. "Everything you gathered, all of the documents and the time spent learning your history, has brought you to this moment. Ali, Sam deserves to know the truth, and not the way that John Winchester described it."

"I can't just tell Sam and not Dean, Cas, how fair would that be?" With a deep breath, I turned to look at him. "I will tell him, when we get there, when the brothers are in the same room, I promise you but I'm not going to drag him into a family feud that's been going on for centuries just because their father happens to be involved. Don't you think they've been through enough?"

"More than anyone," he answered and I knew that he cared but what could either of us do to prevent what was about to come next. I lowered my eyes to the floor and let my thoughts gather before I felt Cas' hand on my shoulder. "Ali, you were chosen for this task for a reason, you were given the knowledge and the power for a purpose, and it's up to you how to use it, but you have to decide soon."

"I don't know if I can, Cas," I admitted and looked up to meet his gaze. "I just got Sam back, he's finally here and already the supernatural is screwing it up."

"It's not 'screwing' it up, Ali, it's making it right. You and Danni are destined to fix this whole screw up."

"I don't want to fix anything, Cas, I just want Sam." I rubbed my hand against my forehead. "You know weeks ago, you said that Sam being so close to me was going to feed the darkness in him, that Dean was the one keeping him stable, that it was the reason that Dean always kept me so close and now you're telling me, what? Let him in on every secret that I have, including the screwed up lies that John told him? How is that going to help him? How is that not going to break what little self-control he has left. I won't bring out the demon in him, Cas, I refuse."

"Do you understand the ramifications of not letting go of these secrets? You, yourself have the research right in front of you, the evidence that what is coming is more than any of you can handle. Things are about to get ugly and if you don't have every player at your side, Ali, I'm afraid of the consequences."

"You can't pop in here and change the storyline on me," I huffed but I knew he was right, whatever was coming was big and I needed all the help I could get to actually get through it. Damn him for being such a pain in my ass, and damn him more for being right. Sam needed to know, as much as I could tell him anyway, and Dean needed to know the real reason why his father lied to him. I took a deep breath and looked up at Cas, placing my hands on my hips. "Go," I whispered and watched as he grabbed his coat. "Go before Sam comes down her and finds you, I'll figure something out and we'll be on the way as soon as I get some things straightened out."

"Very well," he grumbled and moved towards the door, not that he would ever make it that far without popping out.

"And, Cas," I snapped, watching as he turned with a scowl on his face, "make sure my sister stays safe."

"I'll check in with her as soon as I get back to Virginia," he growled and I rolled my eyes, letting the sound of his wings whoosh him from the room. Dammit, I had forgotten to ask him what the hell was up with the name of the town, because Winchester, Virginia, not weird at all

I was about to head out the door when I looked up and found Sam standing on the doorway, one hand on either side of the frame, pretty impressed by the room. With a smirk, I placed some of the papers I had collected down on the table once more and leaned against it.

"You can come in, it's warded against pretty much anything except Winchesters." I Laughed as he nodded and stepped into the room.

He looked like someone at a museum, holding his hands behind his back as he slowly stepped around, checking out the information on the board. I crossed my arms and just followed his movements, not moving away from the table as he took it all in, but the one thing I did do was cover the documents on the table, the ones that dealt with the blades and the symbols. The mythology that surrounded June 21st.

"Is this your whole family tree?" He questioned, and I nodded, before I took a step forward, to stand beside him at the wall, the part where the original information sat. The Ellis connection dead in front of him. "Where did you get all this?"

"Internet mostly, you know Ancestry and stuff, but some of it I actually found in my father's house. Who knew my grandfather was such a history buff, as it is, some of Danni's family line is mixed in so finding stuff about her side of the funny farm wasn't all that hard either." I shrugged and took a minute to look at either side of the Ellis name. "Andrus goes back to the same time as my grandmother's maiden name, Carrion back to colonial Virginia in the mid-1600s."

Sam gave me a bit of his normal curious head tilt and I couldn't help but smile as I looked him over. It had been a month and a half since I had seen him, in person, but probably less than a week since our last video call, but he had changed, he was just a little darker, something that only someone close would catch up on, and damn did it make him sexy as hell.

I didn't realize I was daydreaming, even as I looking him over, and that my guard was down enough so that I never saw him move, not until I found myself staring at his chest. I felt the light touch of his fingers as he brushed the back of his knuckles against my cheek and I closed my eyes, longing for that touch, wanting nothing more than to never have it leave my skin against.

It was so much more intense when he opened those fingers wide and slipped them behind my neck as his free fingers ran over the length of my shoulder and down to my collar bone. Oh, how I had missed this. His hand tangled in my hair, giving me a little tug that only managed to get a moan from my lips as I let out a breath, suddenly his lips were on mine.

They were almost bruising, but soft, claiming me as I reached up and fisted his shirt with both hands, pulling him closer. We had kissed when he first arrived but this, this was so full of want and passion, I almost forgot where I was.

Sam's hand moved from my neck to my waist, the other still holding me where he wanted me while the other effortlessly brought up me up onto the table. I felt him settle between my legs, and released him to let my hands wander over his toned stomach. Sam had lost some weight but he had gained muscle and I for a split-second I wondered about his health but that second quickly faded when his tongue ghosted over my lips.

I yanked at his shirt, pulling it up to get better access to his skin and I felt him laugh against me, but his kiss ceased as his hand moved from my hair to the hem of my shirt.

"You wanna move this somewhere else?" Sam's breath brushed over me and I stared up at the need in his eyes, which probably matched mine in intensity.

"Just push it on the floor," I whispered not taking my eyes off the man that held me and watched his mouth turn up in a devious grin for just a moment before his lips came crashing down on me once more.

It was a whirlwind of clothing, kisses and frantic need, and before I could breathe, he was slipping into me, filling me with every emotion that I had been wanting since the moment I let him go back to his brother and Danni. He was slow, gentle and methodic, pulling sounds from me that I had either forgotten that I made or never heard cross my lips before.

My fingers clenched into his skin, digging into his shoulders as he moved in me and against me. Need, want, lust and pure pleasure kept us going but the end, the fact that we had been apart for so long, came too hard and too fast. Before either of us knew what was happening, I was tightening around him, my lips leaving his as I cried out following it over.

Sam's mouth brushed against my neck, and as his hand slid down my back, bracing me as he thrust forward, his teeth bit down on my skin, suckling there as he left a mark, almost in the same spot at the first one that took me weeks to recover from. The sharpness of the pain, added to the pleasure that tingled through the rest of my body, had my legs wrapping tighter around him as I grasped a handful of his hair, not to pull him away but to use as leverage to bring my own lips to the side of his neck.

There was no way I was going to mark the man but just to feel his skin beneath my kiss, to lavish in the way he tasted and smelled as I felt him swell and come completely undone as he stiffened, sent all of my senses reeling and sent me plummeting over the edge one more time, something only Sam was able to accomplish.

Not sure how he managed to even stay standing on shaking legs, or how he maneuvered well enough to get us from the table to the chair, where he held me on his lap, still straddling him as I let my legs loosen, hanging down over his thighs as he wrapped one arm around my waist, tugging me against him as much as he could without being inside me again.

I placed both hands on his chest and closed my eyes as I pressed my cheek against the thump of his heart. I felt safe again, safer than I had since Cas popped him out of my room, safer than the moment the last ward went up, safer than I had ever felt before I met him. The fingers of his free hand moved over my back, tracing my spine, my ribs and curiously focusing on the small scars that weren't there before and I felt him breathe in as if he had just realized what he was feeling.

My eyes really weren't focused on anything as I opened them and waited, just waited for him to get where they had come from. I heard him swallow seconds before his lips pressed against the top of my head and his embrace tightened.

"I didn't want this life for you," he whispered, as if he had a choice in the matter.

"We all choose our own paths, Sam," I snuggled against him, my hands now tucked between us as I shivered, my body starting to come down from the high and the heat.

"What the hell have you been hunting?" his voice wasn't scolding, it was more of an acknowledgement than anything and I gave him a little shrug.

"Whatever Carol sends me that's local."

Sam sighed, his hand leaving my back to move my hair from my shoulders and my face so that he could touch my cheek without hindrance. Crap! Talking about hunting reminded me of what I needed to do and that we needed to go and with that I sat back, looking into his eyes.

"Why are you in Virginia?" I watched as he let his head fall back, hitting the wall with a thud and he let out a breath.

"People were dying and it just looked like one of our kind of cases, so we went down," he started and his arm let up, allowing me to out just a little space between us.

"And," I whispered, "is it your kind of case?"

"Yeah, but it's more than we can handle and Danni had a total freak out, she said that we had to come get you, so here I am," he brought his eyes up to stare into mine, and I watched them darken. "If I had known you were hunting, Ali, I would have come to get you so much sooner. I thought you were safe, I thought… it doesn't matter what I thought, I should have been here."

I smiled and put my hands on his cheeks, holding his face still as I scanned his eyes, hoping that darkness would leave but he was kicking himself and there was nothing I could do to stop him from feeling guilty for not being here except to remind him that it was my choice.

"I told you to go to your brother, to be with him and hunt, Sam, this isn't on you." I smiled and watched as his walls went up. "How could you have known unless I told you, and guess what, I didn't want you to know, so now we're standing at an impasse, the one where you either stop kicking yourself or accept what I'm doing."

"I'm supposed to keep you safe," he whispered and I watched those walls tumble. Yep, I had gotten through.

"And you did, you kept them away, but what do you and Dean always say? It's in your blood, well, guess what, it's in mine too." I kissed him quickly and slid from his lap, suddenly missing the closeness, but I reached a hand to him and beckoned with my fingers. "Come on, let's get dressed. There's somewhere I have to go and someone you have to meet."

Sam grinned, took my small hand in his and stood. Thank God the kids weren't home because we decided that clothes weren't necessary as we made our way up to the second floor, the shower and the bedroom so that I could pack.

And so it begins… again.


	35. DH God Killers - 2

**Chapter 2**

I placed the phone to my ear, turned away from the window where I had been standing watching Sam yet again leaning on the Charger with the cell stuck to his ear and an overprotective brother on the other line, but I had my own overprotective sibling on speed dial and her and I needed to have a little chat.

The line picked up but it took a moment of listening to the scrabbling before I heard a sigh on the other end.

"Ya done yet?" I grumbled as she finally settled down somewhere, probably the bathroom because I heard the door close.

"Well, good freaking morning to you too," she snotted back and I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face.

"Morning, really? Cause, I'm pretty sure this is the second time since he got here that your Winchester has been up my Winchester's ass." I stated sarcastically and she snorted, which made me realize what I said, "ugh, seriously, that's not what I meant."

"So, Sammy made it," Danni laughed and I struggled to find a comfortable position on the couch where I could see the man through the glass. It was bad enough that he was there and so far away, but the parking lot was far enough away from the house that I wasn't positive on the strength of the wards to protect him.

"Yeah, way to let me in on the plan by the way," I scolded and listened to her laugh, but it quickly faded.

"Hey, I was just as shocked as you were on that one."

"Well, that's a crock of crap!" I sighed and got up, yeah so needed coffee for this because I was pretty sure it was too early in the day for what else I really wanted. After stopping to check out the man at the car, and admire him just a little more, I took a sip of the hot liquid and made my way back to the couch. "So, spill it, sister! What has you sending Sammy so far north that it leaves you and PITA in Virginia alone, and really, of all places to end up at this time of year."

"Okay, just slow your roll, chicky," Danni sighed and I could almost picture her sitting there rubbing her forehead, which seemed to be her niche when she was getting frustrated at my barrage of questions. "For one, I didn't really have a choice, Cas kind of convinced me that you being here was a better, safer alternative than you being up there alone, so Sam was the obviously choice to go even though the pain in my ass wanted to bolt out the door as soon as bringing you here was mentioned." I could hear the irritation in her voice, and I knew that it bothered her that he was so gung-ho about coming to get me. He was still hyped on our connection, and probably jonesing for a fix, not that I could say I blamed him, it had been just as long as Sam since I saw him. "Anyway, so, if Cas is insisting you come there, something big is going on."

"So, what is it?"

"You're guess is as good as mine except the Summer Solstice is a week away and everything started in Virginia is prophesized to go down there as well."

I grabbed the laptop from the coffee table and flipped open the lid, hoping to see some sort of file from Carol on the leads I had sent her, and true to form, she delivered. As soon as the machine was powered up, the messages were coming though. More information on the town of Winchester and oddly enough, our family line was popping out at me as scanned PDF files. Stowing the family files for just a few, I brought up the latest clippings on Winchester, Virginia and listened to Danni start to explain.

"We came down here on a whim that the deaths might be our kind of thing," she started.

"Yeah," I sighed as I looked at the headline of the first article: **Local Man Kills Wife and Self in a Murder/Suicide,** "looking at the first paragraph I could have told you this was your _kind of thing_." I went on to the next article and my curiosity grew, they all involved the same kind of MO, man or woman going off the rails without warning. "So, give me some of the supernatural side of this boring news story."

"The supernatural side… cute," I heard her grunt just before the front door opened and Sam walked in, half smile on his face that faded as he looked at my open laptop and the phone on my lap. "So, here's the deal, we get some info on this case from some text that Sam received, and poof we're here checking it out but the funny thing is, we can't get a lead on anything that goes bump."

"Wait, you got nothing?" Sam sat down on the small couch across from me and through my peripheral I could see him sit back and use the arm to rest his elbow on, running his finger across is lips and my first thought was I hope he washed his hands… again, before I shook my head and turned back to the articles before me, my body betraying my thoughts a shiver ran up my spine. Yeah, Sam and his hands, all sorts of sin…but back to work. "So, why the hell are you still down there if you got nothing, and why the hell did you send tall, dark and handsome my way, not that I'm complaining about the last part."

"It took us a few days to catch onto what we had going on here, but we finally figured it out. A new antiquities store opened up in town just days before the deaths started."

"You thinking cursed object or vengeful spirit?" I questioned, but I caught Sam's small shake of his head.

"Neither," Danni answered and the door in the background opened. She sounded a little further away as she moved through the room and finally the phone clanked down on the table. I heard the clicking of keys as she loaded up the laptop and somewhere Dean cleared his throat. "Do you know the history of Jordan Springs?"

"Name rings a bell, just not sure which tone though," I answered but really wasn't kidding, I knew I had heard the name before but couldn't quite place it. The only reason I had started to research it in the first place was because that was where Cas had told me the kids were to begin with, and that was only a few hours before. Carol, the computer wiz, of course, was right on top of it. "Moving on though, give me what you got."

"Well, Jordan Springs is more of a resort than a town, but this is where it gets weird, you know it's in Winchester, Virginia right?" I heard Dean scoff in the background and looked over at Sam who just kind of gave me a wave of his hand and a roll of his eyes.

"Yeah I got that, pretty freaky," I replied and switched positions, placing the laptop on the table. "So what, it's a little unincorporated blip on the bigger picture?"

"So, get this," she started and I watched Sam put his head back against the wall as I smiled, "Jordan Springs is about four miles from town, not what brought us down here but okay, we're going to go with it. So, the actual place is a resort, three buildings 48k on footage and some massive amount of paranormal activity."

"Huh, ghost central?"

"Yeah from 1549, according to the website."

"Great, not just ghost central but native American territory, perfect." I shook my head and took a sip of the coffee.

"Yeah, there's more," I heard the sound of papers leaving the table and then quick slap of fingers against skin and Dean spouting off obscenities in the background. Danni laughed and tapped the phone. "So… here's what we got, the new store in town, ah Haywards Place, I believe it's called, received a shipment of good from the Jordan Springs Resorts sights less than four days before the killings, one day before it opened its doors to the public."

"Right, just enough time to set the place up and make it absolutely impossible for anyone to find anything of real value in it, or anything that might have a curse because just about everything in the store has some sort of story behind it," I sighed, "perfect. Moving on."

"Well, we can narrow it down from everything in the store to at least less than a dozen items, but we're pretty sure we know which one it is, problem is, we don't have anyone that can read it, so we're not sure if it's actually sigils or someone just doodled on it." Danni switched to a Skype call that came through my laptop and I was able to pick that up while hanging up the cell. She glanced around the room behind me. "You're awful Sammy-less."

"He's on the other couch," I smiled looking up at the man who was now stretched out with his eyes closed, head back and hands folded together on his stomach. "Guess I wore him out, you got something to show me?"

"Just this," she held up a print out of the mirror, and I shook my head. "Apparently, it was a gift to the original owners of the first Hotel when it was put up back in the 1830s, the name of the hotel, and get this cause it's just too much of a kick in the ass, the White Sulfur Springs Resort."

"Really? I mean we know demons aren't the smartest bunch of coconuts, but white sulfur?" I shook my head again but that mirror just seemed to stick in my mind. "Okay so, probably cursed object."

"Possibly," she shrugged and continued flipping through screens. "So the mirror was moved to each hotel over the years until it ended up in the basement of the Jordan building, sometime in early 01' when the new owners bought it. The thing was in 194 when a W.H.M Stover bought the place, it suddenly became pretty profitable. Not saying what exactly was going on there, but it hasn't stayed a hotel. It's been a boarding house, and among other things a Catholic Monastery and Seminary from 53' to 72', after that who knows but it switched hands again in 2001 and that was when they started cleaning house."

"So new owners, new construction, and mirror ends up in the basement of the demonic little piece of paradise until however many days ago when it ends up in an antique shop." I recapped and watched as she gave a nod. "Hmm, got pictures of these sigils?"

She picked up her phone and turned the camera in my direction. I tried to hold my face the best I could as recognition of the drawings etched into the wood crossed through my mind, and I must have done a pretty good job because she set the phone down.

"Have you sent it to Carol?" I questioned and watched her brows go up.

"You really think that's a good idea?"

"What's the use in having a computer wiz when you can't send her the crazy stuff, besides our usual one is sleeping on my couch at the moment, and I'm guessing since the three of you couldn't figure it out, our little Sammy here, doesn't have the stuff to get that deep." I replied and watched as Danni nodded.

"You're right, I'll send it off to her." Danni took a deep breath and slowly released it. "Get that man up and get on the road before this one has a coronary and calls again."

"Will do," I laughed and shook my head. "Maybe you can find something to distract him for a little while."

"It's an eight-hour drive, how much stamina do you think I have?" She laughed and I winked.

"Orange juice, my friend," I grinned and glanced over at the clock. "Gotta run. Jones is closing in an hour, gotta catch him while he's there and aware."

"Gotcha," she smiled, "and Ali, hurry up and get here."

"I'm working on it." I watched as she nodded, reached out and shut down the call. I finished packing, managed not to set off the car alarm and made it back into the house in time to see Sam sit up quickly and look around. His eyes were filled with worry as he looked from the couch to me and slowly I sank down beside him on the cushion. "Sam? What is it?"

"Just a dream," he whispered, running a hand over his face, as he cleared his throat, "I guess I was tired."

"I know how hard it is to travel without a co-pilot, especially for a drive that long," I reached up and ran my hand through his hair as he slowly sank back onto the couch. So, the "just a dream" had me curious because with Sam, nothing was ever just a dream, there was always something behind it, but with what I knew about him, I couldn't come right out and say that, he wasn't the one who told me his past, Cas did. I sighed and let the feeling of my fingers sooth him. "You can sleep on the way down, or you can try to go back to sleep, your pick. I have to go into town though before we head south."

"I'm good," he lied, and leaned into my touch as I placed my hand on his cheek. I gave him my best "bullshit" smile and kissed him softly on the lips, feeling his hand slip around to tangle in my hair. This was something that we were good at, touching, kissing, general loving but when it came to secrets, the two of us managed to hold our own. He pressed one soft kiss against my lips again before he backed away. "So, where's this stop we have to make?"

"The Ware Gun Shop," I answered and watched as he looked at me in confusion. "You'll see when we get there."

It was a small little building, and if it were attached to anything but the second-floor apartment, it would be considered a little hole-in-the-wall store, because the outside really needed a paintjob, the sign was falling apart, which was fine because it was only the words painted on an old piece of pressed ply-wood, but looks can be deceiving.

Sam stood in front of the Charger, staring up at the sign, checking out the exterior of the place and I knew he was looking for something other than the obvious signs that _this_ was just a gun shop. I closed my door, grabbing the black and tan duffel out of the backseat and walked up to stand beside him.

"How did you find this guy again?" He questioned as we waited for traffic. The gun shop happened to be situated on a busy part of the street where there was little to no parking but managed to stay in business for decades, and those facts alone had Sam curious.

"Looking for a rare item," I replied and took his hand as I stepped out into the traffic that had momentarily stopped. Yep, this was one of those places that if you're body wasn't in motion, the cars weren't stopping to let you go, no matter what the street sign said. Once safely on the sidewalk in front of the shop he noticed the small sigils in each corner of the windows, blended in with the pinstriped boarder and shook his head. "Come on, Jones won't bite, I promise."

Who was I kidding? This was Sam Winchester, if anything I should be warning Jones that Sam wasn't going to bite but when the door opened at the sound of the cowbell that echoed through the shop, Sam stopped, impressed by the number of weapons that lined every inch of the walls and the different equipment that was shelved around the room, making it almost a maze to get to the counter.

"Just a minute!" A man's rough voice called from the back.

I placed the duffel on the counter as I leaned on it and watched Sam make his away around the shop. I knew what he was looking for, and it wasn't guns, ammo and knives. He was looking for the wards.

Jones, a bearded man with thin wired glasses and a biker vest over his dingy gray tee-shirt, stepped out from behind a curtain that covered the backroom and suddenly he stopped. His hands were in the motion of drying off on the towel that hung from his belt and though I would love to say that my presence was the thing that had him stopping on the dime, I knew that it wasn't, as his eyes settled on the 6'5" man that made his way around the shop.

"Hey, Angel," Jones greeted me and I heard more than saw Sam whip around at the endearment, which had me smiling, but it was Jones' hand at the ready to pull the gun at his hip that made me stand up straight and raise my fingers, a gesture that gave the all clear sign to the man behind the counter. Michael Jones stepped closer to me, Sam still in his sights as he stopped, the counter between us, and he rested his lower arms on the glass, letting Sam see he was unarmed. "It's not Sunday, you ain't off to church, so what brings you in?"

Sunday was a code word for "you shouldn't need supplies", and church was more along the lines of "there's nothing to hunt", so I knew his curiosity was peaked. I smiled at him, grinned back at Sam and reached for my bag. Unzipping it, I flipped the thing open.

One side was lined with straps, holding in various weapons like stakes, crosses, a few Walthers, some mags tucked into the mesh zippered part. The other sides also had straps but carried rolls of tubed DMB (Dead Man's Blood), large vials of salt, holy water and other neat little ghost deterrents, plus a few rosaries and multiple daggers, all of magical quality, but here was one empty space that was missing it's occupant, and that's what I needed.

"Ah, I see what you need," he smiled and walked back behind the door as Sam approached, never seeing my "first-in" bag as I liked to call it, but he didn't see the most important piece, the brown, leather-bound journal that was tucked into the inside of the front zipper part. That one book had everything in it, ever hunt I had done, ever explanation of how I had gotten here, and most importantly, how to get rid of anything that came my way. Jones returned, stopped again to look at Sam, who was standing protectively behind me, before setting the wrapped item on the counter. "By the way, your manners suck, Porter!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I was getting tested on how well I played with others," I replied casually and glanced up at the man behind me. "Sam Winchester, Michael Jones, hoarder of rare and hard to find objects."

"Hoarder? Really?" Jones scoffed, "yeah, now I know you haven't had your morning coffee, or your afternoon tea." I smiled at his joke, because yeah, no one here does afternoon tea. He stuck out a hand to Sam. "Purveyor of supernatural items, hunter and all round go to guy, because your girl… is very needy." Sam smiled and shook his hands, still not saying a word. "That being said, she's a damn good hunter, and one of my best customers, though she can ask for some pretty strange crap."

"So, are you a hunter?" Sam questioned, the first real words out of his mouth and the guy behind the counter just smiled.

"Semi-retired," he replied and tugged the vest over to show the line that ran across his left peck, right over his heart. "Got attacked by a ghoul once, tossed into an electrical box. It messed up my heart enough that I needed a pacemaker, so I do this for a living instead."

"Provide for hunters?" Sam asked, curious about the man now.

"Well, mostly just one," Jones replied and winked at me, sending Sam's hand protectively to the small of my back. "There aren't many around here anymore, which you would think we'd be swamped with them given the history of the area but, no, I'm pretty much stuck with this pain in the ass."

"You're all sorts of loves and hugs today, now aren't you?" I smiled and watched as he just grinned. "So, is it ready?"

"God, you're damn impatient," he snorted and brought the wrapped item closer to me. Slowly opening it like it was a Christmas present, I shifted the weight on my feet as the seconds ticked by until he finally reviled my spectrum blade. I reached out to grab her handle but the man behind the counters swatted it, which made me draw back rather quickly. "Girl, you don't go reaching in to grab a weapon without knowing anything about it first."

I looked up at Sam, who was now grinning. Yeah, getting these two together was probably a very bad idea, but when I turned back to the man behind the counter he was looking over my knife like she was a thing of beauty.

"So, spill, what did you do to her?" I bounced a little on my toes as I leaned in closer to check out the blade.

"Well, you can't tell but I had her refired, this time with Holy oil, some strong incense and a few magical herbs. The handles etched with spell work, runes from what I can gather, and I'm not talking the new age crap, I mean old world runes. The craftmanship is in the rune work. The blades been inscribed with the last Rituale Romanum, and trust me, you're going to need a magnifying glass to see it. No one would ever know what they're holding in their hands." He smiled like a proud dad of a football kid at one of the local junior highs but before he slid it over to me, he made sure to catch my eye, lock me there. "This isn't a toy, Angel, seriously, this thing can do some damage to human and monster alike."

"I just need to know if it's going to kill demons, because vampires I get, werewolves, been there, done that," I watched Sam's eyes snap to me as I spoke, "but demons, Jones, that's the important part."

"Yeah, it will smoke them out, just like you wanted." His voice was dripping with concern as he turned the handle in my direction and I slowly wrapped my fingers around it, licked my lips and picked her up for the first time in a month. She was lighter than I remembered, but the power sang through her and I couldn't help but smile.

"Well now," I whispered to the blade as I ran my fingers along the smooth curve, "look at you all big and badass."

"So, you're Sam Winchester," Jones spoke up, leaving me to my toy as he turned his attention to the man behind me. "I'd say that Sparkles here told me a lot about you, but I'd be lying, she keeps you pretty close to the heart, as it should be."

"Yeah, she didn't tell me anything about you either," Sam replied, which meant I was getting a stern talking to when this was over. "Semi-retired hunter that owns a gun shop?"

"Just a facade, kind of keeps the locals out of my hair about the behind the scenes. Come on, I'll show you." Jones nodded back but Sam stood firm which made the older man smile. "Don't worry, she's perfectly safe from anything supernatural."

"How can you be so sure?" Sam was reluctant until Jones moved over to the light switch, clicked off the overhead lights and reached for a button under the counters, flipping on the black light. I smiled at the low whistle that breathed from Sam as he looked around. Every inch of wall was covered in a sigil, and spell work and there, right above the door was a devil's trap on the ceiling and one under the "wipe your feet Asshole" carpet that graced the doorway.

"Like I said, perfectly safe." Jones flipped the lights on again, as I felt Sam's hand on my waist, tugging me to him as he kissed me on the side of the head before walking around the counters to follow the man into the back room.

Had I been in Jones' back room, sure, plenty of times, but the first time always gets you. The man had toys like you wouldn't believe and a store room full of the most insane herbs, potions, books and blades that you couldn't even imagine existed.

It took more than fifteen minutes for the men in my life to return from the dreaded "back room", a hunter's dreamland but when they did both were smiling and chattering away in low tones, probably trading horror stories that would make most people's stomach turn but Sam and Jones were good, so I was happy.

Once again, Sam was behind me and Jones was leaning over the counter as he grabbed an envelope from below the register, sliding it towards me. I knew what it was, more history on the blades, more knowledge to keep me safe and I tucked the blade into its spot and the folder was zipped into the bag as I closed it for later reading.

"Sam here tells me he's stealing you for Virginia," Jones commented and I watched as his eyes filled with concern, yep, he had read the legends too. "What the hell am I supposed to do about the issues around here with my best hunters on the run with two Winchesters?"

"Call Pasco in Warren, he'll be happy to help," I grin and watched him roll his eyes.

"Pasco is as useful as a pentagram without a star," Jones sighed and I watched Sam smile, "but I guess if I get into a tight spot, I can always call in French and his lot."

"French?" I laughed, and shook my head. "You'll run out of DMB before the end of the day if you call him up. The man coats everything in that crap."

"Well, we all have our lube," he grinned and I rolled my eyes. Leave it to him to get some sort of innuendo in there, at least he waited until after he and Sam got a little better acquainted. I watched him step around the counter as I put my hand on the bag strap. Standing close enough to look me straight in the eyes, he took a deep breath. "This is a bad idea, short stuff."

"The last month and a half has been a bad idea, Jonesie," I sighed, "but I've managed to stay alive."

"Come back whole and in one piece," he reached out and grabbed me, pulling me in for a hug, a big bear hug that almost suffocated me as I wrapped my free hand around him, but I heard him sigh and his head pick up as he looked at Sam. "Take care of our girl, she's the best we got up here since you boys are off traveling the west."

"Oh, trust me, I don't intend to let her out of my sight," Sam answered.

"Well, ya gotta get out of the bedroom sometime if you're going to hunt down whatever sons of bitches you're after." Jones snickered and let me go. I looked at him wide-eyed as he moved behind the counter but he just gave me an innocent look and shrugged. "Hey, a man like him and a gal like you? If you were mine, I'd have you tied to the bed, not out hunting monsters."

"Okay!" I exclaimed and grabbed the bag, hoisting the strap over my shoulder, "on that note, we're out of here. Be good, Jones."

"Ha, you're giving me advice, kid, that's a new one." He grinned as we made our way towards the door. "Hey Angel," I stopped and looked back at him, "Dea-fiaigh," he spoke in Gaelic. I smiled at him as he wished me good hunting, and I nodded.

"Dea-fiaigh," I replied back as Sam and I walked out the door, the cowbell jingling once more.

Sam took my hand, crossed through traffic and stopped to watch me open the passenger's side door. I tossed my bag in the back over the seat and looked up at him.

"Anywhere else to stop?" I looked around the small town that we were in the center of and shook my head before he gave me a smile and slipped in.

My kids were safe, my family out of harm's way and I was ready alright, ready to face my own demons yet again. The Charger roared to life and I slipped in, closing the door behind me. I gave the store one last glance and my eyes rested on the blue-green ones that stared me down as he put it in gear and pulled out into traffic.

Virginia, here we come.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 3**

Two hours into the trip south and I found myself looking at the face of a very quiet Winchester. Sam had barely said a word since we left the shop and the silence was becoming too loud. The radio stations were getting on my nerves, and his iTunes weren't any better, not that the songs were bad but the noise itself was almost too much. I grabbed the bag from the backseat, pulled the folder from the main pocket and grabbed ahold of the papers that Jones had handed me.

This caught Sam's attention as I placed the pile on my lap and began to flip though. It wasn't hard to figure out what he was trying to do, peek over to see what I was researching but I flipped through some of them so fast that I hoped he hadn't seen what was on there, but that was when I stopped.

I clicked my tongue, a habit I had gotten into when I found something that either grabbed my interested or made me question just what was going on, and it usually happened during an investigation, but this was something different, this was about Easter.

"Huh," I whispered and watched as Sam's eyes landed on me from my peripheral view. His gaze was flickering from the side of my face to the paper in front of me. It was a copy of something out of an old bible, something written in a strange mixture of English and Latin and it took me a moment to decipher what it said. Of course, Sam could have picked it up and read it like a second language but when he reached for it, I pulled it further way and listened to him sigh. "Hey, you're the one that said I needed to work on my Latin, so back off pal!"

I heard him give a small laugh as he put his hand on my knee instead, giving it a little squeeze, before placing it back on the steering wheel. But Sam was edgy, he never liked to sit back and NOT know what was going on. I never noticed how nosey he really was.

"Alright," he grumbled, "you've had enough study time, what is it?"

"Old prophecy by the looks of it." I answered and flipped the paper over once again, before reading it just a little more. "About Easter and Passover."

"A prophecy about a holiday?" Sam questioned in disbelief, and his reaction was the same as mine, "huh."

"Okay, so this is what I got," I shifted in the seat to face him, pulling one leg up so that I could place the papers across my lap but still watch his face. Have I said how much I loved to watch his expressions? Good, bad, pissed off, Sam always had the best expressions and ugh, the sexiest one was… dammit, back to the paper. "According to this…whatever it is… there's an old prophecy about the coming of signs, and using Passover and Easter as a way to do it. The issue is, I swear to all that is holy, it was our trip in April."

"What?" Sam glanced over at me, then back at the road as I continued.

"It says, and yes my Latin is still pretty crappy, pass over of the good in order to bring about the end of all, to set the wheels of time off balance and to let evil triumph over good." I shook my head and stared at the next words in confusion. "Easter is prophesied to bring about the rise of the demon."

"Okay, that's a new one," Sam sighed as I moved passed it to the papers that were clipped behind it.

Taking I deep breath, I switched positions once more in the seat and concentrated on what the hell I was looking at. There were more in-depths explanations on the ritual, the way that things were supposed to play out and everything that was there had me shaking in my skin. In the hours that followed, I was caught in a whirlwind of what I would have thought was just bullshit if I hadn't lived it myself and it wasn't until I felt Sam steer the car off an exit that I happened to look up.

I wiped my eyes, not realizing that I had been crying, or that they were running down my face, and watched as we pulled up close to an empty rest stop, one that was graced with a picnic table and green grass, but very little in the way of scenery. I took a breath, feeling my lungs fight the air that invaded them and slowly I put the papers into the folder.

I felt his hand at the back of my neck, fingers gently massaging the tight muscles there and it took me a moment but I turned towards him in the seat, took the hand that gripped the steering wheel and held it in my hand.

"Talk to me," he whispered as I wiped the wetness from my cheek. "I can't help if you don't tell me what is going on."

"Well, I just read that my life has been screwed up way before I was born," I smiled, but it wasn't funny at all. "Our trip, you know that one where we met, yeah all of that was foreseen, I mean not all of it, not you and me, but the way it went down. The timing, the place, hell the monsters involved, and Crowley, all foreseen, all part of this prophecy to make sure that Danni and I met, that we found each other to kick off some stupid end of the world crap that now you and Dean are dragged into the middle of."

"Hey," he scooted closer, or as much as he could with the console between us. I watched Sam sigh, frustrated that he couldn't get to me, but he grabbed the handle under the seat and kicked it as far back as it could go before he tugged me towards him. I found myself comfortable on his lap, straddling him as I faced him while he leaned the seat back just a bit and wrapped his arms around me. "It will all work out."

"Man," I whispered, trying to laugh it off before lying my cheek against his chest as he placed his hand gently on my head, his lips brushing across the top of it as the subtle on his jaw caught strands of it. His other arm was tight across my waist, holding me as closely to him as he could as my fingers dug in, gripping his shirt. "I thought things were scary before, I mean the whole week we were first together I don't think I really stopped to grasp what was going on. You were my blanket, everything I put my feelings into, you and Dean and Danni, but when I got home I needed something to keep it going, something to do to NOT think, and I started researching and hunting. Now I've got a second to think and I'm terrified."

"I think you were stronger than you give yourself credit for," Sam sighed, but his lips never left me as the hand on my waist moved up to caress my back. "You stood up to everything thrown at you, and you saved my ass more than once, I wouldn't change anything, except…" he paused, which made me pick my head up to look into those eyes. His fingers moved from my head to my cheek and I closed my eyes, feeling his warmth against me. "There is one thing I would change, I would go home with you."

"Sam," I sighed, knowing we had been over this a hundred times, and probably would a hundred more.

"There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about," his voice was cautious, as if he were about to tell me something really profound, or if this was the beginning of our relationship and he was afraid that he was going to scare me off. I opened my eyes and sat back, thanking whoever owned this car that they hadn't gotten the sports model and I was able to sit up comfortably without hurting my neck, but Sam continued to lay back, his hand falling from my face, gently caressing the curves of me as he finally brought both hands to rest on my thighs. "Cas told me he gave you a little inside information about my past."

"Wait," I whispered, "you're talking to Cas?"

"I'm not Dean, I don't hold Castiel responsible for Charlie's death, I mean, yeah I was pissed for a while and I'm still kind of pissed that he's not giving up Dad, but Cas did everything he could to save them." He rolled his eyes and looked out the window before turning back to me. "Sometimes bad things happen."

"How long?" I questioned and watched his lips turn up in that half grin that I was getting so used to seeing when he was being sneaky.

"A few days after you got home," he sighed. Okay, so we were both keeping secrets, because it wasn't long after I got home that the research room started to get built, and not too long after that Danni and I were having secret meetings as I delved into the past of Azazel and the Princes. "I wanted to tell you myself, I need you to know about my past, Ali."

"So, there's more than what Cas told me?" I questioned and watched as he signed, closed his eyes for a moment and then rubbed them with the back of his hand.

"A lot more," he said with a breathless whisper, "so much more."

I pushed his hair back with my hand, bringing it down to rest on his cheek as my thumb brushed over his lips, a gestured he sighed from and I felt him push up at me with his hips, yeah maybe that wasn't the best time or place to be touching such sensitive areas.

"Nothing you can say is going to scare me away, Sam, you should know that by now." He glanced out the window at the sky before he looked up at me and his lips grew taunt.

"Ali," my name seemed like a whisper on the wind, "I'm not a good person."

"Hey," I sighed, and caught his eyes, just as he was about to turn away. "Don't hide from me, I mean it, I love you, every part of you, even the bad stuff."

Sam hesitated a moment before putting his hand on mine and wrapped his fingers around it gently. "I watched a little of your show while we were apart, just to get a better sense of the Sam you knew. He's not me, Ali, he's far, far from me."

"As if I hadn't figured that out by now," I smiled but he didn't return it and I sighed.

"Your Sam grew up trying to defend things, to see the good in everything, to be the better man. He wanted more than what John wanted for him, he wanted to go to school, to become a lawyer," and I watched that one word get the strangest look from him but he went on. "Your Sam had a life, almost had everything, he was a good man, Ali, I wish I could be that good for you." He took a breath, stopping my words before I could tell him that I didn't want that Sam, that _he_ was my Sam, the only Sam, but he continued. "His visions started at 22 right, but I don't remember a time that I didn't have them. I was so angry as a kid that there wasn't any way to control me, I mean, Dad couldn't, but Dean… Dean was always my rock, the one that talked me down, that put me in my place, even when I got taller than him, Dean was there.

"I was a rough kid, I didn't know my own strength, didn't care who I took the anger out on. Hell, I probably killed more monsters before I was ten than Dad and Dean alone and when I went off, it was like a rocket, one that no one could stop." I watched as the look in his eyes became far away, so much so that they darkened with his memories. "I was the best at my job, I could put anything down, I just had to be angry enough, but when I came down from it, all I wanted to do was cry and that made me even more angry. When I was seventeen, I started going with Dean to the bars, I started picking up women, like he did, you know to let out the emotions, but the problem was, I didn't feel any." His eyes peeked up at me, "I didn't feel anything for them, I just did what I wanted and walked away."

"And you think that makes you a bad person, because you chose not to care about the girls you were sleeping with?" I was confused about why that would make him feel the way he did, why he would be so ashamed.

"No, the issue wasn't that I didn't care, Ali, it's that I didn't feel anything, and what I did, what I needed to do to feel, hurt people, Al, it hurt a lot of people." Sam took a deep breath and ran his hands back through his hair, leaving them leaning on the seat behind his head as he looked out the window again. "The first time was a woman in Detroit, she was just some random person at a bar, but, I don't know what happened Ali, it got rough, really rough, and if Dean hadn't come in…"

"Hey," I touched his cheek and watched those eyes flash at me, the darkness in them swirling, but he left his hands right where they were. Under me, I felt every muscle in his body tighten as if he were trying to control himself. "You're right here with me, they're just memories."

"That's the thing, up until you, they weren't just memories, they were every night occurrences," he sighed. "You joke about whips and chains, and sharp things, but it's not a joke, it's not… not normal."

"Because you have a fetish?" I tried not to smile, but sat back a bit on his legs, his eyes scanned me over as I did so and I could see the want in his eyes. "Yeah, that's what it is, it's a fetish."

"It's not just…" He was getting frustrated with me because he wanted me to be upset with him, but I couldn't and he didn't understand why. "I hurt people… women, and I scared the hell out of most of them." Sam took a deep breath, "why do you think Dean touches you so much?"

"Because Dean has his own little fetlife deal going on, I don't know, maybe it's the connection." I shrugged, but he gave a small shake of his head. "Then you tell me, why does Dean always need to touch me?"

"He wants… no, he needs to make sure that I didn't hurt you." Sam sounded so small at that point, not the big, badass that had saved me from vampires, not the hard hunter that put himself between me and everything that came at me, no, he sounded like a fragile man on the verge of breaking. "Dean needs to protect you from me, just like he has protected every other woman that I've ever been with. He need to know that I didn't hurt you, that there isn't a hair out of place."

"Sam, you've never hurt me," I reassured him and watched the corner of his mouth flicker up to almost a smile before it disappeared again.

"It doesn't mean I didn't want to." He admitted and looked down at the way we were sitting, before he reached up and pushed the hair from my neck, to find that little spot that he loved so much, where his mouth had marked, and I closed my eyes as his fingers brushed against it before pressing harder. I caught my breath, and let my lids flutter, was he trying to scare me or turn me on. "Do you know how hard it is to control myself with you?"

"And I've told you that you're not going to hurt me," I smiled as his finger pressed and I shivered, letting him see what he was doing. "Keep it up and we're going to have to park somewhere a little more private."

He moved his hand quickly, balling it into a fist as a frown of anger crossed his face. I watched the control in him slip for just a second before he opened his hand and placed it gently on my leg.

"Why do you do that?" He whispered.

"Tell you what I want?" I smiled and watched as he rolled his eyes, "encourage you to let your feelings go?" I knew they were the questions he needed answers to and I leaned down towards him, pressing my body to his as I grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged his head to the side, getting a little groan from him as I did so, but I leaned up so that he could see my eyes. "I already told you, you're not going to hurt me, you're not going to do any damage, and besides, how do you know I'm joking when I say whips and chains?"

He damn near growled when those words left my mouth, but it was when my mouth caught the bare skin of his neck that his hands moved from my thighs to capture my waist. I didn't move my hand from his hair, in fact my grip there got tighter, but as I bit down on his skin, just like he did to me it the height of passion and need, I could feel his hips press up against me, as if searching for that intimate contact.

His hand moved swiftly, bunching up my hair as he leaned his head forward, placing it against my shoulder as I sucked harder at the skin between my teeth. He moaned, and it was deep and needy and all sorts of sinful, and I had to pull away, because if I didn't, we really were going to need someplace private, and probably sound proof.

The small red mark my lips left behind made me smile. It wouldn't be noticeable to Dean or Danni, or probably anyone that truly mattered but I knew it was there and so did Sam, whose head dropped back against the seat as his eyes looked half-closed out the window. I smiled and moved closer, my breath brushing his ear and his hand once again felt to my waist, pulling me against the hard, roughness of his jeans.

"Maybe your brother needs to protect you from me," I whispered sweetly and felt him laugh just a little, and silently as his fingers spread across my back and he pulled me in to wrap me in an embrace, one that filled me with content.

"Yeah, I'm not sure that Dean would be able to handle you any more than I could," he smiled, and I could hear it in his voice. "I love you, Ali."

"I love you too, Sammy," I whispered and felt his hand in my hair as his lips pressed against my head once more.

We switched positions somewhere down the line, but I still couldn't help but keep peeking over at Sam as he reclined back in the black vinyl seat, his legs stretched out as far as they could go, and his arms crossed over his chest. His face was turned in my direction, and his hair was falling to cover up half of it, but I could still see the peace that seemed to grace his features, the childish way his lips parted as he breathed through the dreams.

I smiled and thanked whatever, or whoever, happened to be watching for the chance to have him in my life, but some of what he had told me earlier seemed to run through my mind. He had been that damaged boy, the one that Dean was on the show. He had been the hard soldier, the one that John made Dean into, but still, no matter what had happened to this Sam in this life, he was never more than I wanted him to be, never more than I could handle and I wondered if it was because he was holding back.

He stirred and sat up rather quickly, which made me jump behind the wheel, but as his bright eyes, full of anger, landed on me, I took a deep breath, calming myself as I suppressed the urge to reach for him. I know he needed a moment to gather his thoughts but his eyes wouldn't leave mine as he scanned over my face. It must have been something pretty intense because it took him a few minutes to finally take a deep breath and relax every muscle in his body.

"That bad dream again?" I questioned and watched as his mouth frowned in anger. He glanced out the window before he nodded, reaching for the cold coffee cup in the middle of the console. I didn't press, though I wanted to know if what was going on was exactly what I thought it was. "Wanna pull over so you can stretch?"

"Yeah," he whispered, okay, he mumbled it more than whispered, "that would be a good idea." He gave me a half-smile as he looked over quickly before staring out the window. "Thanks."

"Sam," I didn't really know what I was going to say but he didn't look my way either, so I reached out and placed a hand on his knee, felt him shake just a little before it seemed he settled down from my touch, like that was the reassurance that he needed and I knew the dream was bad. "Okay, just a few miles, I think I saw a rest area sign a little ways back, so we should be coming up on it."

He didn't really say anything but his lips moved in the way of acknowledgement and it worried me that he continued to stare out the window, but I wasn't going to force the issue and I wasn't moving my hand either. The rest area was roughly eight miles down the road, and within two of him waking up, his fingers had wrapped around mine, his body had stopped shaking and he was leaning against the other with his fingers rubbing his lips. Yeah, something about that dream was really bothering him.

Conveniently, the rest area was fully equipped with restrooms, a gas station and food, which included a very important coffee stop for both of us. It had taken me days to recuperate from the trip to Oklahoma with the amount of coffee that I drank and now here I was getting back on that bandwagon again, but I loved the taste of it and couldn't seem to take any kind of trip without it. So, with a large French Vanilla Expresso with milk made from some very strong Italian coffee stand in hand, and Sam with whatever he was drinking, we made our way back towards the Charger and leaned against the hood, neither one of us ready for the road yet.

He was silent, something that he only did if he were thinking, but this time he was silent for way too long and I finally couldn't take it anymore. I turned to him, pressed my hip against the grill and crossed my arms the best I could with the coffee in hand. I noticed that his eyes were still a ways off, like he wasn't really looking at anything, not the passing cars, not the scenery.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I watched him jump at the sound of my voice and switch the weight on his legs, before he looked down at the cup and over at me from under those strands of hair.

"Honestly," he said with a bit of bite in his tone, but he drew in the reigns and took a deep breath. "No, I'm not."

"Okay, so can I give you a little bit of "Supernatural" the TV show information?" I tried to judge his mood but he kind of shrugged. "I mean, only if you want."

"Sure, why not," he scoffed. So, maybe he didn't want to hear what I had to say, but one thing was definitely for sure, there was something going on with Sam, this Sam, _MY_ Sam, and it wasn't good.


	37. DH God Killers - 4

**Chapter 4**

I walked over to the trash container, the coffee in my cup had grown cold and for some reason, sour as I drank it. I knew what I was about to discuss was, well, it might be hard on him, but I had to get it out somehow. Cas said to be honest, to tell him everything, but I couldn't establish the trust I needed to do that if he wasn't telling _me_ everything, so I was only going on gut instinct here when I came up with a theory for his dreams.

I moved towards the bench that I had parked in front of, pulled my feet up and wrapped my arms around my legs before glancing up at him. With a roll of his eyes, letting me know that he was still in the worst of moods, he kicked away from the car and came to sit by me, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees as he held the coffee with both hands.

I reached over and gently put my hand on his back, not wanting him to jump again because that scared me more than anything. His muscles twitched but he didn't seemed to be as frazzled as he was before and that was a good sign, but how long it was going to last was something completely different. Not that having keys to the Charger would have been any help because the boy could hotwire it in seconds, but they would have given me a little more confidence that he wasn't going to take off and leave me there once my "theory" was exposed.

"Okay," I sighed and watched him look up, just to watch the coming and going of the cars and the people, and not positive that he was even listening to me, I just started to babble. Everything that I had learned about his life, Dean, John and what came before our little misadventure in Oklahoma, brought me to this very moment. "Early on in the show, and you'll know what I'm talking about since you just binged it for the last month and a half, that Sam started to get these headaches, really, really bad ones that either came with a vision or just before them. Sometimes the headaches wouldn't come at all and the visions would just be nightmares, bad dreams, until they weren't dreams anymore, they were real."

I felt Sam stiffen as I talked, one of the main reasons I had put my hand on him. Outwardly, you would never have seen the signs of his discomfort of what the words were doing to him, but I knew him, I could feel him and every little twitch was a sign that I was right.

"Anyway, these dreams, these visions lead him to the fact that he was one of the chosen children, all pretty much born around the same time, all who had mothers who died in nursery fires." I paused for a moment, thinking of my facts, "okay, so maybe not all died in fires when they were six months, but they eventually died. These children had gifts, and some of them weren't the best people, and some of them really were, but what they all had in common was that it all started around their birthdays."

"I already told you that mine never stopped, they have always been there," he snapped but didn't look at me. He didn't move away, he didn't even try to shrug my hand off, he just snapped, which could have been a good sign.

"I know, which is why I asked if you wanted the show history before I started, Sam, I'm not rehashing this crap just to piss you off, I'm trying to make a point." He turned to me then, placing one hand on his leg as he pushed himself up and stared at me.

"And what point is that, because truthfully, Ali, I'm really not in a good headspace for this." He growled. Yeah, not good, I could see that, but I took a deep breath and went on.

"The visions that Sam was having ended after the devil's gate was opened, or at least we were lead to believe." He locked his jaw, his lips thinning as he turned away. "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the devil's gate actually happened, kind of like Stull, but in a bit of a different way." He didn't reply, he just lowered his head to look over the roughed-up boots he was wearing. "Yeah, so since things here happened to you and TV-Sam in a similar way to a point, I'm going to guess that your visions didn't stop with the death of Azazel."

He turned to me once again, this time his eyes locked on mine, his empty hand clenched in a fist. Yep, I knew that name would get him and I watched him try to control everything that wanted to pour out of him.

"Sam, I love you, I want to know what's going on, so just talk to me." My hand didn't fall away from his back, instead I gripped his shirt and waited, but he turned back and looked up at the sky instead. Did I go on? Did I continue prying because that was what my brain told me to do, keep digging because sooner or later, he was going to have to know the truth, the real truth on why his mother died. "Okay," I cleared my throat and adjusted my footing on the bench. "So, my whole spiel, this whole "let's compare", I'll just get to the point of it. Your visions haven't stopped, it's why you've been so moody, you're having nightmares and Sam, you were having them while we were together in Oklahoma."

He sat up straight, shifting away from my hand, from my touch and he looked at me, his eyes dark with the anger that I knew was in there somewhere. He shook his head, his lips locked tight and I wanted to just let it go, but I could see the frustration on his face, like he had lost the ability to find his words, to get his thoughts out.

"You had one before we met, about our meeting," I whispered, watching his eyes grow wide at the idea, but he didn't deny it, and that was when all of my theories on how and why finally connected. "You knew who I was the moment you turned around in that booth and you knew what was coming."

"Ali," I watched as he closed his eyes and turned away and I reached out to him again, this time, to hell with the shirt, I grabbed his arm, catching his attention again. This time he nearly backed me up against the bench as he leaned into me. His breathing was shallow and his lips were parted but the hardness in his eyes fade. "I saw you in my dreams, I saw the vampire attack," he reached a shaky hand out and his fingers brushed my skin as his pushed my hair back from my shoulder. "I…" he swallowed hard, "I saw you die, and I couldn't let that happen, I couldn't… I needed to know you."

"Sam, I…" what do you say to that exactly? His breath was shaky and the tips of his fingers brushed my cheek as he placed his forehead against mine.

"You were so… are so beautiful," he sighed and I smiled at the compliment but knew the other shoe was about to drop, wait, I take back drop, the bastard was about to plummet from thirty-seven thousand feet. "When I feel sleep after I knocked on your door, after the headlight, I had another vision."

"Sam," I pressed and reached out to cup my hands on his cheeks, pushing him away so that he would look into my eyes, "tell me what you saw."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his own fingers tangling in my hair, "I'm so sorry, Ali, you were supposed to die."

"What?" I moved away from him, but then changed my mind, and turned quickly so that I had him pinned down to the bench, sitting on his lap as I faced him, the emotions that crossed his face almost let me speechless… almost. "Do you know how much crap you can churn up by screwing with the natural order of things? Sam, you of all people know that things happen for a reason."

"I couldn't let you, not like that," he whispered but it wasn't like he was he was mad that I was scolding him, he said it more like he was pleading with me to understand. I let my fingers trail down to rest on his chest as his lips trembled, not sure if he was on the verge of crying or if it was because of all the other emotions, and his thumb caressed my cheek. "I kept thinking afterwards that it was meant to be, that I was meant to save you, that I had seen it wrong, because you swung."

"Yeah, how about that," I said still a little shocked, "and you know why I swung that blade? Because friggin Cas told me to." I had never told him that before, or maybe I might have, but I didn't really get into it. There was a voice that night, once at the Waffle House, once in the room, the first told me that the boys would keep me safe and the second was to swing like my life depended on it, well, apparently it really did. Sam looked at me in shock, yeah, I must have left that out. And I'm pretty sure I left it out when I wrote the trip story down the first time. Cas was with me, with me through it all. "I wasn't supposed to die, was I? Because if someone above was watching and that was the way it was supposed to be, why send me you, why send me Cas?"

"Cas told you too?" Sam whispered.

"Not that I wouldn't have done it on my own but, Sam, I was terrified. You were bleeding and this thing was coming at me, and I just listened to the voice in my head. I swung." I took a breath and let it out, trying to relax my body in order to get him to do the same. "You were exactly where you were supposed to be, Sam, your vision was wrong."

"So why am I having them again?" He seemed so lost at that moment, and I bit down on my lower lip, let my face show my concern as he glanced over my lips then stared into my eyes. "Why am I having visions of you dying again?"

"I don't know, baby," I sighed, brushed his hair back from his face and leaned in, kissing him lightly on the lips. "I don't know, but I think we need to get to Danni and Dean."

"We were with them," he sighed, and I sat back a little, confused. "When you died in my vision, Ali, we were with my brother and Danni." He shook his head. "I want to keep you as far away from them as I can, but I know we have to go." Sam sat forward, capturing me around the waist with one arm as he placed his palm against my cheek with the other. "Promise me, Al, promise me as soon as this case is done that you'll run, run far away from us."

"I'm not," I smiled, thinking he was joking but I could see the seriousness in his eyes. "I'm not going to run from you Sam, not from you."

"You don't understand, Ali," he drew in a deep breath as his emotions started to surface and his eyes glistened with something, fear, hatred, disgust, "you have to run from me," he sighed, "I think I'm the one that kills you."

Okay, pump the brakes! I slid from his lap, from his touch all together and placed my hands over my mouth. Sam's visions, if correct, which is questionable since he got the first one wrong, was that he killed me! I mean forget the fact that I died in the first place, but Sam killing me? Okay, there was just something cosmically wrong with that picture.

I turned back to him, running my hands though my hair as I collected myself, and repeated the same mantra in my head over and over: not gonna freak out, not gonna freak out!

Yeah, total freak out!

"Okay, um, let's just get back in the car and go," I stated, in a rather calm voice, because if we didn't move, I was so totally going to freak the hell out.

Sam stood, not sure on what we were going to do but he took the driver's side and I slide into the seat he had occupied before, having to adjust the back so that I wasn't laying so flat. With a deep breath, I curled my legs up against me as I buckled the belt and stared out the window while he backed out and headed down the highway once more.

Where the hell had that conversation gone so completely sideways? How exactly did we get on the subject that I was going to die? Better yet, what exactly did I do that would make it so SAM had to kill me and Danni and Dean didn't do a thing to stop me in time?

All these things, went through my mind as we drove. Holy hell I was in for a long day, and we still had more than two hours to go, two very, very long hours.

Note to self: when thinking of the worst possible way that you could die, always leave out the song that you get stuck in your head, one that has to do with falling into a cement mixer, frying getting a suntan, or being eaten by a lion. What the hell was Sam listening to? My mind was taken off the thoughts of my own death and brought back to the strange radio station that played through the speakers, which made me turn in my seat and look over at the grin on his face.

"What the hell, Sam?" I questioned and watched as his blue-green eyes landed on mine.

"You weren't answering me. I figured you were off in your own little world and I know the only thing that keeps you locked in those little places is the music you listen to, so I switched the station." He shrugged and turned back to the road. Confused, I rubbed my forehead and adjusted my position in the seat as I studied the expression on his face.

"So, Train?" I smiled, and watched the corner of his lips go up. "You thought it would be best to get me out of a thought with "50 ways to say goodbye"? You do know she drowns in a hot tub right?"

All I could see was the smile widening on his face and that was just what I was looking for. I wasn't at all mad about the song, in fact, it was one of my favorite ones, but I wanted him to think he was getting the best of me. With a huff, I sat back in my seat and watched him for a few more minutes before his eyes glanced sideways in my direction.

My brain thought of a million and a half things that I wanted to ask him, and I think he knew it because he reached his hand over and placed it over mine. I hadn't realized I was wringing my hands together nervously until he stopped the motion, and in turn it started my foot bouncing.

"What?" He whispered, it wasn't a harsh question, he just knew I wanted something.

"It can wait, it would probably be better to ask Dean," this caught his attention and he turned his head in my direction, looking me straight in the eyes for a few second before he looked at the road.

"What do you need to ask Dean that would have to do with me?" Now this time there was definitely a bit of a bite to the words that passed his lips.

"I don't," I paused, and thought about how to actually come out with it because the more I wanted to know, the more it might hurt him to dig up his past. "I don't want to upset you, Sam, I'm just curious about things, you know timeline differences and stuff."

"Is it about me, though?" He seemed to take the explanation without much issue but the thought of me talking to Dean about his childhood seemed to upset him more.

"Not so much, I guess," I shrugged. "Do you want to hear the question and then can decide for yourself?"

He glanced at me again, not just out of the corner of his eyes, but he actually made contact to see that I really wasn't trying to blow him off. I watched as one shoulder came up in a shrug, but in all that time his hand never moved from mine and I found a way to intertwine our fingers.

"Yeah, okay," but his voice was unsure.

"So, Sam leaves for college, Dean goes off with John, but that's not what happens to you. The gap that we saw through the show was that it started with Sam in college, a few years in, and Dean had come to get him." I watched as he faced the road, taking in my words, weighing them as I also tried to figure out his expressions, his feelings. "Dean reacted when I told him those words, Sam, the one little sentence that started the whole series, so what exactly happen to you and Dean if those words got the same reaction?"

"I," he started but I watched him bite the inside of his lip gently, before he took a breath, one that made his chest rise. "I separated from them, I had decided that I needed to be on my own. I was nineteen, and angry, and so stupid."

"So, Dean did come and get you?" Sam nodded, his lips growing tight, and he let out a long breath.

"Dean and I weren't really on speaking terms at that point, so when he showed up I was somewhere in Arizona, Wickenburg if I remember the name correctly. Population of six thousand or so people but one hell of a ghost problem." I watched as his eyes faded into those memories, but this time they didn't seem to bring out the emotion that the ones of his childhood had, maybe because they weren't connected to the dreams or maybe because he was concentrating on what Dean was like at that time. "It was supposed to be a typical salt and burn, just vengeful spirits kind of thing, you know something that you can handle on your own, but it turned out to be just a bit more."

"Did you call him to help, or did he just show up?"

"No," Sam shook his head, sucked his teeth for a second, and adjusted in the seat. "Dean never just shows up and I didn't call. Apparently, the case was on his radar already but Dad had been gone for too long, Bobby hadn't heard from him either so Dean just decided that the case was something he could handle. We were both wrong."

"What happened?"

"Necromancer," Sam shrugged it off as if it were nothing major, but I could see there was more to it, so I waited for him to continue. "Yeah, a badass one as a matter of fact. I was pretty much dead on my feet when Dean came in."

"You, dead on your feet?" I smiled and watched him give me a little grin.

"Yeah, up for more than three days straight digging and burning the bastards. I really should have called in backup but I was pigheaded."

"Not much has changed in that department." I mumbled and felt him give me a little squeeze of my hands.

"You're right," he snickered and glanced at me, "still pigheaded as ever, but yeah, Dean kinda saved my ass. By the time, I got down to the who, the monsters had grown in number to the point that there was no way to stop them. Digging up the whole cemetery wouldn't even have done the trick and no amount of salting and burning the corpses would have stopped it. I finally had the guy cornered, some little jerk with a bad temper and a need for revenge on someone else in the town. He got his hands on an old grimoire and basically opened a can of worms he couldn't control, so I thought. He apparently had learned a little bit about what he was doing and managed to get me backed up against a wall. I thought I was dead. I was exhausted, beaten to a pulp, and you know the only thing I could think of as I lay there waiting for this monster of a dead man, some Frankenstein creation, to bring the ax down on me was how much I wanted to see him, how much I really wanted my brother with me at the end."

"Did he swoop in and save your ass?" I meant it as a joke but it came out a little more serious than I expected.

"Actually, he did." Sam sighed, giving a little shake of his head. "He, ah, not only saved my ass, he waited until I was able to walk around on my own before he threw the little gem of: Dad's on a hunting trip and hasn't been home in a few days. Funny, I thought I wouldn't care about Dad at all at that point, but after what I had gone through, I was scared to death for him. I didn't want to admit it, but I guess being so close to it myself, I thought God, this can't be the way Dad goes, killed at the hand of some monster. So, when I was better, I got on the road with Dean."

"Okay, so that's not so bad." He nodded, but I noticed his expression didn't lighten. "Sam?"

"Yeah, it actually was pretty bad," he replied after taking a moment to collect his thoughts. "I didn't know how bad it had gotten for Dean. Dad used him to keep me in line, to make sure I was the one that stuck to the rules, whatever they were that week, or day, or month, but when I left, I didn't realize that I left Dean wide open for what I thought was just Dad's reaction to my behavior."

Wait, John's reaction to Sam's behavior? Did that mean what I thought it did?

"Did your dad hit you?" Sam's head whipped in my direction, his face full of fear or surprise, it was hard to tell but he was quickly shaking his head.

"Not unless I swung first," he defended John and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or bad.

"But he hit back?"

"Yeah, when I was older, that was one of the main reasons I left, because I was too afraid." Sam sighed, "I was so angry, so out of control, I thought I could have killed him at any point. I thought I might hurt Dean and I couldn't live with that, so I left. The problem was Dad was so used to confrontations with me that when it came to Dean, it was the only way he knew how to deal, so Dean started having to swing back and…"

"John was abusing him?" Again, it wasn't really a question to Sam but a thought that went through without stopping at my filter.

"It wasn't abuse, not in Dean's eyes. It was Dean being a good son, defending himself, making sure that Dad knew that Dean could handle whatever was thrown at him. Not that Dean was weak at all, I mean he kept me in line, hell he held me down more than once, more than I can count actually. He was the one that should have gone off to college, he's a frigging genius, but I left, I went and left him holding the bag." Using his knee to keep the wheel still, Sam ran a hand through his hair and then slammed it down onto the hardened plastic. "Dean came out of that situation harder, rougher and downright dangerous. He wasn't the playful brother I remembered anymore, I mean Dean could have a hell of a sense of humor and he knew how to use it to get what he wanted, but he was edgy and serious when he found me."

"What happened when you went to look for John?"

"Sometimes, after the hunts we did while we followed whatever clues Dad left, Dean would do what we always did, head to the nearest bar, pick up the neediest woman," his eyes glanced quickly in my direction to see if I was offended, I wasn't, and he continued. "Anyway… there was a few times that Dean got out of hand, not many but I would walk in on him, half-drunk, scaring the hell out of the woman. He never touched her, never once, but the shit he was saying, Ali," his fingers squeezed mine a little harder and he let out a deep growl. "I don't know what he did to Dean, and my brother is too stubborn to tell me anything, even now, but I honestly didn't know if I wanted to find Dad after what I saw him become, I didn't know if I wanted to save him, because I was so dead set on killing him."

"Jesus, Sam." I closed my eyes as he rubbed the scruff on his cheek. "I'm sorry."

"It was what it was, I guess, I mean Dean has… he's not as bad as he once was. When he hits the bottle now, it just kind of rolls through him, but that might be because of Cas and not actually dealing with the problem." Sam looked over at me, trying to give me a reassuring wink as that sly little grin crossed his lips. "Ali, I was supposed to be the dark one, I was supposed to be the one with issues, the demon blood, but Dean hasn't gotten anything but crap since he came back from Hell, from being with Alistair. I mean that alone was crap enough."

"Cas brought him back, right? I mean, he pulled him out of hell?"

"Yeah, brought him back, but the damage was done. Even if I wanted to help him, there was no way I could. Hell changes you, being on that rack, that changes you. Dean, though, Dean is so much stronger than I am because no matter how black it looked, he was the one that told me we could get through it. I never bothered with it, it didn't really affect me. I could have taken or left it, it didn't matter personally, but because it was something he was fighting for," Sam paused, "I couldn't let my brother down again, I confessed that once, that my greatest sin was how many times I had let him down, but not now, not again. Until you, it was always Dean first, Ali."

"It should be Dean first, Sam, it should always be family first." I shrugged and honestly believed it. I was what I instilled in my children and I certainly wasn't going to try and change Sam because of my wanting to be closer to him. No, it was the reason I pushed him to go with Cas in the beginning, to leave me when I went home from Oklahoma. Sam needed to put Dean first because Dean needed him.

"Family?" He smiled and lifted my hand up to kiss the back of my knuckles, "you realize that you're part of it now, right, so it's you first too." His eyes scanned over my face, lingering at my lips as he rolled to a stop. I hadn't even realized we moved off the highway to the rest area. "It will always be you first, you and Dean and Danni."

"Where are we going?" I laughed as he continued to kiss my fingers, moving down each knuckle. He looked up just in time to roll to the gas pump, lean over the seat and kiss me softly on the lips. It wasn't a quick kiss, more of a lingering one before he was out the door, and I was left totally confused. "What the hell just happened?"


	38. DH God Killers - 5

**Chapter 5**

I had reclined the seat back, my eyes closed and put my foot out the window as Sam put gas in the Charger. It was then, as I was trying to relax and wrap my head around the in-depth conversation that Sam and I had about Dean that my phone rang.

Looking at the caller ID, I rolled my eyes and placed it to my ear activating the call. I heard him clear his throat, the very man we had just been discussing was now waiting patiently to say hello.

"Dean?" I whispered and heard him sigh.

"Hey Ali, you guys almost here or what?" I smiled at his impatience and brought the seat up to sitting position and glanced at Sam as he looked at his watch.

"Stopped for gas." I answered and thought of what Sam had told me about his brother. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just a little antsy I guess," he admitted and that made me think that either Danni wasn't in the room or he was guarding his answers. "You know how I get about Sammy." Ah-ha, I'm sure that was it completely, which was total sarcasm on my part because I knew he was holding back it was just a matter of time before he let it out, and that was exactly the way it played out, "and you."

"Danni's not there, is she?"

"Nah, she went for a snack run. You know, beer and pie."

"You do know that eventually that crap will kill you."

"Yeah, well." he sighed again and I knew something was bothering him.

"Dean, why did you call? I mean don't get me wrong I love the sound of your voice but you shouldn't be sneaking around behind Danni's back just to get a phone call in."

"I'm not so sure she would understand." I was the one that sighed this time. Dean hadn't figured out the need any more than I had and worse the distance between us had made me almost itchy for his touch. And how exactly do you tell that to your sister? "I, ah, I just needed to check on you, Al."

"I get that Dean, I do but it can't be done this way. It's not fair. Promise me that you'll tell her when she gets back."

"Yeah, okay," he whispered and the next breath came out as if he weren't just blowing air.

"I thought you gave those up," and I talking about the American Spirits he was not so addicted to.

"Another bad habit I can't drop."

"Wait you have more than one?" I laughed. And listened to him snicker.

"Four right now, the two of you, these, and Danni." he laughed and unheard him take a drag.

"Did you tell her yet?" I smiled, remembering the late night drunken phone call where Dean had come clean about his feelings for her. You know one of the kind of conversations that changed your life.

"Not gonna let that drop are you?"

"You haven't let go of the whole Sam Skype incident?" He was silent but I could hear the "hmmph" as he thought about it, probably smiling. "So, no, I'm not dropping the fact that you're in love with my sister." I watch as Sam put the gas cap back on and knocked on the window, letting me know he was headed to the restroom. "Though the Skype really was kind of funny." He was quiet for a moment. "Tell me about the case."

"I thought Danni did."

"I wanna hear about it from you."

"Okay, well the store didn't have any EMF activity, no ghost activity and no cursed object vibes." Dean sighed.

"What about the mirror?"

"Just looked like an ordinary mirror to me and Sam, I mean, it really wasn't until Danni started freaking out at the motel that we even thought of it. She was the one that showed us the pictures she took of it, of the writing on the back, but since we couldn't place it, we just thought maybe someone had scratched it up." I could almost see Dean shrugging it off in my mind and I rolled my eyes, scratches…yeah right. "Anyway, Danni goes out for a few minutes, grabs some stuff out of the car and comes back in freaking out that we needed to get you and you needed to be here, like yesterday, so we did our usual, and Sammy won. He was off to collect our missing member. You."

"Okay, so she didn't give you any real reason why I needed to be there? I mean, don't you think that sounds a little fishy to you?" I was confused by the whole thing, the way that Danni reacted, the way that Sam and Dean had no clue to even… "Hey Dean, did you look in the mirror?"

"No, there wasn't any reason to," he answered completely nonchalant.

"Did Danni?" I wasn't fishing, I was hoping to rule out what I thought was just a simple puzzle.

"Yeah, she was the one that pointed it out, I would assume that she had looked into it," I could hear the curiousness growing in his voice. "Ali, you're starting to scare me, what's with the questions?"

"One last one and I swear I'll tell you," I replied and took a breath, crossing fingers and toes (if I could) that I got the answer I wanted. "Did Sam?"

"What?"

"Did Sam look into the mirror at all, I mean even a tiny peek?"

Dean let out a breath and thought for a second before answering. "No. No, there would have been no way, he was right beside me the whole time and we were on the other side of the store. Why is there something wrong with Sammy? What's going on?"

"I don't think those were scratches, there's a reason why I had Danni send them to Carol. I think they were really writing, some different kind that we've never seen before," and I did a hell of a good job lying because I knew what they were, I could read them, I knew what it said, but I had to sit on it until I could get to where all of us were together.

"Okay, fine, what's going on with Sam?" I heard that protective side come out in him.

"Nothing, he's good, I mean, we're almost there, Dean." I breathed in a sigh, and heard him let one out.

"So, what's your theory?" Wow, really couldn't pull one over on him.

"Still forming it, but don't go back and the shop and don't let her look in that mirror again." I watched as Sam started heading back towards the car. "Promise me, Dean. Promise that you won't let her go anywhere near that shop."

"Okay, Kid, I promise," he stated with concern and cleared his throat. "Danni's back."

"So is Sam," I answered and closed my eyes. "It won't be long, Dean, just a few more hours."

"It feels like you've been on the road all day," he groaned, "would you get here already?"

"Yeah, we're headed out now, just hang on," I smiled, but it slowly faded. "Tell her, Dean, I mean it, tell her that we had this conversation, don't hide it from her." That was about the time that Sam slipped into the car. "Say you will, Winchester, or I will come in kicking ass!"

"Calm down, woman!" He laughed and I heard Danni's boots approaching. "I'll tell her as soon as you hang up."

"Yeah, whatever," I blew out the breath I was holding, took the phone away from my ear and pressed the "End" icon, disconnecting the call before I glanced at Sam. "That was Dean. He said: hurry up and get here."

"He said a lot more than that," Sam smiled and handed me another coffee but also a bagel with cream cheese. "You need to eat something."

"So, do you, and bunny food isn't going to cut it." I sassed back and watched him give me a look like he was not going to be lectured, but then pulled a protein bar out of his pocket and gave it a gentle wiggle, before starting the car up. I smiled and opened the bagel up. Okay, maybe I wasn't completely satisfied with his choice, but at least it was something and he was eating it.

The last leg of the trip we completely kept away from the past, from Sam's history and especially from Dean's because now I was interested in the fact of what the hell exactly happened between him and John. Dean looked like the kind of guy to go in swinging, and the picture that Sam painted was that he had always been that way, so why would fights with John put him in such a dark place.

So, it was settled, Dean and I really, really needed to have a chat.

The ride wasn't as long as I thought, or maybe it was because I was lost in thoughts that I didn't realize the time, but I know I sat up straighter, got a little more excited, and found it hard to sit still in the seat as we pulled up into the motel parking lot.

There she was, that beautiful, sleek, black beauty that had saved our lives, and the boys too many times to count, and she was there, in all her glory as the fading sun shined off what looked like a fresh wax job. Sam laughed quietly at the way I stared at the car, but he didn't realize just how much she meant to me. She brought me Sam, she brought me Dean, and so many other memories that she was a part of me. She was home, and with that home came the two men I love most.

He backed up along side her, in order to get better access to the trunk and I couldn't wait to get out and touch her, though I'm pretty positive that Dean would have cut my hand off if I had left finger prints on her at all. His smile widened bringing out those dimples as I grinned in his direction before hopping out of the car if only to walk around her.

I stopped on the opposite side of baby, on Dean's side and I leaned down into the open windows, placing my arms on the chrome. Sam, as he got out, closed the door quietly and slowly leaned down to look in on me as I just stared at the backseat. My eyes gazing over the interior, I remembered him holding me as I slept on the way to Joplin, the way he curled around me on the way back from Tulsa and how comfortable we were just laying together before the vampires struck.

It was then that a smile crossed my face because I thought of the one thing we had never done in the car. I looked up from under my brows, bit down on the corner of my lip and watched the knowing smile cross Sam's face as he gave me a wink, held my gaze for what was way too long to be anything but inviting and I watched the blue-green of them darken with want. Yeah, I loved that we were so in tune with each other's needs, and boy did I need that man.

He popped the trunk and grabbed a few of the bags as I made my way over to take a few of my own, and snatch my hunting pack out of the back seat of the car. Sam was on his way out of the opened hotel room when I was about to step in, catching part of a conversation that I ever expected.

"Okay, that I get, but what the hell is a De-sti-el?" Dean questioned, as if trying to pronounce the word while reading it from paper and I turned the corner into the room to see him doing just that, but from a tablet. I dropped the pack, probably a bad idea with all the stuff that was in it and stared at him as Danni cracked up laughing and looked up at me. "I mean, that word makes absolutely no sense."

"Says the man who can understand seven different written, oh and DEAD, languages." Danni laughed and shook her head.

"Oh, please tell me you are not reading fanfiction," I pleaded and watched his brow crease in confusion.

"No, I'm reading this story about me and Cas," he announced and I walked over, apparently, it was to hell with the formalities of hugs and "how have you been", forget that we hadn't seen each other in a few months because we picked up right where we left off. I snatched the tablet away and rolled my eyes as I read the description of some sort of torrid love affair between Cas and Dean in the bunker, and shook my head. "Jesus, Danni, you let him read this?"

"He was kind of Googling himself," and she couldn't help the smile that came along with the sentence.

"Okay, rule number one," I said and turned to Dean, "don't… Google anything about yourself, ever." I gave him back the tablet and turned to look up at Sam, "and don't binge watch Supernatural on Netflix." I glanced at Dean and snatched it away again. "And stay off Tumblr for, Chuck sake!"

"Um," Danni agree, a grin spreading across her cheeks, "just… stick to the porn sites."

"Okay, hold up," Dean growled. "Before you start barking orders, someone want to tell me what has your panties all up in a bunch and what the hell is a Destiel?"

"It's a ship," I started and watched the confusion spread across his face, which made Danni look at me for help.

"A relationship that fans see together, they call it shipping." I added and watched as Dean looked up at Sam, who stood beside me shrugging. I closed my eyes and rubbed the bridge of my nose as I smiled. "Destiel, is Dean and Castiel…together."

"Like, together-together?" Sam whispered, and I nodded. "Well, that isn't at all strange."

"It's 2017, Sam, two guys can be together."

"Yeah, me and Cas, not happening," Dean grumbled and that was when I smiled.

"That's why it's called fanfiction." He looked at me, every expression on his face went completely blank as if he were saying that he wasn't amused. "Because fans write it and they do whatever the hell they want in it." I waited for it to sink in and when it did, Dean just shook his head.

"You people are sick," he stated sarcastically, but I know he was flattered that people were writing about him, even if it wasn't really him they were thinking of but Jensen Ackles. "What about you, do you do this whole "ship" thing?"

"Why would I ship," I looked up at Sam, "I got all the Winchesters I can handle right here." I turned back to Dean and gave him a wink.

"Okay enough of this crap," Danni smiled and stood up from the chair, she turned towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug, one that I had been waiting for all day. I let out all the tension, all of the frustration I had been holding in and closed my eyes, my own arms taking her into an embrace. "I've missed my sister."

"And she's missed you." I whispered back, not letting her go, not for a few minutes yet, but she pushed me back and glanced at Dean, which got me a little more than curious as to what was going on. Dean stood, cleared his throat and I heard Sam shift beside me. Looking up at the moose of a man, Sam leaned down and kissed me softly, before caressing my cheek, and turning towards the door.

"Gonna grab the rest of the bags," he murmured and stepped out of the room. Danni let me go, gave me one raised brow and patted me on the shoulders.

"I'll help," she stated and headed towards the door, leaving me to stare at the green-eyed Winchester before me, but that was when I heard Sam's voice, low and laughing.

"Oh, I get it… shipping," he chuckled, "like you and Ali would be Danali."

"Okay, don't go there!" Danni replied but laughed at the comment, "just step away from the shipping, don't make eye contact…"

Her voice trailed off as I watched Dean take a step towards me, his hands rubbing on his thighs as if his palms were sweaty. He stopped not more than three feet from me, just out of arms reach and looked me over, as if he were checking for something, anything that he could protect me from. But I watched the emotions rise in his eyes as he realized I really was okay and suddenly the distance was gone.

He was an overpowering force, his arms wrapping around me, cocooning me in something I needed for a month and a half, a safe place where the monsters and the spirits I had chosen to fight couldn't come back to harm me, a sanctuary where the thought of demons and vampires all but disappeared. I felt his lips against my head, in the spot they always landed before they were replaced by his cheek and I buried my face against his shirt, the same smell of distinct Dean was there, just as I remembered, cars, gas, his cologne, deodorant, the scent of his skin and those damned cigarettes, all just perfectly Dean.

"You've been hunting," he scolded, but his voice cracked with the emotions that filled him, and he pushed back just a little so I could look into his eyes, his fingers brushing over my cheek. "Why the hell have you been hunting?"

"Because I can, Dean," was all I had for him, "because with everything that was going on, I needed an out."

"Why didn't you tell me, I could have helped."

"I had all the help I needed," and when his palm pressed against my skin, I leaned into it. This connection was so strong, but it wasn't the same as Sam, I wasn't in love with Dean, but I loved him just as much. Sam was my guardian, my protector, my everything, and Dean was equally that. I took a shaking breath and just looked at him, the scar on his cheek was fading and I reached up to trace it with my thumb, a touch he closed his eyes too. "If I had told you, what would you have honestly done?"

"Come up there, kicked you in the ass and locked you in the house," he answered truthfully, opening his eyes to look down, still scolding. "You have kids, you should be looking out for them."

"I have been, trust me." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Whatever is after me and Danni, whatever this _thing_ is, it won't touch my kids."

"You don't know that, you're not there to protect them all the time." I smiled up at him when he finished saying this. "What? What did you do?"

"Let's just say there isn't a thing my kids don't wear, eat, bath with, or carry that isn't warded and some sort of barrier of protection. A demon can't get within ten feet of one of them without being smoked out."

"What are you playing with?" He stepped back, put his hands on my upper arms and I watched the seriousness return to his face. Yep, he was concerned again.

"Crowley gave me the knowledge, Dean, when he made that deal with my grandmother. Stuff I can use to protect my house and my family, something I would use on you, Sam and Danni in an instant if you asked, but I'm not delving into anything dark." I replied, and watched him roll his eyes, shake his head and step away. "I told you, I'm not a witch, not a bad one."

"But you're playing with magic," he turned and leaned against the table, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared, annoyance in his eyes.

"Yeah, and so do you and Sam, please tell me what the difference is."

He paused for a moment as I walked up and pressed against his legs, making him widen his step as I moved up and we connected at the waist. His arms uncrossed and his hands came down to land on my hips.

"You're right, there isn't a difference, but the more you use it, Al, the more addicting it becomes," he warned and placed his forehead against mine.

Maybe Cas was wrong, maybe Sam was wrong, maybe whatever this connection was, this need for physical contact wasn't anything but that, a need because he wasn't checking me for damage, to see if Sam had hurt me in anyway, he was just holding me, at least until the sound of someone clearing their throat from behind me. Dean picked his head up and by the look in his eyes, I could tell that Sam was standing there, but the grin on Dean's face said Sam wasn't looking at his brother.

"He's looking at my ass, isn't he?" I whispered and the smile only got wider. I turned towards Sam, leaned back against Dean, who just kind of adjusted the hands on my hips and watched as the younger of the two brothers scanned me over again from head to toe. "Dean, ah," I whispered, looking at the wanting way Sam stared at me, "could we borrow the car?"

"You have your own…" he started and then grabbed me by the shoulders, used his hips to push at me from behind and stood me up straight before he stepped aside and pointed his finger at me, then at Sam, "ut-uh, you ain't doing that stuff in _my_ car. Take the Charger, I'm sure that plastic piece of crap has enough vibration in it for you to get off."

"It's just not like the Impala," I laughed, finding myself teasing him as I reached out and grabbed both Dean and Sam by the shirts, but I didn't take my eyes off the older Winchester. "It doesn't have just the right kind of rumble to get me where I need to go."

Dean's head literally rolled on his shoulders and he playfully swatted my hand away from his chest when he moved over to the table to grab his coffee. His eyes darted from me to Sam, gave us a disgusted look and stepped to move by us before he stopped and gave us each a nasty glare.

"You two seriously need to get a room," he sassed as he walked out, which left Sam all smiled as he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me to him.

I laughed as Sam's arms snaked around me and he pulled me to the bed so that I was sitting on his lap. My hands went automatically to that hair that loved to fall about his face and he closed his eyes, letting the feeling of my fingers calm him.

"Did you get all unpacked?" I questioned as one of my hands fell to his neck and I slid my thumb under his chin, lifting his neck so that it was exposed to me. I planted gentle kisses along the artery there, feel the pulse beneath my lips and I heard him give a quiet growl.

"Mmm-hmm," he sounded off and I smiled. "I have another room."

My lips left his skin, blazing a trail up to his ear as he sighed and when I whispered, I felt the chill rush through his body.

"Later, definitely later," I smiled and felt his hand come up to my face, placing his palm firmly against me when I laid my head on his shoulder. "Until then, I think we need to figure something out."

"Like a mirror with symbols we don't understand?" Danni's voice questioned and it was then that I realized why Sam had moved me from the precarious position against his neck, we had an audience.

"Yeah," I sighed, "that." I moved on Sam's lap, adjusting myself so that I was sitting on only one thigh, not that he had small legs, and the part beneath my ass was pure muscle and a complete turn on. "So, it's like nine pm, sun's down, shop's closed up. What's our plan of action?"

"What's our usually plan of action?" Danni smiled and I shook my head.

"B and E on my first night here, wonderful," I groaned and put my head back on Sam's shoulders. His lips came down to my skin, needing that contact as his hand, the one hidden from the view of the other two in the room, snaked under my shirt and pressed against my belly, his thumb caressing the bare skin there. "Do you guys have cat burglar outfits or just paint yourself and go in the buff?"

"Seriously?" Dean asked as he grabbed the computer from Danni's side of the table and gave me a look of uncertainty. "You've completely lost your nuts."

"Well, no, not completely," I replied sarcastically and watched him look back at the computer with just a small shake of his head. Danni grinned at me, loving the fact that everything seemed back to normal. "So what, no cat suits, no buff? We just go in as is?"

"That's usually the plan," Sam answered and suddenly it felt hard to concentrate as his thumb slid up under the edge of my bra.

"Okay," I stood suddenly, not for the reason you would think, I mean, if you had Sam Winchester pawing at you, I'm sure you're first thought would have been the same as mine. The "take me now" kind of thought, but it was the man outside the window that caught my attention. "Two-minute intermission," I breathed, trying to catch my heart as the night sky darkened. "I think I need some air."

With that, I bolted out the door, looking both ways as I stopped by the back bumper of both cars. I watched as he rounded the side of the building, disappearing into the growing blackness and just as I was about to head in that direction, a hand rested on my arm. My head snapped towards the glow of the motel room door and I looked at the wonder in Danni's eyes, just before she narrowed them and opened her mouth to lecture me, but snapped it shut when she saw the look on my face.

"What is it?" She whispered, stepping closer to me, I wanted to open my mouth and tell her everything that I had learned on the trip down, everything that was in Jones' files but I knew she was referring to why I had bolted and not what I was thinking.

"It was," I looked past her at the door, making sure there was a clear view of the boys that sat in there, that they weren't listening before I whispered anyway. "It was Cas, he went around the corner of the building."

"Wait, what the hell is Cas here for?" Danni seemed more shocked than I was that he was hanging around but then I realized.

"You don't know, do you?" I whispered and watched as she gave me this strange and confused expression. "Danni, John's here, in Winchester, Virginia."


	39. DH God Killers - 6

**Chapter 6**

Danni looked at me as if I had six heads, maybe more, but that didn't stop me from getting just slightly annoyed that I was still standing there, and Castiel was hiding around the corner waiting for me. I grabbed her wrist, raised my brow and decided that I had had it with waiting. Sticking my head into the room, her wrist still in my hands, I smiled at Sam.

"Danni and I are going to take a walk, just to get a few sodas," I winked at him and Sam gave a bit of a shrug, as if to tell me that I didn't need his permission, but Dean started to rise, the word "what" just about to leave his lips, when I winked at him and closed the door behind me.

I tugged on the hand that suddenly held mine, taking Danni in the direction that Cas had disappeared too, and my free hand found the handle of the small Walther P22 that was tucked in the back of my jeans. Danni stopped mid-stride and when I looked at her, she was giving me this face, as if she were about to smack me if I didn't let go and her eyes went to the wrist I held.

Letting out a breath between parted lips, I uncurled my fingers and released her. Instantly she went for her gun, slipping it out of the holster at her hip and wiggled her brows at me with a smile etching across her lips. I gave a slight grin, clicked back the slide and gestured silently as we both moved in the same direction, forward.

Rounding the corner, we came face to face with nothing, and I mean nothing! Not Cas, not demons, not even a trash barrel, but we kept moving, our feet as silent as possible on the ground below. I took up the front, crouched low, knees bent but my eyes were everywhere at once. The only breathing I could hear was from the woman behind me. Danni had my back, seeing things that I might have missed, going high as I looked low but I knew the pattern her lungs made and I knew when she stopped. Glancing behind me, just for a second, I noticed her standing straight, looking off to her left and I moved the gun before my body, taking stock of what was there, just before I spotted the man in the dark suit.

"Jesus, Cas!" I growled, standing up straight as he stepped out from the darkness, the ever stoic look on his face as he glanced between the two of us and then down at the guns.

"You won't need those," he spoke softly and both of us made sure the weapons were safe before stashing them away.

"What are you doing out here?" Danni questioned and watched as Cas stopped just a few feet away, drawing her and I closer so that the conversation was kept as quiet as possible.

"I wanted to check in on you and see that you arrived safely," he looked me over from head to toe and back. "I see Sam kept his word to deliver you unharmed."

"As always, you little snot!" I said as I rolled my eyes and this got a small smile, almost a hint of laughter from him as the corner of his lip turned up. "Now really, what's going on?"

"Something is in the area," he sighed and looked down for a moment, as if listening before his eyes flickered between mine and Danni's never settling for too long. "Have you been to the store yet? Have you seen the mirror?" He was staring at me now and with a worried look, I shook my head. "Be careful when you do go, something is guarding it, something that I've never felt before."

I watched as he pulled a letter-sized envelope from the inside of his suit jacket and handed it off to me. "And what's this, more homework?"

"It's the missing piece of the puzzle that you were having difficulty with the last few days, the one piece that you kept telling me didn't feel correct in your family tree." He answered, his hands by his side once again. "I managed to find it and though I don't believe it will be an issue as far as your family line goes, I do think that this suggests you are looking at something beyond an angel and a demon."

"Like what? A giant mutant hamster somewhere down our bloodline?" Danni smiled but Cas set his eyes on her, and his lips grew taunt.

"A hybrid."

"I'm sorry," I spoke up, capturing his attention, "a what?"

"A hybrid, something not only human but also part angel and part demon." He spoke it as if it weren't the worst thing we've ever seen, as if the vampires were scarier than an angel/demon hybrid.

"Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a bad thing?" Danni questioned and Cas merely looked at her, there was something off about this angel. He wasn't acting like his usual pain in the ass self, especially the self he had become around us in the last month and a half and I sent Danni a look, she knew just what I meant. "Cas, what happened?"

"I don't know what you're referring to," he said softly.

"Tell us about the hybrid," it was a theory but I had to try it.

"His name is Zadimus, though he has a last name, it's not important, it' doesn't matter, what does is that he is part of your bloodline, both of yours, and he is well over five-hundred years old." Cas spurted out, but when he stopped talking, he gave a little bit of a head tilt, as if he were confused and his brows furrowed and I heard his jaw snap shut before he looked up at us once again. "Why did I just tell you that?"

"Cas," I stepped forward, cautiously reaching out a hand and while he normally wouldn't have moved, I watched as he took a step back. This action made me stop and I dropped my hand instantly. My angel was full of confusion and no matter which way he thought about it, he couldn't seem to figure out why he would blurt that kind of information out. "Cas," I whispered and watched as his hand slowly came up, palm out and I gingerly placed mine in his, letting his fingers wrap around mine, "are you with me?"

"Technically, I never left," he said smoothly without missing a beat and I watched Danni smile before she shook her head and bit her tongue at the comment.

"I need you to answer a question for me," I whispered, keeping his eyes in constant contact with mine.

"Apparently, that doesn't seem to be an issue at the moment, since I can't seem to keep from answering anything truthfully," he rambled off and yet again, those lips went tight and he frowned.

"Okay, I'm just gonna do a straight up question, no "riddle me this", okay?"

"I… I don't understand that reference," he whispered, getting a little frustrated with himself.

"Just… just forget it," I sighed and rubbed my forehead with my free hand. "Cas, did you go by the shop?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I was on my way to my post, out by the cabin that John is occupying, and stopped into the store to see if I might be able to track down the source of what plagues the town, and Jordan Springs. I didn't find anything out of the ordinary." He admitted.

"Did you find the mirror?" Danni spoke up, seeing where my train of thought was going and I watched him tilt his head, as if he were contemplating not answering her, which was something I found strange, but he only gave her a nod.

"Okay," I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, steadying myself for what I thought might be the answer I didn't want to hear. "Cas, did you _look_ in the mirror? I mean stare into it for any length of time?"

"For precisely 8.12 seconds," he answered, and I shook my head.

"Precisely," Danni whispered and placed a hand on her hip, shaking her head. I looked up at her, my brow raised as a question. "I think I looked at it for three seconds and saw you standing behind me, it was what freaked me out, it's what made me call Cas and take the pictures. You were there, Ali, real as can be, real as right now, and I knew you were 450 miles away, alone."

"So, what, you decided that it would be a good idea to bring me down here… HERE of all places at this time of year? I'm sorry Danni, but did you even think of what we've been doing the last few months. Us being together now is the worst idea ever." She looked at me, hurt crossing her face, reaching her eyes and I took a breath. "I'm sorry, Dan, I didn't mean it."

"Yeah, you did! And you're right, bad timing, wrong town, wrong time." She answered, looking furiously at me. "But, I had to know that you were safe, I needed to see with my own eyes that you weren't sitting in the dark, in that damn basement, staring at the walls hoping something, anything, would pop out at you, or worse that Jones had given you something stronger than a vengeful spirit to salt and burn, since you seem so hell-bent on proving that you can take care of yourself."

I stood silent for a minute. She was right, of course, I was so obsessed with the family line and with the cases that what she was thinking was exactly what I was doing, except she was wrong about one thing. Jones gave me some cases and yes, mostly spirits, but it was Carol's investigating that had led me to a Wendigo in New York, a vampire in Connecticut, and some ghoul in northern New Hampshire.

"Okay," I sighed, "I get it, and I'm sorry. Things have just piled up and they're getting worse, the mythology, the shit storm we're about to jump into, and we don't even know anything about these blades let alone now we find out we have some angelic hell-bitch hybrid on our tails as well. Danni, come on, you have to see the crap that we are being handed here."

"I see it, I've been seeing it over your shoulder for the six weeks, Ali, and I think I see it clearer than you do sometimes. We are royally screwed and there is nothing we can do about it," she snapped back, "except do what we do best with the help of those boys, and that's solve this case."

I took a deep breath, knowing that this, well, we'll call it an argument for arguments sake and be done with it, but I knew it was far from over. I was way too obsessed with everything to just let it go. Letting my lungs fill at that moment gave me the opportunity to take in the slightest hint of sulfur in the air, but as I let it out, and sniffed again, it was gone. I stashed that little side note away, hoping it was nothing before I turned back to stare at the confused, blue-eyed angel.

"Cas," I watched him take me in with just a bit of uncertainty. "What did you see in the mirror?"

"Dean," he answered, still honest to a fault, no thought process or filter to block him.

"Alright," I closed my eyes and sighed, "think for a minute, why would you see Dean? What were you thinking about when you looked into the mirror?"

"How much I needed him and how close he was to me, yet, how far away." Yep, not even two seconds of thought and out popped that gem.

"So, the mirror shows you what you really want?" I whispered, not to either of them but as I thought about it, it was the only thing that made sense. "You want Dean," it wasn't a question to him, but a statement, and I heard Danni scoff behind me. As gently as possible, I turned and gave her a look, just one little look. "Not what I meant, want get your mind out of the fanfiction gutter?"

"He wants Dean?" She smiled, "where else do I go with that?"

"Not in a Destiel kind of way," I smiled back. "You wanted me here, it showed you me. Cas wants Dean, to be part of the family again, and it shows him Dean, but Cas stared longer…" I looked up at Cas and shook my head. "We got to go!"

"What?" Danni questioned.

Yeah, it was all making sense to me now but nothing to anyone else and I didn't know if I had the patience to explain, but when I tried to walk away, the hand that held mine stopped me in my tracks and I turned back to look at the angel.

"Castiel," I whispered and watched him stare. It was a blank one, as if he weren't truly there, and the grip on my hand got tighter. The pain wasn't bad but it brought the anger out in me as I ground my teeth to hold back the yelp and even as my jaw clenched, and the fingers between his felt like they were about to break, I reached a hand up and lay my empty palm against his cheek. "Cas, _let go!_ "

He blinked at me, some sort of spark returned to his eyes and he instantly released my hand. Without a word, he gave each of us a look and then turned to disappear into the darkness before we could hear the whoosh of his wings in the night.

I walked past Danni, who followed me towards the edge of the building just as three police cars went flying by with lights and sirens blaring. We stopped to watch them pass before I looked down the row of doors to the boys who were standing outside the room at the end of the cars, and Sam looked up towards me.

"This isn't good at all," I sighed and turned. Danni and I made our way towards the boys, but Dean was already standing at the driver's side door when we arrived. "Two cars?"

"Yep, but Sam and Danni can take the Charger, you and I need to have a little chat," Dean's voice was deep and hurt, not angry but just hurt, and I glanced up at Sam, who just shook his head a bit before getting in behind the wheel of the Dodge. "They're going to follow the 5-0, you and I are headed for a store."

"I didn't know you were the shopping type." I grinned and caught Danni's questioning gaze before I shrugged and slipped into the Impala. Ah, back in Baby, and this time in the front seat. I settled down into the soft interior and let my eyes close as Dean turned the key and the engine roared to life. Sam looked at me through the window, winked and gave a two-finger salute to Dean before he pulled out with Danni beside him. I turned Dean and waited. "Well, we going or what?"

"Or what," he replied and pulled out into the street, turning the opposite way than his brother and we headed into the heart of Winchester, Virginia.

We sat in silence for a few moments, parked at the corner right across from the store, waiting for it to close and for the people to leave, not that the town of Winchester was very large, but it felt as if it were getting small with the human one beside me growing bigger as we waited for the store to close. I finally got fed up, and turned in my seat, looking at him as he stared out the window at the storefront.

"So, what's on your mind, Sugar Pop?" I questioned and watched as he gripped the steering wheel and clenched his jaw.

"Something you wanna talk to me about?" He retorted and looked at me with a raised brow out of the corner of his eye, but I was completely unsure of what he was getting at. "You couldn't come to me with questions, you had to ask Sammy?"

Oh, now I get it.

"Well, if he told you it the right way, and you weren't so stubborn, you would know I did tell him the questions were more for you than him, but he wanted to hear it out. He didn't tell me crap that I hadn't already guessed and if I really wanted to know more, Dean… well, I'm pretty sure you're aware of my lack of filter." I growled and crossed my arms, turning away from him. We were back to that awkward silence again and I never liked it especially with Dean, so sighing was my only course of action, at least sighing until he was forced to look at me, which he did with a scowl on his face. I finally turned to him and relaxed my arms, my hand coming to rest just inches from his on the seat. "Sam told me about his childhood, about how he was when he was growing up, that you were his rock, but the way you reacted when I said that thing about John missing, I knew something was up." I looked up into his green eyes, the ones that had only a hint of anger in them when he realized what I was getting at. "I told him that I was going to ask you, but he thought it was about him, so I let him talk, let him tell me how he felt about the situation."

"Why would you bring that up at all?" His voice was quiet, steady and full of nothing, I mean literally nothing, which was probably a really bad sign. "Of all the things in the past to dig up, you go with Dad's on a hunting trip and expect Sammy, _our_ Sammy, to be okay with that? I get that you were trying to solve the mystery of Sam Freaking Winchester, but that shouldn't include prying around for that."

"I wasn't try to solve Sam, Dean… I was trying to put the puzzle pieces of something else together and that one piece just…" I took a deep breath and collected myself. "The way that you came back and got him, the way you _were_ when you _found_ him, Dean, what the hell happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he clammed up and turned in the seat, but his fingers slid closer to mine, not away and I decided to make the move. I rested my hand over his, my fingers over his fingers, which probably looked like a baby was holding his hand, and tucked the tips between his index and middle. I waited just a minute and felt them close together, trapping even the tiniest parts of me in a protective grip. "Someday, okay?" he asked as he looked over at me, "someday, I'll tell you."

"Okay," I nodded and we went back to that silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable anymore and he didn't let go.

Dean and I sat in silence, staring at the time on his watch, rolling his eyes, but no comments, no words of any kind, at least until the lights went out in the store, just about the same time that the phone on the seat next to our joined hands lit up like a Christmas tree.

I reached for the phone, Dean reached for the door as the own locked up the shop and started to walk away. Giving it a minute to clear out, not that it would take long since we seemed to be the only ones on the entire street, I picked it up and swiped over Danni's text message as Dean looked over. He only released my hand because there was no choice, no way to grab the keys and open the door at the same time. A sigh of frustration left my lips as I also grabbed the handle

We were out of the car simultaneously and he was just waiting on the news as we walked silently across the street and ducked around the back corner, headed towards the alley. Glancing around, he set his eyes on me as we walked.

"So, what d'ya got?" He questioned, and his eyes left mine to make sure we weren't followed, by human or monster.

"Same as the others, murder/suicide, but get this," and his eyes turned to land on mine, which made me smile because though I hadn't meant to, I pulled a Sam line out of the air and put it in the conversation. "They found a receipt from our little store here, and apparently, they had bought some old dishes, and a hairbrush?" I stopped and looked up at him, "who buys someone's old hairbrush… just eww!"

"Maybe it was one of those expensive, decorative silver ones," he suggested and I stopped as he pulled the lock-pick kit from his jacket and started to work on the door, but noticing my lack of movement, he glanced in my direction, "what? I watch QVC."

"Weird," I whispered and watched him stand, grab the knob and quietly turn it until it clicked. No alarm, no backup chain and best of all, no deadbolt. He pushed the door open, gun suddenly in his hand and checked it out before he gestured to me to start to head in. "They're on their way."

"So, I know how your mind ticks, Porter, what's your theory?"

Did I tell him about the odd way that Cas was acting? Did I bring out the part that said: "well you know Danni looked in it and saw me", or did I just go with, "hey by the way did you know we had a hybrid on our ass?" None of them seemed like a feasible reason to upset the man in front of me and I shrugged.

"I need to see it before I really make that kind of real theory."

He stopped in his tracks, stood straight and turned to me, lowering the gun. "Okay, what's going on with you?"

"I have no idea what you're getting at," I shrugged and moved past him, but his hand curled gently around my upper arm and I smiled, glanced down at it, because, yes, we were back to our regularly scheduled program, before I looked at him. "Dean, let go so I can check out this stupid mirror."

"Yeah, that's exactly what I mean," he groaned and released the hold on me. I sighed and the two of us made our way into towards the shop. "You've been dodging my question all day, that's not like you, Al. There has never been a thing you couldn't tell me, and believe me, you've told me a lot, and I mean intimate details, so why are you holding out on this one?"

"It's just a theory, Dean, no need to get all puffed up and protective." I felt his fingers ghost down my spine just as I finished my sentence, apparently, he did need to get protective. Suddenly, there was a feeling in the room, something like the same one that surrounded Cas just before he disappeared. Yep, something powerful was sitting here and we were being watched. "We should hang back until the other two arrive."

"Look," he whispered close to my ear, and suddenly I felt the heat of his body as I stopped and he stepped up behind me, his hand catching my hips but I caught a glimpse of the colt in his other hand, finger away from the trigger but still lightning fast. I glanced up at where he was looking and saw the item that they had all been so bent over. "Why hang back? What do you got?"

"Just a feeling, and a powerful one," I replied and shivered against him, not that I was cold, but the power was growing and I noticed something else that seemed a little off. My irritation level was starting to climb. His body was too close, his hand was gripping me too tight, the smell of his skin was just too much and I was suddenly standing outside his grasp, looking up at him as his own eyes registered the same apprehension that mine did. "Okay, this isn't good."

"Where the hell are they? I just wanna get as far away from this place as possible," he growled. Shit, this was going to get ugly real quick if we stayed in here any longer. Just then, the door in the back squeaked on the last protest of its hinges, and Sam stepped in, ducking to avoid some strange objects, probably planes but I couldn't make them out in the dark and my light was aimed at the floor. Danni was right behind him and Dean sighed in relief. "Okay, let's do this."

Sam stepped up to me, kissed me quickly on the top of the head and gestured with his hand for me to lead the way, his own gun out and at the ready. Maybe I was the only one that didn't think it was necessary to bring a weapon to an antique shop, but I guess always being prepared was more than a boy scout motto.

They stepped back as I circled it. It was just over five and a half feet, maybe a little taller. One of those hand-carved, dark cherry mirrors with a dark finish that made it look even more ominous locked in the shadows of the store. I kept my eyes off the reflection that yelled at me to look up, but held my grown even as my heart began to thump. My fingers traced the pattern in the wood and I knelt down to take in the way the braces at the bottom were covered in the same ordinate design.

This was definitely not your Grandmother's boudoir mirror, no this was something meant to be front and center, but as I moved around the back, where the three of them stood, I noticed something else that was there. Etched into the woodworks, not haphazardly but with care and a steady hand, were symbols, the ones I had been memorizing since the first time I had seen them in Danni's picture.

I looked at the boys and sighed. "Do me a favor, go on the other side and tilt the mirror towards you." Both Sam and Dean moved, each taking a side to make sure that it didn't come off the pivot bolts that allowed it to move and they glanced at each other before their eyes seemed to flicker towards the shining reflection. "And _don't look_ in the damned thing!"

This seemed to snap them both out of it, which again was strange and unusual because it seemed to be the same thing that happened when I touched Cas, when I told him to let go. The boys looked at me with a bit of confusion before they did as they were told, tipping the mirror's top towards them so I could shine the light on the writing that scrolled down the sides.

"What does it say?" Danni questioned, just as my fingers traced the outline of one of the letters and I glanced up at her with a frown. "Come on, Ali, you've been giving us all the shaft about this thing since the go, you know what it says, so spill."

I sighed and straightened, my eyes moving over all three of them before resting on the mirror again. "It's reverse Enochian."

"That's what Cas said it was," Danni whispered.

And the two-voice chorus chimed at the same time: "Wait, you saw Cas?" from Dean, and "How do the hell do you know that?" from the other. I glanced over at Danni and waited because I knew why I could read what it said but I didn't know that Cas told her.

Nothing, no one was saying a word, so that was when I spoke up, glancing at Sam. "Enochian is the language of the angels," and I got the "duh" roll of the eyes from both men, "of course Cas would know what it looked like, hell he could probably have read it but then again, there is the possibility that he couldn't."

"Why?" Dean questioned, "because it's reversed? We're talking demon language, as in hell-script?"

"Yeah, and it's a spell," I whispered and moved around to the front, backing the body away as the mirror came to stand straight again. "My theory, now that I had seen it, was that this mirror could show you what you really wanted, and you became obsessed enough to actually try and go out and get it," I searched over the design again, trying to ignore the pull to look as I gave each of them a shove to move behind it. "Problem is with a demon spell, if you don't get it, or if it happens to be a person."

"Then no one can have them either," Sam spoke up, sighed and shook his head. "That explains the MO on the victims, they wanted something, but since they couldn't have it, no one else would."

"So, each of these were done because of someone's desires?" Dean questioned, and I looked up at him nodding, but he turned quickly to Danni. "How are you feeling? You looked in the mirror, is that why you freaked out about Ali?"

"Yeah, I mean I guess, but I feel fine," Danni shrugged and set her eyes on me. "So, why do I feel fine?"

"You got what you wanted," I smiled and raised a brow. "You wanted me here, and here I am."

"Oh no," she whispered and her jaw set, a frown crossed her face. "Cas."

"What about Cas, and when the hell did he tell you about the Enochian?" Dean growled, turning towards her.

"We need to get out of here, and figure out how to break the spell before anyone else gets hurt." Sam added and I suddenly felt the weight of the flashlight in my hands. With a deep breath, I swung, just like that night with the vampire, I just swung. Raising my free arm up to block my face, glass shattered all around me and feel quickly to the floor. Sam, Dean and Danni all jumped at the sound, which almost mimicked the rumble of thunder. "What the hell, Ali?"

"Spell broken, at least for anyone else who might have looked into it," I sighed and stepped past the pile of shards that lay on the floor, joining the other on the backside of the object. "For Cas though, not so much."

"Why?" Dean questioned, the concern for his angelic brother dripped in his voice but his face didn't show anything that would suggest anything except anger.

"Because the spell wasn't just to cause havoc, it was for a specific purpose, now can we please get out of here!" There was a need in me, a desperate need to get as far away from there as we could and fast.

"Yeah," Sam whispered and took my hand, "right now would be great." And he tugged me towards the back door, Dean and Danni not far behind.


	40. DH God Killers -7

**Chapter 7**

Sam pulled me towards the Charger, which was parked on the opposite side of the street behind the building about four houses down, while the other two headed for the Impala. I'm guessing that I had been away from him for far too long and Sam just needed me by his side. He had told Dean "see you at the room", but as we both settled down into the seats, he suddenly reached over and placed a hand on my cheek, holding me there as his lips placed a bruising kiss on him, but I wanted it, I needed it, and I wrapped my fingers around his wrists.

I heard the seat slide back as my eyes remained closed, taking in the feeling, the scent of the man kissing me and before I knew it I was nestled comfortably in the fold of his hips, one of his hands tangling in my hair as the other flattened against my back, pulling me closer.

His lips never left mine, in fact they became more consuming, and I found it hard to breath and a little hard to keep up with his need as his fingers slid from my back to the button-down I was wearing. Highly skilled in the art of one handed button removal, I felt the shirt loosen on my skin. I wasn't holding back much either as I gripped at his hair with both hands, holding him as much as he was holding me because I wanted his kiss, longed for it. Eight hours in the car was bad enough, a month and a half and only two little romps at the house was far too little for my tastes.

"Wait," I whispered against his lips, placing my forehead against his as I caught my breath, but he tried to tug me in closer. "This is too wide open, we can't do this here."

"I'm not letting you go," he growled and pushed up to find my lips, making it hard to resist him as I kissed him hard.

Breaking the lip lock one more time, I braced myself against the pull to just take him there. "Then drive, I'm not moving."

I'm not sure why it was so intense, but there was no way that I could release him, no way that I could take my hands off from him. Something inside me told me that if I let him go, bad, bad things would happen and that scared me.

Sam put the seat up, just a little, and I gasped as it pressed me against the hard evidence of this little tryst. I heard the engine turn over as I pressed closer to him, locking my hands behind the headrest as I my body rubbed every part of his that I could touch and I heard him growl, then moan when my lips came down on his bare neck, running across the slope of it until I hit his shoulder.

I don't know where we when or how long it took us to get there but I was ready and willing when the car came to a complete stop and he put it in park. His lips caught mine for the first time since he has started to drive, which he was an expert at as he not only handled the distractions of ongoing traffic, but the fact that I had gotten his zipper down and was man-handling him as he went.

I felt his teeth graze my ear as he breathed into me. "Get out!"

It wasn't a command, but the force behind it only made my body ache for him more as he opened the door and turned his legs towards the open air. Wherever we had landed, it was dark and quiet and there was nothing for miles. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face as I slid from his lap, but he didn't let me get far.

As soon as I was on my feet, I was pressed against the side of the dark ride, his body hovering over mine, still out and at the ready and my hand closed around him once more, sliding up until he was grinding his teeth and his body against the feeling. His mouth came down on mine, claiming and needy. This man was hot as sin and I wanted anything he planned to do to me.

My first thought was the back door would open when he moved towards the back of the car, taking me with him but he never bothered to open it. In fact, we moved right past the bright red tail lights until I he had me leaning against the trunk. His lips left mine then, cascading over my neck as the shirt fell from my shoulders. He left my bra alone, trailing down as it came undone until he reached my jeans.

Quick work of the button and the almost inaudible slip of the zipper over the sounds that were coming from me and I could feel the chill in the air across the heat that he had stripped bare. So we were both half naked and needy, and when he came back up to claim me again, I didn't argue when he turned me, pressing my stomach against the end of the car.

He pulled the shirt down, exposing the back of my shoulders as I felt him press against the heated folds between my thighs. Never had I been so worked up as I was at that moment and when he slipped in, easily filling every part of me with himself, I thought my world was coming undone that very second.

One strong arm wrapped around my waist, pulling him against me as he moved with slow and even strokes, his lips and tongue caressing the back of my neck, the grove of my spine as I used my hands to support myself against the car.

The build-up was quick and intense and almost too fast, but he knew just what to do to make it last. I closed my eyes as the stars began to burst behind my lids and every nerve in my body was sent soaring higher. I was waiting for it, going with the tidal wave of erotic pleasure, waiting for that one movement that would send me over the edge.

His lips came down on the one spot that he had already marked, and his teeth raked against it hard enough to send shocks through me but when they finally latched on, not digging in, not branding, but just solid enough to make me feel every ounce of what possession, that was when it happened. I was done, my body completely unraveled and I had nothing to hold onto. My hand shot up to his hair, gripping it tightly as his pace became a furious race to see which one of us got to the finish line faster, but I knew he wouldn't let me go, he wouldn't leave me behind wanting for anything and as I felt my body shiver, as the muscles clenched around him and I felt him swell, I was gone.

I screamed his name, and thank god there wasn't a soul for miles because it was loud and pleading for release, and once that name left my lips, my head fell forward, barely registering the way the car felt beneath my soaked hair. It was cold, and smooth and felt really… and then he was moaning against me, the lips leaving me for just seconds as he stiffened, buried deep within me as his palm came down on the cold shine of the bar, finger spread wide until he clenched them into a fist.

I could feel him, the pulse inside me as he whispered something against my neck, moving his head to place his forehead against my back, never letting the hold he had on me ease for a moment as he let everything, every ounce of his nature flow into me.

Yeah, oddly enough, I could have stayed there forever. It was an odd position, I know, but to have him molded against my back, his warmth in and around me, that was what made it the most amazing place to be. Sam sighed, his mouth laying little pecks on the tattoos that graced my skin and slowly he backed away.

The emptiness he left me with was almost too much and I longed to have him there again, but I felt his fingers gently tugging up my panties, the course jeans followed, and even as he turned me to face him, tucking himself away, he placed his hands on my hips and hoisted me up to sit on the back of the car.

He didn't look at me, instead focused on the way the buttons slid into the holes of the shirt, paying close attention to each one until he stopped just before the top. That was when his eyes met mine, and I saw the pain in them.

Confused, I reached out, letting my fingers caress the softness of his cheek until I reached the line of stubble that graced his jawline.

"What is it, Sam?" I questioned with caution because he had never looked at me like that after something like this.

His lips parted, as if he needed to catch his breath and I watched his tongue flicker out to wet the dry skin before he leaned forward and pressed his forehead gently against mine.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you," he said softly and instantly my other hand was on his face, but I didn't move him, didn't look him in the eyes because I knew it was what he was feeling and he needed to let that out.

"You didn't," I sighed, "you never have and you never will."

"I just…" he stumbled, "I just needed you so much."

"I don't remember being in any pain," I smiled but how do you reply to him without sounding condescending? I opened my eye and looked at him, seeing how tightly he had his closed and I couldn't help the rush of my heart. "Sam… you looked."

"It was just a glance," he admitted and backed away, straightening as he did so. He had looked into the mirror and now I understood the urgency behind him.

"And," I whispered, wanting to know, "what did you see?"

"What I wanted most," his voice was soft as his hand feathered across my neck and I closed my eyes. The brush of his breath across my ear in the growing chill made me shiver, "you, only you."

"But you have me," I swallowed and grabbed his hips, pulling him closer, closing any distance that there might have been. "You always will."

"I know," it was soft and full of love, not unlike any other time that he had told me that he loved me. It was the only way I saw the softer side of him, the gentle side. "It's only cursed if you don't get what you want, right, and I have everything I need right here, and Dean… I have Dean."

"Wait," I pushed him back just a bit, his words hitting just the right nerve to make me panic. "Sam, we have to go." I watched him step back as I scooted forward. I didn't have time to explain, I just knew that there was something very, very wrong. He stopped me with a gentle hand on my arm as I jumped down and as I looked up at him, I pleaded. "Please, we need to go now."

I never pictured the Charger for a race rocket, but Sam knew handle anything with horse power so it took less time than I would have guessed to get back to the Econo Lodge North from the opposite side of town. Baby was parked in her spot, facing outward and ready to run and the door to the room was slightly ajar when Sam put on the brakes and slammed it into park.

I don't think I even waited that long before jumping out of the room and heading into the room. What I found was less than thrilling as Danni sat at the table, arms crossed and Dean sat on the bed, looking defeated but both looked up at me in anger as I crashed through the door, with Sam behind me, still unsure of my desperate need to get back.

"Okay," I exaggerated as I stopped to catch my breath and raised an eyebrow at Sam, "this is a little anticlimactic."

"What were you hoping to find?" Danni questioned, her tone just a little off, "us in the middle of a good game of naked twister?"

Surprise and weirdness graced my face, mirroring Sam's.

"Ah, eww, no," I said, goosebumps rising on my arm, which told me the electric current in the room was going up, "why would you think that?"

"Why would he keep a phone call from me?" Danni questioned, and my eyes snapped over to Dean.

"I thought you told her." I scolded and watched as he rolled his eyes and looked away. "He didn't tell you?"

"Obviously not, so why didn't you tell me?" She stood from the table and moved to stand in front of me, her arms crossed.

"There wasn't anything to tell." I stepped past her and looked over the room, trying to fish out Sam's handy work. Sigils and spells seemed to be all in order, so I turned back to the woman who had followed me. "We were talking the case, he was checking on our progress and I told him to tell you. Danni, what is going on?"

"You should have told me," she scolded.

"Me?" I cleared my throat. "I should have told you that your boy toy was calling to check on his brother?"

"Why not call his phone then?" Why was she acting so crazy? But my mind was going a mile a minute as I thought of the way we reacted to an argument earlier in the night, when Cas was around.

"I would have picked that up too, since he was driving or getting gas," I answered but my whole head wasn't in the disagreement, in fact it was far from it. The words that did flow through me were the reverse Enochian spell on the back of the mirror. Oh, crap! "Listen, Danni, I'm not trying to blow this off and I swear that we will talk about this later, but now is not the time."

"Why?" I closed my eyes at the question, apparently, now was the time.

"The spell on the back of the mirror is an Enochian ritual to bring together the ones that you want the most, the things you want the most." I whispered and watched as Dean looked at me.

"Yeah, you said that already, so what?" Dean growled, and that's when I noticed his crankiness.

"Wait, did you look in it?" He looked at me as if I had two heads because of my sudden concern but he just gave me a little shake.

"Not stupid, Al!" he grumbled. "So, come on, let's have it, why the rehash?"

"Cas," I answered, and watched his face plummet into anger, and I so wanted to tell him that he could go fly a kite with the snotty ass attitude he had been giving the angel, but I didn't. "Look, you might not like it that he's around, but he's not here covering your ass, he's here for another reason, unfortunately. Yeah, he did a misstep and got himself stuck in front of that bloody mirror, staring into it for God only knows how long."

"Precisely 8.12 seconds," Danni whispered and I turned to look at her, giving her a 'not helping' face before I turned back to Dean.

"8 point…look it doesn't matter, what does is that we may have broken the mirror, but that doesn't mean the spell is off. It's not broken." I let out my breath slowly and took a second to close my eyes. "I'm not sure how all of this works but seriously there is some major mojo flying around this place."

"Mojo?" Dean's lips tightened, "like angel mojo?"

"Like demon mojo, you ass!" I snapped and sat down at the table. Sam found his way to the other side of the bed next to Dean and waited. It was then that I remembered the envelope that Cas had given me but I didn't take it out, I just made a note that it crinkled in my pocket. "Reverse Enochian, remember, hell-script. Your words, Dean."

"Okay, I get it!" I watched him relax, and the tension in the room eased, making me wonder if he actually looked but wouldn't tell me. I glanced over at Danni, who had decided that sitting there with her arms crossed was more comfortable with her feet up on the table, but even the anger in her face lessened. "So, demon magic, what do we do about it?"

"That's the problem, I don't have a clue," I shrugged and reached for the beer on the table. Dean cleared his throat, sat forward and snatched it from me before I could take a swig. Sam laughed, went to the mini and grabbed me a soda, my preferred choice anyway. He tapped Dean on the shoulder with it and we played pass the can until it ended up on the table beside me. "This is what I got so far. Demon spell, works on human, works double on angels. Cas couldn't stop talking though, which is what I found really strange. He would answer anything that we needed to know about Zadimus, or almost everything we needed to start looking into the lore."

"What the hell is a Zadimus?" Sam questioned and Dean glanced back at him before resuming his staring contest with me, which I wasn't actually playing.

"Cas said that he was an angel/demon hybrid and about five centuries old but he has something to do with both Danni and I, both of our bloodlines."

"That doesn't make any sense," Sam whispered. "You traced your line back, there was no mention of a Zadimus, not even any mention in any journal about angels or demons."

"Or apparent prophecies about her and I being the last in our line and blah, blah, blah," I sighed, rolling my eyes. Yeah, hadn't been around this block already like fifteen hundred times. "Look, none of the research we found pointed to anything except that we were from the same starting line-up, the teams split up to different stadiums and somewhere along the course of the game, reunited under one banner sometime around the name Ellis, I think we pegged that about five generations ago, maybe six."

"Huh," was all that Sam said but I could see the wheels clicking in Dean's eyes.

"There's something else," I whispered and I bit down on my lip, glancing over at Danni before I continued because I hadn't told her this part, which was probably the very wrong thing to do but it just had to be kept a little bit of a secret.

"What more could you possibly pile on this?" Dean snapped and I stood up stepped up to him and watched as he just tipped his head back. I wanted to smack him, wanted to outright deck him, but I knew it was something in the room, so I reached out and grabbed a handful of that messy spiked hair on his head and gave it a good yank before I turned around and went back to my soda. "Ow!" he whined. "Baby!"

"Don't call me that," I scowled and watched the grin start to grow on his face, and the air in the room lightened again. "So, as I was saying, about 1954, the Men of Letters Boston Chapter got a little visitor, a demon named Hollister."

"Like the clothing company?" Sam grinned and yes, it was so funny. Actually, I laughed when Cas handed me the file too because, well, how weird is that. I shook my head, trying not to smile as Sam continued to bring those dimples out, and I had to look away. Another romp in the Charger would be in order if he didn't stop. After a moment, he looked up and noticed the eyes on him. "I, ah, I'm sorry, you were saying?"

"Anyway," I continued but winked at Sam, "Hollister was kept down a neat little room just like the one you have in your basement, but while you tend to use it for other things than demons nowadays," this time, I looked at Danni, who blushed, "they used it to interrogate him and what came out was some interesting stuff."

"Like what?"

"The God Killer blades," I whispered and watched as Danni sat forward. She knew about the blades but not about Hollister.

"What?" Sam whispered, "those are only rumored to be myths."

"Wait," Dean spoke up glancing back and forth between us before he stopped at Sam again, "you knew about these?"

"Yeah, the myth goes something like centuries ago, there was word of a prophecy that was beginning to unfold, so a bloodline was created, and along with the knowledge that two, and only two would be able to bring about the end of this event, certain pacts were made. Pacts of protection between those who wished to protect the bloodline for their own lives, to keep them from this awful fate, and pacts to ensure that they would indeed fulfill what they were destined for." Sam rattled off and I was impressed by what he knew.

"The fact that you remember all that is freaky, you know that, right?" Dean teased as he looked over his brother and sighed.

"There's more," I sighed and now those greens eyes rested on me. "In the fires of hell, two blades were forged, using magic that sealed the knives, making them unstoppable, with the ability to kill anything they came in contact with, right down to the blood magic that was folded into steel." I watched Dean put a hand over his eyes and run it down over his face, giving his head a small shake as to say this wasn't good. "Unique in the fact that they were forged in hellfire and blessed with angel grace, the knowledge that only those two would be able to weld them made both sides a little edgy. Deadly to both angel and demon, these blades were feared by all, but to some it signified the end of something greater than anything ever created."

"Wonderful, so, where are they?"

"They don't know," Danni spoke up and looked at him, Dean sat up straight, annoyed that he seemed to be the only one out of the loop.

"They lost two blades with the magical properties to kill anything?" Dean questioned and watched her nod, "well that's just freaking awesome."

"Yeah, isn't it though," I set the drink down I had been holding and shook my head. "So Hollister gave them the whole spiel about the blades and why they came about and la-de-da, but what he also gave them was the knowledge that one of the sides actually had them hidden away in a secret area of the country, this country, until the time that they should be needed."

"And what time is that?"

"Right around the time of the birth of the second blade handler," I whispered and watched Sam's face go blank. "About the same time as the summer solstice."

"I don't even know why I'm bothering to ask this but, please, tell me you know where the blades are supposed to be hidden," Dean let out a breath.

"Winchester, Virginia." I answered quickly and watched him stand.

"I need a drink!" He gruffed and suddenly walked out the door, I heard the keys to the Impala jingle and the trunk open, then close with a thud as he walked back in the room with the bottle of Tennessee Whiskey. I let him soak it in, wanted him to just keep the information for a little bit before I gave him anything else but he turned and looked at Danni. "Cas came to you and told you that the drawing on the back of the mirror was reverse Enochian, right?" She nodded, "and he told you that Ali really should be down here because you looked in said mirror and freaked out because of the curse?" Again, she nodded, "and you never once thought to put that all together with the blade mythology and say to yourself that this was a very, very bad idea?"

"Hey!" I snapped at him and Dean looked over at me, "don't be an asshole!"

"I'm not trying to be a dick."

"Well, apparently, you're not trying hard enough because you're coming off as a major one right now!"

Dean scowled at me and lifted the bottle before continuing. "I'm just trying to figure out why we are just now putting together the parts of how freaking bad this is all going to end. And, I would really love to know what else the two of you aren't telling me."

"Dude, you're fugly," I stated firmly and watched as he gave me the dirtiest look. "Well, you asked."

"And you're full of crap!" He winked, "I think I'm adorable."

"Totally off topic here!" Sam stated, reigning us in from our playful mood. "Dean's right, why would Cas tell you to bring Ali here if he had any clue on the prophecy or the blades?"

"You gonna tell them, or do you want me too?" Danni questioned. This was one rough night for all of us and all I wanted to do was hug her but she would probably punch me so I just let it go. I shrugged and watched both brothers turn to me.

"Why do I always have to be the bad guy?" I sassed at her and she gave me an unamused look. "Look, Cas is in the area, he has been for months. I don't think he realized it any more than we did that what was going down was going to happen now. His focus was on the case and the fact that John is hiding away somewhere in the area not on the fact that some centuries old prophecy is coming about in less than a week."

"Hold up," Sam said sternly, "did you just say that Dad's here, in Winchester?"

"He didn't specifically say that John was in town." I tried to backtrack, but I watched Sam get an attitude. "He said he was in a cabin somewhere in the vicinity of Winchester."

"Can we just make some kind of note about how really horribly ironic this is that not only are we in a place that has our last name, but also our father is here and I'm assuming the biggest fight in the history of heaven and hell is destined to go down in _Winchester_?" Dean piped up and that made me smile because leave it to him to put all the pieces of fate's little giggle-fest together. "Why did we not see this sooner?"

"You weren't looking, I was," I answered and glanced at the three in the room, "it's why I stayed away, why I didn't jump on the bandwagon when I could have. I was trying to avoid this, but I did it the wrong way, I should have opened my mouth instead of keeping it shut."

"Bang up job on that, BTW." Dean teased.

"Seriously, did you just say BTW?"

"I swear you two are a couple of five-year-olds!" Danni snapped. "Look, I'm tired, I'm frustrated. I'm beyond pissed so either pick a bed or pick a room but otherwise, I'm hitting the sack and you guys can shut your pieholes." She got up from the chair and walked over to the empty spot on the bed, kicked Sam off and laid down on her stomach. "Good night!"

Dean let out a breath, glanced between the two of use and waved us out of the room. I couldn't help but notice the complete shift in everything around me. She wasn't mad, she was drained and tired. Dean had stopped fighting too, so what had just happened, and why did I feel like I could run a marathon and not get completely exhausted.

The air that flowed through the slightly opened window was crisp and it helped cool the air and the body that lay tangled in the sheets with me but it did nothing for the racing of my mind. Why hadn't the boys known how to read the reverse Enochian? I know in the show they had only come across it a few times. Hell-script was what Dean called it but yeah, those two, the ones that were so separated from ours now, had Cas around all the time to show them, teach them, and even if Sam was a genius, unless Cas had come up with a way to do it, there was no way these two boys would have known how to read the reverse of their angel language.

Hell, I knew Kevin had his hands on the Angel tablet, I knew he had them on the Demon tablet too but he must have never shown them how to read it, which was why Cas told Danni about it, and why he knew I could read it. Crowley had given me that knowledge so long ago that I could barely remember it, but as soon as I saw those symbols, I knew just what I was looking at, so like I said, my mind was racing.

One of the other problems was, the position wasn't just comfortable, it was protective and if I tried to slip out of it right then, which was not long after another round of mind-blowing sex with a god, I would have woken him up. So, I just lay there, staring into the dark, watching the curtain move with what little light there was from the streetlamp outside.

It took another hour for me to be comfortable moving, sliding out from under his muscled thigh, slipping from those protective arms, leaving that heat, but I didn't go far, just to the table, and closer to the breeze.

I fished the envelope from my pocket and slid my finger across the seam as I sat down, turned so that the little light shined on the old parchment and unfolded the paper. There had to be six sheets, maybe more, but it had me sitting forward at the first line, and took me down a road I didn't know was possible to travel but the further I got into the letter, the harder my heart beat, the faster my breathing got and it was all because of that first line.

June 21, 1975.

Dear Alison, happy birthday precious girl, you don't know me, but my name is John Winchester.

I was headed down a rabbit hole and I didn't even know it.


	41. DH God Killers - 8

**Chapter 8**

I stared at Danni, the sun was just coming up from behind the clouds. Had it really been that long already? The letter I had read had sent my mind into a tailspin, what the hell was I going to do with what John had written, and how would he have even known that back in 75'? He and Mary were just getting married, but it was all there, in black and white. He had known my parents, known the moment I had been born and knew what was destined to come, but who was he to me, and how did I explain all of this to them.

I didn't want to look at Danni, I didn't want her to see the confusion in my eyes, but the anger, the feelings of rage were growing once again and whatever the hell that mirror had done, it was still fully charged and active. I just had to make it through the day, I just had to get to the point where I could find out from Cas where John was and get some real answers.

I had to.

I had barely slept, couldn't keep my eyes closed even wrapped in Sam's arms after that but then again, there was a power flowing through the air that seemed to make everything just a bit more itchy, just a tad more edgy and I could feel it in my bones.

Whatever this was, whatever was coming, it was affecting me differently than the others. Danni and Dean were pissed off, Sam was confused and not so much needy as unsure, like the darkness in him had switched, turned off but the darkness in the other two had clicked on. That bothered me, more than anything, because it made me think about what I was feeling. Was this my darkness, was this the way that my evil feels? It wasn't uncomfortable, it was energizing and invigorating and terrifying and I liked it.

What the actual hell? I liked it?

So, there she was, looking at me, she had just come out of the room to find me standing by the Charger, something Sam really needed to ditch and she was staring at me. The bugs under my skin, the ones that I swear I could feel, started to crawl and my heart thumped in my chest, yes the adrenaline was starting to move again.

"Coffee?" I offered, the half empty cup in my hand, still hot from where I had walked over and gotten it from the main office. It wasn't bad for motel stuff, but it had a bit of a kick. Danni just shook her head and I watched as she prepared for yet another round. If she was so hell bent for a fight, why was I so calm about it. "Spill."

"What?" She snapped, as she leaned on the pole.

"You're going to lecture me about something, so might as well spill, I don't want to be tiptoeing around everyone in that room all day." I said shaking my head.

"You think I came out here to lecture you?" Her lips turned up in a grin as she gave just a small shake. "No, I came out here to check on you."

"I'm fine," I shrugged and offered the cup one more time before tossing it in the trash. "In fact, I've never felt better. So, I'm not so sure what you're worried about."

"Well, as you kindly pointed out last night, we're here, in Virginia and it's almost the Solstice, so you can see how I would be a bit worried about my little sister."

I smiled at this and crossed my arms as I leaned once again on the car. "You mean, how am I doing outside of my hole in the wall research room, how am I doing off the solo hunts, how am I doing, I don't know, dealing with real people?"

"Well, kinda, yeah." And this caught my attention.

"I didn't lock myself away because I was afraid, Danni, I closed up shop because I needed to protect my kids, I needed to get down to the bottom of this and I couldn't do it gallivanting around like the rest of the world with blinders on." I watched as she grinned wider, but this time is was sarcastic.

"You know, you told me once that it was us against the world, sisters no matter what, so what happened?"

"It's still that way, what do you mean what happened?"

"The trip was supposed to be you and me, not you, me, and the Winchesters. Not the four of us against the vampires or the demons or hell, even Crowley. YOU and ME, against the world and then when it was all over, you just left." I stared at her in shock. "You packed your bags in your little rental car and you took off with Sam, granted he came back but that was because demons were raining down on my house."

"I knew it," I sighed, letting it out slowly. "I knew you blamed me for all of this."

"I'm not blaming you, I want to know why you said _screw it_ and just left." The shock on my face grew and I had to remember that this wasn't her, or at least this wasn't entirely her.

"I didn't just leave, Danni, I had kids to go back to, I had shit that I had to get in order and you know what, if you needed me that badly, all you had to do was drop a dime and I would have come down in a heartbeat," I stepped away from the car and dropped my arms to my side. "You had Dean to keep you protected, hell you had Sam, but I would have still been there if you needed me, if you had just said something one of the millions of times that you called."

"I did drop a dime," she whispered and I shook my head, "I dropped a dime so many times that I stopped counting and you know why?"

"Apparently, I don't," I snapped and watched her put her hands on her hips.

"You stopped caring."

"Bullshit!" I pointed my finger at her, stepping up closer. "Everything I did in that house, in that basement, trying to figure out the why and when and how and whatever the screwed-up answer was to all of them, everything I did was to protect you! How the hell did I know you were dropping anything when all I could think about was keeping you safe because that's what I needed to do to keep going, I need to protect you."

"I didn't need your protection, Ali, I needed you!"

"Yet the words "Al, you need to come here" never left your mouth," I growled in reply.

"Or you were too pigheaded and into your magic to see that call right in front of your nose." She retorted

"What the bloody hell are you talking about? There wasn't a call, Dan, there wasn't a message, there wasn't a note, how the hell else did you intend to spell out how much you needed me?"

"I sent you Cas," she choked back, and that shut me right up. I stood straight and looked at her as confused as I felt.

"You? You sent me... Cas?" I almost laughed, I'm pretty sure I really didn't but I almost did. "How exactly did you send me an angel?"

"Who do you think told him to get you? Who do you think constantly sent him your way when you were in a jam, when you needed help with research?" My eyes widened because I had no clue. "Me! You think he spent a lot of time with you, no, he only did that because I sent him there to check on you, to make sure you weren't doing something stupid, like looking into freaking reverse Enochian! Honestly, Ali!"

"I thought Cas was watching John," I whispered, watching her still fuming face. "Why the hell would you send him to me, obviously, he thought you needed to be protected more!"

"Crowley," she whispered and waited on me to respond in anyway, but the name just didn't faze me.

"Yeah, what about him?"

"Crowley was the one that was watching over you, did you know that?" I closed my eyes, rubbing the bridge of my nose. Did I tell her yes that I knew every time one of those black-eyed sons of bitches was outside my door? Did I tell her how many of them I sent rushing back to him with the very spells he had put into my head? I didn't say anything but just stood there. "Yeah, that's what I figured too, so I sent Cas to make sure that you were still in the right headspace, that you didn't give into the shit you were playing with, and Ali, you came pretty damn close."

"You know, you sound a lot like a Winchester I know, and I told him to screw off about what I did in my spare time too," I snapped, referring to a conversation with Dean that we had one night when he was prying too much into what was going on at home. Danni stood straight. "Yes, he called! He called all the time to check on me and I'm not saying it to make you mad or get you jealous or any of that bull crap because you know I don't want him like you do, but Dean called so much I swear he was living in my head, so no, I didn't get your dime, I didn't even pick up on the first ring, because I'm pretty sure that message went right to voicemail." I went to walk past her, not as angry as I sounded, in fact I was really calm, which completely threw me off, and I stopped by her shoulder for just a second before I looked at her profiled. "The next time you need to reach out and touch someone, open your damn mouth and don't send Castiel to deliver it!"

Leaving her there in the light of the rising sun, I turned and walked down the row of doors to the end of the building where we had met Cas the night before. Just as I turned the corner, I stepped three feet further into the emptiness and turned, slumping against the wall. Tears streaked my cheeks but the emotions I felt, or the lack of emotions on the whole subject just had me staring into the distance.

 _You know you really shouldn't stray too far from the pack._ The seductive male voice whispered in my ear, no more like in my head and I looked around confused. This wasn't Cas, it certainly wasn't Crowley, just a smooth sound with a bit of an accent, just a hint of one.

"Get the hell out of my head!" I grumbled, or was it growled, either way, I said it out loud.

 _Whatever makes you think that I'm in your head, maybe it's the other way around, maybe you're in my head, Alison_. His voice was so familiar but I couldn't place it, I thought back to all of the areas I had been, all of the stops I had made and yet I just couldn't pick him out almost like… _I've been here all along?_

"I said get out of my head!"

 _My dear, I really wish I could, but you see, I truly am not there. You found me, you invaded my thoughts, you are in my head. Now, if you would kindly leave._

I felt the push of power, my head slammed back against the wall, and I sucked in the largest breath I could grab, filling my lungs and suddenly I was coughing as if I had been trapped underwater. I scooted back against the wall and looked around. The smallest hint of sulfur filled the air and I got to my feet.

What the hell just happened? What was that, or more to the point, who the hell was that?

Trying to catch my racing heart, I moved back towards the rooms, passing the one that Sam and I shared, I stopped in front of the open door to Danni and Dean's room. All three of them were in there, all three discussing something, low and secretive but when Dean looked up from his favorite seat at the end of the bed and slowly began to rise as I braced myself in the doorway, Sam and Danni both turned their eyes up to look at me.

"Ali?" Sam whispered, and moved just in time to catch me before my legs gave out. Cradling me to him, Sam brought me over to the bed and set me down, Dean moved up beside me, but that was all I saw, because my sights were set on Danni. I swallowed hard, finally catching on to the words that were flowing from Sam's mouth. "What happened? Where have you been?"

"You reek of demon!" Dean pointed out and that got my attention.

"There was someone in my head!" I blurted out and Sam lowered himself beside me. Danni came up to the end of the bed and looked at me with worry. Great, I had just made this all about me, again! "Look, it doesn't matter."

"You just said someone cracked your coconut and now it doesn't matter?" Dean questioned a bit taken back. "How about you just go with the first statement and forget that I didn't just hear you say it didn't matter?"

"I," I didn't even know where to start is what I really wanted to say but there was a lot going on in my head at the time so all I got was, "it was a voice, he told me I shouldn't have strayed far from the pack and that I was in his head, not him in mine."

"Him?" Sam questioned. OH, great, was that all he was getting out of the conversation? The fact that there was another guy inside my skull? "Wait, it wasn't Cas?"

"No, Cas has been pretty radio silent for a few weeks," I sighed and realized why the him had affected him so much, he thought Cas was using me to get to the boys instead of talking right to Sam. Dean glanced over at me, his face hardened.

"You've been talking to Cas too?" Dean snapped.

"Oh my God, Dean! So. Not. The. Point!" I growled. "There is a voice in my head, and it's not Cas," I snapped and looked over at Danni, "and it's not Crowley either, so who the hell is hashing around in my brain?"

"It's Zadimus," Cas' voice boomed over the rest of the room and Dean spun, Sam stood straight and I just put my head back against the wall.

"Cas?" Dean whispered in shock, his usual reaction but I scooted forward on the bed putting myself between the two men, who dwarfed me in the middle. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Hello, Dean," he said with his normal attitude and I watched as this scene played out for the millionth time, but that was when I saw the change in the angel. The way his eyes did the same thing as before, went a little blank.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

"Cas, you shouldn't be here," I groaned as the room began to spin. I could feel that dark energy building up, the same one that was in the store with us, the same one that was outside last night when we first saw Cas.

"No," Dean snapped, "I think he should be here. I think he has some explaining to do."

"Dean," I whispered and tried to get Danni's attention but her eyes were locked on the angel too, as if she were starting to get angry at him and then I remembered what he said. "Dean, he looked in the mirror."

"So what?" Dean snapped, and I could almost see his lip turn up in a scowl. "Does that mean he's not man enough to explain where the hell he's been the last few years? Does it take his powers away and make him some sort of baby in a meat suit?"

God, if that wasn't an awful twist on an episode. My vision spun out of control as I essentially absorbed what they were putting out and I watched as Castiel's face changed. I watched the anger grow in the angel's eyes and that seemed to hit me like a wave.

"Cas, please, you need to leave." I begged and swayed, suddenly feeling Sam's hands on my waist as he moved me out of the way of the staring contest the two of them were doing.

"All I have ever done, all the wrong you think I've caused you, I did it to protect you!" Cas snapped and I watched him take a step forward. "I have lived for years knowing that I have hurt you in every way possible, that I have lost your trust, Dean, but that doesn't give you the right to choose whether I stay or go." The space closed and the room got darker. Why couldn't anyone else see what was going on? Sam seem unaffected by it, but since he had what he really wanted, maybe it didn't work anymore. Danni was still entangled with it, which made me think that I wasn't the only thing she saw in the mirror. "Ali and Danni are my friends, they are mine to protect, and I won't leave them just because you want to continue to hold a grudge that should have ended years ago."

"You let Charlie die, Cas!"

"I tried to save her!" the angel yelled back and the room shook. "I tried to save all of you, but I failed. I know that now and you are a constant reminder of that failure."

"Why? Because I won't let you off the hook?"

"Because all I want is you and Sam and I know I can't have that." Cas growled. What he wanted the most, how the hell was I going to stop him if Dean didn't realize what was going on. "I have stayed away, I have watched from a distance and I have been there when I could. I've watched over your father, trying to make sure that he didn't do anything that would cause you to have to kill him, so that it wouldn't break your heart, Dean, but I could never tell you because you wouldn't have listened, because you blame me for something I tried to stop."

"Tried and failed," Dean snapped.

"Dean," Sam tried to interrupt, but it seemed his voice was lost in the energy that flowed in the room.

"No," Cas whispered, "the only thing I failed at was believing that we were truly family, that I could have what I wanted without paying the cost. I know that now, I know that we will never be what we once were."

"Good, I'm glad you're seeing the bigger picture finally," Dean scowled and that was when it happened. Cas broke. He realized that he had lost Dean, that the green-eyed man wouldn't be swayed. Or at least not in the amount of time that Cas had, and the angel swung.

It wasn't like it caught Dean off guard, not at all in fact. I think he actually anticipated Cas throwing a punch because he started swinging right back. The fight moved faster than I could keep up with. Dean swung and Cas blocked, Cas swung and Dean blocked, but they got their punches in. My heart raced as they went outside, tossed each other to the ground and kicked up the dirt on the hard gravel surface.

Blood coated each man's face, as Cas turned, getting the upper hand as Dean's head knocked back against the rock, dazing him for just enough time for Cas to get in several punches that kept the wind knocked out of the older Winchester. Sam raced towards them, I was right behind on shaky legs and Danni moved towards Dean.

You could see the anger on the angel's face, the blue-white glow in his eyes as he raised his hand and drew out the angel blade that manifested from his grace. Sam Pulled Cas back, his arms looped under the smaller man's, locking fingers behind his head as Cas used every ounce of his strength to try and bring the blade down on Dean.

My breath caught as the feeling grew heavy in my chest but there was something I needed to do, something that I could make happen, like I had done before. I mean it was a far-fetched possibility but there was nothing else to try except that. I moved from where Sam had left me, leaning against the car and it was almost as if I were stepping through a barrier, like wading through jello, something that didn't give easily, but time had also slowed.

Sam still wrestled with Cas, Danni still held a bleeding Dean on her lap as he breathed through the pain of broken ribs and what looked like a broken nose, but as I reached him, as I reached out to touch Cas, time caught up with itself and I fumbled forward on unsteady legs.

My hands caught his shirt, not the jacket he was wearing but his bloodied white shirt and I reached up behind him, which was easy enough with the hold Sam had him in and grabbed a handful of that black hair. Once in my grip, I yanked his head down so that he had no choice but to look me in the eyes, his focus taken off Dean.

"Cas, you need to stop!" I growled and watched his lips pull back in almost a hiss. My other hand came up, knowing that blade could have easily turned on me and I grabbed ahold of his chin, holding his face still as I stared deep into that sea of blue. "Stop, Cas! Fight it!" Again, he struggled in Sam's arms and snarled at me, but something inside of me took over the more I kept my hands on him and I took a deep breath. In Latin, because that was how it came out, I spoke an Enochian prayer, something that I just seemed to pull out of the back of my mind. Angel, take the devil from thine eyes. "Angelus diabolus tolle tibi!"

Cas took a deep breath, if angels really breathed, but his eyes began to glow a bright blue, making me close mine as I held his head still, but it was the heat that seared down through my arms, through every part of me that touched him, that had me screaming in pain before the light finally faded and I released him _._

Struggling to take as many breaths as I could while I stood with my hands on my knees, Cas looked around confused, dropping the blade on the ground beside me and he quickly grabbed my shoulders. Sam released him as Cas helped me straighten up, his warm palm against my face and his expression full of pain.

"I'm alright," I whispered and patted Cas on the chest, "just do something about him."

Cas looked past me at Dean, who still struggled to breath and quickly he let me go, but Sam was right behind him, wrapping his strong arms around me to keep me steady. I watched, grasping hold of Sam's shirt while Cas knelt down beside Dean, the green-eyed man looking up at him with his own confusion, and Cas reached out, pressing two fingers against his forehead.

The light wasn't as bright but I still had to look away while the angel healed him, and when Cas backed up, there wasn't a scratch on Dean. With a sigh, Cas stood, watching his friend and brother move freely and the angel turned to me.

"Thank you," he said softly, "but I fear that from saving me, you've doomed yourself."

I scoffed at him, and rolled my eyes. "No problem, Cas, anything for a friend."

"This isn't a laughing matter, Ali, I don't understand why it amuses you." Cas grumbled and I just gave him a crooked grin. "What you took into yourself, what you took from me, that was Zadimus, that was his power, and I'm sorry, but I'm afraid for you."

"It's okay, Angel-face," I whispered and found it hard to keep my eyes open as I leaned more on Sam, "you just keep taking care of Dad and make sure he stays put, let me worry about Zadimus."

"I'm afraid I can't do that." He sighed and looked at the brothers. "I believe that Zadimus and the demon possession John are somehow connected. It would be best if I didn't leave you again."

"For my protection?" I smiled.

"No," he said softly and brushed my cheek with the back of his hand, "for theirs."


	42. DH God Killers - 9

**Chapter 9**

For theirs? Really?

"What the hell do you think is going to happen?" I questioned, pushing away from Sam as Dean made it to his feet, leaning on Danni. "I mean, honestly Cas, what am I going to do?"

"You took pure evil into yourself, a mix of angel and demon. The ramification of that are… well, we're not positive what they are." Cas shook his head, and then reached out, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Ali, but I believe you might be more of a danger to them than to yourself. John is safe, they may not be."

I rolled my eyes at him, shook off his hand and stepped back, leaving the four of them standing there watching me as I kept going backwards. I raised both my hands and then let them drop by my side.

"Fine, you do what you got to do, I'm going to go get breakfast," I growled. "While I'm gone, Sam, you see what you can find on this Zadimus character," and I watched the confusion in my lover's eyes as I barked orders but then my gazed switched to Dean and Cas and pointed at them, "and you two, man up, suck it up, make up, and get the hell over it!" One last glance before I turned around and that was to Danni, "I love you and I never meant to hurt you, but right now, I need coffee."

I turned my back to them and headed out to the road, where just down the street was a small diner that I knew had some sort of pancakes, hotcakes or flapjacks whatever they tended to call them here, not that it mattered because that's what I wanted.

As I walked away, the cellphone I had stuffed into my back pocket began to vibrate. Annoyance at one more individual trying to take up my precious time rolled over me, but since I found that to be the oddest sensation I have ever felt, I pressed it down and looked at the screen. Huh, just the person I needed.

Pressing it to my ear, I started the conversation of with a cheerful: "Hey, Carol, what do you got for me?"

"Good morning to you too," she laughed over the line and I couldn't help but smile. I never had a conventional way of answering the phone but it never ceased to surprise her when I didn't just say hello. "So, I got the pictures you sent me, and it took me a bit but I did finally figure out what they were."

"Reverse Enochian, right?" I smiled.

"Exactly, how did you know?"

"That part of the case is solved," I sighed and listened to the relief in her breath, "and now we have an even bigger problem."

"I'm guessing the blades are coming into play since my GPS has you in Virginia, with Danni." She stated like the smartass she was.

"Remind me to break this phone when I'm done with you because you tracking me, it's, well, it's kind of creepy." I stated sarcastically and she laughed again. Okay, she definitely had her coffee for the morning. "What do you got on the blades?"

"Nothing more than we've already found, the lore on them seems to be pretty straight forward. Only the last two in the pure bloodline can weld them, and they pretty much kill anything that moves. The one thing I did pick up is that there is a reason for the two blades."

"Isn't the reason so that the two of us can have them?"

"Not necessarily, it's more for balance."

"Balance?" I questioned as I walked into the small greasy spoon and found a place at the end of the counter, slid onto the stool and smiled at the waitress that brought me a coffee. "Like light and dark?"

"Precisely that."

"Okay, so tell me what I'm looking at exactly?" I tried to keep my voice down but as I looked down to pour the creamer into my coffee, I watched my vision vibrate, like everything around me shook and I blinked a couple times, to get it to pass.

"Well, it's almost a God and Amara kind of thing, you can't have one without the other." She mentioned going back to season eleven on the show. "If one fails the other will destroy everything, but if they work together than they can defeat the enemy."

"Great, two guesses on who is who," I sighed and took a sip of the hot liquid, decided that there wasn't enough sugar in my cup and reached two seats over for some more packets, but that was when I noticed the man at the end of the table. I stopped mid-stretch and watched him for a moment. There was something wrong with his face, on top of the fully black eyes, which pegged him instantly for a demo **(n)** , it was gray and distorted like I was looking into a picture that had a double exposure. "Carol," I whispered, "does it say anything about the powers that the two have?"

"Not specifically, why, has something come up?" Carol's voice was full of concern and I sat back in the chair, took my cup and raised it to my lips as I looked around the room once more. There were more of them, like half a dozen more, and they were all watching me. I could feel the sudden rage filling in me as I placed the cup down slowly, dug a few bills from my pocket, smiled at the waitress and headed out the door.

"Yeah, demons." I whispered in reply as the door to the small place closed after me.

"Well, you're armed right?"

"It's, ah, kind of been a bad night," I answered and hurried my ass up across the parking lot, "I wasn't really thinking that demons would be on my tail so early in the morning."

"I'm texting Danni," she snapped.

"No, no," I whispered in a surprisingly calm voice, and that was it, I realized it was because I _was_ calm. The feeling of overwhelming rage had all but disappeared. "I'm almost to the motel, just give me a second." I glanced back, and sighed, I was completely alone. "Okay, no need to panic, they didn't follow."

"Why were they there in the first place?"

"Really?" I smiled, "the biggest biblical battle in the history of war is supposed to go down here and apparently, it's attracting them like flies."

"Okay, I'm going to get back to research, if you should need anything, message me." Carol sighed.

"I need to know what we stepped in here, and as fast as you can. I might even bring Jones into it, he gave me some papers when we left Massachusetts that I haven't been able to completely go through, and with my luck, that could be a bad thing."

I stopped just before the end of the Charger and noticed that both the bedroom doors were closed, and there was no angel in sight. Bells and whistles started going off in my head as I looked around but as I stepped up to my room, I watched my vision blur again, just for a second before I put my hand on the knob.

"Talk to you soon," Carol whispered and I suddenly felt like I had missed part of the conversation.

"Yeah, talk soon." I replied and took the phone away, disconnecting the call with a push of the screen.

I opened the door quietly, looking into the dark room and, hearing nothing but Sam's breathing, stepped in and closed it softly behind me. I set the phone down, removed my shirt, exposing the tank I was wearing and turned to see Sam sitting on the edge of the bed, the tri-folded parchment in his hands. He looked up at me with confusion and then down at the paper as he gave it a little wave.

"I can ex…" I started but closed my eyes and smiled before looking at his waiting expression, "you know what, I really can't because I have no idea what that is, I mean I know it's a letter and I know it's from John but other than that, I got nothing."

"Ali, this letter is addressed to you, what do you mean you got nothing?" He questioned. Oh, good, a serious conversation with Sam, finally… not. I grabbed one of the small, uncomfortable chairs from the table and slid it closer to the bed, turning it so I could straddle the seat and use the back as an arm rest, but it was also a barrier between him and I because I couldn't seem to control any emotions at the moment. "Just tell me where you got it?"

"Cas," I whispered and watched him take a deep breath in, bite down on his lip and nod, but I could see that hardness fill his face, like he was putting his walls up to block any pain.

"Cas gave it to you," he reiterated, a sarcastic smile gracing his lips. "And how the hell would Cas know where to find a letter from my father, addressed to you?"

I think the fact that he was repeating the importance of it seemed to seal it in his mind that, yes, John and I were connected somehow but that wasn't all that the letter said. I cleared my throat and then sat up straight.

"Honestly, Sam, he handed it to me yesterday before we went to the shop and I read it this morning while you were sleeping. I had no idea about what was on there, and absolutely no clue he even knew who I was, but there is something about it that kind of gets me." Sam waited quietly, which seemed to make me more nervous. "What if he knew my parents, I mean obviously, he had to know someone in my family to write that, but why wouldn't he have done more than pull them from the car if he did."

"Maybe pulling them from the car was the most he _could_ do, you had a hell hound close by," Sam whispered and I folded my arms on the backrest, placing my chin down on them. "Dad traveled a lot when he was a kid, with his mom, I think, so it's possible that he met your parents along the line, maybe he even knew them."

"I don't know, Sam, I mean you read it, right?" I sighed and felt his fingers brush over my skin pushing my hair back from my eyes. I reached out and took the letter from him, held it in my hand and looked up into his eyes. "Who starts a letter like this: happy birthday precious girl, you don't know me, but my name is John Winchester."

"I guess Dad does." Sam smiled, an actual smile at the mention of John. It was weird to see when I knew all of the stuff that they had been through with him, all of the rough years. "I did read it, but who's to say that it wasn't code for something."

"Yeah," I cleared my throat and brought the letter closer. "You don't know me, you probably never will but I wanted to say that I'm sorry for not being there when you were born, for not being able to protect you. Your parents did so much for me, they saved my life so many times without even knowing they did it and I wish I could know you, but it's impossible," I read aloud. "By the time you get this, thing will be set in motion that won't be stopped. You are a very special little girl, you don't deserve what's coming."

"Kind of ominous," Sam shrugged.

"Kinda, yeah," I took a deep breath and watched him grab the chair, pulling it closer so that I could be within reach as he caressed any bare skin while I read. "Enclosed are pages that I pulled from a box that I found in my father's possessions, they don't really tell me much, I mean he disappeared when I was eight, there wasn't any way I could know the man. I believe, however that these are meant for you, this story, these documents, Alison, they're you. Protect them, learn them and keep them safe. I have to get back to Mary. I wish I could have met you. Know that you will always be in my thoughts and I pray that angels look over you every day. John Winchester."

"So, where are the papers?" Sam questioned and this made me look up at him.

"What do you mean, they were right there with the letter on the table." I stated confused. I turned towards my bag, towards the spot where I had left them and found it empty.

"No, the only thing there was the letter, that's why I picked it up, I thought you had written something last night." I stood from the chair, moved away from Sam and started to search around the room. The papers were gone. "What was on them?"

"Ah," I stopped, tried to gather my thoughts and shook my head. "An old myth about the blades, some details about the two who are supposed to handle them, and the same bullshit about the history that you rattled off earlier."

"So why were they so important?" I shrugged at him and sat down on the bed.

"I hadn't had time to figure it all out, I was too animated, I couldn't sit still and by the time I figured out that I needed to do something, crap with Danni began." I sighed and laid back on the bed, putting my hands above my head as I closed my eyes. I hadn't realized how drained I was until I had a hard time opening them again.

It was Sam's soft kiss on my bare stomach that made my eyes flutter as I moaned at the feeling of it, the warmth against the cold and I could feel his fingers tracing the skin on my right side. I tried to move my arms, but they were heavy with exhaustion, and even words failed me as his kisses trailed over my navel and down to the waist of my jeans.

The weight shifted on the bed, but his hand remained where it was, and I felt the warmth of his breath against my ear.

"Don't worry, baby," and as much as I hated that name, I loved the way it sounded on his lips, "I'm not trying to start anything, I'm trying to get you to relax." I thought I told him that I was too tired to relax and yeah if he wasn't looking to start anything he should stop, but he just gave me a chuckle and I assume my words came out more like mumbles. "Yeah, you're tired."

His hand scooped under me from my waist and the other slipped beneath my shoulders, moving me up on the bed so that my head rested on the pillows, but when he went to move away, I had just enough strength to grab his arm.

"No," I whispered while inside I pleaded, because exhausted or not, I was actually scared.

"I'm just getting my phone, Ali," his words brushing my lips, "I'll be right back, gonna text Dean and let him know we're sleeping."

"Mmm," was all I managed to get out before the bed moved again and strong arms wrapped around me.

For the first time in as long as I could remember, I didn't dream, in fact I don't remember anything but darkness and while some might see that as a blessing, I found it to be unsettling. From someone who battled demons every night behind closed eyes to total blackness, I knew something was wrong, so when I suddenly found myself with my eyes wide open looking at the sun that streaked through the dirty window, my body shook from the force of it.

I had woken up with that feeling before, a strange vibration that coursed through me, one that even made my vision shake and I chalked it up to being pulled out of a good bout of REM sleep too fast, but this time, the feeling of danger accompanied it.

My hand reached under the mattress, to the handle of the spectrum blade, the same place I tucked it every time I stayed in a room. I felt the body beside me shift, Sam was still sound asleep, his breathing still even and light so I knew that whatever I was feeling wasn't him.

The blade slipped silently from its sheath and I waited, letting my body settle, letting the way that it felt subside before another feeling took over. That thickness in the air, the one that I felt at the shop, outside when I was trying to get to Cas, even before that when I walked in on Dean and Danni arguing, that feeling of not being able to breath because the room had become some sort of spacewalk washed over my body.

I knew just where Sam's body was, he was laying with his back to me, not more than three inches away at any point along the parallel of our heads to our tailbones, but his legs were bent and curled up towards his chest, mine were stretched and I could feel a chill on my toes. That was when the heaviness seemed to settle on me and I made a move, I flipped over, bringing the spectrum up from under the mattress with my right hand and stopped it dead, pressing it against the flesh of whatever the hell was hovering over me.

"Funny, you don't look like a hybrid," I whispered, as the man that lingered above me smiled. He was young, probably Sam's age, shorter than Dean, thinner than Cas, but his eyes were a deep brown, almost black. He had an angelic baby face, and a wide grin that would have had any woman fooled into thinking he was just that, an angel, but I could see the demon just outside those human features.

"Exactly what are you doing in my bed?" He questioned, and there was that voice again, the one that had invaded my mind beside the motel. Without removing the blade, I chanced a glance around the room and noticed that the body that lay next to me now, not three inches from mine, was a busty brunette who was completely naked. My eyes widened as I quickly took in the man who hovered, and my gaze ventured down the smooth muscle of a naked chest, all the way until it met the dark patch of curls and the curve of his hips bones. Christ! He was naked! "It seems you caught me sampling the local wildlife. Care for a spin?"

"What the actual hell!" I snapped and pushed up with the blade. "Are you in my head?"

"No, you're in my room."

"How did I get here?" I never moved, not a muscle as I felt him pressing down on me from just about my waist. This was not good, not good at all.

"I'm not exactly sure, but now that you are," he winked and that was it, I pushed up with the knife, and used my free hand to give him a shove against his breast bone. He laughed as he sat up, letting me see ALL of him as I scooted back on the bed, the woman beside us never stirred. "I've never met anyone quite like you, Alison, you're a mystery to me."

"I'd like to stay that way, if you don't mind." I snapped, still holding the blade defensively. "Why can I hear you in my head?"

"This is all new to me as well," he shrugged and wrapped the blanket around his waist as he sat down on the bed, getting more comfortable on his legs. Did I mention his voice? It had a soft accent to it, almost British but not, and I tried to place it, but I couldn't. "In five hundred years, I've never met another like you?"

"Why because I can wield a blade?" I was totally confused about why I was even sitting there having that conversation and not trying to figure out where I was.

"No," he said as he suddenly closed the distance between us, placing his hands on either side of my head as he pressed me against the headboard, his face mere inches from mine, "because I've never felt such power from someone who refuses to use it."

"I know my role in this biblical war, Zadimus, and there is no way in hell I'm going to kick it into gear by actually giving into the darkness." I hissed through clenched teeth.

"Oh, Beautiful, you've been giving in since the day you were born," he grinned, and I watched his right hand move towards the nightstand. He moved swiftly, pressing the tri-folded parchment against my chest. The blade sliced his skin as he pressed against me, and I watched the blood start to form along it's line. "Trust me, you'll give in, and when you do," he stared down into my eyes with a lust that made me shiver, "you won't need your little dark hunter to keep you company."

"Go to hell!" I snapped and watched as he winked. He backed away just as quickly as he came forward, but with his movements, the lights went out and the darkness took over again.

 _Call me Zane, all of my friends do._ His voice invaded my thoughts as I once again fought the feeling of being trapped underwater.

When I was able to open my eyes, when the breath came back to me full force, there was only one name on my lips and I turned over onto my back on the hard mattress of the motel.

"Sam!" I whispered but felt light screaming. He was instantly awake and aware, resting on one elbow while the other arm was straight, holding his weight as he leaned over my side, his blue-green eyes full of worry. I reached up to him, noticing that the spectrum was not in my hand, and put one hand on his cheek while my other went straight into his soft hair.

"What happened?" His words were like breaths, just whispers as he leaned down, closing the distance as I dragged him down, the tears running from my eyes as I tried to erase the memories of the monster in my head. His eyes went hard, dark and protective as I heard his fingers curl into a grip on the sheets and he hissed out: "I can smell him."

"Make me forget," I pleaded, and I wasn't above begging at that moment. My skin crawled with the sensations of the demon, and I shivered as Sam's fingers gently blushed through my hair. "I don't want to remember."

"Ali," and my name was almost as soft and pleading as his eyes.

Could he not do it? Could he not touch me because that monster had somehow left his prints?

But the fear quickly faded when Sam's claiming mouth captured mine with force. I wanted that bruising feeling, I wanted to give into everything he might give me and no, I didn't want him to be gentle about it. I had a need, one that very much needed to be met and he was the only one that could do it. Sam was the only one that could erase the fear and banish the rage that I felt filling me.

I leaned up to his kiss as he sat up more, reaching for the bottom of the tank I wore, my hand tugging at his hair as he finally broke away enough to get the restrictive material away from my body. I could feel the heat from his legs against mine, the fact that at the moment the only thing that separated us from full contact was the cotton fabric of our underclothes, something both of us had managed to strip down to somewhere during the restless sleep.

With no concept of time, we explored each other, with fingers and lips, gentle brushes and harsh tugs, until neither of us could take the separation any longer. The first thrust was full of urgency, the next of quiet need, and as he wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling me towards him, I knew there was nothing, no angel or demon that was going to tear him away. I knew, as he loved me, filled me, completed everything with just his soul, that all I would ever need was him.

In the end, he was everything that I wanted, and the rough way we moved was just what I needed. I didn't want tender, I didn't need gentleness. I begged for harder, faster, and he gave it without holding back and when that final crest was broken, when I was tumbling over into the blackness and my body wanted nothing more than to feel the waves of pleasure, he gave me that too.

Sated and exhausted, sweat soaked and panting, Sam's body rested against mine, just off to the side enough that I could still fill my lungs with air, but I hugged him tightly to me, pressing my cheek against his hair as he buried his face in my neck. Finally, he released the mattress, his hands cramped from digging into it instead of me, still afraid of hurting me in some way that I might not find absolutely amazing, and those large fingers found their way to the spot just above my heart.

His hand rested there, feeling the beat beneath it, and I took one last deep breath, before I once again closed my eyes, letting the stillness of the room and the weight of the man beside and on me, anchor me in this reality.

Outside, I could hear the sound of rain hitting the cars, tapping off the windows as the wind blew. I could hear the crackle of the thunder in the distance, see the flash of lightning even behind closed eyes and I let out a shuddered breath.

Was this a sign, this rainstorm out of nowhere or had it been brewing in the hours before while we slept? Was this the anger of a hybrid or the warning from the demon that possessed John Winchesters? These thoughts fought their way past the fog that filled my mind and I tried to push them aside. Tried and failed once more. Only holding Sam tighter blocked out the visions and the questions, only then did I realized just how screwed I really was


	43. DH God Killers -10

**Chapter 10**

I reached up and wiped my hand across the mirror, sweeping the condensation aside so that I could see myself, and then wished to God I hadn't. I looked as dark as I felt, my blue eyes usually bright were more a navy color and the bags under my eyes, though not unusual, were just a bit deeper. Sleep was less than helpful, but at least I had gotten some.

After brushing my teeth, running a comb through my hair, which was quickly put up in a ponytail, I wrapped the towel around me and stepped out of the steamy room only to come face to face with Sam, who turned towards me as he stood by my things, his arms crossed, leaning on the dresser. He himself was only in jeans, not bothering to replace the shirt that he had lost somewhere in the night, but I could see the faint scar from the first time we met, white against his sun-kissed skin and his eyes narrowed in frustration.

I glanced past him, to Danni who sat at the table, Dean who had taken his spot at the edge of our unmade bed, leaning forward on his elbows and Cas, who was by the divider that supplied some privacy to the room. Shaking my head, I grabbed the clothing and started to get dressed right there in the middle of the room.

"Is it breakfast and did you bring me coffee, because if you're going to invade a room, you should at least bring some sort of beverage?" I questioned as I shimmied the skinny jeans up under the towel and then pulled the shirt over the top of it before I removed it slowly, watching Sam's eyes as I did so.

Skillfully dressed without ever being naked in front of the four, he seemed even more impressed when I was able to get my bra on and snapped in the back without help. I never got a verbal reply, but when I moved my eyes back to the others, Dean stood, moved towards the table and grabbed a coffee cup from behind Danni.

Stepping up to me, I noticed the way he scanned over my face and with a quick, sly half-smile, he glanced down at the rest of me. Yep, looking for battle wounds, but seeming satisfied, he handed me the cup.

"French Vanilla, three and three," he whispered and I felt his fingers purposely catch mine as I reached out and took the cup. It was just a touch, a way to connect but as he stepped back, it felt strange to see him walk away.

"Thank you," I teased and brought it to my lips. The hot liquid burned against me and I smiled. "I can't believe you remembered."

"You try forgetting someone's coffee order when they're barking things at you about a craft aisle, it all kind of gets stuck there." He stated rolling his eyes. Yeah, and Sammy telling you it was "coffee dumbass" had nothing to do with it, but I didn't say that out loud. I moved to over to Sam, snaked my way into those crossed arms, and rested my back against his stomach as he wrapped them around my waist, holding me protectively. I felt his kiss against my head, but I could feel the rigidness of his muscles, like he was prepared to defend in an instant. "So, what brings you all here today, besides, you know… some hybrid?"

"Cas, ah," Dean started and looked up at the angel standing a bit closer than I thought was possible with the way they had tried to take each other out earlier, but Cas crossed his arms and looked down at Dean without malice, before Dean turned back to me, "Cas said he had something important to tell us and didn't want repeat it so," he opened his hands as if to say "ta-da", "here we sit."

Danni hadn't said a word and it made me wonder if she knew just want was going on, but she only met my gaze for a moment before she fixed them on Dean and even then, it was fleeting before she found a spot on the floor that interested her. Yeah, this wasn't going to be good, because if she knew, that meant I knew something about what he was going to say.

It must have been a forgotten thought, something just lost in the mix of "Zane" releasing me from his hold and Sam's need touch, but I could see the tri-fold of papers on the floor beside the bed and remembered that the hybrid had pressed them against me before sending me back. I took a deep breath, knowing Sam could feel me shake because his hand came up from my waist to lock down on the opposite shoulder, holding me tighter.

Shaking away the memories, I looked up at Cas and exhaled. "What are we talking about here? Like "cosmic consequences" important or "my baby sister's a vampire" important?"

"I don't understand how either of those are remotely related to the issue at hand," the angel's gravelly voice filled the room and I smiled. He was right, neither had anything to do with the other but it was great to get a reaction out of him. "I wanted to discuss John with you."

This time it was Sam that shook and I pressed my weight back to steady him. Knowing part of what Dean had gone through, most of what Sam had with their father, I knew it was a touchy subject, and I knew exactly what Castiel was about to lay down in front of them. It could go off without a hitch if he explained it right, but if he didn't, it could go very, very bad.

"Dad?" Dean questioned and I watched as he shook his head, "all this time, and finally, you're going to spill the beans on where the hell he is and why you've been following him?"

"Actually, the topic has more to do with your mother than anything," Cas replied and I heard Danni groan as Sam tensed up again behind me. So, we're going with the very, very bad possibility over the rest of it. "You need to know about November 2nd, 1983."

"We know about it, Cas, I don't think we need to rehash it," Dean stated and stood from the bed, walking past me and his brother, separating himself from the angel as he began to pace between the bathroom door and the edge of the dresser. "Mom died, Yellow-eyes did it, Sammy got hurt, end of story."

"I'm afraid not," Cas was trying to be patient, to wait until the right time but his blue eyes came to rest on mine and I just gave him a shrug, this was his game and the ball was in his court, not in mine. "The demon wasn't there for Sam."

"What?" Sam's deep, angry tone vibrated through him but his hold never eased and at the same time, Dean stopped pacing and turned to Cas.

"Come again?" the older one snapped out.

"What happened the night that Mary died, it wasn't the way that John told you," Cas spoke up and I watched Dean's eyes grow wide with disbelief. He instantly crossed his arms over his chest and widened his stance, a defensive move on his part, as if closing himself off would protect him from the words. Sam shifted behind me and I wondered if I should step away, to let him go, but when the tips of his fingers kneaded against my hips, I knew that I was the one anchoring him down. "John was a hunter long before you were born."

"That's not possible," Sam growled, and I watched Cas look up in his direction.

"Your father was one of the legacies to the Men of Letters, no matter how much he denied it or didn't mention it to you, he knew about the supernatural long before he met Mary. In fact, that was the reason that Samuel was so adamant that the two of them not date. John was hunting at the same time as Mary was, they just never told each other."

"Dad, our Dad, who dragged us through hell and back, was a hunter?" Dean tried to wrap his head around it while Sam stayed quiet and took it all in.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," Cas sighed. He almost sounded apologetic about it, but there was nothing he could have done, and no reason for him to be sorry, but he reacted like a human would do and that gave Dean some relief.

"Okay, so say Dad was hunting, what does that have to do with Sam and Azazel?" Maybe this wouldn't be very bad, maybe Dean will just accept and that will be the end of it, and yeah, maybe, just maybe I'd been sniffing brake cleaner, because Dean never stayed calm in these situations.

"Azazel wasn't there for Sam that night," Cas blurted out. Way to be subtle, angel! That was the moment that I knew Sam's restraint had broken as his hand slide down from my shoulder, but Cas continued, his eyes locked on the younger Winchester. "John told you that he had gone into the nursery, that Mary was on the ceiling, that the fire started around her but that wasn't the case. It started in the nursery and Mary did die, but it began because John put a blade through Azazel's heart, he was trying to stop him from going through with the deal they had made ten years before."

"Wait, that's not right, Mom made the deal… to save Dad's life," Dean whispered, confused. "You're telling us Dad went out and made a deal too?"

"Essentially, yes, but it wasn't for what you think," Cas moved away from the wall, his hands came down into the pockets of his dress pants and he watched the boys as he took over the act of Dean pacing. "When Mary made the deal with Azazel to save John, the stipulations were that she stayed in bed, that she not investigate what was going on in the house, she just simply let him in, but somehow John found out about it and changed the deal. Azazel was coming for Sam, to create the army of chosen ones that would open the devil's gate, but he was also planning to use Sam for something else."

"A vessel?" I whispered and Sam's hand gripped tighter, "John took Sam's place as the vessel for the demon."

"That, for the most part is correct," Cas sighed, "but it was a little more complicated than that. The demon that possesses your father is one of the only ones that needs permission to enter. It seems to be something in his making, or maybe just a preference. When Azazel came for Sam, John changed the rules, he stabbed the demon, which essentially caught Mary's attention. She wasn't the one that heard Sam's cries, your father was, and with the stab, some of the demon blood entered Sam's bloodstream, creating the desired effect, but Azazel killed Mary when she entered the room."

"So, no pressed to the ceiling, bleeding from the stomach?" Sam whispered, but I heard his breath hitch as he tried to swallow hard. "How does knowing any of this change the fact that I still have to deal with the power struggle inside me and that Mom is dead because of a demon that we laid to waste years ago?"

"Sam," Cas turned to focus right on him, "when your father changed the deal, it started to break him. When Mary died, the darkness started to sink in, John's body prepared him for the demon that was sooner or later bound to take him over."

"So, Dad was basically getting marinated while we were growing up hunting the thing that killed Mom because Dad decided to renig on a contract?" Dean summarized and Cas took in a deep breath before giving him a nod. "Why does any of this matter?"

"You need to know the truth about your father, the reason why he's in his current condition."

Dean stepped forward, closing the distance between him and Cas, but Sam slipped out from behind me in less than a second to put an arm out, blocking Dean from getting too close to the angel. I could feel the tension growing in the air, the way that the thickness settled in.

"Dad made that deal, I don't need to know the hows and whys, Cas." He growled. "He made his bed, he can rot in it." Dean pushed Sam's arm away and moved past Cas, bumping him with his shoulder and I watched Sam's chest puff up as he took in a deep breath, not sure how to respond to all of the new news, but then I realized something, he wasn't acting like it was new. Dean stopped at the door and looked back at us, "I'm going to get a drink."

And with that, the door closed, leaving four of us in the room. I turned and looked up at the half-naked Winchester before me and took his clenched fist in my hand. Sam looked down, unsure of what to do and shook his head.

"Go after your brother," I whispered and grabbed a shirt from the dresser with my free hand. Sam took it gently, leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips before he stepped away, pulling on the shirt as he made his way out the door, calling out to Dean as the man walked across the parking lot. I turned to Cas and Danni and sighed. "We need to talk about this hybrid character."

"I think there is something else we need to talk about first, you and me," Danni spoke up and right off I could feel her tension.

"If you're planning on coming down on me, Dan, today is not the great time and now is so not the place." I found myself snapping, not what I had intended to do at all but there was just something in the air.

I could feel the tension growing again and I looked over at Cas, who was staring at me just as strangely as I was looking at him. It was then that I noticed the difference in my face as my vision began to vibrate once more. Cas was like the demons, but instead of the gray distortion, his was bright white, and getting brighter.

I could hear Danni talking to me, something about Dean, something about touching, something about… something, but all I could see was that brightness and suddenly there was a ringing in my ear. It made me wince at first, trying to ignore it, but it became so strong that I pressed my palm against it. Cas suddenly moved closer as I leaned back against the dresser but I flinched at the movement and suddenly Danni wasn't talking about Dean, she was asking if I was okay, but I couldn't tear my eyes away.

It hit like you would imagine a lightning bolt would, sharp and fast and very, very painful. The surge of power ripped through my head, making my skull feel as if it were about to split in two and I remember pressing my hands against my temples, trying to block out the noise, trying to press in the pain, and the scream that filled my ears didn't sound at all like me but I knew somewhere, deep down, that I was the one it had come from.

Hands were on me before I knew what was going on, and the floor was beneath me, but the pain didn't reside, it grew until I couldn't see, hear or feel anything but the thousands of little needles that broke through my skin. That was until one small hand touched me. I knew it was small because it didn't feel like the other four that held me, no this one was about the size of my own and it was cool to the touch.

I felt it against my forehead, in between my own, and the space behind my eyes grew bright once more, but this wasn't the same light as Castiel, this one had just a hint of blue and it was warm, and comforting. It felt as if it spread over the top of my head, in and around my ears, and the pain died down, the ringing stopped, and slowly those needles were withdrawn.

Sobbing and clenching onto Sam's arm and Dean's hand, I let the warmth take over me, prayed that it didn't come back but when I chanced to open my eyes, I saw Danni staring at me after pulling her hand away and the boys staring back at her.

I leaned my head back, not taking my eyes off from the woman in front of me, and I was able to breath just a little easier but Sam wasn't letting me go, pulling me onto his lap instead as he surrounded me with legs and arms, and Dean's fingers remained gently wrapped around my hand, needing to feel the shaking stop.

"What did you do?" I whispered, still staring into her blue eyes. Danni looked just as confused as I did and turned her eyes up to Cas, who made his way over to get closer to the group. He reached out a hand, something I drew back from, but there was only so far you could go when you had a moose trapping you to him. He touched my forehead with the tips of his fingers and his brow creased in confusion.

"It seems that Danni has found the light," he answered for her and glanced at the woman next to him. "You were able to block out the wave of darkness that was bombarding her, create a wall against something that would otherwise have been damaging. You should be proud of the work that you did."

"But, wait," Dean spoke up and his eyes darted back and forth between the two of them, "that means that the roles have already been chosen, that Danni's the light and Ali's the darkness?"

"It seems that way," Cas muttered but got up and moved towards the bed where he sat down, a pondering look on his face. I heard Dean sigh, his fingers, tracing over my temple as Sam's lips came down on my head. Yeah, now we were all worried. "I'm uncertain of the likelihood of this happening again and the consequences of Danni not being present should it arise could be catastrophic."

"Great," Sam growled, "so what? She's a ticking time bomb?"

"Essentially," Cas sighed. "I believe I have a way to keep it away but it's not something altogether pleasant."

"What is it, Cas?" I questioned, but my voice sounded distant, and I wanted to close my eyes against the feeling of it vibrating against my still throbbing head. It seemed that even angel magic couldn't get rid of all the after effects.

"It's an old Enochian spell, to create a wall of sorts," but I couldn't stifle the laugh and his eyes narrowed. "I don't see how this is amusing."

"Cas, all Enochian spells are old," I replied and watched as he shook his head before focusing on Sam, whose heart thumped against my ear, and I found myself playing with Dean's hand, the one that still held mine out of sight. "Jones might now where to get supplies around here."

Sam caressed the side of my neck with his fingers and I felt him nod. "She's right, the guy's just like Bobby used to be, a man with many connections."

"So, let's give him a shout." The older brother spoke up and felt him release my hand, only to move and scoop me up so that his brother could get off the floor. It felt like I was floating and the sudden movement make me dizzy enough to wrap my arms tightly around his neck, my heart racing in my chest. I felt the bed under me but I still didn't release him as the room spun wildly. "Okay, Kid, you can let go, I have to breath sometime."

"No," I snapped, holding my eyes tightly closed as the whirlwind slowed, "you really don't."

I heard him chuckle in my ear as he reached around and unhooked my arms, holding my wrists as he lowered me down to the pillow and once the world had come to a stop I looked up at him, his locked arms on either side of my head, smiling a half grin down at me.

"Are you trying to kill me?" He spoke softly and I watched his eyebrow raise, "cause you're doing a crappy job."

"Screw you, Winchester," I whispered and watched him wink as he backed away.

When I was able to focus on the rest of the room, when Dean had cleared a path so I could see Cas and Sam hovering over a book that Sam had retrieved from the trunk of the Impala, my eyes ventured to Danni, who was looking a little bit concerned but a lot of bit pissed off. Not sure what was going on, I watched her eyes dart from me to Dean and I wanted to just roll my own but it hurt too much. I sighed, raised my hand and beaconed her over to the bed.

"How's your head?" She questioned, sitting next to me on the mattress, facing away from the boys so that they could hear her concern but not see the misunderstanding in her face.

"When you figure out that I'm not trying to take your boy, it will get a whole lot better," I growled low so that it was almost a whisper and I watched her smile sarcastically before she sighed.

"It's just a lot, Ali," she admitted but the tone of her voice changed. Finally, some real conversation without being completely torn apart by allegations. "You have to figure, I've been with him for the last month and a half, alone, just the two of us, so to watch him with you, it's almost like watching him with another woman, not my sister."

"There is only one Winchester I want," I grinned and looked passed her at Sam, at the way his hair fell into his face, the way that he pushed it back as it became annoying, before I turned back to her. "Dean… I need Dean, Danni, it's just something strange, something I can't explain, I really wish I could."

"You say you need him like I'm supposed to be okay with that, when the word _need_ to me implies that you need him in more than just a touch here or there, what if it turns into something more between you?" Her fears were natural but unwarranted, I loved Dean but he didn't have what I wanted, he didn't have everything that Sam could give me, and I reached out to take her hand.

"There's nothing there, Danni," I whispered, no matter how deep my fantasies went lately, there was no way there would ever be anything between Dean and I, and they were buried pretty deep. It had been a long, long month and a half when the one man you wanted and the one man that helped ground you were so far away. "Dean is all yours, trust me when I say this."

"How can you know that?" She whispered and we both looked over at him as he came into the room, two cold beers in hand and watched as he offered one to Sam, who just gave a little shake. Dean sat down at the table, tucking himself in the corner so that he could watch the two of us. I smiled at the way his eye ran down the backside of Danni and turned my eyes to her.

"Until he opens his big mouth, you're just going to have to trust me," I whispered and felt a sudden wave of dizziness hit as the light started to glow brighter in the lamp beside me. I closed my eyes tightly and moaned, as the throb became stronger. The voices changed from crisp to muffled and I heard Danni speaking again, this time in a panicked voice before I felt hands on my arms, Sam hands, I would know them anyway.

"Ali, open your eyes," he whispered, knowing that the noise would be too much.

I raised my hands and brought them crashing down on his, gripping him tightly as the pain that had been in my head before ripped down my neck and into my chest. Arching off the bed, it was as if every muscle in my body had cramped up, a giant Charlie-horse that I couldn't walk off. I knew everything that was going on around me, heard everything, sensed everything, I could even smell each of them, like they had their own presence in my head and through closed eyes, I could tell where each one sat or stood in the room.

There was no light this time, no cool hand to bring me out of it, there was just the ache of the cramp, the burning of every muscle and then, there was nothing. My body relaxed, my head stopped hurting, the room came to a standstill and slowly I opened my eyes.

The only one I focused on was Sam, his blue-green eyes full of worry and pain. I opened my mouth to speak, to plead with him but only one word came out, one Latin words. "Auxilium."

"I'm not sure I know how to help," Sam whispered and kissed my head.

"Jones," I sighed, and let the words come out in English, "call him, Sam."

"I will," he whispered, trying to find something to encourage me, as I closed my eyes again. "Cas and I are going to get some of the stuff we can find around here, Dean is going to stay with you. Dean and Danni." He brushed back my hair from my head and let his lips linger there longer. "I'll be back as soon as I can, Al, I promise."

"Don't promise," I smiled, but never bothered to open them again, "just come back."

"I love you," he sighed, kissed me softly on the lips and I felt him move from the bed.

I know I mumbled something back but the lethargy was taking over my body, my muscles were worn from the fight and I had little left in the way of strength to keep the darkness at bay. Before I knew it, I couldn't remember anything but blackness and a strange little laugh that invaded my head.

I ground my teeth against it, as it became a relentless sound, invading my deepest thoughts. I wasn't going to survive this, I knew that now, for the first time in my life, I was truly afraid.


	44. DH God Killers - 11

**Chapter 11**

That annoying noise seemed to go on for hours, keeping me on just this side of consciousness and I know I said things, most of it was probably nonsense or didn't even come out as words and there were times when I could feel the cool wetness of a cloth come down over my forehead. Sometimes it soothed the ache and quieted the noise, but other times I jumped from it, as if the laughter had made some sudden move in my mind.

When I became tired of being tired and restless, when I had enough of the constant rattle in my head, I forced my eyes open just as Danni leaned over and touched my forehead again with the cloth. I licked my lips, noticing the dryness but watched the shock on her face as she stared at me, and then in a blink it was gone.

"What?" I groaned and moved my hand to run it down my face. "What did you see?"

"Your eyes," she whispered, taking a deep breath, "they were black."

I gave her a smile, one that said "yep, I know I'm screwed now," and rolled over on the bed, flattening myself out as much as possible. Noticing that they had only the bathroom light on in the room, I glanced over at Dean, who sat where I had last pegged him, in the chair in the corner by the window, his hands folded together over his stomach as he leaned back just watching me.

"Where's Sam?" I questioned, but it came out as little more than a whisper, and my eyes locked on his. Dean glanced at the door and then sat the chair down on all four legs before he leaned forward. "How long was I out?"

"Didn't sound like you actually were," he spoke up and his voice was distant, like he was in some other room, or on a bad cell call. "You were saying some weird crap, Ali."

"The laughing," I sighed and closed my eyes again, "it won't stop laughing."

I felt the weight that was on the bed, Danni's weight, shift and I suddenly felt very much alone, but there was nothing I could do for that, she moved of her own free will, I was just stuck there. I reached my hand up, ran it down my face, which was still wet from the cloth she had just been dabbing it with, but the wetness felt funny and I opened my eyes to get a better look.

As I focused in the dim light, I noticed the palm of my hand was dark, and when I curled my fingers there was a familiar stickiness to them. I shot up, something that made my head spin but I didn't care, my focus was on the amount of blood that coated my skin. As my heart raced, and my breathing became just as shallow, I turned to look at the ice bucket that Danni was using as a bowl and watched the blood drip from the side, the rough hotel cloth that should have been white was a dark crimson red.

"Jesus!" I cried and backed away from it, almost falling off the bed. I didn't hear Dean and Danni move, but when I looked up to search them out, to find where they had disappeared to in the room, I saw John standing where Dean had been sitting, leaning casually against the wall, arms and legs crossed and a knowing smile on his face. "Go away!"

"Ali?" Danni's voice fought through the fog as I tried to take my focus away from the man in the room, but I was locked in a stare with the man with the yellow eyes, and I backed up once again, this time my hand hitting air instead of mattress and I thought I was going over until two arms wrapped solidly around me.

"Easy there, Kid," Dean's voice cooed, and I felt a solid chest behind me. "Take it easy."

I groaned as I closed my eye and let him take on the brunt of my weight, "someone just shoot me now."

"Ain't gonna happen, brat." Dean chuckled and moved his arms around to pick me up just a bit and set me down in the middle of the bed again. Danni reached for my hand and I felt mine wrap around hers as Dean sat beside me, as if he were about to stretch out but he just settled for sitting next to me, his hand gliding up my arm. "What do you see?"

"Blood," I answered but as I opened my eyes one more, I locked on that man still standing in the corner.

How was I supposed to tell him that his father was standing there watching me with interest? I turned my head away from the man in the room, and blinked up at Dean as he stared down at me with worry in his eyes. there was a darkness there that I could almost reach out and grab and I remembered what Sam said, that when Dean came to get him, he wasn't the brother he had left, Dean was darker and more dangerous.

"Tell me a story," I whispered and watched as Dean's lips parted and he rolled his eyes. "Tell me a story of a little green-eyed boy."

"Sammy already told you this story, Ali," Dean whispered and I reached over, putting my hand on his leg. He closed his eyes, opened them just enough to look down at it, and took a deep breath. "You don't need to know it."

"I do, Dean, I need to understand this," and my fingers curled against the fabric of his jeans, creating a scratching sound and getting a quick breath from him, "there has to be a reason for it, and it's not just to keep me protected from your brother."

"I don't get why it's so important," his hand left my arm, grasping the one on his leg instead and he placed both of them down on the bed. "It's not a bedtime story, Al, it's my life."

"I know," I sighed and glanced over at the man in the corner. I could feel Dean's eyes follow mine, and the worry spread across his face.

"Who's standing there?" Dean questioned, his voice stern and demanding, which had my sights locked back on his in an instant.

"John," I whispered, almost afraid as he looked again, not seeing anyone.

"What's he saying to you?" I chanced a quick peek but he still stood just the way he had and I shook my head.

"He's not saying anything, he's waiting," was what I whispered, my eyes not leaving the man in the corner, but I jumped when he moved, stood straight, uncrossed his arms and legs and I pushed up against Dean, my back to his waist. The older Winchester folded over me, one hand on either side, leaning down, his breath just a brush away from my ear.

"Ali, listen to me, he's not real, you tell him to leave," Dean encouraged, and my gaze flickered to Danni, who was now looking in the corner with curiosity and I wondered if she could see him, but that look came back at me filled with concern and I shivered against Dean. "You tell him that if he doesn't leave you alone, I'm going to kill him myself."

"He wants the truth, Dean," I answered and shook my head, knowing he wouldn't leave unless I could get Dean to talk. "Why did you and Sam argue?"

Dean let out a frustrated breath and he leaned his forehead down on my temple before backing away, his hand resting on my stomach as he straightened and looked up at nothing. Watched him run a hand down his face, rub at the scruff on his cheek and look down at his feet for a moment before he cleared his throat.

"I'm the reason Sam left, I mean the argument that we had was the reason he went to hunt on his own." He glanced at me, probably to see if I was casting any judgement but my fingers fluttered against the hand on my stomach and I let my eyes close again as he continued. "He, ah, wanted me to go to college," Dean laughed, "like to actual college. I had been doing online courses for months under Dad's radar but nothing major, just pre-rec stuff."

"College?" Danni whispered, which got Dean to give us a half smile. "Stanford?"

"Yale," Dean said with a shrug, as if it were no big deal. "I was majoring in demonology and history, figured why not go with what I know best, right? But I wouldn't leave Sammy and that pissed him off, I mean sent him skyrocketing. I wouldn't leave him to deal with Dad and his own issues, there was no way, that was my baby brother and I always had to protect him."

"College boy, hmm, sexy," I grinned but never bothered to open my eyes as he gave out a small huff, one that was supposed to be a laugh.

"Nah, not me, should have been Sammy," he said softly, "the kid's a freaking genius, could crack a code in less than ten seconds, came up with some wild stuff, but he was afraid of his ability to control anything."

"Dean Henry Winchester," I scolded and felt his fingers flatten against me, "don't ever sell yourself short, you're just as much of a closet geek as the other one is."

I felt his breath again, so close to my face. "How did you know my middle name? No one knows it, Bobby wiped it from the data banks long ago, mine and Sam's."

My eyes opened, just enough to see the man in the corner, just enough to watch him smile. "John told me. Named after your grandmother and grandfather. I like it, it suits you."

"Not the point, Porter," he smiled and back away again, but watched as his head turned in the direction that I was looking, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever was hiding in the corner before setting his sights on Danni. I watched him give her a full smile, one that seemed to brighten the sad look in her eyes and then he winked at her before he looked down at me. "You gonna let me tell this, or are you going to lecture me?"

"Um," I hummed out and then let my eyes close again.

"Yeah, so, the argument was that I should have gone, I mean I was riding on a full scholarship, nothing out of Dad's pocket, but Sam couldn't see that I needed to be there for him, I needed to be by his side, but I guess he couldn't be near people, so coming with me wasn't an option for him," Dean's voice had just a touch of nervous energy as if telling this secret was going to get him in trouble somehow. "So, Sam's decision on the matter was that if he left, I would be free to go, but that's not how it worked out."

His hand moved from my stomach, rested on my side and I felt him play with the hem on my shirt, as if it were a nervous twitch and he couldn't really figure out what to do with himself, but the need to be close hadn't gone away.

"I didn't understand why Dad was so upset, why he was the way he tended to be? Sam leaving sent him over the edge and he blamed me, I was supposed to watch over Sammy, I was supposed to protect him," I could feel the emotions running through him, like a new sense of everything his was flowed into me and I shivered against it. "He started to hit the bottle hard at that point, I mean he wasn't a saint before but he always seemed to keep his head on straight, especially when it came to Sam, but when Sam disappeared, Dad lost it. He was drunk most times, and when we came back from a hunt, his first thing would be to swing, and he swung at me."

"Jesus, Dean," Danni whispered.

"He only got past me once, and then never again," Dean growled, his fear turning to anger, "if Dad swung, I swung back, harder, faster, until he wasn't a match for me anymore." His fingers stopped and I felt him sit up straight. "I couldn't let go after that. I mean, I really had to keep it reigned in, you know. Every time I went out, I thought that I was going to get it when I came back, so I stopped coming back. I would find the first bar I could and find a girl, or two. The problem was, I was so angry. I didn't have Sam to bounce it off of, I didn't have Dad to listen, and Bobby, well Bobby was a saint and I love him but there was nothing he could do for me except find me an out."

"Did he?" Danni joined in, which was great because there was no way I was getting anything out of my groggy mouth as I just lay there and listened.

"Yeah, he got me cases, ones away from Dad, ones that seemed to track Sam and that's how I watched over my little brother." Dean took his hands from me completely and I felt the bed move. The lack of contact made me feel empty but I knew he must have felt the need to disconnect. I heard the mini-fridge open, heard the twist of the bottle top and the hiss of the release of air from the beer bottle. "Bobby sent me to Wickenburg, some little hick town with a ghost problem, and that's where I found Sammy, nearly dead on his feet from the necromancer we were facing. That was about the same time that I found out that Dad had been missing and off the radar for about a week. I thought it would be great to have Sam back, but he was more damaged than before."

"Why?" This again from Danni who switched to sitting on the bed with me. I hadn't moved, I assume they had thought I was asleep but soon those callous fingers were running over my temple and I sighed, letting him know the only way I had energy to that I was still with them.

"Jessica died," Dean whispered as he sat back down on the bed beside me. "He had been in the area a while from what I gathered when he was strong enough to even tell me. She was a student at a nearby college and one night was almost attacked a were that he was hunting, but he got to it just before it was able to bite her. She was pre-med, helped him get his crap together, stitched him up a few times and Sammy fell in love."

"How long were you apart?"

"Three years," Dean answered, clearing his throat, and I heard the bottle clank down on the table beside my head. "Three years of tracking him, keeping tabs on him and the son of a bitch was shacking up with some beautiful blonde co-ed," he stopped for a second and snickered, "way to go Sammy." I smiled at this because you could just hear the pride in his voice and with the acknowledgement that I was awake, Dean leaned down and kissed my cheek. "I think that's the reason for this, whatever _this_ is with Ali. Sam lost a lover once, I can't let that happen again, and the closer I keep her, the better she might be. I'm sorry, Danni, it's just what I feel inside."

"I get it," she sighed but I knew deep down that she really didn't because I didn't. It was so much more than just keeping me safe for Sam's sake. And even Sam's explanation about Dean touching to make sure that Sam didn't do damage just went flying out the window. There was something deeper here, something that neither of us understood quite yet, but I knew that it was bothering Danni, it bothered her a lot. "So, Jess… what happened?"

"I thought it was the same thing that happened to our mom, but really now that I know the truth, I don't know. She was really on the ceiling, fire erupted around her and Sam barely made it out of the house alive." His fingers found a fidget, twirling the beer bottle, and I listened to the swish of the liquid for a moment, before he continued. "Sam hadn't been the same since. He's always been a little more reckless than most kids but Jess' death sent him over the edge, he's been harder and so much more dangerous," I felt the back of his hand caressed my cheek, "until you."

"I didn't do anything," I mumbled and listened to him laugh before feeling his lips on my temple again.

"You love him, for his darkness and for everything else about him, and he needs that." Dean whispered softly, as if saying it loud enough for Danni to hear would make some big difference. "Sometimes we all need that."

I was about to reply, to give him some smart ass remark that was brewing in my head, but the door opened and I heard Sam walk in and felt Cas enter the room.

"Hey," Sam's slightly higher voice sent waves of lust through me with one words and I found myself being pulled out of the lethargy, enough to open my eyes and see that John was no longer in the room, but Cas was standing there, looking in the same spot with a curious tilt of his head before the angel looked back at me. "Everything okay here?"

"Yeah, I was just telling Peaches, here, a bedtime story." Dean answered and I rolled over on the bed to look up at him before he pushed the hair from my face. "Crap, didn't work, all I see is beautiful blue eyes." I wanted to reach out and smack him but all I could do is shake my head and even that caused a wave of dizziness. "I, for one, am glad to see them."

He grasped me under the arms, as if I were some sort of life-sized ragdoll and pulled me up to a more seated position on the bed so that I could really see what was going on. Sam smiled at me as he unpacked the ingredients that filled the brown paper bag and I caught of a whiff of something potent and potentially vomit inducing.

"Tell me I don't have to drink whatever the hell smells that bad?" I growled and Sam pulled the mason jar from the counter.

"No, no drinking of any sort," he answered, and walked over to sit on the bed with the jar in hand. He held it up, and damn if I couldn't smell it through the unbroken seal.

"I think they did their canning process wrong," I whined and placed my hand over my nose, but happened a chance at the corner of the room, happy to see that John had finally disappeared.

"No, it's actually on there perfectly." He laughed and I looked at him as if to tell him he might be a little insane before I reached out and took the jar from his hand. Looking at the contents, some strange looking gland that floated in a mix of what I assumed was blood and formaldehyde, I swallowed down what little contents I still had in my stomach. Raising an eyebrow, I gave Sam back the jar and he gave me the once over before leaning in and kissing me softly on the lips. "You look so much better."

"I feel like the world is hanging on by a thread and that the pain could start any minute, so whatever you got, I think we need to do it fast." His lips turned down in a frown as he took the bottle, kissed me again and walked away. "And, don't open that crap in our room, Sam, ugh it smells so bad."

He grinned sheepishly as he glanced over his shoulder at me, placed the jar down in the wooden bowl that he had collected from the trunk of the Impala and winked. "Don't worry, this part we're going to do out back."

"Good, I didn't want to have to get up and kick your ass!" I mumbled, but apparently it was loud enough for Dean to make out and he laughed with his back turned to me. I watched his shoulders move with it and glanced over at Danni. "You okay?"

"As fine as I can be, I guess." She replied and I sighed. That story had been just as hard on her as it had been on me, but we know where our boys were coming from now, not that it explains everything but it was a part of history we could get past, and not have to revisit again, or at least I hoped. Danni scooted closer to me and stared deep into my eyes. "You had black eyes when you opened them earlier, demon eyes. What the hell did you do, Ali?"

"I guess I accepted my role," I answered blankly and inhaled deeply, before a smile formed on my lips, "just like you and your little "white lighter" role. This isn't "Charmed", this could all end badly."

"Yeah, for the both of us but here you are letting John into your head," her tone was more of a question, but all I could do was shrug, "I thought you said that Jones warded you up, how is he getting it?"

"It's not just John and he wasn't _in_ anywhere, he was here." I snapped and watched as she looked around the room.

"I didn't see anyone." The look in her eyes when she told me that made me feel like I was going insane but at the same time, I knew. I knew that if she were meant to see John, he would have been open about it, as it was Cas had sensed him as soon as the angel walked into the room. I watched as the boys left the room from the corner of my eye before turning my full attention back on her.

"Despite what you might think, Sis, I am not coocoo for Cocoa Puffs," I hissed and her lips drew taunt. "You can think what you want, but for just one second I wish you knew what it was like to be inside my head. It's not all sunshine and rainbows in here, it's pretty dark and screwed up, and I'm doing the best I can to keep it that way."

"By using Dean?"

"Oh, Jesus!" I snapped and turned away from her, swinging my legs off the bed, I felt them land firmly on the floor before I pushed myself up, I could sense the air in the room getting thicker and suddenly, as if it were a tingle on my skin, I could feel a new power close by. Slipping on my shoes, I grabbed Sam's red flannel and slipped it on. On surprisingly steady feet, I made my way to the door, following that pull, but I stopped at the end of the bed and stared her down. "You need to get over it, seriously, if you don't understand it by now… it doesn't matter, I'm done trying to explain."

My feet had me moving, following the power around the backside of the building. I knew that despite the argument that we had, Danni was right behind me but as we turned the corner, seeing the three boys standing around the fire that burned in the small wooden bowl, I froze. Sam looked over, as if he had heard the suddenly release of my breath, Dean followed suit, but it was the man in the black designer outfit that had me shiver.

He was just like I had seen him in the show, this was his true form, resembling Mark Sheppard in every way, except there was true evil in the smile that crossed this one's lips. He was wearing black right now to the clip that held his tie and his hands were stuffed into the heavy wool overcoat, something not at all fitting for the time of year.

"Hello, Pets." He winked and the feeling in the pit of my stomach churned.

"Crowley," was all I could manage to get out in a whisper that took my breath away.


	45. DH God Killers - 12

Chapter 12

"What the hell's going on here?" I snapped and looked at the boys, moving closer to them. "This is your plan, bring in another demon to get rid of the one parading around in my head?" I looked up at Sam as I stood by him, saw his jaw clench and narrowed my eyes at him. "Good plan, I mean, why not throw one more in the mix."

"He's not in your head, love," Crowley grinned and my stare focused on him as he raised his brow, giving him a scruffy, teddy bear kind of look, albeit a teddy bear that could rip you to threads and eat you all while torturing you on the rack. "You're in his!"

I slipped the demon blade from Sam's belt, grasped it tightly in my hand and walked right up to the man inside the devil's trap. I could see his eyes begin to glow as he stood there, apparently very unafraid of me at the moment even as the tip of the blade pressed against the soft underside of his jaw.

"I could run you through," I growled.

"And then you would never be let out of this," he answered, tilting his head down so that he could lean against the knife. His eyes moved towards the ground, a gesture I followed and looked at the ornately drawn devil's trap, really seeing it for the first time and I realized, it was different. I turned to Sam, whose expression told me that he was apologetic, then at Dean who was clenching his jaw while staring down Crowley, but it was Cas that made me question just what was going on. "You see this one isn't made for me," Crowley whispered while my head was turned and suddenly the resistance against the blade was gone and he was standing alongside Castiel. "It was made for you, love."

"Son of a bitch!" I snapped and moved towards the edge of the circle, finding myself trapped within the confines of just the symbolic outline by an invisible wall. Kicking at it with the toe of my shoe, I brought my eyes up to stare at Sam. "Come on, let me out, Sam."

"This is how we were told to do it," he sighed, and grabbed the book from the ground, "I'm sorry, Al, but we need to put this wall up, you need to be able to control it."

"I'm controlling it just fine," I stressed and suddenly heard the laughter in my head, which made me spin around and look out in the darkness.

"If this is fine, I would hate to see you on a good day," Crowley added, getting a dirty look from not only me but Dean as well. "Well, if that was all you boys needed me for…"

"I have questions, Crowley, lots of questions," I answered and watched as he gave me a smile.

"No, I think your little demon boy toy has questions, Kitten," Crowley replied, walking up to the line and we both looked down as his toes barely touched the spray paint that separated us. "I think he's listening right now, and if he is, please let him know, when this is over, his ass is mine for hurting my girl."

"I'm not your girl!" I growled and a knowing smile played on his lips.

"Oh, but you are," he sighed, "more than you know."

And with that… he was gone.

Great, one more thing to add to the growing lists of "what the hell was that!" I tossed the knife outside the circle at Sam's feet and watched as he squatted down, picked it up, and held it for a moment before standing to face me.

"What did Jones tell you to do?"

"Nothing bad," he answered but moved closer, and I stepped back as I watched him hold that blade in his hand, but I wasn't quick enough, he was able to reach over the barrier and snatch my wrist. Holding the blade against the soft inside of my arm, I stared at him, ground my teeth together as he slid it across my skin.

Blood weld up and a line of it flowed from me, some coated the blade, most dripped on the ground below me and with a gentle touch, his fingers rubbed over my arm as he let me go, but I hissed at him as I back further away. The demon blade made the wound unable to heal and I watched as the blood continued to drip from the tips of my fingers as I let it hang by my side.

"Blood of the infected," Cas whispered, taking the blade from Sam, who had cast his eyes down from mine, but I watched as Cas used his fingers to smear the blood down the blade and wipe every drop into the bowl before cracked open the mason jar. The smell hit me like a bad egg and instantly my eyes watered as my hand rose to block my nose.

"What the hell is that?" I gagged.

"Troll," Cas replied and I looked at him as if to say he was insane.

"Troll? Like the Billy Goats Gruff kind of troll?"

Cas looked at me confused and continued what he was doing, which was stabbing at the object in the mason jar before he put it into the bowl with my blood. "Norse mythology has the background of trolls all wrong."

"Dude," I whispered and shook my head, "you just insulted a whole lot of people with that one statement."

"I'll apologize to them when they come forward," Cas answered as he went back to doing whatever it was that he needed to, which looked like he was mashing it up. "The pituitary gland of a male troll has multiple healing properties, including the banishment of unwanted spirits."

"Sam swore I didn't have to drink that!" I snapped and looked up at the man with the blue-green eyes, "you promised, Sam!"

"You're not going to drink it, Ali, it's for something else." Sam replied, and he winked as he went back to looking at the book in his hand, before crouching down to draw some herbs from the small bags that lay beside the bowl, adding them into the mixture.

"I'm not bathing in the blood of virgins either!" I snapped and moved along the length of the circle that surrounded me.

"Hey," Dean snapped and I looked at the seriousness on his face, "no one is killing any virgins." I rolled my eyes at him as he stepped closer to the line. "This is going to help, I swear, Kid."

"So says you, you're on the other side of the line, Dean!" I moped and watched the smile cross his face. "Why did you call Crowley of all people?"

"Ah, cause he's a demon, and you seem to be in tune with them," he bantered back, "besides, we couldn't call Dad, which was Cas' idea."

"No, you did the right thing, I prefer Crowley over John right now." I crossed my arms wanting anything to reach out and touch him but I knew if I even touched the barrier. I looked around at the way it shimmered form inside the circle and watched as Sam walked up. "Are we almost done?"

"We're ready, but Ali, it means I'm coming in," Sam stated and this had me take a step back, shaking my head.

"You can't come in here, are you insane?" I snapped and moved back again. "You can't come in _here_ , it's too dangerous, _I'm_ too dangerous."

"You're not going to hurt me, Ali, that's why we set up the trap to begin with," Sam whispered as he stepped over the line, a movement that had me stumbling back as far as I could go before being pressed against the other side of the wall.

Cas handed him the bowl and then the book, both of which he set down on the ground by his feet, never taking his eyes off me. Once they were placed solidly in a spot he rose, both hands before him and he took a step closer. I had nowhere to go, the wall behind me shook, keeping me locked in as Sam closed the distance. He stopped, not more than a foot from me, the toe of his overgrown boot tapping against mine and he slowly brought his hands down to cup my face.

I shook at the feeling of his skin, warm, inviting skin, against mine and a moan escaped my lips. Why was it that he could set me on fire with just a touch, but no matter how much I fought the feeling of evil, pushed it down to take in everything that Sam was giving me, I couldn't shake the dread that was creeping up.

"You should run," I whispered as he used his thumbs to tilt my head up and my hands went right to his wrists, trying to get him to understand. "You should take your brother and go far, far away from me, Sam. I'll only bring out the darkness in you."

"I can't do that," he sighed, lowering his lips towards mine as he tipped just a bit so that when we connected it would be like piecing a puzzle together, "I can't leave you again, do you understand that, not ever again. You could never bring out the darkness, you push it back, you keep it at bay."

"I'm so full of hate right now, evil… I just want to destroy everything," I felt the heat rise in my chest, but the devil's trap seemed to keep that part, that harmful thing that Zane was trying to do, it kept it down so that I stood a fighting chance. "Sam, you don't understand the damage I could do."

"You're talking to the one person who probably knows exactly what you're capable of," his breath rushed over my lips, warm against the wetness that lingered here, and I ached for him to close the distance, to press against me. I needed it. "That's how I know you won't hurt me, you're part of me, and I'm not letting go."

"Then you better kiss me because I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on before this barrier breaks and I can't promise the outcome." I sighed as one hand moved from my neck to the small of my back and he pulled might tightly to his body.

"With pleasure," he teased and his lips crashed down on mine. It was a kiss full of love, full of passion and the instant he touched me, the fire roared and the dragon inside screamed loudly.

The demon was not all that happy of the connection as the darkness flared. I held onto Sam as long as I could, moving my own fingers up to tangle in his hair, pulling him closer before I licked my tongue against his lips, and suddenly he was open for me, bringing me in deep, letting me taste everything about him. The darkness ascended and I felt my eyes grow black as spades, released him and pushed Sam away.

"GO!" I growled and watched as he looked down at me. I tried to breath, feeling nothing but the fire in my chest, as I placed one hand on my thigh, the other stretched out toward him, not touching but almost holding him at bay. "Please, for the love of all that is holy, just let me go!"

"Can't do that, Ali," Sam whispered and suddenly I was splashed with something rancid smelling. I looked up at him as he held the bowl in his hand, the mixture of herbs, blood and troll coating his fingers. I didn't think anything of it at first, until it started to burn, and that burn brought me to my knees. The smell alone could have made me sick, but it was the nausea as he anointed me once again that had me retching up what looked like black goo. Sam stepped closer, this time he knelt in front of me, the bowl by his side, the book in his hand. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

"You'll be even more sorry when I rip your heart out!" I growled and went to jump at him but I couldn't move, the liquid he had covered me in tied me to that spot and I howled in anger. "You know what I could do to you right now?"

I watched as Sam looked me over, but all I could see was his face, the way the veins beat beneath his skin and the darkness that flowed through him. He still had the demon blood in him, I could see it, because when I looked up at the other, there wasn't anything remotely close to what I witnessed in Sam. I licked my lips, wiped the black tar from my chin and smiled.

"The things I could do to your body right here," I whispered and watched as he put his fingers into the blood-filled bowl, flicking it at me as he stared me in the eyes, but I hissed at the pain that the concoction inflicted before leaning toward him again. "I could make you come so hard you would think your heart was going to stop. Think about it, Sam, think about what you could do to me, how much you could make me bleed with just one forceful thrust."

I watched his chest puff up as he took a breath, his jaw clenched as he stifled a snarl and he looked down at the book quickly before his eyes locked on mine from under the wisps of his hair. His lips parted and I smiled. I knew what was coming next.

"PATER noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum." Sam started and suddenly I found it hard to breath, in fact, it was hard to do anything as the pain rose in my chest, "Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris." He looked at me as I stared at him in pain, but the smile rose on my face as he continued his reciting. "Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen."

"Come on, Sammy," I teased, "you're going to have to do better than that. The Our Father, really?"

"Well, let's just try it again, you didn't really seem to like it the first time," he quipped back and again anointed me with the liquid, this time it hurt though, like needles against my skin. "PATER noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra." I could feel something pulling at me, something in my head yanking at all of the nerve ending in my brain and I cried out, closing my eyes tightly. "Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen."

"Again!" I pleaded, feeling the darkness flowing out of me, retreating.

"Ali," he whispered, unsure and I looked up at him, my eyes not seeing the way that his blood flowed.

"Again, Sam." I nodded and watched him swallow, this time he raised a finger up and pressed it against my forehead, the ritual potion dripping down my skin.

"PATER noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra." His voice was a little shaky as he pulled his finger down to between my eyes, and I locked my jaw, grinding my teeth together as I held back the cry of pain. "Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen."

I could almost feel the demon coming forward, the way my mind was pushing him out, but I saw the colors flicker back in my eyes and grabbed Sam's hand, the one against my forehead.

"Again." I whispered, but my voice wasn't as strong as I hoped. He glanced back as Dean, Danni and Cas but I pressed against the finger on my forehead. "Sam! Again!"

Just as he started to speak, I let the words that I knew by heart flow from my own mouth, the exorcism, the one he always picked on me for needing to brush up on my Latin, spilled out as fast as I could remember it. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus. Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursion, infernalis adversarii, omnis legio," I felt the pain as he crossed the vertical line on my head with a horizontal one, completely the cross, and I used the last of my breath, as exhaustion tried to overtake me to get out some of the last lines that I could, my own exorcism, my own battle still needed to be fought as he came to the end of the Our Father, "omnis congregatio et secta diabolica."

With those last words, Sam took his hand away, the pain inside me died, left me breathing heavy but on my own without the voice in my head, without the laughter that had been ringing through, and I leaned forward on my hands, resting the top of my head on Sam's stomach as his clean hand came down on my back. I didn't feel the evil, though some of the darkness remained, and I was suddenly alone in my head.

"Ali," he whispered as I closed my eyes. After a minute of catching everything that was me, like my heart and my lungs, I sat back on my heels and gave him a little bit of a grin, just a little before I turned and reached behind me. Hesitantly, I reached out towards the edge of the trap, licked my lips and pushed my hand at what I thought would be a barrier, but there was nothing but empty space. Sam's hands were on me before I could fully turn around and he kissed me solidly on the lips, a gesture I backed away from and smiled.

"Don't kiss me when I have troll all over me!" I snapped playfully and watched him grin.

"Well, maybe we should get you out of here so you can shower." He said softly as he pushed my hair back from my eyes.

"Yeah, because… eww!" I smiled and watched as Cas came forward to grab the book and bowl.

"I'll dispose of this," the angel stated and looked down at the two of us. "I agree, a shower might be beneficial."

I laughed at him as Sam nodded and removed his over shirt, using it as a towel so that he could not only wipe his hands but also try to smudge off the mark on my forehead. I stopped him for a second and bit my lip.

"What I said, about you hurting me," I stared but his lips silenced any protests, just a small brush of them had my heart racing.

"I know, Ali," he winked and took my hand, "I know."

The water was hot, almost to the point where you would think it could boil off your skin but I was barely feeling it as I stood underneath the shower stream. I closed my eyes, my back to the shower, and tilted my hair back into the flow. It was erasing everything from the day and now all I wanted was a cheeseburger, maybe a wine cooler and Sam.

Okay so the burger and cooler didn't show up as requested, at least not in the shower, but I heard the door squeak open and a cold chill ran over me as the steam quickly disappeared. I opened my eyes, straightened my head and looked at the man that peaked around the corner of the curtain, his eyes going up and down my naked frame before he looked at me with a cool smile.

"There's two things that could happen here, Winchester," I whispered and stepped forward towards him as Sam opened the curtain more so that he could lean against the wall, "you could a: go away and leave me all alone in here, naked and needing, or you could strip and join me."

"Wow, naked and needing?" He teased, "is that supposed to make me want to jump you?"

"No, but it should give you some awfully naughty thoughts," I smiled and pressed up against him, the water from my skin wetting his shirt. "Oops, look at that, why not just take it off."

"You did that on purpose," he whined, which made me smile and I grabbed the bottom of his tee-shirt.

"No, I did this on purpose," I pulled it up and over his stomach, just enough to make him raise his arms but instead of helping him take it off the rest of the way, I brought my lips down on the bare skin around his nipples. Sam moaned as he quickly removed the shirt the rest of the way and made quick work of the belt, buttons and zipper to his jeans before his hands were in my hair, bringing me to his lips. "Don't come dressed."

"There's only one way I want to come," he growled against my mouth and brought me to him again, toeing off his shoes as I tried my best to get the jeans and constricting material of his boxer briefs away from his body.

Once completely naked, he moved me back into the shower, and hissed at the feeling of the heat against his skin. Reaching back I turned it down, giving it more of a warm temperature, than the scolding one I was used to, but the difference in heat was quickly made up for as Sam pressed me against the wall, his kisses becoming demanding.

I couldn't help the noises that escaped me, didn't want to be quiet about them, no matter who happened to be through that cheap wooden door and his mouth began the trail that lead from my lips down my shoulders to my breast, where he taunted and nipped at each nipple, paying equal attention to each before moving on, leaving little red love bite along the way.

One hand still paused on my neck, his thumb ran over the pulse there as his other slipped under my knee, lifting my leg and opening me up for him as his lips danced against the hot folds between them and I gripped his hair, as he teased and dipped in, teasing the bundle of nerves that he also brushed with his teeth.

It's a good thing the demon didn't kill me, I would rather die this way, and if he kept going he was liable to give me a heart attack. Giving him a good tug on his hair, he gave me one last reason to moan, by capturing all of me in his mouth as he sucked hard on my skin. The feeling of being all consumed by him had me shaking bad enough that the one steady leg I was leaning on just about gave out.

His hand came down suddenly from my neck, dipped behind me and grabbed my ass and as he came up to claim my lips once more, the other joined its counterpart, lifting me up so that he had all of my weight pressed between him and the wall. I wrapped my legs around his waist, locked my ankles behind him and felt him stiffen as the tip of his ready and waiting. I press forward, taking the tip of him in and watched as his lips parted and his forehead pressed against mine.

"Go slow," he whispered, practically begged.

"Oh, my boy likes to be tortured?" I smiled and felt him nod, his eyes closed.

"Need to," he sighed out as I wrapped around him just a little more, "take it slow."

I pressed up with my lips, brushing his mouth, the sides of his cheeks as I wrapped my arms around his neck, using his shoulders for some leverage and pulled my legs tighter around him, giving him no choice but to be pressed against me as closely as he could while I teased my way down his length. He let out little noises, something I never knew he could make as inch by painfully slow inch, I let him fill me, encased him in heat and when I was seated firmly against his hips, when there was nowhere left to go, I heard him sigh.

"No more going slow, Sam," I demanded and with that he pulled back and thrust forward enough to make me gasp.

The pure pleasure of it had me digging my nails into his skin as he made sure one arm was braced under me as the other moved my hair aside so he could get to his favorite spot on my neck. I tilted my head, waited for that sharp pain and groaned as he teased me with every inch of the wild pace he had chosen and the feather light feeling of his mouth.

"Ugh!" I growled in frustration and grabbed the back of his head.

He laughed as he pulled back and looked into my eyes. "My girl likes it rough," he teased and rammed once again, causing my breath to hitch as I rolled my eyes and put my head back.

"Yes," I answered and felt the growing heat as he did it several more times. It wasn't that I didn't like the soft feel of making love, but at this point, I wanted and what I wanted was nothing more than him to take me, every way he could, even if it was rough. I opened my eyes, staring down into the darkened ones before me with a smile and tilted my head to the side. "Please, Sam."

"Never pegged you for a beggar," he whispered as he leaned down, his mouth hot against my flesh as his teeth grazed the flesh under them, all the while his rhythm never stopped and I could feel the buildup coming to a head.

"Only for you," I managed to get out between gasping breaths, and with that his teeth sank down, making me cry out. I had such a high pain threshold that everything was either one way or the other, either pleasure or nothing but with Sam, he knew just what to do to bring me to that point and as his teeth sunk in and his thrust buried deep, I felt my world coming undone as I found myself begging again. "Harder."

The laugh that vibrated over my shoulder made my eyes roll back as he pressed down deeper with his jaw, sucked harder on the skin and his driving force became quick, short movements as he found just the right spot to have me keening in his ear. The man was a God, and I felt the climax rush through me, over him and he let out a moan that had me up and over the top once more before I felt him thicken within me.

His lips broke away from my neck, and he put his head back into the cooling stream of water as his lips parted and his eyes closed tightly. I could see the way his teeth clenched through his parted lips and he stiffened as he pushed up against me one last time before bringing his head down to my shoulder, resting the top of it where his lips had been, while he tried to catch his breath.

"Jesus, I think you're trying to kill me," Sam laughed with each breath he tried to catch.

"You're the one that got in the shower with me," I smiled as he kissed me while slowly releasing me, until I stood on wobbling legs, "and I'm trying to kill you?"

"Well, you know, you begging gets me all hot and bothered." Sam grinned, kissed my forehead and then quickly claimed my mouth once more, leaving a branding kiss upon it before he grabbed the soap and washed himself off quickly. I smiled as he rinsed, winked and disappeared out behind the curtain to find a towel.

I felt the hot air leave the room, which meant he left the door open and there was no way I was able to get out if Cas, Dean or Danni was in the room. Quickly, I checked behind the curtain to see that all of the towels were gone.

Rolling my eyes, I leaned back against the wall before I sighed.

"You're an asshole, Sam Winchester!" I screamed and listened to the loud belly laugh that came from somewhere towards the front of the motel room. With a big smile on my face, for the first time in days, I stood there completely alone in my head and relaxed. I wish I had spent more time there, because nothing ever stays quiet for long.


	46. DH God Killers - 13

**Chapter 13**

Things were eerily quiet for the next several hours, quiet enough to sleep, to dream, to find myself curled up in the arms of the man I was madly in love with. But also quiet enough that I was shaken from those peaceful dreams to a sound outside the room. I rolled my eyes, because if I didn't get some kind of sleep at some point during this little trip, I was going to be dead on my feet and useless. With a deep breath, I slipped out of Sam's arms, grabbed his heavy flannel, one that went down to my knees and grabbed the spectrum from my bag.

I pushed the curtain aside and looked out at the figure that leaned against the charger, his hands in the pocket of the coat he was wearing and slipped on my shoes. Crowley grinned at me as I opened the door, and he raised an eyebrow at the fact that I was wearing nothing much more than a make-shift nightgown.

"You would think Moose would have you in irons by now, Love." He said as he moved towards the front of the car and leaned back on the grill. "I see all your cracks have been sealed in that beautiful noggin of yours."

"No thanks to you," I snapped and leaned against the doorsill, leaving it open in case Sam woke up. But then again, I was pretty sure he had woken up the moment I moved on the bed, he was just lying in wait to see what happened next. "Way to be helpful, by the way, lure me into a devil's trap, get me stuck and then pop off like you don't need to explain exactly how I'm _your_ girl?"

"You've been my girl for as long as you can remember, Angel, your grandmother made that pact." Crowley answered and gave me a crooked grin. "Or did that pretty little hybrid fry your noodle that much already that you've forgotten all about that?"

"I swear to…" I paused and caught my breath, "what are you doing here?"

"I just came to check and make sure they finished the job," he pushed away from the car and stepped closer to me, my grip on the spectrum tightened, but he stopped just out of knife point reach and glanced down at the blade. "I'll have to tell Jones that he did quite the job on the blade. If you intended it for me, sorry to disappoint you Love, but you'd never have gotten it past the leather, but since most demons can't see the rune work, he must have known you and I would have some sort of exchange while it was still in your possession."

"What are you talking about?" It should have been more of "why wasn't I shocked that Jones' name had left Crowley's lips" but apparently, it didn't surprise me much. "Look, Fergus, if you're trying to tell me that Jones is working your side of the line, that's fine, it's whatever. He's never done me wrong and he's kept me safe, even from the asshats you had stashed outside my house, so, just go away."

"Fine," he gave a little shrug and smiled, but looked me in the eyes before turning away, "the pact still holds, Kitten, no harm shall come to you."

"Yeah," I whispered and watched him turn his back to me, my fingers tightened on it, and I took a deep breath, "I know."

With that he faded into the shadows, he didn't pop out of existence, didn't move with the sound of wings like Cas did, but just faded. With a sigh, I turned and walked into the room. Sam stood by the table, in nothing but his boxers, with his arms crossed over his chest, as I closed the door and leaned against it.

"I just want to sleep," I mumbled and let out a breath. Seeing my frustration, Sam walked over and took my hand, slipped the blade out and set it on the table, and led me back to the bed, where he pulled me down with him.

Wrapped up in those long, thick arms, against the warmth of this body, and the feel of his breath against my head, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the tick of his heart. The way it felt under my ear gave me a certain calm, and slowly I drifted off into some sort of sleep, one that felt as if I were just floating in the darkness and even then, it was the best that I could have hoped for.

The rattling of the door stirred me from the light sleep I had started to come into, a general slow awakening that let my ears hear everything as my body prepared for the day, or a fight, whichever came first. But it was the sudden banging of the door behind me that made me jump and had Sam sitting up in the bed, letting me fall to the mattress from where he had been holding me against his chest. One hand came down, pressed against my lower back, as if trying to tuck me underneath and I heard the distinct sound of the safety pop off on the younger Winchester's firearm.

"Rise and shine, Sammy!" Dean cheered gleefully.

"Jesus, Dean!" Sam groaned, I heard the clank of the gun on the nightstand and Sam flopped back down in the bed beside me. I prayed that it had been at least four hours since Crowley's unscheduled visit otherwise I was planning on really giving the green-eyed one a run for his money. "What the hell, Man?"

"Listen, it's breakfast, I'm up, Danni's awake and I want to eat, so get Miss Tiny Tush there out of bed and let's go." Sam grabbed the pillow that had fallen beside the bed and tossed it at his brother, but I heard Dean's maniacal laugh and the door slam shut before the pillow hit the table.

Sam leaned down and kissed the side of my head, started to trail it down where he moved my hair and his lips rested against the red mark he had left the night before, putting a little bit of pressure on hit, which elicited a moan from me, despite my best efforts.

"If you start, we're not making it to food," I grumbled but tucked myself up against him as he continued to brush over that one spot, his hand spread out on my back and traveled lower to the curve of my ass, until he could hook my knee over his hip. "Sam!"

I wanted it to be a growl, a warning to stop but hell, who was I to stop the man when he was in the mood. I closed my eyes, let him roll me back on the mattress, he wanted weight pressed down on me as he skillfully removed the panties I had warn to bed, screw the tank.

It was soft, the way that he moved, positioning everything just right so that when I was heated enough from his kiss alone, which didn't take me long with the way he teased, he slipped right in. I gasped at the feeling of him stretching me around him, but it turned to some low whimper as he pressed further and withdrew just enough to make me want more.

I followed his movements, trying to keep the connection with his mouth as his body found a slow, torturous pace that let me feel every inch of him, and the sheer pleasure as he hit the perfect spot. I felt the smile cross his lips when I pulled back a little and cried out, because his tease of it became relentless, until my nails dug into his skin and I had no choice but to release his kiss in order to breath, and try to keep the noises down through the thin walls.

"Let them hear it, baby," Sam teased, the smile in his voice and that was all it took, just that deep, sexy lust-filled voice to put me over the edge and I grabbed the edge of the mattress above me as I came undone.

"SAM!" I hissed through clenched teeth as he laughed and I felt him swell, riding the same wave I was until we were both gasping for air. He didn't _roll_ off me, in fact he stayed very much attached at the hips, but he grabbed the pillow and tucked it under his head, moving some of his upper frame from my smaller one in order to let me catch my heart. I smiled as I turned my head to the side and watched him close his eyes, a grin playing on his lips. "You know this means we're going to have to shower _again_ before we even make it out the door to have food."

"Mmm, shower sex," he mumbled low and I felt him twitch inside me.

"Stop!" I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in days and felt him move his hips just a bit, as he got comfortable. "You know your brother is going to be pounding on that door in five minutes."

"Don't care," Sam whispered as his eyes closed and he pulled me closer, his right arm tucking under my shoulder so that his lips touched my neck.

"I do, I'm actually hungry for once, and I need coffee, and pancakes." I whined and listened to him sigh, but as I trailed my hand from his back lower to where the curve of his hips were, I heard him whimper against me. "Are you going to get up so we can go to breakfast?"

"Keep your hand moving that way and I'm getting up, but you're missing a lot more than just breakfast," he teased and slowly pushed himself up to his hands as he let me escape from under him with a soft kiss on the lips.

I smiled at him as he grabbed the pillow I had used and curled up with it, burying his face into the white pillowcase. I shook my head, grabbed some clothes and headed into the shower, loving the fact that Sam was laying in the bed just outside the door.

Breakfast was at a little place in Old Town Winchester called The Hideaway Café, a little spot hidden on the main historic street in town, and they had the most amazing coffee. I was so impressed by it that the fact that I couldn't have the pancakes I had been craving was completely forgotten, especially when I took a bite of the bagel with cream cheese.

Dean sat beside me, making eyes at Danni, who was rolling hers over the top of her cup, Sam sat across from me, his feet locked around mine as we playfully smiled at each other and Cas sat to my right, his hands in his lap as he looked over the patrons in the building. Dean was going over the papers that John had included with the letter as Sam ticked away at the laptop. I was just enjoying the moment of peace when I heard the word I really had hoped to avoid that morning.

"Huh," Sam said, and I shook my head, because you know it was case related when that boy sat anywhere near a computer and said _that_ one little word.

"I'm so going to regret this, but," Dean spoke up, and looked at me than at his brother while he lifted his coffee cup, "whatcha got?"

"Well, according to the news this morning, there was another M/S last night on the other side of town." Sam read, but it was the confused look in his eyes that had me shaking my head. "So, get this," and Dean rolled his eyes, "the couple had been downtown searching the antique shops after stopping at the Jordan Springs Estate. The owner of the shop said that he recognized the couple who had come in looking for a specific piece in a collection handed over by the owners of the estate. He stated that the couple had been cheerful and excited that he was able to find out more information about the piece in question until they started asking about an ornate mirror, at which point they became frantic and angry. The mirror was found completely destroyed yesterday morning and the couple hadn't returned to pick up the item they had purchased."

"So, what? The mirror's juju still worked after it was "destroyed?" Dean said and went to take a sip of his coffee, but looked down at the empty mug.

I grinned at Cas, who looked amused that he had managed to switch out Dean's cup with his, but the older Winchester had seen the way we exchanged smile and snatched his cup back with a dirty look.

"It seems that the magic wasn't just in the reflection," Cas added and glanced at the way my cup was still half-full, which made me put my hand over the top of it. "If the magic remained until the spell was complete than that would explain why I had an adverse reaction to it and why this couple also continued to act under its influence."

"Any idea what "piece" they were nosing into?" I questioned, and watched him turn the computer around, but there was nothing much except a shot of the mirror and the way that the glass had fallen onto the ground. I shook my head, looking over the photo a second time before sitting back. Danni leaned in closer to Sam as he continued to scroll through the articles on the sight. "What kind of place would send someone looking for a piece of antique anything?"

"Thought I was the only one that caught that funny little tidbit," Danni spoke up and stopped Sam's moving thumb as he came up to another article. "This one says the same thing, it was the couple that Sam and I had stopped at the night before. They were sent looking to find a sterling silver hairbrush."

"Well, that one they got, but it makes me wonder," I pulled out my phone and dialed up Carol's number, putting her on speaker, I turned it down just enough so that the five of us could hear her but not the rest of the café.

"Hey, Ali, what's going on?" Carol said with a smile.

"Hey Carol, you're on speaker, and we've got the whole Scooby gang here, just so you know," I answered and listened to her giggle.

"You mean Sam and Dean are with you?" I watched Danni shake her head, but the grin rose on her lips. "Oh, my God, hi guys."

"Hi Carol," Sam replied.

"Hey, what's up?" Dean grumbled as he brought his coffee up again, trying to back out of the conversation.

"Cas is here as well," I looked over at the quiet angel and raised an eyebrow as he gave me a dry look.

"Cas? Really?"

"Hello, Carol," Castiel greeted and we listened to the woman on the other end squeal in delight.

"Okay, okay, keep it together!" I scolded playfully. "We need your help."

"Um," she said softly as she collected herself. "Okay, shoot, I'm ready."

"I need you to get into the main server at the Jordan Springs Estate historical sight and get me a list of all the items donated or sold to any local and regional antique shops." I requested and listened to her type away on the computer. "They would mainly be obscure items, I'm sure. One boudoir mirror and a silver hairbrush were on the list, but we have some questions about what else they might have gotten rid of."

"It might take me a little bit, but I'm sure I can hunt it down." She replied but suddenly cleared her throat. "Hubby just pulled in, I will work on this during lunch, unless you need it right away."

"No, you have time with him and when you're set, send it my way." I sighed and looked up at Danni, the husband being home so early was never really a good sign. "Carol, be safe."

"Happy hunting," she said with a grin in her voice. "Call you as soon as I know anything."

"Thanks Cas," Danni replied and Castiel looked up at her, but I put my hand on his and shook my head, quieting the comment he was going to make.

"Yeah, I will definitely be in touch." She said quickly. "Bye!" And the phone went dead.

"Why would I not like the fact that she hung up the phone that quickly?" Castiel questioned, and Danni and I just gave each other a look before we went back to our beverages, leaving his question unanswered.

"So," I answered, finishing the bite I had taken of the bagel in my mouth before I continued, "plan of action, we check out the antique store and inquire into the item that the couple purchased but never picked up," I started but looked down when my phone beeped. Dean tried to look over my shoulder as I checked out the text message, "or we could scratch that and go to Jordan Springs to check out what's still there from the list Carol just sent me."

"She sent you a list?" Sam questioned holding out a hand, one that I placed the phone into, "already?"

"Well, she does what she has to and gets things done, I guess." I smiled, proud of our northern friend.

"Huh." Sam raised a brow, impressed and I reached under the table to run my fingers up his thigh.

His eyes peeked up over the top of the computer, darkening with the just the feel of my fingers, but I had to touch him, he was too far away, Dean was too near and the older brother's leg was against mine. The strange part was, Dean's touching, while calming, just made me need to make contact more with Sam.

The waitress came over, and Dean moved back, his shoulder pressing against me as he made way for her to pour without spilling it on him, but this action only made me tighten my hold on Sam. I watched the man I love stare at me with concern and suddenly he gave a small gesture, as if he wanted to leave. With a sigh, I nodded and stood from the chair.

"I'll be back," I stated and slid out from behind them.

"You want anyone to go with?" Danni questioned my abrupt decision.

"No, I'm pretty sure I don't need a hand, or a guard to go to the bathroom." I smiled but grabbed the cell from Sam, winking at him, as I stuffed it in my pocket and made my way towards the bathroom. Glancing back over at the table, I ducked out the door and headed up to street level. Just around the side of the building, I pressed against the concrete wall and sighed. It wasn't long before Sam came out, glanced at me as he rounded the corner and came to a stop within arm's grasp from me.

I reached out and grabbed his shirt with both hands, wanting so badly to kiss him but that wasn't why I agreed to come out here. Sam's fingers traced over my face before his hands landed on my neck, forming to fit the space that it covered, from my chin to my shoulder.

"Are you okay, you look a bit anxious?" He asked softly and I shook my head. With a deep breath, I tried to concentrate, to understand what I was feeling. "Ali, it's me, nothing you say is going to upset me, so just let it out."

"It's Dean," and I watched as he blinked, but there was no jealousy there. "When he touched me… okay that's not the word, his leg was against my thigh, his shoulder on mine and despite the way it feels, which is the way it always has, like grounding, I wanted to punch him."

Sam smiled and licked his lips, "you wanted to punch Dean?" I rolled my eyes at the fact that he was getting such a kick out of this, "and it's upsetting you?"

"I still feel it, Sam!" I tried to get the words out. "I still feel the darkness, the build-up, and when people get angry, I feel the air thicken and… yeah, for some reason I wanted to punch Dean, like… I don't know."

"Hey," he smiled, placing his other hand down on me, and his thumbs tilted up my chin, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, and Dean, sweetheart, he's just being Dean."

"I know, but I can't help think about Danni and how she must feel with this connection, with this whole thing." I leaned into his touch, letting the smell of him just wash over him. "I'm going to try and stay away, and I need your help to do it."

"Oh, I can help," he teased as he stepped closer, lowering to me as I stepped up on my toes. His lips were a breath away from mine as I smile. "I'm pretty sure I could tie you to the bed and do what I want with you, and you wouldn't even argue, that would keep you away from him."

"And what would this being tied up entail?" I laughed as his mouth brushed mine, and then he moved them to caress my cheek before settling by my ear.

"A whole lot of this," his tongue flicked out just touching my earlobe, and a shiver passed through me, before he quickly broke contact and his heat pulled away. I looked at him, red faced and needy and he wiggled his eyebrows at me. "See, totally helped with it, right?"

"Jerk!" I smiled as he released my neck and took my hand.

"I know," he winked and kissed me quickly but lingered too close once again, "but I love you."

"I love you too," I grinned like a little girl and stole my own kiss, "but that doesn't change the fact that you're a jerk."

Sam gave me just a little grin as he tugged on my hand and pulled me down towards the café. Just before we entered the building, the wash of thick air swirled around me, and I stopped, which in turn stopped him from moving and he looked back at me. I followed the feeling, the way the air seemed to move in a certain direction and my eyes fell on the man who stood across the cobblestone streets three buildings down.

My grip grew tighter on Sam as I stared at the man who stood there, the small smirk across his face, his dark eyes as black as night, but not full like a demons, but he radiated something so light that the air turned to jello, thick and hard to breath, or maybe it was just the way I reacted to him.

 _Hello, sweetness, finally glad to see you dressed._ His voice whispered to me as I stared, Sam moving beside me, but even those few steps seemed to take him forever to accomplish.

 _Get the hell out of my head, Zane!_ I growled and forced it at him, thinking about how it would work if I were really there and I could knock that arrogant smirk off his face. He stepped back as the thought hit him, just a little bit of a stumble but I could tell he felt it.

 _You shouldn't have done that, precious._ His grin turned to a sneer and his fingers began to rise as the wind came up, moving through the alley like a wind tunnel and I watched as some of the tables around us started to shake.

"Move!" I snapped at Sam, pushing at his arms as he tried to gather me in his arms. "Move now!"

We were able to duck inside the doorway just as one of the wrought iron tables came flying past us, banging against the cobblestone on the very spot where we had just been standing. I stepped out from behind the wall, looked over at where Zane was casually watching, and shook my head. The grin formed again on his face and he winked.

 _See you soon, beautiful!_ He mocked and suddenly was gone.

Sam came out, looked over at where he had been standing and I took a deep breath. It wasn't over, in fact, him being in my head was far from over. This was just the beginning, and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I got angry. Sam's hand slipped around my waist as I closed my eyes, reigned in the emotions and let him tuck me up against him before bringing me inside.

Dean looked up at us as we approached, Cas stood up and I watched his nose crinkle. Yeah, I smelled like demon again, and with a sigh I sat down and waited as the waitress refilled my cup. Sam's legs tucked around mine once more and the two of us said nothing about the encounter outside, not that I believe Sam had seen anything and I began to wonder if this was all in my head. If the cracks that Crowley had mentioned weren't always there, if I had always been just a little off, and if the demon in my head, was just that, in my head.

I swallowed hard and looked at the people around me. I closed my eyes and gathered my strength because I knew something bad was coming, something really, really bad.


	47. DH God Killer - 14

**Chapter 14**

Our plan of action was simple, get into Jordan Springs, take a look around, get the info we needed and get the hell out of there but you know what they say about plans, even the most well laid ones. With my head not anywhere close to in the game, I found the air around the Estate to be just a little energized for my taste.

Even Cas himself seemed a little off. I watched as he looked around, as if trying to pinpoint where the feeling was coming from before I walked over and stood by him, my hands tucked in the jacket of my coat. We had finally gotten him out of the suit and into a pair of jeans, tee-shirt and one of Dean's canvas jackets, which still hung on loose on him since he wasn't as big as Dean. Cas looked… normal

"You're not going to be able to find it, you know, it's everywhere around here." I sighed and listened to the silence as he stared out at the grounds.

"Possibly not, but there is definitely something here that strikes me as… well, it strikes me." He replied and glanced in my direction. "The wall, is it holding?"

"Not in the slightest," I took a deep breath and slowly released it. "I saw him today, Zadimus, _Zane,_ whatever he calls himself, in the middle of Old Town, he moved the tables, brought the wind and could have killed Sam and I." I looked up at Cas, whose blue eyes were staring down at me, "what's his game plan?"

"I've been cut off from heaven for a while now, I can't really tell you much about what is known about him except what I've already told you, and what you know from Hollister. We know nothing of the real course of this event, Ali, I'm sorry that I can't help you more." Cas sighed, his hand coming over to rest on my opposite shoulder, as if he were about to give me a squeeze, but I could feel the light in him and it stung. Hissing, I stepped away and caught my breath, as if I had just been electrocuted. He tilted his head just a bit and gave me a curious look. "Your eyes are glowing."

"So are yours." I whispered staring up at him. I watched as his faded, but he continued to stare as he reached out a hand to me, but I jumped back quickly. "That probably wouldn't be the best idea."

"This is very strange," Cas said softly as he turned completely towards me and closed the distance so that I had to look up at him. "Most humans don't glow when touched by an angel, in fact most creatures aren't able to syphon off the energy needed to create that effect."

"Cas, I'm not a science project," I told him as I took a step back, as his hand began to rise. "Touch me and I'll shoot you in the foot!"

"I believe you're right, that it's not the best idea." He answered as he closed his fingers into a fist and placed it by his side. "What do you feel?"

"Like I'm about to jump out of my skin, like when you touched me all I felt was a shock, and when Dean touched me, it was… It was like sandpaper." I found myself growing more irritated by the thought of being touched but then again, I thought of Sam, how I wanted him, needed him, how easy it was to give into him.

"He touches your darkness, I told you that before." Cas stated, our conversation low enough to still stay between us and I looked up at him in shock. "Sam. You said his name out loud, I told you that his darkness will feed of you."

"So, Dean's what… light? Like Danni?"

"Grounding, more than light, it seems." Cas sighed, "Have you touched Danni? Since the ritual?"

"No, I don't go around touching people, Cas, that's just creepy." I sighed and rubbed my forehead, the angel had me bouncing all over the place in my head, like a ball trapped in a room, forever bouncing and I couldn't catch my thoughts. "God, I wish this would stop."

"Hey?" Sam whispered, his thumb running over my neck and I looked up at Cas quickly, hoping my eyes had stopped glowing. His touch silenced everything, a strange turn of events since usually that was what Dean's did to me, but I licked my lips and tried to reach out and feel something, anything. "So, we got the stuff we need to get inside. Dean and Danni are talking to the head of security."

"What are we going in as this time?" I smiled up at him, praying that my eyes were the right color blue, and watched as he smiled down at me before kissing me softly on the lips.

"College students." He grinned.

"You do realize I'm the mother of an eighteen-year-old, there is no way in hell we're college students." I laughed and watched as he just gave me that look, that one little "trust me" grin that had me shaking my head and going with the flow.

"Okay, so more like Graduate Studies at the Smithsonian," Sam shrugged as he took my hand and I rolled my eyes towards Cas as the angel followed.

"I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut and follow your lead, big boy." I laughed and gave his fingers a squeeze. Sam gave me a sly grin, shook his head a bit and led us on to meet up with Danni and Dean but I glanced back at Cas, who still seemed distracted, this time his attention was focused on me.

The inside of the building was just as charged as the outside, but the energy was just a little different. It was as if two powers were battling each other for control over the place, and it struck me as strange that I seemed to be the only one affected. I kept seeing Cas reach out for me from the corner of my eyes and I shrunk away, maybe I wasn't the only one feeling it if the angel decided that being too close wasn't close enough.

Sam kept a firm grip on my hand, Danni kept looking back as Dean took up the rear, and I closed my eyes, praying for patience since I could almost hear him touching everything we past. With a quick glance back, I caught him running his fingers over the naked statue of a woman holding a water jug. His eyes came up just in time to see mine and he tucked his hands behind his back, stepping up to the group.

The man droned on forever, but Sam and Danni were curious about the past. I, for one, just wanted to know where the damn energy was coming from. When we stopped that the entrance of the ballroom, a large wide open space that made me step back, I could feel my heart begin to race. Dean pushed past me to get a closer look, rubbing against me, which made the sandpaper feeling of his arm against mine grow and I found myself grinding my teeth.

If Dean's touch did that to me, what the the hell would Danni's do. I shook it off, released Sam's hand and took a step further back from the group. Sam glanced back at me as I gave him a wink and waved at him to go on, while I leaned against the doorway. Cas also turned back, but I shook my head at his worried brow and watched as they moved on.

Biting my lip, I took one step into the room while the others were busy looking at the walls that were covered with paintings, but as soon as my foot hit the floor everything started to spin. It was as if a vortex had opened up and I was being sucked into the middle of the room. Grasping at the door frame, I literally pulled myself out of the room and ducked around the corner, placing my back to the busy wallpaper.

Sweat seemed to pour from me as I stood there, I had to get out of that house, had to move, had to get away from the power, but then I thought about it. What if the power wasn't coming from just the ballroom, what if it was coming from underneath it.

Dean stepped by me, not even noticing that I was pressed against the wall and I watched as he stopped at a door, somewhere around where I had seen him touching the statue. He glanced back and forth, finally noticing me there and his eyes narrowed as his fingers went to the handle on the door, giving it a little bit of a twist, he shook his head and gestured for me to come towards him.

With a deep breath, I pushed away from the wall and made my way over. With me blocking the view of the ballroom, he picked the old lock that kept the door closed but then he licked his lips, stood up straight and looked at me.

"What are you doing out here alone?" He questioned, his voice was little more than a whisper.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," I answered and he took a breath, knowing that I was hiding something from him and not liking it. His hand reached out, a motion I jumped back from, which definitely didn't go unnoticed, but he flicked at the small plastic hook on the strap of my backpack.

"Expecting the Boogie Man?" he questioned with a raised brow as I reached over and flicked at the gun hidden beneath his shirt.

"Expecting a witch?" I retorted and watch him give in as he looked around, opened the door and grabbed my wrist. The sandpaper feeling seemed to cloud my judgement as he pulled me onto the landing that went to the basement stairs. Huh, guess I wasn't the only one with the same thought.

Dean closed the door quietly, clicked on the flashlight and stopped to look at me as I backed up against the wall again, keeping my distance from him. He reached out, his lips parted and he touched the side of my cheek with the back of his finger, a touch that I needed but a feeling I cringed from.

"What's the matter with you?" I closed my eyes, trying hard not to look at him but that finger cuffed the underside of my chin and he turned my head. "Hey, Ali," his voice was calming, which seemed to radiate through to his touch, which didn't seem so scratchy anymore, "talk to me."

"It hurts when you touch me," I whispered, ashamed that it felt that way, that it came out that way and his finger fell, but I caught it in my hand before he could fist it up, and I swallowed hard before looking into his eyes. "Since last night, everyone's touch hurts, everyone but Sam and I have no idea why. I need you, Dean, but it's like your light hurts."

"I'm sorry, have you met me?" He snarked and shook his head, "there's no light in here, Ali."

"You say that, but I can feel it," I smiled and grabbed his other hand, letting him flow into me, like I could just feel his energy and it was like Cas but not as strong. "It's why you do what you do to me, why I feel so safe around you, your light to my darkness, but it's also your serenity to my chaos. It makes it more wild and only Sam seems to bring that down."

"What about Danni?" He whispered and I took a deep breath, letting his hand go until I only held the top of his fingers.

"I don't know, I haven't tried it yet," I let him go, placed a hand on his heart and closed my eyes, "I don't want to lose you, Dean."

"Not going to happen, Kid, not while I'm around," he sighed and kissed my forehead quickly before he turned to the darkness of the stairway, his flashlight stopping in the blackness. "Oh, well this is going to be so much fun."

Dean found the bottom of the stairs before I made it halfway down, the further I went into the basement, the more overwhelming it became. Dean looked back, his face full of concern as I grabbed the railing and finally sat down on the stairs.

"Whatever it is, it's coming from down here," I whispered and blinked back the lethargic feeling that was suddenly taking over my legs. When it spread up to my body, and to my eyes, I fought to keep them open.

"Al!" Dean's voice rang through the fog and as soon as his hands touched my face, I was wide awake. "Stay with me, Kid, you can't be falling asleep down here."

I nodded, took hold of his hand, and let him lead me into the darkness, the gun and flashlight balanced skillfully in one of his hands. I drew the Walther from the back of my jeans and kept my eye and ear opened to the noises around me. Finally, he turned, gestured his head to the strange wrought iron gate and looked down at my hand. I released him long enough for him to swing the well-oiled gate open and give me a confused look.

Nope, that couldn't be good.

Taking a deep breath, he took my hand once again and the two of us stepped into the tunnel that the gate had blocked. We walked on for what seemed like forever, and that was when I noticed the smell, and covered my nose with the back of my hand.

Death permeated the air, and Dean choked a little, pulled his tee-shirt up and covered his nose. He flashed the light around the room before settling on the pile of bodies that were in the corner. Stepping up, instead of away, he brought the light down on one of the unknown faces of the decomposing figure. I saw the muscles bunch under his shirt as he crouched down before turning back to me, shining the light over my body and he backed up.

"What are they? I mean who are they?" I questioned as he shook his head.

"Just people, looks like food for something, but just people." He sighed and his eye flickered around the rest of the room. There were shelves everywhere, empty spaces where things belonged that weren't there anymore and I watched as his eyes locked on one specific area of the room. Following his gaze, I turned and looked at the large empty spot. "I think I found out where our little cursed items are coming from. They aren't storing them in a basement…"

"They're taking them from a tomb." I finished and walked over to where the emptiness was, looked at the placard on the wall and sighed. It was a grave marker, and down on the floor in front of it was the shape of the legs from the mirror in the shop. "These weren't the owners listed on the deeds to the original Sulfur Springs."

"No kidding," he replied and still scanned the area, "they were probably the ones that the demons possessed just to get into this place." I listened to his breathing as he tried to keep it regulated through the shirt but I could tell that it was only increasing, Dean was getting worried. "This is bad, Ali, really bad."

"Yeah, you ain't kidding." I moved out of the room, turned and glanced at the tunnels, totally turned around, I had no idea where we were. "Ah, Dean," I whispered as he stepped up behind me, his hand touching my hip lightly, "I think we're lost."

"No way," he chuckled, but I watched the light move behind me, going up one side of the hall down to the other, and the chuckle disappeared, "no freaking way!"

"Yeah, that's what I thought too." I whispered and felt him step out past me.

I had never seen Dean confused, never seen him so turned around but at that moment, there was nothing that I could do for him, because I was the exact same way. I watched the darkness creep in around his eyes, forcing back the terror and the confusion and the man that I met when this all began stared at me from behind those green eyes. This Dean, this hard ass, dark and dangerous man whose eyes were burning into me, this was the Dean that I knew.

"Okay, new plan," he stated, reaching out to take my hand, not that we had an old plan to begin with, but he tugged me out and we started down the hall headed towards the left. He released me as we walked, pulled his cell from the back of his jeans and lit up the screen. "Crap, there's no service down here."

"Mine either," I sighed, having mimicked his move when I saw what his thought process was. "So, no signal, no way to get ahold of the others and apparently, we're lost, there has to be something else we can do to get them to pay attention."

"Cas," Dean whispered.

"Right, the one who hasn't been on angel radio in years, only seems to answer to Danni and apparently thinks I'm some new toy." I grumbled out and watched him stop before he turned to me, his light illuminating on me as I turned my head away from it. "What?"

"What's your deal?" He snapped and this caught my attention.

"What's my…" I rubbed my forehead, "my deal about what, Dean?"

"You and Cas and Danni, you were all lying to me this whole time," he stated and I nodded.

"Yeah, we were," I shrugged. "We were working together to figure out our family line, Cas was going back in time to try to find something, anything that would connect the dots, to make it make sense, but you know what, it didn't work, because this whole thing is a pile of bull crap!"

"You think that gives you the right to lie to me?" He stepped forward and suddenly I could feel the power radiating off of him, like a wave of darkness and I found myself looking around, trying to find something, anything that would have set him off. "You were hunting and didn't even tell me. You and Danni were meeting in secret, with _Cas_ , without bothering to even acknowledge the fact that I might want to know, that I might need to know?"

"Why would you need to know, Dean? You had Danni right there with you, there was no need for you to know anything that was going on with me." I watched as his lips went tight and he shook his head.

"Really?" He used his empty hand to run along his chin before he leaned in close enough that I could feel the warmth of his body. "You think that little of yourself that after all we had been through I wouldn't have given a damn to know the fact that you were putting yourself in danger, that I wouldn't care that you were in harm's way?"

"I told you to protect her!" I snapped and back away, but he grabbed the strap to my bag, holding me in place.

"And I told you that I would always protect you no matter what, that it was you first."

"And that was your first mistake." I slapped his hand away and moved past him, headed down the tunnel.

I heard him growl and then the sound of his boots following as I dug my own flashlight out of the side pocket of the bag. I knew something was going on with him, that he would have never said that if something hadn't been affecting him because _me first_ hadn't come into play since the vampires and he had spent the last two months protecting Danni like I had told him to do.

We walked on in silence for what seemed like forever, as the ground beneath our feet grew soggy and the smell in the air turned to rotten eggs. We were close to the springs, closer than I wanted to be and when I switched out my gun for the spectrum at my hip, I felt Dean's hand on the small of my back, under the weight of the pack.

"Do you feel that?" I whispered, sensing the change in the air.

"I feel some nasty water sinking into my boots, and I feel the damn roots above my head, other than that, I got nothing," he whispered, his voice close enough that if I turned my head just a little, I would be pressing against his cheek.

"Something's coming," I shook as I spoke the words but I could hear it then, now that we were standing still, the noises that were fast approaching behind us. Dean and I both looked back, making out the sounds of footfalls and he took my hand once more. "Dean?"

"Run!" He slipped past me and the two of us started to run through the darkened tunnel, the lights that we tried to keep in front of us didn't work and I know that I fell several times, not on anything hard but because the ground was so soft.

We didn't see the dead end coming, didn't notice that the darkness turned into a thick wooden wall, not until the two of us were crashing through it and tumbling down onto the cold concrete floor of some useless, and abandoned building.

We stood the best we could, looked for a way out, wanted to run again but there was no time, nothing else to do to escape whatever was following us and Dean tucked me behind him, his demon blade pulled from the sheath that was tucked into the inside pocket of his flannel. I never wondered until then why he always wore one, but I knew now, because who would suspect that you had a demon killing weapon hidden away in some unsuspecting place.

"Dean," I started as the noise drew closer, "I'm sorry."

"Don't start with that "let's make amends" crap, no one's dying here." He snapped at me as he looked back over his shoulder.

"You didn't even hear what I was sorry for," I smiled and watched as he shrugged.

"Don't care, apology not accepted." He widened his stance, his arm came up as if it were some sort of magical barrier that I couldn't pass and I smiled.

"Why do you need to be such a child?" I grinned as I watched the side of his face, a small smile playing on the corner of his lips.

"It's part of my boyish charm," he answered and he glanced at me, "get ready, whatever it is, it's coming in fast."

I held my breath, held my spectrum close, took the bag from my shoulder and tossed it across the room, freeing myself of the weight, and as we stood there waiting on all hell to break loose, I thought of Sam, of how much I hadn't told him, I thought of Danni and the way that I had left it with her and how I could mend what I felt I had broken and I thought of Cas, the angel that had done so much to protect me. I thought of my children, of them growing up without a mother and then I thought of Dean, about how he grew up without one, how he had become the fighter that stood solidly in front of me without a second though to his own health.

I thought about all of these things and I thought of more, but the one thing I never touched on, the one little thing that slipped my mind was the feeling that started at the back of my neck, the thickness in the air and the way that something around me circled, like a vulture closing in to pick the meat off the kill.

I straightened up, my lips parted as the air became almost paste and I turned to look in the direction of the doorway, the only way that we could see as an out but never made it to. He stood there, the man from the street, the one from the hotel room, the voice in my head.

He stood there, in all his smugness, in jeans and a tee-shirt, looking like a normal human, and he smiled at me, a crooked, wide smile that told me one thing, he was evil incarnate and he was there to watch.

I reached out to tug on Dean's shirt, but the man was focused on what was coming in front of us and not what was standing behind us. Turning, I put my back to him, pressed up against him, my blade at the ready and I waited, staring at Zane through narrowed eyes. Whatever was coming down that tunnel was nothing compared to what was coming from the direction of the thing in the doorway.

Zane smiled, took a step forward and literally faded into non-existence. My heart raced as I looked around the room trying to locate where he had gone by the energy that surrounded me, that was until the first sounds of a growl that came from the man I was pressed against. I turned just in time to see four demons pile through the door, their black eyes and grey faces took my breath away, but it was the four that appeared before me, as if Zane had been blocking the fact that they were approaching, that nearly caught me off guard.

"How many do you have?" I questioned and my hand fumbled to grip tighter on anything I could hold, finally gripping the loose part of the fabric near his thigh.

"I have four, what do you got?" He answered his fingers coming down, running along the back of my hand. I felt the surge of energy from him, as if he had pushed it knowing what it would do to me and my body began to vibrate with it.

"By my count, four." I released him, grabbed the boot knife from where it was strapped on my ankle and felt him reach for the colt at his back. "Are we waiting for them to get ontop of us, or are we running headlong?"

"Headlong sounds good to me," he replied and I put my head back against him, letting him know that I agreed. "On the count of three, keep your back to me, stay close."

"Got it,"

"One," he said softly.

"Two," I breath out.

"Three," his voice vibrated through me and he fired off a shot.

That was it, everything seemed to happen in a flash. The demons were on me, they were on Dean and the two of us were doing the job that needed to be done, no matter who they inhabited. I heard one go down behind me, just as I drove the spectrum into the one before me. Two attacked at once and I lost sight of Dean. I slashed as I moved, losing the heat from my back and I knew that it had been their strategy to do just that.

The air thickened the more I fought, the angrier I got. I heard Dean go flying across the room and smash into a wall. Turning, I watched one of the demons he had been fighting move to hover over him, my heart skipped, my world started to blacken and I let that power in me take over.

Before I knew it, I was jabbing the end of the spectrum up and through the demon's back. I thought that would be it, that it would just do what it normally did, spark'em up and dust'em out, but this time, right before the end, I felt a strange tingle in my hand, the one that held the blade and the heat raced up my arm. Just like Cas, I took the evil from this one, and I was flying high on it as it raced through me.

Keeping it locked down, I watched my world turn to black. I could see the way that the blood flowed through each of them, and the strange pattern of darkness that I had seen only in Sam. Looking down at Dean, the only thing flowing through him was a bright light in his veins and I smiled. How could he not know just how good he was under all that fight. I knew he was _dark,_ and by that I mean dark in a way unlike the man I thought I knew. He was harder, dangerous but not demonic and evil, not like the bastards before me.

Dean groaned in pain, turning over as another came at me, I made sure that his blade was close enough to his hand before I started swinging and when the spectrum entered another one of the bodies before me, when I ripped it up and saw the spark of demon leave them, I watched my vision close just a bit more.

"ALI!" Dean screamed from behind me, and I twirled on the ball of my foot, swinging with just enough force to connect with the man that was standing there, his knife above his head, and with that next kill, I saw nothing but Dean's shocked face, while he got to his feet, as the world I knew turned to black.


	48. DH God Killers-15

**A little bit of a warning going into this one. Some might consider this kind of intense so be aware.**

 **Chapter 15**

Imagine if you will, standing outside yourself, watching everything that happened to you as if you were just an observer, just another face in the crowd, a ringside seat to all the action that you can handle. But you can feel every ounce of pain, every hint of anger and rampant rage that flowed through your system, and then it would fade, as if nothing had ever happened, right before coming at you once again full blast.

That's what I was doing suddenly, watching from the outside. Standing apart from myself, and I mean literally. The monster inside me had kicked me out, broken down the walls that Sam and Cas had tried so hard to put up and my spirit now seemed to be free floating. I watched with confusion as I suddenly stood across the room as my body welded that spectrum blade like a pro, not that I wasn't, but the fluid motions as it dipped into and slashed across the demons Dean and I had been fighting together made it look like a dance.

There were eight by my count, but between the two of us, or the two of them, the process of dispatching them was almost too quick and easy, and it occurred to me why. I watched as my body turned, the bright blueness of my eyes made me think of an angel, the way their grace could grow, like a puffed-up chest, show of strength and that animated thing moved towards Dean, who was just now yanking the demon blade from the chest of one of the fallen. But the black eyes, the demon's darkness, shown behind them, as if the two were wrestling with each other for domination… in my body.

Dean looked up, wiped his lip with the back of his hand, smearing the blood that flowed there. And I watched him stop, his eyes narrowed as he stared at me… at the demon that wore me, because I could see his true face.

Zane, or Zadimus was now using me as a meat suit, and there was nothing I could do about it, at least… My body approached Dean, which was weird to watch when I was standing right beside him. I twirled the spectrum blade in my hand, getting ready to strike but being oh so casual about it, and smiled as Dean stood straight and watched.

"Ali?" Dean whispered and gave me the once over, before his face went angry and protective. "Not Ali!" he growled and readied the demon blade.

"Oh, Dean, please don't kill me." I whispered to myself, not that he could hear me because, yeah ghost, what was up with that?"

"You're not going to use that, Winchester," Zane's voice gave mine just a little bit of that accent that I wasn't positive of, but reminded me of Enzo from the Vampire Diaries. "You're not going to hurt your precious girl."

"What are you doing to her, you son of a bitch?" Dean growled, and I stepped up closer to him. Reaching out, an action that I thought was useless, I touched his shoulder and suddenly his head snapped around, looking down at where my fingers rested on his shirt. His voice was just a faint whisper. "Ali?"

I gave him a squeeze, happy that he could feel me at least and his anger flared as he turned back to the body before him to the thing that possessed me. His eyes narrowed but I watched him lower the blade.

"I will exorcise your ass straight back to hell if you don't get out of her right now!" The demon just laughed at this statement, shook its head and continued to swing that blade.

"I'm not going to hurt her, Winchester, I need her." The voice was annoying and grating on my nerves.

"Need her for what?" Dean was either stalling or had completely ignored the whole conversation about the blades. I was going with stalling.

"Really, you humans can't all be that stupid." It said exasperated, and rolled its eyes. "She is the darkness, you know, the one that starts the end, the one that brings about everything. Your little piece is the light, guided by the angels, meant to keep her on this side of the table, however, you and I both know just how dangerous our little Alison can be. That," it pointed at the bodies that lay broken and bloodied on the floor, "that wasn't all me, that was…actually except for the last body, that was all her. All the work of your innocent little… what do you call her? Angel? I'm thinking more demon but that's just me honestly."

"Man, you do like to hear yourself talk," Dean huffed and rolled his eyes. I trailed my hand down his arm, getting a little bit of a sideways glance from him as his focus went back to the thing in front of him. "Is there a point to this little monologue because I'm gonna need Ali back, we're going to need to get out of here?"

"No, no point really," it was close enough now that all it had to do was swing and that blade would be in Dean. I tugged back on his arm but he didn't move. He stood his ground. Pigheaded man, but his focus was necessary to make sure he didn't get stabbed. "I just wanted to formally introduce myself, okay well informally. My name is Zadimus, the one that Ali refers to as Zane, it's just easier that way."

"You could have come in your own suit, you didn't need to hijack Ali." Dean stated and braced his footing the closer that the demon got.

"Oh, but you don't know just how fun it is to be inside her head," it smiled, and it was just as evil of a smile as it could get before it was on top of Dean, the strength of it sending the man back against the wall. I was short but somehow Zane had him locked there, eye to eye, and the glowing orbs scanned over Dean's face while the hand around his neck squeezed. "You should hear the thoughts she's has about you and your brother. Mmm, saucy little thing isn't she?"

The demon closed the distance between them, its mouth a breath away from Dean's who was breathing but struggling to do so. I watched they eyes make contact and the demon tilt its head.

Oh, God, please don't kiss him.

The demon smiled, brushed its lips, my lips, against Dean's and even in this form I felt the shiver. CRAP. I had to do something, but there was no way to know what when I had never been a detached spirit before. The demon backed away and grinned as Dean held his eyes tightly closed.

"See, even you have those thoughts."

"So, call me a typical guy, it happens." Dean snapped and struggled against the hand that held him. "It doesn't change what Ali is to me and I swore that I would protect her, now you can either get out of her or I can make you, your choice."

"I think I might stick around inside for a bit, maybe head back to the motel, try out that moose of a brother of yours, before moving on, or maybe, I'll just start with you."

There was no way I was going to let that happen. I raced forward, however spirits could race, and slammed into my own body, feeling the sudden pull as I was sucked back into my own flesh. The warmth surrounded me, I let out feeling towards my fingers and willed them to release him as I tried to find the rest of my extremities but the one thing I did do was look him straight in the eyes as he stared down at me in shock. I knew the glow was gone, I knew the light had faded and I pleaded up at him, my hand resting up against his chest.

"Dean." My voice, the one without the crappy accent was weak and my grip faltered.

"Ali," it came out as a whisper again and I watched the worry cross his forehead but I could also feel the pull from Zane again, he was coming back.

"Help me!" I begged and watched the conflict in his eyes as suddenly his arm swung up. The blow was powerful, quick and just like that my world went black.

When I was able to pick my head up, I instantly wished I hadn't bothered, as the ache from where his fist had hit clouded my thoughts, until I was able to shake them out. I couldn't move, couldn't find a way off the chair that I knew I was sitting in and looked down at my wrists with a groan. I was zip-tied to the chair, both ankles and both wrists and I could hear the pacing of well-worn boots not all that far away.

Raising my head fully, the worst idea ever by the way, I finally caught sight of him and was able to focus on the man who was tapping his palm with his phone.

"Dean?" was all I could seem to muster as he stopped dead and turned to look at me. I could see the waver in his eyes, the question of did he run over and untie me or wait there for me to start with the demon act. "Oh, my head!"

"You said help you, it was the fastest thing I could think of," he gruffed, apparently not happy with his choice of ways to handle it but I blinked to keep my eyes open.

"You did what you had to," I sighed and watched him get some validation out of it because he was suddenly in front of me. My eyes followed as he crouched down before me, between my separated knees so that he could get in close enough, and his hand reached out to the bruising that was starting on my face. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" He whispered, a bit confused as his fingers traced over the edge of my jaw and I winced at the feeling as he hit the spot that he had aimed for. Hissing at the shock, I closed my eyes, but as he tried to move his hand away, I leaned in toward his fingers.

"Don't!" I pleaded, "the pain keeps me human."

"I'm not going to go around knocking the crap out of you every time you think that assclown is taking over." Dean scolded, but I could hear the smile in his voice. His fingers slipped under my chin, raising it up just a bit. "Hey, don't you go giving up on me now."

"I don't know if I can fight him," I swallowed and opened my eyes enough to see the look of pain on his face, the loss in his eyes, "you have to help me."

"I'm trying, Sweetheart, but I'm coming up a dead end." He took a deep breath in, placed a hand on my knee and closed his eyes, as if trying to keep himself under control. "How hell did he get in you anyway? You have the tattoo."

"I don't know," I felt week, my eyes started to drift closed but that was when it hit me. "Call Jones!"

"Call who?"

"Jones, the hunter," and that was all I could get out for an explanation. Dean moved away, grabbed my backpack and quickly came back over. I had tucked my phone inside, leaving the ringer on loud enough so that I could hear it through the material, and that was exactly what he dug out. "Under the Ware Gun Shop."

"This hunter owns a gun shop?" he questioned, a classic Dean moment where instead of just going with "make the phone call, dummy," he had to question everything.

The ability to stay focused was fading fast and as Dean crouched down in front of me again, his hand instantly went to my thigh, resting his weight there to give me some comfort. He flipped through my contacts and found the gun shop. Once it started to ring, he switched it to speaker.

"Ware Gun Shop, Jones speaking." The older man's voice came over the line.

"Jones, this, ah, this is Dean Winchester," he answered a little unsure.

"Winchester, no shit! I meet your brother before he took off with my finest hunter, called me about some spell ingredients a few days ago. How is the little pain in my ass? Did it work, whatever it was?" I tried to smile at his unbreakable wit but even that was becoming too hard.

"We got a problem," Dean's eyes found mine as he put the phone down on my lap and used both hands to raise my head, trying hard to make eye contact. "Her anti-possession isn't working, she was a sock puppet for a demon not too long ago and we're afraid it's coming back."

"How the hell did that happen? We had those redone and infused with ritual protection magic when she first started hunting for me, I take her safety very seriously." The old man grumbled, and I wanted to smile because he sounded just like Bobby. I heard him sigh. "Alright, Cupcake, where's our girl now?"

I did smile this time when Dean straightened a little at being called Cupcake, but he just let out a sigh and went with it and replied. "Tied to a chair."

"Good boy, smart move," and I watched Dean roll his eyes. It wasn't that Jones as intending to piss Dean off, it was just the way he spoke to everyone. I heard the slamming of books in the background and the rustling of papers before there was a sign on the line. "Okay, gonna sound strange but you got an EMF by chance?"

"Ah?" Dean looked around, trying to see if he could possibly come up with one but there was nothing electric besides our phones.

"Bag," I managed to get out and licked my lips. Yeah, the boy hit me hard enough that I was about to sink back into unconsciousness but I fought it tooth and nail. Dean rummaged through the bag and I wanted to tell him that it was in the front zipper pocket but he found it all on his own.

"Yeah, got one, our little ghost hunter packs a mean to-go bag," I heard the praise in Dean's voice and my fingers twitched, bringing his attention to them. Dean ran a gentle hand on the trapped wrist and sighed.

"She apparently learned it from you because I never taught her that," Jones laughed. "Okay, right, so this is what's going to happen. The tats keep the demon out, but that doesn't mean angels can't jump aboard, so that must be the way that our little mischief makers is doing it, using his angel half. I guessing this is about Zadimus, he would be the only one strong enough to jack Ali with those wards on her."

"Yeah, it was him." The fingers on my arm never ceased their movements as Dean's need for contact grew. "What do we do about it?"

"Nothing you can do," Jones sighed.

"What?" Dean was shocked but I figured it was something like that. Zane was just too powerful to keep out. "She said to call you for help, fat lot of good that did."

"Now, listen boy, don't go getting your panties in a twist, I didn't say that there wasn't something else you couldn't try," Jones snapped back and Dean's hand flattened on mine. "The thing with angels is they need permission or the soul needs to be gone."

"I know all about angel lore, so give me something I can use."

"Well, Ali ain't dead, and she isn't giving permission either, so he has to be pushing her out." There was a sigh on the line and the sound of a book slamming.

"Pushing her out?" Dean whispered and I could see him look at his arm through my fading vision. "She touched me last time, when he was in her, she grabbed my arm."

"Yeah, basically she becomes a detached soul. Standing right next to you but you can't see her, which is where the EMF gets involved. Ali, if you can hear me, this is for you. If he comes back, you jump on that bastard, you try to get him out of you but if you can't, you light up that machine and let Bobby's boy here know that you're still kicking around."

Dean's fingers curled into mine for just a second before he released his hold completely. "Bobby's boy?"

"Son, you don't get around this world without knowing the right people, and Bob Singer was one of the bests. He talked about you and Sam all the time, I just never thought I would get a chance to tell you how proud he was of you, something he made me promise to do before he died." Dean was silent and I heard him take in a quick breath. "Enough of the boo-hoo princess stuff, back to business. Listen once she's detached, you're gonna have to make it fast. There's an old Latin spell for just this sort of issue, but it's not easy."

"Tell me what I got to do, because I'm not letting this son of a bitch have her," Dean growled protectively and I felt his lips on my head, gently pressing in as he let out a breath.

"Right," Jones stated and cleared his throat, "this is what you're going to need..."

And if that wasn't the exact time that my eyes had decided they had enough, that my body had fought and lost, because that was the moment that my world went black, with Dean's lips against me, his warmth washing over the darkness and Jones on the line to walk him through it.

What I remember next was not so much opening my eyes as it was coming into being, just awakening and suddenly I was there, like the darkness opened up and I was standing watching Dean pace back and forth before the "me" in the chair. His face was full of anger, but the demon just smiled at him.

I spotted the EMF on the counter, something that Dean always made his way back too before he turned and made another pass at the prisoner. Yep, I had to get there. My steps were silent but as soon as I got close enough to see it in full view the six red lights on the machine lit up like a Christmas tree. I stood there, because Dean had figured out how to turn off the noise, so I had to wait for him to visibly see the light before I could move away again.

He stopped before the counter, looking at the contraption that was nothing more than wires, a motherboard, some LEDs and an antenna, I'm sure it was more than that, I never really asked but when it worked like a charm and was made by a sixteen-year-old, who was I to question just _how_ it worked. Dean looked around, the fear evident in his eyes and I reached out, not stepping closer and ran my hand down his arm. Instantly his gaze turned down as if watching my hand glide over his shirt, and I watched his breathing increase.

Letting my hand fall away, I watched as he steadied himself, squared his shoulders and turned back to the demon.

"She's here, I can feel her, just like you can." The demon smiled. "Did you feel the way she entered me, kicked me right out and why do you think that is? Hmm? Maybe I was getting to close to her deepest secret."

"Shut up, you son of a bitch!" Dean's voice was even, and I watched as he made his way back to the table, snatching a little vial that looked awfully familiar from the wood before turning back to his pacing.

"You don't want to hear just how hot she is for you?" The demon smiled, "how she gets wet just by feeling your touch. It's a turn-on, you know, when you touch her, why do you think she leans into it, and then she uses it to go back to your brother."

"I swear I will knock your ass out again if you don't shut up!" I moved towards him, away from the EMF and I watched his face drop, but I put both hands on his arm this time, hoping to God that he didn't listen to the thing that occupied my body. That twisted bastard was using our connection to get Dean going. I closed my eyes, hoping Dean wouldn't listen, prayed he didn't believe the lies.

"She wants you both," it grinned, "at the same time. Can you imagine that? Your little angel wrapped between you and your brother," Dean's head snapped in its direction, even as I held onto him for dear life. "I can feel her now," it rubbed its legs together creating a heat that I could feel in this non-corporeal body, dammit, it was trying to get me worked up, but in my head, I could only see the images of Sam. Dean though, he wouldn't know that. "Yeah, she's a little demon alright, wanting you both, lusting after your body, your touch. What are you going to do about it Dean? She's right here, all tied up and at your mercy."

"You Son of a…" Dean moved out of my reach, popped open the vial and splashed it down across its face. I screamed silently as the pain of it ripped through me, just as it did the demon. That was when I knew, not matter what Dean did, I was in for a rough time. The demon laughed as the potion burning the skin.

"No matter what you do to me, she feels it. Every ounce of pain, every punch, every word, she will feel it, so go ahead and do your worst." The demon laughed.

Dean started to recite whatever it was that Jones had given instructions for and instantly the heat spread through my chest, becoming a blinding white light of heat as the demon ground its teeth and smiled.

"Do you even know what you're doing, Winchester? You're going to kill her!"

"No, you bastard, I'm going to save her!"

He continued with the strange exorcism, not the same Rituale Romanum that we usually used, no this one was different and I could make out some of the words, something about angels banishing, something about demons succumbing but it only managed to make the pain worse and I fell to my knees. He had to stop, whatever it was, it wasn't working and it was right, the demon, it was going to kill me.

I crawled over to towards the table as Dean's voice grew deeper, firmer and forceful, unrelenting on the cause and it was all I had not to slip into the darkness again as the demon screamed in pain, but laughed at the same time.

I reached up, pulled myself from the floor to stand by the EMF meter and reached for it, because if Dean could feel me touch him, I could manipulate that blasted machine. I turned on the sound a little switch on the side and listen to it blare through the building like a fire drill, catching the demon by surprise, and Dean, as they both looked in the direction of it, but it was the demon's reaction to it that got my attention.

It was in pain, actual pain, something that I wasn't feeling. The noise, the frequency was doing something to the hold on it, and I wanted Dean to leave it on but he quickly grabbed it and brought it away from me. The demon stopped and grinned as it moved against the restraints.

"You know, I could do so much worse to her than you ever did," it laughed. "I could do this!" And with that I watched the fingers on my right-hand fold backwards onto themselves, the pop and crunch of bone were accompanied by the agonizing feel of heat and pain and I went to my knees. The brutality of it continued as each finger was twisted and snapped by an invisible force and darkness threatened again.

"I'm not going to let you have her!" Dean snapped and clenched his fist. He turned the EMF on and moved it until it connected with my energy and the noise blared through the place once more.

"I already have her!" The demon laughed, still wincing in pain as it did the same torture to my other hand and I felt the lights flashing behind darkening eyes.

I had to get to it, to make it stop. Holding both hands against me, using just my strength in my legs, I pushed up and moved towards it. Running full speed, Dean let the machine blare again and the demon screamed. That was my chance, that one point of weakness and I was inside my own body. I lifted my head, breathing in heavy as the real pain ripped through me, dulling the astral one in comparison. My blue eyes locked on Dean and his expression dropped. He knew it was me.

"Dean, please," I swallowed, breathing through the darkness, keeping myself awake, "stop."

"Not a chance in hell, stopping means he gets you, Ali, and I'm not going to let that happen." Dean answered and I could feel the demon rushing forward. "I need you, Kid, and I'm not letting you go."

"Then finish it," I begged, "I can't do this, I'm so tired."

He was crouching in front of me once again, my face in his hands, the feel of his skin against mine was a saving grace, a grounding point and I opened my eyes to look at him.

"Don't you dare give up on me!" He pleaded and watched my eyes. How could I say no to the way he begged, to all that emotion in them and I nodded, just slightly against his palms before I was torn from my body once again, a force that sent Dean back on his ass. I watched him look up at the demon, as I found myself laying on the concrete beside him. I was exhausted, the floor was hard and cold and it helped my overheated body. "Ali?"

I reached out for him, one hand on the cement and ran my fingers over the back of his until I felt him shiver. He knew he was there.

"This had been so much fun, I can't wait to do it again," the demon grinned looking down at Dean with bright glowing eyes. "But know this one thing before I leave, Winchester, this isn't the extent of my hold on her," Dean's eyes went big as he moved his hand, placing it in the exact spot where mine would be if I were physically there and he let the cool touch he felt go through him. "And as much as you think I'd like her harmed, that's not the case, because not only can I do this to her hands, I can do this to her body." My eyes squinted as the light began to radiate from the demon, light that matched the power of an angel and as it began to burn through me, I felt no pain. When it dimmed and Dean lowered an arm from his face, the damage done to my hands, the punch he had managed to land to knock me out, all were healed. "Make a note of this, Winchester, Ali is mine, she will bring about the darkness and I will win!"

In a flash, I was back in my body, and fully awake. I picked my head up, looking around as I took in the fact that Dean was still sitting on his ass on the floor, his hand where mine was, one leg bent against the ground, one leg bent at the knee and he rested his elbow on it.

I struggled against the restraints as I looked at him with panic filled eyes and quickly he moved, grabbed a knife and snapped off the ties. Before I knew what was going on, I was in his arms, my own wrapped around his neck as I held on for everything I had. One of his hands cupped the back of my neck and head, the other helped keep a damn good grip on me as he pulled me against him, his lips brazing kisses from my forehead to my cheek and back as he breathed with relief.

The banging sounds down the hall made him look up, took that warmth away from my face, and I could almost make out the distinct sounds of Danni's boots hitting the steps as Sam's large strides lead the way, and then they stopped. Dean didn't let up on his hold, and I have no idea what the looks on their faces were but the fact that there was a chair, ties and bunch of occult items out hopefully gave them a hint of what had gone on because the man I held wasn't letting go, evident only from the fact that he sighed and buried his head in my shoulder and hair once again.

I let my body go limp, letting him take my weight, and he welcomed it, as Sam's footsteps suddenly came closer and a hand pressed against the small of my back, but would Danni understand what she had just walked in on, would she believe my story or would Dean have a lot of explaining to do.


	49. DH God Killers - 16

**Chapter 16**

I wasn't broken, or bruised or damaged in anyway, at least not on the outside, but the way that Sam looked at me as I sat on the edge of the bed told me that it didn't matter, I had been. At some point between the time I disappeared and the time he found me, I had been one or all of those things, and it was weighing on his mind.

I didn't want to talk about it, something that I had told them multiple times on the way back to the hotel, while Dean sat quiet in the front seat, glancing at me in the rearview while he drove the Impala in silence. Dean didn't want to talk about it either, in fact, Dean didn't want to talk at all, and this was where we were at the moment. Me, sitting on the edge of the bed, Sam looking at me as if something had happened, though he didn't know what, Dean pacing back and forth in front of the small table in the room, and Danni leaning against the door of the bathroom watching it all go down.

I laid back on the bed, toed my shoes off and moved up to the pillows. Sam walked over slowly as I grabbed a pillow and tucked it under my head, laying on the side facing away from the pacing man. It wasn't that I didn't want to look at Dean, in fact it was quite the opposite, I needed to look at him, to make sure he was still there, to know that he wasn't going to disappear, but I also knew that not talking was going to set Danni off in a way that I couldn't deal with especially if I was staring at her man.

Sam crouched down on the floor beside the bed and brushed my hair back from my face. I gave him a slight grin and winked at him. He knew I was tired, sleep had been alluding me for days, but I know that he could see an emotional toll creeping into my eyes. He leaned forward and kissed me softly, which made me reach out a hand and thread it through his hair. He sighed against me, as if this little contact took everything away but I knew underneath that it was just a bandage.

"Are you sure you're not hurt?" He spoke softly and I looked into his eyes.

"Not hurt," I smiled, "promise."

"How did you get down there anyway?" Danni questioned, and I watched her eyes lock on Dean, but he didn't move, his breathing, as I heard it from where I lay, never changed. "I mean one minute you're in the house and the next you're more than a mile away at an old warehouse? If Cas hadn't found you, what the hell would have happened? And mind explaining the chair and the ties?"

Again, the man behind me never said a word, but when she asked about the chair, my eyes were locked on something else, anything else. Sam cleared his throat and my sights were instantly on his face as he stared at her with tight lips. He knew something had gone on, something that neither one of us was ready to commit to explaining, I mean, you would think eight dead bodies that they had to burn would have told enough of the story but…

"Just…drop it," Dean growled, and I rolled over on the bed to see him glaring at not only Danni but Sam, "when it's time, then you'll know, but until then, please, just drop it."

This reaction got the one I expected from Sam which was a little bit more concern for his brother, but I watched him shut off his emotions, making him do the only thing he knew how when Dean didn't feel like "sharing", he built a wall up to keep himself contained.

In a late-night phone conversation, Sam had told me that it was his way of not getting angry, because he wasn't sure that he would be able to control himself when he was angry and protective and Dean was the one he always needed to be there for, but Dean, well… sometimes the older brother just didn't want it. Sam had been looking up to him his whole life, trying to be in control like his brother, trying to make him proud, but there was one thing that Sam rarely had any control over, and that was what happened if Dean got hurt.

That was a whole other monster entirely. A dark and dangerous Sam was one thing; a protective, younger brother was a beast and Dean knew it, so he shut it down as fast as he could. The man beside me took my hand, kissed my fingers and rolled from the bed as I closed my eyes, but the problem was, as tired as I thought I might be, as exhausted as I should have been, sleep was something that basically told me to screw off.

"I'm going to get some food, none of us have eaten since breakfast," Sam sighed and I listened to his footsteps stop by the door, I heard the clap of his hand down on his brother's shoulder. "Watch over her for me."

It wasn't that he needed to say it, because he knew Dean always would, it was his way of saying that his trust was still with the man no matter what he had walked in on, and I prayed above anything that it stayed that way, because what was coming next was nothing short of life altering.

The tension in the room hadn't lessened any by the time Sam got back with burgers and drinks, and my stomach twisted at the smell of them but after some coaxing, and some threatening by the older of the two… something about eat or I'll force you to… I choked down the burger and made my way back to the bed. I sat there, pondering my own thoughts, visions of watching what the demon did flashed through my head and I shook myself from it.

Sam sat at the table, not too far away, just watching my reactions to everything, Danni and Dean ate in silence but I knew that at some point it was going to blow up, but I watched his hand reach out, gently caress the back of Danni's for just a moment before Dean went back to what he was doing. I cleared my throat, met Sam's eyes and caught Dean's attention.

"Where's Cas?" I whispered softly and watched as the three of them exchanged looks, but no one answered. I nodded, stood and made my way out the door into the early evening light. I walked just past the end of the Charger, placed my hand against Baby's tail end and looked up at the sky. "Cas, if you can hear me, I need you."

The shuffle of boot behind me told me that I wasn't alone. The way they fell told me it was Dean, and the two sets that had stopped beside the door told me that someone wasn't going to be impressed. I turned and looked at them, Dean's brows furrowed with worry, Sam was unsure of what to do and Danni, she just locked onto Dean, uncertain of just about anything at that moment. I watched as Dean looked her over, the loving way his eyes held her but he was in pain, and he gave her a weary smile.

The flutter of wings behind me told me that my canvas-jacketed angel was standing right behind me and I closed my eyes, turned away from the three and looked up into his blue eyes.

"Ali, did the demon…" I raised my hand, stopping him quickly and rested it on his chest.

"I don't want to talk about it," I sighed and watched him stare at me, confused. "I want you to do something for me."

"Anything, you know that." But he had answered too quickly, did he really know that he could do what I wanted him too, did he honestly think that what I would ask of him was going to be something small and completely unimportant. I felt his hand cuff my elbow and the surge of light flowed through me. It made me think of Danni and what she might be able to do, but my mind had been made up. "What is it?"

I turned, let my arm slip down in his grasp until I was holding his hand and I pulled him inside, past Dean, who I brushed lightly with my fingers, and Sam, who I leaned on for only a second, and Danni, who I gave a smile to, trying to look okay. Once inside, I sat Cas down on the second bed in the room, the one we never used, and I sat down across from.

His eyes scanned over me, seeing everything that the others couldn't, the way the darkness seemed to flow through my veins, like Sam and his strange, clouded life force, and his lips turned down in a frown. I leaned forward, not caring where the ones in the room were, and rested my elbows on my knees.

"I want you to shut it off." I whispered and watched him sit back a bit.

"That's not…" he started but came forward and closed the distance, screw the personal space. "I would advise against that, Ali."

"You're not me, Cas, and this wouldn't be the first time, but it needs to be stronger, I need it off." I sighed.

"You're talking about your humanity, what good do you think that would do for you?"

"It would make it so that this bastard wouldn't be able to manipulate me anymore. If I can't feel, if I have no sympathy for the devil, he can't get to me," I glanced over my shoulder, "he can't get to them through me."

"The issue isn't shutting it off, Ali," Cas warned, "it's turning it back on. People have…" he paused, "people have turned it off and never come back from it, because it's just too simple to live like that, soulless, uncaring. What do you hope to gain from shutting it off beside escaping from a monster?"

"I'd like to keep my sanity." I replied and reached out, touching his face with the palm of my hand and I opened my mind to him, I let him see everything that I did, start to finish and I let him feel all that was inside me, and everything the demon let out. I saw Cas sit back and close his eyes, and if an angel could turn a little green, he would have.

"I'm sorry, Ali, I can't." He replied softly, taking my hand from his face. "Showing me that only made my resolve so much more. If you shut it off, if you go in that direction, there isn't a way to save you. At least this way, there's a chance."

"A chance," I nodded, giving him a sarcastic smile, "Cas, you have no idea what I want to do, what my mind and the darkness is pushing me towards. There's no saving anyone from that. There's no saving anyone… at all. It will bring me down, it will drag them down with me."

"Ali," Dean's voice made me take a deep breath but I didn't bother to look at him, he was just saying my name to see if it helped, to see if it calmed but it didn't, it brought back the way he said it when I was detached, the heartbroken way he whispered my name when he thought he was pleading with me not to give up.

"Al," Sam whispered, but I opened my eyes and stared at Cas.

"If you can't switch it off, there is something else that I'm going to ask you to do," my eyes filled with tears as I brought the other plan to the surface but this time I didn't say it out loud, I just pressed my hand against him and let the thoughts flow, the feelings, the pain and when I backed away, I saw the loss in his eyes. "Do you understand what I'm asking you do to? If I can't be saved, if this thing can't be completely taken away, do you get what I need you to do?"

"Yes," was his only answer and I breathed a sigh of relief. I moved my hand, brought my legs up onto the bed and laid back on the pillow. Cas sat there for a few minutes, his face full of uncertainty as he continued to glance over in my direction, but his focus was on his folded hands.

I let out a breath, looked away and listened to the flutter of wings as Cas disappeared from the room.

The sun was going down, another day wasted and no closer to where we needed to be to solve this issue, nowhere closer to finding closure, but I didn't want to stay in the room, didn't want feel Dean's eyes on me, or hear Danni's irritated sighs that he wasn't talking. I could have stayed all day in Sam's arms but even he seemed to be growing irritated with the silence and I had to move.

I walked past them as they sat at the table, slipping on a light jacket that I happened to grab, my spectrum tucked inside, all cleaned and sanitized, and I moved through the parking lot to the small liquor store across the way. A six pack of beer and a small bottle of their finest whipped vodka, Pinnacle, okay so not top shelf but it was what I wanted and was small enough to fit into my hand as I grasped the paper bag around it.

When I got back towards the car, Dean was standing against the pole just outside the room, hands stuffed in his pockets, Danni watched from the doorway and Sam just smiled at me as he came outside. I walked up towards the older of the two brothers and put the pack in his hands.

"I think tonight, we're both going to need this." I smiled and saw him smile, shaking his head just a little bit, and turned to go in, but he stopped and leaned down, close enough so that all he had to do was whisper.

"Don't leave like that again," he growled and I wanted to laugh at him, to give him hell for thinking he could order me around but his fingers brushed mine lightly, "please."

I nodded, agreeing to be in sight all the time and watched as he gave me a wink before headed inside, handing Sam a beer on his way out. I looked at Danni, tried to catch her eyes, but the way she looked at me made me feel two feet tall. With a sigh, I moved away in the direction of the Charger, and found myself leaning on the back bumper, taking swigs from the light blue bottle as Sam came to stand beside me.

"I'm not going to ask," Sam whispered, his body pressed closed to mine so that our arms were touching as we both watched the sunset and I smiled up at him.

"I wasn't going to tell," I answered and watched as he nodded.

"Fair enough," he sighed, taking a drink from the amber bottle, "but we're going to talk about it at some point."

"What part do we need to talk about?" I asked, feeling the vodka burn its way down, "my disappearing, or the way you found me with your brother?"

Sam snapped around to look at me as I turned to watch the sunset. "I've never had a problem with you and Dean, Ali, you know that, why would you bring that up?"

"I don't know," I whispered, trying to shake the strange and angry thoughts from my head. "Maybe I expect you to be like Danni, maybe I expect the jealousy, but I keep forgetting who you are."

"And who am I?" He said with just a little bit of a grin, but the questioned made me swallow fast and the liquid went down just enough of the wrong way that it hit my stomach hard. I looked up at him, saw the compassion in his eyes, even as they clouded with the darkness that was slowly fading in them.

"You're Sam Freaking Winchester," I said, with a raised brow, and he kissed me quickly, but his small grin faded.

"Ali, what the hell happened?" He whispered. I knew that it wouldn't be long before the question just couldn't be ignored.

"Zane," I replied, clearing my throat, "Zane happened and he did some horrible things, and he said some horrible things, and that's all I really want to say about it. I just want this done, I want him to be out of my life so I can get on with ours."

I felt his hand at the back of my neck, slipping under my hair and with a sigh, I let those fingers go to work, kneading out the knots that were bunching there, causing a headache. He leaned down and kissed me on the temple, kept his lips there as he breathed in the scent of my shampoo, the smell of the body wash I used and I felt his lips turn up into a grin.

"Ours," he hummed, "I really like the sound of that."

"Me too," I closed my eyes, enjoying the closeness, the serenity in the madness and I just let it wash over me at least for a little while, until the words I had uttered to Cas, the promise I made him swear to hold brought a tear to my eye. I sniffled and leaned into him, taking another shot from the bottle in my hand. "So, what do we do now, what did you find out at the estate?"

"Nothing that wasn't written in the brochures, which I'm guessing was a load of crap," he sat back and looked around as the sky began to turn a beautiful shade of orange. "What did you and Dean find? I mean where did you go that would make you end up in a place over a mile away?"

"There's a tomb in the basement, miles of tunnels that run into and around the springs. The mirror, the brush, they were all objects from this place, but the names on the markers, they didn't belong to anyone who lived in that house, who owned that house." I sighed and concentrated on the details before the demons came. "There were other things missing, I mean you could make out the shapes of them in the dust. They must have been down there for more than…" I paused and looked at him, "for too long, and the carvings on everything. Hell-script, I know that for sure. Sam, there were bodies down there, rotting bodies that… some were fresh, some were just so old."

"This place has been around for a lot longer than we know of. The tribes that moved on this land long before the buildings went up, they could have brought that here." Sam whispered, but it was just a theory, he didn't really know anything else, he was just giving me something to think about. "What are the names, do you remember them?"

"Not off the top of my head," I sighed, of course nothing was coming to me, it was all so cloudy and I just wanted to sleep. "We could go back, I mean, Dean and I know just where it is."

"No," Sam snapped but when I looked up at him, I listened to him sigh, "what I mean is, there isn't any need for you to go back, I think you've been through enough at that house."

"But what if it connects us to Zane? And what about your father? Those papers that John left us, what if that house could help with decoding this whole thing?" They were questions, ones that I wanted answers for, ones that I hoped I could answer, because Zane and John, and the blades, they were all still in the forefront of my mind. The 21st was coming up fast and I still had no clue on how to stop a war that I knew almost nothing about. "Some of us have to go back to that house, Sam, it's just going to have to be that way. I mean, we need to know."

"Not at the cost of your life," he turned towards me placed the beer on the lid of the trunk and took the bagged bottle from me, setting it beside the amber container. He cupped my face with his hands, strong warm hands that I wanted to lean into, and he brought my chin up so I couldn't help but look into those blue-green eyes. "Nothing, you hear me, nothing is worth your life, your soul, Ali, and I will be the first to put myself in the way of anything that threatens that." I watched the light in his eyes, the darkness that usually kept them cloudy faded into emotions that I was sure he didn't really understand fully, but I could see them circling in his eyes, like the galaxy, and he smiled. "I can't lose you, Ali, not again."

"Oh, Sam," I sighed, wanting so much to protect him, to tell him that everything was going to be alright. Me, protect this big badass hunter who had seen more pain in his lifetime than anyone should be allowed to, I needed to protect him, to keep him as much the man he was at that very moment, but I knew it was next to impossible to promise him anything. Not with what was coming, not with what was swarming around in my thoughts. NOT with what Zane had done to me. "I love you."

I looked at my watch, glanced that the man in the doorway, looked at the watch and sighed as I leaned against the doorsill. Dean stood on the opposite side, his hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans, and both of us looked back towards the bathroom as the shower sprayed on. I raised an eyebrow and turned back to stare into green eyes.

"You need to stop checking on me," I whispered and looked out the door, seeing that the one to his own room was open, "I'm right through the wall, if I cough, you're going to hear it."

"I'm sorry," he apologized and then I saw it, the shift on his face, "you know what, I'm not sorry. What you went through, Al, what we went through, I can't just brush that off and let it lie."

"You're gonna have to for now," I reached out and let my fingers run down his bare forearm, where the shirt had been rolled up to his elbow and just that touch alone seemed have the desired effect, his whole body relaxed. "You need to go to Danni, you need to talk to her."

"I can't tell her what happened," he growled, "hell, I'd rather not think about it myself, so I sure as shit can't explain to her that I watched him do that to you."

"Keep your voice down, or you're not going to have to tell her, the whole motel will know." I sighed and rubbed my hand over my forehead. He reached up and grabbed my hand, and I watched as his thumbs rolled over my knuckles, looking for anything out of place. I smiled as I placed my other hand on top of his searching ones. "Dean, there's nothing there, it's all healed."

"Physically," he grumbled, letting his thumb still move, "physically there is nothing there, but you can't tell me you don't see it still happening in your head."

"Why do you think I asked Cas to shut it off," I snapped and shook my head, "I don't want to constantly see it when I close my eyes, Dean, but what Cas said… he's right, if I shut it off, I don't think I would want it back on, I was numb for way too long before and I remember the feeling, the fact that I didn't care that I just didn't care. It's too inviting."

"Listen," he slipped his hand out of mine, and placed it on my neck, his thumb moving over my cheek. "If you need me, bang on the wall," he sighed, "it's not that I don't think you're going to be safe with Sammy, because my brother has a thing for you ten-miles long, but I just need to know that you're safe."

"It's Sam, Dean, he's not going to let me out of his sight, let alone allow anything to happen to me," I smiled and listened to the lock flip on his door. "Go, talk to her, be with _her_ , you know I'll be fine."

"Yeah," he sighed with frustration and leaned in, kissed my forehead for a long moment before letting me go. I watched him take a deep breath, pull out the American Spirits stick that was in his shirt pocket and look at it for a moment before he put the tip of the filter in his mouth. "Okay."

With that he walked away, headed for the front of the Impala, where he took out the zippo and lit up the cigarette, something he hadn't done in days. I watched him inhale as he leaned against the grill, his eyes focused on the opening door just as I began to shut mine. There was a small smile on his face as he saw her, and released the plumb of smoke from between his lips.

I closed the door, latched it shut and turned to see a naked Winchester standing in the doorway to the steaming bathroom.

"Wow," I whispered and watched as Sam dried his hair with the towel.

"Dean?" he questioned and made his way towards the dresser, where he grabbed a clean pair of boxers.

"Ah, no, the wow was for you," I grinned as I walked towards him and watched him roll his eyes.

"No, I mean was Dean at the door?" He smiled and licked his lips as I approached, his eyes looking over the fact that I had on a tank and a pair of boy shorts panties, not that I had even realized it when Dean knocked, but the older brother hadn't seemed to notice either.

"Yeah, he was checking in," I stopped just shy of him and bit down on the corner of my lip as I reached out towards his hips, tracing the line of his hipbone, watching the reaction his body was giving me as I stroked along the skin there.

"You do have a phone," he said with the bite of jealousy that I had expected to hear at some point in time, and I moved my hand to grasp him by the waist. Going up on my toes, I leaned my head back, wanting a kiss but not asking for it. He seemed to get the picture as he dropped the towel and leaned in, kissing my lightly before backing away. "He knows I'm right here, right?"

"He knows," I watched him slip out of my grasp and move over towards the bed. Turning to follow him with my eyes as he sat down on the edge, I leaned back on the dresser. "It's just going to take him a bit to let it go."

"What did he do that was so bad?" Sam shook his head. "There's nothing in the world that I could picture Dean doing that would make him this possessive."

"Protective," I corrected and sighed, "and it wasn't what he did, it's what he couldn't stop."

Sam nodded, apparently, Dean not being able to prevent something from happening always took a major toll on him.

"That sounds about right now that I think of it. He becomes a hovering lunatic that drives you mad." He looked up at me and reached out a hand. I moved to meet his hand, felt him tug me too him and stood between his legs as his arms wrapped loosely around my waist. "He knows I'm here, and I get that. I also get Dean, I mean you watch someone for your whole life and you kinda pick up their patterns, so I know this isn't going to be easy on him if it was something he couldn't have done anything about. He's going to kick himself forever, or until it's finished."

I placed both hands against his cheeks, as he looked up at me, and smiled. "Nothing's coming between us, Sam, not Dean, not Zane, not the end of the world as we know it, I will make damn sure of that."

"Why is it that I totally believe you?" He teased as his hands moved, one spreading across my back, the other lower, across my cheeks, as he pulled me closer. I leaned down, just a breath away from his lips.

"Hmm, crazy girlfriend, nutcase hunter… take your pick," I laughed and he took a moment to think.

"I'm going to go with sexy as hell," he replied and pulled me down onto his lap.

Oh, this was going to be fun!


	50. DH God Killers - 17

Chapter 17

His muscles tightened along his abdomen, and his body shivered as I brushed my lips long the skin there. Tasting him with my tongue, nipping just so slightly with my teeth, enough to leave small red marks along the dark line that disappeared down into the curled patch of hair. He moaned as I kissed him once again, my hands raking along his skin, tugging at the small point of his left nipple, which almost got a hiss from him.

I loved when he released his control, his hands grasping onto the blankets in order to keep from telling me what to do, from moving me in the direction he wanted, but I also feared it because the control I had over myself was slipping and the last person I ever wanted to hurt was Sam.

The rough cotton of his boxers had disappeared the moment I laid him back on the bed, but I let the textured material of my tank glide over the length of him, getting a reaction of a moan and the clenching of his teeth, like a pain/pleasure sensation and I knew he was getting to the point where he wasn't going to be able to hold back from my teasing.

I could feel the darkness rising in me, the way that need to control took over and I knew there was nothing that I wouldn't want to do to him, anything to make him moan and cry out. I wanted that noise, I needed that response and I moved lower, kissing my way along the lines of his muscles. My hand slipped under his hardened length, curling around it as I stroked upwards, and he gasped, the fingers on the sheets clenching, but as I ran my tongue over the top of it, his eyes flew open and one of his hands came down to my shoulder.

"Ali!" He groaned but I swirled around the tip, tasting him as he ground his teeth, trying to back into the bed, his hand came up under my arm, trying to pull away, still worried that he might do something he couldn't take back but I glared up at him from under my lashes, looked at the shock in his eyes as I started to see the smoky red color of his veins and his head dropped back as I wrapped my lips around him. "I don't want…"

"You won't," I whispered, just loud enough for him, taking him away from the warmth of my mouth long enough to reassure him, before I captured him once more.

The "oh" that left him was as if he were in some sort of pain, mixed with something he didn't quite understand and his hip bucked up against me just a little as I repositioned myself on my knees, steading against the movements I was about to make as I took him in more. His hand gripped the back of my head and I quickly reached up and pulled it away, slapping it back down on the bed. This was my treat, my playtime and I smiled as he quickly grabbed the blanket once again.

Looking up at him, I could only see the underside of his chin, the way his head was thrown back as he squirmed under my touch, the pump of my hand combined with the way my mouth sucked at his taut skin. His hip bucked up, just as my lips came down and my teeth scraped his skin, getting a growl from him as I moved and did it again, this time I used my hand to press down on his hips, keeping him firmly anchored to the bed.

"Jesus, Ali!" He moaned and his hand left the comforter once more. "You have to stop, or I'm done."

"Umm-hmm," I hummed against him, getting little more than a hiss as a response.

"I want to be inside you, I don't want…" his protest stopped when my hand came up over the tip of him and my lips popped off. With a grin, I managed to remove my shirt, since the panties were already across the room and I positioned myself over him, watching the blood pump through him. Sam watched as I held him up with one hand, slickened by my lips and slowly moved to draw him in, just the tip at first. He threw his head back once more, his hands came up to grip my hips as I teased. "Christ!"

This one made me laugh, more because the way he said it, but some because I was afraid it might have hurt to have the name said in my presence. At that moment, I really felt like a demon, and Sam was definitely on his way to the darkest sin.

I let him fill me, needing to be as close to him as I could and waited for just a second as my body adjusted to him, loving the feeling of being so intimately close, but I needed more and leaned down as he came up to meet my lips.

His kiss was demanding, just as his body became when I plunging down on him, we needed as much as we gave and the momentum sent us both into cries of passion, our bodies coating in the sweat of the motion as he gripped me around the waist and turned the tables, pinning me under him. He pushed in with force, making me roll my eyes, those ones that I thought were as black as night but he seemed to never notice, no matter how much he stared into them, and that was his kink, he liked to watch my face. He needed to see whatever he could about the way I reacted to him and what he was going now only got him replies of whimpers and want.

I reached behind him, grasping at the headboard with one hand as I took his other, threading our fingers together, but as I came off the headboard, wanting to take hold of that hair, the curtain of it that feel in his face, the way it clung to his forehead, soaked with sweat, the meat of my thumb came down on the tip of a nail, slicing through it.

"Ow," I snapped, angry at the pain, but groaning because it only added to the pleasure he was inducing.

"Did I hurt you?" Sam asked quickly, meeting my eyes as I watched the blood begin to roll from the jagged cut. "Ali?"

"Don't stop!" I groaned as he slowed and I pushed up against him, taking him back to where I wanted him, deep inside, "it's just a cut, it will stop."

He made a noise, something between understanding and lust as he stared at my hand, and I could see the blood in him pumping faster, the way his heart raced as he stared and I could almost see the bloodlust in his eyes.

He'll feed off your darkness. Cas' voice invaded my thoughts and at that very moment, I didn't care, I wanted Sam's darkness as much as he wanted mine and I brought my hand down, caught a drop of the blood on my lip and watched his eyes go dark, really, really dark before he caught my wrist and quickly brought the cut to his mouth.

The feeling of him thrusting inside me, pulsing against me and the way he sucked on the cut sent me so far over the edge, I saw stars behind my eyes but the low growl deep in his throat, as it vibrated against my skin, his teeth grazing the cut, made me scream out with pleasure.

He backed away, thickening inside me and put his head back as he stiffened, releasing everything, buried deep and I smiled, one of satisfaction, one of pure pleasure, and one of evil intent because Sam was now truly mine.

He nearly collapsed on me as he released my hands, both of them and pressed his cheek against my chest. I ran the uninjured hand through his hair, the smoky red vision slowly disappearing and looked at the cut, confused and annoyed that all I saw there was a faded pink coloring from the blood that Sam had left, and clear, untouched skin where the tear used to be.

What the hell was happening to me?

Sam slept peacefully beside me, I had dozed for at least a little while but then my body, full of adrenaline from the activities of the evening, had me sitting up in bed. I had grabbed a tee-shirt from the bag, one of Sam's and had slipped it on when I headed to the bathroom, but something had stopped me from lying back down next to him, like the flow of the energy in the room had become charged and I stared off into the darkness the thumb of my left hand gently caressing the unbroken skin of the right.

I heard the door open to the room beside me, heard the hushed whispers of an argument that spilled out into the night air. Dean's voice was remaining as calm as Dean could keep it, while Danni's raised in aggravation. I stood, slipping the sheet around me as I did, still pressing against the pad of my hand and walked towards the open window. Thought the small crease in the shades, I could see Dean light up a cigarette and lean against Baby, before taking a long drag and a glance at our door.

"See, that's what I'm talking about, Dean." Danni sighed, and I imagined that she stood in the doorway, her arms crossed, "she's been here for only a few days, yet our relationship has been turned upside down. You spend more time checking on her than you do talking to me."

"That's not…" Dean rubbed his brow with the back of his thumb, "I'm only checking on her because of what happened. It wasn't a walk in the park, Dan, it was traumatic, for both of us, and yeah, this is a change for us, for you and me, but it doesn't change how I feel about you!"

"It doesn't?" She snapped and shook her head. "Then stop touching her!"

"What the hell does touching her have to do with anything?" Dean growled, apparently, I wasn't the only one on the receiving end of this request. "It's not sexual, it's not me wanting her, it's just…"

"You need to do it, so you both keep telling me, and I get it…"

"Do you?" He questioned and shook his head, "cause I don't get it, and neither does she, but we're dealing with it and if you do get it and why, please explain it to me."

"That's not what I meant," Danni sighed and stepped out to where I could see her, in tee-shirt and shorts and she took Dean's shirt in her hands, tugging on his as he leaned down and kissed her softly, lovingly, an action that made me smile. "Look, I don't know what I mean. I understand that you two have a connection. It's just… I'm suddenly having to come to terms with sharing you with her. This was supposed to be an easy cut and dry case, but it got turned upside down on its head and I don't know where it went wrong, but suddenly she's different and you're different."

"I'm not any different than I was before, Danni, I still love you, and I still love her and nothing is going to change that, but I don't want her if that's what keeps getting you so hyped. I wish you would understand that." Dean closed his eyes, flicked the cherry off his cigarettes and tilted his head back. "I would tell you what happened, I really would, but what I want to do is forget it."

"Was it that painful?"

"Have you ever seen someone that close to you tortured?" Dean whispered, his eyes closed as he hung his head down, "hurt in a way that there was nothing you could do to fix, even if your tried? Yeah, it really was that painful."

"I'm sorry," she touched his face, and I watched the strange line of light that trailed after her finger, inside me some jealous streak emerged, making the colors that surrounded them turn to a smoky red and I shook my head to clear it out. Jealous over Dean and Danni, no way! That wasn't going to be me. "I know it's pushing the envelope, but I wish either of you would trust me enough to confide in me what went on."

Dean took her hand from his cheek and held it tightly in his own as he looked into her eyes and kissed the open palm of her hand, "you know me, Danni, you know this doesn't come easy enough on a good day, so you have to understand that I just can't."

"What did she ask Cas to do to her?" Dean picked up his head and looked up at the sky.

"Probably something I'm going to be totally pissed off about, but honestly, I haven't got a clue," he answered and looked down at her. "You should ask her, maybe if you have a conversation with her, instead of trying to get her to admit feelings for me that she doesn't have, maybe she'll tell you what's going on."

"I haven't done that," Danni snapped.

"You've done it since she stepped in the door, Dan," he took a drag of the cigarette before putting it out on the bottom of his boot.

"You're defending her again." He stopped as he headed for the door and turned back to her as she crossed her arms and watched Dean shake his head.

"You know, I'm not that guy, right?" he questioned, apparently, it was something he needed to get off his chest. "I'm not that BS actor on your TV show. You've known who I was from the jump, yet you keep thinking I'm him, all brotherly love and family loyalty, and I am. I get we have some similarities but this isn't some chick flick, not everything is going to turn out pretty, or end on a grand note like the episodes. This is real life, Danni, and Ali and I have been this way from the get go, long before this," his fingers pointed back and forth between them, "happened, and don't get me wrong, I am so glad we're together, but I will protect her with my life, just like I would yours. I just can't do what you are begging me so adamantly to do, and I won't."

"So, you're picking her over me?"

"No!" he growled, "I'm not picking either of you, that's the point! I won't lose you to this… this whatever the hell "end of the world" crap is going down, but I'm not going to lose her either. You either have to learn to deal with what she and I have or not."

"Fine," she whispered softly, and shook her head. "If you swear there isn't anything romantically going on between the two of you, then I believe you. If you tell me that all you're doing is protecting her, than I get it and I'll drop it," she walked up to him and sighed, "but when this is done, it's you and me, or it's just… over."

Danni walked through the door, disappearing from sight as Dean looked up and towards the window, as if he could see me from between the blinds and he sighed, shook his head and tossed the butt out into the parking lot. He took a deep breath, still staring there, licked his lips as if debating and turned to go inside.

I felt the light touch of a hand down the naked curve of my spine and turned to see Sam standing behind me. Holding the sheet up with one hand, I ran the other down his chest and slipped it around his waist as he looked down at me, his hair drifting down into his eyes.

"Come back to bed," he sighed, but there was a demanding tone to it and I couldn't help but curl my lips up in a smile, before slipping past him, the hand on his waist running along his bare stomach as he sucked in a quick breath at the feeling and followed.

I heard birds outside the window as the sun started to peek through the heavy blinds and my eyelids fluttered. I swear there was not enough time in the day to sleep but I was happy that I had slept at all. With Sam beside me, after beckoning me to bed once again, another round of adrenaline inducing horseplay, my body finally gave out and gave into the sleep it desperately needed.

But that wasn't what woke me up, not the bird or the sun. It was the sound of the slamming of a car door. Curious, I grabbed my jeans and tugged them on before finding my bra, which was somewhere thrown around the room and finally stepped out into the crisp morning air barefoot and hugging myself.

Danni was rummaging around in the trunk of the Impala, which was curious to see at all but it was the lack of Dean, despite the banging that really got my attention.

"What are you doing?" I yawned and watched her pivot in my direction, completely taken by surprise.

"Getting some hunting stuff ready," she replied and I watched as she stuffed things in her pack. Okay, so that made sense, but it was just about six am and where the hell was she going hunting that early in the morning?

"Without Dean?" I coaxed.

"No, he's getting coffee," she answered, almost as if she didn't want to and put her hands on Baby's tail end, before she looked back at me. "You done with the twenty questions?"

"I only counted two, want me to go for eighteen more?" I smiled, which I meant jokingly but watched her turn and lean against the back of the car. Her face told me she wasn't in a joking mood and I shrugged. "So, you're hunting, where too?"

"We're going to go back to the house, figured if we did it early enough we wouldn't get caught, and we didn't tell you and Sam because Dean is insistent that you don't need to step back in that place again… ever!"

"Fair enough," I shrugged and turned to leave.

"You owe me," she whispered and this made me stop. I closed my eyes, not enough time awake and no coffee, this probably wasn't going to be good but I turned back to her anyway, trying to rub the already forming headache from my skull.

"What exactly do I owe you?" I questioned.

"An explanation."

"Gee, that wasn't at all expected!" I growled and stepped away, closing the door behind me as I stood on the concrete with bare feet. "Please tell me, which part of my life do I owe you an explanation for this time?" I didn't even want to wait for her to answer as I stuck my hands in my pockets and pursed my lips. "Let me guess, the way that you two walked in on Dean and I, why did we leave with each other to begin with, why the hell didn't we tell anyone? Getting close?"

Danni's eyes narrowed and me and as I expected, I got the exact response I was looking for. "Pretty much."

"Fine," I took a deep breath, because right at that moment, reliving that God-awful thing wasn't bothering me, though it might afterwards. "I followed Dean, he didn't make me go with him, he didn't want me to go with him! In fact, I was trying to avoid him at all costs, but that didn't happen. We ended up in the tunnels, we found crap, and we tried to call from the caverns but there was no cell service, you know being that we were God only knows how many feet below the surface of the building, the lawn, etcetera."

I continued to step closer to her, seeing the thumping of her jugular against her throat, but I kept my arms crossed. "And what you walked in on, at the warehouse, what you are so so curious about, was Dean, comforting me, after a freaking demon tortured me, kicked me out of my own body, broke both my hands, tried to kill my soul!" I growled, feeling the anger rise in me as my own heart started to race, "what you saw was a man holding onto someone he thought he had to kill in order to save because the bastard wouldn't let go, and if this all should like a bunch of bullcrap to you, sweetheart, call Jones, because he gave Dean the spell to send that son of a bitch packing."

I stopped within a foot of her, close enough so she could see the blackness cascade over my eyes, so I could see the light flash in hers. "You think this is all been peaches and cream, but Danni, you don't know anything."

"HEY!" Dean yelled and put the tray of coffees on the hood of the Charger, making a move to step between us. "Hey, easy there!" He told me, grabbing me by both my arms as he backed me away. "Come on, Kid, take a few deep breaths."

"What's going on?" Sam questioned as the door opened and Dean looked up from me to Sam, then back at Danni.

"Wish I knew," he sighed and slowly released me, his hands replaced by Sam's in an unspoken attempt to keep me under control.

"It broke your hands?" Danni whispered and Dean spun around to look at the paleness of her face, before he turned back to me.

"You told her?" He questioned and slowly I raised my eyes to meet his.

"Not everything, but enough so that she got the point,"

"What point was that?" Dean snapped.

"When I say I don't want to talk about it," I hissed through clenched teeth, "I mean it!"

I shrugged off Sam's hands and headed back into the room, Dean followed close behind and grabbed my hand with his. I turned swinging, wanting to land a punch but all I saw when I looked at him was the smoky color that surrounded him. I could see inside him, all of his veins, his structure, and I felt my lips curl up in a grin.

"Ali, you need to take a breath and calm down. Don't let this thing take you!" He snapped and I blinked, listening to the sound of his voice. Sam was beside me, his smell flowing into me, taking over and between the touch of one brother and the scent of the other, I could feel the darkness fading until I looked just past Dean to where Danni stood, looking shocked and horrified.

"I need to leave," I responded, the pain of everything I had caused welled up in my eyes and I could feel the wetness rolling down my cheeks, "Cas was right, you all need to be protected," I shook my head, taking a second to look at each of them, "from me."

"That's not true," Sam whispered, his hand came around to touch my face, and I looked up at him, knowing that whatever was happening to my eyes whenever it took over had faded. "We just have to work on getting rid of whatever is in you, but Ali, we don't need to be protected from you, we need to protect you."

"I'm not a job!" I snapped and moved out of their reach, as I backed up further into the room. "This is how it started, the four of us, I was a job, and I refuse to be one again."

"You were never a job, Ali," Dean whispered, frustrated.

"No, I was family," I sassed and shook my head, "but, Dean, I've always been a monster."

"Stop!" Danni spoke up, "stop right now and cut the crap, Ali, this isn't you talking."

"Then it wasn't you earlier as well, asking me why I was doing things," I smiled and shook my head, "no, it's this place, this prophecy."

"So, let's get down to the bottom of it," Dean rubbed his forehead. "Danni and I will go back to the house and look deeper into what we found, you and Sam," he looked from his brother to me, stepping closer, but I stepped back, "Ali, you and Sam do what you can here, there had got to be some more history on this place, on those blades."

"Fine," I whispered and placed my hands on my hips as I steadied myself while Dean approached, reached out and cupped the back of my head.

I closed my eyes as his lips touched the skin of my forehead and tried to stay relaxed even though the sandpaper feeling had returned. He backed away slowly, looked at the pain on my face and I could see the confusion in his eyes. Dean sighed, turned and walked past his brother and Danni.

I heard the roar of the Impala and let out a breath, the further away Dean was at that moment, the better things would be. At least I hoped.

Sam and I sat at one of the small tables outside a café on Main street in Old Town once again, this time I had slipped on a pair of sunglasses to hide the darkening purple under my eyes and to help block out the painful glare of the sun. In front of him were the papers from John and his laptop, while in front of me was an untouched coffee.

"Huh," he murmured.

"You realize that is probably my least favorite word in the entire English language," I said and sighed, hoping that came out a little less grumpy than it sounded but his looked up over the top of the computer at me, gave me a small smile and shook his head.

"Maybe you should have another cup," he teased and looked at the one that sat there untouched. "Or start with your first."

"I'm sorry, Sam," I sighed and ran my fingers over the back of his hand, "I can't eat, I can't sleep, I'm not thirsty, and the coffee doesn't do anything for me. Just tell me when I'm being a bitch and I'll shut up."

"You, shut up?" He laughed, snickered actually which made me smile. "Yeah, hell would have frozen over by that time, so I have a better chance of roasting a marshmallow over Lucifer's charred remains."

"Oh, you're such a comedian!" I rolled my eyes. "What did you find?"

"The papers that Dad left are basically a spell, or the way the blades were originally forged," Sam whispered, scooting his chair closer so he could show me the old writing on the parchment. "Mimosa, Cedar, everything that was used in the making of the blades has magical properties. They really are god killers, even the Latin etched on them is a spell, "protector of good, destroyer of evil," but that's not what got me."

"Oh, so all that useless information didn't peak your interest?" I smiled and watched as he gave me a wink, knowing that I was teasing.

"What got me was what was written under all of this "useless" information, and it took me a while to figure it out because it's not just Latin, it's Archaic Latin, which dates back to 75 BC if not earlier, which is what took me so long to decipher it. This wasn't written by the same people who did the blade work, this was written by someone much, much older."

"Who?" I questioned and watched as he shook his head.

"That's a good question," he sighed.

"So, give me the bad news, what does it say?"

"Well, that "protector of good" isn't just the spell, it talks about the person who holds the light inside, and that the "destroyer of evil" talks about…"

"Wait, let me guess, the one with the darkness." I sat back in the chair and sighed, "wonderful!" I touched the paper right next to his fingers and leaned in. "Okay, I don't know Archaic Latin, but I'm pretty sure this word is vibration."

"It is actually," he smiled and kissed my head as I leaned in closer. "It says that when the darkness finds the blades, the vibration that it gives off will basically be irresistible to them. They won't be able to deny the pull."

"So, the blades will own me?"

"No, from what I can tell, it just means that you have to be the one that finds them, wherever they're hiding, the power will draw them to you." Sam shrugged and I felt his hand come around to grip my waist as his lips danced along my temple. "This thing won't own you, Ali, we won't let it."

"I keep telling myself that too," I sighed and leaned into his touch.

The cell on the table vibrated and Sam snatched it up before removing his lips from any part of me. I sat back and watched the strange, confused look on his face. Placing the phone to his ear, he said the one thing I had hoped he wouldn't.

"Dean?" My eyes closed as dread struck me and the panic inside washed over me. "Okay," he sat forward, shutting down the computer, "dude, you have to calm down!" I could sense his panic and helped him start packing things up as the two of us dashed for the car. "NO! Dean! Seriously, just wait there, we're coming!" Sam tossed everything less than gently into the trunk of the Charger and revved the engine as we closed the doors. "Now, Dean! We're coming now!" He tossed the phone down on the seat and turned to look at me, as he caught his breath. "Danni's missing."


	51. DH God Killers - 18

**Chapter 18**

Dean was standing outside the warehouse, the same one that we had been attacked in before with the demons and when Sam pulled the car up beside the Impala, I watched him grab the shotgun from the car.

Stepping out into the empty gravel lot, Sam and I both looked around.

"Yeah," Dean snarled, "this place again. I'm about ready to burn it to the ground!"

"How did she go missing?" Sam questioned, watching Dean give him the stink-eye.

"Something nailed me on the back of the head," he stated sorely as if his pride was hurt because he had been snuck up on. "But I think I got a beat on which way they took her. This place is massive and I can't go it alone."

"Okay, Macho Man, you really think we would have let you do it all by yourself?" I growled, pulling the Walther out of the back of my jeans to check the clip before taking the extra ones he handed me from the back of the Impala.

"Ha, ha, pain in the ass!" He snapped and Sam just rolled his eyes. "Let's go."

The plan was simple, get in, get up, grab her and go, but as I had said before, even the most well-laid plans can go sideways, this one went straight down.

It started pretty simple, first floor, clear. Second floor, also clear, third floor, not so much. Demons attacked from every direction, separating me from the boys as I ducked down the hall to avoid being slaughtered, but it seemed to take me just where I needed to go, which was back down towards the basement.

Before me stood the double doors of a room deep in the bowels of hell, or the basement floor, I wasn't sure which, but I knew one thing, this was a completely different part of the building then where Dean and I had our encounter with Zane.

I snuck around the corner, footsteps as silent as I could get them, and found myself in the entrance of a large room. For a moment I stopped, I knew what this was, there was no way around it. It was a trap, but then again, there was always something that trumped my sense of logic when it came to do I go in or do I just hang back until the boys got there. That something was Danni. I could see her from where I stood, tied to one of the support beams in the middle of the room.

Ugh, there was one thing that I hated worse than vampires, more freaking demons!

Following along the line of the shadows, okay, so I followed the wall more since the whole place was covered in shadows. You know, that creepy old warehouse vibe, but wall I followed was a clear path straight to Danni, yet again, probably another trap.

Looking around, listening, the only thing I could hear was the sound of her breathing, a little heavy, a little fast and I knew she was in some kind of pain. I stepped out of the darkness, and caught the glimmer of something just off to the right of me. Damn my attention span, never gives me anything good to be distracted by at the right time, but the shine in the darkness seemed to really capture it and there was no way to let it go, I could feel it calling me.

A half dozen steps, maybe just a little more and I was standing beside the table, looking down at two blades, two very familiar and very real blades. I remember what I had read about them, what Sam had just told me about them. Forged in the fires laced with red cedar and mimosa, powerful trees with magical properties, inlaid with silver, blessed with Holy Oil, Sage and Myrrh, spelled with ancient magic and the Latin words: _deus interfectorem, neque sanctiores malum, protector bonorum._

The _God Killer_ blades.

And they were vibrating with power, calling me to them.

Something that was supposed to be a myth, something pulled right out of our history, was sitting there before me and all I had to do is reach out and grab it. I would have thought about it for a moment, I should have really thought about it, especially with the darkness that flowed through me, but the noise on the other side of the room had me tucking the twin custom blades down the inside of my boots and they became almost instantly forgotten.

They didn't seem to weigh a thing, and the warmth of them against my calf seemed almost natural, but they were not in the forefront of my thoughts, Danni was, and I quickly made my way over, flipping out the small blade on my pocket knife as I knelt behind her and started in at the ropes. I heard her moan softly and her head tilted to the side.

"It's a trap, Ali?" she whispered weakly, our earlier argument forgotten

"Yeah, I would have never guessed that," I smiled and continued to cut at the thick rope that bound her there.

"What are you doing here? Where are the boys?"

"They're coming, don't get your panties in a knot," I grunted as the blade finally slipped through the material and I unraveled it from her wrists. Once she was free, I moved to crouch in front of her, checking out the bruises and cuts on her face. "What the hell did you do?"

"It was an ambush," she moaned as I took her hands in mine, careful to avoid the deep red marks on her wrists as I pulled her to her feet and let her lean back against the post. "Just outside the door."

"Remind me to never to let you go anywhere with Dean ever again, let alone some dank, dark basement with some creepy ass tomb," I sighed, looking over her shirt to see if there might be any blood leaking from spots that there shouldn't be holes.

"How did you know where I was?"

"Man," I smiled up as I looked into her blue eyes, "for someone who just took an ass whooping, you sure are full of a lot of questions." I slid one arm around my shoulder and moved to see if she could hold her own balance. She was a little unsteady at first but managed to stay up as I grabbed her by the waist of her jeans for extra support. "Add never to save your ass from demons again to that list too."

"Why's that?" Danni laughed and I stopped just for a second to look up at her.

"I got mud on my brand-new ass-kicking boots!" I explained as if she should have known that, and watched her roll her eyes in annoyance before taking a step forward again. "Besides, they pick the crappiest places to hide and you know how much I hate warehouses." A noise behind us had us stopping in our tracks and both Danni and I turned to look at the figures that seemed to appear from the shadows. Slipping my gun from the back of my jeans, I handed it off to Danni before reaching down into my boot to grab the new toy I had picked up. "Did I mention how much I hated demons?"

"About fifty times in the last few days," she answered and looked down at the blade in my hand. "Nice knife."

"Yeah?" I smiled, brought it up to admire it and grabbed the other one with my free hand, before handing it towards her. "It was a buy-one-get-one sale, so I picked you up one too." Danni rolled her eyes, held the gun with her right hand and took the blade in her left. I could see on her face that she was impressed by the feel of it, which to me was completely natural and almost light as a feather in my palm. "Now don't go losing it, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a collector's item."

"How can you joke at a time like this?" She questioned sarcastically and all I could do was grin as the six men and women, because you know they're all just meat suits, approached. "Split it right down the middle or wanna flip for the gender?"

"I'm an equal opportunity ganker, Dan, you should know that by now, gender equality and all that happy crap." I replied and winked.

"Where the hell are the boys?" I flipped the knife handle in my palm, angled myself so my back was to Danni, my right foot out front, and she did the same, but with the left, protecting our backs.

"They're coming, Sam probably lost his shoe and Dean, well, he has a habit of getting caught up in all the excitement, so a game of rock/paper/scissors to see which one is going to go first was probably in order." I joked but I could feel the adrenaline kicking in. "Waiting sucks."

"Well, then, your move or theirs, sis, take your pick." She smiled. Yeah, she loved this as much as I did, ass kicked or not.

"Since you were so gracious to give me that option," I winked, "mine first."

I watched them advance, took the small gun from the inside of my boot and raised it up, cocked back the hammer and let that baby fire. I watched the bullet enter a big man's shoulder and he swayed but kept coming.

"Well, that was a bit anticlimactic." I groaned and watched as Danni smiled. Looking at the gun, I shook my head. "Forgot to change out the witch killing ones with Devil's traps."

"See what you get for letting Sam distract you?" Danni laughed, but she raised my Walther and quickly let a shot off at the same demon and we watched it stop in its tracks. "At least your main one was loaded right."

"Well, how about that, sometimes I surprise even me." I stated and took a deep breath, the other five decided that playtime was over and rushed at us.

It was, per usual, like a dance but with subtle little movements that were meant to throw you off your game, like when that one demon moved the way you didn't expect and suddenly you're sucker punched. But then it's right back into step where you can lash out and stick it to the same bastard that hurt you. Yeah this was going on and on, but there didn't seem to be an end to it. The blades, though in theory should have been turning the demons' inside to dust, weren't doing anything but acting as if I was poking a dead thing with a stick.

I had finally gotten one to stay down, but that might be because the blade slit its throat on kind of accident, okay, totally on purpose, but it just seemed to piss off the others, and it wasn't until I heard the loud crash behind me, that I was able to whirl around and see Danni up against the wall, my gun and her blade by her side. The demons that had been harassing her finally got the jump and she was trying her damnedest to hold onto consciousness again.

I should have left her sitting on by the post, she should have never been fighting. Anger welled up in me and I turned towards the five that began to surround me. This was far from done and there was no way that I was letting them win.

They advanced all at once and all I remember was a blur of actions, swings of my arms, the knife catching and releasing as it made contact with the bodies that surrounded me. They got their hits in, don't get me wrong, but there were no weapons involved, which made me question exactly what was going on, until of course, that one little slip-up where I found my leg swept out from under me and I was lying flat on my back, looking up at five angry black-eyed assholes.

I took a deep breath, judged the distance between me and the gun and found myself totally screwed. Letting it out, I looked up and prayed that the boys arrived soon, because I could use an ass saving right at that point, so if you believe in the power of positive thinking, you know what happened next.

I watched as they were tossed, one by one, picked up, necks snapped and dusted by an invisible force that seemed to come out of nowhere. The last one standing made a move towards me, reached down and grabbed my shirt, bringing me up towards him, (big brutish guy by the way) and he could have easily thrown me across the room, but he just snarled at me before his head did this creepy quick twist and I heard the bones snap.

His hand went limp, dropping me to the floor again, and I rolled quickly to my feet. Danni let out a little noise and my eyes darted from her to the direction she was looking. There, coming out of the shadows was a tall man, shorter than Sam but taller than Dean by only inches. I recognized the way his body moved, the stance he took on the edge of the darkness and my memory flashed back to the river's edge, as he reached out and kissed me on the forehead.

"John," I swallowed.

"Asmodeus," he corrected. Okay, demon in a Dad suit, totally keep forgetting that part. "I see you got my presents." I looked down at the blade in my hand and looked up at him questioningly. "Beautiful, aren't they? I made them myself, you know."

"Why?" I'm not sure if it was a question of him giving it to us or him making it, but either way it made him smile.

"Because, you're the only ones that can carry them. They're God Killers, Ali, they can destroy anything evil that you come across."

"Fat lot of good it did with these six!" I growled. "It was like I was stabbing them with a barbeque skewer."

"They have to be activated," he laughed, and suddenly he was less than three feet from me and I took a step back, steadying myself. "They have to kill a god to become God killers, child."

"I'm not two, John, I know the stories." I rolled my eyes and looked over at Danni. "Why do we need them? I mean, why us?"

"You know your family line, Alison, you surely have made the connection by now." I watched that familiar Winchester smile cross his face and I felt my body shiver. This was their dad, this was John Winchester, but the power that flowed through him was pure evil. "Zadimus is an abomination, one that is skillful and deadly."

"Yeah, I got that when he managed to take over the mind of an angel." I snapped, thinking about Cas and the way that he had all but tried to beat Dean to death…again, but I swallowed back my anger and looked at him with hatred. "What does the blades have to do with us and Zadimus?"

"Shall I tell you a story?" He closed the space between us, as if it were a secret and I found myself looking up at his height.

"Only if you think you need to stall for the boys to arrive."

"They won't make it in time to change anything that really matters," he answered as if he knew something that I didn't. "So our tale begins a long, long time ago with an angel and a demon."

"You know, I think I've heard this one before…"

"Hush," he said softly but I had no choice but to listen, as he raised a finger, the grip on my blade tightened. "The land here was just being settled by the colonists, and two, young, supple humans walked into a field. They thought it was serene and beautiful, but they didn't know they had stepped into the middle of a battle. You see the angel and the demon were hashing out some differences, but not the kind that you would find in the war between heaven and hell, no this was a lover's spat, and the two humans were just what they needed."

"You used them?" I whispered as my mind painted a very vivid picture of a bloody fight between the two but I heard John laugh, a full bodied, soulful laugh which had my eyes locked on his.

"Not in the way that you were just thinking. You see, our forms were not like the ones you see today. Castiel said you could never look at his true form, the same goes for a Prince of Hell, it would burn you, and not just your eyes." I knew it, damn it, Asmodeus was the last of the Princes, the last of Lucifer's creations but I had hoped that our new foe had nothing to do with that old storyline. "The coupling of an angel and a demon was always thought to be something that just could never happen, an offspring of that power was nothing either side ever wanted, but what do they say, "accidents happen"? A child was born, a very powerful child, given away to a family who would love and care for it, one that never knew where it had originally come from, of its origins."

"So Zadimus is a hybrid of an angel and a demon, of a Prince of Hell and an angel? What angel?" I questioned and watched him smile.

"It matters not, he's dead." I felt my face drop at this. _HE'S_ dead? _HE_?

Swallowing hard, trying to take in all of this information was pretty well straining my brain as I shook off the thoughts of who it might have been. An archangel? I mean who else would be powerful enough to take on a Prince?

"Okay," I drew in a shaky breath, "what the hell does this have to do with me and Danni, and these damn blades?"

"Well, when you're… used… for a lack of a better term, by either side, some of it remains with you, and with the two of them, it carried those traits down the line. Some angel grace, some demon's darkness. Her grandmother," he whispered and grinned at Danni before turning back to me, "and your grandfather."

"Oh God," I sighed and knew just who the couple was that he had been referring to. "They were brother and sister." Lost in thought of the whole scenario, I felt myself shake as I finally looked up at him as a wave of disgust flashed through me, "eww!"

John smiled, grinned from ear to ear at the reaction that I gave him and crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you see now why the blades are meant for you? The last of the descendants, the last of the line."

"I have children, John." I reminded him but he shrugged.

"They aren't pure, they aren't what you would call full circle."

"That's right, somewhere close to the end of the line, Danni's family tree and mine crossed again." That little sly grin on his lips grew again. How the hell could it get any bigger? "Okay, so last PURE descendants, got it! But still, exactly how are these things activated?"

"It's simple really," he stepped closer, my grip grew tighter, and he leaned down so that he could whisper between us. "You need to kill me."

"Okay," I wanted to reach out and slap him, but I didn't I just stood there shocked, "that isn't going to happen, John."

"John's tired, Ali, I'm tired." Asmodeus admitted but I still shook my head. His hand came out and rested on my neck, his thumb caressing my cheek with callous skin. "The only way to activate the blades, to give you the powers you need to defeat him, is to kill me. I am the last, and I was the beginning of all of this. Seraphiel is dead, I have no reason to continue, I long to be at peace."

"Seraphiel, the first angel of Thursday?" I questioned and felt the finger on my cheek twitch, "the one that Cas replaced, that Seraphiel?"

"Yes, he's been long dead, and Castiel…" Now I understood why Cas was following him, watching him, it wasn't just because of John, it was because of some long standing promise that Cas had made to the archangel long ago, a promise to protect his lover. "In order for this to work, you need to spill my blood."

"I can't, John," I whispered, as the tears started to fill my eyes. He was asking me to end his life, to end John's life and I didn't know if I had the strength, hell I didn't even know what setting these things in motion would do to me or Danni, but I turned and looked at Danni.

"It can't be her, Ali, you know this," he whispered to me as I quickly turned back to him. "Dean needs her, he needs someone to believe in. She maybe strong but not strong enough to complete what needs to be done. Dean will need her strength to get past this, just as much as he needed you in the beginning, to be a ground."

"He'll hate me," I whispered, "Sam will hate me, John, you do realize this, don't you?"

"It won't be forever." He whispered. "You can't let my death, John's death touch her, you can't let it cloud the light in her."

"So, she's the angel and I'm the demon?" I laughed but watched as he didn't respond. "So, totally fitting."

"It's in your bloodline," he said apologetically. A demon, and not only a demon but a Prince of Hell was trying to make amends for something that happened centuries ago. "Alison, this is something you are destined to do," he whispered, drawing me closer, his other hand came up to rest on the other side of my face, thumbs matching rhythms that stroked the skin there. His eyes locked on mine, and suddenly I was pulled into a vision.

The ground around me burned, buildings crumbled, people screamed, bodies littered the ground before me as I stood on top of a rusted old bus. I swear I was watching the episode where the Croatoan virus was let loose, where Lucifer had succeeded in getting Sam to say yes, but this was far, far worse and just as deadly.

John stood beside me, his hand reached out to grasp mine, closing around my small fingers as I wrapped mine around his, only able to catch two of them. He looked down at me as I watched the destruction with horror on my face.

"He is more powerful than heaven and hell, able to do so much more than just destroy demons and angels. He will do this to the Earth, to those who would oppose him. He will become a God."

John's voice sent shivers down my spine as I watched people killing people right in front of me, but I felt the vision fade and with tears in my eyes, I looked up at him. His dead eyes, those ones that I knew were the demon's, changed, letting me see the softer side of the man, the soul, inside and as he looked helplessly down at me, his knees buckled as we were brought back to the warehouse, away from the vision. I knelt with him, the blade still grasped in my hand as he looked at me with exhaustion

I saw the human John look me over as he brushes his fingers down my face, a weary smile on his lips as he touched my skin and he took a deep shuddering breath. I've seen that smile before, the one that told me he was almost done, that he had done all he could. It was the same one he gave me after finally pulling the second parent to the shore.

"You've become so beautiful," he whispered, even his voice was tired of the fight, and the tears began to well up in his eyes, matching the ones that were spilling from mine. "I still remember your eyes when you looked at me when I left you." He remembered saving me from the water, he remembered every part of it and he rested his hand on my cheek once again. Covering it with my own, with the free hand that needed his touch, I leaned into the warmth that pressed there. "Please, Ali, I'm tired. It's been so long since I've slept, I just want to sleep."

"Sam? Dean? John they need you," I whispered, my lips quivering as I tried to hold in the emotions, but he shook his head

"No, they need you," he looks at Danni, "and they need her. She's you're light, Ali, let her guide you through the darkness. Don't let it take over, don't let it take you!"

"The darkness had been taking me from the minute I got mixed up in this, John, but I can't do this, I can't take you from your boys, _our_ boys." I was pleading with him, hoping he would understand but he was just sitting there, grinning at me, because he knew what I needed to do just as much as I needed to do it.

I made this decision, I picked up a blade that I knew was far worse than any mark or First Blade that Dean had come in contact with. I chose this fight and I hadn't even talked to Danni about it.

 _Danni._

My eyes moved to look her over as she struggled to pull herself up to a seated position, the blood covering her now, and I could see that the demons had hurt her far worse than I thought. She was in pain, but she could see and hear everything that was going on. I watched as she pleaded with me, shook her head, begged me with just her eyes not to do this, not to give in, but I could feel the blade twirling in my fingers, rubbing against my palm and suddenly, I knows what I needs to do.

Turning back to the man who held me, I clamped my jaw closed for a moment, trying to catch my heart as the pain gather in me.

"Let me go, Ali," he whispered and I could feel the tug at my heart, closing my eyes tightly to let it all sink in. "I just want to sleep."

I opened my eyes, fingers wrapped around the mimosa/cedar handle of the blade and blinked back the tears. John gave me a slight smile, moved his hand to rest behind my neck and kissed me tenderly on the forehead.

I knew this was his goodbye. I knew what he wanted next. The end.

While his lips rest there, I closed my eyes tightly, bit down on my lip hard enough to draw blood and pulled back my arm, the blade's end, ready and pointed. I heard him slowly let out a breath, as if relief had finally come to him and with that, I thrust it forward. My breath caught as the blade slipped easily through clothing, flesh and past bone, lodging deep in his heart and I could hear John gasps.

I looked into his eyes, as he backed away, just before he looked down at the hilt that stuck out from his chest and he coughed as the stream of blood dribbled from his lips. I watched a smile creep up on his mouth, the blood pumping over the hilt and down across my hand, warm and rushing.

The last words he spoke, as he looked up into my eyes were, with that smile on his face, and peace in his breath would forever haunt me. "Thank you."

The noise behind me was the only thing that tore me away from the man in front of me and I turned just in time to see Dean and Sam enter the room. The look on Dean's face was of pure horror, and shock as he looked at the blade and his father's fading life. Sam looked at me in confusion, but he swallowed and stayed completely composed.

I turned back to John as I watched him take his last breath, the hands on my neck slowly falling and I knew, just knew he was gone. But that wasn't the end. Amazed and shocked I watched his eyes glow a bright yellow, so bright I had to close mine before it blinded me. It was as if he were an angel, the way they're body lit up just before they were gone, but this time, just like the other one I had seen, the demon explodes out of every pore as black dust.

With a deep breath, I pulled the blade from him dropped it to the ground, hearing nothing but the metal on the concrete and pulled John into my arms as his eyes faded and death took him, finally getting the rest that he so desperately wanted.

Trying to contain my own emotions, all I could do was breathe , to try and take as many deep breaths to keep from passing out as I could, but I turned my head, tear stained cheeks looking over at the men in the doorway. I watch Dean fall to his knees, hands in his hair as his eyes fill with tears. Sam, who had moved to check on Danni who is bleeding and leaning up against the wall, a blade beside her, suddenly rushed towards me to gather John up in his arms, and I let him, I let the man I loved take the father he had been searching for.

I couldn't hold back the pain I felt as I watched Sam touch John's cheek, and then the wound from the blade, before he looked up at me in shock. I swallowed back the pain, the guilt, pushed it down, and aside, made room for something else, for rage and hatred of Zadimus, and as that filled me, I glanced over at Dean.

He'll hate me for this, for the rest of my life, Dean will hate me for what I had to do, but not nearly as much as I hated myself.


	52. DH God Killers - 19

**Chapter 19**

I watched them with a certain disconnection, watched as Dean wrapped John tenderly in the shroud that he had found, something that had covered office furniture somewhere in the building, but the twine was from the back of Baby, stashed in her trunk with a world full of other possession. I watched Sam patch up Danni who was still leaning against the wall, her eyes locked on mine, as I moved the old pallets to the center of the room, far enough out of Dean's reach so that he couldn't possibly reach out and strangle me, though I would stand there and let him.

I didn't hear the footfalls, not until the heat from the body loomed over me, not a threatening presence, so… not Dean, and I looked up at Sam as I broke one of the last boards from the broken pallet I had been working on, making a stack so that John could be laid to rest. He stared down at me as I locked onto his eyes, but before long, I had to look away. He could hate me all he wanted, he could be pissed off about my decision but he could not stand there and stare at me like that. I was already kicking myself, I didn't need to be kicked by him.

I expected something, some questions as to why, some need to know, but all he did was reach down and grab ahold of the boards that I had placed aside and helped to build the tower. We did this in silence, moving like the well-oiled machine we had come to be, anticipating each other's moves, dancing like no one was watching even with the mundane tasks of building a pyre.

I stepped back when the last pallet was in pieces, glanced up at Sam as he did the same to me out of the corner of his eye. I watched his jaw clench as he looked down at my blood-soaked shirt, some of it my own, some of it the demons but most of it belonging to John and I frowned. I walked away from him, stripping down out of the flannel and walked over to the large basin that was in one of the farthest corners, a dark corner so that no one could see the blood that coated my arm.

Using what I could find at the sink, I turned on the water, watched it spout out some rust-tinged crap before changing to clear and warm, thankfully warm. My skin felt like ice as it was but there wasn't any soap, just the harsh steel wool that sat there. Thinking I deserved whatever I got, I grabbed it in my left hand and began to scrub away the blood until my arm was red and raw and there was no distinction between what had been there and what was there now.

I held it up, my right arm, checked it in the light that there was nothing left, and watched, just for a second to see if something, anything happened, but there was no power surge, no Super-Mario power-up, nothing and I let out a shaky breath, my lips quivering as I placed both hands on the basin and lowered my head.

Had it all been for nothing, John's death, the blades, the darkness, and Zadimus, _Zane_ , had his taunts and threats been just something that went along with the game to bring me to this point. I wanted to drown myself in the rising water of the sink, I needed the silence to surround me, but that was when I smelled the gasoline and turned to watch Dean pick his father up.

The white cloth, wrapped body seemed light as a feather to the man who carried it, which seemed odd because John was bigger than him, more solid, but you wouldn't have known if you had watched him walk over and set his father on top of that wood.

I moved around the outside of the room, debating on whether to go over and stand next to Sam, who probably could have used the support, but Dean moved to him instead. Danni pushed up from the wall, still leaning against it as Dean took out the lighter, a stoic look on his face and lit the end of the gas trail that started only a few feet from where he and Sam stood and then he backed up.

All of the windows were busted in the building, nothing was keeping that fire from building as the first flames caught and the rest followed it around the wood. I stood on the opposite side of them, my eyes locked on Sam, locked on Dean over the fire, the flames so close I could feel the heat, but I didn't back away, I just stared.

I should have been over there, holding them, both of them, but I was so angry with myself and felt so much hatred that I couldn't move. The only time I even took my eyes off from the boys was when Dean looked up, his chest puffed as he breathed in and he stared at me. The emotions there was loss, hurt and anger but there was no hatred and that made me mad, that in itself pissed me off and I looked away. Why didn't he hate me right then, why couldn't he do what I wanted him to do?

As the body caught fire, as I watched it start to burn, the rush of wings filled the room and I only glanced over because the boys did, to spy Cas standing near Danni. He had missed Charlie's funeral, he wasn't going to miss John's. Reaching out, the angel touched Danni, healing her of the battle wounds that caused her so much pain and I watched as she walked over to Dean, wrapped an arm around his and I couldn't help but smile as Dean kissed her on the head before turning back to the pyre.

Cas stood beside Sam and the two men looked at each other, Cas gave a small nod and they focused on what was in front of them but Cas looked above it, above the flames to land his sights right on me. I stared for a while, hoping he would see the hurt in me, but he never moved, didn't bother to come to my side and I raised a brow, turned and made it the long way around the room before I grabbed my backpack and the jacket I had removed.

With one last glance at the four of them, with just a quick once over, I hiked the bag up and disappeared soundlessly into the darkness of the building. When I made it to the door, stepped outside into the night, the muggy air hit me like a paperweight, and my lungs struggled to adjusts. It wasn't warm, just heavy and I placed the bag down long enough to pull on the jacket.

With a deep breath, I looked up at the building, at the light that shined from one of the windows and pulled the pack on one more time before starting down the road, unsure of where I was headed but I knew that I had to get as far away from them as possible, no matter how hard my heart broke in the process. But it seemed that there were other thoughts about it from the younger brother.

I had gotten about two miles away, a good thirty minutes before the headlights on a car came creeping up behind me. I never thought to listen to the sound of the engine, never even gave it a moment's hesitation as I stuck my thumb out, not bothering to look behind me, but kept walking as if they wouldn't stop. But it was when the Dodge tail lights went around me and stopped not more than five hundred feet up the road that I realized just what I was looking at.

I watched from the back as the car was put in park, lights still on and idling, and Sam got out, his face sad and frustrated as he stepped from the driver's side of the car and closed the distance between us with a more than a few easy strides.

I stopped and looked up at him, his hands clenched at his sides, and his jaw locked but he didn't say anything.

"Leave me alone, Sam," I snapped and finally went to move around him. I heard him take in a deep breath and his hand grasped my arm, not hard enough to hurt but strong enough to stop me. I glanced from it to the man who it belonged to and shook my head. "Let me go."

"Why did you run off?" Was his only question and I gave him a sarcastic smile, before it faded and I shook my head.

It wasn't "why did you kill my dad" or "why would you use those blades" or even "what possessed you to do that", no it was "why did you run off?" Apparently, the man didn't have his priorities straight. I yanked my arm from his hold, instantly missing his touch, but he had no right to ask a question without being angry. He should be angry for so much more than me leaving the building.

"You and Dean, you need time to heal, to wrap your head around the fact that you just gave your father, the man you have been searching for, a hunter's funeral." I answered to the best of my abilities, and by that I meant the ability to stay calm. "You don't need me there to remind you of the way he ended up there."

I started walking again, putting some distance between me and the man behind me, but I heard his boots turn on the gravel that covered the side of the road. The words that came next had me stopping in my tracks.

"I do," he spoke, but he didn't yell it, the wind carried it to me and this made me freeze on the spot, my head down as I looked at my feet.

I drew in a breath, trying to calm my racing heart as I heard him approach. I didn't move, afraid that there might be a knife at the end of his hands but when both fell on my shoulders and he turned me towards him, I dropped the pack and let him pull me in. Sam's arms were safe, they were warm and they made everything just seem to disappear, or at least waver enough so that emotions I felt just crashed through and suddenly I was sobbing like an idiot.

My knees gave out as his strength held me up but when I wanted to go down, he came with me, kneeling as my arms finally came up and my hands grasped his shirt and the realization of all that I had done in the past few days was nothing but pure evil.

"Why did you do it?" He whispered against my head, his lips not a breath away from my skin and I knew that question was coming.

"He was tired," I replied, "John was so tired." Sam inhaled, as if he were taking in the smell of the smoke that clung to me, or what little bit of the scent of my shampoo but he didn't let it out. "The demon inside broke him, and he wanted peace."

"Cas gave him that." Sam's fingers ran through my knotted hair, gently caressing the tangles from it, as he smoothed it over my back. "When the fire started to burn down, Cas brought Tessa, and Tessa brought Dad's soul to heaven. She said he had fought long and hard enough, he deserved some peace."

I backed away from him, my sobs totally under control and I moved, quickly, getting to my feet as I grabbed the bag once again, ready to be on the move but I couldn't step away, even if I wanted to. I stood with my back to him for the longest time before I shook my head and pivoted in the spot I stood.

"Why aren't you fuming right now?" I questioned, the anger building in me. "You should hate me… you should… want to… you should want me dead, Sam!" He looked up with hurt in his eyes, but the darkness, the hard evidence of his past was still prominent. This man before me hadn't gone soft, no he was still a stone-cold killer but when he looked at me, all I saw was the way he loved me and that in itself broke my heart. His eyes glistened with tears, not flowing ones that you would see if he were anything less than the man he was, but just the spark of emotions that he held so close and I dropped the bag again. "I should be dead!"

With that last statement is was up, he rushed at me and cupped my cheeks with his hands, bringing his lips down on mine. This was his answer, this one little gesture, the one act of devotion. I wasn't sure if it made me more upset that he was kissing me, or that he was doing it with such love that it blocked the anger, that it pushed the self-hatred aside.

His kiss wore on, it grew deeper and the more he explored the kiss, the more my body let go of what it wanted to hang onto. His hand moved from my cheek to my hair and the other one to my waist and onto the small of my back, keeping me locked against him as I let go of my resolve and let my hands move up to his hair, tangling them there until we were both breathless.

"Come back with me," he pleaded.

"Dean," I whispered, expressing my fear in that one word.

"Don't worry about my brother," he sighed, his forehead against mine but so close to my ear, "I'll protect you from him. He just needs a little time." I didn't speak, didn't move not until he spoke again. "Ali, please, I need you."

I nodded, and waited for him to take the lead, because I wasn't going unless he was sure. His hand moved from my hair down to grasp my hand and when he let me go, grabbing the pack by my feet, he lead me to the car and opened the door for me, letting me slide in. I jumped at the sound of it closing, but the fear eased when Sam slipped in behind the wheel, his hand instantly finding mine, and I looked up at his reassuring wink, taking that as a cue that everything was going to be fine and let myself relax back in the seat.

Danni stared at me as we got out of the car, the door to the room she shared with Dean was wide open and I could see him sitting at the table with the bottle of whiskey in his hand as he stared at the floor. I wanted so much to run in and grab him, hold him and tell him it was okay, but just like Sam, I wanted him to hate me so much more. Sam swung the bag up and over his shoulder as he took my hand, looking over at Danni as he gave me a gentle tug and pulled me towards our door. Once there, with the door left wide open, I sat down on the bed and let Sam watch me, his eyes burrowing into me.

Couldn't I just go to sleep? Couldn't I just forget the day and get buried in the darkness? But I knew I couldn't because Zane hadn't let me sleep, not without disturbing it somehow. I rubbed my forehead, closed my eyes and tried to keep them open, feeling physically and mentally drained, but the new presence in the room had me looking up and at the door.

Sam stopped his activities, and also looked at Danni, who was there with her arms crossed. I licked my lips, waiting on the fight but she just gestured her head out the door, wanting me to follow. My eyes went back to Sam, not for permission but to see if he knew what might be going on. He just shrugged and slowly, I rose, my feet hitting the carpeted floor.

Maybe this was it, maybe this was the way that Dean ended it all, taking me into the back alley, grabbing me by surprise and shoving a blade through my heart. And maybe, just maybe, I welcomed it as I stepped past her and disappeared around the corner, walking into the darkness.

I stared her down, having whirled around at the feeling of her grabbing my arm. I could see the pain on her face, the confusion in her eyes and she just shook her head. I had just done one of the worst possible things I could have ever imagined in my life and she was staring me down like I was probably the world's scariest mass murderer. And the rage inside, the one that had coursed through me since that very first moment I had drawn it from the angel, pooled in me, seeping into every vein and nerve ending. It was all I could do to clench my fist and hold back a swing.

"Ali, what the hell were you thinking?" Her voice was low and calm, but to me it was like fingers on a chalkboard, grating on the back of my eyes as I winced in pain. "What did you do?"

"I just left two boys orphans." I snapped and shook my head, "I just blackened my soul with the very thing can never be taken away, and I would do it all over again if I had the chance because the one thing I need to do in this world is kill that evil son of a bitch!"

"Did you even think about Sam and Dean?" her words stopped me.

I didn't tell her what had happened to me when Asmodeus showed me the future under Zane's reign, I didn't tell her all of the things he had done to me in the warehouse, and I was pretty sure that Dean hadn't either, but was I thinking about Sam and Dean? They were the first ones I thought of, how it would affect Dean to sees his father dead, how it would be for Sam to hold his limp body in his arms and then I thought back to everything Dean had told me, every little flinch on Sam's face when the man's name was mentioned. Yeah, I thought about Sam and Dean every second, and I would still do it again.

I leaned in towards her, my hands tight at my side and I licked my lips, keeping my breathing evil. "Go back in side with those boys, stay close to Cas, Danni, because I swear to God, right now, I am not in a good place."

"When have you been? When since you have arrived, have you been in a good space? Between the little snarky attitude with the phone call on the way here to walking in and seeing you in Dean's arms in the warehouse the first time, when have you been open with me? What the hell is going on between you two?" Danni questioned through clenched teeth.

"If I have to tell you again that there is nothing going on between us, I think I might swing," I answered, looked up to the sky and smiled a little. "Dean loves you, not sure if he's told you yet, not really something I need to know, but apparently, you do."

"He loves you, and you know it!" Danni snapped back, "I've heard him say it to you."

"Yeah but he isn't in love with me and I'm sorry if he hasn't told you, that is not my fault. He loves me, yeah, sure like that pesky little sister he never wanted, but there is _nothing_ between us." I stuffed my hands in my pockets and backed up, the urge I was fighting was just under the surface and I didn't want to hurt her.

"Then don't touch him." Danni ordered. "Stop brushing him on the way by, don't let your fingers reach out for him, because you do it, you know, you seek him out just as much as he does you."

Stop? She wants _me_ to stop? I took a breath and nodded. Now that Dean hated me, and you could see it in his eyes as we burned his father, there was no way that man was ever touching me again unless it was to put a dagger through my heart, the same way that I took care of John. I was agreeing, I wanted to agree, I wanted to keep him as far away from me as I could but my mind had other thoughts, and I growled in frustration, literally growled as my body started to pace.

"You can't do it, can you? Just thinking about not doing it is setting you on edge, isn't it?" She taunted, and I stared up at her, seething in my own skin.

"Danni, just turn your ass back around and go inside! Dean needs you, that's why I did this, because he needs someone strong and light to help him through this, not someone like me." My feet the ground at an alarming rate and the distance between strides lessened. "Please, just go inside!"

"No," she laughed, and though I don't know why it was funny, I know it pissed me off and I rolled my eyes before I closed them. This was not going to be good. "You can't even admit to me that you want him, ME the one person you should be totally honest with!"

"Fine!" I roared and stepped up to her, eye to eye with my sister, locked in a stare. "I want him!" I admitted and watched the hurt in her face as I seemingly acknowledged her biggest fear. "I want him more than anything to be happy with the person he loves, to live a long and happy life and I want him to know that no matter what, I have his back, but you know what, I want Dean just as I want Sam to be part of my life too. And I'm sorry if you can't understand that! So you take your suspicions, your anger and your allegations and you shove them straight up your ass!"

She did almost exactly what I had expected her to, she swung and I let it fly, hitting me square in the jaw. Closing my eyes, I let the feeling flow through me. She had caught me right about the spot that Dean had hit me and it smarted, but it didn't knock me out, not this time and I smiled as I reached up and put my fingers to the bruised and swelling area.

I picked my head up, wiped the blood with the back of my hair and looked down at it. "Feel better?"

"Ali, you can go to hell!" She snapped and I watched as she turned away, her ponytail moving like a whip, barely missing my face and I wiped my hand on the side of my jeans as she disappeared around the corner.

My tongue darted out, tasting the blood on the end of my lip and I shook with the pleasure-pain that seeped through me. I wanted to cry, to let out all of the emotions, but there wasn't anything I could do to release them. I had killed John, I had watched as the boys wrapped his body, set him on top of that pile of broken pallets, doused him with gasoline and lit him up, and yet I didn't shed a tear.

I had watched Dean break down, walk out of the room and smash everything in the bathroom, yet I didn't flinch after it happened, and Sam, the way he looked at me, the darkness that crept back up into his eyes, I knew I put that there, but the only thing I felt was turned on, like I wanted to know what he could do with that anger, do to me. I wanted to know what damage he could cause.

I faced the wall as I stood there, my eyes closed as it all flashed at me, and as my heart raced and my breathing grew hard, the anger filled me once more and I swung. I sent that clenched fist flying out at whatever was there and it connected with the brick wall and with all the force behind it, broke through the layers of mortar and red brick, until it coated me in dust. But it didn't hurt!

I opened my eyes, looked at the eight-inch hole in front of me and down at the crumbled remains on the ground in confusion and then brought my hand up towards my face. The knuckles were red and raw but not bleeding.

As I stared, I watched the redness slowly turn to unmarred flesh and glanced around to see if anyone was watching. That was when the pain struck. Not the kind you would get from blasting a wall but a deep burning, somewhere in the marrow of your bones, and it moved upwards to the surface.

I watched the veins in my arms begin to glow a deep red, I could see everything through the thin layer of skin, even watched as the pulse in my wrist beat with the thump of my heart but the pain surged again, putting me down on my knees as I held tightly to that one arm with the other hand, hoping to stop the spread by cutting off the circulation but nothing worked.

It moved, from where the John's blood had coated my arm upwards and across my chest. I felt the glow the fire as I closed my eyes and held back the scream but over the pain, I heard Sam, his voice calling out to me. I turned from the wall, trying to find my voice to call out to him, but I had only the ability to breath as I leaned against the mess that I created.

He came around the corner, stopped and watched me with fear and concern as the glow slowly began to fade but the burning in my hand continued. I looked up at him, begging for help with my eyes before I looked down and heard him move. Sam gathered me against him, pulling me towards his chest as his arms wrapped around me and one of his large hands enveloped mine, his thumb skirted over the pad of meaty flesh just below my right thumb and I winced in pain.

My eyes moved traveling the length of my arm to rest on the mark that was etched into the skin, like a brand-new tattoo, not red and raised like a brand but there, lightly done as if it were a shadow, but when Sam touched it, it went right to those pain/pleasure receptors in my brain and I moaned, despite the strange exhaustion from the heat that I had just experienced.

"What happened?" Sam whispered as the grip on my shoulder tightened and he tried to hold me as close as he could to his body, all I could do in response was shake my head. I felt him look up at the wall, and then he brought his lips back down to kiss my head. "Danni came in pissed, and she went down. She was holding her arm and screaming." His hand left mine, taking the feeling away from my palm and he tilted my head back so that I could look into his eyes. "Ali, what did you do?"

"The blades," I whispered, the first time I could find my voice and it still cracked. "The fight Danni and I had, the rage I felt, the swing I took, it activated the blades."

"Okay," he answered, taking in a breath and his lips touched mine gently, reassuringly, and repeated against them, "okay."

"No, Sam, it's not." I breathed, and swallowed. "I just gave Asmodeus and Zane exactly what they wanted. I activated the blades, I gave Danni the light, and I took on the darkness." My eyes locked on his and I shook my head. "I'm afraid, Sam, so afraid."

I watched his eyes fill up with emotions, the darkness in them covered by love and a fear of his own as he brushed back my hair and kissed me softly again.

"Don't be afraid, I'm right here," he pleaded, wanting to not be as confused as he was, unsure of what to do next.

"Sam," my voice cracked and I let my fingers run up his arm, to the back of his neck, where I tangled them into his hair, wrapping little strands around them, like the way he was wrapped around my heart. "I don't think I can fight it."

I brought his lips to mine, hot, heavy and needing but it took all I had just to keep that branding kiss from becoming more, because I wanted him. I wanted to own him, I wanted to see just how dangerous he could be, and I wanted to make it hurt, not for him but for myself. As his tongue flicked at my mouth, parting them only enough so he could slip in, I moaned against him, tasted the beer that he had been sipping on, the way the saltiness of his lips seemed to become so addictive and suddenly I pulled away.

His eyes were dark with lust, his hand cupping my face as he held himself away, both of us panting under the intensity of the need, but he didn't move, his eyes were locked on mine.

"We'll fight it together, sweetheart," he sighed, his warm breath against me, and it calmed me, like he was a shield. "We'll fix this, I promise. I'll find a way."


	53. DH God Killers - 20

**Chapter 20**

My feet wouldn't stop moving, I paced the room like a caged animal, too angry to stay put, too afraid to venture closer to the window, or even to the other room where Sam was talking to his brother, to Danni.

My eyes were flashing, changing the colors of the world around me and it took everything I had to adjust to them, until that door opened and I stopped dead in my tracks, waiting for the attack, but Sam walked in, his hands raised, as if to let me know he was unarmed and meant no harm, which only had me curious on what he was doing.

"He wants me dead, doesn't he?" I whispered, not conscious that my thoughts had slipped from my lips.

"What?" Sam asked as he stepped closer, slowly, but still closer and he palmed my cheek, my eyes locking on his. "No, Ali, no! Dean doesn't want you dead, you need to stop that."

"I can't," I admitted, closing my eyes as I pressed against his warmth, "I have so much hate in me."

"It's the blades talking, the power," he reassured me, "it's the darkness."

"Sam, what John… what Asmodeus showed me, the way the world would be if Zane had his way," I shook my head, my heart breaking again at the images, "you were dead, Dean was dead… I can't… I couldn't survive if I lost any of you."

"You aren't going to lose anyone, Ali, we're working on it," he kissed me softly before he pulled back and his free hand came up to move my hair from my face, "give me time, I swear I'll fix it."

With one more quick kiss, he grabbed the large book that he and Cas had been looking at and disappeared out of the room. My heart raced as I leaned on the counter, trying to stop the flashes of smoky red, and finally, I moved to the table, grabbed the God Killer blade that I had set there and tucked it into my boot. As it touched my skin, the vision stopped, the race of my heart eased and I couldn't help but smile.

I stepped up to the door, opened my ears to the sounds of the room next door. The window was open, the conversation wasn't at all quiet and I could hear Sam trying to explain what we had found on the parchment but I could hear only one other thing, the same question from the two other in the room.

"You left her alone in there?" Dean growled and the grin widened on my face, not sure why I felt his question funny, but the voice I heard next was Danni.

"With the blade, Sam? You left her alone with the blade?"

And that was my cue.

I disappeared around the corner of the building, weaving my way through the back streets of Winchester, and I knew where I was going. I wasn't ever just a passenger in the car, I always made notes of landmarks and other places that might just need to be remembered and I found myself headed towards Old Town.

The Impala rumbled by on several occasions, the distinct sound of the Charger whistled in my ears and every time either of them passed, I ducked behind a building, stopped just short of the corner so I could see them but they never spotted me, and that didn't really make me happy, but I couldn't seem to get rid of the stupid grin on my face.

Chase! That was what it was, a great game of chase.

Entering the quieter side of Old Town, I walked calmly through the street as if I were just like everyone else, just a tourist, but I could feel the blade against my leg, and I could almost see inside every one of the people that surrounded me. I was getting closer to rush hour, closer to the walkways filling up, but this was also June and the start of the tourist season already had the place packed.

I just passed an alley, one that started out bright and sunny but seemed to fade into darkness, and the power that erupted from it made me stop. Looking around at where I was, I noticed the sign for the small Hideaway Café diagonal to where I stood, in the exact spot that Zane had stood before, when he decided that flying tables were just the right kind of thing to get my attention.

Glancing down the darkening alley, I turned and found my feet were silent on the cobblestone. Strange enough because I was wearing boots and being that it was almost like a tunnel, the sounds should have reverberated so loudly that they hurt my ears, but I heard nothing but silence.

Just as I crossed the line, the one that seemed to be drawn by dark and light, I felt the power shift, the lighter side taking over the darkness and I grinned. I hadn't recognized it before, but now, just on that side of reality, I caught the subtle hint of angel and the smell of his cologne.

Castiel stepped out of the darkness, from behind a large garbage bin, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans and I let out a breath, letting the six feet or so between us remain, as I looked him over from head to toe. He seemed to glow, almost like Dean and Danni, so much light in him, but he toned it down, so that it didn't hurt to look at and I felt the power in me reaching out to him.

"What did you do?" Cas whispered and I couldn't help the small laugh that escaped me.

"You know what I did, Castiel, you know I killed John." I answered and shook my head.

"Yes, of course, that I knew, but you're different," I watched as he tilted his head just slightly, as if this would give him a better view of what was inside me. "The darkness is taking over, I can feel it on you."

"The blades activated," I shrugged and held up my hand, letting him see the shadow of a tattoo against my skin. "Not sure what the hell it means, but it can hurt like a bitch when it wants too."

"May I?" He questioned as he stepped closer, holding his hand out, palm up and though I didn't see the harm in it, every hair on the back of my neck was standing up, waiting for his touch. When I hesitated, as Cas stopped and waited, my heart began to race as the blade against my skin began to grow warm. Gently, I placed my hand in his palm up and his fingers curled around my wrist, two on either side, his thumb running over the mark and I hissed at the pins and needles he created. "I'm worried about this, Ali, are you sure that you can handle what you're becoming?"

"I don't even know what that is, Cas, how should I know if I can handle it?" His thumb moved from the mark and rested in the middle of my palm, pressing down and I could feel it start to heat up. I watched as the light under his pad began to spread up my hand and sighed when it disappeared up my wrist. Like a high, I suddenly felt energized but mellowed out at the same time. He had given me something, a little bit of light to counter the darkness. "Can Danni do this?"

"In time…soon, I hope." Cas sighed, and released me. "Danni hasn't had the exposure to the light like you have had to the darkness, she isn't as "amped" up as you, if that would be what you might call it."

"So she needs a boost, and you can do that, right?" I questioned and watched him nod, but there was also concern in his expression. "You don't want to give Danni any power? Why?"

"I see what you are going though, and it worries me." At least Cas was honest.

"Sam wants to fix me," I stated and shrugged, watched as his eyes came back up to mine and locked on blue for blue. "What if there's nothing to fix? I mean, what if this is just who I am, who I've always been?"

"You're…" he started but his lips thinned as he thought about it, glancing around the alley before he came back to look me in the eyes again. "You're not darkness, Ali, you're not a creature of evil, it's not in your nature."

"Funny, it feels awfully natural to me." I grinned, but it wasn't a funny grin, more of a sarcastic one that if he were human he would have taken as "you got to be kidding me," but this was Castiel, not a normal man. "Tessa, did she get John where he needed to be?"

"Yes, John is safely in heaven."

"And Asmodeus?" I watched his expression change once more, unsure of how to answer it.

"He's…" his eyes drifted from mine, "wherever Princes of hell go."

"What do you need to tell me, Cas?" I questioned and watched him shift his weight.

"Danni," he cleared his throat and took my hand again. "A side effect of the light is that she will very much become like an angel, there will be no grey area for her. She will see right and wrong almost in black and white."

"Is that what's going on with her now?" I questioned, realizing that the two of us had been wrong from the start. My anger and her obsession, they had been off since the moment we arrived in the same place together. Not before on the way down, but almost the moment we stood in the same room, things had begun to change. "Her endless obsession with Dean and I, the way we connect? You're telling me she's somehow seeing this as wrong?"

"Well, you are with Sam." He almost rolled his eyes, almost but I saw him refrain from it.

"Okay, I think I get what you're putting out there," I smiled and shook my head, "she's got it in her angelic head that whatever connection Dean and I have is wrong?"

"She has a war going on inside, Ali, not of what is right and wrong between the two of you, but who to protect more, you or Dean. She feels the need to protect you from each other, not both, which is why she can't let it go." I let my head drop forward, confused beyond anything that there was nothing I could do to stop her from feeling that way especially if it was anything like the war going on inside of me. Cas placed a hand on my shoulder and I felt his fingers digging in, trying to comfort me, but I could also feel the energy he was pushing. "It hasn't come to the surface yet, Ali, but she'll get to a point where she will feel the need to choose one or the other of you and that might be an issue."

"Yeah, remove the obstacle in the way, that gets rid of the problem." I raised my head to look at him. "So, it will be either kill me and get rid of the darkness, or kill Dean and…" I paused for a minute and took a deep breath, "get rid of the light, maybe that's why he can calm me down, Dean has the light in him too."

"Just like Sam carries a darkness," Cas added and I shook my head, stepping back out of his reached. I let the feelings take over, moaning as I felt the anger build up in me and I clenched my teeth as it grew.

"You could have stopped this Cas!" I snapped placing my back against the wall but I stared at him, feeling the darkness flow over me and the smoky red took over and I could see the light that flowed through him. "You could have just done what I had asked you, turned it off, but you didn't do it. Now Danni," I leaned forwards, nauseous, and closed my eyes, "Danni will have to choose between us!"

"Ali!" Cas snapped, coming forward.

"No!" I growled at him, "if this can't be changed, you better do what you promised me you would. You better fix this!" I closed my eyes as lightning flashed before them and I felt the heat down in the pit of my stomach. Doubled over in pain, I reached out a hand, fingers feeling in the darkness that was starting to close in. "Cas, help. What the hell is happening to me?"

"Ali," his hand grasped mine but the shock of it alone had him pull back. "Ali, look up at me."

"I can't see!" I snapped but lifted my head so that I thought I might be aimed in the right direction. The light that pierced through was blinding, and I raised a hand to look at the outline of the angel, a white outline of a man. "Jesus, you're too bright!"

"You can see past my vessel," he sighed and I watched that bright hand come towards me again, which made me shrink away. "Let me help."

"Don't touch me," I whispered, not afraid but angry, "Cas, I might hurt you!"

"Oh, I don't think that's a might," _his_ voice invaded and my eyes scanned the rest of the darkness for the red glowing outline of the demon that stepped into the alley with us. "I know she will." Zane stopped, his figured placed his hands behind his back and faced Castiel and I was suddenly watching a standoff. "Castiel, my father's? Mother's… parent's replacement. So good of you to keep John safe all these years."

"Zadimus," Cas sighed. "You need to stop this, you're going to kill her!"

"Cas, Cas, Cas, oh ye of little faith," Zane turned in my direction and stepped closer, I felt the heat become a blaze as the distance shrank and I turned my glowing eyes towards Cas, begging for help, but when Zane's fingers touched my forehead, the pain stopped, the burning disappeared and my sight went back to normal. "I wouldn't ever let such a precious thing die."

My legs gave out on me as I slid down the wall, exhausted but slightly on the energized side as well and my eyes were locked on the angel, whose blade slipped down from the sleeve of his jacket. Cas moved forward, advanced at the man who was just about to crouch before me and I watched as Zane flicked his wrist towards Cas. The angel seemed to soar off his feet and hit the wall with a hard thud. All I could see, from where I sat, was the limp hand of my friend stretched out in the darkness of the alley, the angel blade three feet from him and I felt the tips of Zane's fingers on my chin.

"My, my, look at you, my precious Kitten," he smiled with glee, "all juiced up with nothing to work your aggression out on."

"Don't call me that!" I growled and turned my eyes towards him. Zane smiled, used his free hand to run along my hairline before his thumb traced my lips. "Get the hell away from me!"

"You haven't even heard why I'm here." And oh, how I would have loved to punch him in the teeth. Placing both hands against the wall, I used it as leverage to push myself up to my feet, still a little on the shaking side but sturdy enough to keep me up and I swiped his hands away from me, but he grabbed ahold of my wrist.

"There's nothing that you can offer that would make me even want to listen." His smile turned evil and he pushed me against the wall, using all of his body to keep me there as he took hold of my free hand and wrapped his fingers around both of my tiny wrists, holding them tightly above my head. With force he wrapped his hand around my neck and held my head against the brick, making it so I couldn't look away.

"You are strong, more so than I thought you would ever be." His breath was against my face as he leaned in and stoked his lips along my cheek, close to my ear, "I want you to be my bride, rule beside me when I take over this world." His words alone brought the visions that John… that Asmodeus had shown me back to the forefront of my thoughts. Sam and Dean dead, Danni and Cas destroyed and me standing on the top of some damned bus looking over the mayhem with John right beside me. "Forget your little hunter, forget your Winchester, I can love you so much more than him."

"Sam," I whispered, as the tear fell from my eyes, the vision of his bloodied and broken body flashed through my mind and I struggled against his grip. "Let me go you son of a bitch!"

"You'll change your mind, Love, you really will." He smiled, his lips touching the corner of mine and suddenly he started singing, badly, "I can show you the world, shining, shimmering, bloody…"

"Screw off!" I growled and brought my knee up, connecting with his sensitive groin.

Zane doubled over in pain, backing off enough to free my hands and I reached into my boot to grab the blade. I brought it up as he rose, more pissed off that I had gotten the jump on him than anything and I swung, bringing it down across his face. I watched a red slash appear, glowing as if his essence was draining out and suddenly he was on me, grabbed the wrist of the hand that held the blade and slammed it against the wall.

I released it on impact and heard it fall to the floor as the stars flashed behind my eyes when my head connected to the wall as well. Dazed, I fought back at him with all I had but still nothing seemed to fend him off. He held me again, this time his arm was across my throat, pressing in as he cut off the air and I raked at him with my nails.

"Shh," he whispered as his hand ran down from under my arm, over my breast, and down to my waist. I struggled against him as his fingers came around and flicked at the button of my jeans. "Ut-ah, my sweet, just stay still."

"Fuck you!" I snapped and kicked at him again. I wasn't going down like this, wasn't going to submit to him and suddenly I felt it, the anger build up in my body, the heat in my stomach and I saw the flash across my eyes. I stopped clawing at his arms and reached out to dig my nails into his face as I cupped his cheeks in my hands.

With everything I had, I pulled at the dark energy that he released and I pulled with so much force that I screamed as it entered me. The heat in my stomach rose to my chest and flashes of his memories burned into my brain.

"ALI!" Cas' voice was just a whisper above the scream and suddenly there were two wails of pain, mine and Zane's but it was the angel's white light that stopped it all. "ALI! STOP!"

Cas forcefully broke us free, practically throwing Zane across the alley and he slammed into the wall, the brick crumbling behind him, powdering down on top of him as he landed. Cas held me up, pulled me to him and wrapped his arms tightly around me as he looked at the demon on the ground. He had snatched up the blade, held it tightly in his hand and with one more look at Zane, put his head down on my shoulder, blocking my view of anything except the softness of his black hair and the sound of his wings.

I'm not sure where he took me, but it wasn't the motel, it really wasn't anywhere, just a cabin in the woods, but I was too much of something and not enough of the other to figure it out. While the pain of syphoning the energy from Zane had been unreal, the high I caught from it was electrifying but my body was telling me it had been through battle and all I could do was lay on the old dingy couch Cas had set me down on.

"Where are we?" I whispered, looking around at the little shack and watched as Cas made his way back towards me with a bowl of water and a cloth.

"This was John's cabin." He said softly as he looked around, before brushing my hair from my neck. "You have cuts where his nails dug in."

I pushed his hands away and sat up on the couch, letting the room spin as I adjusted to the sudden movement. "I'm fine, Cas, they'll heal." He sat back on his heels and looked at me as I moved about on the couch, then spotted the blade on the end table behind my head. "That thing cut him and he didn't mend, why?"

"It's made to destroy anything supernatural, Ali, including Zadimus." Cas answered and stood, moving towards the small kitchen area again. "I was out for a while, what did he say to you."

"That he wanted me to stand by him and be his bride when he took over the world," I whispered and let the image of Sam cloud my thoughts. Cas sighed and I looked over as he put his hands on the sink and looked out the window. "Isn't going to happen, Cas, not while I'm alive."

"There is a distinct possibility that it might," he replied, which had me sitting up further on the couch, clinging to the back of it as he turned to look at me. "He was right, you are more powerful than anything we've seen, and the darkness as it in you grows in you, will take over any feelings for Sam."

"Ain't going to happen, Cas!" I growled and swung my legs over off the edge of the couch, a wave of dizziness hit me and I leaned forward, elbows to my knees as I placed my palms to my forehead. "Why are we here anyway?"

"This cabin is surrounded by a dampening field, one that no only keeps the powers out, but also keeps yours contained." He moved to sit on the chair across from me, and I could see his sneakers as he sat down, my eyes adjusting to the room as it stopped spinning. "You took in so much of his energy, so much of mine that I was afraid of an overload."

"Overload, is that what you call it," I smiled and shook my head, bad idea by the way if you are already spinning, "feels like a nasty hangover."

"It might take a bit for you to adjust to it, for your body to release some of it." Cas moved again, this time he placed both hands on my shoulders and pushed me back so that my head rested against the couch and I was looking up at him. The room seemed to stop spinning and I felt the coolness of a rough towel against the skin just above my eyes. "This way is better for your equilibrium, it will help with the dizziness."

"Cas," I whispered and reached out, placing my hand on his wrist. His lips went taunt, but I could tell that he was just watching for the moment when I started to syphon off from him again, a moment that didn't come. "Sam and Dean, Danni, they need to know I'm here and not off on some psycho killing spree."

"I'll," he turned his hand so that he was holding mine instead of me gripping his wrist. "I'll bring them work, Ali, but I don't know if it's safe to bring them here."

"I want Sam," I said softly as I closed my eyes, letting him see the image that Zane had locked in my head. "I need to know that he's all right."

"I'll do what I can, but I can't promise that I can bring him here, the magic is too strong."

"It's blood magic, Cas, Sam will be able to walk right through the door."

"How do you know?" I lifted my free hand and pointed at the door, opening my eyes just a slit, I followed his movements as he turned and looked at it.

"The AO3 symbol on the door, it's the same one on the research room in the basement, the same as the one on the blades."

With a confused look on his face, he turned back to me. "You shouldn't be able to enter here then, the magic should have kept you out."

"Blood magic like that doesn't just mean blood, it means essence as well," I sighed, and shook my head. "Asmodeus is part of me, part of Zane, which becomes part of me, and the blades," I raised my palm up so that he could see the darkening tattoo, "the blades are part of me now, which links me to every part of that symbol."

"How do you…" I stopped him with a smile.

"I read it somewhere once," I answered and closed my eyes as the world started to grow warm. I groaned, letting out the pain as the heat began to spread and Cas was by my side again. "God, if this is dampened, I would hate to see what it's like out there." My eyes flashed opened and I stared at Cas. "Go!" I ordered and watched his brows furrow, "go check on Danni, if this is happening to me, what's going on with her?"

"You have a point," Cas took a deep breath and I wondered if it were for effects or just a habit he had gotten into. "I'll let them know you're here and I'm sure with that knowledge Sam will want to be here as well."

"Thank you, Cas." I whispered and closed my eyes. With a whoosh of wings, I knew he was gone and I let the heat settle before the emptiness of what I hoped was some kind of rest took over.

I stood in the back alley of a bar, facing off with three demons. I could see their gray faces, the black eyes and the smoky red haze that surrounded their bodies and I twirled the blade in my hand, felt the smile move across my face as I just stood there.

"So you're the demon bitch that Crowley wants so badly." One of them, we'll call him George, spoke up. A stout man, rough around the edges but still a demon, he was bookended by two more, we'll say Lenny and Moe. Lenny was tall, muscular but nowhere close to the size of the boys, and Moe, well, he had that name for a reason, just odd looking and clumsy, but they were ready to fight.

"Crowley's looking for me," I gave them a snarky laugh, "why doesn't that surprise me?" I shook my head. "Everybody wants me for something, but no one is asking me."

"Yeah you're a really popular scank!" Lenny replied and I looked up at him from under my lashes.

I decided I don't really like Lenny, and I moved quickly, faster than they could see and stuck that blade in him so far that the guard touched his blood-soaked shirt. His face was one of pure shock that I had gotten the jump on him but as I watched him light up, seeing everything that made him, bones, muscles, blood, I shrugged.

"You should really be nice and not call people names." I hissed through clenched teeth and back away just the demon dusted out of him and his body crumpled to the ground. Admiring the work that the blade did, I was reminded of Dean's own demon blade, but my thoughts were interrupted by the other two in the room.

I turned on them, ready for a fight and smiled. The dance was simple, this time, because the blade seemed to do all the work, slice and jab, slice, twirl, jab. Just the tip until was time and then I thrust it in, and they got their licks as well, once across my jaw, the other to the stomach, but it didn't stop me, dazed me a bit, but didn't stop me from moving.

Moe went down rather fast, of course a knife to the back of the neck would do that to you if you fumbled on your feet and tripped past someone with said knife, but George seemed to be more of a challenge. We circled each other, his angel blade against my God Killer, not sure who was more well-armed but it didn't matter, I was done playing, I just wanted to go back to the couch and rest.

He came at me, swung, missed and I caught him across the chest with the blade. He turned, swiped, catching the tip of the angel blade across my upper arm, which stung and didn't heal, and which pissed me off as I turned and jabbed at him again, catching his gut, but still not deep enough. It was a game, a tiring game that I was done with and as he ran at me once more, thrusting his blade forward, I caught his arm under mine and brought the blade up under his jaw.

His eyes were full of horror that such a little thing had gotten him, but as his eyes locked on me, at the blood dribbled from his mouth. I shook my head.

"Tell Crowley, he can go to hell." I growled but then remembered that this demon wasn't going back. "Never mind," I ripped the blade from him and watched as he lit up like a candle. "I'll tell him myself."

George fell into a lifeless heap on the ground, and I let my hand fall to the side, the blade suddenly weighing more than I could carry and I let my head drop forward, the red haze clearing from my vision as I took in a deep breath. Sounds and smells surrounded me and I figured out that I was standing not only behind a bar, but one that was in Old Town, and the smell of burgers filled the air.

"Ali?" His voice was deep, threatening and I closed my eyes at the sound of it, wanting to reach out for him, to touch, to feel the comfort but as I lifted my head, turned it to look at the alley entrance way, I saw him standing here, green eyes filled with dread, blade in hand, fist clenched for a fight and I let his name slip from my lips.

"Dean."


	54. DH God Killers - 21

**Chapter 21**

The world seemed to stand still just for a moment as I stared at Dean, the look in his eyes, one of anger and disappointment, or was that hate and uncertainty, either way I took a breath, because no matter what I did from that moment forward, from any moment since John's death, Dean was never going to forgive me.

Slowly, I closed my eyes, knowing there was no way to win any battle that the older Winchester brought to me, because I wouldn't fight, I would just accept what he lashed out, even if that meant death. Sound seemed to stop with that one little motion, the wind didn't blow, the earth didn't move and when I opened my eyes, I was staring at a wall, one that was covered in drawings, papers that were just tacked about in some obscure fashion.

"Ali?" I heard my name once more, but this time the voice was just a bit higher and the surprise in it was more of a relief. I turned on the spot, dropped the bloody blade from my hand and listened to it hit the floor.

Sam stood next to the doorway, his eyes wide with confusion and I shook myself out of the daze before I drew in a deep breath. Sound rushed at me all at once, and overwhelming hit to my ears and I reached out for him, not sure if he moved or I did, but his strong arms were wrapped tightly around my waist as his face buried into my curve of my neck, his lips danced along my skin as he sought out and found me.

His kiss was possessive, as if we had been gone for months instead of moments and I sunk into that feeling, even as the vision of his death clouded my mind. His hand threaded up through my hair, just like mine did with his, holding us both in a spot that neither wanted to move away from and I moaned as his breath captured mine.

The heat that turned in my stomach now sat lower and mixed with an animalistic need for him, for his touch, for his body, for _Sam_! And I dared to hold on tighter, until I felt the vibration against my leg, the way his cellphone seemed to chirp in his pocket and he pulled away, only to look down, his forehead against mine as he pulled it angrily from the confines of his jeans.

Dean's number appeared on the screen and just to shut the thing up, Sam pressed the accept and then the speaker on the touchpad.

"Dean?" His voice was full of two things, a question of what inspired him to call, and an anger that he was interrupted.

"Sam!" Dean growled over the line. "Where the hell is Ali?"

"She's standing right here," he replied, backing away as he looked me over.

"How long has she been there?" Was the next question from that he barked over the phone.

"Since I walked in the door," he grumbled, getting a little irritated. "What the hell is going on, Man?"

"If she's been there the whole time, how the hell did I just see her do a slice and dice on three demons behind a bar when she's supposed to be locked away at one of Dad's safehouses?" I stepped back from Sam as my heart began to race and my lips trembled. I looked down at my hands, at the blood that coated them and then over at the blade that rested on the floor. "Tell me she's not transporting her ass around the city, cutting up monsters when Cas promised she would be safe where she was!"

I shook my head, there was no answer for him, nothing that I could say that would change what Dean had seen, what I had done and Sam's lips became tight as his jaw clenched.

"Where's Danni?" I questioned, my eyes flickering between them as I suddenly remembered the massive energy transfer that had gone on between Zane and I. "Dean, where's Danni? Is she safe?"

"Sam," Dean snapped, ignoring me, "you better keep a tighter leash on your girl, because if you won't than I will!"

With that the line went dead, and my eyes focused on Cas, who moved over towards me. "Danni wasn't affected by the transfer, Ali, she's fine."

"Ali, seriously," Sam spoke up, "did you just do what he said? Did you kill three demons while we were gone?"

I paused only a moment, trying to gather my thoughts, and I took a deep breath before answering.

"I put my head back on the couch, I closed my eyes and the next thing I know I'm in an alley in Old Town, behind a bar, I think," Sam stepped forward but I raised my bloody right hand and watched him stop in his tracks. "I thought I was dreaming. I thought what was going on was just some sort of stupid sequence left over from Zane but then I saw Dean and when I opened my eyes again, I was staring at the wall." I looked at Cas, totally confused, because that was exactly how I felt. "Can I do that? Can I teleport?"

"We don't know what kind of powers you have, Ali, that's what worries me." Cas replied. "This is an unknown, you, as you are now, are an unknown player in this game."

"It's not a game!" Sam snapped and stepped closer, his stare suddenly locked onto the rip in my sleeve.

"It was a figure of speech." Cas explained which got nothing but a dirty look from him.

"What happened?" Sam questioned as he deposited his phone on the table and took ahold of my wrist. I let him move the fabric out of the way to stare at the angry looking cut that marred my skin, one that was still bleeding.

"An angel blade," I whispered, curious myself as to why it hadn't healed and I felt his fingers slide over it. Hissing that the pain that flowed from it, I tried to pull back from his grip, but Sam only tugged me closer, and into the bathroom, where he had me sit down. I just let him do what he needed too, lifting my arms only to aid him in removing my shirt and listened as he sighed at the amount of blood that covered my skin. "I should shower."

"Yeah, that might be a good idea." He grumbled and stood, leaving the door opened as he went and I looked out at Cas as I reached for the buttons of my jeans.

I didn't bother to close the door as I stripped, they would have just opened it anyway, but Cas turned around, letting me have some sort of privacy as Sam leaned against the back of the couch, staring at me as I slipped behind the plastic curtain.

The heat of the water against my skin was like needles and I clenched my teeth as I washed the blood from every part of me, scrubbed my hair until my scalp felt raw and listened to the sound of someone just on the other side of the curtain. I closed my eyes, placed my face into the stream and stood there for just a moment, letting the pain take over.

"Does it hurt?" Sam asked and I whirled to see him leaning against the back of the wall, just outside the shower, curtain drawn back so that he was able to look me over.

"Nothing hurts anymore," I answered plainly and crossed my arms, rubbing the bruises on my neck, seeing the dark blue and purple marks that covered me from the last two fights, but my eyes settled on the blood that still dripped from the blade wound. "Why hasn't it healed?"

"Cas said it was probably because it was an angel blade, that's all he could come up with." Sam shrugged. "He's right though, you're kind of an unknown right now, we don't know what will hurt you and what won't. The worst part, we don't know what will heal you either. I mean, regular cuts we've seen, but angel blades? What happens if Dean's blade touches you?"

"If Dean's blade is touching me," I smiled, "it's because I'm about to die."

"Dean isn't going to kill you, Ali," Sam sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Look, I'm not going to let my brother hurt you, and I sure as hell am not going to sit idly by and watch Zane do whatever the hell he wants to you either."

"Sam," I stepped closer to him, out of the stream of water, and paused.

Did I reach out, did I hold back but he was the one that moved, pulling a towel around me when I was near enough to do so and he tucked it under my arm I moved out of the tub. I listened to him shut the water off as I faced the mirror and he grabbed a hand towel to wrap around the dripping wound.

"We're going to have to stitch it," he whispered close to my ear as I stared into the mirror. It had felt like forever since I had seen my own reflections and right now I didn't feel like I was looking at me, I was seeing someone else. Bright blue, almost glowing eyes, jet black hair and such pale skin, but not sickly looking, no just pale. Even the color under my eyes, the bags that should have been there from lack of sleep were gone, and it took the heat of Sam's lips against my temple to rip me out of the trance I was in. I stepped back, turned my head and looked up at him. "Where did you go?"

"I just," I started and glanced at the reflection again, "she doesn't look like me." I answered and left the bathroom, sensing him following behind. "I mean, I know that's me, I know she is me, but she doesn't look like I feel."

"Do you think you look bad?" Cas questioned and it was an honest one from someone who didn't really get the point of caring how you looked and I smiled at him.

"I don't recognize her." I shrugged and moved towards the couch, completely aware of the fact that all I was wearing was the towel. Cas picked the bag up from the floor next to where he sat and handed it to me. "What's this?"

"Clothes," he whispered, and looked away in embarrassment. "I… I didn't go through your underwear, I'm sorry, I didn't grab any."

"Thank you, Cas," I laughed and shook my head, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, "these will work just fine."

He nodded, stood and left the room, stepping just outside the door as I pulled on the pants under the towel. I looked up at Sam, who watched me from where he stood next to the table. He had managed to set up a small triage area in order to take care of my arm, and still keep his eyes locked on me as I changed.

"Shirt on or off?" I questioned, holding up the large shirt that I believed was actually his and he smiled.

"Leave the towel on for now, it will be easier." I nodded, made my way over to the chair and sat down. I avoided his eyes as he scooted up beside me, the heat from him was almost too much and he was almost too close, but I caught my racing heart and my breathing as his fingers slipped around my arm. "Do you want something to dull the pain?"

"Like what? Whiskey?" I smiled and looked around the room. "Doesn't look like John kept any of it here."

"I can have Cas fly out and get some." He grinned as I finally met those blue-green eyes, but I just shook my head. "This isn't going to be a cakewalk, Ali, this is pretty deep."

"The pain keeps me human, Sam." I sighed and looked away, feeling the back of his fingers brush my cheek for just a second before he let out a breath and grabbed the threaded needle from the table.

The first initial pinch of the tip going through stung, in fact, I cried out in pain but never moved. When it passed through the muscle and out the other side, I hissed at it, but after the next two, things started to get numb, or I just was used to the pain. It seemed to stir something in me, some primal need for contact and my hand moved from my leg to his thigh, gripping the inside seam of his jeans.

Sam cleared his throat, moved just a little bit in order to accommodate what I assume was his body's response to my hand being so close to the bulge that was beginning to show in his jeans. I rolled my eyes as the pain suddenly came back full force and I moaned from it, firing those receptors up and I closed my eyes.

"Sam, you have to stop," I whispered and quickly moved my hand away from him as he tied the stitch that he was working on. I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed and all I could feel was the need that was taking over me. "I need to breath, you have to move away."

"Why?" he questioned, and shivered as I locked my eyes on his.

"I want you too much," I pleaded, "and I don't want to hurt you."

"You're not going to hurt me," his voice caught and suddenly it deepened as I began to shake. "You tell me all the time that I won't do any damage, and I'm telling you that you won't hurt me."

"It's so much," I could feel the tears welling up as my hand grasped the table, fingers digging into the wood. "So much," I sighed and my eyes went down from his, over his lips, down his neckline to where the v-neck shirt he wore exposed his chest. "I don't have the control, Sam."

"You don't have to," he reached out towards me and traced my lips with the pad of his thumb, and the heat ripped through me, "you just have to let me finish stitching you up."

"No!" I growled and moved from the seat, pushing it back as I moved across the room.

He didn't feel what I did, how could he, but the need was too great, the want was too much. Who the hell was I kidding anyway, nothing I could do to him would actually hurt, but I could be blunt and brutal and the thoughts of what he could do to me, what I wanted him to do to me would kill him.

I spotted the blade on the counter, sitting there and I felt the vibration from it from where I stood. Sam watched my eyes lock on the handle and before I could step forward, he had it in his hand. This stopped me, the confusion probably evident on my face as he looked from me to the blade itself.

"I thought only you could weld it," he whispered and I shook my head quickly.

"I thought so too," I replied and slowly he put it down.

He moved closer, but my eyes were on the blade, until his hands were on my face. I felt the rush of heat that spread from his touch to the spot where it pooled hot and wet and I moaned into his kiss. I wanted to push him off but when I grasped his shirt, it was only to tug him in.

His hands slide from my face, one gripping the back of my neck, moving up to tangle in my hair and the other pressed against the small of my back, bringing me in until there was nothing separating us. I heard him give a low growl, deep in his throat as he stepped backwards, moving to the small bedroom that was off just to the right of the kitchen.

When he spun me around, he reached out and blindly kicked the door shut as he backed me up towards the bed. In a rush, I felt the towel fall way and the sweats that were already loose on me stripped off before he rested me down on the mattress, his weight pressing me against it from the waist down. I could feel his need through the stretch of the course material that he wore, and wondered how the zipper ever held when he was that excited.

His mouth branded as he moved, his hand tucked under my neck as his thumb and pointer held my chin, keeping me right where he wanted, and I closed my eyes as I turned my head, exposing more of my neck to him. I pulled at his shirt, wanting more skin on skin contact and managed to get it off with very little effort, but as I went for the belt, I felt him growl against my collarbone.

"Sam," I huffed, angry that I was being denied but turned on that he was in control. He laughed as he marked me with small nips of his teeth, a feeling that sent chills over my skin and heat racing between my legs. I lifted my hips, trying to make contact with what I wanted most, and wrapped my legs around his, pinning him to me. My fingers gripped his hair as he teased and licked at my nipples, getting more than a whimper from me. "I need you."

"You need me," he whispered, coming back up to hover over me, his lips just a breath from mine as he free hand smoothed over the length of my body, down my ribs and over my hips, those fingers sliding between us as he then teased the wet folds, flicking at the over sensitive nub and I rolled my eyes as pushed up against the fingers that explored. "You need me where?"

"Oh," I whispered as he slipped a finger in and curled it around to strike against the spot just inside my core, a feeling that had me arching up as I pressed down on that finger, "God, Sam!"

His mouth began its travels once more, this time following a straight line down to tease along my navel, as a second finger joined the first and my world started to spin. I tugged on those locks, not sure if I wanted him to come back up so I could kiss him, or push him lower so he could kiss me… elsewhere, but when I looked down at the darkened blue-green of his eyes, I knew that no matter what I wanted, he was going to do whatever he desired.

"I want you to shake," he whispered as he knelt down on the floor, where my knees bent, and his lips moved to my thighs, little shocks of pain went through me as his teeth snapped down on the skin there.

If he wanted it, he certainly was getting it because as he whispered, he blew hot breath on an even hotter spot and it made my toes curl as his tongue flicked out and my hands went from his head to the sheets beneath me. I bit down on my lip, hoping to stifle the cry that built up in me as he captured me with his mouth, bringing the heat up once again. He teased and tortured for what felt like forever as I moved against his fingers, and his tongue before he suddenly took the wet heat of his lips away and came back up to claim mine once again.

I could taste myself on him and as strange as it was, it did wild things to me that I didn't really understand,Sam flipped me on the bed, not that I put up much of a fight, but I felt his thighs against my own as his hands moved up my back, caressing both my arms as he took my wrist and raised them above my head.

Holding me with one hand, with it gripped around my tiny wrists, his weight pressed me against the bed and I felt him reach down with his free hand, press the tip against me and suddenly push in. I buried my face into the comforter as he moved against me, his hips slamming up against my cheeks as he drove deep and hard and as much as it sent shocks through my body, it was probably the most amazing thing I had ever felt.

His fingers spread across the small of my back moved down until his thumb was pressed against me and he thrust the pad of it in without preparation and the burning feeling that made me hiss as he continued to thrust deep in both openings, was replaced by pure ecstasy. It was pain and pleasure all at once as he put his forehead on the spot between my shoulders, pushing up and in as fast as he could, alternating between himself in one and his thumb in the other and I knew I couldn't take much more.

He was just about at the edge of his will to hold back and quickly he moved, removing himself with one swift motion and again I found myself on my back. He had released my wrists, grabbed my hips with both his hands as he positioned himself, before bringing his lips crushing down on my mouth, something I was waiting for, needing, and as soon as I moved my hands from the sheets and up under his arms to grip his shoulders, he was slipping inside me again.

I tilted my head back, breaking the connection as he thrust forwards, filling me completely and his teeth bit down on the side of my neck, in his favorite spot. This time he wasn't gentle, he had me pinned to the bed, his mouth holding my shoulder down, his body pressing in and around me I dug my fingers into the muscles of his back as I wrapped my legs around his waist, moving the angle so that he could go deeper, to satisfy the rage that was filling me at the same time he was.

His pace was hard, fast and deep and I felt every touch until it built up to where I couldn't take it anymore. I moaned through clenched teeth and pressed his head down, letting him dig those teeth deeper as he sucked on the skin there, branding me. Marking me as his was what Dean had called it before. I _was_ his, I had never not been _his_! I had just never known what I was missing him from my life and with that thought, the one of letting him take complete control of my heart, body and soul, I was sent careening over the edge and I sure as hell was taking him with me.

Sam stiffened as he pushed with short movement, taking his mouth from my skin as he moaned close to my ear. I heard him almost growl at his release and slowly came to rest, his arms bent at the elbows as he propped himself up, but put his forehead down just below my chin.

I relaxed my legs, just a little, closed my eyes and pressed one hand to the back of his head, the other across his shoulders and I felt him move, slipping his arms behind me as he gathered me up, turned his head to the side and placed his cheek against my chest, listening to the beat of my heart. I let myself relax, let his weight and warmth comfort me, let it take the demons from my mind and I noticed how silent it had become within the confines of my mental walls. I couldn't help but smile because he seemed to protect me from myself on the inside as well as out.

I felt him shift around, kick off his shoes, shimmy out of the rest of his jeans and he scooped me up, maneuvering the both of us around on the bed as he turned me on my side and pressed up close behind me, wrapping his arms and legs around my body. I felt the warmth of his breath against my ear as he shifted my hair aside and let his lips linger there.

"I love you," he said softly and I shifted backwards towards him. "I'm going to protect you from this."

I let out a breath, just one before I turned over and faced him, my arms tucked up against his chest as he stared down at me.

"What if you can't?" I questioned, "what if I can't even protect myself from this, Sam, how are you going to save me when I'm not sure I can save myself?"

"I don't know, Ali, but I'm never going to let you go, and I'm never going to stop trying, you know that." And I did, I really did know that Sam would be the one that had a hold on me forever, but there was so much that neither of us knew, hell, none of us knew, even Cas. I snuggled closer as his hold tightened and his chin rested against the top of my head. "Get some rest, then I'll get my stuff and we'll research the hell out of this, there has got to be answers somewhere."

"You're right," I whispered, trying to convince myself that he really was, but deep down I knew that there were only two ways this could possibly end, one with Dean and one with Cas, either way, I wasn't making it out of this unscathed. I pressed my hand to his heart, and prayed that when it did end, that I wasn't there to feel it breaking.

Cas was standing outside the front door, on the small porch that John had built, or Asmodeus, whichever had taken over to craft the cabin, and he was staring up at the stars when I stepped out beside him. Sam was resting, though I was sure he wasn't sleeping, and I tugged the blanket that I had wrapped myself in tighter around me as I also took in a deep breath of the night air and looked up at the specks of light in the sky.

"I killed three demons today, in an alley that I didn't even know I was in," I sighed and bit angrily on the inside of my lip, "I sucked the power right out of Zane and I could have killed you. Cas, the hell am I becoming?"

"My best guess," he sighed, and out of the corner of my eye, I watched him shift his weight before he turned to look at me, "something not unlike a Nephilim, expect much more powerful."

"Okay, so my guess is that this probably the most accurate description either of us is going to come up with but," I turned to look at him, "Why the good and evil side, aren't they all just angels? I mean even if I was the spawn of some Prince of Hell and Danni was your… boss, or whatever's, love child, how is it possible for it to be split?"

"That I have no idea on," he sighed and reached out, gently moving the blanket to look at the wound on my arm. "But the fact that you're not healing from the angel blade tells me that you have some sort of angelic power in you, it's just a bit twisted."

"Great," I shook my head and turned back to look up at the sky, "that's just perfect."

"Ali, what we talked about," he started and I could see his lips tighten, "you know that the possibility of it working to the extent that you desire is… well, there's no guarantee it will work at all."

"Then we'll figure out something else," I replied and tugged the blanket tighter, "until then we're sticking with the plan."

"I don't think it's…" he started but I turned and looked at him.

"It's either this or Dean is going to kill me, so take your pick, Feathers, cause one way or the other, this isn't going to end well." I watched him pull a Dean move, roll his eyes so hard that his head went with him and he turned away from me as I stepped off the porch into the growing darkness.

"Don't wander too far, the dampening spells only work to an extent," he snapped back as if he were my keeper and I waved my hand in the air, moving just past the light from the dingy cabin windows.

I stepped through the trees, looking at the lights ahead of me, curious to see why there were so many of them when we were miles away from anyone else but as I cleared the tree line, I stopped dead in my tracks.

"No. Freaking. Way!" I stated aloud as I stared at the sleek, black contours of the Impala in front of me.


	55. DH God Killer - 22

**Chapter 22**

My first thought was to turn around and go back to the cabin, to run away, to _not_ be this close to the man with the demon blade. But the pull in my veins to step closer outweighed everything that my mind was telling me to do and I felt myself move forward, not like I was stepping with my own feet but just levitating and moving closer to the car.

I could see Sam's Charger still parked behind her, both of them silent and waiting to be driven, but it was the voices in the room that attracted me and when the movement stopped, I was standing with my back to the wall, the window just to my right. I closed my eyes at the smells that came from the room, the scent of a woman's body wash, the steam that had just left the bathroom as if the door had just opened, a man's cologne and under that, everything that made him Dean.

I shook off the feeling of wanting to open the door, wanting to run my fingers down his cheek, over his hand, and I raised my own to press my fingers against the stitches in my arm, the pain instantly bringing me back to reality and away from the world of Dean and Danni, and what surrounded them.

I could hear her voice in my head, not so much out loud, but more like a whisper, and I inched just a bit closer to see if I really was hearing what I thought I was. Latin words carried through thought-waves. It was the reason for the pull, and the little bit of pain just at the edge of it. Danni was chanting a spell and I shook my head. Less adept at Latin pronunciation that I was, which Sam still swore I needed to work on, Danni fumbled with a few words and I found myself smiling because I knew just what she was doing.

A binding spell.

"What the hell, Danni," Dean snapped and I cringed at the bite in his voice, but also my heart raced. Why the hell did I respond to him that way? "What are you doing?" I heard the book rustle, as if he had removed it forcefully from her hands and I could smell the way the smoke plumbed from the candle that he put out. "Magic? You're playing with magic? We don't know what these powers are doing to you now, let alone adding in some magic binding spell to keep them from ramping up."

"It wasn't for me," she answered back and I could feel the tension in the room from where I stood. "it was for Ali."

"Ali?" He huffed. "Perfect!" The book slammed down on the table. "She goes on a killing spree," (three demons, Dean, it was three demons), "and your answer is a binding spell? To do what, keep her from going dark side." I wished I could look in just to see their faces, but it was all in the tone of his voice. "I'm sorry to say I think that ship has sailed. You didn't see her eyes, Dan, there's no going back from where she is."

"I'm not going to believe that," Danni answered and the book opened once again, I could hear the way she roughly turned the page. "We're bound by this… whatever this AO3 thing is, I can feel her, there is still some of Ali left in her, still something to be saved."

"You didn't…" the frustration in his voice escalated and he let out a sigh. "Look, I know you're not going to believe me, Danni, and that's fine, but this is what we do, we hunt monsters, and it she's becoming one…"

"Then it's because of a spell, Dean, because of a freaking prophecy that is affecting me too." Now my morbid curiosity was peaked and I pulled the blanket tighter as I crossed my arms. How was it changing her? "Every minute, I can feel the build-up, like this energy just needs to escape me, and it scares the hell out of me because what if it's like hers? What if it's dangerous?"

"I haven't seen anything dangerous from you." He acknowledged and the pages stopped flipping. "Your eyes haven't changed, your power hasn't surged and you certainly haven't gone around ganking any monsters while teleporting miles away from where you're supposed to be. _She_ has!"

"I found something," she stated and I heard his boots even on the carpeted floor move closer to her. "The book actually talks about the blades, and the powers that we have."

"Right," Dean sighed in disbelief, "because in all the hours we've been researching this, the answers would be in a book of magic."

"The last place you'd look as always," she replied. "According to the book, the darkness will envelope the one that holds it, going right down to the soul if necessary to bind with that person, to make them the ultimate weapon."

"Yeah, I think we're seeing that already."

"Actually, we're not."

"She stuck a blade in my father's heart, how much more Sith does she have to go to convince you?" Dean's anger was rising.

"Her soul is still there, Dean," Danni reassured him, "I can feel it."

"How? How can you feel a soul?"

"The light will be stronger still, filled with the secrets of the angels, a beacon in the night for the carrier. The light will find the source that devours it, but unless they stand together, it will win." She answered by reading from the text. "Now my Latin is sketchy at best but does that sound like she's going to pull a Norman Bates and kill you in the shower?"

"I'm not putting anything past her, not right now." He sighed and while standing there, I realized that every answer he gave put a little more of a smile on my face. Yes, the anger, the hatred, that was what I wanted from him and I could feel the warmth growing around me, the air thickening. Did _he_ realize the power he had? Did he know that everything he felt was almost like a trigger, setting off whatever was inside me? While Danni finally knew her place in this whole warped game of chess, Dean was still unsure of his. "I'm going out for a smoke, I need a minute."

 _Thanks for the warning, Dean_. I grinned and silently made my way towards the edge of the building, disappearing around the corner. I listened to him step out towards the car, listened to the Zippo flick open and the flint strike. I could smell the scent of his cigarette and listened to the way he exhaled, and I closed my eyes, placing my head back against the wall.

A moment past, the sound of him taking it in, and breathing it out filled me, and I felt the beat of my heart slow as I concentrated on that sound, let it fill me, until the scent of him was too close and I could feel the cold metal edge of a blade against the skin of my throat.

"Do it," I whispered, keeping my eyes closed as I suddenly felt the heat of his body. He was pressing against me, keeping me locked to the wall, my arms crossed under his weight and the security of the blanket. I wasn't a threat to him, but when I opened my eyes, I could almost see the light in him, the way his blood flowed and I blinked it away as fast as I could, and then repeated my words. "Do it."

"Do you really have that much of a death wish?" He questioned and I felt his resolve falter, my heart dropped, and I licked the dryness of my lips, breathing in deeply to take him in. "What are you doing here?"

"I was called here," I whispered and my eyes flashed towards the corner of the building. "Her binding spell, her thoughts, they called out to me. Your heart… its beat, I can hear it in my head."

"And the demons?" His teeth clenched as he shifted his weight.

"I'm not sure how that happened," I admitted but I leaned forward towards the blade, feeling the pinch of the steel, and couldn't stop the quiet moan that escaped me. Damn the pain, and my hand found the stitches under the blanket. "Do it, Dean, you know you want to."

"I'm not going to kill you," he whispered, and his free hand, the one that had been touching the wall down near my hip moved up to brace against the wall near my head. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes and I moved my body, pushing it away from the wall, closer to his, needing the contact.

"That's a loaded crock of bull!" I growled and felt the blade move. I closed my eyes as I watched him slip it in the belt behind his back and shook my head. "Dean." It was only a whisper, a plea for help but I could hear his heart pick up, the beat strong, steady but faster. "Just end it, I can't do this anymore. I've hurt you, and Danni, I'm pretty sure at some point I'm going to hurt Sam."

"Where is Sam?" Always the protective older brother, but his movement brought him closer to me. "What did you do to him?"

"I left him in bed if I remember correctly," I felt the grin curl up on my lips at the thought of Sam's teeth against my neck and I tilted my head to feel the pull against the bruise. His hand came up, the one that had stowed the blade and he pulled the collar of my shirt down, his warm fingers brushing my skin as he curled them around the fabric.

"Dammit, Sammy!" He growled under his breath and released the shirt, but his hand lingered, slowly, debating on whether to move and suddenly the pads of his fingers traced my jaw. "You need to leave."

"Gladly, except for one small problem," I shrugged as I leaned into that touch. Dammit all, why did I need this, what the hell was the sensation that he was pulling at and _why_ Dean, why someone connected so close to Danni?

"And that is?" My eyes came up to meet his, locking blue to green.

"YOU have me pressed against a wall, you're blocking my way out." I said in a smartass voice and watched as he gave a little sarcastic shake of his head before moving his body back, but the hands never moved, not the one against the wall, not the ones that rested on the curve of my neck. "By the end of this, you're not going to hesitate with that blade."

His eyes came up as he pushed back so that his elbow locked, giving me just enough space to duck under if I wanted to, but I wasn't ready to break that connection yet.

"What makes you so sure?" He sighed and his fingers danced against the thump of my jugular, like they were keeping time.

"Because if you don't hate me for John's death now," I watched his eyes fill with darkness, and I knew that he felt something for me, something like rage at the mention of his name, "you will before this is over."

He swallowed, moved his fingers and pushed his body far enough away that there would be no contact as I walked by him, but I wasn't going to make it that easy for him. However, I had forgotten about the injury and when my arm brushed his, I winced, made a small noise, probably nothing more than a quick intake, but that was all that he needed.

His hand was on my arm, gripping my lower one though the towel and he turned me. With a roughness that sent heat through every part of me, his eyes locked on mine as he tugged down the blanket and his fingers seared into my skin, bringing the stitches into the light. He inspected the wound, the way that it still bled just a little and I saw the anger on his face as he gave me a little shake and dropped my arm.

"Angel blade from the alley," I whispered, answering his unspoken questioned, "so yes, _your_ blade will make sure I don't come back to haunt you."

"Ali!" The sound of my name on his lips sent chills up me as I started to move away, not stopping as he stood there and, if I only could imagine, clenched his fists in anger.

"Tell Danni not to do anymore spells," I replied without looking back as I stopped at the tree line, "they hurt."

And with that I stepped through the thick brush, pushed aside the branches and found myself looking up at the cabin once more, this time it wasn't just Cas standing on the porch, but Sam as well, his movements telling me that he was just this side of annoyed and pissed off, but as I moved closer, I watched his brow relax.

"Where did you go?" He questioned, looking at the way the blanket hung from my arm.

"The motel," I shrugged answering honestly and I heard the shrill ring of Sam's cell from where we stood. "That would be your brother," I whispered and placed my hand on his stomach as he looked down. "Looks like you need a shorter leash."

Sam rolled his eyes, following me into the building as I made my way towards the table and sat down. He watched me with some curiosity, but as he picked up the phone and put it to his ear, his lips tightened and he looked away.

"Yeah?" He questioned and shook his head, "yeah, Dean, I got her," he paused for a moment and gave a little sigh, "yeah, when I'm ready to bring her back!" He shifted his weight in anger and rolled his eyes, coming to rest locked in my own. "Listen, Dean, know what I'm doing, and yeah, I got her, and I know about the cut, I stitched it up, so get off my back." I wanted to smile, but I watched as Cas walked into the room, glanced at the back of Sam's head as the taller man put hand on his hip, and then walked over to me. "Fine, just keep doing what you're doing. Yeah… whatever!"

Sam pressed the end icon and raised the phone up as if he were about to throw it, but slowly set it down on the table. Cas crouched beside me, his fingers going up to the blanket as he moved it from my arm, and I watched the two men exchange glances.

"Sam and I were talking," Cas started and I raised a brow in his direction, "if this were a Nephilim situation, then my powers should be able to heal this."

"Yeah, you would think that mine would have taken care of it too, but it didn't," I replied and watched the blue eyes of the angel come up to lock on mine. "Fine, do what you got to."

Cas reached out, placed his palm against my arm and pressed down on the wound. Just the touch seemed to set me off because of the pain but I could feel the heat start to rise up as his hand began to glow. My eyes flickered, the heat turned to a searing feeling, as if the skin was being burnt from my muscles and I clenched my teeth. The smoky red vision swirled around Sam as it got more intense and suddenly it felt as if I were about to go up in flames.

"Cas! Stop!" I begged though my teeth as my fingers dug into the arms of the hair, but Cas had his eyes closed, concentrating on the wound, searching inside to repair the damage, but the burning was spreading, rising up my arm and into my neck. Just as it touched the nerves in my spine, it sent me through the roof. "STOP!"

With that one word, I felt my power gather and suddenly Cas was sliding across the floor as if he had been pushed by an invisible force. I lowered my head, beads of sweat pearling on every exposed surface as I looked at him through my hair. His face was filled with shock and I did my best to find a way to control my breathing, or more the panting sound, that escaped my lungs.

I rolled my eyes back behind my lids as I sat back in the chair and felt the blood seep down my arm. It hadn't touched it at all. Once everything in me was settled, I managed to open my eyes and look over at the angel, who was now sitting up a bit more, staring at me as if I were something he had never seen before.

"I'm sorry, Cas," I managed to get out in a weak voice and he nodded, accepting my apology and I looked up at Sam, who took in a deep breath before stalking over to me. He crouched down where Cas had been, took my arm gently and inspected the stitches. Nothing the angel had done had improved the cut, and all of the energy he had spent on me, I had pushed back when my own power surged. "Let's go back."

"What?" Sam questioned, his gaze coming up to mine. "Why would you want to do that?"

"What good is it doing being here if I can still teleport or whatever and kick Cas in the chest with a thought?" I let out a small sigh. "Look, it was a good idea, thinking that John had put something up to keep these powers contained, but what if the dampening spells were just there to keep Cas from finding out the blades were here, to keep the vibrations from attracting… us?"

"Ali, you don't know what's going to happen if you go back there," Sam whispered, and I watched the concern cross his face, but I reached out and traced his jaw with my fingertips.

"No, sweetheart, I know exactly what will happen," I shrugged, "whatever is meant to be, it's going to come about whether I'm sitting in some dusty old cabin, or a rat-hole motel." I sat forward and kissed him softly on the forehead, before he tilted his head up to accept my kiss. I stopped, a breath away from contact and closed my eyes. "No matter what happens, Sam, I will never stop loving you."

"I know," he sighed softly and closed the distance, our lips connecting for just a moment, like two puzzle pieces slotting together.

Sam sat back and watched as I pushed myself up from the chair, glancing over in Castiel's direction. When Sam rose, he too looked at the angel, but offered him a hand to pull him up. Cas accepted and with Sam's help was upright in not time.

That was when I notice the blade on the table, scooped it up and headed for the bathroom. Closing the door lightly behind me, I turned on the sink and stood in front of the mirror. The blade seemed to vibrate in my hand and as I held the handle tightly, I watched the way the steel seemed to shimmer in the light. Down one side were the Latin words for "Protector of Good, Destroyer of Evil," and on the other, "God Killers" blued out so that the metal looked stained, but down by the guard, under the pad of my thumb was the AO3 symbol that we still hadn't cracked the meaning for.

My breath caught as I reached for the sharp edge of the blade. I laid my fingers down on it and pressed, feeling the nip of the cut, but I pressed down further, digging into my own flesh as I slid it from guard to tip. It should have stung, it should have bled, but it didn't do either, in fact it felt as if I had run it on a dull edge. I expected something as tiny as a papercut, but instead, as I lifted my fingers to inspect them, I saw untouched skin.

Oh, this could be a very bad thing. I opened my palm, placed the sharp edge along my skin, took a deep breath and ripped the blade down and away. I closed my eyes, expecting the pain and the blood as I did this but when I opened them, there was nothing, not even the tiniest scratch, but my only thought was "huh", and I hated Sam at that moment.

Maybe I didn't do it right? Maybe I misjudged the angle of the blade, so this time, with eyes wide open, I slid it across my skin, purposely going hard and deep but still it came up unscathed.

"Well, holy hell!" I stated aloud, pretty shocked, and I flung the bathroom door open. Sam and Cas stood by the couch, both looking at me very confused as I walked towards them, blade in hand I could see the worry creep up on Sam's face. "Watch this!"

I placed the blade against the meaty side of my arm and ran it across.

"No!" Sam screamed as he stepped forward, catching my wrist, but his concern was replaced by shock as he looked at the unmarked skin. "What the hell, Ali?"

"I know, right?" I grinned and looked past him to Castiel. "I figured it out, you know why it says that only the chosen ones can wield them." Cas walked over, stepping up beside Sam and looked down as I smiled. "Want me to do it again?"

"Don't," Sam sighed, not able to deal with seeing that again, and he raised his hand to push the blade down towards the table. "Please, don't. We saw it, Ali, no need for a heart attack repeat." His gaze turned to Cas, who was still inspecting my skin. "What do you think, Cas, could that be what it meant?"

"It certainly seems that way, there isn't a hair out of place from where the blade moved." Cas looked into my eyes as he pondered something, and I say ponder only in Castiel's case because it's just that kind of look he gets. "However, if the blades are meant to be used by the chosen ones, and not on them, do they have other properties?"

"I've been wondering that myself," I spoke up just as giddy as I could get and I raised the blade, watching the stress form on Sam's face, as he moved, just a little dance that told me he would be on me in an instant if I decided that cutting myself was the best way out.

I held up a finger, hoping to hold him off, as I purposely showed him that I flipped it so the flat end was going towards my skin, symbols and Latin clearly visible. With a deep breath, I placed it over the wound, pressed down as hard as I could without causing too much pain and prayed that I didn't black out. I waited, probably longer than I should have, for something to happen, but disappointed, I opened my eyes and glanced back and forth between Sam and Cas.

"Okay, so maybe I was wr…" just as I was about to finish my sentence, a shooting pain flashed under the blade, something so intense that I fell straight to my knees but I couldn't move the blade from my skin.

Sam's hands were on my shoulders as I tried to breathe through clenched teeth, letting my head drop back, the man in front of me holding me up. It was as if everything inside the wound was knitting itself shut, like the stitches that Sam had put in were a thousand times smaller but that many times more and Cas' fingers slipped below the palm of my free hand, letting me grasp onto him as he moved down beside me. Finally, my fingers uncurled from the hilt, letting the blade drop to the floor between us, and I brought my head forward, leaning the top of it against Sam's chest.

"Son of a bitch!" I snapped as I tried to catch my breath.

I felt Sam's arm come up from my shoulder, his hand pressing against the back of my head as the other moved over my arm. There was no pain. WAIT! There was no anything, and I turned my head just a little to see what the boys were looking at as Cas' fingers joined Sam's against my skin.

"It's gone," Cas whispered.

"Gone? What do you mean gone?" I said as I pushed back, getting hit with a wave of dizziness that sent my hand searching for the man in front of me, but when my haze cleared I was able to look down at the untouched skin where the gash had been before. The only evidence there was any wound at all was the small pieces of thread that stuck out from where the stitches were. "Okay, that's new."

"So, not only will the blades not hurt you, they'll heal you too," Sam's fingers tugged at the stitch, pulling it free and I giggled at the tickle from it.

"Well, that's an interesting turn of events," Cas answered and I looked up at both of them.

"Can we go now?" I questioned as I caught each of their eyes. Cas met Sam's gaze and the two of them exchanged some sort of nonverbal communication before Sam took my hand and helped me to my feet, letting me snatch the blade up before I was fully upright.

"Cas, maybe you should take me back first, so I can let them know we're coming," Sam sighed and curiosity captured me.

"You have a phone, text him." I replied and Sam shook his head.

"Do you really think that's a good idea, this is Dean we're talking about." He did have a point and I released my hold as Cas placed a hand on his shoulder and the two of them popped out of the room.

With a sigh, I looked around the cabin, at everything that was packed into the one little bag that Cas had brought my clothes in, Sam had burned my other pair, and I slipped the knife into the waist of the sweats I was wearing, hoping it would stay up, as the nerves began to grow.

How was I going to be that be that close to Dean, how was I going to work around Danni? Why did I agree to go back?

Just as I was about to change my mind, to take off running, Cas popped back in the room and extended a hand. I closed my eyes as I slipped mine into his palm and listened to the sound of wings.


	56. DH God Killers - 23

**Chapter 23**

We stood outside the motel room, the door slightly open and I felt Cas' hand on the small of my back, a little bit of support as I suddenly felt the energy that the ones inside let off. With a deep breath, I took a step forward and as Cas and I moved in, I could feel the air immediately thicken. Sam stood by the dresser, his arms crossed as he leaned, Dean sat on the bed, leaning over to tie his boot as he glanced up at me, sending me some sort of warning with his eyes, but it was the glare that I got from Danni that made my turn in my spot.

Cas' hands were on my waist, as I gripped his shirt, looking up at him. "I changed my mind."

"Ali," Cas whispered, but it seemed like more of a confused questioned.

"I can't be by them," I tried to keep it between him and I but I knew that all three sets of eyes were on me. "It's too loud."

"What "it"?"

"Never mind," I huffed and closed my eyes, gathering what I could to protect myself and them and slowly turned back to look them over again.

Dean had gone back to what he was doing, Danni seemed to be flipping through the book and Sam, he gave me a slight grin and a gesture with his hand to come to him. Slowly letting go of Cas, who had become an anchor, I crossed the floor until I had my arms wrapped around the younger Winchester. I took a deep breath, letting the smell of Sam just take over and I could feel my body relax.

"Okay," Dean spoke up, and I turned my head just to watch him as he straightened. "So, she's back, now what?"

"Now we figure out how to keep her safe," Sam replied and his fingers ran up my back.

"Which means?"

"We break out the books, search the archives," Sam shrugged and I closed my eyes.

"So, instead of finding out just what we're up against, we're going to sit on our asses and read?" Dean stated, the irritation dripped from his voice and I turned in Sam's arms to look at him.

"No," I said softly and shook my head, "you don't have to sit on your ass at all." I answered and watched him stand up, his body ready for a fight. "Let's go, you and me." He stared at me confused. "You're so hellbent on wanting to fight something, let me show you where you can find it."

"You're going to show me?" He smiled, crossing his arms. "Kid, you do realize how long I've been in this business right? I could find demonic signs with my eyes closed."

"And I can find demons with my eyes wide open." Dean stopped for a moment and I felt Sam shift behind me.

"What do you mean you can find them?" Sam spoke up.

"Let's just say that demons aren't just black eyes to me." I stepped away from him, turning to glance up at his eyes and shrugged. "Listen, Sam, I can't sleep, I don't think I could even try so if the Lone Ranger here needs to go out and fight the bad guys, he might as well get some help." I heard Dean give a little "pfft" as Sam smiled at the annoyance on Dean's face. "I have to get out and do something, I can't watch you guys just sit and read a book."

"What about us?" Danni questioned, but I knew it was more of a what about me.

"You wanna come along, by all means." I replied and that was when Sam's hand came up to my neck.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" He whispered lowly.

"I don't think anything… ever, is a good idea but if she wants to fight," I shrugged and looked at Dean, who wasn't sure what to think, "who am I to stop her?"

"Okay, now wait just a minute," Dean spoke up and I faced him again. "We can't just go out and find demons, Ali, there's got to be some reason for them to be here."

"There is," Cas spoke up. "The solstice is only a few days away, Zadimus will be gathering forces, demon forces to back his reign. We know the blades won't hurt the girls, but we don't know what they'll do to demons.

"I do," Dean growled and my eyes caught his as he stared me down hard. I gave a slight eye roll and a shake of my head. "So, where are they?"

I rubbed the back of my head and glanced up at Sam, "got a map?"

"Yeah," he sighed softly and moved towards the bag on the side of the dresser. Clearing off the kitchen table as much as he could, moving books to the dresser and coffee cups to the trash, he brought out the map that he had snatched of Winchester, Virginia. "What are we looking at?"

I took a deep breath as I looked over the lines that made up the city limits, felt the heat rise in the back of my neck as I stared at the map but the more the heat rose into my skull the more I found myself staring at one particular spot. A street called Fairmont Avenue, and I placed a hand to the side of my head as I reached out and placed my finger on the map, but as I did, a drop of blood splashed onto to the paper.

"Stop!" Sam suddenly snatched my hand from the paper and turned me away from the map as I felt the red vision flashed through me and I could suddenly see his veins. "Ali, you have to stop, all you're doing is hurting yourself."

"That's never happened," I whispered and used the back of my hand to press up against my nose. Cas handed me tissue and I wiped away the rest, but I could see the blood on the back of my hand and shivered. "They're there, and they're not alone."

"What do you mean not alone?" Dean's voice vibrated through me. "How many are there?"

"I don't know, but I do know that Zane is, or was, there too." I sighed and wiped once more, making sure the bleeding had stopped before I turned to look at him. "If we're going, we need to go soon."

"Now I'm starting to agree with Sammy, I don't think this is such a good idea." Dean raised a brow as he started me down. "You don't look good, Kid, seriously and if even trying to locate them is making you bleed then something ain't right. You don't need to go running headlong into it to prove a point."

"I don't have a point to prove, Dean, I just need an out." I stated softly, and moved past him, brushing my shoulder against his arm and I walked out of the room. Outside, I breathed in the night air. How the hell was it still night anyway? Did these things never end? Could we just get it over with already? I leaned on the Charger, crossing my arms over my chest as I stared up at the sky.

I could smell him before I could see him and I closed my eyes, because why was he so far up my ass that every time I turned around, he was right there. I heard his boots stop, the flick of the lighter and the suddenly smell of the American Spirits that floated in the air. I swore half the time he didn't smoke them but had to have something in his hands.

"You're not going to run off and do something stupid, are you?" His voice a little past annoyed.

"You mean pop off and go after them myself?" I replied, finally opening my eyes to look at him, but I gave him a little shrug. "What if I did? What would you do?"

"Al!" he growled and looked over at the building beside us. "This isn't a soap opera, no one's going to come back from this. And it certainly isn't your show were nothing ever truly dies. We don't have God and Amara looking over us, or angels that can pull us from hell."

"Then how did you get out? Sam? Wasn't that an angel, or a demon? Something supernatural wanted the two of you planted pretty firmly on the ground, so explain to me how this isn't anything like the show?"

"You won't come back if you do this, you know that. Nothing comes back from a demon blade, hell, nothing ever returns when ganked by an angel blade either, so if you think something with the name _God_ Killer attached to it, is going to be a walk in the park, I think you're sadly mistaken, sweetheart."

"I'm glad you think so." I kicked off the car and moved further away from the building, further into the darkness and felt him follow, stopping dead when I turned towards him. "I don't get it Dean, I mean, I do get the whole shorter leash thing, but why you? Why are you following me?"

"Because Sammy trusts you not to just pop off and disappear," he growled, leaning down to close the distance, "me, not so much. You know where they are, who's to say you haven't got it in your head to go out and do something stupid."

"If I plan on doing anything _stupid_ , Dean, you'd be the first to know." I went to move away but his fingers came up and brushed my cheek, and his touch stopped me instantly. I swallowed hard as it moved down from there to my neck, over my shoulder and finally to the point where he held my hand. I licked my lips as I looked down at his hand holding mine gently. "I can't promise anything, Dean, I have no control over it. I didn't expect it the first time, when I showed up in the parking lot here, I was called. I heard Danni's voice, I followed your heart beat, so whatever happens next… I can only promise you one thing."

"What's that?" he questioned, close to my ear, his forehead almost touching my temple.

"You're the only one that gets to stab me with a blade," I smiled but I felt the air leave his lungs as I shook him loose and headed for the diner across the way.

I could feel him still there, still keeping an eye on me as I finally made my way to the diner door, but as I pulled it open, expecting to be popped away to someplace different, I found myself a little disappointed when I stepped right into the crowded place. It was God only knows what time of night and here they were packed with people. At least, that was what I thought until I got a good look around.

Grey faces and black eyes surrounded me, as I moved towards the back of the building, one of them even raised a cup in my direction, giving me a smile as if I couldn't see what I was looking at. Trying to remain calm, I slid in and waited. The waitress, a stunning blonde walked up and placed a mug on the table, filled it with the potent, black, diner coffee, probably burnt, and then smiled before she walked away.

The blade in my boot began to warm, as if it wanted something, power, blood, just to be wielded, but I remained sitting even as my vision vibrated, and I slowly sipped on the hot coffee, needing the burn from it to stay focused, but that was until I heard the small noise that hit the table, like a drop of water in a tap and I looked down at the red that sat there, one… two… three drops and my finger went to my nose.

Taking it away, I looked at the crimson color against my skin and grabbed a napkin but when I turned back, when I looked up from the holder, I saw the man who sat across from me. I sat back quickly, watching his hand reach out, and he dabbed a napkin against my nose, catching the last drop of blood before it landed on the table. Sitting back, Zane smiled and brought the tissue towards his face, inhaling the copper scent on the flimsy material.

"Go away!" I snapped at him and watched as he did nothing but give me a large grin.

"Oh, my love, I will never leave you alone, you should know that by now," he whispered and held out a hand, trying to touch mine, but his eyes narrowed. "I felt you, you know, when you were searching for my flock. I felt the way your power called to me."

"Yeah, well, I think you need better service," I snarked and watched as his hand dropped to the table and he sat back.

"You hurt me in the alley, that little syphon job you did, my I never would have thought you had it in you, or that you'd be able to handle such pure energy."

"What do you want, Zane?" I growled and gasped the mug in my hand, the heat of the liquid keeping my mind focused on what was going on there instead of the power the man in front of me offered.

"I just wanted to make sure you knew I was still around."

"Hard not too, since you keep popping up," I looked up into his eyes as the power flashed across mine and he smiled. "Next time, give me some warning so I can have a blade ready to stab in your eyes."

"Oh, my, you know how hot it gets me when you're feisty, Alison, I can't wait to feel that power all around me, and under me, and while I'm in you…" I pulled the spectrum from the back of my jeans and placed the tip right against the soft spot under his chin.

"Shut it! Right now, stop talking, or I swear I will run you though right in front of all your little minions." I felt the build-up coming, and his eyes started to glow a bright blue as he leaned into the tip.

"Hmm, if you really meant that, love, you would be using the one in your boot, not the one in your hands." He reached out and ran his fingers along the edge of the spectrum, alone that sharpened edge of the razor and my eyes instantly went to the blood that started to run down, chasing after the pad. I could smell it, the way that his blood seemed to attract me and I closed my eyes. "You know what surprises me more than anything, the fact that your little hunters aren't here guarding you." That bloody finger and its mates traced down my hand, where it held tightly to the handle of the blade. "I'm amazed that they would let someone with your abilities out of their sights."

"Oh, she ain't alone!" Dean's deep and irritated voice spoke up, close, and I opened my eyes quickly, when I heard the slide click back on the Colt. Looking over the shoulder of the demon before me, I could see Sam standing in the doorway, both hands gripping a gun tightly, Danni making her way down the aisle as she "encouraged" people to leave, and Cas, who had taken up a spot to stand beside Dean, who had scooted into the seat behind Zane. "Why don't you take your ugly ass and, I don't know, go rot in hell and leave the lovely lady alone?"

"Dean Winchester, so we meet again," Zane said calmly as he blinked, his eyes coming up from my hand to lock on mine and I could see the anger in them. "I see that our last meeting didn't do much for the intelligent part of your brain, you're still thinking that this is a fight you can win."

"Oh, I think I got all I need to know out of our last meeting," he replied and I watched the EMF meter come up from the seat and Dean flicked it on.

The wail that the machine let off was enough to make the entire population deaf, or at least that was how I heard it because I started to cringe at the noise, while Zane clenched his teeth in pain, feeling every vibration that it let out.

Zane let out a growl of pain that shook me to the core as his lips turned up in a sneer and suddenly he was gone, faster than Cas could pop out on his wings, and I looked up at Dean, wide-eyed as he tilted the gun back and flipped on the safety. I swallowed, trying to catch the control that I felt slipping as the machine turned off and the only thing I could hear was the thump of my heart.

Sam moved into the seat next to me and wrapped his arms around me the best he could, but my eyes were trained on Dean's, full of confusion because there wasn't any emotion in his, they were blank slates, and that worried me. Where was the anger, the hatred and the pain? Where was the need to destroy, the one I had gotten used to seeing when something evil was around, and then I realized that what Zane had said flashed him back to the warehouse, to the torture and he had built up the walls to keep those memories at bay.

It was nearly four in the morning when we all settled down, I had managed to wear Sam out, and behind our locked door, away from Dean and Danni, he slept peacefully wrapped up in just the sheet that hugged his body. I, on the other hand, seemed to be having much more trouble with that word, _sleep_. My body didn't want to shut down, it didn't want to do anything but move, so I paced back and forth from the bathroom door to the small table, just passed the end of the bed where I could keep an ear out for Sam.

I had gotten dressed, boots, blade and all and walked with my fingers tented over my nose. Dean hadn't said much since the altercation with Zane. In fact, he seemed to forget I was in the room all together as Sam and Danni went over some of what they had found in the books. He sat on the bed, his elbows on his knees and he stared at the floor.

I couldn't help but watch him, see the way the muscles moved under his shirt as each time I spoke, they seemed to twitch and it took everything I had to keep my eyes on Sam, who was explaining something to me that I didn't understand.

They wanted to do what to me? Bind me? To one of them? Who the hell would agree to that? The only one strong enough in the group was Cas and we already saw what I could do to him just by pushing a thought. No! Binding was the worst possible idea!

I closed my eyes, leaned up against the dresser and crossed my arms. I had to say put, I had to get some kind of rest, but the cool breeze and the smell of dirt and refrigeration chemicals had my eyes opened faster than I could think. I stepped away from the wall and rolled my eyes.

Where the hell was I now?

Sliding the blade from my boot, I made my way through the small space between the buildings and the shipping containers that seemed to fill the parking lot, or at least the storage lot. Nothing on the map, even when we Google Earth-ed it resembled anything like this in Winchester, so with that being known, where did hell did I pop to this time?

I wasn't in Old Town, in fact I was far from it. I wasn't by the diner, otherwise I would have been able to see the hotel, the boys' cars, something familiar. Nope, this place was dark and it made my heart race. I could feel the evil in the air, knew by that feeling that there were demons nearby and I went with it, letting the smoky red vision cloud my eyes. It was almost like I could see through and around the solid masses in front of me, or it was like their blackness just beamed out, like a beacon.

Rounding the corner of the last row of shipping containers, I saw five of them standing there, three men, two women, all dressed in worker's clothes, not the suits that I always saw in the show. This was actually more realistic, the fact that they weren't all dolled up but I couldn't help but feel guilty for what I was about to do, I mean, they were wearing helpless meat suits.

One of them looked my way as I backed up and pressed against the metal, but the vibration of the blade alone seemed to have them moving towards me, like a moth to a flame… or a lamb to the slaughter and I looked down at the steel in my hand. What the hell, it was a demon magnet… I was only the one that swung it.

When I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and stepped out from around the corner, all I could see was their clouded forms, the red blood from the humans they occupied but the blackness that swirled in it and I watched as they stopped, felt the power surge through me as my eyes changed color and the smile crept up on my face.

"Looks like it's playtime," I opened my hands, widened my stance just a little bit and waited for those angel blades to drop, and they did.

It was almost getting tiresome, the way they danced about, and they didn't do it the smart way, you know, all in. It was like, "let's have Mikey try it, he'll try anything" and they push one person in so that they can see how strong their opponent was. Yeah this happened every time and I was getting tired of it. I had danced with better, and far more partners than these five, but it kept the blood flowing, theirs not mine and before I knew it, most of the ground was covered in demon dust and there was one girl standing.

She looked at her partners, at the amount of blood that soaked me and the ground as I stood there, arms casually at my side, the blade hanging towards the pavement as the blood dripped from the end of it. My hair was coated in the blood of her friends and my chest burned from the way my heart raced within the confines of my ribs but I looked up at her, feeling the spark behind what I assumed were black eyes.

"What are you?" She questioned and this made me shrug.

"The end," I replied in a whisper and raised the blade as I stepped towards her.

I remember swinging, of hearing her scream and then there was nothing but silence, the low hum of the old, dusty air conditioner that hung outside the office of the motel manager and I looked up at the brightening sky. I heard them on the gravel, the sound of the familiar boots but when I turned to look at Sam, I watched him stop in shock.

"Ali?" he questioned, and it seemed as if life was repeating itself. I smiled at him looked down at the blood that covered me and suddenly my body began to shake. I met his eyes, and watched the concern fill them before he closed the distance, took my hand and rushed me towards the motel room, snatching the blade from me as he did.

Once inside, he locked and bolted the door, pressed a hand to my back and moved me swiftly to the bathroom. I was in a daze, completely uncertain of what was going to happen, of how he was going to react that when the water sprayed on, I jumped and looked up at him.

Sam sighed, placed the blade in the sink and took the hem of my shirt in his hands. "I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered, as if I needed the reassurance, "do you trust me?"

"Always," I answered, but it came out almost inaudible and I relaxed my arms as he tugged the shirt up and over my head, letting it drop into the wastebasket.

His fingers trailed down my arms to my waist where he popped the button and carefully unzipped them. I wanted to touch him, to feel his skin, to ground myself but all I could do was watch what he was doing. Sam knelt on the floor, looked up at me from where he was before his eyes went where his hands were, wrapping around each side of the waist of my jeans before tugging them down, taking the cotton panties with them.

I swallowed back the nausea at the amount of blood that stained me, but he didn't seem to notice as his hands moved over my thighs, tugging the material from my ankles when it gathered there. I wanted to close my eyes, to enjoy the feeling but I couldn't, I didn't trust that I wouldn't pop out of the room again, and this was Sam, I needed him to keep me there.

He came back up, his hands touching every spot that he had on the way down and more, and when he stood straight, he reached behind me and unhooked the bra, slid it from my shoulders and deposited in the basket. His fingers ran down my arm and gripped my fingers lightly as he tugged me towards the shower, moved the curtain aside and watched as I stepped in.

Once under the spray, I felt every ache in my body and I leaned back against the wall, my body facing Sam as he looked over me, worrying his bottom lip and I opened my eyes the best I could, since lethargy was finally taking over.

"Will you stay here?" He questioned, knowing I didn't have much choice in the matter.

"If it's in my power," I sighed, and watched him nod, but before turned away, taking the trash bag with him, I called out, "Sam," and he looked at me once again. "Take the blade with you, it knows where they are."

He looked towards the sink, I saw his chest rise as he prepared himself for it, and then I heard the clank of the metal as he took it from its resting spot and disappeared out of the room.

The sun was bright and shining, not a cloud in the sky as Sam pulled the Charger up beside the Impala, somewhere deep in the woods of the closest state park. I smiled as he cut the engine and looked over. Rest had finally come to me after the shower, and I had awoken with Sam's arm wrapped around me. It was a lighter day, something I hadn't felt in a while, but we all needed to get out and away, so when Dean suggested a drive, Sam hadn't argued and Danni wholeheartedly agreed.

I was just along for the ride, wherever that took us, and now as I sat looking at nature through the front windshield of the Charger, I was happy to be there. Sam came around, opened my door and grabbed my hand.

Together we followed the sounds of what I thought was laughter, but it was more of a playful argument between the older two of our group. Cas had stayed behind to work on some sort of research, which left us with time on our hands. I stopped at the edge of the clearing, watched the small river run by and noticed that Danni stood knee-deep in the running water, as Dean looked down, as if waiting for fish to swim by.

Sam kissed me quickly, and moved down towards the water, removing his shoes and socks as he tried to roll up his pants before hitting the water, which got the usual reaction from Dean, who eyed his little brother with contempt before going into a full smile. I walked down to the river's edge, removed my own footwear and climbed up on a rock, warmed by the heat of the sun and watched the three of them as they frolicked about, taking in the sound of their banter, their laughter, hoping to hold it in, wanting to keep it close.

I was silently observing, just letting them do their thing, imagining what it was like that month and a half without me and I hoped it was like this, because I had a feeling when it was over, this was the only thing that they were going to be able to fall back on.

Dean turned to me, unaware of how violent my night had come and the smile faded from his face as I pulled my legs up to my chest, encased them in my arms and placed my chin against my knees. He seemed worried, angry, something other than happy when he looked me over for just a moment, then turned back to his brother, who slapped him on the arm.

Dean looked at Sam, slapped him back and Sam glanced up at me, all smiles. This was how I needed them to be, _happy_ , and they couldn't be that way while I was there. In that moment, I thought I knew what I needed to do, in that moment, I made a rash decision that would change the way that life went from that moment forward.

In that moment, everything changed.


	57. DH God Killers - 24

**Chapter 24**

I shook my head, sitting up on the dresser, my hands gripping the edge, as I watched Sam and Danni flip though the spell book that Sam had opened on the table.

"What are you looking for anyway?" I questioned and closed my eyes, I had only been sitting there for not even five minutes and I was completely bored, anxious, and ready to move. Don't get me wrong, I had appreciated our time outside the motel, by the river that the boys had found deep in the forest, but these four walls were already getting on my nerves.

"Nos Ligare," Sam answered in Latin, as he picked the book up and turned to look at me.

"Another binding spell?" I questioned, but that had been the thing of the day, reading and going over which ones would work best, which ones wouldn't work at all and I sighed as I looked over at Danni, "the last one hurt my head, what makes you think this is a good idea."

"Because it's doesn't bind you to her," he spoke up and leaned on the edge of the table, as my eyes snapped back in his direction, "it binds you to me."

"Oh, wonderful," I stated sarcastically, "because that is such a brilliant idea. Hello, psycho darkness here, Sam, not the best plan in the world!"

"We can't have you popping in and out like that, Ali," Cas spoke up as he appeared in the room and I rolled my eyes, before turning to look at him. "Your… traveling has become more bloody each time you go out, a tether to someone would be the wise choice."

"Says you, Angel, you're not the one with the freaking tattoo," I growled and watched as he gave me _that_ face, the one that almost could be interrelated as "bite me," but he kept his mouth shut. "Look, all I'm saying is that it didn't work to bind me to Danni, and I don't know about you, Sam, but I'm pretty certain that my anger management issues are only going to get worse."

"That's why we do it now, so that hopefully you can maintain some sort of level of control." He replied and stepped closer. I looked down at the spell in the book, taking in everything that was written on the pages before I felt his fingers under my chin and I tilted my head up to look at him. "I need to do this, for you, for me. Ali, it's not safe and I need you close."

"Yeah, I get it," I took a deep breath and felt his lips on my forehead. "Fine," yeah, I gave in a little easier than they expected but I had my own plans, "do it."

It wasn't more than an hour later that the door opened and I looked up from my pacing at the back of the room. Dean, who had been gone for way too long, walked in with two grocery bags full of food and kicked the door shut with his foot before looking down at the stockpile of herbs, bowls, candles and some strange liquids that he apparently wanted nothing to do with as he shook his head.

His eyes came up to meet mine, those green ones always intense with emotions, but I watched his brow crease in some sort of emotion, anger, worry, hatred, not sure which but he placed the bags on the counter and turned back to his brother and Danni.

"What's going on?" he questioned and stepped up beside them, looking from the words of the book to me. "What are you planning, Sam?"

"It's a binding spell, sort of," the taller man turned towards his brother and glanced over at me, "not to bind her powers, but to create a sort of tether."

"A tether?" Dean questioned in disbelief.

"A shorter leash," I mocked and his eyes snapped over in my direction as he raised an eyebrow and gave me a little shake. "It's what you wanted, me wrapped up somewhere secure."

"Yeah, like that went over well the last time we tried it." He stated with annoyance, but turned back to his brother. "You can't link yourself to her, none of us can."

"Way to go, Ass, I'm standing right here!" I snapped

"Yeah, and at any moment, you could be off playing butcher!" He retorted and stepped closer, but Sam's hand was on his arm. "You're dangerous and you know it."

"Okay, I'll give you that, I do know it," I smiled and crossed my arms as I looked him over from head to toe, "but I think you like that."

"Hey, screw you!" his anger rose and I could feel it flowing into me. It was too strong, too intense and while something about Dean was always a trigger, this time was different. I closed my eyes, felt my face grow pale and I swayed. "Ali?" There was a change in his voice, a concern that grew there and I felt his hand on my arm. "What's happening?"

"Don't," I snapped, swinging his hand off me as I looked up, breathing heavily through my nose, "don't touch me!" I moved around him, stopped to look at Sam, clenching his shirt before I chanced a glance at the muscles on Dean's back, the ones that tightened as he tightened his fists at his side. "I'm going next door," I whispered and connected with Sam once again, "it's too much."

Sam took my hand from his shirt and brought it to his lips, which made me smile just a little bit. "I'll come get you when we're ready."

I nodded, looked back at Dean, who had slowly turned, at least to the side and was checking me over, before I opened the door and headed toward the room. Just as I passed the window, I heard Dean sigh.

"Are you sure leaving her alone is a good idea?" He questioned and I can only imagine that Sam shrugged because there wasn't any response.

It probably really wasn't a good idea, but I wasn't going to tell them that. I walked into the room, closed and locked the door behind me and started walking towards the bathroom, on my way, I paused only to switch out the blade in my boot with my trusty spectrum and as I stepped through the bathroom door, I stepped out onto the deserted dirt road. The air has just a bit more humidity to it and even the sky looked a bit different, but it was the yellow flowers that grew on each corner and the wrecked remains of what once was a building that told me right where I was.

"I'm not playing," I said softly, not that I was going to start yelling it, "so you can come out now."

I watched as he stepped from the darkness himself and gave me that all knowing and evil smile, but his beard was just a bit thicker and his black hair helped him blend in with the growing darkness. Crowley stopped not more than ten feet from me, his hands in the pockets of that God-forsaken overcoat and I watched as his eyes ran over the length of me.

"My God, how do they keep you tied down?" He questioned and smiled, stepping closer, "the power coming off from you is enormous." But I didn't answer him, I just smiled, slipped the spectrum out and twirled the handle in my palm. "Hmm, interesting, Moose and Squirrel have no idea you're standing here, do they?" I watched him look around. "No gas-guzzling, scrap metal on wheels, so how did you get here?"

"Not the point of this little meeting, is it?" I questioned. "I heard you, I came when you called, so what is going on?"

"You heard me?"

"Yeah, imagine that, I can hear demons when they're close, like a beacon," I shrugged, and held up the blade, "but I didn't come here to fight, which is why I brought this little girl instead of her bigger sister, now wanna tell me what the hell you want? I have to get back. Curfew, you know?"

"Don't let those boys put you on a leash," he stated and stepped even closer, watching the rainbow blade in my hand as I lowered it. "Your powers could destroy them."

"Then I need a way to stop it, to keep the spell from working, but I need to have something that keeps me grounded because I can't just pop off to put away your guys either." I watched as he looked down at his feet, his mind working before he looked up at me.

"The demons you're so kindly disposing of aren't "my guys", they work with Zadimus, kind of his own little clique, it's nauseating to be honest. They flock to his feet, like he's the answer to the end of the world." I could hear the irritation in his voice and shook my head. "What, I'm allowed to be annoyed with my followers?"

"Yeah, I know, King of Hell and all that," I said mocking his accent before I shook it off and shrugged, "but you're not annoyed, you're jealous. You want him gone so that you can have your playthings back, your minions." I was the one that stepped off my mark this time and landed with not more than a two-foot distance between us. "So, tell me how to stop the tether."

"I don't have too, it's all there, scrambled up in your noodle," he answered and tapped his finger against my forehead, "the darkness is just clouding everything. You need to learn to push it aside and let the magic through."

"I haven't been able to do that, Crowley, and you know it. I have been trying all day but there is nothing there, nothing that I can access."

"Power can be all consuming," He took a breath, dramatic effect, and placed two fingers gently on my head before I started to feel the warmth behind my "third eye". This wasn't like Cas, where it seemed to heat up to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. No, Crowley's power was like a hot cup of cocoa on a winter's day, a warmth that spread all over and I could almost hear the lock that held back all those spells click open. His finger withdrew and he stepped back. "You do realize how dangerous this is, black magic and whatever you're becoming?"

"As long as it stops that thing, as long as it keeps me from destroying the boys in the process and keeps the tether from sticking, I don't care how dangerous it is for me." I watched the smile rise up on his lips again and he tilted his head as he looked me over.

"My, how the hunter has fallen," he whispered. "You're just like them, you know," he turned and started to walk away, "that 'I'll do anything for family' complex is going to only get you one thing, Love," before he disappeared into the darkness, he turned to me. "It's going to get you killed."

"I'm kinda banking on that." I shrugged and watched the smile fade from his face as he looked away and proceeded to disappear as he always did, fading into the darkness.

I took a deep breath, looked around the crossroads one more time and turned around. With a sigh, I stepped forward and looked up, staring at myself in the mirror. Quickly, not knowing how long I had been gone, I turned the bathroom sink on, washed my face and my arms just as I heard the door to the room jiggle.

I grabbed a towel, made my way over and flipped the lock. Sam stood outside the door and looked at me as I patted the towel against my arm. He stepped inside, looked at the blade on the bed, the _clean_ blade and reached out to push the wet strand of hair from my face.

"You okay?" He questioned, the concern in his eyes made me smiled as his fingers trailed down my cheek and I felt the slip behind my ear, his palm pressed against me. I blinked back the frustration in me and glanced away for just a bit. The door was open and I could smell the man who stood just outside it. Dean was just as close as his brother and I sighed.

"Honestly, no," I whispered as I leaned into his touch. "What if this tether doesn't work? What if it makes me fly off the handle. Sam, I couldn't stand to hurt you, or Dean," and I could almost hear both of their hearts begin to race, Sam's fluttered, like he was about to go off in a million directions but Dean's only got stronger, harder and I took a breath. "What about Danni, her powers, what has she done with them?"

"I don't know," he sighed, honestly unsure, "Cas said he was going to work with her, to see what the extent of them were, but you remember what he said, she's going to become black and white, and it's going to come down to you or Dean, so you need to be more in control. You need this tether to work."

"Leashed to you isn't my problem," I smiled as I stepped forward, grabbing his shirt as I pressed my body against him, tilting my head back so that I could look up at him. "I'd let you tie me up all day if it keeps me put," and that was what made Dean's beat skip, "but being linked to you like that, Sam, I'm not…"

"I know," he nodded, leaned down and placed his lips against my forehead, "neither am I."

I released his shirt and let my arms circle around him, holding on as his hand pressed my head to his chest, my cheek resting against that beat, drowning out his brother's and I closed my eyes when I felt his lips against the top of my head.

The room smelled a little bit… okay, a _lot_ like Patchouli and I nearly gagged. Worst smell it the world to me, but I let it go because if this is what they thought would help me. Walking past the table, I stopped and looked at the ingredients that were there. Just your normal stuff, no troll this time and I shook my head, swiping a small piece of twine from the pile and I wrapped it around the base of my thumb just above the tattoo before I moved towards the bed and sat down.

"So, what does this do, besides, you know, link me?" I questioned and watched Danni and Sam gather around the table.

"It should dampen you a little bit, keep you grounded." Danni replied, her back to me as she started to add the ingredients to the bowl in front of her, chanting Latin too low for me to hear and my eyes darted to Sam, whose face was in the book, Cas, who was looking over Danni's shoulder, and then to Dean, who stood with his arm resting against the wall, his ankles crossed just staring me down.

I lowered my head, letting my hair curtain around me, hiding my mouth as I let my left-hand play with the twine that was twisted on the opposite hand. I let my lips move, not saying the words so that they were audible but I breathed each syllable.

"Custodi me de magia." When I felt the rope was warm enough, I lifted my head and watched as Cas looked in my direction, his brow creased with curiosity but he didn't say a word. I took a deep breath, gave him a little bit of a tilt right back and then turned away. Of course, the only way to look was at Dean, who was still staring at me. "Why don't you take a picture?"

He "humph-ed" at me and shook his head, his eyes veering towards his brother's and I watched his chest rise, taking in a deep breath. "We getting on with this?"

"Yeah, are we?" I seconded it and my eyes looked towards Sam as the younger Winchester turned to me, "well, you know, he needs to know where to stick it, if it doesn't work."

"What is your deal?" Dean growled, which brought me back to him and I gave him a questioning look.

"I'm tired, I'm cranky and I have you up my ass, that's my deal." I stood from the bed and walked over to him, watching every muscle in his body tighten and I heard the collective sigh of the group behind me, but I made sure to get close enough that only he could hear the words I spoke to him. "Why don't you do what you really want to, Winchester? Why don't you just tie me up, lock me in the bunker basement and do God only knows what to me until this has passed."

"God only knows what?" He smiled, and it was a teasing one, like he wasn't sure how to respond but he looked down at me and leaned in a little closer, "what I'd like to do, it ain't something you're going to enjoy, Cupcake."

I cringed at the name as the images of watching the demon press him against the wall flashed through my head and I felt my eyes darken for just a second.

"Asshole," I whispered back and that smile turned into a Cheshire grin, knowing he was playing with my emotions. "What are you looking for, validation that I can't keep my crap together? You think one little word is going to set me off?"

"Wouldn't be the first time," he replied. "I mean think about that swing you took at me in Oklahoma, good right hook, but it only took a word."

"No, it wasn't the word, it was the man saying them," I shook my head. "You were up my ass then, and you still are now, so back off, Dean."

I turned to walk away but it was as if our lives together was on repeat when he reached out and grabbed my arm, something I turned into swinging and he caught me by the wrist dragging me closer until he wrapped his arm around my waist. I could have easily gotten away, but the feeling of him keeping me grounded seemed to stop any movement from me of any kind.

"You need to calm down," he whispered through clenched teeth but his eyes were locked on mine as I felt the flash flicker over my vision. "I don't want to hurt you, Ali, but I can't let you hurt my brother, or yourself, I told you that already."

"Let me go, Dean," I sighed and felt as if we had done this dance too many times. I felt the hand slip from my waist, and the one on my wrist tighten as he took the twine that was wrapped around my thumb and slowly unwound it. My heart thumped as he glanced up at the trio behind me before taking it and sticking it in his pocket.

"Don't play dumb," he spoke so softly that it sent goosebumps rising on my skin, "I know what that was, and I know what you're doing, I'm not stupid either. If you want me to play my part, you have to give me something to go on. Don't fight the magic, just let them bind you to him."

"You just said you didn't want to hurt Sam, but you want me to allow them to tether me to _your_ brother? How asinine can you be? This is the biggest mistake I've ever seen anyone make." I answered, but was it really a mistake or was I just too scared that it would actually work. Which brought me to admit something I had been hiding from everyone, even the man that held me. I didn't tell him because I wanted his pity, in fact, I had hoped it might make him agree to end it, but I had to admit it to someone. "Dean, I'm afraid."

"That's why they're doing it, Kid," he replied and his fingers caressed my hand. "To lock it down, so that you won't have to be afraid anymore, so we can get through this without…" his pause made me nervous as he glanced up at his brother, "without any losses."

"Okay," Sam said stepping up beside us and I felt his hand on the small of my back. Taking my eyes off Dean, I looked up at the worry in Sam's eyes as he glanced over the hand that his brother held. "We're ready." Dean took a step back, released my wrist and patted Sam on the shoulder as he slowly let my fingers slide from his hand while he moved away. Sam took a breath and let it out slowly as his hand came around and gripped my hips. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Am I sure?" I questioned with a laugh and felt his lips rest against my hair. "Are you ready for it, because you're the one that's going to be tied to a nutcase."

I stood in the salt circle in the middle of the room, candles lit at the five points that would have signified the pentacle and I let my hands rest at my side. Danni moved in a clockwise circle dropping down different herbs and waving incense in front of me and as much as I wanted to tell her that it was more about the intent and less about the ingredients, it would have done nothing to ease the growing concern on her face.

I watched as she reached out with a thumb coated in the ash from the bowl and drew something, I never bothered to ask what, on my forehead. She moved away, her eyes locking with mine before doing so and I found myself with two more sets of eyes on me. Sam stood behind me, mumbling under his breath as he held the book, waiting for Danni to finish whatever it was that she was doing before he moved to stand in front of me.

"Will it hurt?" I whispered as Sam stepped inside his own salt circle and I watched the smile graze across his lips, just for a second before Danni started her same trip around her that she had done to me, coming to stop in front of him, between us, and I watched her draw the ash symbol on his head. My mind went back to the catalogs of stuff that Crowley unlocked and I remembered where I had seen it. My grandmother's coven. Each member had it tattooed on the inside of their left wrist. I tried to keep myself steady and blinked away the fear but it did nothing for my racing heart. "I don't know if I can do this."

"Hey," Dean spoke up, catching my attention, his green eyes locked on mine. "You got this, piece of cake."

"Yeah," I agreed but mumbled under my breath, "the arsenic-laced kind."

Danni mumbled softly words almost to faint to hear, but Sam reached out his hand to me and slowly, I reached across the barrier of salt to take the warmth between my cold fingers. I swallowed hard as the feeling rose in my legs the more that Danni whispered but it was when Sam joined in that it seemed to travel straight to my heart.

"Ali, you have to repeat what I say," Sam whispered and I struggled to look up at him, while the heat rose in me. Nothing that we did was apparently okay for whatever ran through my blood because it always hurt, and it always seemed to be filled with fire.

"I can't," I whispered, my breathing ragged as Danni continued, "just say it, keep going."

"You have to say it, Ali. It binds you to me, through your voice, through your intent." I managed to raise my head and stared into his eyes. "Say it in English if you have too, if it's easier."

"Latin," I whispered and sighed, it was just so much easier for my brain to wrap around the words with the locks undone. "Just say it in Latin."

"Okay, just like a poem, Al," Sam whispered and I felt him squeeze my fingers as I closed my eyes.

"Yeah, I sucked at English Lit." I smiled and listened to him laugh.

"Adiuro anima mea ad te

Adiuro te per vitam meam

Non ut faciam tibi magicae

Preces meae spei somnia

Adiuro mea cor tuum

ut ad ultimas oras,

navis nocte

Adiuro me in tenebris lux tua." Sam finished and my heart sank, did he really know what he was doing with something like that? I wasn't sure if I could repeat it, not sure if I had the heart to, but I took a deep breath and cleared my head, picturing the words in English.

"I bind my soul to thee, I bind my life for thee, I make my magic yours to keep." Sam whispered in English as I followed him with Latin. "My prayers and hopes within your dreams. I bind my heart to yours, to find on distant shores. A beacon in the night, I bind my darkness to your light."

I repeated the words as many time as I could, hoping that I was still getting them straight as the pain started to take over, started to burn in my veins and my knees began to falter. I stepped sideways in the circle, feeling Sam's hands go from just holding my fingers to grasping at my wrist and I moaned, getting the last syllable out before the world started to spin.

The magic touched my heart and I quickly let him go, I tilted my head back, feeling the power grow within me, spread my fingers wide as I tried to find a way to release it and suddenly a shockwave throbbed through every molecule of my being, the blast sending me to my knees and Sam down across the floor, cut through the salt barrier and I found enough strength to look up and see Sam leaning back on Dean's legs where he had landed.

Cas came to stand beside me, his hand on my back, close to my neck, and I crossed my legs, glancing back at Danni, who moved over and crouch down near Sam, the three of them looking at me as if I had two heads.

"I don't think it worked." I replied, just in time for my world to go black.

There was one thing I hated in this world, more so since that fateful April trip and that was blacking out, so when I came too, I wasn't happy at all. In fact, I wasn't even eased into it. The world came spinning back to reality just as fast as it spun out and I sat up straight and quick on the bed, my hands bracing behind me as I looked at the three people who stood looking around the room and my eyes focused on Sam, who made his way over from the table to sit by me on the bed.

I didn't feel any different, I didn't see any different but what I heard was the whoosh of a heartbeat instead of the thump of it and that in of itself was strange. Sam reached out his hand, running it along my cheek as I turned and looked up at him, the worry evident in his green eyes and I took a deep breath in.

My chest felt like it was on fire, as if a cold was settling in for a nice few days of restless sleep but I didn't feel the fever, just the leftover side effects of the spell, and his lips caressed across my forehead before the pressed gently against mine, and I let my lids close for just a second more.

"It didn't work, did it?" I questioned when his lips pulled away and Sam sat back, glanced at Cas and Danni before he came back and shook his head.

"Not that we can tell," Cas replied stepping towards me. "You passed out before I could really check and see if a connection was made, but now that you're awake, there doesn't seem to be anything in the room that would remotely resemble a tether in power."

"Great, so all that for nothing," I whispered and felt Sam's hand on the back of my neck. I let out a few more of what I would associate as the breaths you take after having a few shots of hard liquor, the kind that burns on the way down and that was when I noticed the person absent from the room. I turned once on the bed and looked up at Sam, still unsure of what happened after I passed out and stared into his blue-green eyes. "Where's Dean?"


	58. DH God Killers -25

**Chapter 25**

Both Cas and Danni seemed to be at a loss as to where the older brother had disappeared to but my eyes went from watching them scramble around to the ones that stared at me in awe. I sat up more on the bed, and licked my lips before reaching out to touch his cheek.

"Sam," I spoke softly because I knew what was going on in that mind of his, "we knew there was a chance it wouldn't work."

"It needed to work, Ali," he sighed, leaning into my touch, as his fingers found my waist and he pulled me around to sit on his lap, straddling his legs and his arms enveloped me. I wanted to kiss him, take his face in my hands and lavish hope and love along every worry line that graced his skin but I couldn't because I had done this, I was the one that kept the spell from working. I had made the decision that there was no way I was going to be tied to him, not that way. "What do we do now?"

"We figure it out," I answered, wrapping my arms around his neck as he put his forehead down on my shoulder, "we find out more about the solstice and we figure out just what we need to do. There has to be something somewhere that can give us a line on what the hell happens next."

I looked over as Cas stepped into the room, the look on his face told me that something strange was up but he wasn't about to yell it across the room. I ran my hand through Sam's hair, knowing that he needed rest, knowing that they all needed something but what I needed was this to be over.

"Sam," I whispered and felt his arms wrap tighter, which made me send a look to Cas and shake my head ever so slightly.

 _Can you still here me?_ I questioned and watched the angel tilt his head, his lips shut tightly in a frown as he gave a small nod. _When Sam falls asleep, we can talk._

 _Do you have any idea what's going on?_ Cas' voice was like a bullhorn in my ear and I winced at the volume, watching an apologetic look cross his eyes.

 _I think I might have an idea._ I answered and he licked his lips, looked up at the ceiling and nodded before he turned and walked back out of the room.

For a moment, just a little while, I wrapped myself in everything that was Sam Winchester because I knew that in the coming days, this serenity, this absolute love that we shared, the way his soul attracted mine, the way his body and heart held me dear, those would be tested and in my own heart I knew no matter how strong they were, nothing could possibly survive the battle that was coming our way.

I left Sam in the room, wrapped his extra-large, red flannel tightly around me and stepped out the door, leaving it cracked just as bit as I stepped between the cars and waited for Cas, who had disappeared a while ago. We had maybe three hours between the time the ritual ended to where I stood right then to have dinner and get our stuff together. The 21st was edging closer and there was nothing any one of us could do to stop it.

I was sitting on the hood of the Charger when I heard the slight whoosh of wings and shivered as Cas' power seemed to flow over me. He took a step forward, his hands tucked into the pockets of those blue jeans and I watched as he leaned on the grill next to me, looking up at the stars.

"You had something to do with that spell going wrong, didn't you?" Cas questioned, after only a moment of silence.

"I wasn't going to let Sam get linked to me in that way," I answered and brought my eyes down to glance at his profile. His face told me that there was more to it than Sam not getting his end of the bargain, and I watched his jaw clench before those blue eyes turned to lock on mine.

"I'm afraid it's much worse now." Cas sighed, turning his full body so that now only his hip touched the car. "You've linked someone else to you and if you thought the possibility of your death was there before, it certainly is almost a guarantee now."

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. I knew something was different, something was wrong but I didn't realize that the tether might have hopped from Sam to someone else. "How did that happen? You would have thought if my intent was to keep Sam untethered that my saying the spell would have just bounced off everyone else."

"Unfortunately, no, there was a missing piece of the puzzle." My eyes flew open and I stared at him

"There's always a missing piece, but I didn't miss anything, I knew exactly what I had to _not_ do in order for it to fail. I made it so no magic could stick to me."

"Then you did it wrong."

"So, you keep saying but how? Every spell in my head lead me to that one simple piece of…" I paused and thought back to what was going on before I stepped into that salt circle. "Son of a bitch!"

"I don't think calling their mother names is going to help the situation, Ali," Cas argued and I rolled my eyes at him.

I thought back on what was said, his voice in my head, the feel of his hand on my wrist, the way he unwound the piece of twine and stuffed it in his pocket. " _If you want me to play my part, you have to give me something to go on. Don't fight the magic, just let them bind you to him."_ He hadn't meant Sam at all when he said that, he had meant _him_! He knew what the stupid twine was for and yet instead of saying anything, he put it in his damn pocket.

"We have to find a way to break it!" I snapped and jumped down from the car as I walked out a few feet before turning to him. "Cas, there has to be a way to break it. There's too much there, too much energy, too much anger, too much… power!" I swallowed, my body started to shake as I thought of the strange whooshing sound of the heart beat that I heard when I woke up, no longer the beat of one but the actual sound of the movement of the blood through every part of the body, and I locked my stare on Castiel. "I can't be tethered to Dean Winchester!"

Silently, throughout the night, Castiel brought me books from the research room in the basement of my home. After I had gone through the grimoire that Sam had used, and found it lacking anything about reversing the spell, we were off to find other avenues, which meant the stash of archived books that were sitting in the locked room down there.

By three, there were stacks on the floor, ones that if left on the table would have broken the thing into a ton of pieces. I wanted to slam the book shut, the one that I had just flipped the last page on, but that would have woken up the man that was sleeping (and not just lightly sleeping because I could hear the little bit of apnea in the way he breathed) on the bed not more than ten feet from me.

With a deep breath, I stood and walked out into the night once more, the door open enough so that I could hear Sam, so that I could make out the beats of his heart, the sound of his breath and, should he happen to wake, the changes in the patterns.

I hadn't picked up the blade since the last demon attack, I didn't intend to, because I wanted him to believe it worked, I wanted him to know that I could control it, but that was before I found out about Dean.

What the hell was I thinking trying to put magic against magic, or more to the point, how did I not think that Dean had some sort of ace up his sleeve? He would protect Sam with everything he had, he would take on all of his burdens, and I knew that from his story about his life, skipping Yale, putting up with John, protecting Sam from himself. How did I not put it in the equation that Dean would make that kind of move to protect Sam from linking himself to someone he thought was dangerous already and only bound to become more so as the days passed? Two more days.

Cas walked up behind me, okay for an angel he kind of just appeared behind me, but I had become used to the feeling of his own power, his own presence that it didn't surprise me anymore, not enough that I would jump at the feel of his hand pressing on my lower back as he came around to stand by me.

"Nothing?" He questioned.

"Nothing at all," I sighed and shook my head. "You would have thought that finding something to undo a binding spell would be easier than finding something to create it. Hex magic is big enough that there is usually twenty-thousands ways to remove it and two ways to do it."

"We'll find something," he said, trying to sound reassuring, but come on, this was Cas we were talking about and his "doom and gloom" voice seemed to register exactly the same as his "every little thing is gonna be alright" one. I reached out and placed a hand on his heart, not saying anything, just standing there with that link to him.

There was no transfer of power this time, no wave of energy as we stood, and I realized that maybe the tether was a good thing, not the fact of who it was linked too, but that I seemed to have a little more control when it came to drawing from him.

"You need to bring Danni up to speed." I whispered, "Sam and Dean, they're going to need all the help they can get if I go dark side, Cas."

"I agree," he nodded but didn't move out of my reach, in fact, his hand came up and he placed his palm down against it. "As for the spells, there is one more thing you can try."

"Really, just one more?" I gave him a grin and watched his unimpressed face appear suddenly. "Okay, I'll be serious. What are you thinking?"

"Your friend, Jones, he might know something, or someone that can help you with it." Cas really was a genius, in all of the time we spent looking, Jones had never crossed my mind, but, Cas was right, the man knew a lot of stuff, just enough to be dangerous.

"That might work." I whispered and listened to the man in the room sit up rather quickly. Cas' eyes went right to the room as he stepped out of my reach and I turned to look as Sam suddenly stood in the doorway, his eyes wide with worry, his hands braced on either side of the door and he was staring me down. I glanced back at Cas, gave him just a quick nod, and moved towards Sam. Placing my hand on the tall man's chest, Sam caught his breath and his heart as he stared down into my eyes. "It's okay, Sam, I'm here."

His arm came down, his fingers slid around my waist and he tugged me forward, bringing me into the room as closed the door behind him. With a glance at the stack of books, he moved me towards the bed, and brought me down to lay in his arms.

He didn't want anything, didn't need at the moment, at least nothing that would require a marathon and slowly he wrapped his arms securely around my body, one arm cradled under my neck and his leg hooked over mine before I felt his lips on my head. I curled my arms up, tucked between us, just to feel his heart against me and I closed my eyes, wanting nothing more than to stay in the security of that warmth for the rest of whatever life I had left.

Coffee, and six am seemed to just go hand in hand, or at least in my hand. Dean, who was never up this early, had been banging around in the room next door for almost an hour before it finally had me on edge enough that I got up and walked over to the diner. So, with five coffees balancing on a flimsy cardboard tray and a bunch of different pastries in a bag, I made my way towards their door. It was already open, the smell of his cigarettes seemed faint in the air, as if he had just finished before I had started my walk back and I knew that the pull of my distance had made him step outside.

Cas was sitting on the edge of the bed when I stopped in the doorway. Sam had gotten up and dressed while I was gone, not being able to take the noise his brother was creating, and was now tucked in the corner of the table with his laptop open. The bathroom door was closed and the shower was going, so I knew right where Danni was when I watched Dean pace.

"Maybe I should have gotten you a decaf." I admitted as I watched Dean stalk up to me, an angry look in his eyes as he just shook his head and took the cup before going back to his pacing. "What's going on, Dean?"

"We have forty-eight hours to figure out what the hell is going to happen," he answered and I just sighed.

Yeah, like I didn't know that, but I let him continue as I followed his movements with my eyes, I brought the coffee to Sam, felt the man's hand on my hip and turned, sitting down on his thigh as he continued to scroll through the downloaded Men of Letters archives. I felt a wet kiss on my shoulder, where the mark he had left was starting to fade, and then the warmth was gone, Sam had gone back to whatever had his concentration.

"There are a ton of books in our room that we can use to figure it out." I spoke up as I took a bite of the muffin, but that was when I heard the tapping of the keyboard stop, and the silence of the shoes on the floor and I looked between them. "What, you really think I'm just going to sit here and not try and figure it out? I asked for books, Cas brought me books. The problem is, I couldn't find anything in it."

"The library at the bunker might have something," Sam added, but Dean shook his head.

"You're talking about systematically dismantling one of the greatest libraries of supernatural lore in the world, Sammy, we have two days, not two years." Dean huffed and I could feel his frustration from here.

"John's cabin," I whispered and watched them all turn to me, even Sam stopped typing, but I didn't reply as Danni walked out of the bathroom.

My eyes went right to her, seeing the strange way that her body seemed to shimmer and I shook my head, trying to clear the strange way my vision took in the light that grew in here. But as she passed by Dean, I felt this strange little tickle in my chest and looked down as the vibration moved through me. I watched as Dean shifted, like it made him uneasy, as if it were foreign and my eyes went automatically to Cas, who looked worried.

"What about Dad's cabin?" Sam questioned, his warm breath against my ear.

"Ah," I struggled to collect my thoughts and shook my head, "He was with Asmodeus for a long time, who's to say there might not be something hiding in there, you know, like a book or something. I mean, the guy wanted Zane gone, he had the blades made, he kept them safe, there has to be something in there, right?"

"She has a point," Cas interrupted and I watched Dean stop dead in his tracks. "There may be something there that we didn't see."

"You weren't looking last time, there may be a lot of things you missed." Dean growled, his eyes focusing on me as I tried my best to look innocent and away. "I'm surprised you looked at all trying to keep track of Mary Poppins here."

"Mary Poppins," I laughed and let my eyes wander back to him as the smile faded from my face, "funny!" I watched as he gave me a mocked grin. "Can I kick you?"

"You sure as hell are welcome to try," he bantered back, but it was light, not the same as his usual angry self, and I watched him wink, which only got me to shake my head, something he truly grinned at. I put my coffee down, and went to stand up but Sam's arm held me down to his lap, which got a grin from Dean. "See, Kid, even Sam has my back."

"Actually, Dean," Sam spoke up and smiled. "I just don't want to see her kick your ass."

I watched the smile fade from the older brother's lips and he stared at the man behind me. "Not funny, Sam, I thought you were my brother." What the hell was going on? Why was Dean being so cute all of a suddenly, but then I realized what was going on. He was getting closer and before I knew it, I had one Winchester holding me down on his lap, and one standing before me as his fingers reached out and brush my cheek, but fear filled my eyes. Dean leaned down closer, staring at me with those green orbs and I heard the loud whoosh of his blood. "Sammy's got you now, and I'm okay with that."

"Why would you be okay with any of this?" I snapped, thinking I should really pull back from his touch, from the weird sensation that his fingers left on my skin but I watched him bite his lower lip just a little before backing up, his fingers moving to rest on my neck before he pulled away completely.

The look of confusion in his eyes told me that he didn't know either, that he really shouldn't be okay with it and that had me at once conclusion. Dean's lips tightened in anger and he moved towards the door. He looked at me one more time, grabbed the handle and walked out, slamming it behind him.

Danni sat back in quiet observation, watching me like a hawk ready to strike, but I didn't care. Sam felt me pull at his hold, and slowly he released me, letting me stand as I turned back to him, getting caught in his bright eyes.

"I'm sorry, I have to check on him." I whispered leaning in as Sam gave me a half-smile, before he tipped his head up and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"I know you do," he replied, but I didn't believe that he truly understood it, not for a minute and suddenly I was out the door, the brother at the table on my mind as I approached the one who leaned against the hood of the Impala, with his back to me.

"Hey!" I whispered, but maybe it came out more as a snap because his head whipped around and I watched him exhale, blowing out the smoke of his cigarette.

"Sammy know you're out here?" was the only way he responded.

"You do, that's all that should matter," I replied and moved around so that I was standing in front of him, his back to the room as I watched his face. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"Do what, exactly?" He flicked the butt down and stomped it out with his foot as he crossed his arms and stared at me.

"You know what, Dean, like you said, don't play dumb." His eyes moved to look past me, to shut down and not answer the question, but I closed the distance and grabbed ahold of his shirt, which instantly brought his hand to mine, and those green eyes stared me down. "You know what you did, Dean, and as stupid as it might have been, I know you did it for your brother, but now we have to find a way to undo it."

"I'm not undoing anything, Ali, this is the safest way," he scowled and his fingers wrapped tighter, not to hurt but to let me know that he wasn't letting go. "You need this, I _need_ this… don't you get that?"

"You need your life to be tethered to mine, really linked to me for what reason? To keep tabs on me so that when you really want to, when you're really, truly done with it, you know just where to find me to end it?" I twisted my fingers in his shirt, wanting to be angry but I realized it was pulling me closer as my hips touched his, the distance between us was almost nothing as his hand came down on my waist. We seemed to never have an issue with personal space, but the tether almost made it unbearable to watch him be so far away. "You should have just done that to begin with instead of tying yourself to some "psycho"!"

"I'm not trying to kill you!" He said through clenched teeth as the hand on my hip moved towards the small of my back, his fingers spreading wide as his thumb moved, like a sweet caress to calm me. "I wish you would understand that, Kid, I don't want to kill you, I want to save you!"

"No," I sighed and tried to back away, knowing deep down that there was no way he wanted to save the woman who killed his father, but the hands that held me wouldn't let me move as the tear escaped my eyes. "I don't deserve to be saved, not now and certainly not by the time this is over."

"Listen, Sweetheart," he mumbled as he moved his hand from mine and placed it on the back of my neck, holding me still as he pressed his forehead against mine. "I don't care what some damn prophecy says, I'm never giving up on you! You should know that by now. No matter how pissed I get at you, no matter what ugly stuff you do, Ali, I can't lose you and you know that, so stop…" I closed my eyes as I listened to his words, my body shaking from the strange feelings the link let off, "stop with the death wish, stop with the anger, and stop assuming that I want you dead. I need you Ali, as much as I need Danni and Sam, I need _you_!"

I let my body relax, let the tension out of it, but no matter how I felt being so close, my brain wouldn't register anything but the anger, that what he was saying was just some way to pull me in so that he could use it to his advantage. As I stood there, my eyes closed, I moved up in his arms, got up on my tiptoes and let my lips touch him, just on the side of his mouth, not anywhere on his lips but close enough, and when I backed down, I heard him let out a breath, a quick one, before his hands released me and he slipped out from between me and the car.

I placed my hands on the hood of the car, closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I felt him getting further away, but this was also when I looked up to see Danni standing in the doorway, her eyes filled with anger and I knew at some point, that was going to come to a head. I moved, headed towards the room, back towards Sam when she stopped me, placing her whole body between me and the door.

I planted my feet, knew what was coming and braced for the impact as her hand fisted up and she swung. It landed square on my jaw, and I closed my eyes at the pain, but it didn't move me, not as much as she thought it would, not until she swung again.

I didn't put up a fight, I blocked but never swung back as she continued to come at me, letting the anger take over. So much for being the carrier of light, she was full of fire and darkness as she opened up the flood gates. I had taken three hits to the face, not really feeling any but I kept my hands down. Finally, having been moved back beyond the ends of the cars, where Dean and I were before, I stopped, dug my foot in and balled up my fists.

"You had enough?" I questioned, and let Danni try to take one more swing before I blocked, letting her wrist catch on my lower arm. Her eyes were full of hatred as they glared at me. "You think you got in your limit?"

"You kissed him!" She snapped and that made me smile. Was that what this was all about? Danni lowered her arm and watched as I wiped my lip with the back of my hand, touching the swelling flesh with my tongue. It smarted but there was no actual pain.

"Really?" I shook my head. "Yeah, I kissed him… on the cheek, Danni, as always, per usual." I wiped my hand and watched as she pulled the blade from the back of her jeans, where she had attached the sheath, and rolled my eyes. "Put that away, Dan."

"You know, I waited for you to come clean, to admit that you wanted him, that you had more feelings than just the bullshit _need_ that the two of you are always spouting off about but you didn't," she laughed as she twirled it in her hand and it made me wonder if she knew anything about them, if she even knew that they wouldn't touch either of us, but as I raised a hand to get her to stop and think, she swung. The feeling of it touching my arm was one thing, the tingle of it slicing the skin was something completely different and I watched the blood that dripped from my arm. "I can't take it, Ali. I can't live watching the two of you do what you keep doing."

"Then what are you going to do about it, Danni?" I stepped forward, fully aware that her blade could harm me, but then again, a thought crossed my mind and I needed, absolutely needed to make sure that what I was thinking was true. I closed the distance, egged her on, goaded her into doing what I wanted her to and just as I was close enough to only see the blue in her eyes, I watched her draw back her arm and thrust forward. My hand came down on the handle, bracing over hers as I felt the tip penetrate my skin, just the tip before it wouldn't go any further.

"NO!" Sam screamed coming out of the room as the two of us stood there, holding our breaths as Danni stepped back and looked down. Sam slid on the gravel, coming to a stop beside us and watched as it was my turn to step back, but his eyes widened as he looked at the blade between us, the slice in my shirt, the blood that trickled from the small cut that the blade had managed to make before I touched it. "Jesus, Ali!"

"What the hell?" Danni whispered in disbelief and suddenly she let go, letting the metal hit the ground as I released her hand. I reached down, moved my shirt so that I could see the way the blood dried, but that there was no cut there, even the one on my arm had healed. "What are you doing, Ali, what kind of magic are you pulling?"

"It's the blades," Cas whispered, stepping up beside us and Sam reached out, pulling me into an embrace, his hand wrapping around my waist as he held my head against his chest with the other. Danni backed up, bumping into the angel. "They're not made to be used on the ones chosen to carry them, they're made to be used on the evil that comes between them."

"Bad choice of words, Cas," I snapped and watched his eyes snap up to mine.

"Zadimus," he corrected. "The prophesied evil that the blades were intended for, nothing else."

"And the demons that she uses it on?" Danni questioned.

"It is a demon blade, essentially." Cas shrugged and this made me shake my head.

"Yeah, essentially," I mocked and let go of my shirt before nestling into Sam's safe arms. That was when we heard the sound of boots on the dirt as Dean came up behind us. He stopped and looked at the blade on the ground, the blood that soaked my sleeve and the coating on Danni's hand.

"I leave for two seconds and what, all hell breaks loose?" Dean growled and grabbed my arm, ripping the sleeve up to see there was nothing truly there. After that, he took me by the chin, gently and looked at the swelling lip, the bruising cheek and the black eye I was probably going to have before he shook his head and released me. With a sigh, he stepped up, took Danni by the shoulders and looked her deep in the eyes. "We talked about this, didn't we?"

"We've talked about a lot of things, Dean," she stated and shook her head, but I couldn't see his face, just hers and she looked just as angry as she did when she stepped outside. "But there isn't anything getting done about them. And you promised, Dean, you promised that this would get better."

"I promised you that I would try and fix whatever was going on, and I'm trying, Danni, I really am, but trying to fix this," his hand went around to include all five of us, "this is going to take some time, hell it might take getting right down to the wire, but you know I'm a man of my word, Dan, you know I will do everything I can."

"I want to go," she growled at him. "Take me back to the bunker, take me to the cabin, but Dean, you need to take me away from _her_!"

"Why Danni?" Dean tried to be calm, tried to get us to understand just what was going on, what kind of conversation they had almost every night. "You know I can't leave."

"No, you can't leave her."

"Or Sam, or Cas, Danni, it's not just her in this, it's all of us." He released her for a moment, rubbed his forehead and glanced at Sam, who still kept me in a protective stance. "When this is over, we'll go back to the bunker," he said, reaching out a hand to take hers. "I promise, it will just be you and me."

"So, you keep saying," she snatched her hand away and turned, leaving him standing there as she made her way back to the room. Dean turned and looked at me, closed his eyes as he rubbed his brow and made a noise like he was sucking on his teeth before he turned and followed her.

Sam's lips came down on my head as he tilted my head to see the bruises that were starting to swell, and he sighed, but my eyes were on the blade that was lying on the ground, forgotten by the woman inside. Her blade vibrated differently than mine, but the pull to hold it was still too much and I saw the flash in my vision as I turned my gaze on the doorway once more.


	59. DH God Killers -26

**Chapter 26**

I dropped the book in my hand, heard it thump on the floor, and rolled my eyes at the ceiling, as I took in the old boards and the way John had nailed them all together, like a little puzzle all his own, something that he could pick apart and put back together, and ugh! It was ugly and infuriating because I found myself staring at it endlessly.

Sam walked by, ran his fingers gently over my forehead as I lay on the old dusty couch at the cabin. Cas thought it would be a wise idea to leave as soon as possible after Danni's blow up, not that I argued, or minded being locked away in a secluded place with Sam, but I could feel the tug of the tether to Dean and it set me on edge.

Cas apparently also thought it would be a brilliant idea to try and get her ramped up on angel juice before crap like that happened again. My face was inclined to protest but then again, maybe I deserved to be punched a few times, I mean Dean and I did have a unique relationship and if I were in her shoes, yeah, I would probably get a little pissed not knowing why… which we still hadn't quite figured out yet.

So, Sam, yeah, he was standing with a book open in one hand, the thick spine resting his massive palm and with the other, he was mindlessly playing with my hair, which was fine, but I was getting antsy laying on the couch doing not much of anything, and books were not holding my interest.

My first thought was this: Sam and I, alone in a cabin, in the middle of nowhere, with no one around. You could see where my mind was going, but then I had another thought as I looked around the room, caught the sight of a shelf braced against the wall that separated the kitchen and dining area. Yeah, I get it, what the hell is the big deal with a shelf but it wasn't the object but what was on it. The top was graced by the large stuff statue of a hawk with its wings spread wide but there was just something there, at the base that caught my attention.

I sat up quickly, which took Sam's hand away from me and I could feel his eyes on me as I made my way over to the shelf, dragging a chair, and climbed up. Not the best idea when the wooden chair under your feet seemed to groan with the weight of a five-foot-nothing person, but I chanced it as I reached up, and over, even stretching up on my tiptoes, to grab what felt like the leather binding of a book.

Pulling it down, I coughed as the dust that slid from it caught me right in the face and waving it away, then running a hand down to clean it off, I jumped down from the chair and made my way over to Sam, unwinding the leather strap that held it closed.

"What's that?" He questioned and sat down beside me on the couch as I got comfortable. It couldn't have been much bigger than a journal, maybe a six by nine size and when I opened the first page, there was a devil's trap and other sigils that graced the aging yellow paper. "What the hell, it's warded."

"Yeah, pretty heavily." I added and gently flipped the page once again and read the date, in the same handwriting that belonged to John on the letter he had written to me when I was born. This was John's journal. "October 30, 2006."

"Wait, that's after the hospital, after Dad made the deal to save Dean." Sam's voice had just a touch of excitement in it but at the same time, I could hear it crack with a little different emotion. "Keep reading."

"I decided to start this journal to keep myself sane. I've been having blackouts. Well, not so much blackouts as dreams, waking dreams that I just can't shake. I see where I'm going, I know what I'm doing but it's not me controlling well… me." I paused, and thought back to when I was standing outside my body, when Zane was controlling mine and I shivered. Sam's hand immediately came down to the back of my neck, giving me the support I needed as I pulled the book up again and continued to read. "He came to me less than a month ago, as I try to stay one step in front of the boys, hoping to figure this out before they do. I need to get the demon out, but like I said, _He_ came to me. He explained everything, told me what he needed me for, who he was there to protect and how could I say no to that? How could I tell him that no? I couldn't do anything to protect Ali, or Dean or even Sam, so yes, I agreed. I let the demon in and he pushed the other one out.

"He said his name was Asmodeus and that there were big plans that I needed to help set in motion. The only stipulation, I needed time to be me, and not let the demon take over completely. So, this should work. On my time, when I'm solely me, I'm going to make an entry in this journal, and pray that the boys find it, because everything I learn about how to stop it, I'm going to put here. It's warded, nothing evil can touch it, the devil's trap keep the demons from going past the first page, and even if they made it through that warding, unless you're human, you're not seeing these words. I need to make this work, I need to save my boys and that girl. I know there is another one out there, I just need to find her, and then, hope to God this helps them."

Sam sat back, and I held the book up, using the spine as a handle so that it could let the paged flip like a comic flip book, just to see what we were looking at. Every single page was covered in writing, symbols, spells, ways to ward, things to know, drawings of the blades, everything that John learned, he put in the binding of this book.

"Jesus," Sam sighed and stood shaking his head as he put the volume he was holding down on the coffee table and pressed his fist against the wood. "This whole time I thought Dad was just gone, that he had let the demon take over."

"Is that why you weren't surprised when you found out about the night your mom died?" I watched as he licked his lips and nodded. "So, you knew that John had made a deal with Asmodeus?"

"No, I knew that Dad was doing something that had been struck years ago," Sam sighed. "Look," he whispered, turning to me. I watched him run a hand over his mouth, like he was about to confess his greatest sin, but his hands came down and took mine as he inhaled deeply, "don't tell Dean, but I saw Dad in December of that year, he told me everything. About Mom, the deal with the demon and the reason, or at least some of the reason that he was doing it. He never told me about you, Ali, never once did he say anything about you, which is why the letter shocked me, why the fact that he pulled you from the river or hell even this is a bit of a shock to me. He only told me that he was doing it for us and that sometime in the future we would understand the reason behind it. I hated that I had to keep it a secret from Dean, but Dad swore there was something bigger in it for him, some bigger part that Dean had to play, and I couldn't put that on Dean knowing that we didn't have a timeline. I watched the demon return, the way it told me that I would never see him again, I thought he was truly gone."

"Don't blame yourself for not knowing, Sam," I whispered as I looked into his eyes and sighed. "Sometimes, we do the stupidest things for that we think are the right reasons because of the people we love."

"Yeah, he could have reached out, we could have helped him." Sam growled, his dark side coming out, the darkness and anger that he managed to keep in check was brimming and I could see it in his eyes.

"He's a Winchester, and more than that, he's your father, where the hell do you think you learned to be so pigheaded from, Sam?" I laughed and watched as he rolled his eyes, knowing I was right. "If you and Dean are this way, what makes you think John would be any easier to convince to take the easy way out, to ask for help or not sacrifice himself for his sons, for family?"

"What did he say to you before he died?" Sam asked, moving over to sit in front of me. I was surprised the table held his weight, but it has thick legs and a very sturdy top, it didn't even move when he sat down, didn't protest against his weight.

"He said I was beautiful," I whispered, never forgetting the words that came from his mouth, ones that still haunted me, "he said he was tired, so tired, that he hadn't slept in so long, all he wanted to do was sleep." I held up the book, "this would be why he never closed his eyes, he was always watching so he could write it all down." I blinked back the tears and licked away the dryness of my lips before I was able to meet Sam's eyes. "He told me that you needed me, Danni and Dean needed me, and to not let the darkness take over, and then he asked me to let him go."

I let the tears fall now, because that was the only way I was getting through this and I know that it hurt and probably for the first time since then, since I shut everything off, I really felt the loss, really let the knowledge of what I had done sink in. I looked up at Sam, whose eyes were filled with tears, some streaming down his face already and I shook my head.

"I'm sorry Sam, I couldn't just let him keep going like that," I said with ragged breaths and he nodded, reaching a hand out, placing his palm against my cheek as I tried to breathe through the emotions. "He asked me to let him go, Sam, and I did, I…" I shook my head thinking of the man's eyes, the smile on his face before I was caught in the blue-green of Sam's. "He said thank you."

And that was it, with those last words, I was in his arms, wrapped tightly against him as I let the tears fall, let the emotions run wild in me and Sam kissed my head, laid his cheek against the top of it and tangled his fingers in my hair.

We stayed that way for a while, just holding each other, neither one wanting to let go, but the book on the table just begged to be read and finally, when the cell phone rang and the quiet moments were interrupted by the sounds of Metallica, definitely a Dean ringtone, I sat back on the couch. Sam stood, clearing his throat before he walked over and grabbed the device from the table. Placing it to his ear, I heard him mumble "yeah" into the speaker as I reached for the book.

Flipping to the last page, because who doesn't read the ending first? I sat back and read over the last entry in the book, the very last thing that John wrote before the end.

 _January 2015, I forget the date, the real date, though I'm sure a Sunday. It has a thing for Sundays. It's the only time that it lets me go, at least for a little bit. So, every time it does, I write this down. I checked on the boys this week, or it did, but it didn't matter because they never saw me. Somewhere in Colorado, hunting something just insane. So many things have changed, so many new monsters. So much death._

 _They're amazing, my boys, hunters, the best in the world. Bobby did a great job. Some bunker in Lebanon, my father's legacy. Thank God, they found it, someone needed to find it. Now they have a home, a solid home and I hope to hell they keep it._

 _Sam seemed to be more in control, but still, I wonder what would have been different if…_

 _Dean's done a fine job of keeping him on track, and of doing what he needs too. I wish he had gone to Yale, I wish I had known about it._

 _They still lean on that Angel too much, the one that's always sneaking around here._

 _But the girls, they amaze me._

 _Checked on them too. Alison is amazing, keeping up with three kids, and what she fights inside. It will have a hard time with her, at least closer to the end, she'll fight this all the way. She never even knew I was close, bumped into her at the grocery store while investigating a haunting, stopped in to see Jones, he knew just where to find her. Power! The power that comes from her already is so much and she hasn't even tapped into it yet. Remind me to kill the demon before I die, the one that helped her grandmother, son of a bitch set her up for this but he locked it away so she couldn't use it to protect herself. She needs to protect herself._

 _Danni is amazing, you can see her light. Brought in Sans, that black lab that I picked up, to her clinic while in OK, damn near lost the stupid animal, but she fixed him. SHE fixed him. I watched it. There wasn't a Vet nearby and she quieted him, soothed and she didn't even see that she fixed him. No wonder the Vet said she was amazed there wasn't more damage when he ran out in front of the car. She has the light, definitely and boy are they going to make a pair when they come up against it._

 _It's returning, I have to go. Someday they'll find these, maybe too late, but they'll still find these and I hope they know how much I loved them. I tried boys, I really tried._

 _PS. The fireplace seems to need a good cleaning, Sam_.

Okay, first off there were multiple things in this entry that really got me going, one: not only did John know about my powers, he knew about my grandmother and Crowley. He knew about _Jones_? Hell, he _knew_ Jones, which was weird because looking back now, I could see how close we got and how quickly. Jones was told to protect me. I moved into that town in 2014, John was there in 2014. If he wasn't already dead, I'd kill him for keeping that secret. I might just have to substitute Jones instead, and try to get some answers before I offed him.

Two: yeah, still kinda going with this list. He knew about Danni, I mean he would since he knew everything the demon did, but he checked in on her. That amazed me, he was so close and we didn't even know it. She could heal the animals? She was playing with her powers way before this and didn't even realize. I smiled and shook my head, I wonder if she would listen to any of this right now, especially with what was going on. Dean and Sam! He knew about them, about Cas, about the bunker!

It was the last line that really got me, the little post scriptum. _The fireplace seems to need a good cleaning, Sam._ Why Sam? Did he know that we would be the ones here? Could he foresee the two of us doing just what we were right at this very moment? But my eyes went over to the small fireplace that lay tucked into the wall and I got up. It looked like it hadn't been used in ages, but then again, it had been replaced by a wood stove that sat by the front door, so the possibility that years had passed, even two years, without use was pretty high.

I heard Sam turn, his voice growing louder as he watched me place the book down and move over towards the iron gate. Iron, smart choice, not much could get past it, but I reached out, still a little mindful of the fact that, yeah, I was harboring some pretty evil crap these days, but when my hands fell on it, nothing happened.

"Dean, I'll call you back," Sam whispered, knowing he was intrigued by the way I was crouched down trying to look into the darkness. "No, Man, I'm telling you, she's good. Yeah… I got to go."

I heard the cell hit the table and suddenly, Sam was crouched by me, flashlight in hand and we both seemed to have the same idea at the same time. He reached over, grabbed a blanket and put it down on the floor, stuffing some of it into the empty, but sooty opening before both of us laid back and looked up into the darkness.

"What are we looking for?" Sam questioned, finally and I turned my head to smile at him.

"Way to just jump right in without questions," I laughed and caught his smile. "John left this message at the end of his last entry. The fireplace is in need of a good cleaning, Sam."

"Okay… that's not weird at all." Sam mumbled and shined the flashlight into the hole above us. "So, what are we looking for?"

"Something you might be the only one able to find, because it was specific to you, Sam."

"All right," he whispered as he looked around and I waited in silence as he did so. He was thinking, everything in his body had tensed as he multitasked, looking around the inside of the chimney and bringing up memories at the same time. And then it hit, I could see it in his eyes as they sparked and his flashlight stopped. "So, get this, when we were younger, Dad taught us a game, he called it "See Me Not", it was like hide and seek but the object of the game was to learn how to blend in, disappear without really disappearing. You know, hiding in plain sight."

"And this has to do with cleaning the chimney how?" I watched as his eyes scanned the darkness once more and a smile came across his face as he reached up and tapped on the brick above us.

Nothing, no soot, no ash, nothing feel from the spot and he grinned as he looked at me, before tapping again. That was definitely not a sound a brick would make and he handed me the flashlight. Holding it up so that he could see what he was doing, Sam's fingers seemed to caress the edges of what looked like a rectangle and suddenly he dug them in deep. The 'brick' gave way and started to slide out.

"Go," he whispered and slowly the two of us shimmied from our spots in the fireplace as he drew out that looked like a box from the inside. Dropping it where I had been laying, since I was now sitting up watching him, I saw that it was a shoebox and as the man sat up, he turned and pulled the container from the blanket and looked up at me, sighing. "Good old Dad, never one to make something easy to find."

Sam moved over to the coffee table, where I had set the journal and placed the box down. John must have spent days of his free time without the demon painting this thing, because no one would have ever known that it was just a box.

"I can feel it," I whispered as the whole thing started to vibrate, and Sam looked up at me, watching me shiver as I sat back just a little bit. Whatever was in there was powerful.

"We can wait for Cas," he whispered, his stare locked on me as I was locked on the box.

"No, go ahead, open it." I replied, took a deep breath and got myself together. Sam nodded, waited until he thought I was ready and then unclipped the rusty metal snaps that kept it shut.

Inside was an old book. Of course it was a book, I mean, what else would we need _one more of_ besides a book, but that one word came from Sam's mouth and I rolled my eyes.

"Huh," he whispered and reached in, picking it up gently like it was very fragile before sitting back and resting it on the table. I watched has his hand lovingly graced over the cover and traced the spine.

"Do you and the book need some alone time?" I questioned, smiling and watched the smirk come across his face but he didn't answer me, he just untied the strap that held it closed and opened it to a random page. His eyes scanned over the Latin, and it wasn't just regular Latin… "It's Archaic."

"You mean like on the bottom of the parchment that your Dad gave me? That kind of Archaic?" I moved from my side of the table to sit down beside him as we both looked over the pages. Each one was just like John's journal, filled with spells, notes, wards, symbols, sigils and pictures, but this one concentrated on one major topic. Zadimus. "I don't think we should be playing with this, at least not without reading it first."

"Looks like a guide of what to do against him," Sam whispered and stopped on a page, his fingers brushed over the wording and he sighed before he read it to me. "A binding spell for the powers of the blades," he cleared his throat, "nothing is more powerful than when the blades are in close proximity. When they are, the vibration of power grows, the destruction they can cause is beyond measure, but they can also be used for healing. Binding them together at the right moment causes those powers, the Light, to be pronounced, thus taking over the darkness."

"So, what does that mean? We bind the blades and I stop going dark side?" I questioned, but Sam just shook his head slightly, a little confused but a lot unsure.

"We're not binding anything else until we've got this whole thing figured out," he closed the book and set it in the box, closing the lid tight before he turned to me, leaned on one arm to support himself and used the other hand to reach out, caressing my cheek with his thumb. "Ali, I'm not going to say the book is something we can use, not with a title like that."

"Like what?" I placed my hand on his wrist, curling my fingers and saw him take a deep breath.

"Finis Omnium," he whispered, "the End of All."

"Okay, well that's not ominous at all," I sighed, but my eyes went to John's journal. There had to be something in there, something worth looking over.

My sight locked on Sam's, on the way he scanned my face, knowing I was distracted and slowly, he leaned forward. His lips were just a light brush, like he was testing the waters, at least that was my thought, until he moved, adjusting us both so that he was kneeling before me, his hand on the middle of my back as the other still caressed my cheek.

I reached up and grabbed his shirt, feeling like I was a little unbalanced, and he smiled against my lips as he slowly lowered me down to the carpet. The hand on my back slid down, smoothing over my ass before he grabbed my knee and pulled it over, allowing for the space for him to place his body as he situated himself between them.

Sam's kiss became demanding, not that I didn't want it that way, I loved when he was passionate, unburdened and very much out of control, but this wasn't him letting go, this was him trying to reassure himself and I wasn't about to stop him from doing what he needed, not if it made me feel good in the process.

Once situated on the floor, when he was able to move without the threat of falling over, his touch moved to my hip, running along my thighs, thumbing hard over the heat between them, which he smiled at when he was able to pull a moan from my lips. Those hot hands just seemed to get warmer as they glided beneath the material of my shirt, pressing against the skin at my waist, moving up until I couldn't take the fact that I was dressed anymore and helped him remove the damn thing.

His laugh was deep and needy but amused at the same time, as he tugged off his own shirt, grabbing it by the shoulder and pulling it over his head, only to come back down to my lips, crashing hard against me as he tucked it under my head. Now I was surrounded, now all I could smell in every direction was Sam, and that was a turn-on itself.

The jeans went next, teasingly as his lips danced over mine, but his fingers knew just what to do and it seemed like magic, or more to the fact, I was so lost in the feeling of his mouth and his body that it was as if the material between us had suddenly disappeared.

With Sam, foreplay was fun, more than fun, amazing, but never necessary, there was no way that I would never want him, never not crave his touch or want to feel him deep inside, so as he slipped in, his hips rocking in a slow, torturous movement, the only thing I felt was the wave of ecstasy that flowed through me.

I wrapped my legs around his hips, heard him growl against me as he was finally situated as far as he could go, thick and needy, and his hand cupped my ass, settling me down on his thighs as he tucked his legs underneath him and held me there. What an interesting position and one that he seemed to enjoy just as much as I did, considering that it hit just the right spot every time he moved.

It didn't take long for the two of us to build, and it seemed to take even less for us to come crashing down around each other. A frantic movement of friction, a driving desire to hear the other moan, had our mouths traveling over skin, nipping and kissing as our bodies moved with the waves that his pace created, and oh the pleasure of it. It was almost electric, how the shocks vibrated through my body, touching every nerve that his body didn't.

I heard him moan, that one, deep-throated growl that told me he was close, that he wasn't holding on much longer and that sent my mind and body reeling. I wanted that noise, more than I ever knew, needed it to fill my memories and when he did it again, I was plummeting over the edge, clenching down around him, biting his lip gently before I let my head drop back, and the pleasure of it all escaped my lips.

He leaned forward, capturing me in the fold of his waist as both hands came up to tangle in my hair and his mouth moved down, gliding along my cheek as his body did the same, drawing out and pushing in before those lips stopped and I felt his teeth against my earlobe. What the hell! That man knew every trigger that had me letting go and that's what happened.

The orgasm ripped through my body, making every muscle tense in a good way as his fingers tugged just a little and suddenly I felt him stiffen, move from long strides to short pumps as his body shook and his breath quickened, before the low growl of release left his throat.

He stayed just that way for a few moments, not moving any part of his body, letting me feel the pulsing inside as he put his head down on the carpet, his lips moved to my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around him the best I could, trying to close my eyes.

"I want to keep you here, forever." He whispered against my skin and I smiled, knowing that it was only a want and not anything that could truly happen, but at that moment, I wanted it too.

"I love you, Sam." I sighed quietly, adjusting myself against him, and he moaned as it touched very sensitive spots.

He backed away and looked me in the eyes, his face full of something that I couldn't quite put my finger on and I watched as he bit down on his lower lip, searching for something, searching for anything and apparently finding it.

"Ali," he spoke softly, as if with the next words out of his mouth, I might disappear. "Marry me."

This stopped me, _this_ stopped everything and I looked up at him, probably with shock clearing written in my features and the panic spread in his eyes.

I placed my hand against his cheek, let my thumb run over his lips and I smiled, a genuinely happy smile and I saw the relief on his face, as the corners of his lips turned up.

"Yes," was my only reply as I grinned like a little school girl. There wasn't a question of how, or when, or even if I would survive to see it through, but right then, it was everything that I wanted. _HE_ was everything that I wanted, always. "I would love to marry you, Sam, I love you so much."

"I love you too," he sighed, the smile still plastered on his face, but our joy was short lived with the sound of angel wings in the room and Sam looked up, over the couch, his arms wrapping around me to hold me against his chest, to cover everything and both of us watched Cas' give him an annoyed expression. "Cas? What the hell, Man?"

"Why are humans so shy about their bodies?" Cas questioned, glancing over the two of us. "You were given something beautiful, you should show it more often."

"Ah, not going to happen, Flyboy!" I laughed and watched as he looked at me, sighed and turned around. "What are you doing here?"

"I've done what I could with Danni at the moment, I was coming to see how you two had made out." Cas answered, his back still to us as we situated clothing. "I can see that it must have been very good."

"CAS!" I smiled, because he wasn't talking about the books.

Sam laughed as he stood, pulled me to my feet and the two of us gathered up what we needed, like socks and shoes before Cas finally turned around and looked over us both. I sat on the couch pulling them on as Sam leaned his foot on the table, lacing up the boots.

"Something in here is off, there's a new power," Cas whispered and I smiled as he looked around, almost like a puppy with his nose in the air trying to sniff out the snacks, but his eyes landed on the box in the middle of the table. "What is that?"

"It's called the Finis Omnium," Sam answered and went to flip open the snaps but Cas raised a hand.

"Probably not the best idea with me in the room. There is some sort of angel warding on it." He warned and my eyes went from Cas to Sam. "You need to handle it delicately, especially around Danni, but I know what book you're referring to and if used right, that can be a big help, I would suggest putting it in your room though."

"Way to be cryptic, Cas." I sighed and stood, grabbing my coat as I stuffed John's journal into the pocket. "So, what? You're here to take us back?"

"Yes, it seems so, unless you need more time to…" Sam caught Castiel's meaning and laughed.

"No," Sam grinned and his eyes glanced over me, "no, we're good."

I let the smile come this time, let it fill me, and I took his outstretched hand before he scooped up the box and both of us made our way to the waiting angel.


	60. DH God Killers - 27

**Chapter 27**

I was standing in the middle of our room, the one that Sam and I shared, just staring at the wall, waiting for that one moment, and it didn't take long. Sam had slipped out to grab something for lunch, had stopped at the room next door and confirmed with Cas, Dean, and Danni about what they would want for lunch and then he was off in the Charger, headed towards a Bistro in Old Town.

I don't believe Sam was gone five minutes before the handle turned and I listened to it open, sighing because I could suddenly hear the whoosh of his heart. I crossed my arms, let out a breath and turned in Dean's direction.

"You shouldn't be in here," I shrugged and watched as he moved with caution, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. "You know that pull you feel, that's the tether, and it's going to get you in a lot of trouble."

"I just…" his hand slipped out and he held it up as he stopped himself from coming any closer, "I just wanted to see if you were okay. Cas winged you out so fast I didn't get to check and see if there was any real damage."

"I'm a big girl, Dean, I can handle a fist fight."

"But you didn't handle it, Ali," and that was when he closed the distance, that outstretched hand was suddenly on my cheek and I closed my eyes as the connection there grew warm. I hated magic right at that moment, I hated what he had done to himself because it fed on what was already there, this link that we shared was now impossibly altered. I felt his heartbeat quicken when he wrapped his arm around my waist, his fingers pressing against the spots between my shoulder blades. "You didn't even swing back, you just let her hit you."

"For good reason, Dean, do you even know? Do you even get it? She's going to choose between us, between the two people she loves the most because she can't tell the difference between the good and evil sides. Either I'm the evil she has to kill off to protect you, or you're the one that is harmful to me, no matter which way this car crashes, it's not going to be pretty, and seriously, Dean, you need to try and keep some distance."

"I can't do that," he sighed and pressed his forehead against mine, "I thought the draw was strong before, I freaked out when you weren't where I could see you, where I could protect you, but now… now I don't know if I can let you out of my sight."

I shook my head, placed my hands on his hips, my thumbs caressing the bones that I could feel there, one of the sexiest parts of the male body, but I gathered everything up and pushed back from him. Looking up into his green eyes, I bit down on my lip and finally stepped from his embrace and watched as his fists clenched.

"Then do it from a distance," I snapped, trying to sound angry, trying to make him see that I didn't want him there, which was a blatant lie because despite everything, I wanted him there more. He was the one that was supposed to save me, he was the one that was supposed to end it for me. "Dean, I couldn't… if she hurt you because of some stupid moral issue of what's right and wrong… I couldn't."

Instantly, his arms were around me once again, this time it was a full embrace instead of him just holding me here and there. His arms surrounded me and I shivered at the feeling of being so close to him. The room began to vibrate, much like the blades did and I could feel his energy flowing into me. Quickly, breathlessly, I pushed him back and shook my head.

"You need to go!" I scolded and watched the anger rise on his face. "I'm not kidding, Winchester, you need to get out of here now!"

"Porter, seriously? Danni isn't…" I closed my eyes, suppressing the urge to lash out, the need to let the energy off before I was able to open them again and saw the flash across my vision. His body began to glow red and I dug my nails into my hands.

"Danni isn't the problem," I stated, begging for him to understand as the whole room turned black and the only thing I could see was the red outline of his body. "I am."

"Ali," he whispered and went to step closer, not really getting what the hell was going on and I shook my head. "Control it, Al, don't let it control you!"

"Get away!" I growled at him through clenched teeth and my hand went to the back of my jeans where I always kept the Walther he had given me. I pulled it on him, held it out at arm's length with a shaking hand, the anger growing in me and shook my head. "Before I hurt you, Dean, you need to get away!"

"Okay," he said calmly, getting the picture finally as I took a step backwards. "I'm going but I'm going to have Cas come in and check on you."

"No!" I snapped, taking a second to try and gather the control I needed, "please, don't! It will pass but Dean, just don't."

"Alright," he agreed and put his hands up as he backed towards the door, took hold of the knob and twisted it. The light from outside blinded me as he opened it wide enough to step out into, and with a little pause he said one last thing. "I'm sorry, Ali."

That was it, that was when I knew that it was over. He had seen the darkness rising and there was nothing stopping him now. He knew what pure evil looked like, what _my_ evil looked like and it broke my heart.

I lowered the gun, blinked away the feelings, tried to wall up the anger, but I couldn't do any of it and finally fell to my knees, just waiting for it to dissipate, the gun at my side, as my eyes scanned the ever-growing blackness. I was trapped in it, at least until the moment passed and I concentrated on breathing, but with the light also came the pain, the searing heat behind my eyes and I curled up on the floor, closed my eyes again, and prayed that the headache went away.

I felt the blanket come down on me, the warmth of large hands brushing my cheek as I lay there and slowly I opened my eyes to look up at Sam.

"Hey," I whispered, taking his hand from my face as I moved to get up, but a wave of dizziness had me laying back down again. "I think I'm just going to lay here for a while."

"Yeah," Sam laughed, brushing my hair back from my face, "you do that." I felt him sit beside him, as I rolled over and wrapped my body around him, putting my head on his lap as I pushed my body against his hips and backside. His fingers ran through my hair, making it hard to resist closing my eyes. "Dean told me what happened."

"Ugh," I groaned and let my fingers spread wide on his thigh, "I forgot about Dean. I mean, I didn't forget, but I need to check on him."

"He's okay, Ali," Sam's voice had a slight smile to it, "he's a big boy, he can handle getting yelled at by a girl."

"It was so much more than that, Sam," I whispered, more of a sigh, "I pulled my gun on him."

"Yeah, he told me that too." His fingers followed the line of my hair around to the back of my neck and he gently moved back to my jaw, it was all so soft, almost like a feather. "To bad you didn't pull the trigger."

My eyes snapped open at that comment and I found myself standing in an alley. I looked around, at the night sky above me and the darkness that surrounded me. I heard the laugh in the darkness, and whirled to see if I could pinpoint it but there was nothing.

What the hell was up with the alleyways and warehouse storage yards, anyway?

I could feel the blade vibrating in my hand, but couldn't remember when I picked it up, but my body seemed to know just what to do as I moved out of the walls, and into the middle of Old Town. It was dark, as if all the lights had been shut off, as if the power had been cut, but that wasn't all. Where I was, all of the tables had been stacked and moved against the building, all the rails that were movable, were now gone, leaving the cobblestone wide open for anything that might come my way.

I could feel the vision taking over, the haze in my sight told me one thing. Demons were closing in. Standing in the middle of a wide-open space was probably not the best tactic to use to get the jump on them and I moved back again, pressing to the building as I leaned on the brick.

I could hear them approaching. By the sounds of the elephant footsteps I made out about ten of them, and one of the first thoughts in my head was how the hell did demons get away with anything if they couldn't be stealthy. My heart raced, my vision turned completely and all I saw was the faint shimmer of the approaching bodies when I peeked around the corner. Just as the formation started to slow, like they picked up on my energy as much I picked up on theirs, I stepped out of the shadows.

It wasn't a conscious decision to expose myself at that point, but I had a feeling I wasn't making a lot of my own choice anymore as I winced at the laugh inside my head. When they all turned to me, probably a good even mix of men and women, all dressed in average meat suits, but the weird things was, none of them had heartbeats, not human ones anyway.

Well that's an interesting turn of events, demons that take over dead people, or they battered them so much that the human inside them no longer occupied the vessel, which would explain how deep the darkness in the smoky red color went. Yeah, these were some of Zane' power players, but my mind was curious on exactly why he kept choosing to send them to me for slaughter. Little lambs.

I stopped moving, put a good fifteen feet between me and the crowd and smiled, tossing the handle of the blade from one hand to the other.

"Hello, Children," I grinned and finally the blade came to rest in my right hand. I felt the violence flash through me. "Let's play a little game!"

They always say the first step is the hardest. With ten demons on you, every step is the hardest, but I moved around the best I could. I felt the blade twist and turn, slice and plunge through flesh. An angel blade nicked me in the arm, across the leg but the one who held it never got the chance to really drive it home. As approached, I reached out a hand, almost what Crowley would do in the show, but I didn't have to lay my full hands on him, I merely had to touch them.

I grabbed his arm, tightened my fingers around his beefy muscles and squeezed, my body did the rest. It was like an energy blast in his direction but as soon as he felt it, a soon as he started to spike, like I had just driven Dean's demon blade deep, his power flowed back to the point of our contact and I felt the rush of energy that my body took on. The sparking stopped, and the demon dusted out.

A very, very interesting turn of events.

It seemed to go on forever, as if when one died another popped into his spot, but no matter how many I killed, no matter how much I took from them, a body starts to give out at some point. I was on that edge, where the blade was too heavy, where it took all I had to keep the strength up and wield it, but I kept going.

When you become just the warrior, your mind never thinks to look for allies, to figure out who has your back, or if anyone does. You believe you are alone in the battle and no matter what you do, survival is first. So, when I twirled back at the sound of a different blade colliding with the one a demon held, I never expected to see a light body there, a human standing with his back to me, very much engaged in a reckless dance of his own.

I watched the way he moved, even as I slide my blade across the neck of the demon before me. He was graceful, as if he had done this a million times, knew every move, almost like a movie. When you watch something, or listen to it, it becomes a memory you can draw on and this was what it looked like to me. He had seen this movie and he knew every move, except one.

Twirling to battle my own black-eyed foe, I watched him from the corner of my eye as the angel blade came down across his thigh and he stumbled. It must have hit something important to see him falter, something he couldn't rise from, but he did his best to stay standing, still swinging with blade and fist.

Turning to focus on the one in front of me, I jabbed the blade into its gut, feeling the sick movement of it through flesh, muscle and internal organs before I yanked it out and watched the spark behind it's skin. Power flowed from this one, just as much as all the others and I rolled my eyes as I watched him stare at me in shock. Why were they always shocked when they were about to die?

I rolled my eyes and moved onto the next, but as I spun around I realized, the only one standing was the monster that _he_ was fighting, and losing.

Making my way over, I put myself before the faltering man, facing the demon as he came at me, bigger than me, heavier, but my warrior had done a great job with this one, there wasn't much fight left, but just enough for a blow to the face. Why did it always have to be the face? I punched back, the built up energy of the collective demons that I had inside me seemed to flow from that one punch and it sent him flying back.

I waited, stood with my back to the man behind me and watched as it charged. Swinging the blade again, this time it caught my stomach and I hissed at the feeling of it slicing my skin. Nothing was going to heal, not until I needed it too, but it did manage to give me just that extra lift I needed, that extra dose of really pissed off.

I smiled up at him, lunged forward, an action that he didn't think I was going to take and felt the blade slip through the fat of his gut, buried it deep and then yanked up on it as it finally split through ribs, breaking the cartilage from the bone in order to hit the heart.

With a cruel smile, I blinked, looked up into its black eyes and watched the first spark. His hand came down on my shoulder as he drew back the blade and just as he was about to thrust it forward, I drew out mine from where it rested inside him and swiped down, severing the arm at his wrist.

The demon howled as he started to die, the spark fading from him and this one, this one I let go, watching his body stumble backwards, away from me and I turned quickly to the man behind me. He had fallen to his knees, but I still heard the way his knife lifted from the ground, and mine was instantly at his throat.

My hand grasped hold of his hair, yanking his head back as the edge of the blade rested under Dean's chin. My breathing heavy from the exertion but I smiled at the clever man, because as I held him still at the head, his hand had managed to come up and the edge of his demon blade lay pressed against the main artery that ran the length of the inside of my thigh. His other hand gripped the outside of the same one tightly and I could feel his fingers digging in.

"What do you have, some sort of twisted case of Stockholm's?" I growled at him, giving his hair a tug, and I looked down at his bruised cheek, the blood that streamed from his split lip. "How did you find me?"

"I heard your heartbeat," Dean whispered and shook his head, suddenly stopping as the movement twisted the hair in my fingers, causing him more pain. "Ali," his voice was pleading, and his fingers kneaded the tight muscle in my thigh as he looked up at me, "you need to stop this."

"So you keep saying, but it isn't going to stop Dean. It isn't going to go away!" I leaned down as I felt the blade on my leg slip away, and then it fell against the concrete.

I could smell him the closer I got, everything that made him Dean to me was there at the top, anything that I would recognize as a person, that I had set to memory. Everything that he was seemed to ignite a fire in me but there was something different about him now, something that was added and I sighed.

I tipped his head back just a little bit as I looked deep into his eyes, at the pain there and I shook my head, glancing over the slice that was in his leg, the one that seem to be bleeding out and that was where his hand had gone. I sighed, closed the distance between us as I moved my blade slowly from his neck. He never moved, never put up a fight, even as I tugged on his hair once more, which got a small moan as a response and suddenly I felt the heat. Power flashed through me, and I realized that the smell just underneath the surface was his blood.

I pressed my cheek close to his, feeling the stubble of the days without shaving and let out a breath as I slowly reached down and placed my hand above his, not touching him, not giving away the fact that I had stowed the blade and he could overpower me at any time. I pushed the power towards the wound and heard him hiss as it began to knit shut, as the blood stopped flowing out of him and that hiss turned into a groan, one of pain as it finally sealed itself but I didn't move away from where my face touched his.

I breathed into his ear, shivering at the feeling of him so close, but he needed to know just how dangerous this was, how dangerous I had become and I pressed my lips there, close enough so that he could hear the growl in my voice.

"Stay. Away. From me!" I snapped at him, but didn't move away.

He wouldn't get it, he wouldn't understand that this was life or death, that this warning was necessary. No, he would think that "Ali's just being protective, she didn't let the dark take over," yeah, that would be what he would think and he would keep coming back. So, I needed to do something that he would truly hate me for, if he didn't already. I needed something to make sure he understood that this sealed the deal, that I was passed the point of Dean Winchester saving my ass… again!

I didn't release him right away, instead I moved my cheek along him until I could feel his nose, just the tip of it touching the heat and I looked up into his green eyes, ones that were staring at me with confusion. If this didn't get him, nothing would and I prayed that Danni forgave me but this man was one stubborn son of a bitch and it need to be done.

My lips brushed against him, his warm breath seemed to fill me as I took in the taste of him. Dean was a warrior through and through and the feel of his mouth against mine was almost too much. Just the brush of them together wouldn't be enough, he would see through that, but he might associate it with the demon in the warehouse. No, I need more. My free hand captured him under his chin as the one in his hair tightened and I kissed him with everything I had. It wasn't passion, it wasn't need, it was anger, pure and simple, but he leaned up into it, as my tongue traced his lips and the kiss deepened.

I growled against him, a deep-throated thing that made me sound possessive, and suddenly I backed away, releasing him from my hold and with my body exhausted and fighting to stay standing, I wiped the blood from under my lips with the back of my hand. His eyes were locked on mine, searching for something human and I let the power flicker across, let the vision change to see that I wasn't coming back, not anytime soon and his eyes went wide.

"Next time, Dean, I won't take that blade away, so stop listening to my heart, stop following that vibration. Because the next time you and I meet like this, you better be ready to use that blade, Ali won't be here anymore!" I turned and stumbled, but caught myself as I moved into the darkness, leaving him sitting there, healed enough to move, but shocked enough to be frozen in his spot.

I managed to stumble from one alley in Old Towne so some unrecognizable spot somewhere else in the city, but giving Dean the energy I had to heal him seemed to kick my ass harder than the dozen demons Zane had sent after me.

I lost my balance, reached out my hand to brace the wall and finally just gave up. Sliding down to the wet, stinking ground, I pulled one leg up and reached my eyes to the sky. I was weak, I was bleeding from the cuts of the angel blades and I had no energy left to even possibly heal anything myself.

Tears ran down my cheeks, as I blinked away the emotions of just giving up, just letting it take over and giving into the darkness but I thought about my kids and how they were so oblivious to this world. Wait, no, oblivious wasn't the word. They knew all about it, I never kept it a secret from them. They knew the lore, the saw the books on the craft, they studied just as much as I did because in our house we believed in the supernatural, we just never thought it was real.

Only my oldest knew, only he recognized what I was painting on the ceiling above the door, only he seemed to get the need for the protection spells on the basement and he told me that he got it, that he knew what he needed to do should a situation arise. I had introduced him to Jones, and together they had formed a sort of friendship that would keep the three of them protected should the need come, and looking at this now, looking at the way the darkness was taking over, he was going to have to use that contact to keep his brother and sister safe.

My heart thumped against my chest, and I swallowed hard as the darkness threatened to take me. Not the evil that resided in me but the darkness of unconsciousness. I felt my lips tremble as the stars twinkled above me and I tried to find my voice.

"Cas," I whispered, knowing that it was probably not strong enough to reach him, "Cas, I'm so sorry. I tried." I admitted as the tears fell from the corners of my eyes. "Keep them safe, don't let Sam do anything stupid. Keep Dean on the straight and narrow, he's liable to go off like a rocket. Make sure Danni keeps the light. Watch my kids, Cas! Watch my kids and make sure they grow up to be something great, show them the way." My voice faltered at the edge of consciousness, and I sniffled back to try and catch a breath. "Cas, if you can hear me, keep your promise, or make Dean do what he has too, but keep your promise, Angel."

"So touching!" Zane's voice echoed through the alley and I slowly turned my head, a smile on my bloodied lips as I watched him walk towards me, not at all surprised to see him in my weakest hour.

"Go away!" I sighed and shook my head. "I'm done, Zane, what more do you want from me?"

"You're not done, Precious, you're just giving in, letting what's really inside you take over." He smiled and squatted down beside me. I felt his fingers brush my cheek and I fought closing my eyes at the touch. I was cold and his hands were so warm. "Just let go, just… let the darkness take over inside you. You're so powerful, Love, so much more than I knew."

"Wasn't powerful enough to end you," I sneered and tried to move away from him, but I just couldn't, everything had gone out of me. He leaned in close, his lips against my cheek as he inhaled the smell of my skin, but backed away in a huff.

"Hmm, now that's an interesting twist." He smirked. "Not just one Winchester on your skin, but two, you have both those boys wrapped around your little fingers, don't you? My, my you are a cunning one. Tell me, Kitten, which one do you want more?"

"Screw you, Zane!" I sighed and pulled away from him, but his hand came up and caught my jaw, holding me in place as he kissed along the edge of my cheekbone, right up to my ear.

"My pleasure," he laughed and hauled me up the wall.

I had no struggle left in me, nothing to fight back with and as his body pressed against mine, I stared into the darkness. I could feel his hand on my shirt, snaking up underneath it and I never moved, but when his lips came down on mine. When his mouth covered the breath that I let out, something in me stirred. Something dark and dangerous and I found my hand up in his hair, gripping it tightly, just as I had done to Dean.

That sealed it, that one little image of Dean kneeling before me, my lips on his. The image of Sam flashing as he hovered above me with the words "marry me" on his lips. Danni's smile as we sat across from each other in the little Hideaway Café, and the way she laughed when we were down at the river. These images, these people brought me back and I moved into his kiss, gave into everything evil about it and I took it over as he held me up.

The depth of my soul seemed to crack then, a large pop in my ear and I felt it throughout my body. What the hell was I doing? What the hell was I letting _him_ do? With the sound of a snarl, something from way down inside, something low and fierce, I pushed him back, and stared into his glowing blue eyes.

"Don't touch me!" I felt the vibration sing through me, something that made him step back, releasing me from my hold as I locked on his eyes. "Don't you ever think that I will ever give you permission to do anything to me, body or soul!"

"Oh, sweetness, I don't need your permission to do anything." He smiled something that was pure evil and he pushed the waves back at me. My whole body sung as just the power itself had me pressed against the wall. Zane blinked, that sly grin grew wider. "I'm going to enjoy wiping the scent of those Winchesters from your body, inside and out."

"You'll never win, Zane!" I forced it out, breathlessly, not bothering to dial back my own power as he grabbed a handful of my hair and tugged my head away from the wall.

"Oh, but I think I already have," and with that his smile turned to a sneer as he slammed my head back against the wall.

The feeling of being on the verge of unconsciousness as he held me up, the heaviness of my arms and weakness of my legs told me one thing. I was in some serious trouble, but my mind still tried to focus, tried to find a way out, even as he wrapped his arm around my waist and lowered me to the ground.

I blinked to stay awake, but the fuzzy gray area around my vision started to close in. The light flickered out, and I could make out the way Zane looked in human form, before it flashed back to the red, trying to keep me aware as he straddled my legs, reaching down to the waist of my jeans. I was beaten, bruised, cut and bleeding but my mind was hanging on, as if calling out like a beacon.

I wanted to let go, wanted to fade into the night and leave it all behind, but it wouldn't let me. I could hear my heartbeat, the strong steady whoosh of my blood and I blinked again with heavy eyelids before the shadow loomed over Zadimus. I wanted to smile, wanted to just take it all in but just as my sight gave out, the bright white light of an angel blade piercing his chest and the warmth spread over me just as quickly as the darkness.

I heard the body drop more than actually seeing it, and suddenly felt warm hands on my neck, checking for a pulse. Those hands moved to the cuts and damage done in the fight, making sure there was nothing that needed to have pressure applied. I moaned, hoping to tell them to stop, to just let go, but the sound only brought whoever it was closer, and the touch of a thumb over my lips brought the feeling of familiarity at the same time that it brought me peace.

"Hold on, Ali," his voice whispered, but whose voice was it, someone that I knew, someone close but I couldn't distinguish the difference between anything over the steady sound of the beat. I was lifted then, a strong arm under my neck, one under my knee, cradling me against his strong chest and I could smell him, everything about him, but who was he? Why couldn't I place him?

It didn't matter, not really, because I was giving in, and as I faded into the silence, I heard him one last time.

"For God's sake, Ali, hold on."


	61. DH God Killers - 28

Chapter 28

I leaned against the dresser, my arms crossed over my chest, my legs crossed at the ankles and I watched the commotion by the bed. Dean had pulled up a chair, Sam sat on the edge of the bed. Danni was up by the very top where they had literally unscrewed the nightstand and moved it out of the way. I could see her feet from where I stood, okay, I should say I could see my feet from where I stood, because I was watching them hover over my body.

When it happened this time, when I was pushed out and stood there as a detached spirit, it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. This time, I took it as a saving grace because whatever the me on the bed was feeling, I, as I stood there watching, was completely numb.

So, as I said, Dean had pulled up a chair, his hand curled into a fist, and then the other lay across it but they were pulled up to his lips, as his leg bounced. He was never a patient man. Sam, on the edge of the bed around the area of my waist, held onto my hand, as he pulled up some of the gauze from a bleeding wound, the emotion on his face was one of pain and shock. Danni was wiping away the blood from my face, neck and any exposed skin to see what the real damage was and Cas… this made me look around the room. Cas wasn't there.

My thoughts turned to the roving angel and watched as he seemed to hear them, or it was just dumb coincidence that he stepped through the door at that point in time. He set books, jars, blades and bags upon the table, stripped off his canvas jacket and moved over to the end of the bed, his hand coming down on Dean's shoulder as the green eyed one looked up at him before letting out a sigh.

"Any change?" Cas questioned, because yeah, no one else said a thing.

"Nothing yet," Sam said in a hushed voice, one of disbelief and sadness. I'm thinking he's pretty sure I'm not coming back from this one, and Cas found a spot next to his friend at the end of the bed, doing what the others were, staring at the body that hadn't moved except to breath.

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"There is a time and place where all of us must decide a course of action." A strange male voice spoke to me, and I straightened as I slowly turned to my right.

Standing next to me was a man, taller than Dean, just a bit shorter than Sam, broad shoulders, light brown hair that looked as if he had just raked his fingers through it and bright eyes, the kind that you could just see his heart in, but this one, this person was someone I recognized. And that was all I needed was one more angel trying to help me out.

"What are you even doing here Gadreel?" I growled, and watched Cas turn in my direction. His eyes just washing over the area I was standing in, not really seeing me. But with the arrival of Gadreel came the burning question, what happened to Kevin in this timeline.

"Ah, yes, I forgot you would recognize me in this body." He smiled and came to stand beside me at the dresser, his hand folded in front of him as he watched what the others were doing. "This is not the end you know."

"Certainly feels like it." I moved to sit up on the wood, pushing aside some things that were there, papers that were in my way and Cas once again looked in our direction. "I'm just waiting on Tess to come pick me up."

"Do you know why you're standing here?" He questioned and I rolled my eyes because, obviously, he had something to say and in the angel's usual round-about fashion, he would get there eventually, so I settled my eyes on him and raised a brow for him to continue. "You're standing out here, and not trapped in that pain because of what's inside you."

"A demon?" I shrugged.

"A conscience." He replied.

"So my conscience decided to kick "me" out so, what, so I couldn't feel the pain? So that I could watch my loved ones freak out from the outside?"

"No, so you could make a decision," Gadreel smiled and looked down at me, because, yeah, even sitting he was still taller and I searched his blue eyes.

"How come you're not like Cas, not so stoic and "I don't understand that reference?" I watched the smile fade to an embarrassed grin and his eyes went to the floor.

"Long ago, my name was something else, something… different. I was someone different and I made mistakes." He didn't seem so embarrassed about the mistakes he made, he seemed proud and even a little fond of them. I watched the blush come up on his cheeks. "I fell in love, which is not something that angels do often, if ever, but who I fell for was not one of favor and from that union came something terrible, but beautiful at the same time. Life itself is always beautiful, the power behind it was became evil. I was banished, locked away for a very long time, until I was able to see the errors of my ways."

"Ah-huh, that smirk and that little flush feeling on your face, that's not error, that acceptance and the whole "yeah, let's try that again" thing is written in your eyes. Who was it, your forbidden love? Who had you so tied up that you would go all Romeo and Juliet?" I said with curiosity and watched as his face dropped, the emotions turned in a direction I hadn't expected. Gadreel was sad, almost painfully so. "Jesus, you're Seraphiel!"

He turned at the sound of the name and stared me in the eyes, "I have not been, not for a very long time. Where did you hear that name?"

"Asmodeus told me, when he spouted off the story of your little love child and my ancestors. He thought you were dead, but what, you were locked away this whole time?" I wanted to know, in fact with a second chance to get answers, I wanted to know everything.

"Yes, and no." He sighed. "I was locked away, as I said before, until I was reborn Gadreel, but I didn't stay away. When Asmodeus took John Winchester, when he set into motion the actions that were needed to bring you and Danni here, to activate the blades, I went to him. I was the reason for the wards in the cabin, I set them there. I gave John the knowledge of them, and I gave him everything you see in that journal. I was the one that convinced Asmodeus to release him once a week to make sure that he got everything down on paper because I knew that Sam and Dean would take his words, his accounts easier than the word of a demon."

"Okay, so where were you in the end? Where did you go when Asmodeus smoked out, because seriously, if you were there and didn't man up, I could stake you right here and you can join your lover!" I stared at him in anger.

"I wasn't there, but I wish I was." He sighed, and turned back to my body. "The details of that evening are unimportant at this moment. I didn't come here to discuss what was going on at that point, nor did I come here to explain myself or my relationship. I came here because of this."

"What me kind of floating around here aimlessly?" I laughed and shook my head. "Thought you said I pushed myself out, to save myself the pain."

"You did, but you also have another reason."

"Okay," I said rolling my eyes, "you got my undivided attention, so go ahead and shoot."

"What you ask of Castiel is something that could possibly have catastrophic ramifications, not for just you but for all involved. You need to weigh the options before you really make him decide on this action." Gadreel turned to me, in fact he turned and stood right in front of me. "You do understand that what you ask of him is no small task, that there will be others involved, such as myself, which is why I'm here, Alison. There is too much power needed for one angel to do this alone, even one as strong as Castiel."

"Will the consequences include the safety of my family, the wellbeing of the Winchesters and possibly a normal life for Danni?"

"All the possibilities are there, yes, but not just the ones you search for, the ones you wish would happen. There are infinite ways this could play out and to say with certainty that the outcome would be just as you wish, or you predict. If this were to happen, if you make Castiel go through on your promise, Alison, there is no guarantee that those you love will be the ones you love now. It's possible that they will be completely different people."

"It's the only way out, Gadreel, the only way that I can see anything remotely good coming from this, because the other option is that man there." I gestured to Dean as he continued to stare down at the person on the bed. "He would be my second, no, my last choice because if Castiel can't do it," I looked up at the angel in the room, "I don't want to bring this evil back to my children, and I couldn't live with myself after what needs to happen."

"How do you even know how this will end?" He questioned, truly curious.

"It will end the same way everything else does, someone will die. Bad guys, good guys, we'll all lose something, life, humanity, ourselves. Isn't that always what happens in battle?" I glanced up at his face, all the emotion was gone and I nodded, because he knew I was right.

I hopped down from the dresser and moved slowly over to the bed, the angel's eyes on me as I did. I stepped up to Sam, placed my hand on the one situated right against his lips and slipped in. It was weird to see my own flesh disappear into his and I used him, like a puppet, moving his arm until he was down by my boot, where the God Killer blade lay beside me.

Wrapping my fingers around the handle, I used Sam to bring it to my chest. I watched Dean's face, Danni's eyes as Sam laid the blade against my sternum, and then I backed away. On his own, the man I had just marionetted, took the hand he held and folded it on the handle. Dean sat back and I moved towards Danni, doing the same with her, but I had her reach into her own boot, grab her blade and set it beside mine. I could almost feel the weight of them both in my astral form before I turned back to Gadreel.

"I'm going back, I'm going to do what I can, but Gadreel, help Cas," I said softly and turned to Sam, my finger brushing over his hair as I moved it from his face. "Living knowing that they're alive, even if it's not something I can control, is better than being dead and knowing I left them behind, but I will choose one over the other if it comes to it."

"All we can ever do is hope that you choose the right way, Alison." He said softly and I looked back at Sam as the flutter of angel wings bounced around the room. Cas' eyes turned once more to the spot where we had been sitting and I watched his brow crease when he turned back.

With a deep breath, I placed my hand on the blades, both of which were now under the palms of my hands and I reached out to Danni, setting my free one on her shoulder, a move that had her looking down at the spot, feeling the chill.

"Fac me spiritus," I whispered and suddenly, as if I were in a vacuum, I was in my body, and taking in the deepest breath I could.

The blades began to warm and I found I couldn't release them, my eyes wide as I stared at the ceiling, the power rushing through me and all I could see was a bright light before the pain of every injury lessened and faded into nothing. Swallowing hard, I stretched out my fingers, releasing the blades that were quickly removed from my chest as I looked over the shocked faces of the ones that sat around me.

But the one set that got me, the one that I had hoped would bring me some comfort, because the others were filled with love and gratefulness, stared at me in confusion, pain, anger and relief and I just had to look away from Dean.

What had I done? What had I become?

Sam's hand rested on my cheeks as my vision focused on him. He was staring at me, as if I were a ghost, but he didn't react as he looked deep before he backed away. We were sitting at the table now, the door to the room was open the sun, what was left of it was shining though and Dean was out by the cars, a cigarette in his hand, Danni and Cas were in the other room practicing whatever they needed to do. So, where we sat, the two of us, and I know he had questions.

"Did you really do what Dean said?" Sam whispered and I glanced out at the green-eyed man instead.

"Clarify please," I whispered and met his eyes once more.

"You tethered Dean to you?"

"Unintentionally," I shrugged and watched the anger cross his face. I wanted to reach out, to take his hand as they feel away from my face but I didn't. Sam needed to be mad, he needed to be a lot angrier than he had been. He was holding it in, holding it together for everything that was going on and I didn't want him to. I wanted him to feel angry, to be angry. No one goes through this and steps away without some need to throw a punch, but Sam was trying too hard to keep that part of him hidden. "It wasn't supposed to happen the way it did, in fact, I didn't know it happened at all until… look it doesn't matter, Sam, there was just no way that you could have been tied to me!"

"But you didn't give me that choice," Sam snapped and I flinched, because it was deep and angry and the power behind it hit me like a brick.

"I had said many times that it was a bad idea, and I didn't want it, but you didn't listen." I sighed and stood, feeling his eyes on me as I paced the floor, away from the door and the man outside. "I even went to Crowley to unlock the magic inside, Sam, and I did it to protect you."

"You went to a demon? To protect me?" He gave me a little sideways smile and shook his head as he stood and turned to me. "I don't need your protection, Ali, I need you. I need you here and alive and in one mentally stable piece."

"Which you were not going to get if you tied yourself to me!" I shook my head, trying to figure out how to explain it to him, but there was only one way to do it. "Did you ask your brother what he saw when he found me? Did he tell you the destruction and the carnage that I left behind when I did that to those people, what this power ramps me up to do?" But I saw him lower his head, just a little and look at the floor. Maybe Dean had told him, maybe he didn't but it didn't matter because he needed to either be reminded or enlightened. "I killed… people, Sam! I don't care if they were demons, or if they were dead before I started slicing but they were people. Now they're nothing more than shredded remains, cut and stabbed and limbless." He looked up at me as I got angry thinking of the destruction that I had caused in the last few days. "I'm not saying you couldn't handle it, hell, I'm pretty positive that Dean isn't handling seeing that crap as well as he's letting on, but, Sam, I don't want you to have to deal it with, I wanted to save you from it, because it's beyond bad."

"So, you go to a demon to protect me, you rope my brother into a tether to save me and what, you have this plan with Cas that you won't tell anyone about?" I looked up at the ceiling as I leaned back on the dresser. "Secrets, Ali, secrets will get you killed."

"That's the freaking point!" I snapped, loudly this time, catching Dean's attention. "I have two choices, Sam, two! See this through to the end, and by end I mean pushing up daisies, or… I get Cas to make me a promise that he can't refuse. AND NO! I'm not going to tell you what it is because it won't matter anyway. If you knew half of what I was feeling right now, Sam, half of the darkness I've let in the last few days, I don't think you would argue with my reasoning for this."

"That's the issue," Sam whispered, leaning down close to me. "You haven't let me in to share it with you, to help you through it. But Dean," he huffed a sarcastic laugh, "Dean knows everything, and why? Because you keep going to him instead of me, because you don't think I can handle it."

"I didn't say you couldn't, Sam, I said I didn't want you to." I reiterated and took in a deep breath. "And I don't go to anyone, Sam, trust me when I tell you that I would keep his ass locked out too if I could. If you want I could tell you now, let it out start to finish but in the end, you wouldn't like any part of me. You wouldn't like what remains, and you certainly wouldn't want to keep up with the question you asked me earlier. That would be out the window because there is no way you would marry anyone like me."

"What?" Sam whispered, his voice dropping as I shook my head. I stepped away from the dresser and closed my eyes before I placed a hand on his chest, felt his heart racing as he clenched his fist, holding himself back from wrapping his arms around me.

"I've done very, very bad things, Sam. They make my stomach turn just thinking of them and I hate myself more than anyone could ever, but if you knew, if you really knew what I was capable of doing, you wouldn't want me." I spoke softly, and slowly opened my eyes to connect with his. Just for a moment, I stood there and watched him. I let him think of everything, of anything that might make him believe me. What had Dean told him, what had he shared with Sam about the carnage that I left behind, about earlier when I told him to stay away, when I kissed him, and slowly the darkness clouded over Sam's eyes and I nodded, a small smile crossing my lips. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

I turned to walk towards the bathroom, the need of a nice hot shower and some peace was something I desperately needed, but just before I reached the bathroom door, I placed a hand on the sill and looked over at him, then looked past him at Dean, who leaned on the back of the Charger, eyeing both rooms protectively.

"I'm sorry, Sam." I sighed, but as I turned back to my original course, I felt his hand on my arm. He spun me, his hands coming down on my neck, his thumbs caressing my cheeks and he tilted my head up so that I had no way to look anywhere but where I wanted too.

"I don't care how dark you go, I don't care what you think you had to do to get your point across to my brother, and yes, I know about that," my heart skipped as he confessed to knowing about the kiss and my lips parted wanting to explain but the pad of his thumb ghosted lightly over them, keeping my words silent, "but Ali, you can't protect us all. You can't push Dean away, you can't keep me locked out or hold me off with some little twist of magic. You just can't, we love you too much. I love you too much to let you go, darkness or not, so whatever your plan is with Cas, stop! Just stop! We'll figure this out together."

I wanted to reply, wanted to say some smartass remark that would set him off again but there wasn't a time between breaths and the feeling of his lips against mine to form a coherent thought let alone a comeback for that. He left me breathless at the door, releasing my lips as he pressed his forehead against mine, and as he backed away, I saw a mix of anger, confusion and acceptance in his eyes, before he turned and walked out of the room, stepping up to Dean, who stood straight and glanced between the two of us before locking onto his brother.

I blinked back the emotions, shook my head and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

When I got out of the shower, I found that the group had managed to pull most of the chairs from not only our room but from Dean and Danni's too and they were set in a horseshoe in front of the space between both doors, with the two small end tables placed far enough apart that everyone seemed to be able to reach whatever beverage they had been handed.

When I stepped out, Sam was hunched forward using what he could of the table to read through the thick book that had been placed there, Asmodeus' grimoire, and it amazed me that he would read it so openly, especially with some of the symbols that were exposed. Dean was typing away on the computer, a rare sight for anyone to see, and Danni was nose deep in the books that she had piled beside her. Sam looked up when I sat down, and he changed a glance over the other of two before he looked up as Cas stepped out of the room and handed me a cold soda from the fridge. With that hand off, Sam went back to the book.

"Thanks," I whispered and watched as Cas moved to stand as if he were a lookout.

I noticed the way that he kept looking at me and finally I rolled my eyes as I stood. Yeah, I guess I could take a hint when he needed to toss one, and the two of us made our way out towards the front of the cars. It was weird to me that neither had moved much considering how long we had been there for. I mean, I know Dean could have only found me driving the Impala, and that Sam had used the Charger to go get food a few times but to have actually seen them move myself was rare this week.

So, when I leaned against the hood of the Charger, I noticed the front license plate had been removed and I smiled. Way to keep yourself safe, Sammy. No cops rolling by would be able to match this one to anything that was stolen in the last few weeks, but I could have been mistaken, this could actually be Sam's car now and I never bothered to ask. I ran my hand over the curve of the grill and let out a breath.

"What's up, Cas?" I questioned as I finally turned to him.

"Gadreel was in the room with us earlier, wasn't he?" The angel inquired and I watched as that stoic face continued to look out at nothing.

"Actually, yes, he was," I shrugged. "And he's the reason I'm here again. Why didn't you tell me that this would involve other angels, Cas?"

"Would it have changed your mind?" His eyes snapped down to meet mine as my lips tightened and I clenched my jaw, giving just a slight shake of my head. "Then it really doesn't matter."

"Catastrophic ramifications, Cas, that's the words he used!" I sighed, and rubbed my hand through my wet hair. "What the hell kind of catastrophic anything could he be talking about?"

Cas looked over the three people sitting on the porch, which got my attention and I found myself peeking back as well, only to find Dean's green eyes on me for a second and Sam sitting back in his chair. Cas looked down at me and stuffed his hands in his jean pockets.

"Remember what I told you, Sam walks a thin line between his darkness and the light you give him. If he slips over that edge, we may lose him forever," Cas sighed and I had to look away, "and Dean sees the worst in you now, just as you wished. You made it abundantly clear to him that the demon inside you had taken over and that knowledge itself may stop him from ever trying to save you."

"Have you met the man?" I asked sarcastically and shook my head, turning back to face the parking lot with my arms crossed. "Trying to convince him that I'm anything but a perfect freaking angel is harder than it looks, trust me, I mean "way down we go" doesn't describe the level of demon I went."

"Still, Dean seeing you in any other light than good would be detrimental to anything you hope to accomplish." I stepped away from the grill and closed the space between us.

"What I hope to accomplish is to keep all of us alive, Cas, and I don't care about the way it turns out, if that's what happens, then I'm good with the "ramifications" no matter how catastrophic because you know what, it gives me a chance to fix the crap that I'm doing a fantastic job screwing up at the moment." I replied, my frustration getting the best of me because my tone was harsh, and I took a deep breath before stepping past him. "Tell Gadreel that no matter what happens, if Plan A doesn't work, then he better have his feathered ass ready to help you on your promise."

I moved across the front grill of the Impala, trying my hardest to keep hold of the pounding beneath my ribs. I could feel the race of my heart, the pain in my sternum and I rolled my eyes. Hell of a time for a anxiety attack, which I stopped me and pressed my fist to my breastbone, but that was when I felt the hand on my arm.

My eyes, that I hadn't realized I closed, opened fast and I found myself staring into the blue ones of the woman who stood toe to toe with me.

"Are you going to swing?" I whispered and watched her look at me with confusion. "Cause, if you are, just give me a heads up so I can brace myself."

"I'm not going to hit you, Ali," Danni sighed and stepped back. "What's going on?" She questioned, her concern evident in her voice as she looked at my hand pressed against me, and I moved it quickly, trying to shake off the feeling. "Ali, talk to me."

"It's just nerves," I whispered and looked away but her hand came up to touch mine and I avoided looking right into her eyes for just a moment, gathering my composure before I connected with her again. "Nothing to be worried about, so what's up?"

"I wanted to apologize." Danni admitted, though I was sure she caught my change of subject, but she didn't press.

"For what? Cause I'm pretty sure I deserved it."

"No one deserves to be hit," she laughed.

"Yeah, you haven't seen half the crap I think about, some of that needs a good kick in the ass." I smiled and watched as she grinned just a little, but it faded at the same time mine did. "It's been a rough time, and that's not an excuse for my actions, but yeah, things could have gone a hell of a lot better this week. There's so much I should be apologizing for, and the biggest one is Dean. I didn't mean to drag him into the middle of this, and I certainly didn't want him between us."

"Dean," she started but then stopped, "Dean has and always will be Dean, there isn't anything different about him this week than there was before when we were together. We, you and I, we're just seeing it differently, feeling everything differently. He's just being him."

"Okay, so fine, John then," I started and shook my head. "I didn't give you a chance to speak up, I didn't even let you get in a say before I put the blades on you, stuck you with a power you didn't understand, and basically fudged up everything."

"Ali," she sighed and raised her hand, "stop, will ya. You can kick your own ass later, but right now we have more important things than who's to blame. I get it, I do, but we need to think about what comes next first before we can go back and make up for what we did to get here."

"So, that's it, you're letting me off the hook?" I shook my head and placed my hands on my hips. "You angels and your righteous ways of looking at things."

"Yeah, it sucks, because you know, you demons and your guilt, kicking yourself in the gut."

"Hey, why don't you come to the dark side here, Dan," I gave her a half smile, "I mean, we do have cookies and you know, everyone deserves a cookie." She rolled her eyes at the reference and took a deep breath. "So, what now?"

"Research, we're going to need to figure out where this is all going down, and I have a feeling you might be able to pinpoint that." I nodded and glanced over at the three boys again. I knew one other thing that needed to happen before this went down. The tether between Dean and I had to be broken, I just had to figure out how to do that without hurting him.

With a deep breath, I looked at Danni, at her smile, at the way the light in her eyes began to shine again and I wondered what she and Cas had started to work on, because the black and white way of looking at thing wasn't present in her demeanor or her eyes.


	62. DH God Killers - 29

**Chapter 29**

"This is bull crap, a whole big heaping pile of steaming bull…"

"Oh, quit your bellyaching!" Dean interrupted as I stood in the middle of the field behind the motel, surrounded by a devil's trap once again. I stared at him as he stood up, shook the can of red paint not more than three feet from me and gave me a smartass grin. I walked up to him, stopped just short of the line he was drawing and put my hands on my hips.

"You're enjoying yourself, aren't you?" I questioned, putting back on the persona of the "I don't give a flying…" I watched as he looked me over from head to toe and back before he raised a brow.

"You, stuck in a trap with no way out, no way to poof yourself away to another round of slasher flick?" He questioned as his face stayed unamused. "Yeah, I'm kinda liking where this is going."

"You would." I snapped and moved back to the middle of the circle.

"Hey," he yelled, which had me stopping on a dime as I crossed my arms over my chest, "this is for your own good, you get that right?"

I clenched my jaw, turned and made my way back towards him, but stopped just out of arm's reach. "I get that you want to protect Danni, and Sam, and hell, even Cas, but locking me in a devil's trap to try and draw out the spawn of hell himself, yeah, not the most intelligent plan I've ever heard."

"You just have to pinpoint him, Ali, the trap is to keep you safe." Dean whispered, his voice becoming low and even.

"So says you," I could feel the pull of the tether, the way his blood raced through him and the need to touch him was almost too much. I watched his hand come up, his finger reaching out but he closed his eyes, held his arm there, halfway between us before he clenched it into a fist and dropped it to his side. "I told you we need to break the tether first, because it's only going to get stronger, Dean."

"I can handle it," he looked up at me, his green eyes blazing with emotions as I gave him a sly grin and a little shake of my head.

"Yeah, I can see that," I said softly before I turned away from him again, but I glanced over my shoulder at the way his brow creased before I stepped forwards. "You're handling it just fine, about as well as I'm handling mine."

Sam stepped into the circle, glancing between the two of us as he moved to the small stand in the middle of it. Dean went back to closing the line and I moved to where Sam stood, pulling the shawl that I had wrapped myself in tighter around me. The younger of the two unrolled the map as I stood across from him before I heard him sigh.

"Spit it out, Sam." I encouraged and he put his hands flat on the paper, not only holding the map down but also so that he could lean in at my level.

"The two of you shouldn't fight it, that's what the tether is there for, to keep you grounded." He stated, but the emotions that seemed to swirl in his eyes made me shake my head. "If you and Dean can't break it, then you should run with it, not try to keep apart, that's only going to make it worse."

"So, you're telling me to touch your brother?"

"I never had an issue with it before, Ali, why would I now?" He confessed and I looked up at the sky. "Look, you and I, we're good. Dean and I, same as we have ever been, so I don't know why the two of you are suddenly playing opposites."

"Because we are opposite, Sam," the edge in my voice just seemed to be that of annoyance and I let out a long breath before uncrossing my arms. I reached down with both hands and placed them over his. "I'm sorry, I'm just on edge, like I can feel the power creeping up again. I know it's like a freaking broken record lately, but bad idea much?"

"This circle is warded, the sigils will keep anything out that isn't supposed to be in here. It will keep you safe, Ali," Sam captured my fingers with his hands and brought them to his lips, "I promise."

"No," I licked my lips, "you can't promise me that because this spell came from Asmodeus. You don't really know what it can and can't do, because it's five-hundred years old." I looked at our joined hand and smiled. "What you can promise is that if this goes south, you need to get Danni out of here."

"Stop," he closed his eyes and shook his head, "we're not doing that again, not this time." When he looked at me again, I watched the walls go up in his eyes. "The last time you made me do that, I left you for over a month and came back to you hunting. I already told you, I'm not leaving you again. Danni has Dean, she has herself. She doesn't need me to protect her, and I swear to God, Ali, if you tell me that I need to leave for Dean, I…"

"You'll what, trap me in a devil's trap? Tie me up and take me to your bunker dungeon?" I smiled and watched as his eyes lightened. "Yeah, that thought's gone through my head before, but here's the thing, if it's you tying me up, I might like it… a lot."

"Okay," Sam said as he cleared his throat, and I knew I had gotten to him because he stood up straight, trying to not be so near the fire. "Just do the spell, Ali, find the location, and let me get you out of here."

"Whatever you say, hot stuff." I smiled and apparently that broke him.

He rounded the table, done with being serious and keeping his distance and suddenly his arms were around me, his mouth demanding against mine and I pressed against him, all of me until I could snake my hand unseen between us, rubbing along the inside seam of his jeans, along his length and he growled against my lips.

Breathlessly, he released me, held me for just a second before he glanced behind me, at Dean no doubt and then let his eyes flicker down towards mine.

"Be careful," he whispered his orders before he released me and stepped outside the line.

I stepped up to the table, let the shawl drop behind me and took a deep breath as I raised my hands and spread them wide not six inches above the map.

"Secreta ostenderes mihi quid habes; ostende mihi ubi in aciem procedit." I whispered and looked up at Sam, not sure that the spell should be that simple, you know: show me what secrets you hold, show me where the battle unfolds. What kind of immortal being comes up with something as simple as this and then decides to put it in Latin? But my thoughts were soon interrupted, as I continued the chant, when I started to feel the burning in my gut.

The pull was more than I could have handled alone, but it kept my body from actually leaving the circle. I felt my eyes roll back in my head, I saw my body standing below me. My head was back, my eyes pure white and Dean had grasped Sam's arm, the younger Winchester pulling a Mom move on his older brother to keep him from entering the circle. Danni stood beside Dean, her hand on his arm as Cas stood just on the other side of Sam, looking up at me.

I didn't remember what happened next to bring me to the strange warehouse, the one that I had been at before, or at least, that I had seen before. From above it was three large buildings and in the middle of it were the storage crates. Yeah, I remembered this place. I remember Zane coming to me in the diner, telling me that he had felt my presence while I was looking for him. And then I remembered the nose bleeds.

I watched the red drop fall from me, though an astral projection shouldn't be able to bleed. I waited for it to hit the ground, but it shifted, like the wind had caught it, like a raindrop in a storm and suddenly I was being pulled along for the ride.

I was standing on solid ground the next moment, my feet making absolutely no noise as I stood there and took in everything about it. It smelled like vegetables, refrigeration units, and some sort of soil, but not the organic heifer produced kind. I sighed, but even my breath was silent as I moved through the halls of whatever building I had landed in.

Memorizing the way things were stored, the best way through the maze, I found myself now standing in the middle of a large open space. Something in the building was calling to me, vibrating on a level that only I could feel and I watched as the corner of the room went dark. My heartbeat quickened as I found myself locked in that one spot, watching the lights flicker around me before I suddenly found myself face to face with the man I had seen stabbed with an angel blade.

He sneered at me, his teeth sharp and deadly and I was quickly reminded of the clown from "IT". I wanted to scream but I didn't as his hand reached out and captured me by the throat. With one intake of breath, just a single second of air, I whispered: take me home, in Latin.

Instantly, I needed to remember how to breath, the feeling of his hand still on my neck as I came back to my own body and my knees gave out. Blood coated the table where the map lay, covered the front of my shirt and I felt hands clutching me from behind as Sam lifted me onto his lap while I struggled to get the air that I needed.

"Easy, baby," Sam whispered, and I cringed and reached out to grasp his shirt. He laughed as I did so blindly, since the haze of the spell hadn't quite worn off enough for me to see past the glow. I touched his face, feeling the stubble beneath my fingers and finally, I was able to get the control I needed. "Breathe, Ali, just breathe."

"I know…" I said softly, swallowing back the feeling of being choked yet again, and his arms tightened around me, "I know where he is, or where he will be."

"We'll talk about it later, Kid," Dean spoke up, and I tried to focus on him, "let's get you settled first."

"There's no time," I sighed and tucked myself down into Sam. "Tomorrow is coming, and the angel blade didn't even stop him. It just pissed him off."

"I didn't think it was going to," this was Dean admitting to being the one that saved my ass. I didn't ask, I didn't want to know, but he was there, and I had hope he wasn't because it means he didn't listen, he didn't care what I did, I was never going to be evil to him. "I only used it to get you out. It got the job done."

"Hey," Danni whispered, and I felt her fingers on my cheek, "your nose is still bleeding."

"I can't feel it," I answered and listened to her laugh just a little but I never released Sam to wipe it away. "I can't feel anything."

At least, that second anyway because the next I was stiff with pain. Every muscle in my body tightened and I found myself almost as solid as a board. I felt Sam place me on the grass, the pain of the cramps ran through every fiber of my being as I felt my teeth clench shut.

Danni's hands came up to my face as my eyes rolled back in my head, and suddenly I felt a rush of warmth, the bright light of her magic seemed to fill every sense and the pain began to ease. It wasn't totally gone when the glow faded, but it was enough that I could try and loosen muscles on my own. Sam's hand began to unclench my fingers, Dean slowly began to bend my legs as Danni gently rolled my head, turning it from one side to the other as her fingers messaged my jaw.

"Ali?" She whispered.

"I hate that little pissant!" I growled through the clenched teeth and I almost heard Dean laugh.

"Can you move anything on your own?" She whispered and I tapped my hand against her leg, slowly bending my fingers as I flipped her off and her hand came down squarely on my stomach, "Funny, douche."

"You asked," I replied and bent my arm at the elbow, letting the feeling flow. "Can someone get me off this ground, it's freaking cold!"

"It's the middle of June, ya big baby!" Danni laughed and that was when I noticed it. The way she laughed, the strange change in her behavior, the curve in mine. I didn't feel as dark, she felt so much lighter, and that was when I knew.

"Balance," I whispered, stopping all of the movements I was making, as I just lay there. "One light, one dark, it's all about balance."

"What are you going on about?" Dean questioned.

I reached up my arms, hoping someone was going to grab them because I was still having a bit of trouble seeing. I felt Sam on one side, Dean on the other and when I was finally standing, when I could really get my bearings, I blinked before feeling Castiel's hands on my face. I felt him tip my face up towards him, but all I saw was his light, his real form and I smiled.

"Close your eyes," his voice was more of a smile as I did what he told me to and then I felt his palm rest over the bridge of my nose, his thumb pressed against my forehead as his fingers seemed to create an arch over my eyes. I felt the heat from his hands, the light glow of his grace and slowly, I could almost feel the way the fog lifted even with them closed. When he finally took his hand away, I slowly opened them, blinked a few times and looked in all different directions before staring at him. His blue eyes seemed to glow brighter the more I stared. "What do you see?"

"Your grace is showing," I whispered and watched him give me a small smile before his eyes narrowed and the glow faded. When I could see him clearly, I reached out and touched his cheek with my fingers, just to let him see that I was completely in control of my sight.

"Okay, Kid," Dean growled and scrapped the line in the grass with his foot, breaking the circle. "Let's get you inside."

Sam took my hand and lead me past the table, but that was when I noticed the pattern in the blood and I looked up at Dean, who was walking behind me. He stopped, stepped back to the table and grabbed the paper as Cas and Danni started to clean up the ingredients for the spell work. Once Sam and I were safely in our room, Dean would go back and help remove the trap from the grass as if it never happened, at least that was the plan.

Sam sat me down on the bed, ran into the bathroom and grabbed a facecloth, one that he wet with warm water before he came back. Dean was standing at the table spreading the blood-soaked map out over the wood as Sam knelt down with the cloth in one hand and a tee-shirt in the other. I watched Dean glance back as Sam pulled at the shirt I was wearing and I let him remove it, and replace it with the clean one before he started to wipe the blood from my face.

Dean cleared his throat, turning back to the map and I looked between them.

"What's going on?" I placed a hand on Sam's stopping the way the cloth stroked my cheek and stared him down in the eyes. "Sam, what is it?"

"We know about your deal with Cas," he whispered and my eyes shot up to Dean, who turned and leaned on the table.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it wasn't a secret that he and I had an agreement, so what?"

"We know what you made Cas promise to do," Dean added just to specify.

"So, what's the game?" I shrugged, because, yeah if they were lying, they weren't getting it out of me by way of total freak out. "So, this is what? An intervention?"

"Ali," Dean rubbed his eyes, then crossed his arms as he looked up at me, "what you're asking him to do, it's not just you that it affects."

"Well, duh!" I snapped and sat back away from Sam's hand, "anything I do will affect everyone I touch, Dean, that still doesn't tell me that you actually know." I raised my hand. "Look, not that it matters because it's just a fallback plan, just in case the first two or three fail." I lied, but then again, I wasn't sure if he knew about that either, because I didn't really have one that would even really be a plan A, except for Dean just ending me. "What would you like me to do, take it back?"

"Look, Ali," Sam whispered, his hand on my thighs, this took my eyes from the older Winchester and let them rest on the man in front of me. "Cas loves you, he loves all of us, and there isn't anything that you can ask of him that he won't do for you, but this is just a little too much, don't you think? You're putting a big burden on him."

"You think so?" I whispered and decided, yeah, I'm going to play along with this because I had a sneaking suspicion that they didn't have a clue and they were fishing for details. "Taking the blades far away, I didn't think that was a big deal. Maybe yeah, if he disappeared with them before we ended Zane, that I'd get, but putting them somewhere no one would ever find them, I didn't get that as a burden."

That's when I saw it, the way that Sam looked up at Dean, that non-verbal communication that told me they really didn't have a clue as to what the hell was going on between me and Cas. I rubbed my forehead, trying to battle back a headache and then shot a glance between the two of them, before I swiped the cloth from Sam and slipped past him.

Using the mirror in the room, I wiped the blood from my face, watched the two of them keep a close eye on me, as Sam switched to sitting on the bed, and then I turned to face them. I scanned over Sam's face, the way he looked at me as if he were waiting for something but I wasn't about to give. I turned to Dean, who had that same look of sizing me up and I raised a brow.

"So, what now?"

"What now is we figure out how to get you and Danni out of this mess," Sam replied and I shrugged.

"We've been doing that from the beginning, Sam, looking for an exit," I shook my head, "what if there isn't one this time, what if there isn't a loophole, I mean sometimes things are just what they are."

"That way of thinking is going to get you killed." Dean growled and grabbed the map off the table, which only got me to look up quickly as he made his way over, laying it on the bed next to Sam. "According to this, we know where he's going to be, where this is all going to go down. I say we set a trap and take care of the bastard."

"Go in, guns blazing and have at it?" I smiled and came closer to the map. Strangely enough, the way it had fallen, or gushed, or however it had gotten onto the table, it had all rolled around, creating a circle that only left the Whole Foods buildings open and the rest of it covered in blood.

"You said something about balance while we were outside," Sam whispered, reaching out to take my hand. "What about it?"

"Oh," I sighed and took my eyes from the map before looking at him, "I'm a not really sure, everything is still kind of hazy from that crap," I grumbled and sat down on the bed. "Are Cas and Danni okay outside?"

"Right," Dean grumbled, still looking me over as if he didn't believe me for a second but he turned to the door. "I'll go check on them," he pointed at me and my gaze rose to meet his, "stay put, Traveler, we have other stuff to figure out."

"I don't plan on going anywhere, Dean," but I couldn't help but see the uncertainty in his eyes. Not sure if it was from not believing me or hoping that I was there when he got back. He slipped out the door, closing it tightly. When he did, I snatched the bloody map from the bed and set it roughly on the table before turning back to Sam. "We're so screwed!"

Sam was up and had me wrapped in his arms before I could breathe another word, and I let my arms come up around his waist, gripping the back of his shirt as I pressed my head against him, taking in the beat of his heart.

They were outside, the door was open and I was sitting with my feet up on the table, listening to them talk, and by them I meant Sam and Dean. Cas was going over a few more thing with Danni, but the boys were right outside the door and I had John's journal on my lap. They weren't really arguing, but I knew the topic of conversation, me, and I wished it was something different, but it was just as distracting as everything else. It made it so I couldn't concentrate on anything that John had written.

With a huff, I closed the book, but as I did, my hand came down along the back cover of the leather-bound material and I felt just the small raised corner of something. When I opened it back up, there was nothing odd about the inside, nothing that would point out abnormalities in the binding, but I reached over, my eyes on the boys outside the window and snatched Sam's pocketknife from his bag.

Gently guiding the tip along the bottom seam, separating the paper backing from the leather, I opened it wide enough so that I could see the thin, folded piece of paper inside. I bent the back, giving the opening a little more room to accommodate my finger as I slid the paper out and placed the journal down in my lap, still hiding it from the ones who were ranting on.

With the knife folded on the table, I opened the yellowed paper slowly and watched as John's handwriting seemed to race across the parchment. The edges told me it was ripped from Asmodeus' Book of Shadows, the one Sam was reading but as I flipped it I could see not only John's writing but the demon's as well. On the back was a spell, one that made me shiver but it was the handwriting on the front that got my attention faster, especially with my name on it.

 _Alison,_

 _It won't be long now, I can feel the time approaching. I'm sorry for the things that we have to ask you to do. I know what its plan is, I know it involves you and Danni and I'm sorry. I really am. I'm so tired that I can't fight him anymore. Everything that I know is written down now, we're just waiting for it to come._

 _But, there is one more thing you need to know before I go. I know what you're thinking of doing, and if you are anything like who I've seen you become , (yes, I've seen you recently,) you need to think hard on your decision. I've seen the love you have for Sam, I've seen his walls break down and he has let you in, that is something I had never thought I would see from him. To let another person behind his walls, someone other than Dean, that is amazing, but he can't do it._

 _You do realize that, don't you? Sam will never be the one that can end this, not for you anyway. He loves you too much. He feels everything too much, and I know what you're thinking of doing, what avenue your thoughts have gone too, it will have to be Dean this time._

 _Do you understand, Ali, that it will have to be Dean?_

 _On the back is a spell, specific for those who wield the blades. If you haven't guessed by now, they can't harm you, at least not your own. With the mark comes that burden. No matter if you hold Danni's or yours, the blades won't cut you, but with the spell on the back of this paper, it will render that powerless, they will be just like angel blades. You won't come back from this, Ali, so if you use it, use it wisely. Know what you need to do first and then… then pray that angel is fast enough._

 _Sam can't lose someone else. He's lost too many already, and Dean… Dean can't lose Sam._

 _John._

Okay, well, that sucked! I turned the paper over and read what I could of the spell. My eyes widened and I couldn't help but think of Sam as I looked out the window, folded the paper quickly and put it away.

My lips trembled as I rose from the seat. I knew what I had to do, and I had to do it fast. This wasn't good, not good at all.

I stepped outside, reached out and grabbed Sam's arm. He turned quickly and looked down at me, but I didn't have to say a word as my hand moved down from his arm to his fingers and I gave him a little tug towards the room. Dean gave him a little smirk as Sam threw a glance at his brother, before letting me lead him, but it was Dean's gaze that had me as he tilted his head just a little and winked.

I needed to break that tether, but I needed Sam more as I closed the door and pulled the curtain closed.

I needed him so much more than he realized as I felt his hands on my waist, and his lips against mine. I needed him wild, and uninhibited, and just out of control. And I got what I wanted, and more, because for just that moment, he didn't hold back. He gave me everything and anything I asked of him, without conditions, and when we were both spent and sated, when he curled against me on the bed as I stared up at the ceiling, I knew what the next step was and more than anything, I dreaded it.

Slowly slipping from Sam's hold, I got dressed, watching him every moment I did, and my next move was intentional, I left the blade where it lay in the sheath on the counter. I didn't need the God Killer, I just needed to get this done. With a deep breath, and one more glance at the sleeping man, I turned and walked out the door into the night.


	63. DH God Killers - 30

Chapter 30

John's letter had put me in a bad mood, the feeling of Dean constantly nearby was making my skin sensitive to every little touch, including Sam's and even with all of the energy that Danni and Cas had given me earlier, just one little touch from Zane had sent me spiraling back down that black road. I was annoyed, irritated, angry and any other 'a' word you could possibly come up with but I wanted to get out, alone, without the carnage. It was a good idea, but I knew it wouldn't last, not for long anyway, but I had to chance it.

I was perfectly content sitting at the bar by myself, the three empty shot glasses on the counter, one more beside them full of the whiskey and the one in my hand that I was just about to bring to my lips were doing a great job keeping me company. Sam was back at the room, completely sated and left in that little bit of restful post-sex sleep that I always seemed to manage to put him in, and that made me smile, but it also made me long for him again.

Now, don't get me wrong, I would have loved to be lying there just admiring him, but as it was, my body needed to move more and waking him up for another rough round was something that I couldn't do. I might have been damned but I didn't need to take him with me, and what I wanted him to do was just dark enough that he might slip over.

So here I was, at some little dive bar just outside of Winchester, which by the way, do you know how easy it is to get away with hotwiring a car around here, but I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah, me and the shots in front of me having a good time, at least that was until the door opened and immediately not only could I feel him, hear the way his blood rushed through his veins, but I could smell his scent from where I sat.

Dean had become so ingrained in me that I could pick him out of a crowd of people. I knew his cologne like my own detergent, and man, as much as he smelled like heaven, and his brother was hotter than sin, there was still no way that I was going to touch him, at least in any way that would hurt Danni, but the following me around crap really had to stop.

I sighed loudly as he took the stool beside me, raised a finger and an eyebrow at the bartender and put his lower arms on the counter as he popped open a peanut shell beside me. That one shot, the one that hadn't quite made it to my mouth before, was now burning its way down my throat. I breathed in, trying to let the burn settle as it always does, in the heat between my legs, and I gave myself a little smile.

"You shouldn't have followed me," I whispered and watched as he smiled up at the woman behind the beer and brought his beer to his lips just out of the corner of my eyes. Of course, I knew he was going to follow, that was the main reason for stopping where I did. He couldn't seem to help it. "I told you to stay away from me."

"Yeah, well, you know we can't have some psycho running around with some magical blade alone, now can we?" he stated dryly and I smiled.

"You say psycho like it's a bad thing, Dean," I answered and watched him turn towards me when I picked up the fifth shot.

"Do you even realize what you've started to become?" This made me turn to him and I set the glass down on the table before placing my hand flat on the bar. I scanned over his face, hoping to see the anger there but he was filled with a different emotion, darker but still there.

"Something dark, something evil, something that you and Sam hunt?" I whispered, but licked my lips as he stared me down with those hard, green eyes. "Yeah, I'm very glad you're starting to see it for what it is, and I've been telling you from the very beginning. I wasn't innocent when this started, and I'm not going to be when it ends."

Dean shook his head, raised the beer up to take a sip and I placed my fingers over his, on the ones that head the long neck bottle. Under my breath I whispered, temere sequi me, not loud enough for him to hear it, but for him to feel the breath that left me, against his face as I slid from the stool and moved away from the counter.

I heard him sigh, knew that the Latin, "blindly follow me" had worked and listened as he placed the bills on the counter and mirrored my movements out towards the parking lot. I stopped at the small Focus that I had jacked from near the hotel and turned to him, unlocking the passenger's side door as he stopped and looked around.

"You could have stayed there and finished the beer," I stated and watched as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"Again, psycho with a magic blade," he answered and watched as I popped open the door, gesturing for him to get in, but I saw his eyes come to rest on the Impala that was parked only a few spots down. How come I didn't have the heart to tell him I had left it behind.

"Well, this psycho is moving on to the next one, so either you're coming or staying but I wouldn't plan on following because I had someone let the air out of her back tire." I replied quickly as I moved over to the driver's seat, opened the door and again whispered: temere sequi me. Dean rolled his eyes, came closer and slipped into the seat beside me as we both closed the door. "So, this is probably the most you've said to me since… well. Why now?"

"You left Sammy in bed," he answered and turned in the seat to look at me. "Most of the time you won't leave him alone in the room for more than five minutes, unless you're popping out to slice and dice, so why are you sneaking out to the bar?"

"I left Sam in bed because the boy needs sleep, I went to a bar because I needed a drink." I answered and pulled out into the road. Dean didn't take his eyes off of me, and in a way it was kind of exciting, but I don't think he really was grasping the reason why he was in the car in the first place. "Besides, sneaking off would imply that I was doing it quietly. You haven't stopped tailing me or watching me in any way, shape, or form since the incident, definitely not since the tether, so there for, sneaking isn't involved. I walked right out that door knowing you were watching me, Dean, you're always watching me."

"You need to be locked up until the whole thing blows over, Ali," he sighed and stared out the window, "you're dangerous, you know that right, I mean, you get that?"

It took me this long to realize we never talked about what happened when I kissed him, never once brought it up that he had seen me at my darkest point, but that in itself helped with everything I needed to accomplish.

If John was right, Dean was the only one that could help me, and the issue of it was that no matter what I had done up to that point, he still saw me as the damaged one, he still swore that nothing would come between us, including needing to pull the trigger.

The kiss was just the twist I needed, it was just what I was looking for because even if he had put on a show for his brother, I could see the wheels turning below the surface. Dean wasn't going to let me go that easy, and it was the reason for what came next.

"Yeah," I sighed, but the smile never left my face, "I totally get it."

"So, we need to go back to the bunker, put you in the basement, keep you where you're safe."

I laughed at him. "In your sex torture dungeon?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "it's not a sex torture dungeon, Al, and I'm being serious."

"You go ahead and be serious, I'm just gonna sit here and think my dirty little thoughts." I couldn't wipe the grin from my face and while that probably annoyed him more than anything, it wasn't because I was thinking about sex or anything to do with the bunker, I was smiling because he had no clue. "Dormies super mortuo."

I watched his eyes close as he sunk back in the seat and shook my head. How was this way too easy? How was it that I was getting him right where I wanted him and there wasn't anything coming at me to stop me from doing it? Where was Danni?

Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't want to hurt him, in fact far from it, but Dean and I really needed to sit down and hash this out and there was no way that it was going to happen with a protective older sister and a pigheaded younger brother in the room. Nope we needed Ali and Dean time, and that was just what I was planning on getting.

It smelled like produce and refrigeration and that nasty odor of soil and man did I hate that smell.

I was sitting on a small bench when he opened his eyes, picking his head up from the way it hung down with his chin against his chest. I was always curious to see what he did in a situation like this. I mean I had my theories, you know the typical jump around, tug at the ropes, try to get free theories, but this was Dean Freaking Winchester that I was staring at, with his hands zip-tied behind his back, and with him, you never know what you're going to get.

He groaned a little, probably just the after effects of the spell, not that it was a harsh one but he might have a headache. Those green eyes scanned the room, his arms tightened against the restraints but as his gaze rested on me, when I sat up and crossed my arms, I could see the anger in them. No bouncing, no tugging, just a calm, angry bitch face that was Dean Winchester.

Well, crap, that was disappointing.

"What are you doing, Ali," he whispered, and I found myself biting down on my lip. Damn, I could see why Danni was so sexually attracted to this man, I mean, wow, especially all tied up, but I took in a deep breath and remembered that he belonged to my sister.

"We need to talk," I said softly, standing up from the stool as he gave little movements of his muscles, telling me that I didn't have very long before he escaped those bonds. "And since you are such a typical Winchester, I thought this might be the best way to do it."

"To tie me up?" He kind of posed it as a question, which kind of got just a shrug as an answer.

"It's safer this way, besides, while you're trying to get out of the ties, I'll have your undivided attention." I replied and watched as his arms stopped moving. Yeah, that was one of those "crap" moments, when he knew that I was being just as observant as always.

"So, talk," he spoke softly, carefully as if I might hurt him and that in itself pissed me right off.

"First off, stow the big-bad-wolf crap, I'm not going to lay a finger on you," I sighed. "Secondly, I don't get why the hell you are so hell bent on the fact that you think I would hurt you to begin with. I love you, and I would never do anything like that."

"Okay, so you'll have to excuse me if I take your "I love you" and counter with a "you're full of it" remark because this," he jiggled in the seat, still secure, "isn't anyway to show someone you care about that you would never hurt them."

"Oh, hey, you got this all wrong there, pal," I laughed and tucked my hands in my pockets as I came closer, "you being tied up is for my protection, not for me to hurt you."

"Yeah, okay, let's go with that," he quipped and I rolled my eyes. "You wanna talk, so talk."

And suddenly, I wasn't as prepared for Dean Winchester as I thought I was, or the feelings that came out when I started to open my mouth.

"You hate me," I whispered and watched his lips grow taunt, a sure sign that I was right, but that seemed to fuel the need to talk about it. "You hate me because of what I did to your dad," his eyes flashed up at me and I saw the anger in them. "You hated me before when this whole thing started because I fell for Sam, I fell for the one person that you needed to protect."

"I don't hate you for Sam," he replied and shook his head.

"No, you hated the fact that you suddenly had someone else to protect and not just from the damned vampires." But, I caught that he didn't say anything in response to John.

I stepped closer, smiled and straddled his lap, before casually sitting down, fitting myself into the grove that his hips and thighs made as he sat there, and I put my hands down squarely on his shoulders. I could feel him shift uncomfortably beneath me but it sent such a shock of heat through me that I had to catch my breath to ignore it.

The demon inside fought for control as the power flashed before my eyes, and I had to blink back the red glow that started to rise as Dean's eyes landed on mine when I licked my lip, just my bottom one, and looked down at his. She was dying to come out, dying to know that kiss again and I just wanted to punch her because seriously, that was a one-time deal.

"I know you hate it," I moved my right hand closer to his neck, rubbing my fingers along the curve of his shoulder to the line of his jaw as I leaned in closer, "you hate the feeling of knowing what your brother is capable of doing, of what he's done in the past, of how rough he can be. You hate the fact that you need to keep an eye out to make sure he doesn't do anything to hurt me," I watched his eyes fill with the acknowledgement that I knew Sam's past, I knew the anger that the boy held, the violence he was capable of and this made me smile as my other hand ran from his shoulder down his chest, around his waist to the back of his jeans, just as I pressed my cheek against his face. "You don't have to worry about it Dean, you don't have to hate me for it, or need to protect me from it," I sighed, letting my breath sing across his skin, blow in his ear and I heard the low moan from him. The whole position was hotter than hell but he wasn't the Winchester I wanted, "you don't have to protect me, because I like it."

My tongue flicked out and lightly touched his earlobe, an action that had him suddenly moving his head, trying to break the contact, but I already had what I wanted. I sat back, holding the grip of the gun in my hand as I held it up for him to see the beautiful custom work on it before I slid back from his lap, leaving him just a little more uncomfortable than when we began. Not my intention but definitely something that worked in my favor, since he was now utterly distracted.

"I'm just going to put her over here," I whispered, keeping my eyes on Dean and my finger way away from the trigger as I set his Colt down on the stool. "So, where was I…oh yeah, Sam. You can deny it all you want there Deanie, but I know, you've always felt a little bit of well, maybe hatred isn't the best word for it, maybe it was jealously."

"Ali," his voice was full of warning and I knew that I was getting in there somewhere. "This isn't you talking, come on, just let this go."

"Let it go?" I shook my head and took a deep breath, oh how I wish I could, but something in me just kept going. Maybe the demon inside was right, maybe I was like Jekyll and Hyde, and the need to feel him, the need to touch was more than I was letting myself acknowledge. Then again, maybe she was a bitch and I was just using this line to get him where I wanted. Ugh, I was definitely going to have to do some inner monologing with her when this was done. "Let go everything I've felt for the last two months since the moment you put a hand on me, let go of all of the feelings that you stir up in me, the crazy need for you. Ah, Dean, as much as I hate needing someone, and thinking I really wish I could, I just can't."

"Why me?" Finally, to the question I had wanted him to ask, to the one thing I wanted him to know. His eyes were locked on me, trying to distract me and I knew my time was running out, I knew those bonds were almost gone and I stood there with my hands in my pockets again. "Why are you telling me this and not Sam."

"Because Sam doesn't hate me," I laughed, "Sam loves me, darkness and all and you know what, as much as I am so totally in love with him, there is one thing that he will never be able to do if it comes right down to it because of that love."

"And what's that?" Dean growled.

He knew what I was getting at but still it irritated me to no end and I snatched up the gun, brought it over. I leaned down, one hand on the chair behind his shoulder as I stood between his legs and stared into his eyes, inches from his face. The smile disappeared from mine, the fear started to build in me as I felt the flicker of power and I swallowed back the feeling of retreat. I wanted to run away, I didn't want to do this suddenly, but that lasted only a very short amount of time, because I kissed him softly on the forehead before moving back to his gaze.

"You take this gun," I whispered, and felt him let out a breath, one that warmed my skin, "and you put a bullet in my head!" I snapped, low and dangerous, and watched the anger fill his eyes. With that anger, the smile ran across my lips, and I couldn't help but raise a brow at it. "And, now you have one more thing to hate me for."

"Ali," he whispered, his eyes trained on me as I heard the zip-tie give way. "I don't hate you."

I wanted to step back, wanted to run from him but that need to touch him, that overwhelming need to connect with him in any way I could, drowned out the feeling of flight and I moved my hand from the back of his chair, caressing my fingers down his cheek as I felt him take a deep breath in.

"Why not?" I questioned, and felt the tear that slid down my face. He leaned into my touch, the way he always did, and my heart broke. "With everything I've done, all the darkness, and the destruction, Dean, why not?"

I had to release him, had to step back and as my foot left the floor, as I moved away, I realized that I couldn't. He was standing before I could blink, his hands were loose and coming at me, and instantly I was in fight mode. I blocked his touch, taking a step back as he snatched the gun from my hand. I didn't need to see where he stowed it, I just needed to know he wasn't holding it, before he came at me again. This time I was going to defend myself, I didn't want to run, I didn't want to hide, I wanted to fight, to let it out, to be angry, and he did that for me.

We never exchanged a blow, always blocked the swing or kick or punch from the other, like we had grown to anticipate one another's moves. It went on for what felt like hours, but I'm sure was only minutes, moments in time as we danced close like lovers and far away as if enemies. I had him down, gripping him by the collar of his shirt, but he swept my leg, bringing me to the same level as him as I grasped hold of his shirt.

Dean scowled, not that he was angry, but it was a look of determination, as he reached out and stroked my hair back from my face, a tender moment in our otherwise frantic dance. I pushed at him, knocking him unexpectedly to the floor as he tugged me along with him and balled up my fists to take a swing, but his hand shot up from my hair, grasped my wrist and suddenly I was flipped. Lying on my back with him resting over my hips, but his feet had somehow planted between my legs, keeping them locked below him, no way of getting any leverage, but instinct had me going for the blade, the one tucked in my boot and before I knew it, he had that wrist too.

Pinning my arms above my head with only one of his hands, Dean towered above me as I lay on the cold concrete floor. He stared down into my eyes, ones that I could tell were full of emotions, and he struggled to catch his breath before he reached out with his free hand, fingertips running along the length of my hairline to my neck and I turned away from him.

Just a bit forceful, his fingers cradled my chin bringing me back to look at him and the anger in his eyes as he leaned down, holding me there as he stopped a breath away from not being able to focus in on anything but those eyes. Just a breath away.

"I don't hate you, Ali," he whispered, ghosting his fingers from my chin to rest gently on my throat, "I never did." He blinked away the tears, and I felt my own lips trembling before I sucked back the emotion. "I hated that I couldn't save you from this, from having to be the one to do that. I hated myself because I hated him so much for using my father to make you chose. You didn't really have a choice." I felt his thumb brush over the brand on the pad of my hand above my head and I squirmed beneath him because just his touch sent shocks through it, reminding me of earlier and the feeling of Sam's teeth as he bit down on the same spot. "I wish you would understand…" his voice dropped to a whisper, "I love you."

I stared at him in shock, not because of his feelings, I mean hell I knew he loved me, I loved him too, but the fact that he had used those words out loud, to anyone but Danni should have sent me careening into darkness, because the only course of action after Dean admits to ANYTHING is to pass out, but I didn't. I stared at him, like some dumb deer in the headlights.

"Dean!" Sam's voice rang through the building but the man above me never looked away.

"Ali," he whispered as his hand move and he sat back, "I'll find a way to fix this, I promise." I closed my eyes tightly as the grip on my wrists loosened. "Hey," his authoritative tone had me looking at him once again, "I swear, I will."

Just as I was about to answer him, not that I was sure what to say, either "yes help me" or "no don't bother", it was silenced as Sam and Danni came running through the door. Dean put both hand on his knees as he sat back, not putting any weight on me as he sat on the heels of his boots but Sam gave him a curious look as I lay there, pissed off and staring at the ceiling, while Dean shrugged, zip-ties around both wrists.

I could see Sam's look of irritation from where I stood, my back to the Impala, as the two of them talked over what had just happened. Danni was standing beside me, not looking at the boys, but just staring at me, her eyes filled with concern.

"What the hell, Ali?" She whispered, it only took her about five seconds from the time we stepped out of the building for her to start scolding, not that I minded, I mean she was always the protector, but I took a deep breath and turned towards her, my arms crossed. "What were you thinking?"

"So, Dean and I have an unusual way of communicating," I shrugged, "it works for us."

"This is the second time that one of you have been tied up with the other in the room, is it going to become a usual thing?" She snickered and again I shrugged, but this time I smiled.

"I don't know, it's kind of a kink thing," I teased and looked over at the two men.

Sam looked at bit more frazzled the more they talked and I know I wouldn't like the outcome of it later, but with what I could hear, Dean never mentioned the last thing I asked him to do, the very reason he would actually grow to hate me, because John had asked him to do just that before. I had told him once that he wasn't the only one that knew what it felt like to have to take care of someone when they were like that, or make a promise to take care of yourself should you go that route.

I looked around, growing edgier by the moment as we stood in the parking lot of the whole foods store, and I could feel the power growing. I tapped my foot, cleared my throat and finally got their attention. I could leave the car that Dean and I took over, it was hotwired after all but also clean of anything that could trace it to me or him, so when Sam finally glanced over, I gestured to the car behind me and he gave me a slight nod.

Looking at Danni, I gave her a slight grin, opened the back door and slid in all the way to the other side watching her follow suit. Once the door closed, she opened her mouth to say something but all I did was raise a finger, not even off the seat where I had placed it. Just the movement had her silenced and we waited.

After a moment, Dean got in the driver's side, sliding behind the wheel and Sam grabbed the handle of the door, giving it a hard yank before he sat down in his spot right in front of me. His hand came down behind the seat, closest to the door, searching for mine and I turned to look at the building, before reaching down to grasp his fingers.

The sound of Baby's rumble made me smile and I couldn't help but look into the green eyes that stared at me through the rearview. I love the sound of that car.

Dean put her in gear and the four of us sat in silence until we were far enough down the road. Sam turned in his seat, letting go of my hand, and scanned my face as I sent out my own feelers. Nothing in the air, nothing close by.

"Okay, we weren't followed," I whispered and watched the three occupants around me breath a collective sigh of relief. Dean pulled the car over, put it in park in some dimly lit rest area and turned in his seat like his brother. He stared me down like I had just taken his favorite toy, and shook his head. "What?"

"What the hell was that?" He growled, but I could almost see the laughter in his eyes. "You were pushing the envelope pretty far there, Kid."

"You didn't like me sitting on your lap?" I teased and watched as his lips puckered like he was actually debating on telling me he didn't.

"You sat on his lap?" Danni grinned and shook her head, yeah the light had definitely returned to this one.

"Okay," Sam sighed, rolling his eyes. "As much as I'm good with the whole need to touch thing, I don't want to hear all the details of her on your lap," he looked at Dean, which made the grin wipe right off the older one's face, "what I want to know is did it work?"

"Did you get the sigils up?" I questioned, placing my hand on Sam's arm as I sat forward.

"Yeah, just like the book said," Sam shrugged, "did you get what you needed down?"

"Yep, while sleeping beauty here was taking a catnap." I grinned and watched Dean shake his head.

"Were the zip-ties really necessary?" Dean questioned.

"I thought you were into that whole kink thing," I winked and pointed a thumb in Danni's direction. "That tie him up thing, that was all her idea."

"Asshole!" Danni said and took a swipe at me, but I practically leaned over the seat onto Sam to get away from her. "Enough goofing around. We have a crap ton of stuff to do before this goes down, so where to next?"

So, the plan worked.

Get Dean into the storage house, get Zane to listen in as we "argued" and let him think we were at odds as all four of us managed to do our own little wards before we left. Danni and Sam had all the hallways to the rooms warded, I had managed to draw one on the floor as I paced around Dean, and when he and I were "fighting" there was a reason why nothing ever connected, because his dance was more of a spell than anything. We created a circle, we cast the corners and we closed it before he even had me pinned to the floor, which sealed it because while his hand held my wrists, he drew the last symbol onto the concrete with the tip of his finger.

Now onto the next and this one might not be as easy as we hope, especially if Crowley's involved.

Way down we go.


	64. DH God Killers - 31

**Chapter 31**

I stood in the middle of the dirt road, close to John's cabin but far enough away so that the dampening spells on it didn't block my signal. I didn't need a box, didn't need a magic bowl, all I needed to do was stand there. And I did, impatiently, tapping the spectrum against my leg as I looked around the four corners of the crossroads.

Just as I had gotten bored enough, and made my way towards the yarrow plants that grew there, I felt him step out of the darkness. Looking up and to my side as I crouched down, taking in the smell of the weed, I smiled and went back to what I was doing as I plucked one from the stem.

Crowley stood with his hands tucked deep and watched me, a little devilish grin on his lips and he said nothing as I stood, walked towards him and put the little plant into the button hold on his lapel. With a pat, I stepped back, or at least tried to but his came up from his pocket and cupped my elbow before I could get away.

"What kind of game are you playing?" He whispered and I only gave him a little smirk. "You called me here, Love, so what can I _do_ for you?"

"Well," I slipped the spectrum into the sheath that lay against my leg and put both hands on his chest. For some reason, I wasn't above touching him and he never seemed to give me any hints on whether or not it bothered him, so I kept the connection there. It also told me if he was reaching out with his powers, because it would have sung through me first. "This is it, right, today is the day, so I need your help."

"You and your counterpart have been doing a fine job on your own, what makes you think you need my help now?" But I could see the concern in his eyes as he scanned over my face, and his hand suddenly came up to brush my hair from my shoulder. "Where are your boys?"

"Close, but they're just waiting for us to finish our business here," I shrugged and sighed. "This really is between you and I, Crowley, not Sam, Dean, or Danni."

"So, what is it that you need, Princess?"

"Power." I said softly.

"You're brimming with it, don't you think you have enough?" He wanted to step back, to create some distance, but his curiosity was just way too high to do that. He was like a cat in devil's clothing. "What could you possibly need with more power?"

"I need you to be here," I handed him a slip of paper, or more like I tucked it into his pocket before he could blink, his eyes never left mine as he felt my hand in his coat, and his fingers brushed my shoulder. "I need you there, Crowley, to end this. I'm done being a puppet in this whole play, and I'm going to finish Zane but here's the thing, you could push this all in our favor, and I'm asking you to be there."

"Anything for my girl," he winked and stepped back, his hand slipping from me and glanced around. I watched as he turned and moved towards the darkness, but before he disappeared, he stopped, turned and looked me over. "By the way, happy birthday."

"Yeah," I whispered, a little confused because besides the hint of it days ago, no one seemed to remember, so how did Crowley know. "Thanks."

He gave me a sly grin and disappeared into the night. I turned, still a bit confused and made my way towards the waiting Impala. Sam paced in front of the car, Dean stood planted in front of the grill as he puffed away on a cigarette and Danni was clicking away on her phone behind the wheel.

Sam stopped as I approached, his hands balled into fist and I smiled as I paused, watched him look down at me with possessive eyes as if he were just visually scanning for anything out of place and when I raised a hand to his chest, his arms were instantly around me.

"So, Crowley?" Dean sighed as he finished what he wanted off the cigarette, snuffed it out on the bottom of the boot and tucked it away. "That's part of your plan, the King of Douchebags?"

"He got us into this mess," I replied as I turned in Sam's arms, letting the feel of him behind me sink in that I was safe while Dean approached and also stared me down. The older one's hand came out and touched my cheek before he glanced up at Sam and let it fall. "We need him to set off the wards if any of you can't. Danni and I will be front and center but that doesn't mean that you two won't be busy with the rest of Zane's mediocre band of merry men."

"What about Cas?" Dean questioned and the three of us turned at the sound of wings, to watch the angel step into the light from the car.

"All of the warding has been set with angel sigils as well," Cas replied and glanced from Dean, to Sam and back at me. "There should only be one angel at the most that can get in there, besides Zane of course, but he's technically not an angel."

"And Danni?" Sam questioned, "she should be able to walk right in too, right?"

"Yes, being what the girls are doesn't change the fact that they are essentially human," Cas answered and we heard the door open, then close as Danni walked over and stood by Dean, cell in hand.

"What is it?" Sam questioned.

"Message from Carol," she shrugged but held the phone to Cas, "for you."

Cas took the phone, a bit confused and read the message quickly before I watched his chest puff up just a little bit and he shook his head.

"I'm going to have to go see her," he whispered, looking right at me as his brow creased with worry, "she has some important information about the items on the list that you had her collect."

"We never did finish that case, did we?" Sam said with a little bit of amusement.

"The killings stopped, the mirror was destroyed," Cas answered and the four of us turned our gazes in his direction. Cas looked as if he had been caught red handed and his lips grew taunt. "After the incident in the tunnels under the estate, I went back to the shop and took the mirror, or what was left of it. I found a spell in Sam's book earlier that day when we were looking for one to help you, Ali, with the voices in your head. It was made to bind the magic of a cursed object and its ashes. So, I took the mirror, performed the spell and set it on fire. I believe you call it a salt and burn."

"What about the other objects on the list?" Danni questioned.

"None of them contained Enochian writing, reverse or otherwise, so I believe the powers were coming directly from the mirror." Cas replied but watched as the phone in his hand lit up again. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. I'll be back shortly, I promise." His promise was directed towards me as I nodded and watched him hand back the phone. "Please, let her know I'm on my way."

"Sure," she whispered, typing it in, but suddenly he was gone. "Which do you think got there faster, the text or Cas?"

"Why is he popping off to her anyway?" Sam whispered, like it was a little puzzle he so needed to solve and I smiled as I tilted my head back and tried to catch those curious eyes.

"Well, you've got me, Dean and Danni, maybe Cas is looking for a love," I grinned and listened to Dean scoff, which made me look at the older one, not sure if it was jealousy or annoyance written on his face. "Hey, you can't keep him yours forever, Winchester, let him spread his wings and find his own little slice of heaven, besides you have Danni."

"Wait," he stopped and thought about what I had just said, "what?" But then he got it and rolled his eyes. "I thought we weren't talking about fanfiction?"

"Who said anything about fanfiction?" I grinned and slipped out of Sam's arms as I made my way past him, brushing my arm against his and he followed me with his eyes before I noticed the smirk on Sam's face. "Projecting much?"

"Bite me, Porter!" Dean growled and I shook my head.

I stopped just this side of the darkness, looking into the field where we parked, with my back to the others. They could see me but I didn't want to look at them, I didn't want them to see the worry that filled me, because as much as we were preparing for this showdown, there were still things that I needed to do beforehand. It wasn't long before I was no longer alone and I felt the man tied to me, step up from behind.

"Hey?" Dean's voice was low, close and I drew in a deep breath, "you okay?"

"Yeah," I replied, steadied my nerves and turned to him. "Just kinda doing a mental checklist of all the stuff that needs to happen before this goes south. So, if you don't mind, I need to get back to the hotel room."

"Sammy isn't on that list, you know that right?" He winked and I couldn't help the smile, but when I went to walk by, I placed a hand on his chest, got up on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.

"Neither are you," I whispered, teasingly, just to see if I could get a reaction from him, "but you tied to a chair, I could make that happen."

"Pervert!" He growled, and that made my grin widen as his hand came up to my waist, holding me for just as second as he kissed the side of my head before he released me and let me go on my way.

I stared at the small pebble in my hand, before glancing at the paper in front of me and I looked down at the blade that sat on my lap. I'm pretty sure by now that Dean noticed the absence of his demon blade, but he hadn't come looking, which in itself was odd, but maybe he knew, maybe he could feel it through our connection.

With a sigh, I pulled the paper down from the table and bit my lips. Was I really doing this? I felt the tears well up, let one fall before I sniffled back everything and read the lines on the paper.

"Immolandum anima mea," I whispered, let the stone in my hand grow warm and I closed my fingers around it, "eripe animam meam sacrificare."

It grew hot within my hand and I had to drop it on the table. I watched this little pebble grow bright red with color and I shook my head. How was such a little thing going to be able to save my soul, and my life, but I picked it up, no bigger than the head of a pin and looked it over. A crossroads stone, that's what it had called for so when I picked the yarrow for Crowley, I had also pocketed this little gem.

So, now came the harder part, I mean besides letting your energy, your power flow into a stone, there was always something more dramatic that had to happen. Thank God that Dean was hungry, double thank God, that Dean just couldn't take being that far away, so he sent Sam. And yeah, we still had to break that tether.

When the color died down, when it stopped glowing, I picked up the demon blade and held it gently in my hand, hoping not to cut myself any deeper than needed. Gripping it like a pen with my left hand, something that was already awkward and clumsy, I pressed the tip against the completely visible tattoo that graced the meat of my hand, just below my thumb. With a towel on my lap, I clenched my teeth as hard as I could as I stabbed the tip down into my flesh.

Angel blades when they cut are like heat and cold and pain all rolled into one, the tip of the demon blade was something altogether different. It was pure pain, fire and as you can imagine, hell, unadulterated hell wrapped into one little pin prick, but as it dug deeper, as I pushed it deeper and slid it down across the mark, I fought to breathe, until I was able to take the metal from my skin.

Swallowing back the need to vomit, I dabbed at the blood that streamed from the wound, curious that it wasn't healing but knowing ahead of time that it probably wouldn't, which is why the God Killer blade sat on the table as well.

With a shaky hand, sweating as I breathed through the still growing, searing pain that ran through every muscle in my arm, I picked up the pebble and brought it to the open wound. With a deep breath, as deep as I could get with my lungs fighting me, I pressed the little objected down into the groove and further still with the tip of a Q-tip, just until I felt it lodge at the base of the slice, so that it was deep in my muscle, and my thumb twitched.

I dropped the white little stick, grabbed the towel and pressed down on the wound, giving myself a breather before continuing on. I could feel the heat from the stone as it worked its way into the fibers of my muscles. According to the spell, it was supposed to become part of you and I rolled my eyes at the discomfort.

My breath shook as it came out, as if I were cold, but when I took the towel away from my hand, I watched the blood flow from it, and quickly grabbed the magical one that set just at fingertip reach on the table. This was supposed to be the easy part, closing it with the blade, but I remembered the feeling every time I used it to shut a wound and for a moment, it made me want to reconsider.

Taking a deep breath, I dropped the cloth on my knee, grabbed the blade with my left hand and squeezed my fingers around the handle, let out the breath in little huffs as if I were getting ready to do a spring and pressed the thick side of the blade against my palm, over the slice in my hand and closed my eyes. Just like always, there was a pause and I struggled to think that maybe I hadn't done the spell right, maybe this thing was never going to close, but just as the thought of failure formed, the heat burned through me.

I stood from the chair, head for the bathroom as my stomach began to turn, the blade still gripped and pressed and I knew I wasn't going to make it. It fought against the spell that sat tucked inside and I could feel it knitting around the stone. The pain was unbelievable and my eyes darkened as I fell to my knees halfway to the bathroom.

The door opened just as I was about to let out a scream, maybe it was the noises of me fighting through the pain that caught his attention but there was suddenly arms around me and I was being pulled back against Dean, the fresh scent of his cigarette settled in his skin as his hand went to my forehead, holding me back against his chest when I fought the darkness to see Sam kneeling in front of me. His blue-green eyes shot up to stare at mine as the pain died down and my fingers uncurled from the handle of the blade.

"Jesus, Ali, what the hell did you do?" Sam questioned as I dropped the blade and grabbed my right wrist.

He pulled that same hand into his and looked over the unmarked skin, his thumb smoothing over it as he tried to figure out where the blood had come from but as he touched it, I couldn't stop my body from responding to the pain and I heard Dean's breath catch as I moved back against him, where I sat tucked between his knees.

"Sam, man, you gotta stop that," Dean growled and I watched Sam's eyes quickly flicker up to his brother and his thumb stopped its caress as I tried to suppress the moan of not only pain, but pleasure as well. Sam straightened just a bit and looked at the table behind us.

"Dean, she has your blade," he said softly and I felt Dean turn to look at the table and then down at the bloody rag beside him, which he picked up and handed to Sam. "Ali, what's going on?"

"Angel-vs-demon blade, which hurts worse?" I tried to laugh as the pain continued to subside, but Dean wouldn't let me go, his other arm finally coming across to rest on my stomach as Sam sat on the floor, a hand on my leg and one still holding my bloodied one. "Demon wins, what a bitch!"

"You cut yourself?" Dean questioned, his voice scolding and I felt him shake his head before his lips came down on the top of mine. "I think you need your head examined!" And, I closed my eyes as a smile formed on my face, before I lazily looked at Sam, squeezing my fingers around his. "What possessed you to do that? You could have gotten killed."

"Nah, it was just a little scratch," I whispered but remembered the pain that it caused and my stomach decided to do flip-flops. "God, let me go," I growled and pulled off of him.

Dean released me as I did the best I could to scurry to the bathroom just in time to empty whatever I had left in my stomach. Thank someone that I had managed to put my hair back before I started this whole thing. Once I could breathe without needing the bowl close by, I flushed and sat back against the tub, the cool feel of the ceramic was a gift as I watched the boys pick up my mess.

It was then that I remember the spell was still on the table, but as I watched Dean pick up his blade, look it over and then glance at me, with a bit of loving disapproval in his eyes, I noticed that the paper had made it to the floor under it and I let out a breath. Yeah if they had known what I had done, there would be hell to pay.

"Hey, Kid," Dean whispered as he walked over, squatted down in front of me and held up the blade, "don't touch my stuff."

"Hey, Dean," I spoke softly, but I let the half-cocked smile I felt edging up cross my lips, "bite me."

"You keep saying that, and I think I might," he winked and stood, grabbing a plastic cup from the counter. He filled it with water, and handed it down to me before taking a clean face cloth to run under warm water. Sam walked up and stood in the doorway, John's journal in hand and he gave me a confused look. "What's that?"

"Dad's journal," Sam replied and Dean kind of gave it a "whatever" look before he squeezed out the towel, knelt down and washed off my face, then grabbed my hand and started to clean the blood from my palm, still looking for a sign to see what exactly I had been doing but my eyes were on Sam. "Why did you take it?"

"Oh, come on, it's your dad's life for the last ten years, Sam, don't you want to know what it says?" I sighed and watched him raise a brow as his lips turned to a frown. "I'm sorry," I whispered, knowing that John, himself was a touchy subject, but the last ten years was even worse. "Listen, from what I read, I'm in there too, so I grabbed it so that I could find out exactly what John knew about the demon riding him, okay, I'm just sorry I didn't tell you."

"Wait, the demon let Dad out?" Dean questioned and looked between Sam and I, before he stopped just on me.

"Yeah, I guess it was something they came up with but, John never slept, he just gathered everything he could so when he was _awake_ , he could write it down, give us something to use." I answered and watched as Dean turned to look at Sam, slowly standing up.

"Dad was awake, and what, spying on the demon for us?" The older one was confused but Sam kind of gave him a shrug and then sighed, loudly. "You knew about this?"

"I just found out Dean, when we found the grimoire up at the cabin, this is how we found it." Sam shrugged and let Dean snatch the journal from his hand before the older one knocked against Sam's shoulder as he pressed by.

I slowly got to my feet, watching Sam turn as he followed Dean and I used the opportunity to rinse my mouth out, give it a good, quick brushing and then use the mouthwash that was on the counter. By the time I got out to the middle of the floor, Dean was sitting at the table, reading somewhere at the midpoint in the book, his finger up against his lip as his elbows went to his knees, his usual way of sitting when he was into something.

"Dean, listen," Sam started but all his older brother did was raise a hand, which instantly silenced Sam.

"This says Dad came to check on us, Sam," his voice was low, full of hurt and confusion, but he sat back, rubbed a hand over his mouth and his eye came up to connect with his younger brother. "Dad knows where we were every week for ten years, he knew just how to find us, and never once did he make contact."

"For six days out of that week, he was controlled by a demon, Dean." Sam explained, his voice the one of reason as Dean's emotions seemed to spiral. "Maybe he thought he was protecting us, I mean, Cas was watching him too, and if Dad knew where we were, Cas knew where Dad was, so why didn't Cas say anything?"

"Every time I found him, he was back at the safehouse," Cas' voice spoke up pulling my eyes in the direction of the door where he and Danni stood. "If I had known he was anywhere in your area, Sam, I certainly would have said something."

"Listen, it doesn't matter now, does it? Cause he's dead!" Dean growled and stood up, closing the book, but he shook it as Sam. "You should have told me about this, Sam, the minute you put your hands on it, I should have been the first to know."

"Yeah, because that was always the first thing on my mind when I pick something up of Dad's, gotta tell Dean." Sam snapped back and I started to feel the heat in my gut as the air in the room thickened. "Dean, seriously, I didn't even know she brought it back with here. The only thing I grabbed when we were there was the book, if I had known I would have told you."

"Okay, so now it's Ali's fault?" Dean barked and I tried to keep the vision from turning but I could almost feel it in my heart. My knees buckled as I leaned up against the dresser, the overwhelming anger seemed to flow through me. "What the hell, Sam, he was our father, this is his journal, it has nothing to do with her."

"What's with you all of a sudden?" Sam's questioned, but you could hear the anger through his clenched teeth and my head began to swim. "Back off her, Dean, she's not your girl."

"Then you should really start doing a better job of protecting her, because she's so screwed up right now it's going to take a miracle to get her back." I focused on them, the way they were toe-to-toe and suddenly all I saw was a flash of light and smoky red.

"Guys," I whispered, trying to catch my breath, but the heat was rising, the energy was flowing towards me and as much as I enjoyed the feeling, knowing that it was something Dean was pushing out scared the hell out of me, but they kept right on going. "BOYS!" I snapped and both looked at me as I let my legs finally give out. On my knees, leaning against the dresser, eyes full of power, I stared at them. "You need to stop."

"Ali!" Sam was instantly in a state of panic as he came over and lifted me up from the floor.

I could barely contain my stomach as he moved too fast to lay me on the bed. I didn't want to lay down, I wanted to sit up, I wanted to move… I wanted to hunt, but the blade was across the room, or tucked somewhere that I couldn't see it because all I could feel was the vibrations.

"Just stop fighting," I whispered as he took my hand and I drew in a deep breath, reaching out for Dean with the other one. I could feel the power from both, the differences between them and surprisingly they seemed to balance me out. Sam's mouth was pressed against my forehead as he smoothed back my hair, and Dean's lips were on the back of my hand but it was Danni that I could see at the end of the bed and her hand reached out to grab my leg. "We have to break it."

"I know," she whispered as we both looked at Dean. He glanced between us and watched as I sighed before he sat back and shook his head. "Dean, you can't stay tied to her."

"You're saying I did this?" He questioned, sitting back and watched Danni nod. "Through the link, the tether? I sent her that much power?"

"You feel each other's," Cas spoke up and Dean released my hand, gently, as he placed it on the bed, but released it none-the-less, "your link is very powerful, Dean, but it will take an emotional toll on the both of you if it continues."

"I think she's been through enough," Dean snapped, glaring at the angel, "don't you? Both of them have, and I can't be part of hurting either one of them, so we need to find a way to break it."

"It's doing more harm than good anyway," Danni added and watched as he turned in her direction, the deep anger in his eyes, but then he turned to me. That was my anger that he was feeling and I turned away from him, only to be caught in Sam's eyes. "If it keeps going, you won't be able to tell whose emotions you're feeling, which is why the tether was supposed to be between her and Sam."

"You couldn't have handled it," I whispered, looking at the man in front of me, and suddenly the anger in his eyes grew as well. "I'm sorry, it's true, Sam," I closed my eyes, then turned to look at Dean because these were his thoughts. He gave me an expression as if I had just caught him doing something that he wasn't supposed to and scowled. Squeezing Sam's hand, I reached over and turned him to look at me. "I was afraid, and stupid, and I tried to control, I don't know… fate, I guess. But this wasn't supposed to happen. I couldn't have you tied to this, and he shouldn't be locked into it either."

"So how do we fix it?" Dean questioned.

"How do you get divorced?" Danni replied and all of us turned to her. "The ritual, the binding spell sounded more like wedding vows, you were giving your magic to him, letting him be a beacon in the night."

"And that says "wedding" how?" I questioned, making an effort to sit up as Sam released my hand. This was all going very bad. "And how do you divorce a spell?"

"You essentially take back what you gave." Sam stated, and I watched as he glanced at me, anger and disappointment in his eyes. "You take back your vows."

I watched him stand and leave the room, and all I could do was close my eyes, but I knew I had to go after him. Pushing off the bed, I moved past the others on rather solid legs but I was when I got to the door of the other room that I saw him pacing, his hands tented over his nose and mouth and a dangerous, deadly look in his eyes.

"Sam?" I spoke softly as I entered the room and waited. He was angry, anyone could see that but he was also dark, and that I could feel. It flowed off of him like a beacon and I swallowed back the need to rush forward just to touch that darkness. "I can't fix it, can I?"

"There's nothing to fix, Ali," he mumbled through his fingers. "At least not with me."

"What does that mean?" I questioned, completely confused, and suddenly my heart hurt. "We're not… I mean, you're not…"

The lack of ability to form a coherent sentence must have gotten his attention because suddenly he was looking up at me. I felt the fear then, my own overriding fear of losing him, of never having him with me, of my life without Sam and I felt the tears.

His hands were on my cheeks the next moment, holding me tightly as I felt his body press up against mine, backing me up towards the wall, but just as my hands registered that he was there, that I was able to grasp ahold of his shirt, his lips came down on mine, his knees bending to accommodate the height difference.

He pulled away, at least just his lips did as he held me there, his face pressed against mine as his eyes remained tightly closed.

"You will _never_ lose me, Al, I swear," his voice was barely audible but his words registered the one place they needed too, deep in my heart. "I would never ask you to be with me and then take it back, not over something like this, not ever."

"You just… I mean, Dean," I stumbled and he sighed.

"We'll figure out Dean, we always do." He smiled against my lips, "what I mean was that there was nothing between us to fix, because there's nothing wrong with us." His mouth pressed against mine and I closed my lips down on his, taking in the taste of him, feeling the flames deep inside grow and it seemed like a natural reaction to pull him closer as my hands came up to his hair, but he pulled away once more. "I know how to break it."

"How?" He was too close, too hot and with all the emotions that were going on inside me, I needed him too much to keep him that close, and with a little push, I think he got the idea.

Reluctantly, Sam backed away. Standing straight, I watched him eye me over, the look in his eyes was one of possession and want, but he took a few deep breaths, ran his hands through his unruly hair and put a few more steps between us. Releasing the sigh, he reached for the book of shadows and held it up to me, before flipping open the page.

"A ritual for magical unbinding," he read from the page that he had marked and I felt all the tension go out of my shoulders as I put my head back against the door. "For unbinding magic used to keep a tethered eye on one's partner, this spell is simple and includes only one ingredient."

"Let me guess, troll?" I sneered but watched as he smiled.

"The object that bound the two together," he answered and I closed my eyes. "What?"

"How much do you want to bet that there is no way he still has that," I sighed.

"Wait, there was an object?"

"I had a piece of twine wrapped around my thumb just before we did the spell," I replied and shook my head, "I spelled it to make the magic bounce off me, so that the tether between us wouldn't work, but Dean kind of caught on and took it from me." I pushed away from the wall and made my way over to look at the book, to get a good look at the spell when Sam set it on the table. My hand went to his shoulder, needing that contact and Sam glanced up to catch my eyes. "Dean put it in his pocket, he had it on him during the ritual, but the issue was, your part of the tether, the one that would have bound us, kind of ricocheted and must have linked me to him because he was carrying the twine."

"A piece of twine?" Sam smiled and I honestly think he really was getting a kick out of this. "So, we need to find out where it is."

"Gotta ask Dean that," I shrugged and watched as he nodded, before looking down at the book.

Yeah, this was going to go over like a surfer during a tidal wave.


	65. DH God Killers - 32

**Chapter 32**

Sometimes in life, you come to find that even the most well-thought out plans fall apart, players that you never expected to have a part in the play get the lead role, while others that you thought would be key players weren't there at all. Plans change, people come and go, and while all this is going on, you find that there are things that you just can't get control of.

While you plan and chart, map and make for every little hiccup, sometimes thing just seem to slip through, something you would never see coming.

"The string?" Dean questioned, just a little bit of this side of shock and annoyed. "You want me to find the string that I put in my pocket however long ago?" He put his hands on his hips and lowered his head. "Do you know how much backtracking that would mean?"

"Yeah," I stated, with indifference and I shrugged, "did you check your wallet?"

"What?" he grinned, "No! Why would I put it there?"

"It's usually where you stash your rubbers." I answered honestly and heard Sam cough behind me. Dean rolled his eyes, dug his wallet out of his back pocket and I watched those green orbs come back at me narrowed.

"I don't know what's more disturbing, the fact that you would think of my wallet, or that you know where I stash my condoms," he mumbled as he opened the bi-fold wallet and pulled on the fabric, showing me the content of the bill fold. There, inside, along with a pretty thick stack of bills, were two foil packets and an old piece of string. "What the hell, woman, are you going through my stuff?"

"Seriously?" Sam asked as he watched Dean pull the string out and hold it up between two fingers, but he only got a smile from me as he shook his head. "Okay, well, we just need the salt circles."

I walked by Dean as I snatched the keys to the Charger from the table and made my way out to the car. I felt him follow, and as I leaned in to see what Sam had hidden there, I could feel his presence closing in.

"This is why we have to break it." I sighed and felt the car move as he leaned against it. "You can't even let me walk out the door anymore."

"You think that's because of the tether and not because I'm concerned for your safety?" Dean questioned and I stood up, turning to look at him, two large containers of salt in my hand.

"How did this turn into us?" I questioned and stared into those confused eyes. "When this all began, when I got down here, it was about the case, about your Dad about everything else in the world and now it's down to us, you and me, Dean, how did that happen?"

"It's called a spell, Ali," he growled, and watched as I shook my head.

"It was before the _spell_ , Dean!" I glanced up at the stars, the way the light from the rising sun was just about to start the longest day of the year. It was just past midnight, 12:24 and the light was already starting to break on the horizon. "Do you realized that crap between us has just been going down since we got here, no wait, since the car ride down. It's been nonstop between us, how fair is that to Danni and Sam."

"I think you've lost your mind, this isn't any different than it's ever been." He replied but he still seemed to close the distance without really realizing that he was doing it, his hand resting on mine as I gripped the frame of the trunk. "I'm sorry if my wanting to keep you safe disturbs you."

"It doesn't," I paused and shook my head. "You don't get it, Dean, it doesn't disturb me, it confuses me."

"Well, I'm sorry for that too," he growled and went to move away but I grabbed his shirt and stopped him in his tracks.

"Wanna let me finish, Winchester?" I ordered and watched as he stared up at the sky. "It confuses me because it's growing, it's getting stronger and I don't know what to do about it. I meant what I said in the warehouse, Dean, I love you."

He turned back to me and reached out, caressing the back of his hand down my cheek. "And you know that I meant it too, Ali, but it doesn't change anything. It doesn't change who we are to each other, and it doesn't change who we're with or who we fell for."

"I know that," I let him go and grabbed the cans again, before I turned away from him.

"Hey, Kid," his voice had me stopping as he stepped up behind me, a hand sliding to my hip. "I not going anywhere, I don't care what happens or how confused you feel, you're not getting rid of me. Sammy understands that, Danni, she gets it, and you," his lips brushed my cheek before he stopped by my ear, "you're just going to have to deal with it."

I smiled as he let me go and walked past me. Sam stood in the doorway, a little smirk on his face as he crossed his arms and the two brothers exchanged glances before Sam came out and took the cans from me.

"So where are we doing this?" I questioned and watched as he licked his lips.

"We're missing one thing," he shrugged and I watched his eyes go towards the front of the cars. When I turned I watched as Crowley walked out of the darkness. "A sixth person."

"Why didn't we need him before?" But all Sam did was shrug as Crowley stepped up beside me, gave me a grin and looked between the two of us.

"My, aren't we a sorry lot." I heard his stupid accent whisper and I so wanted to punch him, but I saw the look on Sam's face when my fists bunched up.

"Can we just get this over with, please?" I questioned, before turning away and heading out towards the back field where I had seen Cas, Danni and Dean disappear to. Sam closed the door to the room and then moved ahead of us, but as we rounded the corner, as Sam stepped up beside Dean, handing off the can of Salt, I stopped Crowley, almost literally by pushing him up against the brick wall.

"Why would Dean ever want to unlink himself from you?" The man's deep voice stirred up the anger in me and I met his eyes as he stared down at me, "the power that you hold is astronomical. Between you and Squirrel, I bet you could take on the world."

"Just drop it," I barked and watched him raise a brow. "I have to do this and you know why, but I want to ask a few things of you before this goes down."

"I told you, Pet, you're already part of a deal, you can't sell your soul to me if it's already bought and paid for."

"You owe me, Crowley, and you swore to protect me so this is me asking for that protection, for them," I turned and looked up at Sam and Dean, which got the demon's eyes to go there too and Crowley smiled.

"You want _me_ to watch over those two lumbering buffoons?" he questioned with a smile, but I knew he would do it. He had a soft spot for them, and I heard him let out a breath, giving in way too easily. "Fine, but under one condition."

"No, Crowley, no more conditions, no more pacts, no more contracts." I met his eyes once again and watched as he grew more curious. "There is one other thing."

"Don't you think you're pushing it with having me babysit the Winchesters?" but he grinned as he said it.

"They don't need to be babysat, they need to be protected. If I know anything about what's coming, if anything in that show is true, they're going to need you, and I'm not saying that to make your stupid Scottish head any bigger, they really are going to need your help."

"I already said it was fine, Peaches, do you want me to take it back?" His voice went low as he started to get annoyed. "Now spit out your other thing before we get called to join the lovefest."

"Danni," I started.

"Already protected, Pet, can't do much more with that soul either."

"Just zip it and listen," I closed my eyes for a second, to really gather my words and took a breath. When I looked up at him, the fire burned in his eyes and I could feel his power. "The next time I come looking for you, I want you to know just where to find her."

"What makes you think you won't know where she's at?" His eyes scanned me over and suddenly, as if realization came to him, his brows went up, "Oh," was all he said before he looked over at Danni, watched the way she moved for just a moment before those eyes rested on me once again, "done."

"That's it, just like that?" It seemed to shock me that he gave in so fast, but this _was_ Crowley, which meant that there was something else up his sleeve. He leaned in, close to my ear and whispered.

"Anything for my Angel," and with that, he walked around me. His little remarks were really starting to get on my nerves and I held back the audible growl that seemed to fill my chest.

Dean stood across from me looking down at the thick circle of salt in the grass, before his eyes glanced up at mine and I looked away, watching Sam close the circle around me. This time was different, our circles touched, where the other ones hadn't. I could feel the anxiety growing and felt my hands begin to shake as Dean pulled the piece of twine out of his pocket.

I watched as he played with it, running it through his fingers as I witnessed all of the emotions that ran through his eyes, something that no one else would have seen if they weren't paying close enough attention. He looked up at me suddenly, cleared his throat and clenched it between his fingers as he stood straight and Sam finished what he was doing with that salt.

"So, ah, what…" Dean looked around before his eyes landed right on mine, "what do we got to do to get this done?"

"Simple enough," Sam whispered and handed me the lighter. "You have to break it."

"That's it?" Dean questioned as I looked down at the lighter in my hand, but I knew that wasn't _just_ it. Breaking it with fire was symbolic of burning away a connection, like burning a bridge and I could feel the way it started to weigh in my hands. "I could have freaking done that on my own."

"It wouldn't have worked," I added, and chanced looking up into those green eyes. "One of us has to hold it, the other has to…"

"Oh," he replied, like he got my meaning before I even said the words. "Well, this blows!" He took a moment to fidget around with it just a little more before he grabbed each end and held it out to me. "Do it."

"Dean, I," but I couldn't say anything else, couldn't express my own fears on breaking something so strong but I knew that it was just the magical tie that kept us together, it wasn't going to change the way that we felt, or the connection, at least I hoped not. I flicked open the lighter and ran my thumb over the wheel, sparking up a small flame from the Zippo. Moving closer I could see the nervousness in his eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Not at all," he breathed but moved the twine so that it rested within the flames and we both watched as it caught fire. It sparked, like a little firecracker and suddenly Dean dropped it. Watching it sale to the ground between us, I closed the cover on the lighter, sealing off the flame and watched as the twine finished burning between us. Confused, I looked up at Dean, and he at me as he shook his head. "I don't feel any…"

The sharp pain in my chest suddenly sent me to the ground as I pressed my hand against the feeling of my heart being ripped through my ribcage. Thought misty eyes, I could see Dean on his knees, his eyes filled with tears as his head was back, eyes closed but his lips were parted. His fingers seemed to dig in as he pressed against the spot over his heart.

I let the pain out, let a small cry from my lips as I placed my head to the coolness of the grass, hoping it would soon reside but it only became blinding and I felt Sam's hand on my back, smoothing across the skin there.

Curled up onto myself, with my knees pulled to my chest, I turned my head and looked at Dean, at the way he was now sitting, fists to the ground, head hanging down, breathing through it as the pain began to fade.

I reached out a hand to him, wanting nothing more than for him to take it but just as he reached out, just as I saw the green of his eyes in the darkness, that hand was ripped away.

"Dean!" Sam screamed, catching my attention and I pushed myself up.

Zane smiled down at me from behind the older Winchester, a blade to Dean's throat as his hand gripped him by the hair. The demon was smiling, and his eyes were full of anger.

"I'm tired of playing this little game, Love," Zane growled. "Sunrise will soon be here, time to begin a new world, and you'll either come and stand next to me, or you'll watch me kill your precious family, one by one, starting with this Winchester."

"Dean," I whispered, as I moved to my knees, staring in disbelief. Dean's eyes were locked on mine, and his face was full of anger. He shook his head, just a bit, his fingers came up, holding me off before I could lunge.

"Tread carefully, my precious girl, once little slice of this knife and your light won't ever shine again." Zane's lip curled in anger.

 _My_ light? I shook my head, not sure that he even understood what he was saying but Dean didn't say a word, he didn't have too. His eyes went to Sam, landed on his brother and I watched that way they used just their eyes to say what they wanted. Sam's hand grasped my arm, something Dean had told him to do, to make sure I stayed put because the anger in me would have had me up and moving without a thought.

And then they were gone.

"DEAN!" Danni screamed and I turned to see Cas holding her in his arms and she fought to get away, and then Crowley stood there, angel blade in hand but none of them moved, everyone just seemed to freeze in their spot, at least maybe it was just for that one second, that single beat of my heart.

I swallowed and sat back against Sam, his chest heaving as he stared at the spot where his brother just was, before I realized what had just happened and I turned to him, sat up on my knees and grabbed his shirt.

"I know where he is," I whispered and even as it took a minute to register, Sam's gaze traveled to mine.

"What?" he said softly.

"I know where he took him," I continued and put my hand on Sam's face, holding him tightly as I looked into his eye. "I can take you there."

"You're going to need more of a plan than that, Kitten," Crowley spoke up as he stepped closer. I nodded, giving him a little bit of a scowl and looked around, backing away from Sam. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on Zane, but just as I touched the darkness, I was pulled back to my body and I opened my eyes to find myself staring right into Crowley's growing red orbs. "That's not a plan either, are you trying to get yourself killed? Zadimus will take you apart limb by limb, Ali, and the first place he'll strike is your heart, that's why he took Dean, now keep it together."

"Get off me!" I snapped, swiping at his hand as I stood from the spot where he held me and covered my mouth as I walked. I could feel the eyes on me but the only thing I wanted to feel was the anger, I needed it to power up, I needed it to clear my vision.

"Are you out of your mind?" Again, Crowley was right in front of me.

"What do you want from me?" I stepped up to him, the pain of losing Dean, even if he were still alive at the moment was overpowering, and I felt the flash in my vision, felt it growing in my heart. "This is what you wanted, me, full force, to kill a god, and now you're asking if I'm out of my mind." I clenched my fists, dug my nails into the palm of my hands and watched the smoky red vision take over. "I swear to God, Crowley, if he dies…"

"You'll what?" The demon closed the gap between us and I could feel the blade, from all the way out in the field, I could feel the vibration as the air thickened. "Good," he whispered and my eyes settled back on him, "yes, do you feel that, all that power?"

I stumbled to find the words, wanted to be pissed at him for making me power up but he had gotten me to a point that I needed to be. I watched the smile cross his lips, just a little smirk and he looked back at Castiel.

"Now we need your partner to get her wings and we'll be ready to go."

"This isn't a game, Crowley!" Sam stomped up and put himself between the two of us, his hand going to my arm as he tucked me behind him. "Do you even know what happens when she's that charged? Have you seen what it does to her?"

"Oh, I've seen, Moose, trust me, I've seen." And he said it with pride but I heard him walk away, stepping in the opposite direction than the hotel. "And I'll meet you wherever you need me to, but until then," I moved from behind Sam, looked over at the King of Hell in all his red glory and watched him point at me, "that one there, she can find and kill evil with her eyes closed. So, you won't mind me stepping away to save my own ass."

And with that, he was gone.

Sam turned to me, grabbed me by the upper arms and stared me in the eyes. "Ali, can you find Dean?"

"Yeah," I glanced over at Danni and Cas, at the way they glowed and I shook my head, "but I can't take all of you, I can only take one."

"Danni can follow you," Cas suggested as the two of them got closer and I tried to blink back the power but it didn't seem to be working, so I turned away.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "you're too bright."

Danni laughed, the first thing I had heard from here since Dean had disappeared. She had screamed his name but everything else had been blocked out by the fact that all I could hear was the whoosh of his heartbeat, though faded, it seemed that the tether was still there.

"If you find him, I'll find you," Danni whispered, her hand on my cheek as I closed my eyes, still not able to look at her. "Ali, I trust you, just get us to Dean."

"Fine, but we're going to need some supplies." I replied and slipped out of their grasp, moving towards the room. I needed the blade, I needed Dean's knife and I think I might have needed at least a little space. I had a plan, I just had to stick with it.

The blade vibrated in my hand, there was no way to not feel it as I closed my fingers around it and found myself smiling, but then my thoughts went completely south as I looked up at Sam and wondered how good he was with toys, if he could pull of half the stuff he did with just his hands, but I shook the thought away as I saw the sly, cheeky grin run up his lips. Yep, he knew me well.

With a glance at Danni and Cas, I slowly reached out and waited for Sam's fingers to slip around mine. As I drew in a deep breath, as he stepped closer, I looked up into those blue-green eyes and licked my lips.

"Whatever happens, Sam, I love you!" I whispered, but it was only for his ears, and he reached out his free hand, stroked down the side of my face gently with the back of his fingers and I watched his jaw clench.

"I love you too, Ali, more than anything." He replied, and stepped towards me. That was my cue, that was the go ahead signal that told me there was no turning back now, and my gaze flickered at the two behind him. No words were spoken, nothing exchanged except a look between Danni and I before I took a step back.

When Sam looked around, his jaw nearly dropped as the smell of the Whole Foods store surrounded us. I watched him swallow, his gaze going everywhere as I turned in the direction of the pull inside my chest.

"Can you feel him?" He whispered, pushing himself up close behind me. If I leaned back, all I would feel was Sam and as much of a comfort as that was, it also made my heart race, and thoughts of failure run through my mind. "Ali?"

"Yeah," I replied and felt his fingers touching mine but I couldn't take his hand, there was just something there that made me afraid to touch him, "he's this way."

The two of us seemed to move silently through the halls, as if we weren't really there in solid form but it might have been because the only other noise I could make out was the sound of Dean's heart, at least until I felt the presence of Danni and Cas, not far from where we had come in.

We weaved around boxes, past walk-in refrigerators, stacks of some sorts of fruits and vegetables, until we came to a hallway that I recognized. Instantly, I could feel the wards that Sam and Danni had put up, the magic that seemed to permeate the air and I shivered.

"I thought you didn't activate them," I said softly as Sam stepped up beside me and looked around.

"I didn't, all of our wards are off," he replied but I could hear the sound of concern in his voice. "Someone else must have activated something."

"Great, we tripped the early warning system," I sighed and turned as Cas and Danni came around the corner. "Well, we can't all be in the same place at the same time, that's way too convenient."

"Al," Sam whispered, and I knew what he was warning me about. Too much power was surging and I was feeling it.

I took a deep breath, raised my hand and paused for a moment to catch myself before I looked at Danni and Cas. "I should go in," I suggested and looked at the three of them, but before they could protest I kept speaking. "It's me he wants, and it's Dean he has, because of me. If I went in, then he wouldn't even care that the rest of you were coming up from the other entrances."

"That's probably the most asinine plan I've ever heard!" Danni spoke up and I rolled my eyes as I looked at her.

"Seriously, cause that's all that I got, unless you think going in guns blazing is going to be a better plan." I snapped and watched her shake her head. "Really, if you got something else then please, let's hear it!"

"In every horror movie, they split up all but the main character bites it!" She shrugged, "sorry, not going to be Suzie Q and bite the dust in the first five minutes of this B-movie."

"So, what do we do?"

That was when things got a little crazy.

It seemed to be the best way to handle a situation, stand and argue until something comes out of the woodwork to bite you in the ass. In this case, it was demons, about fifteen of them. We sliced and slashed our way through the crowd of monsters, and with each one it seemed that my power grew, but my view of the others seemed to disappear.

We were separated, just what we had said we didn't want to do and just when I felt the blade slice through the fourth or fifth neck that I had swung at, I found myself in the main hall, the same room where I had kept Dean tied to a chair.

Bloody from the fight, holding a dripping blade down towards the floor, I stepped backwards as I looked up at the glowing sigils on the walls. These were the wards that I could feel, the ones that made me feel trapped and edgy, the ones that Zane had put up to stop me from going anywhere, because I knew once I crossed that threshold, there was no way I was getting back out.

The mildly annoying sound of hands clapping together in a sarcastic rhythm too loud to be anything but a big fat "you just screwed up" kind of applause came from behind me and I slowly turned, letting out the breath that I had been holding, the one that I had taken just as the head of the last demon rolled onto the floor.

Dean looked beat to hell kneeling on the floor in front of Zane, his face bloody, his eye swelling as the crimson liquid dripped down his right side, his lips were split and I watched as he swayed, but he reached out a hand as demon gripped his hair and brought the knife around again.

I swung the blade, watching every little movement that Zane made when I stepped closer. I tilted my head, pushed back every feeling I had accept the anger and licked my lips. The demon laughed, and I say demon because there was no angel left in this one. Hybrid or not, there wasn't any light that would make me think of anything but the devil. He laughed a deep-throated sound that nearly turned my stomach and I could remember it from the night that he did nothing but torment me with it. This time, though, I was strong enough to block him out.

"So, what now?" I questioned, giving him a shrug, "are we going to monologue our way through this until I'm close enough to run you through, or are we going to go back and forth with the whole "be my bride, stand at my side" bull crap that you pulled last time?"

"I thought I might just kill this one," he said with a neither-here-nor-there kind of tone, but as he said it, he moved the knife and waved it around, "and then maybe do the same with the other one, you know cut him down to may be deer-sized more manageable pieces before I ate his heart."

"Yeah, that ain't gonna happen," I laughed and shook my head. "Why don't you just let him go, I mean, he did what he intended to do, he got me here, you got me here, just like you wanted."

"Yeah, but now I want just a little bit more," he grinned and his accented began to grate on my nerves. I was tired of hearing it in my head, out loud, and I was done looking at his face.

"What else could you possibly want? I mean, honestly, you have everything." I needed to pace, my feet wouldn't stay still and I had to stall for time. Danni needed to be in the room for this to possibly work.

"It's simple really," he grinned, "I want Danni dead, I want Crowley on a spike, and I want your little angel under the heel of my boot."

"Oh, is that all?" I laughed. "Dead Winchesters, dead angel, dead King, and oh yeah, dead Danni? Why do I not see this happening either?"

"Oh, you'll be surprised what can happen when you put your mind to it." It seemed to be working because Zane let go of Dean and started making his way over towards the edge of the devil's trap, closer to me but I stopped just outside the line. Not glancing at Dean, but seeing him move out of my peripheral vision, I watched the way that Zane looked me over. "You're so very beautiful," he complimented but I rolled my eyes, "no one ever showed you how to properly take a compliment, did they?"

"It's not the compliment, it's the person saying it that I could really do without." I shook my head and wiped the blood off the blade with the side of my jeans. "No matter what you say, you're not going to change my mind about being with you."

"I could just compel you." Zane whispered, smiling, as he stopped just short of the line and I grinned back.

"You are more than welcome to try."

Zane gave me just a little shake, "I think I could fall in love with you," but this statement was followed by a laugh. "No wonder children, these boys are so deeply in love with you," he looked at Dean, who had made progress across the barrier line, but he had just about run out of breath when he rolled over onto his back, trying to find the strength. "Even that one is in love with you, a strange kind of love, but still deeply in it. I wonder if his girl knows that the connection runs so deep."

"Oh, she knows something alright." Danni's voice spoke up from the other side of the circle and I listened to the low laugh of the man before me. Danni placed the blade up on her shoulder, the blood had been wiped at some point and its edges seemed to shine in the light from overhead. "Our boys love us, asshole, that's all that counts."

"You may think so," he turned to her, put his back to me and I shook my head at Danni as he moved in her direction but that was when I watched Cas move up to where Dean lay. He reached down, touched the bloodied man's forehead and I felt the power that the angel transferred, which also caught Zane's attention. "Well, well, well, looks like the gangs all here, all we're missing is…" Zane turned to his left and watched as Sam stepped out of the darkness, "the little brother, the lover… Sammy."

"Don't call me that," Sam snapped, pulling out the colt from behind his back as he clicked the slide back. He looked over at me and winked. "You okay?"

"Me?" I grinned, "peachy."

"So this is your plan? This little gathering of souls?" Zane laughed and, oh, how I hated it. "Seems you're a little short on power there, Precious." He stared at me, coming back up to the line again and I watched his eyes glow a fierce blue "Where's the King?"

"He didn't come with," I smiled and watched that grin turn to a scowl. "I guess he didn't feel that it was as much of an important day after all. I mean, honestly, if you think about it, he already gave me _my_ birthday present."

"And what was that?"

Zane blinked as I whispered under my breath: "transire pravus," and suddenly, he was pushed back from the line.

"What did you do?" he barked as he reached out a hand, letting it shimmer along the barrier and the small scowl turned back to that evil grin. "A devil's trap?"

I gave him a slight shrug and watched as he looked over the lines on the floor, now visible under the glow of the magic that sealed it so that no evil could pass. Yeah, one foot in the wrong direction and I was trapped behind that line as well. He looked up at me, the glow in his blue eyes was filled with humor just a little too much and I watched as he bit down on his lip.


	66. DH God Killers - Season Finale

**Chapter 33**

"Well, you know, it might have been the best we could do with what we had but we did have just a little bit of help." I glanced over at the others that stood at the ready as the trap sealed and finally set my eyes back on Zane's. he looked like a child, some spoiled little brat and something about that really bothered me. "So, yeah, a devil's trap."

"Mixed with just a bit of angel juice," Crowley laughed as he stepped out of the shadows, moving up to stand beside me. He bumped my arm with his elbow. "Your wards are set, there will be no other demons getting in this room." He beamed with pride and winked at me. "You're welcome."

"You really are a moron if you think this will hold me." Zane sighed but he watched the way that I didn't sway under his threat. "You think your puny spells can hold me?"

"Actually, they're not our spells," I whispered.

"They're from Asmodeus," Danni finished, which made Zane spin on his heels in her direction. "You see, Daddy Dearest didn't like what he created so he wrote it all down."

"Every little spell that we could use against you," Sam spoke up, "he put it all down in a book and he let our father watch."

"So, yeah," Dean smirked, now standing next to the angel, "we know everything. Every which way in heaven and on Earth to put you down, you son of a bitch."

"Oh, I love the human mentality!" Zane laughed and suddenly, his arms went out in both directions.

Sam flew across the room, pushed back against the concrete wall by an invisible force so hard that he was knocked unconscious. Dean and Cas were tossed like ragdolls, thrown through the air, landing with the sound of a grotesque thud as I heard the air go out of both of them.

Zane turned to Crowley, his hand shot out and gripped into a fist, literally squeezing the demon King with an invisible fist that forced him off the ground.

"Demons are always so bloody smug! Bloody arrogant little bastards!" Zane growled as his bright red stared at the man in black. "I could snap your head off right now."

"Go ahead and try," I whispered and watched him look at me in shock. "I mean, you seem to play a mean game but can you really do it or are you just a little limp?" Zane growled as he tossed Crowley way, somewhere into the darkened corner of the building and he came at me, only to hit the barrier. "How's that holding up now?"

"When I get to you, there isn't anything I won't do," he threatened, his face turning red as he growled and all I could do was smile. "You will come to me, Alison, you will give into the darkness."

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Dean sat up, shake the cobwebs out of his head and look at me, then look around for his brother. My head turned in the direction of Sam as if to say to Zane that I was worried about him, and that was the way the monster took it.

"Don't worry about him, love, you won't remember him when we're done," he whispered and slowly, I licked my lips, before biting down on the bottom one.

"You think you're that powerful that I would just give up everything to rule beside you?" I questioned, moving up to the barrier, my hand twisting on the handle of the knife. "You truly think that whatever you offer me would make me want give up what I have just to be with you? You selfish, pigheaded, self-centered little shit! Who's the arrogant little bastard now, Zane? You're just a child with powers and play toys! Is there any part of you that's even a man?"

"UGH!" he screamed at me and the power vibrated through the whole building. I knew what I was doing, pissing him off, poking the bear, but I needed him angry to fuel what I needed to do, I needed him angry so that I could take what power I had to and get this finished. "You stupid little whore!"

Looking at my surroundings, I knew that the time was drawing near, I could feel it in the air, in the way the sun was rising. There was always a point in the day, especially on the solstice where the power of the Sun God blinded the power of the Moon Goddess and this was that moment, this was that time and I had to use everything I had to finish this now.

I glanced at Danni, who stood behind him, as my eyes focused on Zane, his face full of anger and disgust, but I was trying to keep him distracted from Dean, who was trying to get to his brother. My heart raced as I caught the little movements of the older Winchester as he practically crawled towards Sam, who lay unconscious against the wall. Cas was out too, somewhere in the darkness behind the demon. Even Crowley had been tossed somewhere into the blackness but I couldn't see either of them, I was trying to keep the one in front of me from noticing.

This was it, it was just me and Danni, no boys to save our ass, no angel to heal it, just me and the woman who stared at me, waiting on a signal.

"Undo the trap, Alison," he whispered seductively for probably the seventh time, none of them getting the response he wanted. I flipped the handle of the blade around in my hand and shook my head.

"You know I can't do that, sweets," I smiled at him, taunting him. This shouldn't have gone down like this but there was no way to stop it now. I knew what I had to do, and I knew how it had to end but I would be damned if I wasn't taking this bastard with me.

"Then I'm so sorry," he said, giving me just a sad little look before it turned into a sneer, "I'm just going to have to do this!"

I watched as Dean stopped moving as Zane raised a hand, and suddenly Dean was clawing at the invisible fingers that close around his throat. I started to panic, I couldn't lose Dean, I sure as hell couldn't lose Sam, who moaned from the spot that he had landed and my eyes locked on Danni as she finally settled into position.

"Wait!" I snapped and watched the smile return to his face. "Stop, please, don't hurt him. I'll give you what you want."

"Prove it," he grinned and I licked my lips as I stepped closer. I watched as his eyes ran over me, taking in every inch as I crossed over the line of the devil's trap that lay on the floor. Now I was stuck, this was a variation of the one they had used on me but still just as powerful. I stopped just as I came within arm's reach and took a breath. "So, what does that prove?"

"I have to bring it down, because I can't get out of it either. So, I stay in here with you, or blow it open enough for us both to get out, but you have to let them go first before I do that." I bargained and watched as he lowered his hand. Behind me, Dean gasped for air and I let the relief fill me but I knew what was coming next and I braced myself for it. Zane reached out, brushing his fingers over my cheek. "What now?"

"Now you do what I wanted you to from the very beginning," he said softly, almost sweetly, "you stand beside me and rule the world."

"There's just one more thing before I agree to that," I sighed and looked deep into his eyes as I clenched the handle in my fist. I watched as Danni readied the blade behind him.

"And what would that be?" He cooed and I just couldn't help but grin.

"You die," I replied and watched the smile disappear from his face as Danni plunged the blade deep into his back.

The bright white light from somewhere within him grew as his eyes started to flicker, growing brighter as I closed mine against the overpowering brightness and suddenly, I heard a laugh before me, getting my immediate attention and my eyes locked on his. But he couldn't reach the blade in his back, and his angel half was gone.

"Did you really think that would work?" He taunted. "You know you can't kill me, right and in order to take care of the darkness, you have…"

"To sacrifice myself," I whispered and watched Danni's eyes go wide, "I know, I read."

"Are you sure you read it right, because the only blade that can hurt you is sticking out of my back, and I'm pretty positive your little cousin back there, sister, whatever you want to call her isn't going to be able to yank it out and drive it deep enough before I snap her neck." He growled but he also found he was glued to that spot. The blade acted like a trap itself, keeping him locked in place and I let the smile fade from my face.

The time was right, it was now and as I stared into his black eyes, knowing that only the demon remained, I could feel the pull of it in my veins, the reason my body was so in tune with his, because like Sam, his darkness tugged at me, beaconed me.

"I'm not going to need her to do anything of that kind, Zane, and yeah, I read that somewhere too." I said softly as I let the darkness take hold, let the power flash before my eyes and I watched him turn to a smoky red haze, seeing the blood rush through his body, every beat of his heart and I whispered the words out loud, the ones that had been in my head since I placed that small pebble into the muscles of my hand. "Dereliquit me virtus."

I felt the burn in my hand, the way that it shot up through the muscle and I clenched my teeth, having just forsaken my powers, having just told the universe that I was giving them up, and I raised my hand to watch the tattoo disappear in a blaze of red before I turned the handle so that the point faced me. I had to do this at the right time, just when the power was about to disappear because I had to have just enough left to keep him tied to me.

I thought of Dean at that moment, praying to the heavens that the tether had been broken because I didn't need him to feel this. Zane's eyes grew large as he watched the glow in my hand. I was watching him, making sure that this didn't backfire before I had a chance to do what came next.

Gathering everything I had, hoping to God that all the pieces fell in place, I raised the blade up and had it come crashing down on my soft stomach, someplace easy enough for the blade to penetrate without having to keep thrusting it in. I knew it was sharp, that it sliced through most everything with ease, but I didn't realize there wouldn't be any pain as it entered.

I expected agony, I expected to scream out in torture, for it to be worse than the angel and demon blade together, but I felt nothing as I buried it guard deep into my flesh, passing through muscle and soft tissue.

Danni screamed as I pushed deeper and suddenly I felt the flicker of heat inside, my hand coming away from the handle as I looked down. I had seen it more than a dozen times, the way the body reacted to the blades, any of them, the way the insides sparked and sizzled, lit up and let you see the skeleton hiding inside.

As my body released the energy, I kept my eyes locked squarely on Zane's as he stood there in shock. With a smile I watched his fade, and suddenly, he seemed to explode. With that, I yanked the blade from my body, just as If felt my feet leave the floor from the blast.

I hit the concrete harder than I ever thought possible, but I was outside the circle, I had crossed the line and there wasn't any repercussions but when I looked down, pushing myself back against the cabinets the surrounded us as much as possible, my hand automatically went to the gushing hole in my stomach.

I watched my hand cover with blood, the crimson color coated it as I tried to keep my breathing under control, my heart from overworking, but the blinding light that came from where I stood caught my attention, bringing my eyes away from where my life flowed from me.

I stared in shock at the angel that stood behind Zane. Gadreel, in all his glory, eyes blazing at full power, had his arms wrapped around Zane, the hybrid's head hung down, but I knew he wasn't dead, just human. We had destroyed his light, killed off his darkness and the angel's gaze turned to me.

"I will take him from here, him and the blades. They are of no use to you anymore." His voice was commanding.

I wanted to tell him to jump off a bridge with how much use they were to us in the beginning too. I really wanted to tell him where to stick it but he looked at me, reached out a hand and the sudden shock of heat filled me. I clenched my teeth as I looked down at the wound, seeing the glow from the angel's powers deep inside me and soon the blood stopped.

"Alison, remember what I said about the ramifications of your choices." Gadreel scolded and rolled my eyes. What did it matter anyway? The wheels were in motion, and the darkness hadn't completely gone from me, I could still feel it. "This isn't the end."

"It never is," I whispered and watched as the light show began again and slowly I lifted my arm to block the light, but when Gadreel disappeared, when he faded from sight, alone with Zane and both blades, the energy seemed to fade with him, and while I wasn't bleeding anymore, I was still dying inside.

The world started to fade in and out, it became harder to breath, as I tried to look around but couldn't pick up my head. Was I just too tired? Had I just finally given up, but that was when I felt the heat beside me, a hand grip my shirt and a solid body seemed to surround me.

I watched Danni scurry closer as she moved into my line of sight, I watched Cas come too and make his way to sit by my side. Even in the shadows, I watched Crowley stir, but I was fading, and I felt no pain. A hand was on my cheek as I lay against Dean's chest, and he tilted my head up to look me in the eyes.

"Hey, Ali, where are you going?" He whispered, giving me a slight smile. "Stay here, Kid, stay with me." I couldn't say anything as that part of me shut down, I just didn't need to reply, but I couldn't move my hands to do anything as well but I could feel Danni's around them. "Cas, do something."

Dean's pleads were heard as Castiel's hands were on my cheek and I found myself staring at his bright blue eyes. I felt him reach out mentally, felt him touch the very tip of my soul and suddenly he pulled away.

"I'm sorry, Dean, I don't know…" Cas stopped, and I blinked as I saw the emotions in his eyes, real emotions, loss, doubt, pain, and his voice cracked. "I can't find anything wrong, she's just slipping away."

"Can't you fix it?" Dean begged, ignoring or not caring about what Cas had just told him but the angel did nothing, he just shook his head. "SAM! Where's Sam?" I let out a sigh, one that took a bit to come back from, as if I needed a break from my breath to catch my breath, and he looked down at me. "Don't leave, Ali, not without Sam, stay here for Sam."

Sam! Of course, I knew why part of me was missing and as much as I wanted to move, there was nothing I could do but turn my head in the direction that I thought I had seen him in last.

Dean turned me back quickly and pulled me up against him more. His arms around me, one hand going towards the waist of my jeans as he tried to gather me closer, but suddenly his hands were looking for where the blood was coming from. His hands were frantic, moving my shirt out of the way to touch the skin underneath and I wanted to smile, I missed the feeling of his touch against mine and I fought to not close my eyes, not yet, as his fingertips moved over the very spot that the blade had entered.

How do you tell him that there's nothing to look for when you can't even find your own voice?

"What the hell is going on?" Danni questioned, her free hand suddenly on the same spot as Dean's. "I watched her do it! She put it through right here!"

"Sera… Gadreel healed her." Cas spoke up, but his voice was full of confusion. "All her wounds, everything inside is healed, so why is she dying?"

"What?" Dean growled. "She's not dying!" He snapped and screamed again. "SAM!" Glancing down at Cas, his eyes narrowed in frustration. "Go wake him up, Cas!"

I felt Cas leave my side, but whether he went to Sam was another story. My eyes settled on Danni's, watched the pain in her eyes as she stared at me in confusion. I was content, comfortable right where I was in the arms of this man, and with her holding me. For the first time in a long time, I felt no pain, no worry, no anger.

Danni looked up as Crowley made his way over and with a look of strange concern, but not sorrow, on his face, he reached out and ran a hand down my cheek.

"What are you doing, Love?" He whispered but it wasn't like I could answer at least not out loud and I pushed the images at him, knowing he would see, knowing he would get it, and a small smirk road up on his cheek as he remembered my earlier comment, request, actually my order. "Done." Was the only world that came from him and I knew that now he understood why. I let out a sigh, and blinked, something that was hard to come back from. "Don't go yet."

Another order, what was with these people? My legs had gone numb, my arms had fallen to my side and it made me wonder. If Gadreel was involved, if Cas needed help, if it took more than just them to do this, who hadn't I seen yet? What power could cause catastrophic ramifications because so far all I had seen was two angels and a King of Hell and a fat lot of good that one had done.

"Hold on, baby," Dean whispered, pulling me so much closer as I scanned over Danni's face, suddenly wondering why there were tears in her eyes when she looked at me, why was she holding my hand? "SAM!" I heard Dean holler in my ear as my eyes went to the figure that approached from the darkness.

I could see Cas out of the corner of my eyes and he could see the man that came closer, but no one else seemed to notice him. I watched without fear as he knelt down beside me. He looked very familiar, like we had met before and he smiled. His face was very thin and his nose came almost to a point, his hair, the salt and pepper streaked locks were pushed back, as if slicked up and stuck there and he walked with a cane, one that he set down on the floor beside him as he stretched out the black clad arm towards me

He reminded me of an old-time business man, properly dressed, with a gray tie, a black vest, a high-necked white shirt and a black coat and overcoat. Where had I seen him before, why did I know him?

"SAM!" Dean screamed again and finally I felt the large hands of Sam cup my face but my eyes didn't move from the man in front of me. "Ali, come on, fight, Kid!"

"Ali!" Sam whispered softly, trying to grab my attention but the new arrival reached out his hand and the tips of his fingers touched my forehead. I felt my lips part at the feeling of floating and I know I smiled, but I could hear Sam behind him, his face against my cheek as he whispered in my ear. "Ali, come on, come back to me."

It was only moment before I looked up and watched the man's fingers move away, like ET reaching out to Elliot in reverse and he leaned in close, staring me the eyes as he gave me just a little bit of a smile.

"Now, Alison, listen very closely," he whispered and that alone drowned out the sound of the noises that surrounded me, and I felt my heart skip. His words soothed everything, any little pain I felt, any heartbreak was suddenly gone and I felt the tear slide down my face. "Are you listening?" he asked, and all I did was smile. "This is very important, Alison," he smiled, "don't scratch the wall."

He stood, picked the cane up and slowly turned, swinging it in front of him as he stepped without a care in the world and disappeared into the darkness. I watched him go, and slowly the edge of my sight began to cloud, growing darker like an old -time movie. I could hear the cries over the sound of my slowing heartbeat, and I knew I took a deep breath before slowly releasing it, the light fading into the blackness as I let my eyes close.

 _Don't scratch the wall!_

 **Epilogue**

"Sam!" I whispered as my eyes flew open, but then again, did I really say that? The next sound I heard was a deeper voice than my own, something close to my ear and I swallowed as I focused on the clock in front of me. The blurry, red letters read: 8:43.

"Mom," it came again and I did my best to turn over, blinking the sleep from my eyes. "Hey, Mom." I focused in on the teenager that hovered over the empty side of the queen-sized bed and finally got enough of my eyesight to see him clearly. "You awake?"

"M'now, Nick," I mumbled as I turned over so that I could see him better. "What's going on?"

"My Jeep won't start; can I use your car for work?" The blue-eyed young man questioned and I glanced at the clock once more. "I'll come back up in about an hour with the jump box, Ian said I could grab it and then come back with my car but I'm going to be late if I don't go."

"Yeah, keys are down on the hook." I shrugged.

"Cool, thanks," he moved towards the door before he looked at me questioningly. "Hey, Mom, who's Sam?"

I stopped for a moment, maybe I did say the name in my sleep but I just kind of gave him a confused look and shook my head.

"Not sure," I whispered, but for some reason that response bothered me. "Where's your brother and sister?"

"In the kitchen, I think they're making pancakes." He laughed and shook his head, knowing full well that it meant there was going to be one hell of a mess to pick up and he was the lucky one headed out the door. "Love you!"

"Love you too." I replied and watched him book it from the room.

Stretching, I grabbed my sweater from the doorknob, looked at the empty, unmade other half of the bed and rolled my eyes. Following the smell of the coffee brewing, the scent of chocolate chip pancakes, because someone was burning the chocolate, and the sounds of laughter that came from my kitchen, I made my way down the small flight of stairs, hooked a slight left and stepped down to the bottom of the landing before I stopped.

Something drew me to the living room, to the "Supernatural" wall that was my bookshelves and the fanart that graced the walls, but I could see that everything was just as I thought it would be when I woke up, and exactly where I left it waiting for me to sit down and start right where I left off.

Coming through the living room, I smiled as I turned into the kitchen, saw Ari laughing as she scooped up the gooey pancake from her plate and took a small bite, and Joseph giggled back as he rolled his up and dunked it in the syrup. Almost nine and they were still home? I took a deep breath, turned to the fridge to get the creamer out and looked at the drawing on the whiteboard.

There in big black letters was a note that read: Just cause you're on vacation doesn't mean wake your mother!

But that wasn't my handwriting, wasn't Nick's either and I shook my head, why didn't I remember writing that? I closed the fridge and went to move towards the counter when I came face to back with a man hovering over the stove, just to the right of the coffee machine.

He was tall, about six-foot, his disheveled black hair seemed to be all over the place as if he had just woken up and when he turned to me, my favorite mug full of liquid gold, I watched his blue eyes dance as the smile widened across his face.

"Hey, sweetheart, the kids and I were just making breakfast." He stated, and something about his voice, his tone, even the chipper way he spoke was just off. "Thought I'd get you some coffee before I fed you though, these two are going to be on a great sugar high for when their dad comes to get them."

I stopped dead, held the coffee cup in my hand and stared at him. The only thing my mind was saying that moment was "What the hell" but there was only one word that came out of my mouth.

"Cas?"


	67. Dark Hunters: Remembrance

When you think about your past, you don't really picture it as a fantasy, a part of reality that you just can't grip onto. But, what if it's real? I mean, what if you think back on everything you've ever done and slowly the evidence piles up, shows you that your not insane, shows you that the "world" you live in now is just fiction? Would you go searching for it? Those lost memories, those fuzzy details that just didn't make any sense? Would you try and get back what you lost? I did, I had too, because in the end, the truth is all that matters.

Dark Hunters: Remembrance

Copyright 6/2017

Coming through the living room I smiled as I turned into the kitchen and saw Ari laughing as she scooped up the gooey pancake from her plate and took a small bite. Joseph giggled back as he rolled his up and dunked it in the syrup. Almost nine and they were still home? I took a deep breath, turned to the fridge to get the creamer out and looked at the drawing on the whiteboard.

There in big black letters was a note that read: Just cause you're on vacation doesn't mean wake your mother!

But that wasn't my handwriting, wasn't Nick's either and I shook my head, why didn't I remember writing that? I closed the fridge and went to move towards the counter when I came face to back with a man hovering over the stove, just to the right of the coffee machine.

He was tall, about six-foot, his disheveled black hair seemed to be all over the place as if he had just woken up and when he turned to me with my favorite mug full of liquid gold I watched his blue eyes dance as the smile widened across his face.

"Hey, sweetheart, the kids and I were just making breakfast." He stated and something about his voice, his tone, even the chipper way he spoke was just off as he handed me the mug. "Thought I'd get you some coffee before I fed you, though these two are going to be on a great sugar high for when their dad comes to get them."

I stopped dead, held the coffee cup in my hand and stared at him. The only thing my mind was saying that moment was "What the hell", but there was only one word that came out of my mouth.

"Cas?" I blinked and stood there just a little confused. He looked at me a little concerned before he kissed me on the cheek and went back to flip the pancake. I shook my head trying to figure out the haze I was in and I sat down at the table looking over my 15 and 13-year-old. I cleared my throat, listened to them quiet down and smile at me. "You guys got everything ready?"

"Hey, Ma?" Joseph questioned and I glanced up at Cas, who set a plate in front of me. "While we're gone are you and Cas gonna stop at that place in New Hampshire, you know the candy store?"

"Do you want something from it?" I laughed and saw his smile grow. "Just make a list. I'm pretty sure we can find some of it at Chutter's."

"Can I have some too?" Ari laughed, to which I nodded and suddenly the two of them were bolting for a pen and notebook from my writing desk.

I looked over the edge of the coffee cup at the man who sat down across from me and I placed my hand on the table. He smiled, but not fully as he reached across and brushed his fingers over the back of my hand.

"It was rough this morning," he whispered and I rolled my eyes, nodding. "You haven't had a morning like this in months. How are you feeling?"

"Confused, a little, I mean," I glanced around at the house and sighed, but it was more of the shelves that I was staring at, the ones that held everything from the show and I knew that there was something missing. "Nick said I was talking in my sleep."

"Yeah, it's kind of what woke me up," he whispered, as he turned in the direction of the living room where the kids were loudly making a list for candy requests. "You were tossing and turning, something about Sam and Zane again."

"I don't get it. Why them?" I sat back in the seat and let out a breath, "I mean Sam I get, we just rewatched all of season 12, but Zane? Who the hell is Zane?"

"Remember what the doctor said, there will be days, and nights, where the whole world will seem messed up, but Ali," his hand took mine, bringing my eyes instantly to his fingers and the strange feeling that suddenly surrounded it. "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

 _I'll find a way to fix this, I promise._ The words were there the instant Cas whispered it, but it wasn't his voice, it was someone else's. Someone with a deep, gruff presence and dark, dark and dangerous and I shivered from it.

"I know we've talked about it before," I licked my lips before I went on, "but I just wish it would go away. The kids are going to start noticing and it's been months, Cas, months and still I wake up and I'm not sure this is where I belong, like I'm missing something."

"It's the concussion," he whispered and moved over to take the seat that was right next to me, his hand holding tightly onto mine. "When they leave, if you want, we'll go over it again. As many times as you need, Ali, just try to take it easy."

"Okay," I sighed and stood up, moving away from his touch. There was just something about it, something on the edge of not quite right and I needed to get away.

Moving into the living room I looked at the bags that sat on the couch. The kids were off again? Looking back towards the writing desk I noticed the calendar and shook my head. September? When the hell did it become September?

Quickly I turned and headed upstairs, changed my clothes and stepped into the bathroom where I rinsed my face with some warm water. Days like this seemed familiar, but at the same time completely alien and I felt like I had missed something important, like maybe a whole year or something like that, something that I should know about.

Dressed, presentable and finally ready for the day I listened as a car pulled up outside the house and the kids began to scramble downstairs. Taking a deep breath, getting ready to face the ex-husband, I made my way to where the kids were grabbing their bags and the four of us, Cas included, walked out the door. I watched as their father looked over the man that stood on the steps behind me, but I tried to ignore the way he stared as I hugged both of them and gave each a kiss.

"Okay, be good, you have my cell. Call me if you need anything, or call Cas, you have his number in there too, right?" I questioned Joseph as I looked up at him and the 15-year-old nodded. "Most of all, have a great time. It's not often you get to spend two weeks at Disney World."

"Love you," Joseph laughed as he hugged me and I wrapped my arms around him, before turning to Ari, whose hair was, as always, in her face.

"Love you, baby, let me know how the flight goes." I smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Bye." She mumbled, her way of saying _I love you_ as she squeezed me tight.

"You remember the song I taught you to hum when you get nervous."

"Yeah, I remember," she smiled and got into the car, both waved to me as their Dad stepped close.

"You have everything they need in the bag, his stuff is in the front pocket of the blue bag with the medical cards." I shrugged, wondering what he was hanging out for, but he looked me over and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Are you having an off day?" he questioned.

"Is it written on my face or something?" I retorted.

"No, you just look a little pale," he answered before he looked up at Cas. "See you later, Jim."

"Yeah, have a safe flight," Cas replied and I looked at him when he answered to the name of "Jim", but Cas just winked.

My ex looked at me one more time, gave me a quick pat on the shoulder and got in the car. I blew kisses to the kids as he backed out and took off down the street. With a deep breath I turned and moved back to the house where I stopped at the door and looked up at the man before me.

"I think we do need to go over it again." I nodded and watched as he gave me a slight smile, reached out with his hand and placed it on the back of my neck, before he kissed me on the forehead and ushered me inside.

That little kiss, that little peck on the skin flashed me back to strong arms around me, a large hand on my cheek and a possessive kiss pressed against the top of my head and the scent of cigarettes seemed to float in the air. With a deep breath I took it all in before I found my way to the living room and waited.

Cas brought in my coffee cup, reheated and refilled before placing it on the coffee table. He slowly sank down on the couch beside me. His six-foot frame took more space than my five-foot one, but he did his best to make sure we were eye to eye.

"Okay, where to start?" Cas sighed and blinked a few times before drawing in a deep breath and clearing his throat. "Ali, what's my name?"

"Really?" I laughed and shook my head, but it took me a moment to recall just what his name was, because "Cas"? Really? After a second of struggling, I remembered what my ex had called him and I smiled. "James Novak."

"Right," he grinned, apparently very happy that he had gotten that response from me. "Where did we meet?" but this one drew up a complete blank as I couldn't think of a time that I _didn't_ know who he was, so I did the honest thing, I shrugged. "Okay, so this one might be a little easier. Why do you call me Cas?"

"It's a nickname," I replied, but that was honestly all I had and he smiled, reaching out to brush my hair from my shoulders. "It's short for…" what the hell was it short for? Crap! But then it just came up, "Casanova."

"Yeah, that was the first name you called me when we met," he grinned and I watched the blush rise on his face before his blue eyes connected with mine. They were full of love and compassion, but it wasn't the kind that I expected, not the kind that would make him the one to wake up on the unmade side of my bed, not the lover who would wrap his arms around me. No, this was a different kind of love, because I had seen the real kind before and it was intense. "So, it kind of stuck, but you shortened it to Cas instead of calling me Jimmy, or Jim."

"Okay, so that doesn't explain how we met and why I can't remember." Which was really what was frustrating me at the moment. Cas bit down on his bottom lip and he sat back a bit, like he had to get comfortable in order to explain.

"Okay, the best way would probably be to start from the very beginning." And yep, I so didn't like the tone of this one.

"Wait, how many times have you told me this?" I questioned, and watched the frown spread across his lips.

"Eight times," he whispered in response. I stood up at that, placed my hand over my mouth and paced a small circle in the living room before turning back to him, tears clouding my eyes.

"Eight time?" I questioned again and he nodded as I blinked back the emotions, catching my heart. "How many times have the kids heard it?"

"None, Ali," he reassured me. "We take precautions, we make sure they're not in the house when we talk about it. You're a very good mother, Ali, don't doubt that and no matter what, just know that the doctor said this was normal."

"Normal?" I laughed, "Cas, everything seems out of place, how is that normal?"

"If I tell you from the beginning, you'll understand." He gestured to the seat beside him and slowly I made my way back over, but I tucked my feet under me as I sat facing him. The look in his eyes was one of deep pain and I watched him take in a deep breath. "Do you remember April? Your trip to Oklahoma?"

"Of course, I do." I whispered and thought about the moments during the trip, but everything seemed blurry, like I was just catching an edge of it. "Wait," I paused and closed my eyes, "I don't remember it clearly."

"Because, Ali, it never happened."

I think I stopped breathing. I'm pretty sure that I stopped breathing for at least a few seconds as the words registered in my head and I swallowed back a cry.

"What?" I asked softly, trying to catch my words. "I clearly remember the rental car, the phone calls with Danni, stopping at the hotel in London…" I rambled but that was when things started to get a little fuzzy, and I stared at him, "Cas, what the hell?"

"Ali, I need you to take a deep breath," he took hold of my hands, tightening his fingers gently around them as he moved closer, almost cornering me and for some reason, that little movement had my heart racing, my fight or flight rising.

"Cas, you're scaring me," I didn't want to admit it, but the man was making me all sorts of nervous. What was he going to tell me? And was I really prepared to hear it for the ninth time?

"There's nothing to be scared about, sweetheart, trust me," and I did, I did trust him, even if the feeling was a little off, a little strange. "Do you? Trust me, I mean?" He must have seen my uncertainty, but I nodded and watched as his body tensed up, ready to let out the story he was holding in. "On the night of April 14th, approximately 8:43 in the evening, as you pulled out of the hotel parking lot in the vicinity of West Jefferson, Ohio, you turned left to make your way to a Waffle House restaurant. We know this for a fact, because you had checked in with Danni to let her know you were leaving and where you were going, per the rules you had established about checking in. You were driving alone, had just finished the first eleven hours of your trip and according to your text you were ready for dinner. You never made it to the diner."

"What?" I blinked, I know I did, but what I got was a flash of a man, a rugged man with a bruise on his jaw, a small scar on his cheek, who looked at me as he held up his cup, his green eyes locking on mine. In the next flash I saw another man, taller with darker hair that hung in his face and his blue-green eyes just captured me. I shook it off and focused on Cas, whose brow had furrowed and the grip on my hand tightened. "But I remember…"

And the Impala, no, that wasn't right, the men, no that couldn't be… the sound of the engine…

"They're not memories, Ali," he whispered, and the sound of the engine faded into the back of my mind. "As you were going through the light, the Waffle House to the left, a semi came off the ramp, it wasn't able to stop and you were in its path."

"Jesus," I closed my eyes tightly, trying to fill in the blanks, but all I saw was the tall one with the beautiful eyes at the soda machine, the smile on his face when he knocked on my door but it darkened as Cas continued to talk.

"They Life-Flighted you to Columbus and you were there for a week locked down in a medicated coma until the swelling in your brain went down." His voice was distant, like in a movie where the narrator was just talking along. "You were in surgery for internal bleeding several times in the next twenty-four hours and they finally had you stabilized sometime around seven the next night."

All I could see was me sitting at the table at Fred and Reds, of seeing Danni walk into the room, the way she looked around and I watched her come towards me, wrap her arms around me and I sighed, strangely safe in the memory.

"Danni?" I questioned and watched as Cas gave me a little frown before he just shook his head.

"She came to see you that night, she was there with your family when they were able to let visitors in." I wiped the tears that fell from my eyes and I shook my head. At least Danni was real in this whole thing, but I couldn't help but feel something else was missing too. "Her husband passed away later that week, Ali."

This got my attention as I flashed back to meeting him, sitting across the table from him as we ate dinner and the curious observation of the cats having gone missing. There was something in the way he looked at me, something like he was trying to get a good read on my emotions, my thoughts, but I shrugged it off as we continued to eat.

"What happened next?" I snapped, shaking myself from the strange visions and I took in a deep breath. "Cas, when I woke up, what happened next?"

"You woke up a week later, you were disorientated, you were violent and you were afraid." At least he was being forthright, which was what I really needed and I stood up again, grabbed the coffee and took a sip. So maybe we had gone over this eight times before, but apparently it didn't get any easier for him to tell it because I could see the toll it was taking on him. "You were transferred here after a while, when they knew you were stable enough to be moved and you spent a month and a half in rehab."

"Why?" I questioned and turned to stare at him.

"You needed help," he whispered and licked his lips. "Your mind was caught in a fantasy world that you created in the coma and you were stuck there. The rehab helped to make you see what was reality and what wasn't, but you relapsed."

"So, I woke up insane, got better and suddenly I was insane again?" I laughed and shook out the thoughts. "What were they? The fantasies? What were they?"

"You had convinced yourself that you were saved by Sam and Dean Winchester, that they had protected you through the week from vampires and when you got out, or home, you had sent Sam to keep Danni and Dean safe."

"That would explain why he wasn't here with me if I had loved him so much." I laughed, but watched the strange expression crossed Cas' face at my words. He didn't respond, but his lips tightened as I glared at him. "So, I was trapped in Supernatural, my own little world for a month and a half?"

"In and out, yes." He replied, but it was blunt like he knew somehow he messed something up. "You were able to function without issue, the kids were taken care of, you even went to work, but sometime around the 13th of June, you slipped back in."

"How? Why?" Not sure if he could answer any of it as I paced. "Why would I have needed to go back into a world that I had finally escaped from?"

"We don't know," he shrugged and I looked at the wall of collectable items, the pictures, the pop heads and I bit down on my lip. "What we do know is that it wasn't a pleasant trip. You woke up from it and by woke up I mean you kind of came back to reality a little darker. Whatever you were experiencing changed you just a bit."

"What about Danni?" I whispered, not prepared for the sadness that filled his eyes, "where is she?"

"After everything that happened that week, your accident, her husband, it was hard for her to keep up, especially when you were stuck in that world." He took a deep breath as I paused to look out the back patio. "She backed off and after the June incident, she disappeared."

"What do you mean disappeared?"

"She changed her number, rented out her place and basically became invisible. You can't find her on social media at all and you've tried, Ali, believe me, you've tried."

I glanced over at the writing desk and shook my head. "And you? How did we meet, since that's the one thing I can't seem to remember?"

I watched him take a breath, prepare himself for whatever was going to come next and his voice came out as a soft whisper. "I was the EMT that pulled you from the car."

"Okay," I smiled, "let me get this straight. You were an EMT in Ohio that pulled me from a wrecked car and now you're sleeping in my bed?" I laughed a little and shook my head, "But apparently, I've been stuck in an episode of Supernatural for a few months and you've had to repeat this same God-awful story to me nine times now? Why are you sticking around?"

"You ask me that every time," he gave me a growl and suddenly I saw him in a different light. He was in a suit, sitting across from me on a bed as I sat in some grungy motel room. His blue eyes locked on me, a stoic look on his face and I knew I had seen him somewhere else before, but when I twirled around as if searching for something on my walls, some sort of clue, I got nothing.

"And how do you answer?" I stopped, staring right at him as he rose from the couch and came to me. I stood my ground, but wanting to flinch as my visions flashed between this Cas approaching and the man in my dreams mimicking every move until his hands were on my shoulders.

In my mind, his face was full of determination and I watched his lips move, the one here and the one in my mind and in a raspy voice. I heard him say: _stay with Sam and Dean, keep them close, don't go into this without them._ I shook off the haze and looked at the man that stood before me with worry.

"Where did you go?" He's voice full of concern.

"How did you answer?" I repeated, shaking off the vision. Sam and Dean, which Sam and Dean? The Winchesters? Maybe I was insane.

"I couldn't leave you, in fact, I never left your side." He replied, which still didn't give me an answer as to why. "When you were on the ground, when we finally had you out of the car and onto the backboard, you opened your eyes, just for a second but they locked on mine, Ali, and you whispered something that I would never forget. You called me an "angel of the lord", Ali, an angel. I was just doing my job but that stuck with me and I stuck with you. I couldn't let you go."

"And you stayed and what, moved in?" I laughed, letting the feel of his fingers wash over me. Maybe he was an angel, maybe he wasn't but for some reason, I knew I was safe.

"No, actually, I'm not even living here," he grinned. "I have an apartment down the road and you gave me your key. I knew the kids were leaving today and you and I have plans to head towards Old Orchard Beach in Maine tomorrow, so I stayed overnight."

"So, we met at the accident, where did the nickname come from?" I questioned and I watched the grin cross his face.

"It was a few days before you went home. I asked for a transfer, I moved all my stuff and I met you at the hospital up here. I had visited every day while you were in Ohio. I couldn't let you be there alone, even with Danni and your parents there." He shrugged and rubbed my arms, before his fingers found the skin of my neck and he caressed that one spot, his thumbs gliding over it and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain. Not bad, but as if there might have been a bruise there once. "When I walked in, after you were settled, because they needed to keep you at Wing for a few days before letting you go home, I was holding flowers, you looked up at me and smiled like I had just brought the sun and said…"

"Look at you, Casanova," I whispered and bit down on my lip. I had remembered, right down to the detail of the flowers and the fact of what happened next. "I started sneezing," I laughed and looked up into his eyes as I reached up and touched his cheek. "You brought Stargazer Lilies."

"I didn't know you were allergic," he grinned and shook his head.

I took a deep breath, understood everything that I was told, but there was so much that I didn't remember, so much that I couldn't grasp and I stood up on my tiptoes, kissing him softly on the lips, a gesture that got me a strange, little look. A look that I wouldn't have expected from him, not if we were five months deep into some sort of relationship. It was as if he weren't expecting it, but just like the other strange look he gave me, I stashed it away in my mind.

"What about my kids?" I whispered, backing down, because a new man and all of this chaos, how were they coping with it?

"Stronger than you'll ever know." I closed my eyes as his forehead rested against mine and I let my body relax as he pulled me into an embrace.

It was strange, the sensation of being held by him, it was as if I were surrounded not just by his arms but by a blanket of warmth and security, something like being folded into the safety of an angel's wings.


	68. DH Remembrance - 2

**Chapter 2**

Cas left me alone to finish packing, cleaning the house and preparing for the trip north. Two weeks in Maine sounded like an interesting get away, but I wasn't sure that after that morning I was ready for any get away. Hell, I couldn't get away from my own thoughts.

Looking around the house I wasn't even sure where to start. So, grabbing the broom I headed towards the living room. The laptop was open, Twitter was on but that was the least of my worries. I had spent more than a few hours searching for Danni to find nothing and no mention of her in any case, not in the group chat we had picked up, not on a timeline. Hell, I even used a few different ways to locate her account and all of it came up the same way… nothing.

Her other social media accounts were gone as well and if it weren't for the fact that some of the girls had mentioned her a while back, well from what I could find when I searched through the group chat, I would have thought I was hallucinating the whole thing, all the calls, all the video chats, everything. As it was, I myself hadn't been on in a while. The last thing I had posted was nearly a week ago on the timeline and that had to do with the upcoming premiere of Season 13.

I tapped on the table twice before I grabbed my cellphone and pulled up Carol's contact information. I would assume I at least had _some_ contact with the woman, but I didn't get my hopes up. With a deep breath I sent out a text, asking if this was still her phone and within seconds, my ringtone was blaring next to me.

I swiped it up, put it on speaker and swallowed. "Carol?"

"Ali, are you okay?" She questioned quickly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I just thought I would check in," but I was sure she missed the sigh of relief that escaped my lips. "Sorry it's been a while, right?"

"Al, it's been a week." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, okay so totally not what I was expecting. "You're having one of those days again, aren't you?"

"Ah, yeah, I guess," I slumped back in the chair and rubbed my forehead. "I probably asked you this a million times since June, but, have you heard from Danni?"

"Still radio silence, and it's okay, you know, to ask me as many times as you need. I know when Jimmy called to tell me how you were that the repetitive questions might happen." She seemed a little down and I couldn't help but feel guilty. "So, again, are you okay?"

"A little disorientated but doing okay, I guess," I tried to smile, "but enough about me, how are you?"

The switch in subject seemed to help the fact that I now felt like a complete ass for going straight to the Danni question but we chatted for about an hour before her husband came home and we said our goodbyes.

"You know if you need anything, all you need to do is call." She reassured me and by then I was feeling a little more sane.

"Thanks, Carol. Be good."

"Yeah, I'll try my best." She laughed. "Love you!"

"Love you too." I replied and listened to the phone disconnect. As much as that made me feel better to know I wasn't completely insane, the fact that Danni was still radio silent, even from Carol, seemed to bother me. I needed to do something, anything to get my mind off of it, and I looked around the room with purpose.

I swept the floor almost robotically, not thinking of anything until I bumped into the barstool that was placed against the sliding door so the cat could look out. It wasn't the stool that got me but the fact that bumping into that knocked me against the shelves, which in turn knocked the Charlie Pop figure from its spot behind me and it came crashing down on my head.

Grumbling under my breath I picked her up, looked over the vinyl figure with the red hair and earphone and thought back to that introduction of Charlie dancing in the elevator, but what it flashed to made my heart thump as the words matched with the scene I pictured.

" _We're done…Dean! I'm not Charlie, I'm not the little sister you never wanted, I don't need your protection and I don't need you up my ass"". I saw him sitting on the grass, slightly downhill from me, the gun I had taken apart sitting between his legs as he rubbed the spot where I had just punched him. "So, don't follow me, keep Sammy safe, but leave me the hell alone."_

I shook myself out of the vision, looked down at Charlie one more time and set her back on the shelf, running my fingers down the other two figures she was next to, one of Dean and one of Sam. As I stared at these two, I got nothing. Oddly enough, that was when I started moving things around. Six four-foot sections of my living room wall were built-in cabinets, four of them were stuffed with Supernatural things and It all seemed unorganized.

I removed, cleaned and put back as much of it as I thought looked good in the space, at least for the first few shelves before I realized why they looked stuffed. They were, with so much more than I realized. I had things behind things that I never knew I had. Cards that people had given me from the hospital, notes of love and well wishes from those girls that had become my family and I had to step back.

Had this really happened? Had I been in an accident and not remembered it? Cas told me every detail, the cards and stuff should prove it, but I was still shaking my head.

The second shelf, where Charlie had fallen from, consisted of the pops. A good ten of them, but also board games and little homemade things, like vials of "holy water", matches and salt that you could put on a necklace. Little arts and crafts that I'm not sure I did or the kids had picked up and then there was the black velvet wrapped trinket that I just had to touch.

It was heavy, less than 8 inches long and solid, so when I unwrapped it I wasn't expecting to be holding a miniature angel blade in my hand. I looked it over, the sides and tip were dull and I smiled at the replica, but the more I twisted it in my hand the more I got this feeling that I was missing something. Looking over the rest of the trinkets and collectables I realized this was the only thing that didn't add up.

Crowley, the King of Hell Pop, sat next to Sam, Dean and Bobby, but I swear there was another one that had graced the shelf. The cover to the board game had the same four, but that was what got me, I was looking at a season nine cover. What was I missing?

I took everything off the shelf, even dug under it to get the book that was there, one that had pictures from every season in it. No matter what I looked at, something was wrong, out of place and I was certain of it, but after three hours of tearing it apart I finally decided I needed to put it back together and try another way.

Frustrated and needing a break I grabbed a water from the fridge and stood back to look at the unholy mess I created, still twirling the blade in my hand. Ghost, one of the small cats that occupied the house with us….wait, who was I kidding, she nearly ran the place, jumped up on the third shelf and I quickly stood to catch whatever it was that she was tempted to knock off, which were all books at the time and just as I reached her, the blade left on the couch, two books hit the floor.

"Ghost!" I growled and pulled her down, like scolding a cat was going to do any good, but still, it was a normal thing to talk to an animal that wouldn't talk back. Shaking my head as the little terror ran in the opposite direction I bent down to snatch the books from the shelf, one was an old paperback of different lore from around the world and the other was a small leather-bound journal. Just as I scooped the journal of the floor, a small blue SD card popped out and hit my foot.

Okay, not much was unusual about the card except all the ones I owned were black and a specific brand, why? Because I always bought them in bulk. I always found myself needing one and not being able to find the one I had been using so it was grab and go with another. Very last shelves, closest to the kitchen, there were four black ones alone.

Curious as to what was on this one I moved towards the laptop swiping the blade from the couch as I walked by. Glancing at the clock I realized that I had about another hour before Cas came back from his shift at the fire department and that gave me just enough time to clean up and maybe check out what was on this drive.

The computer flashed on, I typed in the password, happy that with everything going on it hadn't changed and I took a deep breath. Slipping the card in I watched as it read the files before automatically popping up in photos. The first picture there was a mint 1967 Chevy Impala, sitting in front of the Lawrence, Kansas city limit sign.

Okay, maybe not all that weird, I mean, somewhat weird, right? With a shaky hand I hit the next button and my eyes nearly popped out of my head as I stared at what seemed to be the never ending photos of Danni and I. DANNI! Who I had been searching the internet for, who I had been trying to call, who had all but disappeared… who I had NEVER met in person, was standing there with me next to an IMPALA in LAWRENCE!

My heart raced as I continued to look, past the officers, the ones in blue that gave me the creeps, to the way that I shot the camera, pictures of Danni in the front seat as I sat in the back, as we moved onto the Airport Motel and that was when I stopped.

 _I kind of took some liberties and photographed you and your cowboys over there while you were all near the car._ Megan's voice echoed in my mind as I looked at the photo.

It was a strange angle, giving me the full profile of me resting against the car with a man who towered over me by a good foot or more. He was looking down at me and I could see the small scar on his left cheek. I couldn't tell his actual emotion as he did, because his face was full of one thing, but his body, at least his arm, straight down to his toes was pressed against mine.

Across the way was Danni, her arms crossed as she watched whatever conversation was going on between the two of us that stood against the car. Her face also a mix of emotions, but it was the one standing beside her, that dwarfed her in the way of height, that caught my attention. I zoomed into the photo, my heart thumped hard against my ribs, almost causing pain, but I swallowed back the emotions as I reached out a finger to trace of the wisps of hair that came down to cover his eyes as he stood tall and proud.

"Sam," the word slipped from my mouth and I blinked back the tears as I smiled at the way he looked at me. He was _looking_ at _me_! Suddenly my world seemed to fade, to flow into that vision as I was suddenly standing right in that spot, staring right at that man in living, breathing color.

" _Okay, so with Megan working on things, I think we should discuss what's going on next." I spoke up, clearing my throat as Sam stood to the left of me, his own hands digging deep into his front pockets and while Danni seemed relaxed, she tried to look everywhere but the spot where Dean and I stood connected. No matter what little inch I gave, he stepped closer and I knew I wasn't getting away. "Stull? thoughts?"_

" _Bad idea," Dean spoke up beside me which immediately got Danni's attention. His voice was deep and authoritative, kind of like the big brother I never wanted and I glanced up at him. "Look, Stull's reputation aside, that place is bad news for everyone involved. Things tend to follow you home when you even get close to the grounds."_

Stull? We were planning on going to Stull? Crap what the hell did I just stumble onto? But then again, this was _Dean_? The real Dean? And where did the scar come from. Pushing away from the desk I moved over and flipped on the printer, stuffed a few pieces of photo paper in it and went back to the laptop.

There were other photos. Me chasing Dean, Sam with his hand on my cheek… Sam with his hand anywhere on me… why did that bring up so many more emotions than I thought it was going to?

Printing as many pictures as I could while flipping through the rest I heard the truck pull up outside and glanced over at the mess I had made. I snatched the SD card from the drive, took the photos out of the printer and slipped those and the angel blade into the drawer.

I heard the truck door slam shut, another open with a squeak and I was taken back to the way that Dean and Sam had gotten out of the car at Fred and Reds with Danni and I standing under the parking lot light, the doors to the Impala protesting against being opened.

I shook my head, moved towards the shelves and did my best to look busy when Cas opened the door and stuck his head in.

"Ali?" His voice sang over me as I moved boxes around and I took a deep breath before he stepped into the room. "Hey?" he stated a little shocked. When I turned and looked at him his eyes going over the whole shelf fiasco before me. "Redecorating?"

"Uh, I was looking for something and then I just kinda started changing stuff around," I searched his face as I said this hoping that I might catch one of those unusual reactions, but he just nodded and placed his backpack down on the couch before he stepped closer to me, his hands reaching out to rest on the curve of my neck.

"You look tired, are you feeling okay?" His voice was full of concern, but his eyes flickered from mine to the shelves behind me and I had to wonder what was going on in his head. "You know when things happen, when what happened this morning happens, sometimes it takes a toll on you."

"Everything's been taking a toll lately, Cas," I replied, gave him a half-grin and slipped past him, letting his hands fall from my face. My thoughts went back on the way Sam's had felt against mine and I sighed, pivoting to stare at the muscles of his back as he continued to look over the shelves. "Are you home for lunch?"

"Yeah," he whispered as he came around to me, took my hand in his and lead me to the kitchen where he started to make something to eat as I sat at the table with a fresh brewed mug of coffee in hand.

As I followed his movements, the way he looked down at the plate on the counter, used both hands to create the sandwich before him, I could almost see him in a tee-shirt and jeans, standing beside Sam, still dwarfed by the taller Winchester, adding ingredients to a bowl as he reached for a jar and a smell hit me, from out of the blue, something so rancid that I felt like I was gagging.

"Ali!" Cas questioned, but in my mind the vision went on.

"What the hell is that?"

" _Troll," Cas replied and I looked at him as if to say he was insane._

" _Troll? Like the Billy Goats Gruff kind of troll?"_ I replied, but I know, I just know that I said it out loud, because when I was able to focus I saw the man at the counter looking at me.

"Troll?" He laughed, "um, no, it's vinaigrette." Cas smiled and sprinkled more on his sandwich before he sighed, sliced it and slowly put the knife down, before walking over to me. I watched as he squatted down and placed his hands on my knees. "Ali, I think this is worse than before. What trolls are you talking about?"

"Nothing, it was just something that I heard somewhere." I shrugged, trying to play it off but he just shook his head.

"What is it with you Porter women?" He grinned and I looked at him questioningly. "Your daughter is just like you, stubborn and pigheaded." I smiled at him and thought of Ari. Yep, she certainly was just like her mother. "Listen, when I go back to work, don't play around with the shelves. We'll fix them when I get back, just go and rest. I've never seen this as bad as it is this time."

"It's not bad, Cas, they're just memories, or visions," I whispered and reached out, brushing his cheek. "I'll be fine. Maybe I'll just write them down. I mean, it usually helps to get rid of things if I write it down."

"It does?" The look on his face made me question my own response, but I know that there was no way THAT part of me was gone. I gave him a little smirk, wondering what exactly he meant by it and shook my head. "I hardly ever see you writing."

"Well, it used to. I mean, I used to keep a journal of stuff somewhere around here. I just have to remember where." I laughed, "You know, secret hiding spot, so secret that you can't find it yourself. Safest way to keep things safe."

"Okay," he smiled and went to stand, catching me on the forehead with a kiss and why did that still feel so weird. Cas kissing me at all, touching me like that, it just felt, I don't know… off, like it really wasn't his thing but he was trying too hard.

Cas moved over to sit next to me at the table and started chowing down on the sandwich. I couldn't help but smile because he just reminded me of someone, at a Chinese place, plate full and digging in like someone was going to steal it. With that scene came another one, of "Sam" and a plate before him, reluctant to eat as he looked around and I could feel my hand rest on his thigh, giving him just the right encouragement to go ahead and dig in before his blue-green eyes smiled.

"There has to be a different way to get ahold of Danni," I whispered and let the feel of her arms around me when we were standing at the dinner in Joplin surround me. I missed her, I missed the text conversations, the phone calls and I realized that I didn't even know where my phone was. "Cas," I whispered, checking around the table, "where's my phone?"

"Your cell?" He replied, which of course was a stupid question because, duh, I knew where the house phone was. He looked around the room, then back at me confused as his brows came together. "You didn't bring it down with you?"

"Is there ever a time that I wouldn't bring my phone down with me?" I laughed and watched him get up from the table. "Cas, sit down and eat, you don't have to go looking for it."

"It's okay," he replied back after flying up the stairs. I looked at his sandwich, caught a whiff of the vinaigrette and sat back, pushing the plate further away.

"Ugh, troll!" I growled and watched as he came back down, the phone in hand. "Where did you find it?"

"Fell between the bed and the nightstand but you turned it off and I mean completely off when the 5:30 alarm went off this morning." He laughed, handing it to me. I smiled, taking it from him as I pushed the power on button. "As for Danni, I don't know, I think you just about tried everything that you could to track down where she was. I mean, the last I heard, she doesn't stay in places very long. She's traveling with a clinic."

"A clinic?" I questioned, which threw me off because the first thought I had about her and anything to do with knives was her swinging a machete at the head of a vampire. "So she's a traveling Vet Tech now, cool."

"You'll find her." His hand came down on mine and he rubbed the back of my hand with his fingers, trying to be reassuring, "It will just take time and she'll come around, but Angel, you have to get these vision under control. Maybe we should go see Doug today."

"Who?" I whispered and the frown was on his lips in an instant. "Oh, sorry, Doug," I had no clue as to who he was. "I'll, ah give him a call when you're all set with lunch. I'm sure he can fit me in today and then I'll call Nick and have him bring my car home."

"Yeah, I thought he was going to jump his Jeep and swap cars," Cas shrugged, finished his sandwich, washed his hands and grabbed his bag before leaning down to kiss me.

"Dude, don't think about kissing me when you smell like troll." I laughed and watched him smirk before he landed one on my forehead and quickly disappeared out the door, not a single hint of a goodbye. My nose crinkled at the smell of the stupid dressing and I rushed upstairs to wash my forehead, hoping to get rid of it.

Nick came home shortly after Cas left, jumping his Jeep and exchanging keys before he was out the door again, but that left me with the shelf task and myself. Taking a moment to stand in the middle of the living room, completely ignoring the mess, I looked down the hallway towards the front door.

Would it be weird to say that house felt like it was boxed in? Sealed? Because that was exactly what it felt like and I watched the steps through the large, open, glass door. I should go outside, should step out into the beautiful fall air and just enjoy it, but for some reason the thought of going past that door made me shake.

It was just a door, right? Nothing fantastic about it, nothing unusual, but as I stared, as the sun reflected off the windshield of the HHR right into the door, I squinted my eyes. The light danced along the walls, giving off the impression that there was something in the paint, something on the walls that you couldn't see unless it hit it just right.

I moved past the kitchen, placing the coffee cup down as I stopped just past the opening to the room and watched the sunlight tickle the spot just above the light switch. With a shaky hand I moved, watching my finger trace the outline of the paint that was just a little bit different than the color of the wall.

As I traced it several times, over and over in the same direction, I licked the dryness from my lips, because suddenly I was nervous... suddenly, I wasn't so sure that I was really seeing what I thought I was. The symbol was now almost fully visible to me, like I could see the outline of it without any problem. It was Eihwaz, a rune of defense and protection. What the hell was it doing on my wall and how the hell did I know that?

I turned to the other side moving the door out of the way, but just as I did the refraction of light through the prism glass in the door made other symbols start to shimmer. I swallowed hard, blinked a few times and shook my head.

"What the hell?" This wasn't a vision and I wasn't seeing these things. They were truly there, but to the naked eye, without the help of the light that seemed to bounce off from the sun, no one would have ever noticed that they were there.

Not unless…

I raced up to Joseph's room and rummaged through his closest. The boy had gone through a phase of wanting to be a CSI so he had everything, fingerprint kits, camera, flashes and most of all, a black light. Pulling it from where it was stashed in the long-forgotten spot in the corner of the shelf I flipped it on and hoped that the batteries still worked. The room lit up like a blue Christmas tree and I smiled.

Moving back down to the hallway I found the only problem with the black light was that there was no way it was going to work with the sun shining through. Placing it on the table I grabbed the tape and a roll of shop towels, because you know every mother loves a kid who brings home reusable, disposable, thick blue shop towels. I lined the glass with it, taped them up, like I was getting ready to paint, sealing out the light and suddenly I was standing in the darkness, proud of my own work.

I closed the door to the second bathroom keeping out just about everything and took a deep breath. Clicking on the light right next to my leg I slowly brought it up to the wall where I had seen the first symbol and took in a deep breath. That breath was quickly caught as the wall lit up with every kind of rune and protection spell known to man. What was worse is that I could pick out each one and name it.

My heart raced as I swept the thing down the hall, even over the door to the basement which made me stop and look at it. There were three symbols painted there, a Men of letters Aquarian star, the anti-possession symbol from Supernatural and the last one, the one that made me shake was a circle with what looked like an "A" inside of it and the number three in Roman numerals below. I reached out and traced it with my fingers, shaking as I did so, before I backed away and shook my head, continuing down around to the closest. Nothing there, which struck me as odd but as I swept past the kitchen, I came to the symbols that were hiding behind the door

Symbols of protection for my children, even the largest one stood out, a pagan one that I knew from somewhere else but I couldn't place it. My head spun as the vision came to me, a woman with bright red eyes, bending over to look at me and she smiled, _smiled_!

 _No harm shall come to you from this night forward._ I rubbed my head, felt myself step back as I tried to catch my breath, the tears running down my face, as everything seemed to rush at me. Memories from my childhood, of my grandmother, of… of a freaking vampire? Really?

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, tried as hard as I could to see the screen as I wiped away the tears and shook my head. I fumbled to find the number. Was it listed under Cas, or Jim, was it really his number or what the hell was going on?

Finally, I gave up. I put my head back against the wall and tossed the phone on the floor. The contacts in the phone were scarce, barely anyone but family and Cas and that in itself wasn't right. As I sat there, trying to catch my breath, my heart and my emotions I opened my eyes to look up where the black light still shined on the ceiling.

There, above the door, right as you walked in, painted in white and shimmering like every other symbol in the room was a pentacle. A star encased in a circle with five symbols, one drawn into each space. Enochian symbols and even that little bit of information, that small piece of knowledge got me nothing but a flutter of my heart. How the hell did I know Enochian? Wait, what was Enochian to begin with and what the hell was going on here?

But then I got it, after staring at it for what felt like forever, I knew just what the hell was painted on my ceiling, what the things were that were on my doors and walls and either I was going bat shit crazy like Cas was hinting at, or…

"No… freaking… way!" I whispered, my eyes locked on the Devil's Trap that protected my home.

It was real!


	69. DH Remembrance - 3

**Chapter 3**

It took longer than I liked for the feeling in my chest to calm down, the tightness to go away, but as I stared up at that devil's trap… freaking A! It was called a devil's trap! As I stared up at it I couldn't help but think back, because I would be damned if these things were just products of my imagination now, these were memories.

" _Sam," I smiled, "te rogamus, audi nos."_

" _You're right," he said and let his shoulders relax as he held his hand out for the gun, "you're Latin is just as good as you're Enochian." I narrowed my eyes at him and gave a little shake before I placed the grip in his palm._

" _How do you even know what my Enochian sounds like?" I grumbled as a tight smile formed across his lips._

" _Well, you said you know it as well as you know your Latin and honestly, it could use some work."_

One, where the hell did I get a gun and two, that man was beautiful, why couldn't I remember more about him. All I kept getting was that I could see the love in his eyes, definitely more love than Cas had in his for as long as we apparently had been together, and the way he smiled at me, the way he gave just that little bit of a grin as I spoke to him. Yeah there was something about Sam that I needed, something that I needed very badly.

The only other thing was, this particular vision didn't tell me what the hell I was talking about, but apparently I knew Enochian as well as I knew Latin and right at the moment I didn't know that either. Collecting myself I finally moved away from the wall and turned off the black light, but the symbols on my basement door made me curious once again.

Grabbing the phone, the light and a soda from the fridge I made my way down, popping the lights on as I went. The basement was just like any other, open space for most of it and a closed in room without a door tucked in the corner. I let my feet take me to where I needed to go, because apparently it knew better than I did what was going on and I found myself stopping just in front of the doorsill.

In my head I could see it happening, reaching out with a hand, touching a spot on the door and triggering the lock as I smiled. Yeah, this wasn't always open.

When I stepped inside, one foot over the threshold, what I saw with my eyes didn't match the image in my head. What was in there was a couch, a large screen tv, a coffee table, the pool table and a dart board. What was in my head was a folding table, four chairs, nowhere near sturdy enough to be part of anything rough and tumble, a small counter with a coffee pot and a small fridge on it. What got me however were the walls. Where in reality it was covered with gaming posters, movie posters and holes where the darts had missed, in my memories, it was three walls of research, a family tree and lines of yarn, like the police use to connect it all.

When I looked up, when I focused on the back wall, I saw Cas' back to me dressed in a white button down and dark blue pants. He turned to look at me, loosening his tie as he went and I saw that look on his face, a look I knew oh so well, but that was completely different from the one that was just upstairs with me. This Cas, the one in my memories was without a doubt very real and he looked up at me, a stoic look on his face, before his blue eyes settled on me.

" _You realize that Sam is right upstairs, right?" I questioned, stepping up to him. We couldn't have been more than two feet apart, keeping our voices low as he looked down at me with hardened blue eyes, an angry look on his face. "And what the hell, Cas, you let them go to Virginia?"_

Virginia? What the hell was in Virginia and in my dream the man moved away, silently. The vision of the blue-eyed man faded and I began to see the room in another light, another memory as I took in a deep breath and let that one step be my guide.

As I moved through the room, both there and in my head, I could make out every piece of paper, everything that was written and posted on the wall and I followed it all the way around until I came to the end where there was a picture of Danni and I, together at the Impala, standing right at her front bumper, smiling like the little shits we were, but that wasn't all, everything that was on there came down to one thing.

A bloodline!

According to everything I looked at Danni and I were related. Our lineage went back hundreds of years and came full circle somewhere in the past five generations, but my children weren't part of it, they weren't apart of anything going on.

When I turned I saw Danni standing there, looking me over and then I saw the man again, just to her right and the voice, my voice spoke up as I looked back at my sister in wonder _, "you called Cas?"_

" _He was the fastest means of transportation and I think he's going to be a great help," she shrugged and looked over at him. My eyes landed on the angel, who had pulled out a seat and was looking up at us as innocent as possible._

Angel? My thoughts had called him an angel? Cas… Castiel? Holy Hell, his name was Castiel and he was an angel!

My feet did the running for me, wanting nothing more to get up from the basement but that was when I hit the mess in the living room and my heart did flops, freaking flip flops as I looked over the mess that was there. I knew what was missing! I knew the one thing that was off about the whole total disaster of a job.

"Cas," I whispered and sat down on the couch.

Images flew at me, voices in my head telling me to swing, swing hard, to not leave the Winchesters, to keep fighting, don't give in. These were the voices I had been hearing for the last few months, since before I left for Oklahoma the first time and this was the one that I knew now. He was in and out of my home, he was eating lunch at my table. He was cooking breakfast with my kids and he was a freaking _angel_?

Nick had come home for about an hour after work, just enough time to grab his stuff and pack up for a few days at his girlfriend's house. Knowing that Cas and I were headed to Maine he had made plans to spend some of the two weeks with her and some of it at home, in between shifts at the garage. I was proud of him and he was happy that I finally had someone in my life that was helping me with something, anything. That was why I didn't tell him anything about what I had _remembered_ , because yes I was sure they were memories now, but I did have one question.

"Hey, Nicky?" I whispered as I stood in his doorway, watching him stuff some clean clothes into a duffel and he looked up at me with a smile. "What happened to the door on the rec room in the basement?"

"Huh?" He questioned, confused and stood up straight as he pondered over it for a minute before he shrugged. "I don't remember there ever being a door on the basement room."

"How long has it been there?" Nick's eyes narrowed as he searched my face.

"Are you having flashbacks again, Mom?" His voice was steady and it made me think that maybe he had been present for more than one of my meltdowns. I kind of gave him a shrug, not sure that I wanted to really answer him, but I saw the look on his face and he gave me a little smile as if these were questions that he had heard several times before. "Um, we put it up right after you got home from Ohio. Jim thought that with you being in the living room more that it would be better if we were in the basement instead of up there with you, kind of like a place to go so you could have some peace."

"Wow, did you guys build it?" I grinned as I sat down and watched him stuff toiletries in the bag, but he stopped and looked at me.

"No, it was already done by the time we got back home." He seemed puzzled by the sudden thought of not knowing who built the room and I nodded. "So why are you curious about the room? You've never asked about it before."

"I went down there today and I noticed behind your posters that there were a lot of tack holes in the wall, thought it might have been that you guys just redecorated a lot of times." I smiled and he reached out to take my hand. "Don't worry, Bud, I'm okay, just having an off day."

"I'm not sure that you and Jim should leave if that's the case. What if something happens in Maine and your doctor isn't available?" I could see the concern and it was almost heartbreaking. I turned to him on the bed, took both of his hands in mine and took a deep breath.

"Listen, Nick, I'm going to be fine, please don't worry," I begged, touching his cheek gently. "Actually, I'm looking forward to getting away and spending time with Cas. I'll be a phone call away if you need me."

"I know you will, it's just…" he paused and then smiled, keeping the rest of the sentence to himself. "Have a great time, okay, have a blast. Go on ghost hunts and walk through the cemeteries like you used to. I wanna see you back on your feet, I miss you."

"I miss you too, Bud, and I'll be back to normal soon, I swear." I stood and kissed him on the forehead before I moved out to the door, but I stopped and turned to him, watching him sit on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees and suddenly he reminded me of Dean. "Hey, I got a really weird one for you, Supernatural trivia time."

"Okay," he smiled and sat up, "go for it."

"What season did Castiel make an appearance on the show?" I watched his face drop, but his eyes told me he was trying to remember.

"Castiel?" The name rolled off his tongue as if it were something foreign and he shook his head. "Was he a demon?"

"Nope, an angel." And that was when it happened, Nick just shrugged.

"Mom, they've never had angels on the show before." He said softly and I pretended to be shocked. "Where did you get the name from?"

"Someone in the chat had asked the same question, which episode, I thought maybe I was misreading it, but I guess I wasn't." I played it off the best I could. "I told her the same thing, that I was pretty sure there were no angels on the show. Anyway, smartass, go finish getting ready. I have a living room to clean up before we leave in the morning."

"Love you," he whispered and I winked at him.

"Love you too. Make sure to interrupt before you leave," I tapped the door twice and walked out of the room, heading down towards the living room where I had stashed the angel blade. Holding the miniature replica in my hand I took a deep breath and glanced over the pop figures on the corner shelf. It made sense now why something was missing, why there seemed to be one character shy, because if Sam and Dean were real and Cas had been standing in my living room earlier, there was no way he wanted me to know exactly who he resembled. "Castiel."

When Cas came home I was sitting on the couch. The wall had been put back together and all the memorabilia were in place, but I was seeing it differently and was twirling the angel blade in my hand. He walked in with a smile, one that seemed off now that I knew who the hell I was looking at and listened as he set his bag on the steps to the second floor before stepping into the room.

"Hey," he whispered as he kissed me on the forehead, but the instant he saw the chrome plated thing in my hand he slowly sank down into the recliner across from me, his face filled with worry. "What do… what do ya got there?"

"An angel blade." I replied, looking down at it and took a deep breath.

"An angel… what's an angel blade?" He asked softly, but I could see the acknowledgement in the way that he looked at it. "Ali, where did you get that?"

"You told me that I made this stuff up," I sighed and shook my head. "You said I dreamed up everything from the moment the truck hit me in Ohio, but there are things that don't make sense, things that don't add up, I mean right here in this house."

"What things?" he sat forwards in his seat, took a deep breath and stared at me.

"Not going to tell you," I moved to meet him, to close the distance which wasn't much, but he was definitely now eye-level to me. "Tell me the truth, Cas. What happened, why can't I remember everything?"

"Because you were hit by a semi that was coming off the ramp at fifty miles an hour, Ali, we had to get the jaws of life to cut you from the car, you had to be airlifted to the nearest trauma center. You don't remember everything, because you were unconscious." He was trying to make a point, trying really hard, but that was when I saw it. _Jim_ faded from existence, and _Cas_ … no not Cas, _Castiel_ , remained. His voice got lower, gravelly almost, as if he had been using it for too long. His eyes took on this way about them that made the world turn black and white and he stared at me, unblinking. "You don't seem to understand what you're doing."

"I know perfectly well what I'm doing, Castiel!" I snapped and watched as he sat back from the name. That was it, that little movement on his part told me it all. I was right. "What the hell is going on?"

"Ali, this is dangerous." he said softly as if there might be someone around listening and I watched as he seemed to search the house, but there was no one inside and he knew it. "It's been months, but we're still surrounded."

"By what?" I stood up and moved over to the shelf, grabbing the small leather-bound journal from it, the one that had spit out the first of my clues, before I tossed it at him. "By everything in there?"

"What's this?" He sighed softly and unwrapped the cord that kept it shut. I watched his eyes as he flipped through it, looked at the pictures, took in the writing and his lips grew tight as he frowned. The journal, _my_ journal was open to a page with the devil's trap drawing on it and Enochian writing in thick black pen. "Where did you get this?"

"Right on the shelf," I whispered and sat down, "with other stuff that I think you hid for me to find, stuff from the other _eight_ times you tried to convince me that this," and I tapped the book, "wasn't real."

"I could explain, but the ramifications of you knowing, Ali, those could be catastrophic," he took a breath and closed the journal, wrapping it with the cord before he handed it back to me. "But, I'm going to assume that if you know this much, you know most of what happened."

Honestly, I didn't know much about anything except that Danni was gone, Sam and Dean were real, that I had spent a week in April running from a vampire and that something really bad had happened in Virginia the week of my "second" relapse into the supernatural world.

"Why don't you explain them anyway?" I whispered and he looked at me, just looked with no expression. "Don't go kicking yourself in the ass, Cas, just because I remembered doesn't mean you failed in whatever little mission you set out to accomplish."

"Unfortunately it does," he stood from the chair and began to pace the living room. I watched as he stripped off the light shirt he was wearing, getting rid of the EMT work shirt for the town as he placed it over the chair and I was suddenly taken back to the room where he had been loosening his tie. "If you remember, that means the mission you put me on has failed."

"I put you on?" I whispered, which made him stop.

"You don't remember all of it yet, do you?"

"I remember enough, Cas," I stood and made my way to the open sliding door letting the breeze wash over me through the screen as I stared out into the woods behind my fenced in yard.

"No," he gave me this ominous look, "you obviously don't or you would do the same thing you did the last eight times. You would make me erase it again, start the day over, forget that we ever had this conversation."

"That isn't going to to happen," I laughed and watched his eye got to the book in my hand.

"I don't believe it will this time, too many variables have changed." He looked up into my eyes and waited for me to say something, anything.

"I need to find Danni," I whispered and he nodded. "I need to find Sam and Dean."

"They won't remember you." he stated pointedly.

"Of course they won't, because if I never made it to the Waffle House. It means that Sam never made it to me, which means Dean never had to protect me, which in turn means Danni went through everything alone." I answered, getting angry at myself, because if I truly caused this to happen, than I was the one that pushed Danni away in the very beginning. "But that doesn't mean I don't have to find them."

"What would you gain by finding Sam and Dean again, having to explain this?" He looked around the room.

"So they really are back to square one? No clue about the show, no clue that someone else is living their life on television?" I laughed and flashed back to the part where Dean was staring at Danni's tablet, watching a con video before I snatched it away from him. "They really don't need to know that part again."

"They really don't need to know you again." Cas growled and suddenly I got the sense that there was something missing, that he was being overly protective about one particular aspect of everything.

"You never confronted them, did you?" His eyes went to the floor before he looked back at me and his brows creased in anger. "In this screwed up timeline, Dean is still pissed at you for Charlie and you haven't gone back to them. Cas, John's dead! Go make amends." I had said it! I had said it out loud and I felt my stomach drop, suddenly looking at him in shock. Cas' lips parted, he let out a breath as he looked anywhere but at me and I shook my head. "That's why you're here with me? Because John's dead and you don't have to watch over him anymore, because the demon is gone, because…" I paused, watching the acknowledgement creep up on his face. "Because I killed him."

Not only were his eyes locked on mine, but his hands were on my shoulders before I could blink and he was staring me down with love and concern as I shook my head and the memories flooded in.

" _Let me go, Ali," he whispered and I could feel the tug at my heart, closing my eyes tightly to let it all sink in. "I just want to sleep."_

 _I opened my eyes, fingers wrapped around the mimosa/cedar handle of the blade and blinked back the tears. John gave me a slight smile, moved his hand to rest behind my neck and kissed me tenderly on the forehead._

 _I heard him slowly let out a breath as if relief had finally come to him and with that I thrust it forward. My breath caught as the blade slipped easily through clothing, flesh and past bone, lodging deep in his heart and I could hear John gasps._

Shaking myself from the memory I closed my eyes, blocked out the memories and let my mind fill with a void that silenced the voices. When I finally could breathe again I looked at Cas and shook my head, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Are you sure you'll want to be near them when they remember that part?" Cas questioned which made me look at him in anger. He was jealous, if an angel could get that way, but was he jealous because of what I wanted to do, which was chase Sam and Dean or was he jealous because he knew they would understand what I had to do more than they understood him leaving Charlie?

"Sam and Dean won't hurt me." I reassured him and watched the small smile on his face.

"Don't be so sure, Ali," Cas snapped and I could almost see Jimmy coming through again. "This is not your Sam and Dean, not the ones you remember. In their minds you've never met. Five months have past and things have happened. Their father died. What could you possibly tell them that would make them understand that you are not a threat, that you are someone they loved."

"That's it, isn't Cas?" I smiled and shook my head. "That's the real reason you don't want me to go, because you know I could make them remember… everything and it hurts you to think that maybe, just maybe, Dean wouldn't be as pissed at me and Sam would welcome me back with open arms. Well, guess what, as much as I want to find those boys, I have to find Danni too! If you think this hasn't been a cakewalk for them, imagine what she's going through."

Cas didn't say anything, in fact, I was kind of glad his mouth stayed shut, because I was liable to punch him if he even mumbled something under his breath. Was I thankful that he had taken care of me these last few months, hell yes, but to find out through a promise that I made him keep that he had erased all of this eight different times, and for what end. Was there really something catastrophic going to happen if he had to change the memories of four people?

I walked over and placed my hand on his arm, looking up into the blue eyes that stared me down. "I have to find Danni, Cas. If this is something that she truly believes is real, then she's been living it for so long without anyone, without Wayne. I have to find her. I owe her that much. She needs to know she's not alone."

"Fine," he answered, and that was it. He didn't say anything else, he didn't reply to anything else, he just stared.

"One more thing," I whispered before I stepped back. "Where's my bag?"

Cas pulled his pick-up in front of the two-story, rundown building and I smiled. This I remembered, but I didn't know why it was such a strong presence in my head until I found myself standing on the sidewalk before it. The Ware Gun Shop still needed a good paint job, it still had that stupid plywood sign that needed to be updated, but I could feel the energy coming off from it. I could see the way that it seemed to stand out. Definitely a place full of magic.

Taking a breath I glanced at Cas, who was now in jeans and a tee-shirt, a light black jacket over the top of it and a scowl on his face. I grinned, flashed a vision of Sam standing there looking at it with trepidation and that in itself almost made me laugh. I looked for cars, before grabbing the angel by the sleeve and we crossed the street up to the front door.

The bell dinged, letting the man inside know we were there and suddenly I watched as he stepped behind the counter. A bearded man with thin wired glasses and a biker vest over his dingy white tee-shirt stepped out from behind a curtain that covered the back room and suddenly he stopped. I watched his eyes grow wide as he looked at me, then up at Cas before he cleared his throat.

"Can I, ah, help you, young lady?" His gruff voice was just as I remembered and I couldn't shake the smile that crossed my lips.

I stepped up to the counter, placed my arms on the glass, crossing them in front of me and I just continued to grin at him because I knew how much he hated it. He moved over to stand directly across from me, he clicked his tongue and shook his head.

"You look a little short to be a hunter," he whispered softly and then winked before he looked up at Cas once more. "I thought you said last time was going to be the last time your feathered ass stepped foot in my shop, Castiel."

"Things didn't go as planned." Cas replied from out of sight as he ventured around the shop.

"Uh-huh," Jones sighed, locking his sights on me. "Hey, Angel."

"Hey, Jones," I sighed, why was he so easy to remember? Why did I care? He came around the counter and embraced me in such a bear hug that I just wanted to melt into him. Old enough to be my father he was certainly the protector and I loved him for it, but there was something specific that I came here for and I needed to know about it.

"Well, it ain't Sunday and you ain't off to church so, what brings you in?"

"My bag," I smiled, stepping back from him as his eyes filled with worry, a look that he shot in Cas' direction but let it fall back on me. "I know, it's different this time."

"You've never asked for the bag, Ali," he replied, making his way behind the counter as he released me. "Cas, what's going on?"

"I believe that the spell has worn off," Cas replied as he stepped up to the counter.

"It's freaking Enochian! How the hell does Angel mojo wear off?" I turned to Cas, wanting to ask the same question, but the angel rolled his eyes, stuffed his hands in the pocket of his coat and shook his head. Jones gave him a sour look as if he was majorly disappointed that he had to do this _again_ , but he took my hand and kissed the back of it before he released me and looked over at the angel. "Lock the door, put up the sign, this might take all afternoon."

The backroom was just like any other backroom that you could think of, but the guns and ammo that graced the shelves back there were protected by lit, tempered glass cabinets, all with special locks that only Jones had access to. That however, wasn't what we were back there for.

Moving slightly past the last shelf on the left Jones reached out and pushed on the fake wall letting the panel pop open to reveal a set of stairs that lead into the darkness. Glancing at me he gave me a wink before heading down, with Cas following closely behind me.

It was just like a normal basement filled with smells that you wished you never stumbled on again, but this one also had a small spot for indoor growing and it wasn't pot that he was cultivating. This man had every herb known to man that he could get his hands on growing in that basement. He also had shelves of dried and jarred items that I didn't care to know about as we walked past to the back of the room where a newly erected wall stood.

He glanced back to make sure we were all on the same page and he reached out, drew a familiar symbol on the wall and pressed with his thumb. The wall clicked again and a small door opened, one that you would have never known was there if he hadn't triggered the release. I took a deep breath, looked around the doorsill at the runes burned into the wood and slowly stepped through.

The lights were on a timer, set to automatically turn on when someone entered the room. When I stopped beside Jones everything was lit up and I caught my breath as I swallowed hard, because on the wall the spanned the entire length of the back of the basement was every piece of research that had graced my own little secret room. Everything was there and in order, exactly like I remembered it.

"Cas called me ahead of time, before the solstice, and I removed everything. Anything that would remind you of him, of your life, of your research with the Winchesters." He whispered as I stepped forward, moving slowly as I took in the fact that even all of the paraphernalia from Supernatural that had to do with Cas was lovingly placed on a shelf and I turned back, staring at them with unasked questions, but I watched Jones take an emotional breath. "Welcome home."


	70. Dark Hunters: Remembrance -4

**Chapter 4**

I stared in disbelief of everything that I was looking at, right down to the last piece of paper that I remember from my visions. A simple piece of old parchment that described two blades, two very unique and powerful ones that only Danni and I could use. That much I knew was true, but it was the symbol at the bottom of the page that made me look back at that door.

An "A" with a circle around it and the roman numeral for 3 at the bottom of the letter, a powerful blood magic that had sealed away this room and I unconsciously found myself rubbing the palm of my hand, just under my right thumb. It was then that I noticed the feeling of a small ball deep in the meat of it, and the harder I pressed, the warmer it got.

I shook my hand and moved towards the wall, just taking it all in before I turned to Cas. "What the hell did I make you do?"

"Listen, Angel, don't kick yourself, there really wasn't any other way," Jones spoke up, coming at me with raised hands as Cas stared at me with just the stoic look I was beginning to remember again, but I wasn't paying any mind to the man, just the feathered one before me. "Cas was just doing what he was told and honestly, it was the best… the only way to stop things."

"By making me forget?" I snapped, finally getting to my breaking point and I turned to him, fuming. "You made Dean, Sam and Danni forget everything! ME! You made the boys forget me! How is that for the best? And Danni, how is her being alone in all of this better or the only way! She should have at least had Dean."

"But without you, they wouldn't have met." Cas spoke up.

"That's bull crap and you know it, Cas!" I snapped and took a deep breath."The universe has a way of making things come around, right, like how you intervened with the vampire. Sam had a vision and I was supposed to die that night, but I didn't because you were there in my head and he was there in my room! Intervention, the universe and all that crap! Dean could still have been there for Danni through all of this." I paused for a second, thinking about Danni and everything I knew to be true and all that had happened in her mind. "Tell me he didn't still die because he was a demon!" but the look in Cas' eyes told me everything. "He was still possessed because they were still after her."

"Yes, but for a different purpose." Cas whispered.

"A different purpose?" I laughed and walked straight up to him. Pulling back my anger did nothing for him and I swung, slapping him hard across the face. "Different purpose or not, Castiel, you should have done something to stop it! You knew, you had all the information and Danni needed you. What happened to her being the light, the one that you answered to? The one _she_ called on?"

"Ali, I…" Cas started and I watched his hands clench.

"I swear to God, if you say you had to put me first, I will cut off your wings and tie you to a flag pole." I growled and watched his eyes. Okay, so it wasn't much of a threat, but what the hell can you threaten an angel with? "Danni shouldn't have had to do that, not to Wayne. We knew Juliette was there before I even left on Friday, all the signs were there. Wayne was possessed by the time I left that morning, way before my "accident", Cas, in plenty of time to stop something, anything from happening."

"Ali, please," Jones whispered and I looked at him shaking my head.

"I'm done," I replied, knowing what he was going to say next. "I'm done arguing the fact because I know more than ever what I need to do, catastrophic ramifications be damned!" I turned my eyes back to Cas. "I need to find my sister."

"Then you might need this," Jones whispered as he pulled the tan backpack from the corner and set it on the table in the middle of the room.

Unzipping it, he flipped it open to reveal everything inside and as I stepped up to it the only thing I reached for was the handle of the spectrum blade that sat locked tightly in its spot. With a shaky breath I pulled it from the sheath and looked it over, taking in the way the light reflected off the blade and I smiled, feeling the power that flowed through it.

"Well, hello badass!" I said softly.

Visions hit me just as I twirled it in my hand, ones of swinging it through, feeling it connect with the vampire before me as I stood shocked to see my first one in decades. The way the dull, orange shine from the backlot spot light hit it when I took on three more that attacked at a rest stop between Joplin and Danni's house. Everything that had ever happened with the blade came back at me like wave and suddenly I was standing at the hotel door having a conversation with Crowley. The smug bastard was grinning at me as if I had just won the lottery and he was there to collect the taxes.

 _He moved towards the front of the car and leaned back on the grill. "I see all your cracks have been sealed in that beautiful noggin of yours."_

" _No thanks to you," I snapped and leaned against the doorsill, leaving it open in case Sam woke up. But then again, I was pretty sure he had woken up the moment I moved on the bed. He was just lying in wait to see what happened next. "Way to be helpful, by the way, lure me into a devil's trap, get me stuck and then pop off like you don't need to explain exactly how I'm your girl?"_

" _You've been my girl for as long as you can remember, Angel, your grandmother made that pact." Crowley answered and gave me a crooked grin. "Or did that pretty little hybrid fry your noodle that much already that you've forgotten all about that?"_

" _I swear to…" I paused and caught my breath, "what are you doing here?"_

" _I just came to check and make sure they finished the job," he pushed away from the car and stepped closer to me. My grip on the spectrum tightened, but he stopped just out of knifepoint reach and glanced down at the blade. "I'll have to tell Jones that he did quite the job on the blade. If you intended it for me, sorry to disappoint you Love, but you'd never have gotten it past the leather, but since most demons can't see the rune work, he must have known you and I would have some sort of exchange while it was still in your possession."_

I turned to Jones, to the indifference in his eyes and sighed. This probably happened exactly the same way before, but I held up the knife to show him.

"Crowley?" I questioned, but watched the shock on his face. Okay, new question and not one asked at least eight times. Jones let out a breath and kind of gave me a kicked puppy look. "You've worked with Crowley? In what aspect?" This caught Cas' attention and he also looked at the older man curiously, but Jones only stepped forward, stretched out his hand and gave me a moment to place the blade's handle in it. "What did you do with it?"

"The spectrum has all the spell work in it you need to kill a demon, hell to kill just about everything, except a hybrid," Jones whispered and looked up from the rainbow blade to me as he shook his head. "It was the only way to keep you absolutely safe. I knew he had his minions surrounding your house, that your kids were being watched by them, but I also knew you. I _know_ you, those kids come first, so I went to him for the rune work. He pulled some strings when he knew it was for you. He got it done, because he owed me."

"A crossroad's demon, the current king of hell and he _owed_ you?" I smiled and rubbed the corner of my eye, "Please tell me you're joking! What could you have possibly done to make Crowley owe you anything? He makes contracts for a living!"

"Yeah, but you know what they say?"

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions?" I guessed.

"Fool me once," he answered and walked over to the cabinet in the corner. He pulled out a book, a pretty thick one and for a second I thought I recognized it, but my memories seemed to fade out once again. That was when I knew it had something to do with my past. "Your grandmother owned this. It was part of her coven." He placed the book on the table and opened it up. I stepped closer, slowly recognizing the handwriting that covered the old parchment pages and I clenched my hands together. Jones had set the spectrum back in its sheath before moving so I knew just where the blade was. "When she died, Crowley came to collect and he picked up this little jewel."

"My grandmother's grimoire?" I slowly reached out to caress the page and I felt my heart skip with the power that flowed through it, but I realized something else at that moment. I knew everything that was written in it. "Okay, so I could tell you this book front to back, it's what Crowley gave me when the pact was made. Kind of a book of shadows locked in my skull, so why was this so important to him after she died?"

"Because she didn't stop writing in it just because Crowley _Total Recall_ ed what you already knew. Your bloodline was born of magic, no matter how insane it came to be, you were still one of the chosen ones and it was all locked away in there, but like I said, it didn't mean you were all knowing and that she stopped writing." Jones slid the book closer, took the pages and flipped them towards the back. The pen looked new, the words darker and I recognized some of the Latin written there. "You see, Granny Goodwitch decided that you needed all the information you could get your little hands on after the ceremony, after she figured out what she had done, so she started collecting it."

"Jesus, these are spells right out of the _Malleus Maleficarum_ ," I whispered and ran my fingers over the pages. "How the hell would she get access to the Witch's Hammer? I'm pretty sure it's stashed away like the Book of the Damned?"

"The book of what?" Jones questioned and moved over to the coffee machine, _my_ coffee machine, to start a pot before we continued. I pulled out a chair and sat down, reading over everything that was written there. "So, anyway, if Crowley had it, it means that your Gram was able to find something that might hurt him or cause the whole demon population some serious casualties. I found out about it years ago, when your dad used to live in town."

This made me look up at him and I watched as he raised an eyebrow. "You knew my dad?"

"Honey, I'm the same age as your daddy." He laughed and shook his head. "We used to hang out together. He was a good guy, but I was a hunter and there was a reason for befriending him that had nothing to do with the fact that he could keep my car running. Once he married your mom, once you and your sister were born, something in him changed though and I think it was about the time that he found out about just what your Gram and Danni's were up to."

"You think my dad knew Gram was a witch?" He pulled out a chair and sat down beside me.

"Yeah, and so did your ma," I think my head was about to spin because in all the research there was nothing about this. "1974, the spring after your sister was born, John Winchester rolled into town in that God-awful piece of machinery. Now, don't get me wrong, I love a good classic car, but that Impala stuck out like a sore thumb. He was on the case for something. Something bad, at least he thought and Mary, well she was at home doing her own thing. The Campbells and the Winchesters separately were formidable hunters, but together, a family line like that would make some of the world's best if trained right. So, John, he was strolling through this case like it was a piece of cake, except where it concerned your dad. See he was very protective of your mom, very protective."

"Kind of like Sam?" I smiled.

"How about Dean taken to a Sam level?" and that comparison make me sit back with an "oh" written across my face. Dean's need for contact and Sam's dark, protective side, yeah, together that could be lethal. "Anyway, John managed to get himself in a corner. Nothing unusual for him, except he could usually find his way out. This time, he couldn't and your dad showed up to save his ass."

"Wait, my dad was hunting?" I asked very shocked, but Jones just shook his head.

"No, your dad was what John _was_ hunting."

"But, my father would never use magic. In fact, it took me years to get him to even admit he could sense when something was wrong with people after I freaked out!" I shook my head, Jones moved again, grabbed a couple cups from the counter and must have offered one up to Cas because the angel shook his head. After a moment of listening to things move around behind me, Jones set the mug down next to my right hand, away from the book and took his place beside me.

"As I was saying, your daddy was what John was hunting or at least he thought. Things went sideways. John got the jump on a different coven or more to the point, the coven got the jump on John and your dad came in to save him, but the deal was, John stayed away from your Gram and her girls."

"Did he?" I took a sip of the hot liquid before asking him again, "Did John stay away?"

"For the most part," Jones took a deep breath. "He came back in the area about May of 75', the year you were born and he sat down and explained to your dad everything he had found on the blades, on the family line, but your dad wanted nothing to do with it. John caught a case, said he had to roll out. By then he and Mary had gotten hitched and, well, it wouldn't be long before Dean was on his way, but John never gave up trying to convince your dad that when you were born you needed to be protected."

"He still didn't believe him," I said softly as my fingers went over the page. "Never even told me that he knew John."

"Wouldn't have mattered, Winchester was gone before you were born. Not that he wanted to leave," I looked up at him, at the sorrow on his face, but he cleared his throat and gave me a half grin. "John loved your dad, like a brother, loved your ma too but man, he was excited to see you. He stayed here for a while after you were born. Never made it to the hospital, never stopped by to see you when you got home, but your dad would bring you by. You and your sister. She was a bouncy one, that girl, but you were as quiet as a mouse, never cried."

"Never cried," I whispered and something about those words stuck in my head, like I had heard it described someone else as a baby before, but I couldn't place it. Jones placed his hand on mine, bringing me back to the room and I watched him eye me over.

"John saw you a couple times from right here in this shop. He wouldn't come out, didn't want to make his presence known and it made me wonder what kind of falling out he and your dad had, but man did he want to dote over you." Jones smiled and I looked up at Cas.

"So, John's letter, the one you brought me in Virginia?" I asked Cas, who gave me a tight-lipped nod, before I turned back to Jones, "You gave Cas that letter and John left it with you? In your care?"

"Things between me and your daddy went south too, Angel, especially after things at home started to take a turn. Your Grandpa didn't like what your Gram was doing, had enough actually and that was it, things were rocky. He kind of blocked himself off, decided to severe ties, make it safer for you, because as you grew he knew you were different and that John was right. That was when they packed you up, after your brother was born, and moved you north, away from here, away from the magic."

"That didn't take, now did it?" I stated sarcastically. "Dad still met with Gram, still brought us to see Danni's family, still ended up in the damn river on a night that we should have all drowned and John… he still was there protecting, even if he didn't know it."

"He knew it," Jones sighed and my eyes locked on his as he continued. "Stopped by here after it happened, told me about the dog that Dean saw, the way you fought and having to pull your parents out. He was watching over you, just like he had promised your daddy he would do."

"But he could have stayed. He could have explained what the hell he was doing before he jumped in the car and took Sam and Dean with him, leaving me on the damn shore." I growled and shook my head. "If John could have done more, he should have."

"No Sweets, by then John was on a mission of his own. He was chasing the demon that killed Mary, trying to save his own boys and protect them. That encounter, that one little kind act of a boy putting a towel around you, that sealed fate between you and Dean, but it didn't mean John was sticking around for an encore with Sammy."

"What the hell do you mean, sealed my fate with Dean?" I snapped and watched as he shook his head and tapped on the book.

"It's all in there, everything that you need to know. I'm sure it's why Crowley took it. Anyway, back to the reason for it. Like I said about Crowley, fool me once. He actually came in handy one time, catching a rogue hellhound. Not his precious Juliette, no that little beast was right by his side, but this one, she was on a killing spree that made the world's bloodiest showdown look like a school house play." Jones smiled as if it were a fond memory. "We took care of it as much as you could and thought it was over, but the demon caught eyes on you."

"Wait, when was this?" I questioned and shook my head, "Besides the fire, I never remember meeting Crowley."

"You were six months at the most, you wouldn't have remembered him. Your dad came in here, kinda caught me with the bastard, had you in his arms and that was it. Never pictured the King of Hell one for sweet little things like you, but he took to you like a moth." Jones shook his head. "Your dad knew what he was, crossroads at the time, he also knew the case and understood why Crowley was there, but there's a reason this place is pretty saturated with wardings right now."

"So when Crowley said I had always been his girl?"

"He wasn't kidding," Jones replied, his voice filled with sorrow. "Crowley knew what you were, who you were and the things you were meant to do, so along with John Winchester's God-awful version of protection, you also had Crowley's."

"Tell me he didn't give me his blood." I growled and watched as Jones took a sip of the coffee before he smacked his lips together in an annoying sound.

"Nope, just kissed your head and mumbled something in Latin. I couldn't make it out from as far back as I was. Then he handed you back to your daddy, nice and gentle like, before he looked between us, gave us a "goodbye boys" and poof, he was gone."

My head was spinning. So much information was just whirling around in my head that I was having a hard time concentrating on the book in front of me. I slammed it shut and rubbed my eyes. Now I knew why John had written that letter, why he had sent along those papers and now I got why Crowley thought of me as his girl, but that connection to Dean, that sealed fate, that was one more question in my never-ending list of what could possibly pop up next.

"I have to find Dean!" I growled and looked over at the men in the room. "I have to find them all and fix this."

"You sure that's a good idea, Angel? I mean, after everything I just told you?" My eyes locked on his and I shook my head.

"None of this is a good idea," I sighed and stood, "but I need to get going. I plan on leaving first thing in the morning."

"Well you aren't taking that thing you call a car out there, you'll stick out like a sore thumb." Jones laughed and stood. Curious what he was getting at I stuffed the book into the bag and zipped it up, before following him out of the hidden room and up the cellar stairs. He unlatched the door and I found myself staring at the crowded lot that was his yard. I had ever even seen a driveway to get back there, but at least four cars were lined up, all in rough shape, a few in worse condition than the others and I shook my head. "No, Kid, I'm not sending you out with one of these."

"Okay, cause you said sore thumb like my HHR was something ugly and I'm pretty sure she wasn't going to be all that happy about it." I grinned and watched him shake his head as we passed a few old Pontiacs and one really old Oldsmobile, but when he opened the garage, or something that resembled a garage, I found the place to be in pristine shape, like he had said screw the shop, this was what he was spending all his time on.

The shape of the car was familiar, but I don't think I had ever seen Jones drive anything but the deathtrap of a pick-up that he had parked out front, so when he turned on the light and pulled back the car cover I couldn't help but whistle.

Wow… just wow because this thing could give the Impala a run for her money.

The light illuminated the Plum Crazy Purple paintjob of the 1970 Pontiac GTO, with the thick black racing stripe that came down over the hood scoop all the way back to the tail end, that had been hiding under the cover. She was immaculate, not a scratch on her and he tossed me the keys. There was enough room to move around the car without touching anything, for her doors to open without bumping into something and I unlocked the driver's side door, pulled it open and inside, the black interior looked as if it had never been touched, except to wipe it down because there wasn't even a speck of dust anywhere on it.

"Jesus, Jones, she's beautiful." I whispered, stuck the key in the ignition and listened to her rumble to life. Oh, how I loved that sound. It reminded me of Baby and I smiled, running my hands over the steering wheel.

"She ought to be, your daddy worked hard on her." He answered, making me whip my head around to look at him. I killed the engine, slipped out from behind the wheel and made my way around the car before stopping at him. "This is the one he helped me with, and when you were born, after everything that Crowley and John had told me, I knew she had to be yours."

"Wait, what?" I said softly and watched as he gestured for the keys. Handing them over, he popped the hatch and I watched as he reached down to the floorboard. Standing back, he pulled it open and why didn't it shock me that there was no spare there. "It's a hunter's car?"

"She's the very best there is. Ram Air III, zero to sixty in six point six," Jones laughed, "three-sixty-six for horsepower, though knowing your dad, that's all changed and she's got something a hell of a lot more powerful running under there, that's what she started off at. Even changed her color, she was a mint blue color but man do I love the purple, makes her kind of badass, hides her well too." I was still awestruck by the trunk and all the little gadgets in there. It had definitely been updated, salt rounds, holy water, stakes, strange blades that graced the lid, and everything that most hunters couldn't or would never bother to look for. "Changed out the transmission though, went from manual to automatic, that took some work but it's the only major changed. Figured you would know how to drive both but auto is so much easier when you're outracing a ghost truck with some heavy vengeful spirit action."

He slipped behind the wheel as I closed the hatch and listened to her start up once more. Jones rolled her out of the garage, let her idle for just a bit before he handed me the keys again.

"She'll keep you safe, Angel, trust me when I say this." I took the bag and tossed it in the backseat, smiling at the black interior once again. He braced me by the shoulders, making me stand up straight to look him in the eyes as he sighed. "It ain't going to come back easy, and it ain't going to be pretty, but you'll find those Winchesters, and you'll get Danni back, but you have to be careful, I mean really careful."

"I get it," I mumbled and watched as he shook his head.

"Start at London, get up there, take a look around, see what you can remember but then I want you to go over to Summerford, Ohio," he reached into his wallet and pulled out more than a thousand dollars in hundreds, before stashing them down in my front pocket, "there's a roadhouse there, kind of a waystation for hunters. I want you to look for Jo, she'll take care of you. Might even know where your missing men are, or will know someone who does."

"How will I know I'm in the right spot?" I laughed but his eyes told me that I would definitely figure it out when I got there.

"You be safe," he sighed. "Don't worry about the HHR, I'll take care of her."

"We brought my truck." Cas spoke up and for a moment, I had forgotten he was there. Jones glanced as him and nodded, before setting is sights on me again.

"Bring your journal, everything you need to know is in it, and dammit, I can't stress enough to watch your six."

"I got it, Mike, I'm not a kid, and this isn't my first road trip." I smiled and attempted to step back, but he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly.

"Don't tell your father I gave you the car, he'll have my balls!" The older man mumbled in my ear before he stepped back laughing and finally let me go. "Get out of here, and you let me know when you get there, and what's going on because anything you need, I can get you."

"I love you too, Jones." I replied, smiled and slipped behind the wheel again. I closed the door, listened to the silence inside the car, nothing but the purr of the engine and with that, I put the GTO in gear and moved slowly through the lot, around the side of the building where the driveway connected to the neighbors and swung it out to the road.

Cas looked at me as I put the bags in the backseat of the car, didn't say anything, just watched until I was able to take a second to look at him. Reaching out, I grabbed ahold of the shirt he was wearing and pulled him close, connecting our bodies as he wrapped his arms around my waist, strange for the angel, but not so much for the Jim inside.

"Thank you, Cas." I whispered and listened to him sigh, but the stoic look on his face told me he was less than impressed with this plan.

"I can't come with you, but I will help." He replied and I nodded, because I didn't want him coming with me anyway, there was too much to do and so much of it had to be on my own. "I'll try to locate Danni for you, Sam and Dean should be easy to find with what Jones shared with you."

"I know you were just trying to keep me safe, Cas, doing what I asked, but this time, I can't go back to not knowing."

"I don't think that option is there anyway, there are too many variables that have changed since the last time, too many questions that were never asked before." He touched my cheek softly with his hand and I watched him purse his lips before he put his forehead against mine. "I'll leave at the same time you do in the morning so that Nick won't ask any questions. Everything will be stored at my apartment and it will look like we've gone to Maine as planned, but Ali, if you need me at any point…"

"I'll just pray, Cas, I will." I whispered and watched him smile. He kissed me quickly on the forehead, pulled back from my arms and headed for his truck. With one last glance at me, he hopped in, started up the engine and turned down the road, disappearing from sight.

The house was packed, the cats were already at the boarding house where we had planned on keeping them for the next two weeks and the GTO was gassed up and ready to go.

I stood in the kitchen that next morning, looking over the way my house lay silent and a small smile formed up on my lips. For the first time in what felt like forever, something inside me clicked and I grabbed my phone, the keys and the last bag I needed before snatching the journal off the counter.

I was on a mission and it started now.


	71. DH Remembrance - 5

**Chapter 5**

Christian and Jo

Summerford, Ohio

So, Cas said at 8:43 pm on April 14th, a semi came flying off the highway and struck the car at such a high rate of speed that he and other EMTs had to wait for the jaws of life to come in and cut me out of the car. As I sat at the Waffle House parking lot, looking at the intersection that he had spoken of, it occurred to me Cas wasn't an EMT at all, in fact he wasn't human, he was an angel.

With a deep breath I looked at the building beside me at the bench that I could see in the corner, where if memory serves me right, I was sitting when I looked up and saw Dean and his cup of coffee and the backside of Sam's head. I couldn't stay there, I couldn't go in and eat, which was my thought all the way down, the whole 11-hour drive there, as I cranked the tunes from my Spotify station. Putting the GTO in gear I looked up the closest bar, only because I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Summerford, six minutes away from where I currently sat, was a small town that had one major road that I had decided to drive down. Nothing was open, at least nothing that most women driving alone would care to stop at, but when Jones suggested trying the Roadhouse Saloon in Summerford to check on Dean's whereabouts I couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Bikes, trucks and cars of all sizes graced the dirt parking lot of the old building that was pushed back from the roadway and as I put the car in park, slipped out of the plum purple GTO and I smiled at the looks I got, because hell yes, she was pretty. I stopped, looked up at the sign, dug out my cell and took a picture because when you see Harvelle's Roadhouse Saloon in the middle of nowhere Ohio, you HAVE to take a picture. I sent along to Jones, letting him know that I had arrived and slowly made my way in, past a few gruff looking bikers who were actually pretty pleasant and I weaved my way up to the bar to grab a stool before taking a look around.

My eyes went over the pool table, glanced past all of the men at the dartboards, took in the women that swayed on the dance floor, but no one seemed to catch my eye. Except that one man sitting in the back corner, his arm around the shoulders of some pretty blonde smiling in some strangely familiar way and I shook. Where the hell did I know him from? HOW did I know him?

A tap on the counter and a woman's voice clearing her throat had me turning in my seat and I looked at the petite blonde that stood before me.

NO FREAKING WAY!

Her dark eyes scanned me over as her long blonde hair flowed over her shoulders. She looked as innocent as I thought she would, but even though the years had been good to her in the way of looks, I could see the hard life behind her eyes and her curious face turned to a concerned one as she watched me stare.

"You okay?" She questioned and I could almost hear the Nebraska drawl that she hadn't lost since moving north however many years ago.

"Ah, yeah, sorry," I whispered and straightened, "you just remind me of someone I thought I knew. It was kind of a shock, because I thought she was dead."

"Well, that wouldn't be the first time that happened to me." She smiled and placed the cloth on the counter. "Something I could get you?"

"Um, a Coke and a shot of Vodka," I whispered and watched her eye me curiously.

"Together?" She laughed.

"Depends on the size of your cups," I teased back as she looked down at her chest.

"About a B, if you're interested," and I drew in a deep breath. Damn she was beautiful, but I wasn't here for that, or her, no matter how tempting it sounded and with that stunned silence she gave me a wink, filled a glass with ice and placed it on the bar. I watched her fill it will soda, then grab the Vodka. "Just tell me when." As she tipped and poured I watched the liquid mix in the cup, but I was still staring at her face before she finally put it down. "You didn't say when."

"Sorry, distracted." I felt the blush rush up. Why was I blushing over Jo? Did I have a girl crush? Okay, I admit I had one for the woman on the show and yes, this Jo was just as beautiful so why was my heart racing.

"If it's too strong, just let me know," she whispered and pushed the cup towards me. I took a sip and felt the burn of the Vodka and the tickle of the bubbles. It was actually perfect and I smiled, watching her nod before she held out her hand, "Jo Harvelle."

"Ali," I whispered, reaching out to take it, but she just held my fingers, never bothered to shake it, "Ali Porter." The strange reaction to my name, one of a quick glance to the familiar man in the back had me curious, but she quickly wiped all of the emotion from her face and smiled. "I'm looking for someone."

"For the night, for the hour?" She winked and while I knew she was trying to hit on me, I shook my head, giving her a sly grin as I took and glanced back at him myself. "He's probably not your type, trust me."

"Oh, I'm not looking for him," I sighed and leaned on the counter, closing the distance enough that I could smell her perfume over the scent of the alcohol in my drink. "I'm looking for a man, about six-foot, green eyes, badass attitude."

"We see plenty of those come in, you got a picture?" she sat back a little as I shook my head. "So, are you the jealous wife or the crazy girlfriend?"

"The brat sister," I laughed and looked up at her seriously. "He's kinda family and I've lost track of him. It's pretty important that I find him, but the numbers I have aren't working. I haven't heard from him in months and with our line of work, that can't be a good sign at all."

"Line of work, huh?" she raised a finger, having me hold my reply as she helped one of the other girls behind the bar with a few drinks, but she came back rather quickly. "So, you were saying, line of work?"

"Hunters," I whispered and locked eye contact with her. For a second I saw the shock in her eyes, saw it flicker to the man in the background, a sure sign of some sort of communication and suddenly she was locked on me again.

"Hunters, as in deer, bear?" Her laugh was nervous.

"Moose mostly," I answered, watched her pale before I moved on, "sometimes little woodland creatures, but this one has a scar across his cheek, follows his bone, just a white line, most wouldn't even notice if you didn't look close enough."

"Who did you say you were looking for?" She stepped back, still not breaking contact.

"Dean," I winked and her eyes shifted to the man behind me, "Dean Winchester."

I felt him almost to the second that I finished saying the words. The man in the back corner was now standing right behind me and I turned to look up at him. His dirty blonde, almost brown hair was cut short, seemed like a usual thing for hunters, and his dark green just this side of hazel eyes looked me over suspiciously as he clicked his tongue.

"You're a hunter?" He asked, almost with an air of amusement.

"Would you like to take it outside and find out?" I snapped back and watched as he took the stool beside me before Jo brought over a beer for him and the three of us seemed to huddle together. "Look, I'm not gunning for trouble, I just need to find Dean."

"Winchester?" He questioned, as if he hadn't heard me speak the man's name before.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" I questioned and it wasn't sarcastic but seriously. I just couldn't place the name with the face that was looking at me and I knew the face.

"Christian," he answered and that made me sit back.

"Campbell?" I whispered more to myself than anyone, but when he heard his name his eyes locked on Jo's and I saw the uncertainty in his face.

"Do I _know_ you?" he was absolutely serious, and deadly. I took a breath, glanced at the woman behind the bar and shook my head.

"No, but I know something of you, both of you," I shrugged and looked at Jo, "your mother was Ellen, the two of you ran a roadhouse in Nebraska with a man named Ash, a hunter's roadhouse." I watched the shock on her face, but I also saw the blade come up from behind the counter and rest on the bar. I rolled my eyes, hunters were such an untrusting bunch. "Just wait a minute, I can explain." I whispered and turned to Christian, "You, though, the only things I know about you is that you are Sam and Dean's cousin on their mom's side, Mary, third if I'm not mistaken and you can be a regular douche when you want to!"

"Hey, no need to jump to conclusions, we just met, sweets." He winked at me, apparently something about being called names was a turn-on for him. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Honestly, Dean and Sam told me about you both, well, mostly about you, Jo." I replied, staring at the woman who was leaning across the bar, her doe eyes staring at me with a mix of heated curiosity and reservation about even believing my story, but I turned to Christian, "You on the other hand, just the basics, sorry."

"So, what's got you searching for Dean?" Jo spoke up, grabbing the towel to wipe down a spot before pushing my drink closer, as if to say she only trusted someone that finished what they ordered. I took the glass and lifted it for a moment before taking a long drink of it, letting the heat of the Vodka sink in.

"Like I said, it's been a few months and in this line of work, a few months could mean some very bad things," I shrugged. "Phone's disconnected, so that means he dropped it for a burner which isn't easy to trace, but I know how. Sam's been off the grid, at least off my grid for just about as long and a friend said this might be the best place to start looking."

"Friend?" Christian whispered and looked around, "Hunter's don't usually have friends, the have contacts."

"Well, Jones is more like a protector than a friend I guess you could say. He said you might know a little something about something, you know being a hunter's pitstop and stuff." I answered and shrugged, couldn't give them any more information than that, didn't really have anything else to give them.

"Jones?" Jo whispered and reached under the counter to grab a journal, flipping through it she came to a page and stopped, just for a second to read it over before she slammed it shut. "Full name?"

"Michael Jones, owns the Ware Gun Shop, kind of a go-to guy for hunters in our area." Her eyes lightened and she glanced at the man beside me before raising a brow. "Feel free to call," I pulled out my phone, opened it to his contact and put it on the counter in front of her. Before she could pull back I hit the call button. When it connected I hit the speaker. Just as he said hello, I spoke up. "Jones."

"Ali, did you find Jo? You okay?" He asked right away and I watched her stand up straight, snatch the phone off the counter and walk away with it, through the swinging door to the kitchen.

"You really think that's a good idea?" Christian laughed as I finished the drink and turned towards him.

"Honestly, I haven't had one good idea since I woke up yesterday, so no, this is so totally _not_ a good idea." I winked and reached over the bar to grab the bottle of vodka I had watched her stash there before pouring myself just a little bit more.

"I meant letting her leave with your phone, she's a hunter, she could probably copy every contact you have in there in two seconds," he laughed, which earned him nothing but a shrug.

"Got nothing to hide, let her copy away." I shrugged and downed the drink before reaching for the bottle again, but Christian's hand came up and his fingers wrapped around mine and the bottle before I turned to look at him again.

"What the hell did Dean do to you?" He questioned, concerned.

"More of what I think I did to him," I said softly and released the bottle before he set it down softly on the bar. He looked around, took my hand, removed my glass and folded his fingers around mine.

"Come on, we need a better place to talk." And I stood, why the hell was I going with him? I mean, what did he need to talk to me about? Before I could blink, I was off the stool, the vodka hitting me a little too hard and I was following him through the crowd.

Let me describe Christian Campbell to you. He is very easy on the eyes, tall, broad shouldered and it must have been a Campbell trait that all three shared, because I felt undeniably safe just following him further into the back of the bar. He had a kind face, but he had seen hard times, like most hunters, and it showed in his eyes, even as they looked you over, checking for imperfections, weaknesses. I didn't feel the need to protect myself with him so close, like I had known him for some time, when in fact the character of Christian Campbell had only been in a few episodes and even then, he had been an ass in a few and a demon in the last one.

This man didn't show signs of either.

He slipped through a set of swinging half-doors, almost like the ones in the old saloons and pulled me over to a table in the corner where he slipped off his jacket and offered me a seat. I watched as he moved to the coffee pot in the corner and started up a new pot of the liquid gold. Seriously, either we were sitting in the breakroom or I was inside a small café tucked somewhere in the back of a bar.

He glanced over at me, smiling. "You know, you look completely lost."

"I'm not exactly in my element here," I replied sarcastically as he sat down with a mug of coffee, a handful of creamers and slid the sugar towards me as he sat down. "I mean other hunters, besides Sam and Dean, not exactly my scene."

"How long did you hunt with them?" He questioned, but his voice was soft and coaxing and I concentrated on my coffee preparation before I answered him.

"Not long, I guess, I mean, long enough to become family." I whispered, "We had a hunt together in April, things kind of made us separate for a little while. We kept in touch, but didn't really hunt together physically until Virginia in June. After that they kind of went off the radar, which is what has me so worried."

"You said long enough to become family, how would one hunt make you family, or sorry, two?" he laughed. "Dean doesn't latch onto anyone he hasn't known for a while."

"Special case I guess and then Sam and I got involved…" my voice trailed off as I watched his eyebrow go up. "You know what, that is probably all you need to know about that. Dean and I just clicked, Sam and I just…"

"Yeah, I kinda get what you and Sam just did," he grinned and put his foot up on the chair beside him. "I can get him for you, Dean I mean, but Sam and I don't have the best of relationships."

"Really, I thought you and Dean…" I looked up at him and watched the confusion on his face as if to ask me how I would know anything about what went on between them, "You know what, never mind. I mean, I guess I could see how someone would have a complicated relationship with Sam, he's a bit…"

"Intense?" Christian smiled, "yeah, no doubt."

"But you can really get ahold of Dean?" I questioned and watched as he sat there staring at me for a moment before he pursed his lips, giving it just a little more thought before he nodded. "Why would you do that for me?"

"This is going to sound awfully strange," he grinned as he moved a little closer, "and it's not exactly the best line I've got either, but I think I trust you."

"You've known me all of about five minutes and you trust me?" I laughed, sitting back. "Yeah not exactly the best line." I gave a small grin before I shook my head. "And it's not going to work, by the way, I kind of have my heart going in enough different directions."

"Not your heart I was interested in, sweets." He laughed and shook his head.

"But when a lady says no, Chris," Jo spoke up from the doorway. I watched Christian's head whip over in her direction as she slowly sauntered in and turned the chair next to me around. He gave her a little grin, like he knew he was being scolded and liked it. "So, we're calling Dean then?"

So, here is my thoughts on this suddenly "jump on Ali's bandwagon", either A: Dean was going to just outright kill me when we met, or B: they just wanted to sit back and watch the fire fly when we finally did meet up. Whichever way the ball rolled, these two were in for some serious entertainment.

"Funny, though," Christian spoke up and watched as Jo handed me back the phone. I took it gently from her hand, feeling her fingers caress mine. "You just told me you and Sam had a thing, but you're only looking for Dean."

"Well, the way I figured, Dean would know where Sam was and Sam, bless his genius heart, would know how to find my sister." I snapped, suddenly getting irritated, catching onto their game.

"So now you're looking for your sister?" Jo questioned.

"Actually, I'm searching for all three, but like I said, Dean first." I shrugged. "My sister is a little more complicated than the boys. She wouldn't be easy to find and trust me I've tried every angle, but I'm pretty sure that, without heading to a crossroads, the boys are my best bet. And, I'm pretty worried about them."

"The Winchesters aren't amateurs," Jo scoffed and I locked my blue eyes on hers. "If Sam doesn't want to be found, there's a reason, if Dean comes to answer this call and says it's bull…"

"Trust me, I know what he's capable of Jo and if I really wanted to try and pull a fast one on them, on _him_ , do you think I would have actually stepped foot outside of a little town like Ware, Massachusetts?" I glared pointedly at her.

She licked her lips, nodded and turned her attention on Christian. "Make the call, it's her funeral." Christian stood, pulled his cell out of his pocket and moved to the furthest side of the room before she turned back to me. "You said your sister is missing too, is she a hunter?"

"Yeah, last I heard she had taken on some heavy crap alone and kind of disappeared into the dark with it." I sighed, letting the knowledge of Danni facing these monsters alone take over and I shook my head. "She's badass but we're family, ya know?"

"Maybe she's been around," Jo shrugged, "what's her name?"

"Danni," I watched her sit back, a little stunned, "Danni Danvers." Okay, a lot stunned, as her face went pale. "You know her?"

"Heard of her, sure, word gets around when there are new hunters stirring stuff up, but no, never had the pleasure." She lied, I could see it in her eyes, she _lied_!

Taking a deep breath as if frustrated that I was still at square one. I nodded and my gaze went to where Christian stood, his arms crossed, the phone to his ear as he turned and leaned on the wall, looking me over from head to toe and back with a straight face.

Man, would I love to be a fly on the wall right now, because the way Christian was looking at me I was about to either be dinner for Dean Winchester or dead meat!

Clearly, my night was going to go exactly as I had planned it, not that I had planned it at all. I had expected to find Jo at the Roadhouse in Summerford, Christian however, not so much. Now I found myself waiting out by the car for an answer. It was closer to midnight than I thought it to be, which meant I had been inside with the Bobbsey twins for almost three hours. As I stood there waiting out by the GTO I saw Christian walk out of the bar with confidence, saying goodnight to most of the people there as he passed by. When he got to he GTO he stopped and stood in front of me.

"You look comfortable." He grinned and I looked back at the car behind me, with my arms crossed and gave him just a little shrug before he came to stand beside me. My first thought was _don't scratch the paint_ just before the words "don't scratch at the wall" floated through my head in some strange voice. I shook the voice of caution away and went back to looking at the people. "Okay, Greta Garbo, here's the deal," referring to me as a 1920's silent actress as I stood there and said nothing, "I got Dean to agree to a meet up, but he's got a case and won't be able to do it until the afternoon. Until then, I've been instructed to keep an eye on you."

"Yeah, well, an eye is all you're keeping on me," I snarked and watched him smile.

"Don't worry, Al, if you've got anything to do with my cousin," he put his hands up, "hands off is the rule, especially with Sam." I watched as his eyes moved over me, "but you know, if you ever change your mind."

"Okay, so you said tomorrow?" I pushed away from the car and looked at him fully, which was when he finally noticed the sheath of the spectrum blade at my side before nodded. "Fine then, tomorrow we'll meet back here."

"That ain't going to happen," he grumbled, like he had been given a chore and didn't like it. "I'm supposed to keep an eye on you so, I hope you didn't rent a room cause you're staying with me."

"The hell I am!" I snapped and watched as Jo walked out and stood there watching.

"Listen, Kid, it's the only way Dean would agree for this to go down. My eyes on you, all night." He sighed and I looked at Jo, who just gave one of her "not getting in it" kind of shrugs. Dean's rule? Remind me to kick _Dean_ in the ass for his _rules_!

"Whatever, can we just go then, I'm freaking exhausted!" I stated through clenched teeth. Christian smiled, walked over to the Grand Am that was parked beside me and gestured for me to get in.

"It's just around the corner." He answered and looked at Jo. "Night, darlin'."

"Hey, don't do anything I wouldn't do," she replied, but her eyes fell on me as she now looked me over. I shook my head. "Come back in the morning, I'll make breakfast."

I nodded, got in the car, cranked the engine over and listened to her purr. I should have just stayed on the road, should have just drove out to Lebanon, Kansas and hunted down the damn bunker. Not that they would have been there, but I knew how to set off the system and humans can walk right in with a key.

The motel that Christian was occupying didn't even have a name, at least nothing that was posted on any available signs on the outside. There was only maybe a total of ten rooms on the strip and I was almost positive that I was sharing a bed with this guy, but when he opened the door to number 7 I was surprised to see two double beds in the room as he put the keys down on the small table and walked in.

"Home sweet home, for now." He grinned and watched as I walked by and set my bags on the first bed closest to the door. He didn't protest to tell me that it was his, which made me realize this wasn't his room at all. He must have noticed my curiosity because he just made his way to the second bed, unlaced his boots, toed them off and crawled up the mattress until he could tuck one of those pillows under his bed. "It's a hunters' motel."

"That explains a lot," I mumbled and watched as his eyes slowly started to close. "So, what, you get a room if you need a place to crash?"

"Yep, Jo owns it, she likes to keep us as safe as possible, considering what happened to her mom." Okay this peaked my interest and I watched him, waiting for him to say more, but I could hear the change in his breathing. He wasn't going to be awake much longer.

"Well, then," I smiled, "good night."

"Mm, yeah, g'night." Me mumbled back and inhaled deeply, before exhaling. "By the way, you smell really good."

"And you're probably drunk, so sleep it off, Gaston!" I rolled my eyes, grabbed my sweats from the bag, unhooked the spectrum from my belt and disappeared into the bathroom.

Thank God silence was the only thing I was met with when I got out, because if I had to listen to him snore I would have ganked him right there in the bed. As it was, a sudden bang from behind the bathroom wall and a loud shout outside the window towards the back of the building had me slipping the Walther in the pocket of my sweats and the sheath off the spectrum before I knew it.

Leaving the door half open, I moved quietly around the end of room 10 on my bare feet, which was probably a bad idea but it kept me silent as I walked and looked at the fight that was going on behind our room. One of the guys from the bar, some punk ass kid that I had seen with one of the bikers, was getting his ass handed to him by something that managed to keep to the shadows. It wouldn't have bothered me so much if it wasn't for the fact that the thing who was kindly handing it to him growled.

Great, I just walked in on a monster fight. I saw the kid pull something, a gun maybe, I wasn't sure but it didn't go off. Okay it was a faulty, crappy piece of equipment to say the least, but just as the monster came down on him, I pulled the Walther and shot it, not a second thought in my head and watched the bullet lodged in his shoulder. I wanted to know what this thing was.

It turned to me, giving me a full-on view of the ugly face before me and I cringed. "Dude, you're fugly!"

It came at me without a moment's thought and suddenly I was swinging. I fired off the gun three more times, managed to avoid getting sliced by the claws that it was sending my way and right when it was on top of me, just as it was about to sink those nasty werewolf teeth into my neck, I took the spectrum and rammed it up between its ribs.

Blood flowed over me. I kicked it in the nuts, listened to it howl and move off me, in more pain than what seemed like the blade had done and as it moved I snatched the knife from its chest and rolled over to hover above it.

"Night-night, puppy!" I growled and swung down, feeling the blade hit the vertebrae on the way through, then release as it sliced through with ease as if it were just hot butter.

Looking over at the kid behind me, one that still sat bloody and bruise, I gestured at him to move and he did, like lightning. That was when I saw a pair of boots step up in front of me and I looked up at a displeased face and Christian holding out a hand to me.

When he pulled me to my feet, he looked back at the two guys that were standing in the shadows and kicked the body at our feet with the toe of his boot.

"Take care of this, will ya?" he ordered as he grabbed my upper arm and started to drag me around the corner. Yeah, he wasn't related to Dean at all. Once we were out of sight from the others I snatched my arm away, wiped the blade against my sweats and followed the angry man back to the room, where he closed the door and locked it behind me, before turning to look at me. "Oh yeah, I'm positive you know Dean now! Did he teach you to run headlong into a werewolf fight with no backup?" He snapped as I put the gun and spectrum on the bed and grabbed another pair of pants out of the bag. "Let me see the gun!"

I picked it up, turned it handle side towards him and held it out. Snatching it from me, eyes still locked on mine, he walked towards the table as I shook my head and moved to the bathroom. I could hear him unclip the mag and check out the bullets just as I dropped the sweats I was wearing and suddenly I looked up at the shadow that loomed over me.

Christian stood there with a bullet in one hand and the mag in the other, while I grinned, wet a towel and washed the blood from my leg.

"Holy shit," he said softly, holding the bullet out as if I didn't know what it was, "you really do know Dean."


	72. DH Remembrance - 6

**Chapter 6**

The Mind of Christian

Not sure what made me grin more, the "holy shit" or the "you really do know Dean". Either way, me standing there in just a shirt with no pants on and a shocked Christian in the doorway was priceless. He didn't even seem phased that I was practically standing in my underwear, but when I turned to raise the washcloth, watching the water run red, I felt his eyes on my ass.

Shaking my head, I looked up at him again before going back to the task at hand. Werewolf blood was not coming out of my sweats and the last pair I had was now sitting on the toilet seat waiting to be worn, but the red just kept going and the blood wasn't coming off as easy as I liked.

"In or out," I snapped and watched his brows come together in a look of wide-eyed confusion. "The blood's not washing off, so I have to get in the shower. In or out, Christian."

He just stood there, staring at me like he had lost some sort of bet and I was just about to collect, that was how strange the look on his face was. Annoyed and not wanting to repeat, I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it up over my stomach.

"Whoa, whoa, I get it!" He said quickly and turned around so that I could strip the rest of the way, forget the fact that there was a mirror out there that I was pretty sure he could see my naked reflection in it anyway. "Nice ink," he mumbled and I turned to him, glanced past him at the mirror and looked at the four tats that graced my back. "How did you get this gun?"

"Dean gave it to me," I said as I stepped behind the curtain and turned the spray on to full heat, needing the scorching feeling of the water against my skin. "What's so special about the bullet that you now actually believe me?"

"You mean besides the fact that you're pigheaded, stubborn and downright dangerous, which is exactly his type?" I laughed at this because Dean and I, yeah, I so _wasn't_ his type, Danni was. "Have you ever seen him make these?"

"As much as I would love to say, yeah, I've see where he sleeps," I laughed, "but no, I never had the privilege. He kind of kept that location close to the chest while we were together."

"Well, Sam and Dean have this machine, helps them make the vamp bullets, a special way of injecting the bullets with DMB… you do know what DMB is, right?" I pulled back the curtain and looked at the way he stood, taking up most of the bathroom door, facing the curtain, with his shoulder against it, his arms and ankles crossed. I wondered if it was a normal thing for him, but then I thought back to Jo and smiled, before I nodded. "So, the vamp bullets are warded and laced with the crap. Nasty stuff to play with if you ask me, just give me a blade any day."

I smiled as I scrubbed the blood away until there was nothing but clean water running down the drain. "What are you, afraid of blood?"

"Dead man's blood, yeah that crap is nasty and you don't know what the vic had before the boys grabbed some." Christian almost had me laughing but I shook my head and turned so that I could wet my hair, knowing that there was probably some pulp in it somewhere. "Anyway, Dean and his brilliant mind were able to engineer it so that when the bullet is molded into the casing there is a little symbol on the edge of it, just as it curves."

"No sir!" I snapped and opened the curtain, beckoning him closer so I could see the bullet in his hand. I held the material closed as much as I could and took his fingers with my wet ones just so that I could really bring the small projectile closer. Sure as hell, there it was, some strange marking that was etched into the bullet. "What the hell is that supposed to be?"

"Dean said it was for Mary when I asked him about it." He whispered, and I heard him take a deep breath of my body wash before I let go of his hand and pushed at his forehead. "Damn you smell good."

"OUT!" I laughed and closed the curtain, but I knew he only went as far as the doorway again. "Why the hell would he pick that kind of symbol for his mother?"

"Beats me, this is Dean we're talking about," Christian laughed and listened to me rinse the shampoo from my hair. I could hear him breathing, peeked out and watched him stand there with his eyes closed before I applied the conditioner and again, rinsed my hair. "You gonna tell me how you know the boys or keep me in suspense for the rest of the night?"

"You gonna hand me a towel or stand there with your eyes closed?" I remarked and watched as he smiled, grabbed the towel and handed it to me, all with his eyes closed…or at least a little slitted, because he was perfect at the pass. "Now, really, get out so I can change."

He was sitting at the table, his legs up as usual, casually sitting back as I walked out of the bathroom, towel drying my hair. What time was it anyway? I tossed the towel back towards the linoleum floor and laid down on the bed closest to him, tucking my arms under the pillow as I brought it down to rest under my head. I stared at him for a little while, staring at how familiar and how much he resembled the Christian Campbell on the show, but his attitude was totally different and this time he got along with Dean instead of Sam, how strange was that for me to hear.

"You first or me first?" I mumbled as he continued to play with the bullet in his hand, rolling it between his fingers.

"I always make sure a lady goes first," he grinned and I tossed the second pillow that occupied my bed at his head, which he managed to swipe at before it actually hit him, but his eyes trailed over to me, the little smile playing on his lips. "Really, I'm sure your story is a lot longer than mine."

"Longer than you think," I replied, "like three decades long."

"I see, so maybe you should go first." I think it was that grin, that small little grin that was always on the corner of his lips that made me feel such at ease. I mean here I was, a hunter this time, but still a woman alone with a man twice my size and I was comfortable, strangely comfortable in his presence and maybe it was because he hadn't tried anything that made it feel as if we had known each other or maybe it was the way he looked after Jo, but to me, Christian wasn't a threat. I sighed and watched as he put his feet down on the floor and leaned in, elbows on his knees to bring himself closer to me. "If it's too much, Ali, you don't have to do it."

"Oh, I think I can handle it," I grinned and moved over just a bit so that we weren't talking loudly. "It's just picking a starting point, ya know. And I'm still getting stuff to come forward. My memories aren't all that clear."

"So how do you know that they really happened?" He shrugged, and I shook my head, before I looked at the bullet.

"How do I know that they didn't?" I answered and watched as he nodded. "I was on my way to see a friend, to meet my _sister_ Danni, she… ah, she lived in Oklahoma at the time and we planned the trip around the kids having vacation. The first night I stopped in London, grabbed a room and went to dinner. Life after that was kind of, well, let's just say it wasn't boring."

"You met them in London?"

"We kind of fell into each other, me and Sam first, then Dean," I sighed, trying not to give too much away, because honestly, I didn't remember much about the when, but just the how. "Sam came through the window, sliced up by a vamp. He was bleeding and it was gunning for him. I tried everything to defend him, but what I got was Dean taking the damn thing's head clean off. After that we needed to get Sam situated before he bled to death, but apparently that wasn't all. The vamp scratched me," I pulled down the pillow to show him the light pink lines on my arm and I saw his fingers come down across them. "It had my scent and it was coming for me and Sam now. Dean wouldn't let me go, figuratively and literally. We formed a bond, the three of us and they kept me safe. They kept Danni safe."

"Danni, the woman you said was your sister?" He said softly, to which I nodded. "And she was involved…"

"With Dean," I watched him sit back suddenly and that smile curved into an "oh." "Be straight with me, Chris, you've seen her, haven't you?"

"She's been around," his voice was soft, too soft for someone who might have seen her in passing, but I wasn't going to press the issue. "I'm sure she's safe wherever she is, Ali, from what I got she was a hell of a hunter, _is_ a hell of a hunter."

"Yeah, who got tangled up in this crap because of me. Whose husband died because of me and now she's walking around with the wrong memories… because of me." I whispered and blinked away the tears, but his fingers touched my temple, edged around my ear and stopped just to cup the edge of my jaw as I focused on him. "You don't get it, Chris, this crap, this very bad crap follows me around and I know I did this to her."

"Bad things happen, Ali," he whispered and released my chin, "that's just the way of the world. The way _our_ world works. Whatever was going to happen to Danni was going to happen whether you were there or not." He sighed and sat back before he looked out the window and stretched his arms up to lock his fingers behind his head. "Did her husband die? I mean, you said the way you remember it, you were there when it happened right?"

"Yeah," I whispered, but then I thought about it. I had never said I was there, he had pulled that from somewhere, but I wanted to see where this went and his little lie about knowing her was growing. "And he still died, even in this crazy, screwed up reality."

"Then it wasn't you." He shrugged and I rolled my eyes. "So, you and Sam, love at first sight or what? Because I couldn't see Sam going for anyone, the man is one hell of a hunter, but he has anger issues as far as the eye can see."

"He never hurt me," I shrugged and tried to figure out what I was remembering, but it was the fading memory of something that Cas had told me about Sam's past. "Sam was always gentle, he was so afraid that he would hurt me that he was too afraid to touch me, but he got past that."

"What about Dean, you said you had a bond?" Boy was this one curious and I nodded against the pillow.

"We have a connection, you know, like a need to touch… as odd as that sounds. It's like making sure the other one is okay on a physical level. You can't just look and say "okay, nothing's out of place," you have to physically touch the person in order to feel it." I looked over at him and watched the distance in his eyes as I smiled. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you? That's why you stay so close to Jo? Because you do this with her even though…"

"She's into girls?" Christian smiled, and there was that little grin again, which made me relax, "yeah, she wasn't always and that was an issue for me. Not that I wanted her."

"Liar," I mumbled. "I'm not into girls and I want her. So, if you say you don't then there is something seriously wrong with you."

"Ha, you don't know the half of it," he laughed and shook his head before the smile faded. "I had a wife once, Arlene, she was beautiful. Blonde hair, bright blue eyes. We were trying for a kid, but it wasn't working, tried for years before…" he licked his lips and took a deep breath, "We were on a hunt in Utah, demons, about six years ago and they got to her, they possessed her. I didn't know what I do now. I mean, you would think growing up with the Campbell line that, yeah, you'd know everything but we didn't. She didn't make it."

"I'm sorry," I said softly and placed my hand on his knee, but he just put his own hand down over mine, gave it a quick squeeze and let me go again.

"She actually got the better end of the bargain. The demons were out for vengeance, wanted nothing more than to shred something, but just to make themselves known they snapped her neck." His eyes went into the darkness, taking that spark with them as he remembered. "I just stood there, looking down at her body as the rest of the world crumbled around me. We lost five more that day and I should have been one of them but I walked out… I walked out." He scratched his chin and sat forwards, elbows to his knees again, his hands folded together in front of him. "I had been wandering around for years, hunting, being a nomad, but it wasn't until I found Jo that I had some sort of purpose again. Like I said, her mom is the reason she has these rooms available to hunters and she's the reason I stay so close.

"When I first met her I was instantly in lust, wanted her more than anything, but then I touched her," he said it so softly that I forgot who I was talking to and faded into the memories of Dean, the first time his fingers came down on my face, the way his hand lay across my stomach as he pulled me close that first night when we watched over Sam. "It was like a craving, but nothing sexual, just… well, like you said, a need to make sure she was okay and that was how it started. I caught up to her one night, after the bar closed, always made sure I was there when the bar closed, and there was this guy, had to be about as big as me and he had her pinned to the counter, knife to her neck and she was fighting. He was possessed, talking to her about crap that didn't make any sense, like her attraction to someone. I didn't get the whole story, but I scared him away, tried to hunt the bastard down, but he was gone.

"She said it was a demon possessing him, that there was no way he would have done it if it were really him, but when I asked her who she just shook her head and that was the end of it," Christian sighed, and he clapped his hands together, drawing me out of the vision I had been in, an episode I had seen before, but now I was staring at him like I could have shot him. "So, she turned to girls, they were safer and she could pretty much put anyone on their ass if she wanted."

"Huh," I mumbled and felt the energy drain from me as my heartbeat slowed to match the fact that my eyes didn't want to stay open any more.

"Bed! Now!" he suddenly ordered, turned off the lights and moved from the chair, kicking off his boots before I heard his body hit the bed. Who was I to argue with a man who decided that he had done enough talking.

In the quiet of the room, with Christian Campbell asleep beside me, I let my mind drift and it took me to a very strange place. A dark and dangerous place.

I walked quietly through the halls of the small house, all on one floor, entering from the living room turning right down the hallway. The den was straight ahead of me before the turn, but the room to my right along the way was the second entrance to the kitchen, the door to my left was a bathroom. At the end of the hall were three doors and I reached out a hand, pressing against the one to my left.

I saw nothing but dark space, an empty bed and the curtains drawn. I could feel my heart beating, the way that it would if I were running a race and I held my hand out in front of me to push on the door. It opened without issue and again I was looking into nothingness, an empty room.

The third door, the one to my right, was slightly ajar. Not like the other doors and I pushed at it slowly with my shoulder. The air in the room was thick, you could feel the evil, almost taste the magic in the air, but as my eyes scanned the room I saw only a little. A dresser immediately to my left, a vanity to my right, two windows that took up one wall and a four-posted bed in the middle.

I heard the sounds of gasps as if someone was trying to breathe and the image of a fish out of water came to mind. As I drew closer to the bed and focused in the darkness, letting my eyes adjust, I saw Dean sprawled over the edge of the bed, one arm up by his head and one dangled off as his head leaned over the side. He was across the edge as if he had just plopped down there to rest, but it was the thing on his chest that got me.

HE was the one gasping for air as the small goblin sat there, crouching down on his lungs, pressing all of its weight on the man, cutting off his air. The bottom of the little troll looked as if it were made of concrete but its head, one that you would only imagine on a ugly little demon, was bald with pointed ears and a large smile filled with jagged teeth. It turned towards me, the grin widening as its eyes began to glow and the rest of its body turned to stone.

I listened to the grotesque sounds of Dean's ribs cracking under the weight of the monster and I raised my hand, the gun I held at the ready. It did nothing when I fired it off, nothing but shatter that concrete into a million pieces. I emptied the clip, listened to the clicking noise and searched my pocket for a new mag.

Hitting the release I looked down at the clip I now held. Witch killers. What the hell was I going to do with them? The silver ones that I had in there before hadn't done anything for me, so I was up for anything. Swallowing hard, I clipped it in, pulled back the slide and shot it three times. It roared at me as the pieces flew in millions of directions, each bullet chipped away a bigger piece and that was when I knew.

I aimed carefully and fired. Round after round it hit the target until there was one left and the monster turned on me. Flying up from Dean's chest it was coming at me with a sickening scream that echoed in my head and I fired off that one shot, that one last hope, before I sat up in bed.

I gasped for air and looked around, trying to hold onto the dream, knowing it was something important and I jumped off the bed, fished through my bag and pulled out the small, leather journal. Snatched the motel pen from the table and started to write.

Everything that I saw, every little detail, was now put to paper and when I finally looked up, when I had it all down, I found I was staring into the hazel eyes of the man who had been sleeping in the bed next to mine. He looked frightened and concerned and I just swallowed, knowing the last image that I saw, just past the witch, was the dead eyes of Dean staring back at me, the blood flowing from his lips.

Christian's arms were around me before I knew I was crying, before I felt the first shudder of a sob and that was it, I had held out long enough. I broke down in his arm, letting the last few days just really sink in and he held me there, on the floor of the motel room for a while, just until the emotion was gone, just until I was able to become numb.

I don't think Christian took his eyes off me the entire time I sat at the table stirring my coffee. In fact, if I thought back, he hadn't removed them at all since I slipped from his arms at the motel and went to go get dressed. By the time I stepped out of the bathroom, he was lacing up his boots and smiling like a little shit once more.

He was sitting the way that had become the norm for him, in my eyes anyway. Feet up on the seat beside me as he sat across, lounging low, his elbows on the arms and his hands folded on his lap, but it was the way his eyes flickered across my face, searching for signs of anything he needed to be worried about that got me and I gave him a little smile.

I could hear Jo in the kitchen, banging things around and I looked up as she swore so loud it echoed through the empty bar before my eyes landed on his.

"Maybe you should help her," I whispered before taking a sip of the hot liquid.

"Um, hunter in a room full of knives, yeah I think not!" He laughed, but brought his feet down so that, if needed, he could sprint in and save her. "How's your head?"

"Nothing a couple cups of coffee wouldn't fix and maybe a call out to Jones about something." I shrugged, putting the cup down as Jo walked out, three plates in hand and I remember when I had a waitressing job. "Nice technique."

"Yeah, years of doing this and I don't feel the heat anymore." She set the plates down, one at a time in front of us, right next to the silverware that had already been set there and smiled before grabbing her own seat.

"You turn everything off this time?" Christian laughed and the unamused look crossed her face, before he raised his hand, "I'm just checking, last time you nearly burnt the place to the ground with the eggs."

Her eyes locked on mine as I smiled, but looked down at the food in front of me and started to dig in. We sat in silence, enjoying the hot meal that was there and I was knee-deep in thoughts of the dream when I heard Christian clear his throat.

My eyes snapped up, knife in hand and I glanced at it only to see it shake before they moved up to his and the concern there. I let out a sigh, put the knife down on the table and wiped my hands with the napkin before I stood.

"Excuse me," making my way from the table. I stopped just around the corner where the entrance to the bathroom was and leaned back against the wall. From where I was I could hear snippets of their conversation, the low worry in his voice and the strange concern in her's.

"She's not playing, Jo. She knows the boys and she's practically family with Danni," Christian growled.

"Doesn't mean we know anything about either," the woman replied sternly and I heard him sigh. "Listen, if you think this is really a good idea to bring her to Dean, then fine, bring her to him. But Chris, you and Sam… You should probably come back when they leave to find him."

"We haven't heard a word in days, don't you think following up _with_ them is probably going to get us better results than trying to do all the tracking alone?"

"She'll show up when she needs too, like always, you know that."

"Doesn't mean I can't worry." He mumbled and I took a deep breath, slowly pushed the door to the bathroom open and stepped into the dark.

The auto lights turned on, illuminating the bathroom and I found myself standing in front of the mirror, staring into my own blue eyes, but what I saw staring back wasn't me at all. It was Dean.

" _Face to face, why did you come in?"_

 _He looked me over once, let his eyes settle on the fading mark on my shoulder and sighed. I watched as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees before rubbing his chin. I waited for him to finish gathering his words and finally he sat up and looked at me._

" _I don't know what to say, except," he shrugged, "I meant every word."_

" _You son of a bitch!" I snapped._

" _Hey, if you think you are more than capable of saving your own ass I'm not going to stop you or pretend that I think you're right." Dean stood and walked over to me, his arms crossed as he looked down over every naked inch of my upper half before his eyes landed on mine. "You will never be close to the hunter that Charlie was and I don't give a shit how she died on your little show or who the hell you think you are, but you swing at me again, I'll knock you on your ass."_

Damn, that was when I had punched him, when I had outright told him to leave me the hell alone and now I was looking for him, again, searching him out. What if he reacted that way? What if he told me that there was no way he believed me and that I could go jump off? I swallowed hard as the memory faded, but with it came new ones. Memories of Sam in a bathroom, _lots_ of memories with Sam in a bathroom and that scar across his stomach.

The sound of the water running when I slipped my hand under it made me jump a foot before I gained my composure and splashed some of the cold water over my heated face. I longed for them both, but the thought of seeing Sam again made my whole body ache.

Drying off, I turned and moved out of the bathroom, silently moving through the halls as I stepped up to the table and pulled out the chair. The look on both Jo and Christian's face told me more than I wanted to know and I folded my hands together as waited.

"Dean's going to meet us in Upland, Indiana, at about noon," Christian stated and I looked over at him, unsure of the tone of his voice. "It's about a three-hour drive on Route 67, so we'll leave in about thirty minutes."

"Finish your food," Jo whispered, her fingers trailing lightly over my shoulder as her thumb ran down the back of my neck. My eyes widened at the touch, Christian only raised an eyebrow and gave me a smirk before I nodded, kind of compliantly and picked up the fork. The memory of Dean, of the words that he said were stuck in my mind and brought back the vision of the monster from my dreams.

This was going to be a long three hours.


	73. DH Remembrance - 7

**Chapter 7**

When Dean Meets Ali

The bar in Upland wasn't anything fancy. In fact, it looked ten times worse than the Roadhouse and probably could have used about twenty coats of paint and that was just to start, but it didn't stop Christian from hopping out of the Grand Am and smiling all the way in the door, giving me one signal, which was to hold up a finger as I got out of the GTO wanting me to hold on for just a minute.

I did what I was told, cut the engine after backing her in next to him, grabbed the key and the spectrum to slide both into their respective places. The keys in my pocket, the knife at my side. I tucked the Walther in at my back. Pulling down the light, loose tank that I wore before grabbing a flannel from the top of my bag in the back I managed to close the door gently and moved over to lean on the hood, just waiting.

I didn't get much information about what exactly was going on except we were headed to Indiana. It was about a three-hour trip, which gave me just enough time to keep going over the dream in my head before we got there. That and listen to the way that the books I had loaded onto my drive explained to me just what it was that I was having a nightmare about. Oddly enough, the only one I wanted to discuss it with was Dean and I knew he would be there shortly, but I honestly didn't think he would bother listening after the horror story I was going to tell him about.

I had been out there for no more than five minutes when I heard the familiar rumble coming down the road and whether or not I outwardly did it, I felt myself straighten at the noise. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath praying that I knew just what and who were approaching.

I opened my eyes when she pulled into the lot, the sun reflected off the shine of her chrome and even if she were a bit dusty from the dry backroads, man was she a beautiful sight to see. I slipped my hands into my back pocket and just watched him park her the long way against the divider that would keep her at least somewhat safe from traffic, but he wasn't leaving much room for errors if someone backed out of the parking spots, not that there were more than four other cars at the place to begin with.

He cut the engine, the door squeaked open and I watched him stand, holding my breath. From where I stood I saw the back of his head at what looked freshly shaved hair giving him that usual soldier look, before his broad shoulders came up covered by a light, army green canvas jacket, which I'm sure housed a black t-shirt underneath.

When he closed the door he surveyed the road before turning and coming towards the end of the car. Just his walk alone told me he had a bad night and was tired, but as he rounded the trunk, I found myself staring, trying not to smile. The boy had been working out, because those jeans fit him just a bit more snug than they used too and I was right, black tee with a maroon shirt over it. Yeah, typical Dean.

He glanced up as he went to walk by to go into the bar and at first I thought it was because he recognized me, but then I realized it was the car that I was leaning on that caught his attention. I bit my lip, no matter what, I would take him walking towards me any day.

The grin on his face told me two things, one: he definitely was looking at the car and two: he might have been trying to figure out the right kind of scheme to either get in my pants or behind the wheel. His green eyes were full of sparkle as that grin grew into his best heart-throb smile.

"Nice ride," he complimented and my heart nearly melted. Not because of the attraction, but because it was a voice I had been waiting months to hear again. I kept myself composed and looked him over before I glanced at Baby.

"You too," I whispered back, and watched as he glanced back at his pride and joy.

"Yeah she's pretty badass." He winked and walked past me to look in the car and I waited to see his reaction to the bags in the back. "How does she handle?"

"Like a boss," I winked and he stood straight.

"She yours?"

"I'm not a trophy wife if that's what you're asking," I grinned as he moved closer and stood not more than a few feet from me putting his hands in those jacket pockets.

"Wasn't asking, but I'm sure you'd make a fine one." Ah, the old Winchester charm and I knew he was about to change the subject, especially with the way he was eyeing me, his attention taken away from the car. "Mind if I take her for a spin?"

"Trade you keys," I laughed eyeing Baby like she was a thing of art. "You let me try yours and you can try mine."

"She's pretty special, I don't usually let just anyone take hold of her shift." And, here we go!

"Yeah, I get it," and I let my fingers trail over the curve of the GTO, watched his eyes go to my movements and he shifted in front of me. I knew he was getting turned on with the visuals, but hell, this was Dean and I was in the mood to play, only because, well, again, this was Dean. "You have to have a certain finesse with this one. She likes to be ridden hard, but only because she likes to purr."

"A beauty like her should be caressed, not manhandled," he answered, and I watched him step forward, his fingers coming down on the hood tracing the line where the metal met before those eyes, just those eyes came up to meet me. "Sometimes you just got to show a lady like her some tender, loving care, can't be rough and tumble all the time."

"Have never met a man who could do that and get the sound out of her that I do." I gave him a little grin, just a small one as I turned, leaning over the car just a bit as I noticed something on the paint and his eyes instantly went to my ass. Damn predictable Winchester, but this was all for fun.

"Maybe you're not letting the right men behind the wheel," he said softly and this made me look up at him before I stood completely, dropping the leaf that had been stuck to her by my side. I gave him the once over, maybe twice before I took a deep breath and worried my bottom lip.

"Maybe not, maybe I just haven't found the right one that can take control and ease her into it," I shrugged. Shit, I was laying it on a bit thick. "You know, it's hard to give it up when you know just how you like it and with her I know just when to shift."

"Tell you what," he said as he stepped just a little closer to me, "why don't you let me take you for a drive. I'm sure I could help you adjust that kink or at least give you some insight on how to slow it down and enjoy it."

"Tempting," I reached out and touched his chest, that was just how close he was and I could instantly feel the need to touch him. Dammit, would this ever go away? Just then, as I was about to continue, I heard the door slam shut on the bar and Christian made his way towards us.

"Oh, good, you found her," he spoke up and stopped by the passenger's side of the car. "Dean, this is Ali, the girl I told you about." I smiled as I watched the shock spread over his face, like he had just been handed back his balls in a jar and with that I raised my eyebrows, dropping my hand from his chest. He turned his head towards Christian, the smile wiped from his face and I looked in the direction of his cousin, but all I could see was Christian's all-knowing grin. "I see the two of you are getting along, that's good, cause we need to talk."

Dean stared at me from across the table, his hands folded in his lap, his feet planted firmly. He was trying to be casual, except that wasn't his style. He was tensed to run, to jump and fight, where Christian, who was sitting beside me, had his feet out on the extra chair, slumped down with his arms crossed and his head back, eyes closed just looking as if he were taking a nap.

I kicked his thigh and watched him pop one eye open to look at me when he turned his head and I gestured at the waitress who was walking over with another pot of coffee. We were sitting outside at some little bistro, enjoying something a little bit more casual than a drink at the bar, because after Dean had found out who I was the whole playful mood of "let's see how many innuendos we can cram into talking about driving cars" came to an end.

" _Wait, you're Ali?" Dean had come out with and instantly that had me smiling, because I watched that dark and dangerous look fill his eyes as he scanned me over for a different reason this time, maybe to see if he remembered, but he shook his head, "and you know me?"_

" _Yeah, it seems that way." I replied but felt Christian move up beside me, like he was suddenly in protector mode. Something I had only seen him do with Jo and his hand went to the small of my back, right along the handle of that Walther. "He's right though, we need to talk."_

" _Okay, first off, before we leave this lot, how the hell did you get my bullets?" I raised a brow and that was the question he was going with, okay, that I could handle._

" _Easy enough, you gave them to me," and I pushed Chris' hand aside as I pulled the gun out from behind my back. A gesture that had Dean reaching for his, but I held it with just my thumb and pointer on the grip, no need to get the boy alarmed. Dean swiped the gun from my hand, checked the serial number on the gun and unclipped the mags, inspecting the bullets. I expected him to give it back, but he didn't. "Wanna just hand that back to me?"_

" _Sorry, Lady," and I cringed, "not until I figure out your story and how the hell you got my gun."_

So that was it and here we sit. Christian beside me, kind of doing the protector thing, even though he was lounging back I knew he was fully aware of everything that was going on, but it was the one across from me that I couldn't take my eyes off from. Once the waitress had refreshed all of our cups and Dean wiped his hands, because he never seemed to get all the creamer in the cup, he looked up at me over the edge of the mug, making eye contact, which he held until he put it down.

"So, what's your story?" He questioned and I felt the grin tug on my cheek. "You some sort of Bela?"

"No, I don't steal from the people I know and certainly don't sell stuff to the highest bidder." I replied and watched the strange way he looked at me as I acknowledged his reference to Bela Talbot, but I heard Christian clear his throat before shooting dagger my way.

"Why don't you just tell him what you told me last night," the man beside me sighed and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah and that will go over about as well as a tornado in a manure pit!" I growled and saw Dean's eyes flicker back and forth between us.

"Did you two sleep together?" he questioned and nearly wore my coffee.

"No!" Christian snapped just as I replied, "Not a chance in hell", and the hazel-eyed man turned to me. "Really, not a chance in hell?"

"Dude," I growled and looked over at him, "you know about me and Sa… just shut up!"

"Yeah… you did," Dean replied and gave me a look, one that told me he was onto me. "So, are we doing this or not?"

I licked my lips, steadied my feet, because yeah, I so totally wanted to run away and with a deep breath, I started. I told him everything that I could, everything that I remembered, _everything_ that I had told Christian the night before. All about the way we met, the vampires, Sam, the gun that he held behind his back and the way that we had left things. I told him all of it, except about Virginia, because I was still working out that kinks in that memory link.

After an hour of me talking, of him not saying a word but locking those green eyes on me, I stopped and sat back, because there really wasn't much else to say. I watched him take a breath, shake his head and his jaw clenched. It was a classic Dean face, one of the ones that you see only when he's about to hand you your ass or you said something very, very wrong.

"You're lying," he whispered and sat forward. Christian's feet were suddenly on the ground and he was sitting up just at the tone of Dean's voice. I smiled, nodded and grabbed my keys.

"In that case," I replied, because there wasn't much more to do, "see you around." I stood from the table, moved around the chair, patting Chris on the shoulder as I walked by and headed for the GTO across the street. From where I waited for the cars I could hear them arguing and the next thing I knew, a hand was grabbing my arm. I looked up at Dean, at the frustration in his eyes and then at the confusion about the way he touched me. "What?!"

"I wasn't done yet," he stated pointedly and I shook my head, snatching my arm away.

"The "You're lying" was a pretty good hint that you were." I answered and went to step out into the street, but he grabbed my wrist this time, sliding his hand down to mine.

"Yeah and you didn't let me finish my sentence," he stepped closer, what was with this man and personal space. We had just meet _again_ and here he was against my back and how I longed for that feeling, but he didn't remember. "Wanna come back and we can finish our conversation?"

I turned to look up at him, the hurt overflowing in my eyes and all I could do was shake my head. "Honestly, no, because what can you possible say to me after those words left your mouth?"

"Well, I'm sorry, for one," he answered and this had me shocked. Dean apologizing for anything that he truly meant was something I was floored at and I rubbed my head. "Listen, maybe I jumped too soon. Maybe I didn't listen, but it's a shock, you know."

"Yeah, try being me." I mumbled and pushed at his stomach, moving him back so that I could pass him and we both found our way to the chairs once again, this time Christian was looking up at me smiling. "Oh, quit gloating!"

"Wow, you're in a mood," he smiled and leaned in to whisper in my ear, "Maybe Dean would be a good substitute for Sam until he gets here."

"Screw off, Chris," I barked and Dean glanced between us as he sat down again, but there was a flicker in his green eyes that caught my attention. Jealousy? Protectiveness? I wasn't sure which one, but it was directed at his cousin, until it was suddenly gone.

"Hey, my offer still stands." The brown-haired man sat back and I let out a breath, rubbing my hands together.

We sat silent for a moment before I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small journal I had. I unwrapped the cord, flipped through the pages and finally let it rest on the one that I was looking for. It was an entry to April 17th, the morning after coming back from Tulsa, when I had just enough time to write something down before hopping in the car and taking off to Lawrence.

Taking a deep breath, I turned the book around, and slid it over to him.

 _April 17,_

 _I hate this, I hate feeling this way, I hate the not knowing, the anger at the fact that I want to kick his ass but pull him closer. I hate the way he looks at me when he thinks I'm not looking and I can't stand the way that he's always so overbearing. I swear if Sam wasn't there, I would take that boy and just… throttle him. The punch in the jaw wasn't enough to keep him away, hell, what I said about Charlie was "forgiven". I give up! I need to get away, need some space, but I can't, I just can't stay away from Dean. What's worse is that as much as I hate him for all those reason, I love him for them too. Crap, three days into this and I can't live without either Winchester, how does that happen?_

 _Dean Winchester is going to be the death of me, if his brother doesn't kill me first._

Dean looked up at me, the look of wonder in his eyes as he flipped through the rest of the journal. My heart was pounding because no one had read any of those entries, ever. He stopped every time his name was mentioned or if there was an entry about him. He was closed the book not more than twenty pages later and I watched as he rested his elbows on the table, ran his hands over his face and then put them flat on the glass.

With a frown he shook his head, looking around and I waited for whatever he was going to say next, but it seemed like he didn't have any words, or if he did, he was just going to keep them to himself. So that was my cue. I had given him everything I possibly could to help him understand that I wasn't lying and some of that information was about Stull, about Cas, about Charlie and the way she died and most importantly, the information about how I felt about both him _and_ Sam, but like I said, that was my cue.

I grabbed the book back and cleared my throat, taking his eyes off the road and back onto me. I took the journal, opened it again and flipped it to what I had put in there this morning. I looked up at him, his green eyes locking on mine and I watched as Christian leaned over to look at the way the drawing was set up.

"Can I ask you a question?" I whispered and watched the way Dean rolled his eyes. Yep, we were right back on course.

"Sure," he stated sarcastically.

"The case you're working on," I started and watched as Chris sat back, pretty positive that I was going to get myself into some deep crap that he would have to pull me out of.

"What about it?" And there was the attitude, like I had just stepped on his nice, new, shiny shoes. I turned the book around and let him see the things I had written. They were kind of like bullet points but the way they were set up, it was like reading a report.

 _Cause of death: asphyxiation_

 _No outward signs of struggle_

 _No outward signs of unlawful entry_

 _No demonic, spectral or supernatural signs detectable by EMF_

 _No physical abnormalities on the Vic_

His eyes glared up at me from over the top of the journal, before he lowered it slowly, his lips a thin line of anger and a mix of curiosity.

"So you got the coroner's report, so what? What am I supposed to do with this?" he questioned, but it was his tone of voice that told me I had hit on something that he had missed.

"She didn't get the report, Cuz," Christian sat forward and took the cup of coffee from the table. "I watched her write it this morning and I was with her all night."

"Am I supposed to be impressed, Chris?" he snarked and the two shared a grin, but I shook my head and snatched the book back.

"Well, considering she didn't know you were going to be in Upland until we left the parking lot of Jo's, I think impressed ought to be an understatement." The man beside me smiled and that little bit of information had Dean's eyes narrowing at me.

"Okay, so you got my case, so what?"

"You haven't figured out what it is yet, have you?" I questioned softly and watched as he picked up the mug.

"I got three deaths, Ali, and the same pattern that you described, but I haven't got anything that would point me as to why those people." He shrugged. "Nothing new, just got to work out the deets."

"Yeah, but Sam isn't with you. So what kind of timeline are you looking at?" I whispered and watched him raise a brow at my boldness. Giving him a minute, I kind of just sat there waiting, "Okay, so let's play twenty questions."

"What's your game?" Dean snapped and I literally kicked him under the table. "Ow!"

"There's no game. This is you and me discussing a case as hunters, Dean. Not trying to get on your good side, not trying to get in your jeans, just wanna get something off my chest and the only way to do that, is to give you what I got. So, you can take it or leave it." I replied and watched Christian smirk. I don't know why the guy thought everything was so damned funny. Dean looked over at Christian and shook his head.

"Okay," he said, his voice deep with a bit of mistrust. "What do you got?"

"So," I whispered and flipped to the information I had written down. "I'm going to assume that you have three vics that you know about, but that doesn't mean that there weren't more." This caught Dean's attention as well as Christian's since he was pulling the chair closer to the table. "The pattern for this over the years has been pretty wonky at best. I mean, you have three in a row leading up to, what? Nothing, there's not even a celestial event going on anytime soon. So, I dug back in the archives, or at least, I had Jones dig back."

"Jones?" Christian laughed, "does he even know how to operate a computer?"

I looked at the hazel eyed man beside me. "He could kick your ass at D&D if you ever got your elf-loving ass out of the forest!" I snapped at him and smiled since the one on Christian's face faded, but Dean looked at me confused. "Jones dug up a secret gamer account for your cousin on a Dungeon and Dragons website."

"Really?" Dean snarked and gave Christian a "you've got to be joking" kind of look, but the man beside me just shrugged. "So, a pattern, what kind of pattern."

"Every eight years or so there is a rise in deaths caused by suffocation, asphyxiation and other forms of breathing issues. Most are chalked up to sleep apnea or choking, a couple of them are listed as erotic, but they all fall around the same time every year, give or take."

"And this Jones guy got all of this for you?" Dean sat forward and reached out of the journal in front of me before I slowly slid it to him.

"Actually, he only got the old coroner reports. I kind of figured out what it was by myself." I admitted.

"What?" Dean looked up from flipping the pages and stared at me, "How?"

"A really loud nightmare," Christian growled and shook his head. I rolled my eyes at him and then went back to look at the way Dean's hand slowly turned the page. "Seriously, at first I thought it was a sex dream until the moaning turning into well, something else."

"SHUT UP!" I sneered at him through clenched teeth, but I was smiling as I did so since I was getting used to his teasing. "Listen, I know it's weird but I've been having dreams for days now. I just haven't told anyone, this thing, it's going to hit again and I'm pretty sure I know where."

"Do you even know what it is?" Dean questioned as he flipped the last page of the notes and came to a hand-drawn sketch of a goblin sitting on the chest of a woman. It was an old picture, one that just went with the creature, but didn't truly depict it. "A bakhtak? Seriously?"

"Night hag mythology is seen around the world and explains everything that we know is fact in this case. All of the points listed in there point right to it," I shrugged and sat back, waiting for him. Dean looked up at me from under his lashes, those green eyes locked on mine as he glanced over at his cousin once more.

"So, how sure are you that this is what I'm tracking?"

"Because I've seen it," I whispered and this was what made it a terrifying night, "it was sitting on your chest."

"Really?" he said in disbelief and then a smile formed on his lips, "do you actually think I'm that kind of amateur?"

"Listen, Dean," I sighed, leaned back in the chair and stretched to try and work out the stress in my shoulders. I was annoyed so I rubbed my eyes at the same time, but that got a sound from the man beside me and I sat up as fast as I could before I glanced over at him then the man across from me, who was giving me that look once again. The kind of look where you didn't know if you were dinner or dead. "Okay, so here's the thing. I don't know the content of the dream, just what I saw of it. Not the how or why, but I know the what and I know the where."

"Okay, so spill, how do we kill it?"

"Well, you have to summon it first," I answered, sat forward in the chair and flipped through the book, feeling the light touch of Christian's hand on the small of my back, a way to make me feel more grounded and I thought of Dean as I sucked in a breath. Yeah, they weren't related at all. "So," I cleared my throat, "like I said, you summon it, by saying the "Lord's Prayer" backwards."

"And then what?" Dean snapped and I looked up at him, staring into those green eyes as he also moved closer, the two of us not more than a foot apart and I could almost smell him, everything that made me remember who he was and I closed my eyes.

"Got any more of those witch killing bullets?" I smiled and watched as he raised an eyebrow. Yeah, this was going to be a long night.

Christian stood by the back quarter panel of the car, his arms crossed as I tossed things around in the backseat. I was trying to find something useful in the bag that I had put back there and also wanted to stuff my journal back in it's place. As I put back my journal I saw the photos of the boys, Danni and I standing next to the Impala.

I stood straight, put my hand on the roof of the car and sighed at the pictures. Christian looked over at them, turned more to get a better angle and I watched as he tilted his head out of the corner of my eyes.

"That her?" He questioned, and I gave him a slight smile.

"Yeah, that's Danni." I sighed and slid the picture closer, before he took it from my hand as if he wanted to inspect it closer. "Wish to hell I knew where she was."

"I'm sure information will pop up soon," he said softly, but there was just a small tone in his voice that I couldn't place. Both of us looked up as Dean made his way over from the car, lowering his phone and putting it in his pocket. "Sup, Cuz?"

"Sam's not going to be back this way for a few days, having some issues down south." Dean's eyes had locked on mine as Christian continued to look down at the photo and I watched as he reached by behind his back before taking my hand. Slowly Dean placed the Walther in my hand and wrapped my fingers around the handle. "You keep this, make sure you always have it loaded and we'll see where we go from here. If I gave it to you once, I did it for a reason."

"Yeah and it wasn't because you weren't the biggest pain in the ass I know." I mumbled and watched as a slight smile crossed his lips. "Dean, I…" I paused and shook my head, "You gotta do me a favor as this goes, cause I'm not sure how it works for you. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure it out for myself. Will you promise me if you remember anything, you'll tell me?"

"If I remember anything I'm sure you'll be the first to know because it will be a "what the hell" kind of situation." He smiled, and slowly let go of my hand. "So, what's the plan?"

I glanced over at Christian, snatched the photo from him and tossed it in the car before I took a step back and looked at both of them. "How do you guys feel about a slumber party?"


	74. DH Remembrance - 8

(not sure I beta-ed this one, please excuse the errors)

 **Chapter 8**

Can I braid your hair?

I searched the area on Google Earth for the house in my dream. While I knew the interior layout of the house by the way the dream had played out, I could also see the exterior as if I had walked up to it at some point during the sequence of events.

It was a small, one-story with clapboard siding, an off-white almost tan color with an overgrown trellis and a detached garage. Not that I really wanted to know every detail, but what I got from it was something I could use. Christian watched me from the chair across the table in the hotel room littered with Dean's things and he pushed an empty beer bottle across the surface, getting a look of annoyance from me as I glanced over the top of the keyboard.

Going back to the search I was able to narrow down the area to one neighborhood on the southside of town. At that point Christian started making noises with his mouth. He did it for about a minute before I couldn't take it anymore and I glared at him from the computer again.

"Dude! Seriously!" I snapped and listened to Dean laugh from the edge of the bed where he was cleaning his gun. I pushed the chair away and stood, made my way to the fridge and leaned over to look in, which was my first mistake. "Stop staring at my ass!" And this got a scoff from Dean and a little bit of laughter from Christian as I crouched down instead, which was mistake number two because there was my daughter's tattoo right about the waist of my jeans. "I can still feel you staring!"

"Hey, Ali," Dean spoke up, cutting the tension in the room as I stole a water out of the fridge before I closed it, sat down and leaned against the vibrating machine.

"Yeah," I whispered, putting my head back as I looked at him.

"What have you been doing all these months?"

Oh, God, did I even want to get into it? I looked down at the bottle in my hand and sighed. "Trying to break free."

"Of what?" the words were concern, confusion, which got me to look up at him again.

"I did something, I guess, something that I'm still trying to remember myself," I whispered, took a drink of the water to pause and shook my head. "It's kind of left a fog for me for a while. I think he said this was about the ninth time that I've broken through and apparently the only time it's stuck."

"So, what, all your memories were gone?" Christian questioned.

"Not so much gone as altered," I shrugged because that was as close as I could get to what I could remember. "We never met in those memories, you, me, Sammy and Danni, we didn't know each other."

"What changed it?" Dean questioned.

"A dream," I whispered, and my thoughts flashed back to what I could pull from it. "Sam and I were walking through some old apartment building. The place was deserted and completely torn up. It had been that way for a while. He had the gun and a knife, one that I didn't recognize. I knew you were close, but I don't think you were hunting."

"Was I bait?" Dean growled, "cause I hate being the bait!"

I smiled and shook my head, "I never got that far enough into it. I just know you were there and we were close to you. Anyway, something jumped from one of the rooms and Sam wrestled with it. I mean, the thing was as big as a bear but he was taking it on. The problem was, there was a second one. Smaller maybe, but not by much. It came after me and that distracted him. The thing swung catching Sam in the chest and the monster had him pinned." I cleared my throat and took a second to catch my racing heart. "He shot it, I know that, because he was suddenly pushing the damn thing off him before he turned the gun towards me and pulled the trigger."

" _At_ you?" Dean's voice was filled with shock, but I just shrugged.

"I don't know, as soon as the gun fired, I woke up saying his name," I rubbed my forehead and adjusted where I sat. "That was when I started to remember again." I stood from the spot and made my way over to the computer where I slapped at Christian's legs to get them off the chair. "So, I think I narrowed down where this house is."

It was time for a subject change, because the more I looked at Dean the more tempted I was to touch him and that itch was driving me crazy. Christian kicked my shin lightly and I looked up at him, watching the way his brow went up. The non-verbal cues I had been picking up from Christian had made him much easier to read. This kick was a _what the hell_ in my direction and my response was a resounding _just drop it_ look right back at him.

"Okay, you sure you two don't need some alone time?" Dean spoke up and both of us whipped our heads in his direction. Christian grinned, raised an eyebrow in my direction and I just shook my head. "Seriously, because the tension between the two of you is really starting to bug me."

"Jealous or turned on?" I questioned, going back to the computer and just that quickly I could smell his aftershave close to my cheek. Dean leaned over me from behind, pressing his chest to my shoulders and while I knew he wanted to say something along the lines of the comment, I watched his finger reach up and point out a house.

"That's it." He growled low in my ear and I expanded the screen. Sure as hell, that was the house in my dreams, but how did he… "That was the house they found the woman in two years ago."

"Right, one of those _not your pattern_ deals," I replied and grabbed the journal flipped it open and looked at the names I had been collecting. "Mary Alquist, 247 Melbrooke Avenue, died two years ago this week, and that's the house from my dreams."

"You sure you didn't dream this up _after_ you looked up her name?" he asked sarcastically and I turned my head towards that cheek, barely missing his skin with my lips and I whispered to him.

"Stay here or don't, Winchester, I don't give a crap, but tonight I'm going in there, with or without you." I pushed back the chair, bumping him back and out of my way as I grabbed the keys and made my way out of the room.

"Way to piss her off, Dean!" Christian snapped.

I heard his boots on the walk just as I opened the door to the GTO. "Hey! Where are you going?"

I turned around and looked at Dean, one foot already on the floorboards of the car and I shrugged. "For a drive, maybe, possibly to a bar. I don't know, but right now I don't want to be near you."

"What the hell did I say?" I took a deep breath, closed my eyes for a moment to regroup and cleared my throat.

"It's not what you said," I whispered, "it's what you did." Okay, so that got him to give me an even more screwed up look as I shook my head. "You're not going to remember it so it doesn't matter, but when you do, you'll get it."

"Doesn't explain crap to me, Porter." He growled and stepped closer. I watched him reach out when he was just the right distance away and his fingers went down my upper arm. A gesture that I looked down at, which caught his attention and he fisted up his hands. "You have a pull on me," he said softly, "something I don't particularly care for, but I know it's towards you. Now, I want one answer and one answer only from you before I drop it until I start remembering or whatever you expect me to be doing."

"Okay," was all I gave him.

"What was I to you?" I watched the confusion in his eyes, because I know that was how he felt. I watched him lick his lips, then worry the bottom one just a little before his eyes locked on the hand that I had placed on the door. "I keep getting this vision and it's bothering the hell out of me, because if we were so close, why would I have thought of doing anything like it."

"What vision?" Now my curiosity was amped up.

"I had you against a wall, knife to your throat and all I can feel is this overwhelming urge," his eyes moved to lock on mine.

"To kill me?" I smiled.

"To save you," he whispered, "to protect you, to take on the world for you…" He fought to find the words for a moment, before his lips parted, "to put you before anything else."

"Except Sam," I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, that kind of sums up what you were to me."

"But," he stopped me quickly before I slipped down in the seat and I turned my gaze up to him as he leaned over the door. "Why?"

"Because, Dean," I grinned, "we were family."

"Family doesn't feel like that, Ali," he whispered.

"We're not exactly normal." I replied, and pulled the door shut, getting him to back off before I cranked the engine over, gave him a quick salute and pulled out of the parking lot.

I shouldn't have left Dean, probably shouldn't have left Christian either, especially since the little bastard had jacked my number and wouldn't stop texting me, but I had to get out. So here I sat, leaning against the grill of the GTO, a cup of coffee in my hand thinking about the memory that Dean had. One that I remembered, but the hazy feelings around it were still there. Dean with me against a wall and a knife involved couldn't be anything but bad, but then again, Dean with me against a wall at any point in this line of thinking couldn't be anything but very, very bad!

I was still working out the level of need that I had for him, the strange feeling of craving his touch and while I knew that it wasn't a sexual thing, it still made me wonder just what the hell it was. I didn't lie to him, we were family. At least, that was everything that we had been up until I had left for home that week in April, so where was this new vision coming from, this new memory?

 _I could smell the scent of his cigarette, listened to the way he exhaled and I closed my eyes, placing my head back against the wall. A moment past, the sound of him taking it in and breathing it out filled me and I felt the beat of my heart slow as I concentrated on that sound, let it fill me, until the scent of him was too close and I could feel the cold metal edge of a blade against the skin of my throat._

" _Do it," I whispered, keeping my eyes closed as I suddenly felt the heat of his body. He was pressing against me, keeping me locked to the wall, my arms crossed under his weight and the security of the blanket. I wasn't a threat to him, but when I opened my eyes I could almost see the light in him, the way his blood flowed and I blinked it away as fast as I could and then repeated my words. "Do it."_

" _Do you really have that much of a death wish?" He questioned and I felt his resolve falter. My heart dropped and I licked the dryness of my lips, breathing in deeply to take him in. "What are you doing here?"_

" _I was called here," I whispered and my eyes flashed towards the corner of the building. "Her binding spell, her thoughts, they called out to me. Your heart… its beat, I can hear it in my head."_

His heartbeat? I could hear his heart beating? What the hell kind of power was I hopped up on? From what I got from the memory I was just as dangerous as being close to him was becoming, but the thought of the blade in his hands, the one that was pressed against me brought on another memory and this one, this one, really sent me for a loop.

 _Dean had fallen to his knees, but I still heard the way his knife lifted from the ground and mine was instantly at his throat._

 _My hand grasped hold of his hair, yanking his head back as the edge of the blade rested under Dean's chin. My breathing heavy from the exertion, but I smiled at the clever man because as I held him still at the head his hand had managed to come up and the edge of his demon blade lay pressed against the main artery that ran the length of the inside of my thigh. His other hand gripped the outside of the same one tightly and I could feel his fingers digging in._

" _What do you have, some sort of twisted case of Stockholm's?" I growled at him, giving his hair a tug, and I looked down at his bruised cheek, the blood that streamed from his split lip. "How did you find me?"_

" _I heard your heartbeat," Dean whispered and shook his head, suddenly stopping as the movement twisted the hair in my fingers, causing him more pain. "Ali," his voice was pleading and his fingers kneaded the tight muscle in my thigh as he looked up at me, "you need to stop this."_

" _So you keep saying, but it isn't going to stop Dean. It isn't going to go away!" I leaned down as I felt the blade on my leg slip away and then it fell against the concrete._

 _I breathed into his ear, shivering at the feeling of him so close, but he needed to know just how dangerous this was, how dangerous I had become and I pressed my lips there, close enough so that he could hear the growl in my voice._

" _Stay. Away. From me!" I snapped at him, but didn't move away._

 _My lips brushed against him, his warm breath seemed to fill me as I took in the taste of him. Dean was a warrior through and through and the feel of his mouth against mine was almost too much. Just the brush of them together wouldn't be enough, he would see through that, but he might associate it with the demon in the warehouse. No, I needed more. My free hand captured him under his chin as the one in his hair tightened and I kissed him with everything I had. It wasn't passion, it wasn't need, it was anger, pure and simple, but he leaned up into it as my tongue traced his lips and the kiss deepened._

 _I growled against him, a deep-throated thing that made me sound possessive and suddenly I backed away, releasing him from my hold and with my body exhausted and fighting to stay standing I wiped the blood from under my lips with the back of my hand. His eyes were locked on mine, searching for something human and I let the power flicker across, let the vision change to see that I wasn't coming back, not anytime soon and his eyes went wide._

" _Next time, Dean, I won't take that blade away, so stop listening to my heart, stop following that vibration. Because the next time you and I meet like this, you better be ready to use that blade. Ali won't be here anymore!"_

I felt the tears in my eyes as the darkness raged through me, I could feel it in every fiber of my being, and slowly I let out a breath. What the hell had I done? What had I become? Kissing Dean? _DEAN?_ Telling him to stay away, telling him that I wouldn't be there anymore. What the hell didn't I remember about the rest of the week?

My lips quivered as I slowly brushed the tears from my cheek and shook my head. This was starting to be one of the worst ideas I had ever come up with. _I should have listened to Cas,_ my thoughts whispered to me for about the thousandth time since I had arrived. _I should have never come to find them._

Christian looked at me as pulled into the lot. The Impala was gone and only the Grand Am sat in its spot, but he was looking pretty pissed off. I cut the engine, got out and slowly made my way towards him, intending to walk past, but he caught my arm, making me glance up at him and he sighed.

"He left right after you did… to check out the house." He explained casually, but I just smiled and shook my head.

"I don't care." I sighed and watched as he gave me that small little grin.

"Yeah you do or you wouldn't have bothered to come looking for him in the first place." He had a point and he dropped his hold so that I was finally able to walk inside.

The whole room smelled like Dean with a hint of Christian, especially when I went to lay down on the bed that he had been sitting on before. Why two double beds when he was hunting alone? Not something I wanted to really know or cared to know, but when I put my head on the pillow I instantly rolled onto my stomach and pressed my nose into it. Yep this was definitely his bed.

"I need sleep, Chris," I whispered and most of it was mumbled by the fabric, but I heard him snicker.

"Yeah, ya do," he replied and pulled the chair closer to the bed so that he could look out the window, but he stayed close. "I'll keep an eye out, you get some rest."

"I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself." I growled at him the best I could as the heaviness of sleep started to take me.

"Oh, of that I have no doubts, Kid, no doubts at all." His voice faded off as I fell into the blackness, thankful for a dreamless sleep, but it was the voices in the room that had me coming to or at least to just this side of consciousness and I realized just how many times my brain let me do this and still catch enough REM sleep to function. Christian's voice came through first, since he seemed so close. "You know you can't work the case and figure this crap out on your own, Man, right?"

"We've been doing just fine without her, Chris, it wouldn't be like anything changed." Dean's voice was full of emotions, definitely confusion. "Look, it's not that I don't want to help her find… whoever, or whatever she's looking for, but another liability? I don't think I could take another hunter's death on my conscious."

"This one isn't going anywhere and you know it," Christian's sarcastic tone was almost a laugh. "I don't think she's as weak as you believe, Dean."

"I don't think she's weak!" he snapped, "I never said she was weak. In fact," he paused, "I think she's the furthest thing from it. I just don't know why and I don't like not knowing why."

"I know, man of action and details, I keep forgetting you're a closet genius."

"Man, I wish Sam was here." Dean sighed and I heard his phone tap on the table.

"Yeah, well, I'm kinda glad he's not."

"You two really need to get past this crap and get over it. We're family, we're all we got left."

"Right," the change in Christian's voice had me on edge. What the hell had happened? "If I did to you what he did to me, you think you would be able to _get over it_?" Oh, I was curious now. "It was only two years ago, Dean."

"Yeah, I know, two years and a girl you barely knew." Dean's voice sounded as if he were about to laugh, but definitely had a smile on his face. "I'm not playing it off, but you knew her for all of about a week before Sam came home."

"And boom, he was on her like a leach."

"I'm not going to defend my brother against something like this, he's a big kid, he can do it himself, but really, we need each other, all of us. You, me, Jo and Sam. We're all we got left."

"Not true," and I heard Dean sigh. "You have her now, you have Cas, if you would get your head out of your ass and talk to him."

Cas? Christian knew about Cas?

"I don't know where he disappeared to after Dad…" Dean paused, "look it doesn't matter, prayer is a two-way street. I pray, he shows up, I call, he answers… silence on either end, doesn't work that way."

"Maybe he's been preoccupied with something else."

"What else could an angel be preoccupied with? I mean, it's not like he's got a romantic interest. I can barely get him to look at a chick in a short skirt, forget him getting involved with someone romantically." Dean scoffed.

"When did you start caring about who Cas was shacking up with?" Christian laughed.

"I don't know, something he said in Virginia gave me the impression that he was preoccupied with someone and it wasn't Dad." Hmm, wonder who he was talking about right there? "I mean, I'm glad we made up, it's cool. I appreciate all he did to keep Dad out of trouble, but it's been over two months. Where the hell did he go?"

"If I could venture to guess," Christian started and that was the end of his sentence.

"No way!" Dean snapped rather quickly. "No… no, you're joking right?"

"Think about it, Dean, really, something made her forget, something is helping her remember. If that doesn't sound like some major angel mojo, then honestly." Christian's speculations were more on target than he knew, but I wasn't going to confirm them. Or deny them for that matter, but I knew one thing, I wasn't going to be the one to bring him up.

"You think Cas was swinging it with Ali?"

"No, Man, she's got some hardcore feelings for you and your brother, there's no way she would even think of Cas," I heard him take in a breath, "But that doesn't mean he wasn't there helping her."

"You know for once, I wish he wouldn't be such a dick and come out and ask for help." Dean's growl made me want to smile, but I was content to listen. "So, if he was helping her, why isn't he here now? Why not just give her back everything instead of her piecing stuff together? You should have seen her face, I mean, there were moments today when you could tell she was trying to catch something, but it was just slipping back."

"I didn't know you were watching her that hard."

"Shut up!" But he was right, I didn't notice either. "Yeah, I was watching her, I can't help it. I don't get it and I don't like it. I don't like needing someone this bad, Chris and the fact that I don't understand it really has me on edge." I heard a bottle hit the table. "It's affecting me and that's just going to get in the way."

"She's not a liability, Dean, she's a hunter and if that werewolf in Summerford was any indication, she's a hell of a good one."

"How the hell did she get out of your sight. I told you to watch her."

"Yeah, well, she's a slippery one." He had turned towards me because his voice was just a bit louder.

"Going out for a smoke, we got stuff to do, might want to wake her up." Dean replied and I heard the door open.

"What's the matter, afraid of a little skin to skin?" Christian teased.

"I'm afraid of a lot of things, skin to skin ain't one of them, but with her," he paused. "It's intense, okay, it's just intense."

With that the door closed and after a moment, felt the weight on the bed and Christian's finger against my temple.

"I know you're not sleeping, but if you don't open your eyes I might just have to lick your face!"

And with that my eyes were open. I was staring at him as he squatted down with his chin on the bed not two feet from me.

"You're gross!" I mumbled and rolled over away from him. I heard him stand and suddenly, he slapped me across the ass hard enough for it to sting something awful. Glaring at him as I rolled over, he winked and headed towards the bathroom. "ASSHOLE!"

"You know it, baby!" he stated before he closed the door and I grabbed the pillow to put it over my face, rubbing my hand on the tingling part of my cheek as I moaned.

The phone was set on the table, my knee was bouncing and I was writing in my journal, copying the Lord's Prayer as legibly as possible so that I didn't have a hard time reading it backwards when the time came, but it was Jones flipping through pages on the speaker that was starting to get on my nerves.

"Jones!" I snapped and this got Dean and Christian to look up at me as the pages stopped flipping and I took a deep breath. "You're not helping, pick a page and stay on it for two seconds."

"What's got your bra all knotted up?" Dean questioned and I rolled my eyes and my head in his direction.

"Ever try to write a prayer backwards?" I snapped, watched Christian smile and shake his head, before I went back to the words on the computer screen. "Jones, tell me you got something? You've been flipping through books for an hour and we're getting down to the wire."

"Okay, this is what I got for ya," he said as he cleared his throat. "The Night Hag, summoned by reciting the Lord's Prayer backwards at the witching hour by… huh, didn't see that one coming."

"Oh, God, what now?" I growled.

"Looks like you might be waiting another night to do this, Angel." He said with a bit of sadness. "Calls for dandelion tops, mallow and Rowan berries."

"Easy enough," Christian spoke up, as if it were no problem what-so-ever to find Rowan anything in the middle of the night in Indiana, but I watched as he got up and grabbed his keys. "Anything else on that herb list, Jones?"

"You goin' out?" The older man questioned.

"I know someone who knows a little something," Chris smiled.

"Okay, you're gonna need some stones too, so I'll text them to you, Gandalf." I was the one that smiled this time as the grin faded from the man in the room, who shook his head and headed out the door. "Okay, now this is where it gets tricky. Ali, you're gonna need some help."

"I got Dean, isn't that torture enough?" I looked over at the green-eyed man who was polishing his gun.

"He's not going to do you any good," and this made Dean stop, "you need two other ladies to help."

"Son of a bitch!" I sighed and put my head down on the table.

"You just need their voices looks like," he laughed and I picked my head up.

Just their voices? Huh! I think I knew just who to call…


	75. DH Remembrance - 9

**Chapter 9**

Tit for Tat too

Dean sat in his usual way at the edge of the bed with his knees wide and elbows down on his thighs as he listened to me practice the stupid prayer over and over. We only needed the voices, but there was no way I was getting this down in the next two hours and I finally had it and stopped recording. Tossing the pen on the table I turned in my chair and looked at him, catching the way he eyed me over.

"I never thought I would say that an exorcism was easier to perform than this crap!" I huffed and ran my hand through my hair.

"Summoning demons isn't supposed to be easy, you know." Dean grinned.

"You would think it would be though," I mimic the way he sat for just a moment, before getting up to stretch. "You would think that they would want you to bring them into the world and make it harder to take them out, not the opposite."

"You think exorcising demons is easy?"

I stopped when he said this. Having passed him I was now standing in front of the second bed with my back to him. I tucked my hands into the back of my jeans before I spun on my heels, walked over and sat next to him on the bed, having the sudden need to be close to him. Dean looked down at me, but he didn't move.

"It's becoming easier," I whispered, my eyes met his. "The first time I tried, I forgot the words, nearly had my ass handed to me. Now, I can recite it like it's a song, second nature. Yeah, it's not supposed to be easy, but it is."

"Hmm," he said softly, "you kinda sound like Sammy," but I could hear the loneliness in his voice.

"How long have you two been apart? I mean, usually it's the Sam and Dean show and to find out you're working separate cases… what happened?" I watched him lower his head, his eyes locking onto his fingers as he picked at his nail of his middle finger.

"Ah," he smiled, "we got into it. Nothing major, I thought this one was our kind of thing and he didn't. He blew up, found one further south and we decided that maybe we needed a break."

"A break?" I said in disbelief and he sat up to look me in the eyes. He stared into them for a second, but then that gaze lowered to my lips before coming back up and I moved over just a little bit, putting some distance between us. Unfortunately, it got a different reaction than I thought it would, he frowned. "Look, Dean, no offense, but the closer I sit to you, the more I want to…"

"And that's a bad thing?"

"It's not sex," I growled and stood up shaking my head. "I mean, you felt it right? You said it yourself, you have a pull towards me. Well, it's the same way for me. I need you and I don't know why because it's always been there and I just accept it, but…" I closed my eyes, "sometimes it's too much."

"But it's not sex," he smiled.

"If it was, do you honestly think you would be sitting there dressed?" I snapped and his eyes grew wide with a smile, but the words had escaped me and I know I turned three different shades of red. "When we first met, you told Sam that you had a feeling about me…"

"I don't go on feelings, Ali," he stated lowly.

"Yeah, I get that and Sam said the same thing, _since when do you go on feelings_ and it was probably because I wasn't giving into you." I smiled and watched his eyes lock on mine.

"Not once?", he asked. I shook my head. "Something this strong and not once have we…"

"I told you, it's not that way." I shrugged, but I couldn't tell him about Sam, not yet. "You said it was a need to protect me, to keep me close and that it's just that, a need, but… we still don't know where it's from."

"You think it's magic, you know, someone playing with a spell?"

"No, after five months, especially with the time we were apart and now without the memories, the spell would have run its course." I said softly and scratched the back of my head. "If this is how I have to live to keep you near, Dean, I'm okay with that, just as long as I know you're part of me."

"I wish I could say that, Ali," he stood and placed his hands on my shoulders before moving them up closer to my neck, his thumbs caressing the pulse there, "but until I remember more or get comfortable enough with this whole screwed up idea, I can't promise anything."

"I know," I sighed and he let me go, one hand releasing me slowly as his fingers trailed over my collarbone before he disappeared outside. He was doing exactly what his body told him to, crave the touch, give in, but he didn't even realize it and my heart skipped a beat.

I paced the parking lot, looked at my watch and sighed. Where the hell were they? When I called they said they weren't that far off, so how far off was not that far off?

It was then that I watched a little "peanut" of a car pull into the hotel and I shook my head. How did I know she hadn't done what I suggested? Which _was get a new car_ , but Birdy was tough, machetes and all, and I smiled as it came to a halt in front of me.

Birdy stepped out first, her short-cropped hair helped keep the baddies from grabbing a hold of her but it was also brought out the blueness of her eyes and she stripped the coat off to leave on the front seat.

Out of the passenger's side Reese, lovingly going by the name of Arrow by those of us who knew her and her infatuation with the sharp pointy projectiles, shook her head as she looked at me in classic fashion. Yeah, they had made it here in record time and she was just about to kill Birdy for it, but she grinned as she approached and wrapped me in a hug.

"We were surprised to hear from you little sis," she said lovingly, because, yeah, I was every one of Jones' hunters' little sister. Birdy came over and hugged me to.

"I'm just glad you could make it on such short notice. I know this is a little bit…" I started, but Arrow put her hand on my cheek.

"This is you Ali." Arrow laughed. "Every request you've ever made has been a little odd."

I smile at her hoping that she wouldn't think anything of it as I turned and walked into the room where the boys were sitting. Dean on the bed and Christian at the table in his usual position with his feet up on the other chair.

The boys paid attention as the three of us walked into the room. They were just staring at the girls as the girls stared back at them, but I cleared my throat and decided that, yeah, introductions definitely were in order.

"Dean, Christian, this is Birdy and Arrow, two of the finest Hunters that you can find on the east coast." I smiled and watched as they exchanged hellos, but Dean looked at me just a little bit funny as I sat down next to him on the bed. Turning to look at all four of the people that now occupied the room with me, I took a deep breath and decided it was time to explain exactly what was going on. "So, this is what I called you for. We have a Night Hag issue and the only way to summon one is for three women to sit in a circle and sing Kumbaya the stroke of midnight backwards."

"I didn't come here to sing campfire songs," Arrow spoke up and leaned against the door with her arms crossed which made me laugh. "Are you going to tell us what we really came here for, or are you just going to yank our chain."

"Okay, so it's not exactly Kumbaya," I admitted and watched her roll her eyes, "it's more of the Lord's Prayer backwards."

"And exactly why would we want to call a Night Hag anywhere in the vicinity of where we're standing?" Birdy questioned.

"Because people are dying." Dean spoke up. "We got three dead so far, a laundry list of potential victims in the past eight years and no way of stopping this. Unless we do it this way, we never know when it's going to show up and we don't know where it's going to be. So, the best way to do it, is to summon it to us."

"Okay," Arrow spoke up. "So, we're going to summon a witch in the middle of nowhere to gank it?"

"Yeah that's pretty much the gist of it." Christian added. "If you ladies don't think you can handle it, we can take care of it on our own." And this remark got an eye roll from Arrow, which made me giggle, but I watched as Dean gave me a dirty look. "Just saying."

"So when do we do this." Birdy questioned and that got me to smile as I bumped Dean with my arm.

For the next 20 minutes, I explained to Birdy and Arrow exactly what the plan would entail. After we were all clear on the plan, we decided it was time to head out. Being the Good Samaritan that he was, Christian decided that it would be best to go with the girls in their car and I was stuck with Dean in the Impala.

"You gonna be okay?" He questioned as he watched the road and not me for the first time that day, but this got just a scoff from me as I slipped the gun out of my belt and checked the mags.

"Sure, I mean we're only going to a house from my dreams where I watched a goblin sit on your chest and practically squash the life out of you, what could I possibly not be okay with?" I growled and suddenly felt his hand brush mine before he put it back on the steering wheel. "I'll be better when it's over and I can finally say "Yay, my dreams aren't prophetic at all,"."

He had nothing to say in return, what could he say, I was being perfectly honest. This house, this case, scared the living crap out of me and mostly because in the dream there wasn't anything I could do to stop Dean from dying.

The house looked exactly like it did in the picture, there was no disputing that. This was the house from my dreams. It made my hands shake to grab the door and push it open, but the older Winchester was there by my side the instant I stepped foot onto the property. I could feel his hand on the small of my back before I glanced up at him.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked in a low voice close to my ear.

"I'm not sure I want to do any of this." I replied and watched as he handed me the Spectrum blade.

"Well, keep this besides you and know that I'll be just down the hall." That light whisper against my cheek told me everything I needed to know, he would never leave my side and if he had to he would always be there to protect my back.

The layout of the house was exactly like my dreams. As you entered through the front door the living room was off to your right, just through the living room on the left was the kitchen and a hallway took up the main space.

Birdy and Arrow set down our supplies in the middle of the living room while Christian made his way down to the first bedroom on the left just past the den. I follow Dean past the room Chris had ducked in and noticed that the entrance in the kitchen, to the third bedroom, and the one that I had found him in where exactly in the same location as in my dream.

I stopped at the door of the middle bedroom, the one directly at the end of the hall, and I started to shake. Did I really want Dean to go in there alone? Did I really want him to deal with the Night Hag like he did in my dream? Couldn't I just keep him safe and out of this hunt? I don't understand why it had to be him at all. Why couldn't it have been me?

Dean turn to look at me after opening the door and he paused before he reached up and touched my cheek with the pads of his fingers. Feeling the heat from his hand, I leaned into his touch. How could I ever get used to the feeling of having him so close and did I even want too?

"You can do this, Kid." He whispered to me and I felt his forehead against my temple as I closed my eyes.

Yeah, this wasn't making it any easier to have to do what I needed to get this case done and off our shoulders. What exactly was he thinking? Just a little earlier that day he wasn't sure if he even wanted to trust me or the feelings that he was getting, and now he wouldn't step a foot away from me without some sort of contact.

"I don't know Dean, I think this is a bad idea." I whispered keeping it between the two of us, but just then my cell phone beeped and I looked at the time. We had a half an hour to get this show on the road and I knew that there was no way I was going to leave him there, if he didn't stop touching me.

"I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere, Ali." I listened to him sigh before he stepped into the darkness and close the door until it was only open about an inch. Just like it had been in my dream.

Taking a deep breath, I turned and walked back towards the living room where the girls were sitting. I paused briefly to check in on Christian, who is lounging on the bed as if nothing were about to happen. His hands locked behind his head, his feet crossed at the ankles and his eyes closed.

"Gee, it looks like you're taking this pretty seriously," I stated sarcastically and watched as he opened one of his eyes only to give me a half-cocked smile.

"Yeah, well, someone's going to have to do the dirty work. Might as well be you, because I am kicking back. This was Dean's case and you picked up on it. So, that makes it you guys' case. But just holler if you need backup." He winked at me before he gave me a thumb's up as I was about to leave the room, but I paused for a second because something just felt a little off. He watched me stop and this made him curious, which got him to sit up and look at me. "What's going on?"

"I don't know, the air just feels strange," I whispered as I looked around the room and then down the hallway. I didn't see and hear anything, but I couldn't shake the strange sensation that was running down my spine. I shook it off. Maybe it was just the wind or maybe it was just my thoughts about this whole process. I gave him a smirk, a slight wave and closed the door as I left.

When I entered the living room Birdy and Arrow already had the candles, the bowl, the herbs, and the stones all set up around the pentagram that was drawn on the floor. Taking a deep breath, I squatted down next to them and got comfortable on the dusty wooden floor.

"Are you sure this is everything we need?" Arrow questioned.

I looked around and checked the time before turning my sights back on her. Even Birdy looked a little anxious as we sat there and waited. My cell phone beeped; 11:55, almost time. I handed out the papers to the two of them and took a deep breath.

"Okay, so just do this like you would any other prayer. Keep it light, keep it simple and if you mess up, just keep going that's why there's three of us here." I watched as Arrow lit the candles and Birdy placed the ingredients in the bowl, as I recited it for the first time. "NEMA! LIVEE, MORF SU REVILLED TUB NOISHAYTPMET OOTNI TON SUH DEEL SUS TSHAIGA SAPSERT TAHT YETH. VIGRAWF EU ZA SESAPSERT RUA SUH VIGRAWF DERB ILAID RUA YED SITH SUH VIG NEVEH NI SI ZA THRE NI NUD EEB LIW EYTH MUCK MODNGIK EYTH MAIN EYTH EEB DWOHLAH NEVAH NI TRA CHIOO. RETHARF RUA!"

"That's not at all creepy." Arrow stated as we looked at the paper one more time. "Okay how many times are we supposed to say this?"

"Three times on the witching hour." I replied.

"And this makes any sense how?" Birdie question has she looked at my handwriting. "Half of these words aren't even spelled right."

"I wrote it phonetically." I replied with some attitude. "You got to figure I had Dean and Christian to contend with. If anyone had to do this with them, it had to be in a way that they'd understand it and I'm sorry, but if you're going to say Heaven backwards you're going to have to spell it nevah and because as much as Dean as a genius, Christian is a pain in my ass."

"Okay I get it." Birdy smiled when I said Dean was a genius, and that made me think she had a small crush on him, but I needed this done and I needed to not say anything although some part of me fell a little sting of jealousy.

As the clock struck midnight the three of us joined hands, looked down at the papers before us and began reciting the Lord's Prayer. Three times we went through this whole thing trying to keep every word correct. When one of us messed up a little bit the other two picked up the pace and by the end of the third time around we had it pretty much set.

Sitting back we waited, there wasn't much else to do. Birdy stretched, Arrow looked around the room and I sat just waiting. It was then that we heard the noise, like a cackle of a witch. Moving slowly to my feet and whispering to the girls to stay there and make sure nothing put candles out. They needed to keep burning.

Gun drawn, I made my way down the hallway just as I did in my dream. It was like deja vu but I knew exactly where I was headed this time. I didn't bother to stop and check on Christian. I didn't even bother to check the third bedroom. Instead, I kicked open the door to the middle room, the one that Dean had been hiding in.

Had I missed something? Had he snuck out? Because the room was completely empty. Making my way around the edge of the bed towards the window I checked to see if he had duck down behind the bed or if he had been tossed there, but again there was nothing. In fact, it was void of all sound of any wind and as I turned to head back towards the door I spotted the movement in the corner.

I saw his feet kicking the floor with his boots trying to catch a grip on the hardwood, but the bottom of the soles just kept sliding. Whatever was above him was blocking his face from view and I knew Dean was having a hard time. As I moved up on it, I released the safety, put back the slide and hoped that it didn't hear, but that hope vanished as at the instant it clicked into place the Night Hag turned me.

It wasn't like anything I had seen before. The pictures in the books and on Google had not captured what this thing looked like in the very least. Have you ever seen Ghostbusters? The haggard old lady in the library, the one that tells the boys to shush as they walk up on her and the way that her hair flies out everywhere as her jaw opens in a scream. Yeah, that's what this thing looked like.

Her face was sunken at the cheeks, her eyes were hollowed in black and her mouth opened unnaturally in a long "o" that reminded me of the Scream mask from those terrible B movies. Okay, I take that back, they weren't terrible, but still she kind of look like that but with more... it was terrifying.

I wanted to scream, but when I looked past it at Dean, I could see the paleness of his face and the way that he struggled to breathe. No matter which way she was looking, at me or otherwise, all of her weight was set on his chest. I had to move and I had to move quickly.

I fired off a round, but missed. I'm not quite sure exactly where the bullet went, but I know that it didn't touch her and then I remembered the dream. I had to fire at the body. I had to make sure that it was going into the part connected to Dean.

" _I'm sorry_ ," I whispered as I aimed the gun right for his chest, right at the blackened area that connected him to the Night Hag. I watched as the first bullet connected and just like in the dream parts began to fly. Two more rounds and I could see the color returning to his skin, but it also caught the attention of the witch itself.

Before I could blink it was coming at me. There was no time to move and nowhere to go as I turned to make for the edge of the bed. I felt the hag grab the length of my hair in twist and I was being yanked back with so much force I was thrown into the door and I watched as she came down on me.

The feeling of the weight on my chest was almost too much and I knew that this was the end if Dean couldn't get up to help. The gunshots should have alerted Christian, they should have brought the girls, but no one was coming. There were no footsteps in the hallway, no rush voices calling out. There was just the sound of my heart beating in my ear.

My lungs struggled to expand as the air began to press out of them and I could feel the darkness starting to surround me. This was it, this was the part of my dream that I had seen. Except, it wasn't Dean, this time it was me. I was the one lying across the bed, I was the one with the blood dripping from my lips and I was going to be the one in a wooden box.

It was then that I noticed that the hag had moved and that the weight on my chest was lifted. It had turned its attention back to Dean. Maybe he was an easier target or maybe he was already too far gone. I didn't really understand it, but what I saw next really confused me.

I watched a woman come closer. It was as if she didn't exist in this world at all and she scanned over the witch for just a second before she moved closer to me. I pushed myself back as far as I could go using what was left of my strength to sit up against the door and she crouched down in front of me.

It was odd to look at her because she was so familiar, but I knew I had never seen her before. She had long wavy brown hair, almost black, bright cerulean eyes that reminded me of Castiel and the smile that crossed her red lips could be taken as either friendly or menacing, there was no inbetween.

She wore mostly black, hiding the rest of her body from me except for the maroon tank top that you could see underneath her black jacket. I watched as she reached out a hand, picked up my limp right one from my lap and I was startled by the feeling of warmth that came from her as she ran her own thumb across the ball of mine.

I noticed the tender touch of her skin and I wondered exactly who she was and why she felt so familiar. That was when she did it, she grabbed my hand with her free one and used that thumb to press down where I had felt the ball in my muscle earlier.

At the place she pressed down I started to feel heat beneath the skin and then suddenly it became a searing pain that I tried to back away from, but the wall was in my way.

 _Remember._

Her voice seemed to be a whisper in my mind or maybe against my ear, but she hadn't moved. She was still staring at me with those eyes. Remember? Remember what? She smiled at me then stood and I watched as she walked away disappearing into the night, into the darkness. I swallowed hard trying to regain what little air I had left.

That was when I noticed that Dean was still pressing against the wall, his face turning a pale blue color and his lips were almost purple. My hand reached for the gun, feeling around in the empty space until I found the cold metal of the handle and with one unsure shot, I squeezed the trigger.

Somehow, I managed to do just what I had aim to do. I hit it dead center right in its heart as it raised up to turn its head towards me. With a howl, the witch moved away from Dean and I watched as he took a deep breath. She came flying at me and I raised the gun once more, aiming for the exact same spot that I had it already hit it. I fired three times. Three seem to be my lucky number, because she came to a screeching halt and screamed just before she burst into flames.

I blocked my eyes from the bright light until it died down enough that I could move and in an instant I was beside Dean, gathering him into my arms. He fought to catch a breath. I leaned my head back against the wall, holding him tightly to me as his hands gripped my shirt with all he had and I placed my finger against his pulse, just to feel it beat.

Minutes seem to pass before Birdy, Arrow and Christian made it into the room. By then Dean had been able to catch his breath and his heart rate was normal, but he hadn't released his grip on my shirt, nor had he moved from the spot where he lay with his head on my lap. Not that I minded it, because I wasn't moving at all either. I was bound and determined to keep him as close as I could for as long as I could.

Dean stood outside the door to the hotel as Christian, Birdy and Arrow stood just a little further away. I could tell from the reflection in the mirror that Dean had one ear on what was going on with me and one on the group outside, but my mind was on what had happened in the room.

She had grabbed me by the hair and flung me back. That one weakness was something I couldn't live with. I pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail so that it hung close to my shoulders. Picking up the Spectrum blade from the counter, I took my hair and with one hand sliced through it without resistance. Placing both the hair and the blade on the bathroom sink, I looked up in the mirror at Dean who stood behind me.

I didn't even know what was going on. I didn't feel the tears that ran down my face, but he reached out, took a small pair of scissors and comb from the travel bag I had sitting on the counter and gently he began to straighten out the stray hairs the Spectrum held left.

Without a word, I watched him. His eyes were on me in the mirror the whole time, even though his skillful hands were now cutting off the jagged edges of the cuts that I had made myself. When he was done he placed the scissors and the comb on the counter and grabbed a small washcloth to dust off the back of my neck.

He wasn't getting anything off my shirt and I felt him grab the hem of it. I let him take it off over over my shoulders, until I stood there in only the sports bra that I wore underneath. Turning towards him, I reached out and put my hands on his waist as he pulled me closer, putting his hands against the flat of my back in the curve of my jeans. My arms relaxed enough so that i was able to wrap them around him.

With a sigh, I felt his cheek rest against my head and for the first time in the last few hours I felt completely safe.


	76. DH Remembrance - 10

**Chapter 10**

One Whiskey, One Bourbon, one Beer

Per usual, the hunt always got the blood flowing and the heart excited, especially after something like that. The Night Hag had basically shown Dean and I our faults and our weaknesses, but together we had been strong enough to defeat her. It didn't however squash any feelings of dread that might have been turning in my stomach at the prospect of facing another demon down the road.

So when Christian decided that the bar would be the best place to go, the two of us agreed. I dressed, fix whatever I could of my hair and decided that, yeah, I needed a stiff drink.

It wasn't a big bar, some little roadhouse side-lot saloon, almost like Harvelle's but not quite. It was dark, dank and full of different types of people. Mostly bikers, mostly truckers, but all with the same idea in mind; it was time to get wasted.

It was funny to watch them in action, the two pairs of them. I sat back in a quiet corner with a couple shots in front of me and glass full of flat soda almost tempted to mix both together and ride the wave, but I just sipped away, taking a shot when the feeling arose. I smiled, observed my comrades as they mingled with each other.

Christian and Arrow, though completely unalike in most ways were identical in one. Competition.

There was no way that Arrow was going to give up the fight to win the battle of the dartboard, especially with Christian goading her on. A few heated words were exchanged as she flung the dart without looking and hit the bullseye with no problem. Christian, not being one to be shown up by a girl, smiled as he stood back and let it fly.

No one was winning this fight.

Dean and Birdy stood at the bar facing each other in close contact. Her hand moving up and down his arm as she gently stroked the muscle beneath his shirt. The smile on her face told me one thing and one thing alone, that if she had her choice he'd be going home with her tonight. The thing was, Dean kind of had the same smile on his face, the same _yeah it's in the bag_ kind of grin and I had to laugh. That was until he turned to look at me.

There was an emotion in his glance, one that I have never seen before. It was a look in his eyes that had never been present, not even the first time when he, Sam, Danni and I had all been together. It was almost as if he was uncertain of what to do next.

He glanced at her, glanced at me, and then looked down as if he should be scolded for flirting with somebody else. How do you tell a man like that that he was exactly where he's supposed to be?

Dean turned back to her smile and as they made eye contact. Birdy's eyes made a slight travel to my small little corner of the world and I watched her wink. I could read lips with the best and I'm pretty sure I watched her say: _are you sure you don't want to be with her?_

Dean's eyes scanned me over once again and he smiled. His lips read: _that's not in the cards,_ and a pain went through my chest. Dean deserved to be happy or at least to have some sort of connection to somebody, so why was I jealous? Why had I hoped it was me and that he had let her go?

As the night wore on I started to ignore the ongoing conversations around me and the way that the two couples engaged and my thoughts turn to Sam. I wondered where he was, I wondered how he was.

Dean had said that the two of them had a falling-out, that they hadn't agreed on the case that we had just finished. I found it hard to believe that the younger Winchester would be anything but agreeable on any kind of hunt at the moment, but maybe I didn't know this Sam as well as I thought and maybe, just maybe Cas had been right and things that were going on with these ones were not the same as what was going on with them in June.

Two shots down, two more to go and I had yet to finish the soda that was leaving a ring on the table. It was getting late and before I realized what was going on, a shadow hovered above me. I looked at Dean's red face, flushed from the alcohol that he has consumed and I wondered exactly what that smile was for.

"You feeling good there, Buddy?" I laughed. He slid into the seat beside me, his fingers tracing down my spine and he leaned in close to whisper in my ear.

"I'm going to need the keys," he stated and while his face told me one thing, his voice told me that he was pretty sober.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, I mean how much have you had to drink?"

"Just enough to get me in trouble, not enough to get me out of it." He laughed as I dug in my pocket and held the keys out for the Chevy.

Placing them down in the palm of his hand, I let my fingers caress the skin there just before his fingers closed on mine and he kiss me on the forehead. This was definitely a drunken Dean. He would have never been quite so open with any kind of physical contact if he hadn't been a little tipsy at least.

"So what? You and Birdy going for a ride?" And the only response from him was a sly grin and a wink before he stood from the table, took two steps away from me and turned back.

"Chris will bring you back to the hotel, Ali, just make sure you're safe." And with that I could tell that no matter how much he wanted to be there with her, his thoughts were with me and that, above all else, worried me. His full attention should be on the woman in his arms, while mine should have been completely on the man I had yet to find.

I watched the two of them leave with his arm around her waist and a bright smile on her face. Dean glanced back at me one more time before they disappeared into the night.

As the evening wore on, I watched Arrow and Christian become more and more flirty with each other. I had moved on to a few straight shots and abandoned the soda altogether.

It was close to four and I was surprised that last call hadn't even come up yet, but then again the bartender was happy, the customers were happy and Christian and Arrow, yeah they were happy too. But I was done! I had had enough for today and it was time to go back and get some sleep.

I made my way over, still surprisingly steady on my feet and look down at the two kissing people that sat in front of me. Christian had found a table in the very back of the place and the couple had been huddled together for as long as I could remember. For two people that didn't get along, or couldn't stand to look at each other when this began, they certainly were being friendly now.

"You guys, I'm tired, I'm cranky and I need a freaking shower. You think you could unlock your lips for about two seconds and drive me back to the motel?"

Arrow placed her head on Christian shoulders and the hazel-eyed man looked up at me with a grin on his face. Yeah, they weren't a little bit tipsy, they were a lot tipsy. He sighed, giving me the doe-eyed look of: _oh come on, we're just starting to have fun_ and that's when the bartender called for closing time.

"Looks like you lucked out, Ali." Christian laughed. "I guess this means we're going."

And with that, he set Arrow down on her feet, took her hand and winked at me as the three of us made for the door.

Being the most sober of the three, I snatched the keys from Arrow's hand as she tried to figure out how to unlock the door to Birdy's car. The Impala had been gone for hours and we were left with "peanut" the faithful little sidekick that had gotten the hunters around.

Once situated and settled with the car running, I waited until Christian and Arrow found their way to the back seat and got more acquainted with each other as I drove the two miles to the hotel.

This was going to be a long night.

I don't even think we made it in the door completely before the two of them were all hands on yet again and I sighed, snatching the pillows off the bed, the bed that Dean used. I also grabbed a comforter and headed out to the GTO that sat lonely in the parking lot positioned against the other set of the rooms.

This gave me a perfect vantage point to see not only the room before me but anywhere around the lot itself. I was too damn tired to care and I knew that with two hunters in one room there was no way a monster was getting these guys any time soon.

I managed to stuff my bags in the back of the GTO and make room for myself on the back seat. I curled up against the door using Dean's pillows to prop me up and I pulled my knees close to my chest, cross my arms and tucked myself under the blanket hoping that the sun didn't rise as fast as I thought it would. It was time for me to put aside everything that I had done that day and try to get my brain back on track.

With Dean's case in the bag, the Night Hag taken care of, it was time to concentrate on Sammy and my need to find him as my thoughts traveled to what he might be doing and with that my imagination took me to a dream filled sleep.

 _He moved like a ghost, suddenly upon me, moving me back down to the blanket with just his kiss and before I knew it, he had my thighs up, locking my legs behind him. I could feel him there, the tip just itching to move and he backed away, looking softly down at the kiss-swollen lips he had just left before his eyes met mine._

" _I don't want…" I grabbed him by the hair, not wanting to hear that he thought he would hurt me when I was more than ready for him and I brought my hips up, closing that distance. He moaned, quiet loudly as he slipped in, the heat surrounding him and one hand suddenly grasped my hips. Buried deep, as far as he could go, he froze. Against my lips I felt the shudder of his breath, "don't move."_

" _Sam," I pleaded, because him being so close was killing me not to move._

" _I swear if you move this will be done before it starts," he smiled. "Just…give me a second."_

 _I waited, our eyes locked as his breathing matched mine and his lips moved trying to find the words just as his hips began to rock. Slow, deliberately shallow movements that would have never been felt if it had been anyone else, but I could feel him, every part of him and he squeezed his eyes tightly, his teeth clenched as his forehead rested on mine._

" _I want it slow and torturous." He smiled against my lips._

" _Oh my God, Sam," I mumbled, feeling the shallow thrusts as he brushed his lips along mine._

" _I need it," he confessed, "you'll never be like the others, so this…this is how I need it."_

The sudden movement of the car shook me from my sleep. The loud rattle of the door as it opened had me sitting up in the backseat. As the comforter was pulled from my head, I came face-to-face with Dean Winchester. The fear in his eyes told me just about everything I needed to know on what was happening and I watched as his body relaxed when he slumped down on the floor behind the driver seat of the GTO.

Stretching, I blinked away the crust from my sleep-deprived eyes before rubbing them and letting out a growl.

"What the hell is going on?" I snapped and watched as he placed his hand gently on my leg. I knew something was bothering him just by the way he was looking at me, but I couldn't place exactly what his emotion was.

"We just couldn't find you. I couldn't find you." He said softly and this made me tilt my head just a little because I wasn't sure if I had heard him right.

"You spent the night in the Impala with one of my hunting buddies and you couldn't find _me_? Don't you think that's a little off?" I pushed his hand away, kick the comforter off and sat up next to him on the seat. "What time is it anyway?" I questioned and watched as he smiled.

"Close to eleven." He sighed and pushed the door open more so that the air from outside could get in. I pushed at his arm, hoping that that would give him the hint that I needed to get out of the small enclosed space especially with the way that he smelled.

It was pure Dean! Cigarettes, sweat, sleep and just a little bit of the alcohol left from the night before. I don't know why it was so intoxicating, in fact, I was pretty sure that I didn't like that at all. I wasn't fond of cigarettes and I'm pretty sure that man needed a shower, but right at that moment, after the dream I had about Sam, anything Winchester was a turn-on.

Dean got the hint, rolled his eyes and made his way out of the car before reaching back in to grab my hand and help me out. I snagged both pillows and the comforter and as I stood I shoved them into his arms. When I finally grabbed the keys and my wallet from the back deck, I turned and came face-to-face with Christian, who towered over me just as much as Dean did.

The scowl on Campbell's face was one of pure amusement to me, because I would have never thought that Christian would be so angry about the fact that I slept outside. Grinning at both, but irritated at the fact that they were so overprotective, I push past them and made my way into the motel room.

As I entered the room Birdy sat on the on the bed and Arrow sat at the table. Five coffees sat beside her, along with a bag of something that must have been a dime-store bakery reject from the night before, but who was I to argue? It was eleven and I was hungry. Sitting down in the empty seat across from my friend I glanced up at both girls and shook my head.

With a cheek full of food I grinned. "You two look like you just got caught with your hand in the cookie jar. It's the funniest thing in the world, but would you please stop feeling guilty?"

"Come on, Al, you just spent the night in your car." Arrow spoke up, a little irritated at herself for not realizing what was going on at the time. "I think I vouch for both of us when I say I'm really sorry."

"Oh come on really? You really think that's the first time I've ever slept in the back seat of my own car?" And the statement, although it was seemingly random, brought up the memory of several times that I had camped out in the back of my car while on a case sometime between April and June. Sometime before the memories were lost. "Besides I had the best bedmate in the entire place!" I grinned and took another bite of the stale donut before chasing it with some hot coffee. "Those pillows! Best. Damn. Pillows. Ever."

Birdy looked at me shook her head and just about got up to hug me before I put my hand up to hold her back.

"Ali, seriously, we didn't come here to take your boys. We came here to help you." Birdy fessed up, but I still grinned at her. A sly little grin that told her she hadn't taken anything of mine that I hadn't been willing to give. Glancing back and forth between the girls I finally put down the pastry and the hot coffee.

"You guys, seriously. Christian is not mine to keep and neither is Dean. They're both big boys and I'm pretty sure they got exactly what they wanted. No one was asking my permission for anything and I'm okay with that." But the look on her face told me that she knew otherwise.

"Ali, I think we really need to talk." Birdy whispered as she looked up and out the door for the boys were standing next to the Impala, waiting patiently for us to finish our quote-unquote conversation. "You can't tell me that there's nothing between you and Dean."

"Birdy, there's nothing between me and Dean! I don't understand why you're bringing this up. You're the one that went with him for a ride last night and I'm pretty positive that with what I know about that boy, it wasn't disappointing. So why are you bringing up feelings between me and Dean?" I was getting a little irritated with this line of questioning and I wiped my hands with a napkin readily available before I got up and headed towards the bathroom.

Closing the door behind me, I turned on the water to the sink, washed my hands, splashed my face and then press my palms against the cold ceramic of the basin. Was she really going to stand there and tell me that she slept with Dean even though she had some sort of warped sense that he and I should be together? I don't know what made me more angry, the fact that I was even questioning this or the fact that she was questioning. Both girls knew that I was with Sam, both girls knew that that was my mission. To find the boys and find Danni, so why was she bringing it up? And why couldn't I drop it?

It was more towards noon when the girls decided it was time to pack up and get moving and while I was sad to see them go, I longed for the road and hoped that soon we would be back on the track find Sam.

Arrow hugged me tightly and kissed me on the cheek as she usually did. It was a superstition with her. She could never leave anyone without a kiss on the cheek, something in her past made it that way and she didn't care if she had known you for a minute or a lifetime, that was how she said goodbye. I also saw the tears in her eyes as she slipped into the passenger seat of the peanut.

On the other hand Birdy was a little more "Hands-On" and she wouldn't let you go until she decided it was time! She held me tightly as she pressed her cheek to mine and whispered in my ear.

"Figure out your feelings for Dean before you meet up with Sam or this whole thing is going to explode." I blinked away the confusion of what she had just said to me before I licked my lips and nodded. She was one intuitive lady and that was one of the reasons the two of them made such a crack team. Arrow knew every move before it happened and Birdy seemed to be able to sense things around her. Right now maybe she was picking up on more than the connection I had with Dean. "You need to figure it out."

"I can't make any promises." I said softly and she hugged me once more before she quickly ran to the driver's side of the car.

"And Ali," she yelled before she climbed in. I smiled at her as I felt Dean and Christian step up behind me. "Remember."

The smile faded from my lips as she said that one word, but holding in my fear I waved and watched them back out of the spot, turn and head down the road, off on the next big hunt. Swallowing back the wave of deja vu, I turned and moved past Dean, heading straight for the room, with the boys soon following.

After a quick shower, change of clothes and brushing out my hair which still looked really strange in the mirror, it was time for lunch. We had decided on a small Bistro in the middle of town, someplace where we could see everything that was going on. It wasn't that both the boys were a little on the paranoid side, it was that they _absolutely were_ on the paranoid side.

The table was set up on the outside of the restaurant along the fake wrought iron fence that separated us from the sidewalk. The canopy that kept the sun from baking us was some God-awful maroon color with white stripes. I found myself counting the different sizes just to keep myself occupied as Dean and Christian swapped tales of the night before.

I wasn't a prude, but I certainly didn't want to hear of their conquests. Though I had gotten text messages from both Birdy and Arrow in the hours since they left. I knew that their concern was not with how the boys were, but how I was dealing with the aftermath of everything that had happened the night before. In confidence before they took off, I told them about the woman with the dark hair and how she seems so familiar, yet, I had never seen her before. Birdy's concern was if she was some figment of my imagination that the witch had brought to the surface from memories that I couldn't latch onto. Arrow's worry was that she was some sort of manifestation of another side of me that was being hidden. My thoughts on the matter were just that she was scary as hell and, apparently, I had something that I needed to remember.

Christian's hand slamming down on the table brought me back to the conversation right in front of me. Dean had moved over to sit dead ahead and Christian was now sitting up beside me. Our petite brunette waitress was sitting beside Dean, her hands shaking as she held the picture in her clenched fingers. Dean's eyes were locked on mine as the girl continued her story.

Apparently, a fire had happened in her house not more than six months ago and claimed the life of her older brother, whose picture she held in her hand. While I was counting away at the stripes, the boys were discussing a simple salt and burn case that they had taken care of somewhere in Milwaukee, when she overheard what they did for a living. My first thought was: God she really believes that these guys are the Ghost Hunters, but after listening to her explanation of which I only caught the last part of, it seemed that this was really one of our types of cases.

So, now here we sat, the four of us putting our heads together and we collected as much information from her as we could on the whereabouts of the haunting, the location of his grave and any relevant unfinished business that would have kept him here. So, I could say for certain that I believe she was the reason that he was still around.

After collecting our to-go boxes, paying the bill and leaving the waitress a generous tip plus ensuring that we would be in contact as soon as possible, the three of us headed back towards the Impala which we had driven into town to save gas, leaving the Grand Am and the GTO parked at the motel.

I slid into the back seat got myself comfortable and flipped through the notes that Dean had taken down in his journal. I had become more curious than I should have and it had me flipping through the pages before our run-in with the waitress. Just as I was about to get to some of the more interesting cases he had worked in the last month-and-a-half I saw Sam's name on the paper in a symbol I had never thought I would see again, at least not in a journal belonging to Dean Winchester.

The AO3 sigil for blood magic was written on the page right next to Sam's picture and a sketch of some strange looking doodle that I thought might resemble person in some way, shape or form, but I wasn't quite clear on who he was drawing. It looked like he had been half asleep or drunk when he had done it.

I closed the journal quickly and placed it on the seat beside me and looked out the window.

I sat on the bed leaning up against the headboard as I slowly started to fall asleep. It wasn't more than two in the afternoon and while we were all quietly pondering about what was to happen that evening, I was quietly pondering closing my eyes and taking a damn nap. While the GTO had been comfortable to sleep in for the most part it didn't make my dreams any less interesting and I was pretty positive I tried to stretch out at some point in time only to find that I was stuck in one position.

I hadn't realized that my eyes had grown heavy enough to close until I felt the sudden grasp of someone's hand around my ankles and I was quickly pulled down to lie flat on the bed. Managing to open them just enough to see who thought they could manhandle me, I came eye to eye with Dean, who is smiling down at me as he rested his weight on both arms one on either side of my shoulders.

"You don't have to stay up if you're too damn tired keep your eyes open." He said softly to me in a scolding voice and this made me smile even in my half-sleep state.

"And you don't have to be so damn bossy." I tried to snap back, but I know that it came as little more than a mumble because he started to snicker. I reached up and grabbed him by the shirt pulling him until his arms bent and he was little more than two inches from my face. With a sigh, I blinked heavily and slowly release my fingers. "You need to call Sammy. We need to find him. I need him to remember."

"Yeah you need him for something alright." Dean said sarcastically, but I couldn't tell if he was being serious or if he was joking because the next thing I knew I felt this hand on my cheek and his fingers running down the slope with my neck, just a feather touch that if you didn't know it was happening, you wouldn't have believed it. "Get some sleep Ali. I'll wake you up in about an hour or so."

And with that Dean walked away.

Apparently, a lot can happen while you're sleeping.

For example, Christian could go to the store to get supplies for the much-needed road trip to wherever Sammy happen to be at the time and could possibly, for example, be sideswiped by some old woman who absolutely had no idea that she was pulling across three lanes of traffic.

Another thing that could happen while you're sleeping, is you could hear a conversation between Sam and Dean, or at least Dean side of the conversation as it pertain to you. In this particular conversation you hear a strange sentence that kind of set you off in a weird way and that sentence, for example, could be: _you're not going to believe this Sam, it's the girl you've been drawing._

Why hadn't Dean told me about this before? He had never once mentioned that Sam was having visions, but then again, I remembered the way that we had actually met. The vampire tossed him through the window and suddenly I was revisiting another conversation the two of us at had.

Sam had confided in me that the visions weren't like in the show. They hadn't started when he was 22, they had actually always been there and he had a vision of me the night that we had met, one that showed him that the vampires had killed me. That I had died. So why would it surprise me that Sam has been drawing me for the last few months? When I knew that somewhere deep inside they all remembered something.

The case took us to a small town outside of Upland, not more than a good half an hour drive. With Christian's car totalled and him having to deal with the insurance companies and the police reports, Dean and I decided that we were going to take this one on alone.

He was right, it was a simple salt and burn case. We knew exactly where the body was buried. We knew who it was targeting and together the two of us knew exactly how to take care of it. But that didn't prepare us for the fact that this ghost wasn't ready for the afterlife.

The cemetery was dark except for our flashlights, the shovels were set to the side of the open grave and I had just poured the majority of the salt from the iron container over the ripe body that lay within. There wasn't much left of him. Whatever had started the house fire had caught him completely unaware, for it was a closed casket and he probably should have been cremated to begin with, but somehow they managed put him in a nice suit and tie and close the lid. That was until Dean broke it open.

As I stood there watching the man beside me spray the remains with lighter fluid, I turned to look at the shadows behind me. The clouds covered what little moonlight there was and completely blocked out stars, so what I was looking at was pure darkness. Trying to get my bearings on what was going on behind me, that strange feeling of being watched, I listened to Dean flick the cover open to the Zippo.

It was then that it attacked as if it were a hologram in a funhouse. The boy that lay in the grave below us was now standing within inches of my face. He looked almost as he did in life, which was a relief because what he look like in death was ten times worse. He scowled at me as cold hands reached out and grasped me around the throat.

"Dean!" I groaned, struggling to breathe, my hand catching him on the arm as I hit him several times.

"Dammit!" He growled, grabbed for the shovel and swung above my head.

The spook disappeared for just long enough to get the lighter going, but as Dean dropped it into the hole in the ground I was tossed backwards against the closest headstone hard enough to lose my breath for just a second. I saw the bright light of the flames as the boy disappeared and then suddenly Dean's hands were on my face. His eyes locked on mine and when he was satisfied enough that I was seeing straight, his lips crashed down upon mine capturing my mouth.

The kiss was heated and full of need, but as his lips tasted mine I felt him soften, linger just a little and pull back breathlessly before our eyes met again and I watch him suck in his bottom lips as if he were savoring the feeling there.

What do you say after something like that? What could possibly follow that kiss and he waited, patiently, for me to figure out our next move, but I couldn't address it yet, not in the middle of the graveyard and I gently pulled his hands away.

"We should get this cleaned up and get out of here." I whispered and watched the acknowledgement fill his eyes. Yeah, he didn't want to talk about it either and he helped me to my feet, his green eyes on me as we filled in the hole and covered our tracks.


	77. DH Remembrance 11

**Chapter 11**

Salt and Burn

Tossing the shovels, the empty salt can and Dean's duffle in the back of the car, I looked over at him as he reached for the trunk. The two of us stared at each other for a minute before he shook his head, rolled his eyes and closed it.

"What are you? Twelve?" I asked him as he stood on the passenger's side of the GTO, his hands on his hips and a frown in those green eyes even as his lips pursed in anger. "Get in the freaking car, Dean!"

"Why can't I just drive, Al? Seriously, you know I'm better at it!" He whined and I shook my head.

I was sure that either a witch or a voodoo priestess must have hit him with some major mojo because there was no way the real Dean Winchester would be staring at me like that because I wouldn't let him drive, or maybe it was that _kiss_. I let out a breath, really wishing that Sam was here, even though he wouldn't remember me from a hole in the wall, to back me up, but as my eyes locked on his, I gave him a scowl.

"It is not your balls that Jones would have locked down in a vice grip if anything happened to her, now just get in the freaking car so we can go, DEAN! I've had just about as much of this town as I can handle, I need a bed, four hours and a hot shower." I snapped and watched the anger erase from his lips because, apparently the word _shower_ reminded him of something else.

"Fine," he said as he grabbed the door handle, before he pointed at me, "next time, we're stashing your car and we're taking Baby, because this is a load of crap!"

"I'm not the one that handed the keys to your cousin." I mumbled as he got in the car and closed the door.

We drove into town, stopped at a local Love's gas station, just for Dean to grab some unhealthy microwaved burrito, and water, definitely water, but when he got back in the car, he popped the seat forward and put it on the back floorboard, before he shut the door and sighed.

Rolling my eyes, I looked around the small downtown area and shook my head. Remind me again why we had decided some simple salt and burn the next town over was a good way of wasting time before meeting up with Sam? Oh, yeah, because the Winchester in the seat beside me couldn't keep his damn mouth shut and his conversation to himself!

With a huff, I started her up. With Dean turned in the seat beside me, staring at my profile, I put one hand on the wheel, one hand on the shifter and turned to look at him.

"Look, I'm sorry, but rules are rules." I whispered, and watched as he turned away. "Seriously, dude, have you been Benjamin Buttoned, because I swear you are de-aging at like a rate of a decade a minute." But it was then that I realized, we weren't on the subject of the car anymore. Dean had gotten serious. "What?"

"I'm sorry," he growled.

"For what? Acting like your pre-pubescent self, or just plain being a dick?" I snapped and that got his head to whip back towards me.

"This isn't easy for me, Ali," he barked and I watched the way his finger twitched towards the edge of his thigh. I knew it! Dammit, I freaking knew it!

"You remembered, didn't you? You remembered something and you're not telling me!" I said trying to keep my heart from racing because that kiss should have tipped me off. "I told you to tell me, that I could explain stuff but, no, you have to be your usual pigheaded self and keep it in!"

"I'm telling you now!" He snapped back. "So, yeah, so what, I remembered, big deal. It wasn't anything important."

"Dean," I whispered and slowly let out a breath, "everything is important, every piece of this puzzle means something, so just suck it up, spit it out and tell me what you remembered."

His eyes went down to his hand and slowly he reached over. I made sure I stayed absolutely still as his hand touched my shoulder, fingers gliding across my skin as his hand hooked around the back of my neck and he pulled me closer. I let my body relax, just let it go, but my heart thumped at the prospect of another kiss, and his finger came up just a little and I bent my head down, closed my eyes and knew what was coming next as I felt his lips against my forehead.

This wasn't the first time he had done this since he came strutting back into my life. When the hag had attacked, yeah, he cupped my cheeks to look into my eyes probably to make sure that I didn't have a concussion, but that was way before he kissed me but this connection to our past made my heart race.

I could smell him then, just like before, everything that made up Dean as I reached out with my hands and gripped his shirt, letting his free arm circle around my waist, pulling me as close to him as he could with the console in the way. Everything, right down to the way his cologne smelled on his skin was perfectly Dean and I missed it.

I gave a little laugh as I released one handful of his shirt and brought it up to lay on his neck, feeling him swallow between my thumb and pointer as the pad of my thumb pressed against his pulse, but he didn't pull back all the way, just removed his lips and lowered his forehead to mine.

"I remembered you!" he said softly, as if remembering _me_ would be some big deal, that was the whole reason behind it, he needed to remember me, remember Danni and what we had become to him but as I let out a little hmmph, he sighed, as if I didn't understand before he continued, the mint of his gum that he had just spit out was still strong on his breath as the warmth went over me. "I remembered how you felt that first night, when you were such a mystery. I remembered needing to touch you, to connect, I couldn't let you go, but I couldn't keep you close, not too close. I pushed you to Sam, I needed to push you away, instead of pulling you closer. It didn't work. I needed you, your touch, the feel of you, under my hands, in my arms, not… not..., Ali, not like... but God, where did you come from?

"I didn't know life before, like I was just living but there was nothing to live for, except Sam, always Sam, but then there was you and your touch, and the need. And then…" He was getting flustered and I could tell by his rambling that words just weren't coming out. I pushed him back just a little with that hand, the one that felt his heart skip and I stared into his eyes. He didn't remember Danni yet, but I could see it in his eyes, that things were coming in bits and pieces. "Did we ever figure out what this was?"

"No," I whispered and shook my head, "but would it be weird to say soulmates?" I laughed and watched him raise an eye as he looked at me a little shy. "Not romantic soulmates, God, no one should ever go there!"

"Why?" he really sat back this time, "I thought that was the very definition of it."

Okay, that made me laugh, but I shook my head. "No, a soulmate is someone you connect to, very, very strongly, like you and Cas," and I shouldn't have said it but he wouldn't have gotten it otherwise, "Or you and Sam."

"You do know we're brothers, right?" He questioned. Sure, say something about Sam and nothing about the angel, typical.

"That doesn't mean you can't be soulmates." I laughed. "Listen, a soulmate connection is intense, so intense people mistake it for attraction…"

"Yeah, I get that."

"No, wait," I smiled, "you really don't, because when you go that route with a soulmate, it burns out faster. Sex and souls aren't meant to mix, it's two very extreme things on a collision course with disaster." He shook his head, yeah, not getting it still. "Okay, think about sex…"

"Never a problem." He chuckled, sarcastically. I groaned at this, because, yeah, sitting beside him as it was, thinking about sex in any form wasn't going to be a problem.

I sat back in my seat, slipping from his grasp, as far back as I possibly could as I shut off the car and brought my leg up to be more comfortable sitting sideways in the driver's seat.

"Trust me, with you, I know, but shut up and listen." I glanced around at the people walking by before I could get my thoughts straight. "Okay, sex is intense, I mean for everyone, no matter how much you do it or how far you go, or what kind of kink you're into…"

"Whoa, whoa, really I don't need the Sex Ed. lesson," he grinned but I could tell he was enjoying it and I rolled my eyes. "But, kink… I get it, continue…"

"Jesus, you really are twelve," I laughed and watched him reach over, take my fingers, just the tips of two of them and hold them between his finger and thumb, like the need to touch was already too much. I wanted to snatch my hand away, but the feeling of being safe was already overpowering the urgent need to run. Okay, deep breath again as I continued. "Okay, skipping the kink part. I know you get how powerful sex itself is, Dean, can you imagine taking this to that kind of level?" And I stopped myself as I felt the blush run up my face. "WAIT! Forget I even said that because seriously, not even going there and not sure why I worded it that way. Let me rephrase…"

"Too late, already got a visual," he grinned teasingly and I slapped his arm with my free hand before rolling my eyes. "Kidding! I'm kidding, continue."

"You are so _not_ kidding!" I mumbled and watched that small move he did with his mouth, the one where he thought about making a smartass remark, but then decided against it as I continued. "Think of this connection and that… more intimate physical one. How long would you last on that? I mean it would be so intense it would shoot off like a rocket and be done before you know it." I heard him groan at my choice of wording and I closed my eyes, running my hand down my face. "Point is, no relationship can survive being soulmates, it's too much, too intense, and one day you wake up and it's gone, so what was the point of this conversation again?"

"I don't know," he said with total seriousness, "you kinda lost me at sex."

"UGH!" I turned in the seat and started the car, pulling the lap belt across as I glanced over at the smug smile on his face. "Motel room and sleep, Dean. No bars, no hustling pool, no Christian. Okay?"

"Yeah," he laughed, "okay, toots, we'll do it your way."

I put the car in gear and pulled out into the street, headed back to Upland to meet up with Christian.

I shook my head when we pulled up to the motel, as I slid the GTO into the parking spot beside Baby. She was clean at least, not a scratch on her but the motel door was open and Christian was sitting at the table in clear view of the window with his feet up. I glanced at Dean, who only winked and slipped out of the car.

Oh, this was going to be a fun night.

With a sigh, I grabbed my jacket, took the keys from the ignition, set the parking brake and followed suit after grabbing a few items from the back. Stepping past Dean, who had already grabbed a beer from the mini-fridge, I dropped my bag on the floor beside the first double bed, kicked off my boots, and flopped down face first onto the pillow, I don't care what kind of eye full of ass they got, I was too damned tired to care that my jeans were covered in grave dirt.

My eyes were closed, I could hear the light conversation going on behind me and then I felt the feathered touch on my shoulder, one that made me jump a bit, but the quiet sound of a "shh" kept me from moving as the hand slid down my spine, laying a light trail down until I felt the tug of my shirt. I needed to move, because whoever it was just hit the no-fly zone, but before I could react, I felt the tug of the gun from the back of my jeans and heard it set lightly down on the stand beside me before the breath brushed against my ear.

"Don't need to turn over on that, trust me, I've done it before." Dean's voice was low and soothing and while I wanted to yell at him, all that came out was a sigh as he tugged my shirt back down and smooth a hand over my hair before he moved away.

"So, ah, what's up with that?" Christian questions as I hovered on the edge of sleep.

"Nothing," Dean replied but I could tell he was looking in my direction, but I also heard him sigh, "little bit of something…. maybe." Dean's uncertainty made me worry.

"Okay, I've been hunting with you steady for nearly two months now, never have I seen you be that gentle with any woman, let alone some strange chick that happened in off the highway." Christian spoke, concern was at the forefront of the emotions in his voice, that and uncertainty for his cousin. "Wanna give me a little bit to go on here?"

"Turns out I do know her," he sighed, took a swig of his beer, which was almost gone because I could hear the liquid moving. "Both me _and_ Sammy do."

"How? Where?" I wanted to turn over but there was no way, in fact my dream state was almost making up the way they were sitting and they looked like anime characters in my head with too skinny waists and broad shoulders, wild hair and BIG eyes.

"Ohio, in April," Dean got up, the beer bottle went into the trash, the door to the fridge opened and the top popped off the bottle before the chair squeaked again under his weight.

"Wait, the vamp nest that went south?" I heard the chair Christian was in move across the rug. "Thought you guys went solo on that, isn't that where Sam got the scar?"

"Yeah, it is," he whispered softly, took a sip and put it down on the table, "apparently she was the one that patched him up."

"What, wait… What?" I could hear the confusion as things moved around. "She stitched him up?" Dean must have nodded and it must be a Campbell family traits for that one little world came out of Christian. "Huh." He snickered a little, "man I could have told you that wasn't your patch job, you suck at stitches."

"Screw off!" Dean grumbled.

"So, you know her, so what? You know a lot of women, Dean." Christian Campbell, always the voice of reason, "did she just sew him up and send you on your way?"

"No, turns out she swung, got herself injured and we had to protect her from the nest too," he was being very nonchalant about it and that set me off as he sighed. "Look, all I know is that she was someone to me, is someone to me and I don't have all the memories yet to explain it. I have a feeling when we meet up with Sammy, and when we find this mystery chick that she is hell bent on hunting down, everything is going to come together, but that's all I got."

"Hey, I getcha man," Christian backed off and the two of them sat in silence for a while, which allowed me to finally let the darkness take over.

Sometime later, with the light noise of the fan blowing through the room and the sound of the frogs and crickets outside, I felt the bed beside me sag, and that reminded me of the issue with having one room and three people with only two beds. I had to share.

His body lay stiff next to me, as if he wasn't certain on what to do, but after a minute, I heard him sigh, and his fingers ghosted over my waist. I let out a breath, turned on my side and moved back towards him. Dean slowly inched his way around, molding his body to mine, as his hand came up from my waist, slid between my arms and his fingers fisted, as he rested it against my heart.

He was like a shield and I remembered the first night, when I had finally gotten some sleep, when Sam was in the other bed healing, he had done just that, pressed up against me, turned in the direction that not only could he see me, but he could see Sam in the bed beside us.

"Goodnight Dean Winchester," I whispered to him and felt his lips on the back of my head, before he settled down and his body relaxed. Safe again, I gave into the rest that my body demanded, which apparently was more than four hours.

I heard the door click, and I shot up on the bed, the hand on my waist falling away, as I grabbed the Walther on the stand where Dean had set it. Flipping off the safety, I stared at the man in the doorway, watching that smug smile on Christian's face as he held up the tray of coffee and the bag of donuts before he stepped fully into the room and set it on the table.

His eyes moved from me to Dean and the way that we lay before he closed the door and shrugged off his coat. I safetied the gun and set it gently down once more.

"You weren't kidding," he whispered, which made me turn and look at the man beside me before I slipped off the bed and walked in bare feet, because apparently it was way too hot in the room to keep socks on, across the rug to the dresser where I grabbed my clothing and turned towards the bathroom. I did a quick sweatpants change so that I could wake up, before I grabbed the coffee from the table, checked the bag and took a seat across from him. "You really do know him."

"I told you that before," I answered, but didn't offer any more.

"Yeah, well if I knew he would give you that kind of reaction, I would have pushed more instead of keeping you at the roadhouse." He admitted and I shook my head. I knew he was freaking stalling. "I've never seen my cousin like that, not Dean and if he's that way with you, I can't imagine how Sam is going to be."

"I don't get what you mean, never seen him like that, how is he usually?" I thought back to what I knew, what Sam and Dean both had told me about the time after Sam had left, when Dean was alone with John, the way that the older one had become just as dark.

"Dean doesn't love easy." Christian laughed.

"No one loves easy, Chris, I mean it's love, it shouldn't be _easy_ , that just makes it lust."

"Yeah, well that," and he gestured to the bed, where Dean lay in a position as if I were still there, "that ain't lust."

"It's not supposed to be," I reassured him. "Look, Chris, you and I, we talked about this. I'm not after the boys, not after him anyway, he's got someone else, whether he knows it or not. I wanna fix what I broke, and if that means anything, it means giving them back what they felt before."

"You never told me how your memories were erased."

"I'm still remembering myself," I sighed and looked out the window, gently spinning the coffee cup between my hands. "I mean, there is still a lot that I can't focus on, right now life seems to revolve around April, the trip and getting the boys back, but I know more stuff happened, I know June happened in Winchester, Virginia, but I don't know what."

Which was totally a lie because I know the one thing, the most important thing that happened there and I dreaded the day that Dean found out about it.

I had found myself sitting out by the GTO not more than an hour later. My mind thinking about what was supposed to come next. I knew that Dean had called Sam, I knew that at some point in time I was going to have to face up to what it happened at the cemetery. I knew Dean would have to come face-to-face with the reality of exactly what he had done and what I hadn't done which was stop it.

It was as if he knew that I was thinking about him, because just as I had finished staring off into space thinking about our next move, the door open and Dean came stepping outside. I watched him take one of those sticks out of the pack, tap it on his hand, put it between his lips, and light the end of it. He stood at the end of the small walk right in front of the back bumper of the Impala and slowly took a drag.

Why was it so fascinating to watch this stupid cigarettes? It wasn't as if I hadn't seen anyone smoking before but it was just something about Dean doing it that wasn't only intriguing, but a little odd to watch. He took a couple drags, blew the smoke out, and looked around the lot before his eyes landed on mine.

He didn't come towards me right away, just kind of stuffed his hand in his pocket, use the other one leisurely continue his enjoyment before he snuffed the butt out at the bottom of his boot and flicked it into the nearest trash barrel. I watched him take a deep breath, as if he were dreading the next few minutes and slowly he walked over, those bowlegs looking extremely good in those blue jeans.

What the hell was I thinking? I should be looking at his legs! I shouldn't be looking at him at all. I should be standing there with my eyes closed damn it! There's no way that Dean Winchester should be anywhere on my mind, let alone coming closer to me when I couldn't get him off of it. Maybe Birdy was right, maybe something had happened in the translation of these memories that just made it click differently this time. Why couldn't I get over this need for him? I mean I understood it before, so why was I having such a hard time with it now?

He stopped about three feet from me, put his hands in his jean pockets, looked me over, and then decided that the space was too much. Suddenly, he was leaning against the car beside me, every inch from my shoulder to my ankle touching him in some way and I had to cross my arms to keep my hands from reaching out.

"We need to talk." He stated and this only made me laugh because, yeah, we so needed to talk alright. I rolled my eyes, pffted,and glanced up at him.

"Tell me you're not going to get all sorts of weird over a kiss?" I asked him and watch this he grin but look down as if he were shy about the whole subject. "You are going to get all sorts of weird, aren't you?"

"Ali, I remembered," And he paused for just a second to collect his thoughts. "I remembered you and I remembered how we were, and I remembered that _you_ were with _Sam._ You were in love with Sam and I kissed you. I kissed you after everything came back, after I knew what you meant to my brother! If that doesn't make me some kind of douchebag, then I don't know what does."

"Would you like me to call you that?" And I turned towards him, moving away from the bumper of the car. I really wanted to look at his face while we had this conversation, not stand side-by-side, feel him, or touch him, or smell him, because, seriously, if this guy smelled any better I would… I needed to get my head on straight, and I took a step back the more space between us the better. "Dean, what you remembered was intense, and I get it, I really do. It's not something that just... you can…" I fumbled my words before I could find the ones that made any sense to me. "Look Dean, seriously, it was just a kiss. It was a crazy, mixed-up, out-of-control moment and you kissed me. Can't we just get past that?"

"Yeah," he whispered, "I guess that's what we're going to have to do, we're just going to have to get over it, or passed it, whichever!" He pushed away from the car and I thought he was going back towards the room, he's stopped beside me and looked down, his green eyes staring to mine. "Look, Sammy agreed to meet us in Decatur, Alabama. That's what I came out here to tell you. It's seven hour drive, so we'll be leaving soon. He said he's following up a lead on the case so when we get there, he should be done with his research."

"Okay, so just let me know when we're leaving, because I'll gas up the GTO." I whispered softly, knowing that by the tone of his voice I had hurt him in some way that he would never admit to. Dean nodded, giving me just a little glance before he took a couple steps away. I turn quickly towards him and sighed. "Dean!" I watch them stopped in his tracks, I watched the muscles in his back tighten up as he removed his hands from his pockets and clench them into a fist. "I'm sorry, okay I just don't know how…"

He turned towards me and came at me faster than I could blink, and before I knew it, his hands were on my neck, his thumbs running over the soft skin of my cheeks and he presses lips against mine. This kiss was just as soft as it was the night before, but there was an urgency in this one, almost like the need to touch. This kiss was meant to be the last one, the one stolen one that we were never meant to have.

He breathed into me as his lips parted and came down to capture mine once more before I heard him sigh and then he let me go, pulling that warmth away from me as he put his forehead to mine.

"This never happened." He whispered softly, the pads of his thumb gently caressing my lower lip. "No matter what anyone says, I will take this to my grave and Sam will never know. I love you too much, I love Sammy too much to come between you. I know you said that there was someone out there waiting for me but Ali, I don't know what to do, so I'm going to do what I always do. I'm a locked away, and I'm going to keep it safe when the time comes, then you and I are going to figure this out."

He let me go just as suddenly as he had taken hold of me and I watched as he moved back towards the room. Christian stood leaning against the door as Dean pushed by in and grumbled that they needed to get ready to go before disappearing into the darkness of the room. I let myself fall backwards, as if I were weightless, but I knew I never left my feet, finding the GTO to lean on as I tried to catch my breath and my racing heart. The look on Christian's face must have mimic mine because both of us were in total shock of what had just had just happened.

In just a few hours we would be on the road, on our way to Sam, and he left me with this? The knowledge that he loved me, that he remembered? And how much of it did he truly know, because if he was still confessing that he knew there was someone out there, I was positive he didn't remember Danni. What was I supposed to with that? And what was I supposed to do that kiss?

The tension in the room between the three of us was tolerable. Christian made seemingly harmless jokes as I check in with the kids, returned text messages and made a few phone calls, the same thing I did every day about that time. Dean decided that food was something we needed before heading out and since Christian had botched that by getting sideswiped, he volunteered to take Baby to the store, leaving me with his cousin as he snatched the keys off the table, let his fingers run over my shoulders for just a moment before he disappeared out the door.

Christian sat on the bed, once the sound of the engine was far enough away that he felt safe enough to talk. I blinked away the confusion, the _I'm going to lock this away but still touch you_ kind of confusion that my mind was telling me he could shove, before I looked up at Chris' hazel eyes.

"That bad, huh?" He whispered, and I almost tossed the stale donut from that morning at him.

"Worse!"I replied and put my hands against my face as I placed my elbows on my knees and sighed into them. "I didn't come here to confuse him, I certainly didn't mean for that to happen."

"Maybe it was meant to," and this had me shooting daggers at him with just my eyes.

"Don't make me shoot you!" I growled and watched as that sly smile crossed his face.

"Ali, come on, you two have been connected from the jump, why the hell does it shock you that this is happening at all?" I closed my eyes, so not needing to hear this. "Listen, I know it's extreme, but maybe this is how he has to deal with it this time? Maybe having Sam around will kind of lighten the load."

"This morning you said he had never been like that with anyone else, but I know he has, I've seen it." I snapped. "He loved Danni before, to the extreme, and I get that he doesn't know everything yet, but how do I live with that? With the fact that he… twice! Chris, he kissed me twice."

"And he curled up with you in bed, and he protected you from a monster," the Campbell man across from me retorted.

"I will shoot you!" I threatened again.

"So you keep saying, but it's not much of a threat if you don't intend to do anything about it." He teased and I quickly pushed off the chair. Tackling him unexpected put the six-foot hunter off his game and suddenly the two of us were falling to the hard, carpeted floor as I wrestled to get his hands pinned behind him, but he turned the tables and pinned me to the floor. Looking down at me, he grinned, and shook his head. "Not playing with you, Porter, and I'm not going to be your distraction either."

"Well, you're no fun," I huffed but he didn't let me go, but I watched him take in a deep breath. "It's okay you know, to go back to Jo." I watched him roll his eyes as he backed off, letting me lay on the floor, not that I really wanted to be there, but he sat against the bed, his knees bent over my legs as I pushed myself up to my elbows. "I can see it all over your face, Campbell!"

"You know, I really don't like you!" He mumbled and shook his head, "haven't from the jump, but," he took a breath in and looked at me, "I worry about you, especially with this thing going on between you and Dean."

"There isn't anything going on between me and Dean," I mocked, rolling my eyes.

"Keep telling yourself that," he winked and stood, grabbing my hand to help me from the floor as we heard the rumble of the Impala. "I'm going to drive the GTO down, park it at the motel that Dean gave me the address for and scat, because Sam and I, yeah, not pretty, but if you need me…"

"I get it, Chris," I laughed as I sat back down at the table, grabbed my bag from the floor and made sure that the spectrum was tucked securely in her spot. Suddenly, I looked up at him and watched that smile cross his face. "You think you're driving my car?"

"Already talked to Jones," he teased, "not going to have that guy get me by the family jewels," the grin widened, "I'm thinking Resses likes them just where they are."

"Resses?" I smiled, thinking of the hunter who had spent the night with him and shook my head, "she let you call her that and you're still alive?"

"She's going to let me call her lots of things next time they're in town," he grinned like a loon as he went over to grab his stuff just as Dean walked in the door. The two of us looked up at him, as his eyes went from one of us to the other and he shook his head. "Sup, Cuz?"

"We gotta skip town," he said in all seriousness.

"Why?" I stood from the chair and grabbed the first-in bag, the only thing left in the room.

"Cops caught wind of a B & E last night, guess who they tracked it back to," he said with a bit of annoyance before the three of us headed out towards the car. I gave Christian the keys and he gave me a wink before he looked up at Dean. "Be safe."

"Don't drive angry," Chris said as he reached a hand out to his cousin.

"Just drive," Dean replied and shook it before the hazel eyed man headed towards my GTO. I looked up at Dean when Christian started the engine and he looked his gaze on me. "Get in, we need to get out of here."

"Aye, aye, Captain." I answered and slipped into the passenger's seat. Finally ready to put Upland, Indiana in the rear-view mirror, no matter what car it belonged too.


	78. DH Remembrance - 12

**Chapter 12**

Sweet Home Alabama

Cars and I usually didn't get along when it came to sleep, but for some reason with Dean driving my body told me that I wasn't ever going to be any safer. So two hours into the ride to Alabama, I found myself laying across the front seat of Baby with the top of my head against his thigh and deep into a restless sleep.

It was then that I started to dream. Some strange sequence of events that led me to no actual conclusion, but I knew one thing Sam was definitely involved.

I found myself in a bar trying to fight my way through a crowd as if I had been sucked into some concert? Maybe? It was loud, there was a lot of people and for some reason I was watching Sam walk out the door. Dean was nowhere to be found as I headed in that general direction and suddenly found myself out into the night.

The air had a chill to it, something not quite natural and I tried my hardest to fight the feeling of dread. Trying to find my way around the parking lot full of cars I noticed that there was no Impala, there was no GTO. There was just rows and rows of endless cars. I heard a noise not quite normal, but loud enough for me to notice and it was coming from the back alley.

I slipped the Spectrum blade out of her resting spot at my hip, twirled her in my hand just to make sure I had the feel of her and headed off into the darkness. Coming around the corner my senses were heightened, because the shadows were thick and full of unknown energy.

There had to be something there to cause that much of a shift in the air and as I made that final turn I knew exactly what was going on. Under the light from the back door I could see Sam. He was wrapped up in the arms of another woman, her legs locked around his hips as he braced her against the wall and my heart started to race.

What had I walked in on? Sam was kissing her wildly and this woman's hands were tangled in his hair. The passion between them was endless and I felt the spark of something, not quite sure if I was turned on or jealous, because watching it from my angle was like watching it as if it were a dream.

Her hair was like mine but long instead of the the length that I had now and she was dressed in a short black skirt, tight top and boots that went up and up. I could hear sounds that they we're making and it reminded me of sex. Sex and Sam.

Oh what was I doing there? Why was I just watching? Was this something I really wanted to see, Sam with another woman? But I knew there had to be some other reason for it, there's no way that I would just watch was there?

That's when I saw it, the way her hands moved along his skin and the strange light that seemed to illuminate from the trail that her fingers left. This was not your average woman. _This_ was a monster.

I clinched the Spectrum in my hand, my knuckles turning white. I knew now what I was seeing this because this was Sam, _my_ Sam and he was in trouble.

He suddenly seemed to stumble under her weight and I found myself moving forward quickly watching as he fell until she was hovering above him. Sam was on his knees, his skin an ashen color and his eyes started to pale. This wasn't happening! There was no way this monster was getting the best of Sam Winchester.

I ran in swinging taking her attention away from Sam, but I could hear his body fall to the ground and just as quickly as the dream began it ended with me driving the blade into the monster's back. My eyes locked on Sam's now still and unseen ones and I knew I had been too late.

I sat up quickly in the car and pressed my body against the door. This giving Dean a bit of a shock and I felt the Impala swerve before he pulled over and put it in park. I tried to catch my breath as he turned and looked at me cutting the engine. I could see the worry on his face.

"Ali, what the hell?" He snapped, but there was an emotion just under the surface of his irritation that made the tears in my eyes well up even more. He reached over and took hold of my arm, not harshly but gently and I could feel his fingers tapping against my skin as if he were calming himself. "What did you see? Tell me what you saw."

"It was Sam," I whispered and sniffled back the tears before I reached down, slipping out of his grasp, to grab the journal from my bag. Breathing heavily I brought it up to my lap, pulled my knees up against me and leaned on the door. I don't know if he expected more from me or if it was just something that he was used to getting, but when I didn't say anything else he sighed, turned back to the road, started the car and took off again. As I scribbled down my notes I tried my best to think out loud. Maybe I did need him to know what I saw. "I think it was a succubus," and I glanced up at him as he scoffed. He glanced my way, one hand on the wheel and the other reaching over to turn the drawing that I had done. "But that's not what he's searching for, is it?"

"He said he thought it was a Wraith." Dean spoke up, but shook his head. "I mean, with Sam, it really could be anything. He only gives me general details about his hunts."

"Really? You would think that your brother would want you in on what he was doing. I mean that's how you guys work, as a team. At least in my experience you always had each other's back and now you're telling me that he won't even let you in on what he's doing?" The look on Dean's face told me that there was a lot of stuff that I didn't know and he wasn't about to get into it. "Okay, look, so maybe it is a Wraith that he's hunting now, but this was definitely a succubus. I mean, I watched it. While they were kissing it literally suck the life out of him."

"Kissing? You were watching Sam kissing this thing? What the hell are your dreams good for if all you get to do is sit back and observe?" He snapped and I wondered what exactly was on his mind. Was it the kissing part or the fact that Sam was doing something with a monster again? "Okay, so you walk in on Sammy and this chick… I'm going to assume it was a chick... it was a chick right?"

"Yeah, it was a chick okay?" I replied back and shook my head. "I didn't really walk in on them. I kind of followed him out to the back alley and saw what they were doing. Wasn't like I intended on following him period just when he left the bar…"

"Oh, so now you're at a bar? With Sammy kissing some chick?" And I smiled at him as I shook my head.

"Dean, dude, you've got to get your priorities straight!" Then I sighed, "okay, so anyway, I walked out, followed him around the back of the building, caught them making out and," I paused, "there was just something about it, like you can feel the energy in the air, I knew it wasn't right. But before I could get to it, he was dead."

"Alright, there is no way this is actually going to happen! There's no way that Sammy would let a monster get a jump on him and let it kill him!" I closed the journal, put it back in the bag and lean to my head against the glass watching the lights fly by. "So you got the jump on the monster, Sammy died, what happened next?"

"I woke up." I shrugged and took a deep breath, "I mean there wasn't anything else to do. He was dead and she was pretty well ganked. I think I know how to kill it," I said sitting up and I watched Dean narrow his eyes at me before putting them back on the road.

"Okay Sylvia Browne, what have you got?"

I turned in the seat to look at him and I ran my hands down my face as I tried to think back. "I remember looking at Sam's eyes and I remember walking up behind her. I started out with the Spectrum blade in my hand, but Dean, that wasn't the one that I stabbed her with."

"Okay... so, shoot what do you think it was?"

"It was black, like... like an old stone. Almost like an arrowhead that the Indians used to use."

"Like the ones you find on the shores sometimes when you're in a river somewhere in the woods?" Dean asked as if he didn't quite understand me, but I pointed at him nodding excitedly.

"That's exactly it! It was a stone blade made out of something black and it looked like it had a bone handle wrapped with leather cord." I couldn't believe how vividly I saw this blade now, but talking to him about it seem to bring the visions back.

"What? Was it like obsidian or jet or what?" He rattled off the names of some stones and all I could do was think. I wasn't as up on my gems and stones as I should have been, but one of those sounded familiar.

"Obsidian, I think." I whispered as I grab the Journal again and my pen. Sitting there with him as he drove silently I was able to sketch out what the blade looked like and yeah, obsidian made sense. The question now is what do I do with it?

I stared out the window reliving the vision in my dream and it wasn't until the car came to a halt again that I realized where we were. I turned to face Dean, a question in my eyes and he just shook his head.

"Pee break!" He smiled as he opened the door. "And I need to get gas. You need to get yourself a coffee or something cause it's going to be a long night if you keep nodding off like that."

I smiled at him and watched as he disappeared around the back of the car. I could hear the license plate move, the way the gas cap came off and him shoving the nozzle down to the hole. My mind went completely south. What the hell is up with this guy and these thoughts? I really needed to find Sam.

Opening the passenger side door, I quickly grabbed my wallet, took a twenty out of the fold and stretched. Dean's eyes were on me as I did this and I gave him a sly grin as I headed towards the store. Glancing back, I winked, pulling a total Christian move.

"Coffee? Beer?" I yelled back to him and watched as he smiled.

"Pie!" He replied and went back to what he was doing with the car. I shook my head, I shoulda known. The boy couldn't pass up an opportunity for pie even if it cost him his life.

Inside the store I could hear the elevator music going, but I did what he asked and I found a piece of the pre-cut pie in a small box. I hope he likes apple. I grabbed two coffees and a granola bar for myself and I watched the news as the man at the register wrung me out.

The captions on the television read: Third body found in undisclosed location, cause of death unknown.

I looked at the cashier and gesture to the TV. "Do you think you could turn that up?"

"Volume doesn't work on it." He replied grabbing a paper that was sitting beside the counter and flopped it down in front of me. "It's been all over the news. Between here and Alabama there's been a rash of these things and they're not even sure what the hell happened."

"Can I buy that?"

"No need. It's yesterday's Edition. It isn't going to have this stuff on it from tonight." He folded it and stuffed in the bag with the other things that I had bought before he handed me back my change. "You have a good night."

"Yeah you too." I replied, grabbed the bag and the two coffees and headed out the door. By the time I reach the Impala Dean had already made it to the bathroom and back and filled the tank up. So when he looked at me as I slipped in the door, I watched the confusion across his face. Sitting in the seat, I handed in his cup and place the bag on the seat between us. "So get this, apparently there's been a rash of unexplained deaths in the area from here all the way to Alabama over the last week and a half."

"Yeah so what's that got to do with anything?" I slipped the paper out from the bag and place it on the seat before putting his little slice of pie on top of it.

"Give it a read, sounds kind of familiar."

"Huh," he said as he unfolded the paper and read through the article. "So, what, this is been going on for a week and a half and we're just noticing it now? What the hell has Sam been doing? This is so much better than a wraith any day."

"Oh yeah, you're so broken up about this!" I laughed as I took a drink of the coffee before I unwrapped the granola bar. "We're what, a good three hours out still? I mean we could give him a heads up at least right?"

"Sammy doesn't need a heads up." Dean stated and with annoyance folded the paper back up and placed it on the seat. He started up the car, put it in drive and took off from the gas station headed down the back roads towards our destination. "Besides if we give him the heads-up about this one, what do you think he's going to do with the one he's chasing now?"

"How should I know? He's your brother! Apparently I don't know you guys at all anymore, not talking to each other about cases, pfft, what's up with that?" He rolled his eyes at me as he opened the small box and took the slice of pie out, taking a large bite before he put it back down. I watched as he skillfully used his knees to steer the car and I shook my head. "You know that's how you get into an accident. You shouldn't pie and drive at the same time."

"Ha ha ha ha." he stated sarcastically with a mouth full of food. I just continued to grin as we moved down the road waiting for him to finish savoring his sugary treat. It was when he grabbed his coffee that he glanced at me. "Hey Ali, we should probably talk about stuff before we get to Sam."

"I don't want to talk about anything anymore." I snapped. "Every time someone says to me _we got to talk_ , it never turns out any good for me at all. So what could you possibly have to say that would make me want to listen to it?"

"Okay, okay! I was just going to say maybe you should tell me something about Danni. I mean, she's something to me right? I mean, I get that we had something, but it's not that I remember it. I get these... flashes, you know, like I should remember something but I don't." I turned in my seat to face him, grabbed the blanket of the green cooler from the back seat and covered myself with it. He gripped the steering wheel in frustration before he sighed. "I guess I just need something to go on, something that might help, you know, take these feelings off of you."

"You want me to tell you about Danni so that you can stop thinking about me"? He shrugged as a reply. "You know that's not going to work if you don't remember on your own, right?"

"I don't even know if I'm gonna be able to do that, Ali." He let out his breath and reached over to take my hand. "Do you realize how hard this is? Like I said, I know you're with Sam, I remember it, but I can't change what's going on inside my head. So, I got to do something else and you gotta help me. You got to tell me about Danni so I can try to get past this."

"Alright we got, what, three hours to kill? If that's what you want to spend the rest of the time on the road together talking about, then I'll tell you that Danni. Where do you want me to start?"

Dean looked over at me, down at our joined hands and gave it a gentle squeeze. "How about you just start from the beginning? I know how we met you and me, so what about Danni?"

I smiled at this one, because that one little line that she had said to me before we got into the cars, that had said it all and she was definitely right. _These were the Winchesters and we were so totally screwed_.

Explaining Danni to Dean was easy. Explaining Dean to Dean was a little bit more difficult because no matter which way I turned the wheel the question always came up.

"Why the hell would I do that?" Dean asked me for the upteenth millionth time and by then I was rolling my eyes.

So I had gotten past the deal of how the four of us had met in the parking lot of Fred and Red's in Joplin, the way we had explained the boys to themselves and exactly how we had so much information on them. Now I was at the point, a good two hours into the game, where Dean was starting to question his own sanity.

"Okay, is this such a far-fetched story that you can't understand the concept of it. Why am I explaining you to you to begin with? I mean, honestly Dean, can you not see yourself doing this?" I asked as I shifted in the seat once more. This time bringing my legs up to my chest so that I could face him fully with the blanket still tucked around me. He rolled his eyes at me, his lips tight before he gave me just a little shake of his head. "So we're in Lawrence, we're at the photoshoot and she flirted a little with a police officer and you almost ready to shoot the guy. How is that not self-explanatory?

"I'm not that kind of jealous person, Al." Dean sighed and scratched the side of his head before running his hand across his eyebrows. "If there was nothing between us at that point why exactly was I getting so uppity?"

I grinned in his direction but I close my eyes, put my head back against the glass. "Like I told you before, when we met the two of you were… well let's just say that you and Danni had a rocky start and not because there was something wrong, it was because you two are too much alike. Older siblings always watching out for the younger ones. Neither of you trusted each other, you didn't trust me and she didn't trust Sam. It all just kind of escalated and at some point in all that confusion you figured out that you could trust us."

"I knew I could trust you from the jump. If I didn't I wouldn't have let you anywhere near Sam, not with scissors and a needle!" Dean laughed. It was good to hear it even if it was sarcastic and I opened my eyes to see the look on his face. "That's it you know, that's why this is so intense, because your family."

"So I keep hearing," I whispered stretching my legs out putting my sock covered feet on his thighs. His hand came down and rested on my ankle as his thumb moved over the the top of my foot and he glanced over at me. "So anyway, you guys got closer and by that night you were together."

"That was it? We were just together?"

"See, I told you hearing it from me wasn't going to help you any. It's more of a feeling that you get when you're with her, like you do with me but different." And I heard him clear his throat in the dark. "I don't know what else you need to know. I mean, there's so much more to the two of you then I know. After April, I wasn't around". The look in his eyes as his head whipped in my direction told me that I must have been out of my mind even saying that to him. "Look, we didn't stay together after April. The demons attacked Danni's home, you took her to the bunker, I went back to Massachusetts and I left Sam with you."

"What do you mean you left Sam with me? Why wasn't he with you?" Dean questioned angry and unsure. "You needed to be protected, why the hell would he leave you?"

"Because I told him too!" I replied dryly. "If I knew anything about you guys there was one thing that rang true no matter what. It was you first and Sammy first and I intended to keep it that way. So, I sent him back to keep you and Danni safe."

"For how long?" And I sat there silently. "Ali, for how long?!"

Sighing, I cross my arms under the blanket. "Honestly, I don't remember. After that it still is kind of a blur in my memory, but I know that we get back together, the four of us, just can't remember when."

Dean's hold on my ankle tightened just a little giving me a reassuring squeeze before he turned back to look at the road ahead of him. I licked my lips dry from constant conversation and fell silent into the night. It seems like this was it, there was nothing more to say until the phone rang not more than fifteen minutes out of Decatur and I heard Sam's frantic voice over the line.

 _Stay in the car_ , he said. _I'll be right back,_ he said! Son of a bitch!

You should never listen to a Winchester, especially one who tosses the phone he had just been talking on with his brother, slams the car in park and runs out like a bat out of hell. STAY IN THE CAR! He must be out of his damned mind!

I grabbed the spectrum from my bag, tucked my gun in the back of my jeans and headed out into the abandoned house that Dean had disappeared into. This was probably one of the biggest mistake of my hunting career, but Sam and Dean were both in the building and there was no way I was sitting outside waiting for something stupid to happen.

Of course, that's when it happened. I ducked as the window shattered on the second floor, sending pieces of glass cascading down over me, but nothing flew out, so there was that. Wanting to yell up about how helpful it was to give their location, I decided against it and made my way past the unhinged door and up the stairs, gun in hand and spectrum stowed in its sheath.

As I rounded the corner towards the room I could hear the sound of men grunting, which could mean one of two things, but knowing these two, they were either getting their asses handed to them or winning. I was more apt to go with winning. What did you think I meant, you perverts?

I peeked in the room, Dean was moving away from the wall where he had just been tossed, albeit a bit slow for my taste, but it was the one on the ground, the one with the long hair that was in a tussle with whatever monster he happened to be pursuing at the time, that had me worried.

The thing had him pinned, it's hands to his throat, large pointed teeth bared and glowing red eyes. Ugly mother if I do say so myself and I swapped the gun out for the blade. Moving up as quietly as I could, one eye on Dean, who managed to lean up against the wall, staring wide-eyed at me while shaking his head and the other on the brother pinned to that floor, I was able to avoid the flailing limbs of the two involved and I waited until just the right moment to strike.

Sam was yet again pinned and the monster was going in for the bite as it were, but I raised my hand up and brought the blade plunging down into its back. It howled in pain, released Sam from its grip and turned its eyes on me.

"Dammit, Ali!" Dean growled and I raised my hands as if to say _I didn't know_ as the monster stepped towards me. I looked over at Dean, gave him just a shrug and a small grin as I caught the sudden movement of Sam from my side.

It happened pretty fast, Sam tackled me down to the floor, Dean grabbed the closest gun and fired three times, the monster snarled down at me as I was pinned beneath the taller man and suddenly Sam's arm was shielding my face as the thing exploded. The only thing I heard after that was the sound of the spectrum hitting the floor and Dean coughing up the demon dust he had inhaled.

Sam moved his arm, used his elbows to prop himself up as I turned my head to look at the scolding face of the blue-green eyes above me. As much as I wanted to stay and relish in the moment of his body pressed against mine, I needed to move and put my hands against his chest.

"That… was stupid," he grumbled and I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, but it saved your ass, didn't it?" I snarked and he shook his head. It was then that the expression of complete shock came over his face and he paled as he took in everything he could about me, like he was looking at a ghost.

"Sam, meet Ali," Dean laughed, which started a coughing fit.

"Do you mind?" I whispered and he shook his head as if clearing his thoughts, before he nodded and pushed himself off from me.

Dean, who had gotten to his knees, picked up the spectrum, set its handle towards me and slid it across the room before he finally got to his feet. He helped Sam up first, then reached down for me, only to give me a look that would have been seen as a reprimand.

"Yeah, I know, you said _stay in the car_." I laughed as I took his outstretched hand and he pulled me to my feet before his hand was on my cheek, his eyes were locked on mine. I slapped it away. "Dude, seriously, I'm not hurt, quit doting!"

"I'm not doting!" He snapped and reached out again, but I gave him a small shake and his hands clenched by his side before he turned to Sam, who only glanced back and forth between us.

"Dude what the hell did you shoot it with?" Sam asked as we headed out of the building. "Witch killers?"

"Good old fashioned silver bullets." Dean shrugged as Sam stopped, gave him a "huh" face and then continued walking. Dean looked back at me, winked and gave me a grin, before walking on.

Dean looked at me as we followed Sam to the motel he had been staying in. I mean, he really should have been looking at the road, but there he was with his eyes on me. I rolled mine, sighed and glanced over at him.

"You done?" I asked, "you get a good look?"

"What is up your ass?" He questioned, "And what the hell were you thinking running into an unknown situation with a gun and a knife? You didn't even know if that would stop it!"

"Hey I learned from the best," I smiled and watched as he rolled his eyes. "Look, you ran in there giving me nothing to go on, Sam was in there and, you're right, I didn't think, but I couldn't just sit back and not help. I guess it's not in my nature to stand idly by."

"It's not in your nature to do what you're told either." He sighed and reached over, taking my hand in his and instantly I saw him calm. "As much as Sam is going to let you have it as soon as we get to the motel, I'm glad you came in. I was pretty well… it got the jump on me."

"Yeah, I saw that." He glanced at me, released my fingers and put them back on the wheel, just as the Charger turned into a brown, roadside motel parking lot.

"You gonna behave?" He smirked, "I mean don't jump his bones as soon as you walk in the door."

"Dean, between you and Christian and your innuendos, and that…" I paused and felt the blush rush up on my face, remembering that we had decided not to talk about the K-I-S-S thing that happened, "yeah, I'll try to hold back."

"I thought so," he put the car in park and gave me just this half-cocked grin and I knew he was thinking something really perverted, but it only made him laugh out loud when I slapped him across the arm. "Hey! I'm sorry, I can't help it."

"Such a liar!" I watched as Sam unlocked the room door and glanced over at me, locking stares before he disappeared into the darkness. Dean only grinned as every expression fell from my face and he patted my thigh.

"Come on, Kid, he's not going to bite you," but he paused halfway out of the car before he turned back to me with a grin, "oh, I forgot, you like that."

"Screw you!" I grumbled and felt the heat in my cheeks as he laughed his way out of the car, closing the door behind him. I took a deep breath, gathered my thoughts and followed him out. Looking down the row, I caught a glimpse of the GTO parked near the manager's office.

Would you look at that, Christian delivered.

Venturing over, I managed to get the keys from the guy behind the desk, started her up and moved her next to Sam's charger. I also grabbed a second room right next to theirs and brought my bags in to get comfortable.

I grabbed the folded note that I had found on my seat and finally sat down to open it, scribbled almost illegibly was a _love letter_ from Christian.

 _Hey Kid,_

 _Whatever you're thinking, this isn't goodbye, I just can't be near Sam, you know. It's volatile. BUT, I want you to know that you will always have me. We're family now, whether you want me or not and I would do anything to protect you._

 _I'll be at the Roadhouse with Jo, we're going to help you start looking for Danni. I didn't want to admit it before but yeah, we know her pretty well and if you're looking for her, than I know it's important, especially with what I've seen between you and Dean._

 _She's been pretty messed up lately and she could use all the love she can get. I can see it in your eyes that you will give her that and you'll protect her, so if I find her first, I'll let you know._

 _Taking off now, text you when I arrive._

 _Damn, girl, you smell good._

 _BTW, I stole one of your t-shirts._

 _C.C._

He stole one of my shirts? What the hell, Christian! Ugh, like clothing wasn't scarce to begin with, now I was going to have to find my way to a damn Walmart and get some new ones.

Putting the note in my journal, I slipped the spectrum out, washed it and put it back where it belonged before I moved towards Sam's room not sure why I was so dead set on not having this conversation with him, especially after I had almost botched the hunt he was on.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and leaned on the wood beside the door, listening to the brothers inside the room for just a minute as I tried to get my hands and body to stop shaking.


	79. DH Remembrance - 13

Chapter 13

13 Reasons Why

It didn't take long to catch onto their conversation as I stood outside the door, head back, eyes closed, trying to catch my heart. That was _SAM_ in there and all I wanted to do was run into his arms.

"She's been with you only a couple days and what? You trust her?" Sam asked with trepidation as he sat close to the door. My guess, behind his computer at the table. "Don't you think that's a little weird? I mean what exactly do you know of her?"

Somewhere in the room, probably on the bed sitting exactly where he always did, I heard Dean sigh. "I know it's crazy and I know crazy is something we do, but Sam, I know her, you know her and trust me when I say this. You just got to try to remember this, even though it's the hardest thing in the world."

"Remember what exactly? I mean, yeah I remember April. I remember Ohio. I certainly haven't forgotten that damn vampire vision, but I don't remember her." Sam spoke up and I heard the laptop closed.

"Man, you've been drawing her for months now. I mean, your journal is filled with different pictures of her. You can't tell me that that doesn't make you wonder what the hell is going on? And I'm telling you I know."

"Yeah, but do you know why? I mean, did she say something to you? Did you hear her say any Latin on her breath? There could be a million and half ways she could put a spell on you." That was my Sam, always looking for the supernatural. But then again, who was I to argue because it kind of was something supernatural that did this. Cas did this. What exactly he did was part of the memories that were still eluding me. Sam continued even as Dean laughed. "I'm just saying there's got to be something that you're missing. You are too close to this, Dean."

"Dude, don't older brother me. My job is to be annoying, your job is supposed to be to just sit there and take it. And yeah, I found out a lot of things about us too. Things that are different the last few months."

"Of course the last two months are going to be different Dean. Dad died, we've been living through hell and now this woman shows up from I don't know where claiming she knows us from April! That doesn't give me much to go on, Man. I'm not saying that she's lying, but you gotta see it from my point of view. Yeah I've been drawing her, but I've always had visions. So what makes it any different?"

"Just listen to her Sammy. Even if it's just for shits and giggles, because some of the crap that she knows no one in the world would ever guess. Hell, our closest friends don't know half the crap she does."

"We don't have close friends, Dean. All of our close friends are dead."

"Way to be a Debbie Downer, Sammy. Listen, would you just give her a chance?"

"Fine, whatever! So when do we do this?" I heard him pause and Dean's boots hit the floor. Before I knew it I was looking up at the green eyed man and he was holding out of hand to me.

"I can't, Dean, I whispered softly. Still I felt my fingers slip into his. "He doesn't trust me. He's not going to sit and just listen to what I have to say."

"Okay, so you'll take me on, make my ass sit down and hear you out, but what you're afraid of my little brother?" He laughed which made me roll my eyes. "I thought you were a big bad hunter. There's nothing Ali's afraid of." He mocked and I reached out to smack him with my free hand but he grab that one too, brought the back of it to his lips and winked at me as he kissed it softly. "Come on, he's not going to stick a knife anywhere it doesn't belong."

"Oh, that's comforting." I whispered and let him pull me into the room.

Sam sat exactly where I had pictured him, but this time he was sitting like Dean usually did. He had his elbows on his knees, leaning forward and a beer in his hand. I made my way over to the dresser making sure there was a clear spot before I hopped up. I could see that this got an unusual reaction from Sam. Like it was something that he had seen before and it wasn't unusual for someone sit on the dresser.

"Why don't you sit in a chair like every other normal person?" Dean asked as he found his spot on the bed.

"Why would I want to sit on those awful chairs? Half the time they're broken, there's no support and my ass is just going to sink down into him anyway." I said to him full of sarcasm and a comment popped in my head that was just going to either set him off with a grin or make him roll his eyes. "Besides who doesn't like something hard under their ass?"

And, yep, there went the eyes. It got a smile from Sam. I turned to look at the younger brother, took a deep breath and let my eyes travel over him, picking up on the little things that changed over the months.

His hair was a little shorter than I thought it was going to be, but then again it was still typical Sam hair. His eyes were a little bit darker and I know that he had seen some things, especially with his father, but there was something else, something just under the surface, that made me wonder if there wasn't more to what he was feeling. Body-wise, he was Sam, tall, muscular, everything that made him, well, him and I shivered as I looked him over.

"You done?" Dean snickered which drew my attention away from his brother. I looked at him with the best stoic face that I could muster, then tilted my head just a little as I narrowed my eyes. "Great now she looks like Cas."

"Okay," Sam spoke up, "how are we going to do this?" And that brought my eyes back to him.

"The, ah, best way I can do it is explain some stuff to you. How we met, etc." Sam sat back in the chair crossing his arms over his chest.

"How did it work for Dean?"

"I told Dean some stuff vague stuff and then it just kinda came to him." I shrugged and looked at the older brother. "I don't know, it works different for everybody."

"How did it work for you?" I turned back to Sam when he asked this and took a deep breath.

"The other morning I woke up saying your name," I whispered softly. "It's when I started noticing things around my house were different and then I was told that this was the ninth time that I had remembered. When I asked what was going on, what I got was the bull crap story that was made up to protect me."

"You never told me about this." Dean whispered and I shook my head

"My main concern wasn't telling you the lies that I was told. I needed to get you to remember, not to let you see what they were trying to make me forget. If that makes any sense." I leaned forward on the dresser, grasping my hands on the edge of the wood and I looked down at the strange pattern in the brown carpet below my feet. "According to those protecting me everything in April that I know now never happened. The story I was told started at 8:43 p.m. on April 14th, when I was blindsided by a Mack truck and left me in a coma for a week. The whole week we were together."

I jumped down from the dresser, quickly walked next door and grabbed my journal out of the backpack. When I returned I slipped the photograph out of the pages and handed it to Sam on the way by. He looked over the picture in his hand, scrutinized it for what seemed like forever before I heard that little sound leave his lips.

"Huh." He said softly and handed it off to Dean. This was the one that Christian had been staring at and Dean recognized it. I watched him run a finger over me and then he brought it closer and I watch his eyes go over Danni. "Okay so I don't get it, how is it that you have a picture of us with you in front of an Impala?"

"Well that part I'm still getting. From what I remember, it was one of the things that we did while we were out there, a photoshoot with an Impala. That picture," and I pointed to the picture in Dean's hands, "was one of the bunch that the photographer had happened to take while we weren't looking and if I concentrate hard enough, I'm pretty sure we are having a discussion about Stull Cemetery." I watched as the boys looked at each other when I mentioned that name, they didn't say anything, just exchanged glances. "Don't worry we didn't go there."

There was a look in Dean's eyes as he looked over the picture and I realize that he was remembering that whole conversation. His gaze flashed to mine and suddenly he looked just a little angry. Yeah, we had had a fight and I'm pretty sure he was remembering every word, but I turned away and looked towards Sam, before I continued.

"So how do I get you?" I whispered and hopped down from the dresser biting my lower lip.

"Get me? Lady, you don't even know me." Sam said sarcastically and I glanced at Dean, who had a look of shock on his face, before I turned back to the younger man, moved up and stood between his legs as they were stretched out in front of him. His eyes went over me as if he was taking in everything for the first time and I watched them darken just a bit as the pulse in his neck jumped. "So tell me how do you think you're going to get me?

"Close your eyes." But I watch him shake his head. "Okay, you can sit there with them open, but it's not going to do anything for you this is kind of a mental exercise. I don't know how good you can visualize the situation."

"And that's going to get you where, how?"

"I forgot you like to play Twenty Questions," I said smiling and I pulled the other chair up in front of him before I sat down and leaned forward, elbows on my knees. "Okay, we can do it a different way. You just sit there and listen and I'll talk."

"Okay, shoot." He said to me as he reclined. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly before I began.

"So picture this, you and your brother are sitting in a Waffle House somewhere in the vicinity of West Jefferson, Ohio on the night of April 14th around about 8:43 p.m. Dean looks out the window, not anything unusual. A coffee in his hand, looks like he's been beat to hell and you're sitting in your booth with your laptop open and your back to the rest of the world." I watched him roll his eyes as he looked at Dean as if to say _am I really going to have to listen to this bull crap?_ but Dean just shrugged and gestured for me to continue. "Am I going on or what?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it Waffle House. Keep going."

"Okay, so you're sitting there doing something on your laptop, but Dean won't stop staring. So, you turn and then you notice a girl sitting in the corner who kind of looks like me. You give Dean face of _you gotta be joking_ , but you just go back to what you were doing. As the night wears on though you notice that your brother is not dropping the subject. You don't care who she is, it was bugging you. So you glanced back once more and notice that she's got her feet up with her tablet on her lap, picking away at her dinner. Then, Dean says it's time to go, drops a couple bills down on the table and you pack up your laptop. As you turn, you finally get a good look at her and then you realize this was a girl from your dreams"

"Okay wait, you already knew that I had dreams about you or that I've been drawing you for the last couple months how is this anything new?"

"Give me a second and I'll get to it." I stated as I stood and decided that, yeah, sitting was not going to be my best option especially for this one. Some part of me remembered a discussion between Sam and I about how his visions had never left him alone, he never had the time to be a kid. He'd always have that demon blood coursing through his veins and I was about to show him exactly how much I knew about his past.

"So here's the deal with the girl, like I said, you've been dreaming about her for the last couple days. The problem with the dream was it wasn't a dream at all, it was a vision. A vision of you being unable to save her from a vampire that night in her hotel room and yeah, it turns out that her hotel room is two doors down from yours."

Sam sat up quickly, as soon as I had said it. There was no way that anyone should know what he was dreaming about, especially someone he had just met. I watched Dean sit up straight as if he was getting ready to jump at the first sign of Sam moving in the wrong direction, but I knew I was safe. There was no reason for him to be on the defensive because no matter how much time had passed or what he had gone through, yeah, this was _my_ Sam and I knew just what he was capable of.

"How could you?" He paused, "How could you possibly have known about that vision? I never even told Dean where I had gotten your image from?" I watched Sam stare his brother down, but Dean just shook his head a little as if to say that he wasn't quite sure he understood either. "What else? What else do you know?"

"I know that in your head you couldn't stop it from happening, but I'm telling you that everything you believe should have come true that night did." I held my breath for just a second as I patted my fingers against my leg, trying to think of what to to do next, about how Sam's brain would work in a situation like this. "If you were having visions of me, if you knew what I look like then who's to say that in your dreams, everything that had happened that night, wasn't real?"

"Okay, so let's say that my dreams were real and I remember every vision that I've had, every dream that can be seen as some sort of prophetic piece of a puzzle. So, Ali, you tell me exactly what happened that night?"

This was perfect, because I had never forgotten our first meeting. I tented my fingers over my nose for just a second, trying to figure out how to start this off, but then it came to me. I turned and looked at him, stuffed my hands in my pockets and looked up at the door.

"So after the diner, you change from your suit into a pair of jeans and t-shirt. Not unusual for you, but something that you were more comfortable in then that suit and tie." I watched his eyes grow just a little bit larger as I continued. It was as if the room around me faded and I was standing outside that hotel room with him again. "You decided that you wanted something to drink and beer was not on your top of the list. So, you got a couple bucks from Dean's wallet and went outside to the soda machine. When you did, you happen to notice the girl from the diner was two doors down. She was fumbling with her keys and you smile as she ducked inside, but that was kind of the point when you realize she was someone from your visions.

"A little while later, when Dean ducked out to get some coffee or beer, whatever it was that he was interested in that moment, you needed to know exactly who she was. You needed to talk to her. So you walked over to the door, knocked, and when she opened you came out with: _hi my brother and I saw you at the diner earlier. You know you…"_

"You had a headlight out, right?" Sam finished as his eyes came to rest on me."How did you know that?

"Easy," I replied, "because my response was: I guess I'll have to take care of that in the morning."

Sam stood up quickly and I pressed myself against the dresser. This sudden move had Dean to his feet, but I raised my hand holding the older Winchester off as Sam began to pace, but not move any closer to me.

Sam tapped his hands against his thighs, fingers drumming to the beat of whatever song was in his head or whatever song he used to keep his mind straight, I couldn't tell. The thought process that he was going through in order to keep this information straight in his head was working, because I watched his eyes go from anger to acceptance in a blink.

"Alright, so I get that we knew each other in April. I get that at some point in time, I knocked on your door and you opened it." He mumbled and I shook my head because that's all it really was. I cross my arms as I looked at it he stopped pacing, turn to me and stared me in the eyes. "But that doesn't mean that we were anything else accept a casual meet and greet."

I smiled at this and shook my head. Yeah, I knew it wasn't going to be that easy. So on to the new tactic and I moved away from the dresser. Taking a deep breath I looked at both the boys and shrugged.

"Well I could go on if you'd like. I mean, I have an entire week's worth of memories with you and I can get pretty graphic." Dean snickered at this comment since he knew exactly what I was talking about. "Yeah there's a barn scene that I could get pretty detailed into, how fast you needed it and everything."

I watched Sam clenching his teeth and that slight movement of the muscle in his jaw told me that I was getting on his nerves. I thought it was a good thing.

"I need five minutes alone with my brother." Sam's stated as he walked up towards me stopping just close enough so that I had to tilt my head back to look up a him.

"That's fine," and my hand reached out slipping under the loose hem of the tee-shirt that he was wearing and I listened to him hiss as my fingers touched the scar that went just above his hip. "And while the two of you are talking, ask him about this."

I watched as his fists clenched as I moved my fingers along the line of the scar that I had sewn up myself. He hadn't moved back from my touch and I didn't know whether to smile or not, because that could mean one of two things. He was looking for a weakness or he was just giving into the feeling of somebody's hands being on the skin. Not that I thought at any point in time that the time we spent away from each other he spent alone.

I slipped my hand out from under his shirt, but not before running it across his hip bones, ones that disappeared below the low rise jeans he was wearing and faintly I heard a growl. A growl that sent shivers through my body and I glanced over at Dean, whose own eyes were taking in every part of me before I exited out through the door leaving them to their discussion.

I paused outside to catch my breath. Had I really just done that? Did I really just put my hand on Sam's hips? I wanted nothing more than to go back inside and do it again, but I know he needed that time. I leaned against the wall head back and close my eyes.

I could hear Sam's voice even through the closed door, but then again the window was open and the the tone of it carried. "What the hell, Dean? How much of her past do you know?"

"I told you she knew us," Dean said quietly, but just listening to him I knew that he was keeping his cool because Sam was about to lose his. "There's just things about Ali, Sam, that you need to know."

"I need to know everything, Dean! What happened? I get that she was the one at the diner, the one at the hotel, but after that knock I don't remember anything. I mean nothing that has her in it! She knew about my scar! She didn't hesitate when she reached under my shirt and put her hand on it. The only ones who know anything about it is you and Christian," and there was just a split second where I could hear the panic in Sam's voice, but when he spoke again the control was back. "Tell me everything. Everything that you remember."

"That could take all night Sammy," Dean sighed, but I heard the bedsprings move and I knew that he had gotten up, "Just give me a second to check on her and I'll let you in on what I know."

With that I rushed to the room, made sure that I kicked off my shoes and sat down at the table with my journal in hand. I had purposely left the door open about two inches and when I heard the light knock I looked up from the book at the man who stood in the doorway.

"So, ah, Sam needs a little bit more than five minutes." Dean said nervously and I watched as he took the seat across from me rubbing his thighs with his hand. "In fact, he kind of wants me to tell him everything."

"Tell him anything he wants," I whispered as I leaned my arms on the table. "Dean, there aren't any rules to this. I don't know what to tell you. I don't think it'll screw it up if you tell him, but I know he has to remember some of it on his own. Just give him what you got, we'll go from there."

"I don't want to screw it up, Ali," Dean sighed. I moved from my side of the table to stand in front of him. He reached out with his hands, placed one in each side of my hips and pulled me down onto his lap so that I straddle his thighs. So not a position I wanted to be caught in. His hands moved from my waist, his arms wrapped around me, one hand pressing between my shoulders as he held me tightly in an embrace. I slowly ran my hands over his shoulders until I could circle my arms around his neck, placing my lips against his cheek as I breathed in the scent of the skin. "This is scary as hell Ali," he whispered, his lips coming down onto my shoulders as he took a breath. "If I screw this up, if I screw you up, Sam won't look at you twice. How do I live with that?

"I swear you're not going to screw anything up Dean," and I kissed him softly. "Like I said, go in there and tell him anything he wants to know. We'll figure everything out afterwards. I think I'm going to take a shower anyway and it's getting late so I have to check in with the kids."

Dean hugged me a little tighter, kissed me quickly on the cheek and pushed me off his lap, helping me stay steady on my feet before he quickly let me go and disappeared out the door. I gave him a bit of a grin even though I knew he couldn't see it. I shut the door behind him and slipped the lock over the top of the Bolt. Yeah, this was going to work out so well. Realizing that I had left most of my stuff in the back of the GTO I headed out with the keys to grab my bags.

I caught part of the conversation that Sam and Dean were having as I moved into my own room passing the window on my right. It was easy enough to stand right inside my own doorway and listen without them knowing.

The first words that I heard from the Sam's mouth shocked me.

"What is she to you?" He whispered and I heard Dean put the beer bottle down on the table. "I mean, I get that all four of us were together at some point in time, but the way you look at her. Are you sure it's her and I that are together and not the two of you?"

Ali and I have a… look, it's crazy," Dean said softly, "Neither of us are quite sure what's going on, but we're working on it. Listen Sam, I'm not the one she wants! I'm not the one that's meant to be with her. So, I know you got questions and I already promised her that I'd try not to screw this up. So, besides that, what do you want to know?"

"The scar," Sam growled, which made me think the fact that he couldn't remember was making him angry. "Tell me how I got the scar."

Dean took a deep breath and for the first time ever I was able to hear his side of what happened that night. "I think I was out for a smoke when I got jumped by one of the vamps. It was late, I know I looked down the rows and all the lights were off. You came out swinging. I know that from what I saw, you tried to lead him away from her room. However, it grabbed you by the shirt and tossed you right through her window. I've never seen anything like it. When I ran into the room you were down on the floor holding your side and she was standing there with a blade, swinging hard at this ugly son of a bitch. I don't think I told her to duck, she just instinctively kind of moved and I took his head off. The first thing she did was reach down and press against your wound."

Dean got up and move from the table. I heard the door to the mini-fridge open and the clank of glass as he grabbed another beer before sitting back down across from his brother and clearing his throat, ready for another round.

It took him just a second to get settled before I heard the top pop off the beer bottle and he blew out a breath. "She looked right at you and said _you got to lay down_. She didn't flinch, she didn't freak out, she just went into this mode like she just had to get the bleeding to stop. You grabbed her wrist, letting me see the scratches that the vampire had giving her and my heart dropped. The first words out of your mouth to her were: _you're bleeding_." Dean snickered as he took a swig of the beer and I heard him put the bottle down on the table. "I couldn't believe my eyes. Hell, I wasn't even sure I heard her right, she just reached out said to you…"

"Yeah, how about that?" Sam whispered, but there was almost a smile in his voice and I couldn't listen anymore. It brought back too many memories and I slipped into my room, leaving the door unlocked this time as I headed for the shower.

I was laying on the bed, curled up in the pillow when the door opened slowly and I drew the gun from beneath me. I let the slide click back audibly as I flipped off the safety just as the shadow of a man stepped up to the side of the bed.

"Jesus, Ali!" Dean growled, putting his hands in the air as I reached over and clicked on the nightstand light. Rolling my eyes I safetied the gun and set it down slowly as I sat up. Dean moved over to sit down right next to me on the bed. I put my head back down, still not quite awake and felt his fingers brush over my cheek. "Don't stay in here tonight."

"Ugh!" I growled and rolled over onto my back, putting my arm across my eyes. "Explain to me how that is going to work?"

"You sleep in our room, pretty simple, Kid," he smiled at my aggravation.

"And tell me, wise one, who am I sleeping _with_?" I questioned, but knew that it was the wrong choice of words.

"I thought you might want to wait for him to remember, but you know, if you feel froggy," he smiled and I looked at him from under my arm, "I'll just watch."

"Voyeur!" I snapped and brought my hand down from my head, gripping what I could of his thigh with my fingers and I closed my eyes. "Seriously, Dean."

"I get it," he let the pads of his fingers rest on the small exposed part of my stomach as he leaned closer on the bed. "You can stay with me. I swear to you, nothing will happen." His voice was softly, almost as gentle as the way his fingers caressed my stomach and I had to suppress the noise that wanted to escape as I thought of how Sam's hand would feel just as good as Deans. I let him go and slipped out from beneath his touch before I turned my head to look at him from across the bed. "I can't let you be here by yourself, you know that and I can't leave Sam, not with what we've been talking about."

"What are you talking about?" I questioned, worry filling my chest.

Dean rubbed his hands together, "we got to talking about Dad."

And my heart dropped.

"I'm sorry," I reached for his hand and saw his eyes following my fingers as I rested them on his. "If Sam needs you and you need me there, I'll come," I whispered and felt his fingers take mine as he nodded. I grabbed my gun and the spectrum before I stuffed them both in my bag and shut the door. Sam looked up at me as I walked in with Dean following close behind, his hand on the small of my back. I paused in the door and met his gaze "You're okay with this, right?"

"Yeah," he stated softly and I watched him suck in on his bottom lip as Dean gave me a little push further into the room. I kept my eyes on Sam for the most part as Dean lead me over to the second bed and gave me a little nudge to lay down before he grabbed the blanket and covered me up. It didn't take long for me to start to feel the weight of drowsiness once more and I gave in as Dean shut off the light. "G'night, Ali."

"G'night, Sammy," I mumbled back, but almost heard a light laugh at my reply before I felt Dean's lips on my temple and he backed away, letting me fall into the darkness.


	80. DH Remembrance - 14

You're not a pumpkin, Princess.

I woke up two times that night. Once was when the bed moved, the mattress behind me sagged and I felt Dean wrap his arms around my waist to pull me closer, tucking his arm under my pillow. It wasn't just the movement that had the light sleep I was in faltering, but also the way his thumb moved up and down, gently caressing my stomach over the shirt that made me shake and his movement instantly stopped.

"Sorry," he breathed into my ear and I shifted back against him, thankful for the warmth and comfort, but it made me wonder just how many times Cas had actually laid with me in my bed doing this. There was no memories of actual sex, but I know that he had stayed the night on numerous occasions, maybe more often than not during the week.

"Hmm," I replied, trying to find the way to make my words work, "S'okay."

He laughed, at least his body did, without making a sound. I felt the laugh at my back, the way the muscles in his stomach moved and for just a second my eyes flickered open to see Sam sitting on the bed across from me, taking off his boots. His eyes glanced up from the laces, locked on what little of the blue of mine that he would see and he paused in his efforts to get the knot out before that gaze traveled back to his boots and my lids won the battle, closing me off from the world.

Like I said, there were two times that I woke up that night and the other had me sitting up without any warning. There wasn't a dream to push me out of, not even a noise in the night, but I found my eyes wide open and my body moving into fight position, which just meant that I pushed up to lean on my left elbow as my eyes lock on the man sitting before me.

When last I looked he had been sitting on the bed untying his boots, but now he sat on the floor between the beds. He had a tight, white tank on, his bare knee visible between us as he rested his lower arm on it and his eyes were making a slow progression from the way my neck was exposed as my shirt hung loosely on my shoulder, to my bare feet and back.

"You okay, Sam?" I questioned, but instantly looked back at Dean to see if he had moved. His breathing stayed steady and only the fingers on my hip twitched before he settled back down. My sight moved to Sam again and I watched the hunter's stoic face as I let my weight lower back to my pillow. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I had a dream," he replied, but his expression never changed. "About you, about this."

"About our sleeping in this hotel?" I smiled, and watched the corner of his lips move just enough to catch a grin before it faded.

"No," he paused, "of you and Dean, like that and me on my bed. It made me wonder. If I'm supposed to be yours, then why do I keep seeing you with my brother."

"Well," I rubbed my eyes as I blinked, "the only time we ever slept like this was when we first met. You were in a bed alone because you were knocked on your ass by pain medication and about seventy-two stitches."

To watch his eyes change when I brought up little things that only I would know was priceless. You could almost see everything working in those eyes, like he was remembering back to that one time where he probably counted how many there were and I watched his hand reach down to his waist.

"I woke up during the night and saw you two sleeping on the bed," he rubbed his forehead gently before stretching out his arm again. "I don't think I have ever seen Dean protective, not like that. Sure, he has this thing about sleeping facing me, usually he's the one by the door, but to see him like that, with you, it kind of threw me."

"Yeah, threw you how?" I was beginning to get curious about where this was going.

"Dean trusted you enough to let you stitch me up, cut off my shirt and basically take care of me. I remember the whole conversation before that, before the meds, when you were ordering him around to grab supplies." Sam shook his head and shrugged. "There is no way he would have left me here to run down and get something _you_ asked him for if he didn't know I would be safe."

"Sam, besides the fact that I am all of about five-foot nothing, even you injured, your brother knew you could take me in a heartbeat and not cause any further damage. That's why he agreed to get the stuff." I groaned and saw his fist clench.

"Did he watch you like a hawk? While you stitched me up?" I nodded because there was nothing else to say. He didn't need to know the conversation we had about Cas. "And he helped you with those scratches, didn't he?"

"Because he didn't want me passing out on my own before I was able to help you. Where is this going, Sam?" I growled and that grin came up on his lips.

"He trusted you, Ali, I saw it in his eyes. He couldn't let you go because there were vampires after you, sure, that was the reason at the beginning, but once he puts his trust in you, then you're in for life. There was no way he was letting you out of his sights."

"Yeah, I kinda got that when he told me that I couldn't leave, that he would follow my ass to Joplin and that's all there was too it, so you're point?" I was tired and my eyes were fighting as I watched him put his knee down and come closer until I could feel his breath on my face. He bit down on his bottom lip, just a bit before he reached out and ran his fingers from my forehead to my chin and then settle there. I closed my eyes at the feeling, having needed for it for such a long time, but I breathed in deeply before letting it out with one word. "Sam."

"I trusted you because Dean did, Ali, that's why I started," he admitted, and my eyes opened to focus on him. "I don't know what you're looking for here, but," I heard him swallow before he sighed, "I'm not sure I'm going to be the one that will be able to give it to you. I'll try, but only because he trusts you. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," I said dryly and backed away from his fingers, "and if that's the case, you need to stop touching me." Sam brought his hand back slowly, like the thought of not reaching out hurt him and I watched his fingers curl into a fist. "Go to sleep, you're going to have a case to work on in the morning."

I didn't wait for his response, but turned over on the bed, putting my forehead right under Dean's chin as I pressed up against him as close as I could. I didn't want to think of Sam behind me as I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to stow away the emotions that were building. I knew Sam wouldn't be easy, but to find out the only reason he even reached out in the beginning was that he was taking cues from Dean, that hurt. It didn't make any sense looking back, especially with how interested he seemed to be when he knocked on the door, but it still hurt.

I listened to Dean let a deep breath out before his hand slid around my hips and up my back, fingers spread wide, as he pressed the palm flat against my back, the muscles in his arms tightened. I heard the sound of the bed behind me shift under Sam's weight and I let my body relax in the older brother's hold before sleep took over once again. The problem however was, the dreams didn't stay away this time.

"You're wrong!" Sam screamed in my dream and I felt my body jump against Dean trying to reign in the feelings as the darkness inside seemed to take over. "You're wrong and you know it!"

"You got a better idea?" I growled back and stepped right up to him.

"Yeah, why don't you take your theories and go home." He snapped and I know I took a step back. Did I mention that I hated dreaming? But this one, I just didn't understand. "A succubus, Ali, really? Did you happen to notice that all of our victims were female?"

"Actually, yeah I did." I answered and sat back on the chair, glanced at Dean, who was standing in the doorway, back against the sill, with his arms crossed and a beer in hand. "But I bet you didn't notice the pattern."

"Sometimes, there's not one." he snapped in reply and I took in a deep breath.

"Yeah, because never have we ever run into a monster that has NO pattern what so ever." I flipped over the newspaper, catching the headline, _Fifth Victim Found._

"Dean!" Sam barked and looked up at the man in the doorway, "a little help here?"

"You're kidding right? I'm not getting in between a lover's quarrel." Dean smiled and winked at me as I looked up at him.

"Not funny!" Sam's voice had gone deep, but Dean's words stuck in my head.

"Lover's quarrel," I whispered and grabbed my Journal, flipping to the articles that I had saved and both men were suddenly watching me intensely. Scanning over them, I shook my head. I should have known, how could I have missed it. "Crap!"

"What?" Dean stood straight at the door and moved towards the front of the table.

Sam moved to stand behind me, his hand on the back of my chair. Despite the fact that he had just recently been trying to take my head off, I felt his fingers dancing over my shoulder, ever so lightly as his hand came down on the table beside me and he leaned in close enough that I could smell the light aftershave from his morning routine. Dean snickered as I glanced up at him and rolled my eyes. He knew what Sam being so close was doing to me and he was enjoying watching me be tortured.

"It's a pattern." I sighed and shook my head, a movement that had me making contact with Sam's cheek and I turned to look at him. I watched the edge of his mouth turn up as he continued to look at my notes. Holy Hell, he knew just what he was doing, that son of a bitch! I took a deep breath and decided two could play that game. Adjusting myself in the seat I moved a hand from the table and brought it down on the waist of his jeans, slipping my fingers under his shirt to touch the hot flesh of his back. Sam took a sharp breath in before clearing his throat and I pointed at the papers. "Estranged husband, former boyfriend, all of the women have one and all state the same thing, they had some sort of fight before the victim left for the bar."

"Okay, so jilted lovers, got it," Dean whispered, but when I looked up to see if he really did he raised a brow like he didn't know and I rolled my eyes. He was testing me.

"A succubus uses their powers to create mental instability and sometimes that can come in the form of infidelity, the need to act out as in reckless sexual encounters, living the line…" I sat back and looked between them. "Huh, are you sure you don't know any? Sounds kind of like you two."

Sam gave me a hard stare, but Dean just stood and crossed his arms.

"So, you're saying that it ramps them up, gets them to fight and then send them to a bar?" Dean spoke up and I raised my brows at him.

"Get her moving, get her drunk and take her home?" Sam shrugged and I glanced over his profile. Yeah, not the thing I would have expected him to say. He stood straight, looked at Dean then at me and gave me a wicked grin. "I think I have a plan, but first, we need to get you out of those clothes."

AND with that, I sat up!

My head was throbbing as I sat at the table, researching through the different downloaded archives and the links that Jones had sent me from the computer database at the shop.

Dean walked in and set three coffees down on the table along with whatever pastries he managed to grab and I set back inside rubbing my hands over my face.

"You know, you don't look so good," Dean stated and I sneered at.

"Yeah, you aren't that good looking either, Pal!" And I watch the small smile come across his face.

"Where's Sammy?"

"Ah...think he went to the library, said something about looking into the deaths of the other three victims. Okay so maybe he didn't say library, was it police station?" I shook my head. My brain was so foggy that I couldn't keep up with myself and Dean finally got irritated enough to close the journal, close the laptop and take my hand.

"You ever get these visions before?" He asked as he brushed my hair back from my face.

"No, they just started when I woke up a couple days ago." I managed to whisper, but even that was starting to make my head throb and I reached for the cup of coffee that he slid in my direction. One that never made it to my lips, but instead I put my head down on the table.

"You need to relax," Dean sighed, as his hand came up and he started massaging my neck. "Go jump in the shower, we can go over this once Sam comes back."

"Yeah, like I'm getting undressed in the vicinity of you at any given point in time." I laugh joking at him and Dean just smiled.

"You know if you keep this up we're just going to have to start dating." That made me sit up straight, but I watched the smile fall from his face as my eyes thought of the dream the night before. "Ali, I was kidding."

"No, it wasn't that. I mean, it wasn't what you said. Had to do with dating." I mumbled as I went through the paperwork on my desk. That was the part of the dream that I had forgotten. The little clue that Dean had given me in my dream, he had also given me in the waking world. "Okay so get this," and I watched him roll his eyes. "Every man that they spoke to when they interviewed was asked what was the victim's personality. Those people were listed as either an ex-husband, estranged husband and ex-lover, you know, something that had to do with them not being with each other. Or they stated that the victim had been acting strange the last few days until they got into a heated argument where she left and went to a bar."

"Okay, so jilted lovers, ya got that," and again I looked at him because he had said something along that same lines in my dream. I hope to God this didn't end with Sam telling me he needed to get me out of my clothes. I shook my head and grab my notebook where I had written everything down right after the dream, opened it to the page that I had marked and slid it over to me. He read over the few pages I had written down quickly and his eyes came up to meet mine. "You got all of this from a dream?"

"Yeah they're usually pretty detailed. In fact, last night started with Sam and I at each other's throat."

"Well that's gotta suck!" He mumbled under his breath and I slapped him across the arm. "Listen Kid, your first one about the night hag wasn't completely right, was it? Don't put too much stock in your visions, just write down the information you need and we'll go from there." I nodded, but gave him this look of uncertainty and he put his hand on mine. "Ali, I'm not going to let anything happen to you and I'm not going to let anything happen to Sam? You gotta believe me when I say I'm going to protect you."

"It's not that, Dean, it's I have all this information and no place to start. Not only that, I got Sam who won't give me the time of day to even explain to him what I know." My frustration was coming through in my voice and I move the chair back to put space between him and I. I slipped past him and headed towards the bathroom before pausing to glance back at it. "When Sam comes in, try to see if he can narrow down where a bar would be within three miles of a sawmill."

"Three miles of a sawmill? That's pretty specific. I thought you said you didn't get that kind of information from your dreams?"

"It was just a thought. I remember the first one, when he was outside, when I couldn't save him, I remember the smell of sawdust in the air."

"You are one strange little Kid."

I smiled at him as I shook my head and headed into the bathroom where I closed the door and looked at myself in the mirror. Yeah, I looked tired as hell, but I wouldn't trade any of this for anything. I just needed at some point to remind Dean that I was older than him.

I wasn't in the shower more than a few minutes when it hit me that the hot water that was relaxing my skin was suddenly burning it, like little knives stinging me as they were constantly being thrown and I tried to find the knob to turn it off.

Just as my hand touched the cold metal of the hot water a flash sent me reeling backwards. Something inside my head was opening up. It felt like a saw was drilling deep into my skull. I fell back against the wall and waited for the pain to subside, but that was when the curtain was pulled across and I was looking up into the bright blue eyes of the woman with the dark hair. Her ruby red lips smiled at me with evil intent as she crouched down beside the bathtub and folded her fingers together in front of her.

"I told you you needed to remember Alison! You're not listening." Her voice was almost hypnotic and I found myself staring into her angel-like eyes. "Do you need a little help? I can do that for you!"

"Who are you? What do you want?" And I wanted to go on, I had more questions, but as soon as the words left my mouth a searing pain went through my head once more and I could almost see myself swinging. Yes, that was it. I was swinging a blade at someone, a demon with black eyes, but that wasn't what was hurting. It was the slices on my skin and each time I swung I could feel a new one digging in. "Stop! Whatever this is make it stop!"

"I told you you had to remember Alison, but it looks like you need a little help." I watched her reach out and suddenly her palm was on my forehead and her fingers were digging into my scalp. The energy she let out send waves of heat that clashed with the pain making me double over with nausea. "Stop fighting it Alison! The more you fight it the worse it'll be!"

"Who are you?" I begged, but she only giggled like a little girl, released my head and stood up grinning down at me before she walked away, fading Into the darkness.

As soon as she was completely gone the pain struck once more and this time I could see everything. I watched myself step out of the night. I watched the blade swing at the creatures, cut them down in one slice. There was so much blood, but with it I could feel the power and then I was backed against the wall. The face of the man was one that I didn't remember and I reached out and grasped his face with both my palms digging my nails into his skull. Not only did I push my energy towards him, but I pulled the darkness from him and took it into me.

I screamed!

I swatted off the hands that held me, feeling too large ones cup my face as I struggled in the shower. The water felt like needles, the heat like it was burning my skin off and then there was the quiet shush of a voice which tempted me to open my eyes, but the pain that I was feeling was too much and the eyes of the man that held me, haunted me.

"Ali!" Sam's voice triggered a new scene in my head as I watched him step into the room while I turned, my hands covered in blood, the blade in my right hand dripping with it and suddenly I was in his arms and his kiss was full of fire, but his voice shook me from it. "Ali come on. Come back to me!"

And again I heard his voice, but just a bit in the distance, " _Come on, Ali. Baby, come back to me."_

I felt his thumb graze over my cheek and slowly my body decided that it was going to listen to him and I stopped fighting. I stopped fighting and brought my knees to my chest, trying my best to catch my breath. I grasped his wrists with my hands, just trying to hold on to something real and slowly I open my eyes. Sam's worried look wasn't anything new to me, but this one was also filled with something that looked strangely like fear and I watched his gaze travel down me.

"Come on, Ali, got to get you out of here," he said softly, when he decided that I was stable enough to let go and I saw him reach up and grab the towel off the toilet seat.

He opened it outward so that he was able to wrap it around me when I lowered my legs and I felt his breath against my cheek as he wrapped his arms around my waist and hoisted me from the tub. I didn't walk to the bed, I was carried and once there he didn't even bother to offer clothes. He's just wrapped me in the comforter, leaving me naked under it. I watched him scurry around looking for odds and ends, but it was when he grabbed the first aid kit that my eyes widen.

Sam's sat down by the bed pulling gauze out of the black bag that the medical supplies were in and I watched as he rolled it up and moved a little closer. I swallowed hard as he reached and I believe he saw the nervousness in my eyes, because he hesitated just a bit before his hand came and rested on the edge of the comforter.

"I'm just going to take a look, Ali ,I swear," and slowly he moved the fabric away from my chest only until it hit the coarse fibers of the towel. His eyes lowered from mine to the bare skin below him. I listen to him sigh. "What the hell happened in there? Where did you get these from?"

When I look down to see where his fingers reached out to I noticed the light red marks of scratches and I drew in a deep breath. I remembered them, the way that they were angled across my skin and I put my head back on a pillow closing my eyes.

"When we met in April I was attacked by vampires behind a gas station restroom," and slowly his fingers came to rest stopping their inspection but right above my heart. "The vampire that I fought was able to get in some nasty little cuts and these look exactly like them."

"Where was Dean? Where was I? I thought we were protecting you?" He rattled off questions, but I could tell that knowing I had gotten hurt under his watch bothered him and he changed the topic. "What happened just now, in the bathroom?" His voice went soft and I wasn't sure if he was using it to keep me calm or if this truly was how he questioned the people that he needed answers from. I open my eyes and locked on his letting the feel of the blue-green orbs dive deep into my soul. Oh how I missed him! "Ali tell me what happened!"

"The other night when we, when Dean and I, took on the night hag in Upland, I saw somebody."

"Saw somebody who?"

"I don't know who she is, Sam, I wish I did! It would make it so much easier to explain this, because I know I've seen her before, a long time ago. I could describe her to you all day, but as to who or what she really is, I have no idea." Sam sat back, his finger sliding down as he moved and he rested the pads of them on the swell of my breast. It was an unconscious move, something that definitely made my heart race. His need to touch, our need for contact at least, was still there even if his memories weren't. "She told me I needed to remember. That first night at the hunt, she said it was important that I remember and now in the shower, she said that she was giving me a little help, but when she touched me all I felt was pain."

"Remember what?" Sam's eyes came to mine again and I shrugged. "Well there has to be something buried deep in your head that you need to know. Dean says you only remember April, but that there was something that happened in June. Ali maybe you need to know what happened then. Is there anything that you can tell me about it?"

"According to them, I had a psychotic break in June and ended up in the hospital going on about the fact that I was in somewhere Virginia fighting a hybrid."

"A hybrid what?" Sam smiled, but it wasn't a mocking one just a small grin.

"A angel/demon/human hybrid!" I growled annoyed and placed my hand on his, squeezing his fingers just a little as they rested on my breast. Sam looked at this gesture, his eyes wide as he realized where his hand had been resting and I watched the red color rise up in his cheeks. "Sam, something happened that week, something that I know now has to be true. I can't be just pulling these memories out of nowhere and she wants me to remember, but to what end?"

"To the end where we get the answers to the questions we asking ourselves." Sam replied, but I watched his eyes fill with confusion as they moved from my own down to the skin that was exposed from the blanket. "What the hell?"

"What?" I snapped and watched as he moved a little closer and he slipped his hand from mine so that he could run it along my skin.

It was extremely sensitive and just his light touch alone was sending goose bumps along my flesh and heat to my stomach. I stifled a moan, but even the smallest bit of noise seem to catch his attention, especially being that close and I watched him shift uncomfortably. His fingers continued to move along my shoulders, down my collarbone and along the skin in between. I wanted to beg him to stop, because all he was doing was making the need worse and I knew that nothing was going to happen between us.

"Ali they're gone," he said softly and I looked at him and confusion. "All the cuts are gone!"

That was when the door opened and Dean walked in just in time to see Sam leaning over me touching bare skin as I lay beneath a blanket.

The two of us looked at him as he smiled and put the grocery bag on the table.

"So, what's… ah going on here?" he said with a grin as he crossed his arms, looking between the two of us. Sam sighed and backed away, taking the warmth of his touch from me as the two of us glanced at each other and then back at the older brother in the room.

Okay, so explaining to Dean exactly what he walked in on was not the best thing in the world to deal with, especially right after a traumatic experience with a freakin monster that you really had no clue as to what the hell it was. But, it went over easy enough. I mean, not without a few giggles here and there and soon the three of us were back to exactly the way we were before, doing absolutely nothing about absolutely nothing.

Sam finally decided that he was going to listen to me about a couple things, mostly about the succubus that I had been dreaming about, but one little line he came out with, made me think back to the dream and for just a second I was dreading what came next.

So, he didn't tell me that I was wrong, but he didn't exactly tell me that I was right either. What I got from him was his usual response to anything that you happen to say to him. Him looking at you cross-eyed and funny, as if you had no clue as to what the hell you were doing and he was the computer geek that knew it all. He found out shortly though, that he wasn't the only computer geek in the room.

After listening to everything that I told him about the succubus, the dream and the articles that I had looked up, he tapped his fingers on the table and shook his head and I swore for at least a second that the words _we need to get you out of those clothes_ were about to leave his mouth, but Dean had been on his toes and had actually asked Sam about the sawmills in any bars in the vicinity.

"So this is what I got," Sam stated as he grabbed the computer from me and turned it so that he could look at the laptop screen. He pulled up a file of the things that he had been investigating and when he was ready, he turned it so the three of us could actually look. Dean stood behind me his arm around my neck as he placed his chin on my head and the three of us stared at the screen. Loaded on there was a Google map of bars in the area and in the middle was a small place called Marlowe's. "Alright, this is the closest place we got and according to the different articles, the addresses of the victims and any recent demonic activity in the area which, by the way, there isn't any, Marlowe's is where we come up with so I think we should stake that out tonight. That is if her succubus theory is correct."

"Okay, well here's my view on the plan. This isn't going to work if the two of you are going to be sitting there looking for it. There's gotta be something else going on. I mean, they targeted these people for a specific reason. So, either you two gotta fight, or Sam and I've got to fight, or Dean and I have got to fight, but either way it's the sexual tension that grabs it."

"Yeah liked there isn't enough sexual tension in this room to power a whole town," Dean cracked as he moved away, but not before kissing me on the head and I rolled my eyes. I happened to glance at Sam, who I caught looking at me before his eyes flickered away and he looked down.

"I have to go to the store!" I stated quickly and stood up, grabbing my sneakers off the floor as I moved to the bed to lace them.

"What?" Dean snapped and turned from the fridge.

"Ah, no!" Sam replied with the same protectiveness I had always heard in his voice. I looked between the two of them and smiled.

"Okay," I laughed, "I'm pretty sure that you both are smart enough to know _sexual tension_ isn't really caused by jeans and an old t-shirt. So, I need some new clothes, hence, I need to go to the store, so, i'll be back."

I snatched the keys from the bed and stood to walk past Sam, but he caught my arm gently and licked his lips as I looked down at him.

With a little smile, he said those dreaded words to me. "You can't!"

"To hell I can!" I growled and shook my head. "Let me go or come with, there is no in between."

"Why don't you just let us know what you need." Dean spoke up and I shook my head.

"I'm not a kid and I won't be treated like one. So, in or out, pick one, because I'm sorry," I snatched my arm from Sam and slipped my wallet in my backpocket. "I don't negotiate with Winchesters!"

As Sam's chest rose in defeat and Dean stood with a newly open beer in hand I watched the two of them use that non-verbal communication before both looked at me and gave me a little shake of their heads. Raising an eyebrow, I gave a little grin and booked it out the door to the GTO.

Oh this was going to be a fun night.


	81. DH Remembrance - 15

**Chapter 15**

Sammy and the Succubus

I could see them from where I was on the dance floor, swaying my hips to the music, letting it fill me with nothing but the beat for the first time in a very long time, and I felt alive, I mean, really like it was just me and the music, until _he_ turned around.

Dean was already facing me, his eyes hadn't moved from my location since the moment I sauntered over and started shaking my ass, and that was three songs ago, but Sam had kept himself occupied by scoping out the bar, looking for the right kind of person that he knew was in here somewhere, the right kind of monster. That was until he looked my way.

 _You Can Leave Your Hat On_ by Joe Cocker was playing, it wasn't much of a start, kind of jazzy, not very fast pace but words just went right along with the way I was feeling and I knew somewhere in here, in this crowded, dark and almost sex filled room was the thing we were searching for. Talking about removing clothes, yeah that was kind of what I pictured right then, Sam completely naked except maybe some stupid cowboy hat! Damn, was that ever sexy, but the way he was looking at me now was hot.

Dean had just a little bit of a grin on his face, as he put his elbows back on the bar, beer between his fingers and his eyes darted from me to Sam and back before he took a swig of it, still grinning like the little devil he was. Sam though… Sam was standing there with wide eyes, lips parted and I watched as he followed my movements.

Yeah, sexually charged wasn't even the words that began to cover how I was feeling and it certainly wasn't about to touch the vibe that was coming off from the man at the bar. I watched his lips close, his jaw clench and he quickly turned away. His hands went to the counter, I watched his fingers curl up as he tried to control something just under the surface. Dean tilted his head back, mouthed something like "you okay" to him but smirked at the answer as his eyes came back to rest on me.

Damn, if this wasn't mission accomplished because if Sam was feeling in anyway turned on, that monster should be just about ready to strike. Let me tell you what had Sam all up in arms. I had never worn anything like I had on at the moment, thigh-high boots with heels, a tight, black, leather skirt that came to about a half inch below my ass, leaving not too much left for the imagination, but I was pretty sure the strapless halter top, you know the one that came down just before my waist, exposing about two inches of skin between it and the skirt was what did it, because you could almost see every tattoo I had at that point.

Dean licked his lips, winked and scanned over the rest of the dance floor just long enough to see if he couldn't find the killer before his eyes were once again locked on mine. This was his protection, the "no way in hell am I letting you out of my sight" kind of way that he was watching over me and I was good with that, as long as he didn't stop me from doing what I needed to.

The song was just about done, and I needed a drink, preferably something strong and possibly whipped but as I moved up to the bar, Dean tapped Sam on the arm, catching the younger Winchester's attention, which got me a sideways look as I approached and I moved up to stand between Dean's open legs, reaching over the top of his right shoulder with my right arm as I lay my hand down on Sam's back, feeling his muscles tighten under my touch.

Yeah, I was playing up the slut side of this deal, but hell, with these two on my arm, I had every right to play. Dean's left hand came down and he curled his fingers around my hips as I leaned over his leg, grabbing the drink the girl behind the bar handed me and when I stood straight, I was able to stand eye to eye with him as he shook his head, my hand never leaving Sam, in fact I ventured to move it lower and let it curve over his ass before bringing it back up to tap against the gun that was tucked into his jeans.

"You having fun out there?" Dean grinned as he looked over the crowd, taking those green eyes from mine and I shrugged, leaned in close to his ear as the music started up again.

"You can't attract a succubus by being a barfly, Dean," I teased and stepped around his legs, closer to Sam and he switched hands, moving his beer to the one that was on my waist and replacing it on the opposite side, still creating that air of desire, when in fact, it was just him being him. He remembered the touch, the need for contact, and this was him being protective. I scooted between them, almost sitting on that leg I had been leaning over, and he was very much okay with it. I rubbed against Sam's arm, letting him feel the bare skin of my stomach as I reached over and stole some of the peanuts in front of him, listening to him take a deep breath in. "Relax, Sam, it's almost over. You can feel it in the air."

I watched him look up at the televisions over the bar and bite down on the tightness of his own lips before he let out a breath, trying so very hard not to even look at me. He parted his lips, probably the sexiest thing I had seen all night and let out the breath very slow before his eyes moved down to mine. His fingers stretched out, as if they had been cramped up for too long and I placed my drink down just at the edge of them. His gaze quickly flickered to my hand, took in the way that I moved it to let the small pads of my fingers trace down over his.

"Ali," he whispered, and there was a warning there, deep in his voice, that I was pushing the envelope. He didn't trust me, didn't remember me but he knew there was some sort of attraction there. I wasn't going to push it with him. I wanted to make him remember on his own, but dammit, it was hard not to touch him at least a little bit. I wanted his kiss so badly but that was still a long ways off. Those hard blue-green eyes locked on mine, and I gave him a little bit of a grin. "Don't."

"You used to be so much more fun," I teased, letting my body rest against Dean as the older brother's arm slipped further around me and he really did pull me onto his thigh.

Sam turned his body, leaning his left side against the bar as he reached out and moved my hair from my face, more for dramatic effect before he leaned down close, almost resting his forehead on Dean's shoulder to get his lips as close to my ear as he could.

"I don't think you could handle my idea of fun," he said softly but Dean heard it, and the man who held me gasped, trying not to choke on his beer, but I reached up, placed my hand on Sam's neck and pressed against his face with my cheek, feeling the stubble of a couple days without shaving. It was harsh and itchy and very much what I wanted before I breathed out a sigh against him.

"I don't know, Sammy," I whispered as the music started once again, "I think riding you sounds like something I would love to do."

And with that I left them both there in shock as I made my way out to the dance floor again, glancing back at them from over my shoulder. Dean's brows were raised and the "hell yes" smirk on my face told me everything I needed to know about his thought process but it was Sam's furrowed brow, the one that told me I had struck a chord, that I had gotten under that hard-ass exterior and was locked in tight that had me grinning.

I didn't even catch the name of the song that was playing, didn't care because I was feeling it. It was sexy, something you could sway to and I closed my eyes, knowing that the boys at the bar had my back and for that moment, I breathed the music.

Thoughts of sex and violence filled my vision, every act out there known to man flowed through my mind and I was doing it on purpose. I knew the succubus could feel the energy, smell the pheromones, it was the reason I had been so touchy with the boys. They fueled it and allowed my mind to go to a place that I would never take my reality to, thoughts of what the demon had told me months ago, me and Dean and Sam all curled up and entangled in each other.

That was when I felt the hands on my waist, the ones that traveled down to cup my hips and I let my body lean back against the solid one behind me. I could smell him, and he didn't even have to say a word.

He was woods and wind, as if his clothes were dried outside on a hot summer day. He was the fresh air around a river, the light scent of some gentle cologne and I could smell the tinge of his aftershave, for the small parts that he had done that morning, just under his chin and neck. This was all Sam and he was intoxicating.

His head came down, his lips lowered to my ear as I felt him breath against me, hot against my shoulder and I could feel the hard edge of him pressing into my back. I let myself enjoy the feel of him so close, but I hadn't intended on let the little moan escape my lips, in fact it wasn't until his fingers clenched against my skirt that I had even realized I had done it, and images of him hiking it up right then and there cascaded over me.

 _Later_ , I told myself, _this was so happening later!_

He growled at me, literally growled in my ear as I pushed back against him again, this time with the sway of the music and one hand released my hip, came across my stomach, and I felt him hold me there, letting the feel of me create the heat and friction through the jeans he wore.

"You gotta stop," he whispered, full of lust and need and, oh my, God _I_ needed to stop. He _needed_ to let me go!

"Sam," I moaned softly putting my head back against him and suddenly his lips were against my neck, down near the slope of it, and I gasped at the feeling of it, which made him move faster than I had ever seen. Suddenly, he was gone, not near me, not over at the bar and Dean was staring at me confused. I stopped moving on the floor, just stood there and looked at Dean as I caught my breath and that was when a movement caught me out of the corner of my eye.

I moved off the floor, Dean right behind me in the wave of people and suddenly the two of us were standing outside in the darkness.

"Which way did he go?" Dean snapped and I looked up at him.

"I'm sorry but how the hell do you lose a six-foot plus man, Dean? I could barely see over the people!" I growled back but that was when I felt it, the pull on my emotions, like the anger that I suddenly felt towards Dean was sexually driven.

God, I hated succubi!

I turned towards my right, following the feeling around the building, and watched as Sam had some girl pressed up against the building. He wasn't strangling her, he was kissing her, and I mean tongue and all. Her legs were up around his hips as he held her against the building and that was when I noticed something completely odd and damn near traumatic.

"It can shift!" I whispered and looked up to Dean, who was staring over at the couple in shock. "Dean! It looks just like me!"

Okay, now there was something wrong with seeing Sam kissing another girl, and I could write it off that he _didn't_ remember me, so there was that, but then again I was almost more pissed off that the person he was kissing looked like me. I pulled the spectrum from the sheath that was tucked inside my boot and started at them but Dean, grabbed my arm and pulled me back around the side of the building.

"What the hell, Dean?" I raged and felt his hands on my shoulders as he held me trapped against the wall.

"It's not going to do anything," he whispered, pressing in closer as he peeked around the corner, and I heard a girl moan, which got me to roll my eyes and I slapped him. "Ow!" He growled as he looked back at me. "The lore says an obsidian blade, Ali, not a spectrum, no matter what kind of juice Jones put in it."

"Tell me he's not screwing her against the wall!" I snarled and watched the smile that crossed his face.

"Jealous much?" He joked but he knew what I meant and he shook his head. "No, still clothed. Sammy isn't that kind of guy, not a back-alley kind of lay."

"You know what, screw it, I just wanna gouge her eyes out, I'm sure the spectrum will work perfectly for that!" I went to move away from the wall, and was roughly pushed back by his hands, as the breath rushed from my lungs just a little. "Are you done? Cause, I'm kind of over being manhandled!"

"Do you ever shut up?" He snapped and licked his lips, looking down at me. He wasn't angry, wasn't lustful but something in those eyes was telling me that I needed to stop pushing this issue.

"Stop being a freaking peeping Tom and stop your brother before he does something stupid, like get himself killed!" I answered and felt his hands move down to take my wrists, the look in his eyes was pleading and I shook my head. "Yeah, I'll freaking stay here, just do something!"

He kissed me quick on the forehead and released me before he went around the corner.

"Sammy!" He yelled, as if he didn't see him and finally I heard his boots stop. "Dude, what the hell, why did you rush out."

"Not a good time, Dean." Sam's voice was deep and I could almost hear the sex dripping from it but that growl under it also told me something else, he was angry.

"Okay, so I get that, but that's not Ali," Dean stated completely serious and I listened… listened to the silence as the moments wore on before I heard the scuffle of boots and heels and then there was the sound of breath leaving lungs, the noise of a body hitting the wall and suddenly a blur of black flew past.

Son of a bitch! It was not getting away!

I ran after the little skank, followed her through the parking lot, nearly tripping over my own shoes but before she hit the woods, I sent the spectrum flying. It caught the monster across the back, lodging in the upper shoulder, just above the blade, and she turned her sights on me quickly as she whipped around.

Red, glowing, beady eyes stared at me as she hissed and grabbed the knife with her bare hands, clenching whatever part she could wrap them around and suddenly she yanked it from her back. Her teeth were full of razor-sharp fangs and her fingers turned into claw, at least that's what it looked like before she flung the spectrum back at me.

I ducked just before it hit home, missing my shoulder by just enough to keep me alive but I felt the blade rip through my skin. The breath I let out was filled with pain, but I watched with curiosity as the succubus changed, and suddenly there was a tall blonde man wearing the same outfit I was. What was more disturbing was that I think I knew him from somewhere. Dean got one shot off, firing as close to me as he could before he came to a complete stop at my side, but the man in woman's clothing had disappeared into the forest. Sam stepped up beside me just a few seconds behind Dean and I glanced between the two of them.

Angry as hell for losing the monster, angrier more for stumbling on Sam kissing it, I turned, grabbed the blade from the ground and pressed my hand against my arm. After stowing the spectrum in its safe little hiding spot, I made my way slowly back towards the Impala where I leaned on the trunk, and waited, pressure still on the bleeding wound and I rubbed my brow with my lower arm, flexing the cut, which was probably a bad idea.

Sam stopped and looked me over as Dean pulled the bandana from his back pocket and handed it to his brother. Sam moved my hand away, rather roughly and wrapped the cloth around the wound.

"We're going to need to stitch it," Sam grumbled and I glanced at Dean, who kind of just put his hands up and walked away, before I turned my attention up to the man beside me, the one with the unruly hair and ruffled shirt, the one who looked almost sexed up and I shook my head. "It was stupid to go after it, Ali."

"Oh, yeah, and it was an even more brilliant idea to make out with it, Sam!" I snapped and watched as he shook his head a little.

"I knew it wasn't you," he said softly.

"Yeah, what gave it away? When you had your hand up its skirt?" I went to move past him but he put his hand up in front of me, bracing himself against the car, which pretty much stopped my chances of getting into the backseat, since he was locking it shut with his weight. "Move!"

"No," he spoke softly but I didn't look at him, just stared ahead as he leaned in closer. "I knew it wasn't you, Ali, whether you believe it or not but I had to do something."

"Oh, yeah because sticking your tongue down its throat is really the best way to gank a monster!" as much as it sounded like I was snapping at him, I kept my tone as even as possible, crossed my arm over my chest and kept my eyes straight ahead, because looking at him right now would get him one of two things, either slapped or kissed and I didn't want to do either.

"You don't get it," his breath was against my ear, his lips just a kiss away and I licked my lips, trying to stay calm. "You don't know what you do to me, and I don't want to hurt you, Ali, so yeah, I knew it wasn't you, but I knew it could take whatever I dished out."

"You think you're going to hurt me?" I smiled and shook my head. Repeat! I swear we were on a freaking repeat cycle of my life… again, and this time I did look at him. "You know what, that's fine, you keep right on thinking that, because I'm done telling you that you're not, nor have you ever, but both you two, both you Winchesters have the same issue. It's find out for yourself and screw everyone else, so you go right ahead, Sammy, and you believe that you _might_ hurt me." I grabbed his wrist and yanked his hand from the door, shouldering him away from me as I stared at him. "Just wait until you find out that in the end, it was me who hurt you!"

I slipped into the car, focused on the back of the seat in front of me and slammed the door shut. Sam stood outside for a moment more as Dean glanced back, trying to catch my attention, but I just kept staring, until the younger Winchester slid into the seat and closed the door. Dean revved the engine and took off towards the motel.

He needed to patch me up or at least that was what Dean was mumbling and though my eyes were set on the way the streetlights passed by, I could see the way he continued to glance back every so often. I even caught Sam's eyes trying to lock on mine in the sideview mirror. It was going to be a long night.

There was one good thing about a halter top, no sleeves, which meant no need to strip down to take it off so Sam could work his magic with the needle, but that had to wait until I was out of the boots and skirt and into some sweats. Dean, still worried that maybe having the blade lodged in the blood of the succubus before it scratched me would have some after effects, was standing outside the bathroom door, which I kept cracked just to keep the older one sane.

I pulled open the door, looked at him as he leaned on the sink, his head down and his arms crossed as he lounged and for a second I just stared at him before he glanced up at the empty room. Letting out a breath, I went to walk by him but Dean took my hand and turned me. I gave into the tug that he used to pull me back towards him and just let him wrap his arms around me.

Placing both hands on his chest, I pressed my cheek against him, listening to the sound of his heart as he rested his chin on my forehead.

"You realize he doesn't remember," he whispered, as if the fact that we were the only two there had slipped his mind, like someone else was going to hear.

"I know," I mumbled.

"Then really, Ali, how pissed can you be if he's kissing anyone?" And he was right, even though I wanted to kick him for it. "Listen, I know Sam, like the back of my hand. He wasn't lying when he said he knew it wasn't you, but I… I've never seen anyone affect him the way you do, and for him, that has got to be hard. He doesn't want you to get hurt."

"And, here we go!" I pushed at him enough that he finally gave in and released me, but I only put an arm's length between us. "I don't want to hear about how he doesn't want to hurt me, that he thinks he might, because I get it, I get that's how he feels but if you remember anything about the two of us, you know it never came to that."

"And that was before," he added, I nodded, rubbing my cheek. He was right, that was before all of _this,_ all of the time they thought they spent hunting, forgetting all that we had been through. "Listen, I know you think that giving us back our memories of you is just going to fix everything, but it isn't, there's no way to fix the last few months, and after Dad," he paused as he stared at me. Yeah, he knew that something was up with, and I knew he was confused about it but he wouldn't open up and tell me how pissed he was yet because that was just Dean's way. He licked his lips and took a mental step back, "after Dad died, Sam wasn't the same, not the way you remember him.

"Dad's death was brutal, and it was ugly and it scarred Sam worse than anyone else we have ever lost. I know… I know you wouldn't expect it to, because you know the past between them , but Ali, pissed off or not at him, how do you think he took it? We were there, we watched the whole thing go down, and that changes people." I backed away as he pushed off from the counter, trying to close the space between us, but I wouldn't let him. I didn't want his touch, I didn't deserve it, and I saw his hands clench into fists. "That kind of thing, what it did to Sam, maybe that is why he doesn't want to chance it with you, because he really could hurt you."

"You know what," I sighed and gave him a little grin, one that told him that I was done. "I'm, ah, I'm just gonna go out for a little bit. The bleeding stopped for the most part." I turned away from him, slipped on my sneakers and grabbed the keys to the GTO, before I glanced back at him. "I'm sorry for what I did, I've been sorry since the moment I remembered it, and I'm sorry for dragging the two of you back into this life… my life. Maybe it would be better if Sam didn't remember me, I mean any of me."

"That's not true and you know it!" Dean stated through clenched teeth as I put my hand on the door, but I stayed silent for a moment before I blinked back the tears.

"Actually," I smirked, just a stupid, reaction smirk as if I was throwing everything out the window, "it is."

And with that, I was out the door.

I sat on the hood of the GTO, parked in an empty lot by a local playground, sipping from the small bottle of vodka that I had managed to save from somewhere, or maybe it was just something that Jones had stashed in the trunk. I wasn't really sure. The only thing I really knew was that I had screwed up and there was going to be hell to pay for it.

Cas was right, I should have just left them well enough alone, I should have never come back to them. Sam was screwed up, Dean was… I don't even know what Dean was because beside womanizing and boozing, the boy seemed to be doing alright, but I was terrified to see what had happened to Danni.

I let my head fall back, stared up at the stars that managed to poke through the black blanket of sky and sighed.

"You were right, Cas," I whispered out loud, and took another sip, "you were right."

"Now what is a beautiful thing like you doing out here all alone?" A gentle male voice interrupted my pity party and I sat up straight to see a young man walking out of the darkness. He was handsome, soft brown hair, bright hazel eyes, and a smile that would light up your world if you wanted it to. He was tall, broad shouldered and the way his button-down shirt fit, he looked pretty muscular, even the way his jeans fit was perfect. "You know it's dangerous out here at night... freaks and all."

"Mister, I am the freak." I replied and shook my head, but he stopped a few feet away from me and sized me up.

"You're bleeding," he gestured to my arm.

"Yeah," I laughed, feeling the booze haze kicking in, "how about that. It's just a scratch, it will stop."

"Here," he offered, stepping up to the car, "let me take a look at it."

His hands as they touched me were soft and the tingle they sent up my arm as something I should have questioned, but didn't as he untied the bandana. He kept his eyes locked on mine as he pulled a clean one out of his back pocket and used Deans to wipe off the blood so that he could get a better look, but as his thumb caressed, I could feel the heat growing between my legs.

"What the hell are you doing to me?" I growled, wanting to snatch my arm away but I couldn't pull from his grip, couldn't make him stop as he leaned down, laying a gentle kiss on my arm. Shit, I needed to move, but I was literally stuck to my car.

"Don't worry, sweetness, I won't do anything you don't want me to," he whispered and he shifted his body so that he stood between my knees, his lips trailing up my shoulder to my neck and I couldn't help but close my eyes. "I watched you on the dance floor tonight," his voice was low and seductive as my hands came up to grasp his hair, and his mouth lay a trail of fire across my cheek. "You don't know how bad I wanted you, even sent my girl in to get you away from your men, two at once. My, I am impressed."

"Stop," I whispered, but as his lips caressed, I realized that I didn't really mean it, or I thought I didn't mean it. Crap, what was he doing to me. One of his hands came down and slipped around to the small of my back, pulling me closer to the way his hips leaned into me, while the other tangled in my hair. I closed my eyes, wanting to fight but finding it hard, so I concentrated on one little word, one face in the darkness. "Sam."

"Would it be easier if I looked like him?" The voice by my ear changed as I heard the sound of the man I was still deeply in love with, and suddenly his locks of hair were falling against me, the curve of his hips were familiar and my legs moved to accommodate him. "You're so very wild, and strong. The power in you is intoxicating, and if I have to be him for the rest of my life to have you, I will."

I felt his lips on mine, the soft caress of them brushing across my mouth and suddenly the spell was broken. This was not Sam's kiss, not his claiming, possessive, bruising way of taking me and my body knew it. I pushed at him, pulled my head back but his hand kept me trapped there as his body pinned me to the car.

I cried out against him, my fists coming down on his shoulders as I punched with everything that I had in me, making the wound on my arm that much worse as I felt the pain of it tearing more. That was how it tracked me here, my blood, my scent was in the air at the bar, and now, here I was stupid enough to drive off alone, stupid enough to think that I could do this alone.

The mocking laugh that came from the monster's throat wasn't Sam's, in fact that body that was holding me wasn't his any longer either and I knew I had to move. Turning my head away from him, I tried to scream out, but a hand came up and clamped down over my mouth. I struggled to breathe as the darkness crept up, because he was now cutting off the airway through my nose.

I blinked trying to focus, but I was losing that too as my muscles began to fail due to the lack of oxygen. My hands came to rest on his shoulders, just as his lips descended on my neck and I almost felt the prick of the teeth hidden behind the perfect set he had smiled at me with. That was just before the weight was stripped away, before the air rushed back into my lungs and I found myself lying on the hood of the car, staring at the monster's shocked face.

Sam stood behind him, anger racing through his eyes as he held the creature tightly on one shoulder, his knuckles almost white with the grip he held, but it was the sneer on Sam's lips that got me. I knew why the monster was surprised, as its eyes began to glow a bright red, just before it started to fade. Sam pressed closer behind, his arm digging in deeper and he put his lips close to the monster's ear.

"That's for touching _my_ girl!" His voice was terrifying, full of anger, possession and hate, but all I could do was catch his darkened eyes before he ripped the obsidian blade back and the creature crumble to the ground, a lifeless corpse.

Sam stood there, breathing deeply, his chest heaving, but they were even, unwavering which spoke out that this was just another day at the beach for him, and that wild hair fell into his eyes as he locked me down in a stare that told me everything.

At some point, Sam had remembered.


	82. DH Remembrance - 16

**Chapter 16**

Sammy and the Memories

I sat on the bed in the motel, staring into nothingness, trying not to think back on the events that had just unfolded. Dean was standing outside the door to the room, I could smell the light burn of his American Spirits and knew just what he was doing, giving Sam and I time.

The younger Winchester had moved me from the car to the room by the elbow, as if I were about five years old and needed to be scolded but it was when he gave me a not so gentle nudge onto the bed and took off to the bathroom, that Dean had come over, kissed me on the forehead, (his way of telling me he would be right outside, just yell) and left.

I could see Sam step out of the bathroom through my peripheral, but I didn't move my head, and I only blinked when he crouched down in front of me. With a sigh, a straight face and some heavy uncertainty in his darkened eyes, he reached up, hesitated, and then pushed my hair back from my neck. His lips did this, part-sigh-tighten thing and suddenly he was frowning.

I kept my eyes locked on his face, onto those blue-green orbs, and shivered as he licked his lip, brought the towel up and wiped along the row of what looked like little pinpricks, which were actually the teeth marks of the succubus.

That cloth came across them twice before they started to feel irritated and I swiped at his hand, literally slapping it away. Sam's gave his head a little tilt as if to ask if I was really going to be that defiant, so he reached out with the cloth again. This time, I wasn't so gentle, but when I swung towards him, his free hand grabbed my wrist.

"Stop," he said softly, but with warning and I clenched my teeth.

"Don't do that again," I snapped and felt his fingers slowly relax on my arm, "it stings."

"It's just water, Ali," he whispered, softening his voice, but either the pain or the anger in my eyes had him lower the cloth, and give me just that look. I narrowed my eyes at him and he let me go. "I need to know how deep he got you."

"Deep enough, Sam," I growled and leaned away from him, "what the hell were you doing out there anyway?"

"Following you," he admitted openly.

I snickered, the smile crossing my lips, before I took a deep breath. "You were following me? Right!"

"Why did you walk out on Dean?" He questioned, his tone, demanding.

"What do you care, Sam? You don't remember me, and yeah I "do" stuff to you, but that doesn't mean you have the right to follow me!" I inched closer to him, minimizing the space between us as he clenched the comforter by my thighs. "And, for the love God, don't even think of using that as an excuse to wipe away sucking face with a succubus!"

"Why does that bother you so much?" He snarked and I watched the devilish grin cross his lips. "You have been on that since the jump, and since you're asking the question, I'll ask it back, why do you care?"

"You don't get it, Sam," I snapped and stared into his eyes as I felt the fire grow inside me. I wanted to look away, wanted to be any place but right there, but I couldn't pull away from him, I wanted those hands to not be at my thighs, I wanted them to be on them, spreading them, touching that heat. I wanted him against me and I wanted his kiss.

As if he were reading my mind, suddenly his hand was on my cheek, his lips were pressed harshly against mine, like he had meant to do it to shut me up but now… now it was too much.

I brought my hands up to the back of his neck as his lips softened, and his kiss became more of a test, closing lightly on mine, capturing my lips between his as I pulled him closer. Yes, this was what I wanted, to feel him, and suddenly those little closed-lipped kisses because full-blown and possessive as his tongue invaded, and I couldn't help but moan into it.

As much as I pushed at him to deepen the kiss, he was pushing back, and his arm circled my waist moving me further up the bed as his lips bruised on mine. This is what I waited for, this was the kiss I had been searching for, the total loss of control was given to the man who held me and I would ever only give up to him, and as his body pressed down against mine, he broke free to catch his breath, but only his lips left mine as I held my eyes closed and felt his skin against me.

"Why did you come?" I needed to know, even as he dragged his lips across again, drawing out a breath.

"I remembered you," he said softly. "I remembered your touch, the way you smell, the feel of your skin, your body," he whispered, his voice deep, seductive and my feet slid between his legs, wanting to lock him against me. "It had you against the car, and it was touching you," the low growl with those words sent shivers down my spine, enough to make me arch my back towards his warmth. "I knew then, I knew without a doubt that what I had been seeing all night was true, you belonged to me, and he was touching you!"

Those last words were dangerous, full of possession and need and I was the one that initiated the kiss this time, trying to bring that monster down. His arms slipped behind my shoulders, blocking me from moving, but there was no threat of violence, no need to be afraid as I heard his nails against the material.

He groaned into me, his hips pressing against the heat and his lips parted once again to deepen the kiss, but the bang of a fist against the wall had him pulling away just as quickly as he could, the gun aimed and ready at the smirking man who stood there with his arms crossed.

"As beautiful as this is, we gotta get going," Dean smirked and raised an eyebrow. Sam took in a deep breath, flipped the safety on the gun and let it out as he backed away, but Dean's eyes stayed locked on mine as he closed the door. "Body plus us in the same town, not a good thing, Ali." I sat up on the bed, moved my feet over the side and turned my head, watching Sam methodically pack away his stuff, as if what we were doing didn't happen. Dean sat across from me, moistened his lips and raised a brow. "We have to ditch the GTO."

"Do you like your balls where they are?" I replied, my return was quick and full of pent up energy, because yeah, the guy did just interrupt.

"Gonna threaten me with Jones again?" And he was serious, "we're stashing the Charger too, we can't have three of us running around in separate cars if we're going to finish your little mission."

"Exactly where are we stashing things?" This question made him grin, but he only stood up and moved to collect his own things. Glad that I hadn't unpacked and gotten settled, I sat back against the headboard, bought my knee up to my chest and watched Sam.

He remembered me, sure, but the look in his eyes told me that he didn't "feel" anything about those memories, not like Dean did. Don't get me wrong, those kisses were perfectly Sam, but there was something missing. I cleared my throat, got up and snatched my bag off the floor, the first-in bag, which was the only one in the room before I headed for the door.

Dean caught my wrist as I walked by and I stopped before I turned towards him, glancing at Sam, whose eyes automatically went to his brother's point of contact, but there was no jealousy there.

"You leaving?" he asked softly, and all I did was give him a little grin.

"You said we're stashing her, right? I got stuff in there that I need to put in Baby, just gonna go organize it." I replied and watched as he nodded, his eyes flickered to Sam and back to me.

"Stay close." He let me go, handed me the keys to the trunk and I nodded, before I headed out the door.

When I closed the trunk on the GTO, and stuffed a few of the bags into the back of the Impala, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the phone. Jones had texted, so had Christian. No update from either on Danni, and Jones wanted to know about his car. Must have low-jacked it because he had Alabama with a question mark in capital letters.

I texted back to him that we were stashing it, that he would be able to come and get it, or send a transport to pick her up, that I would give him the location as soon as I knew where it was and the only response was an "okay" before I stuffed it back in the bag.

I closed the lid of Baby gently, glanced at the boys inside the door and turned to lean on the trunk, and that was when I felt it, the odd tingle of being watched, and I turned my head to look down by the manager's office.

SHE was there, leaning back against the wall, her hands in the pockets of her leather pants, the ass-kicking boots with the three inch heels was a stark contrast to the shiny leather but she still wore that maroon shirt and the black coat. Her bright, blood red lips curled up in a smile as she crossed her ankles and just watched.

"Hey?" Dean's voice spoke up behind me and I jumped as I turned to look at him. "What you up to Kid?"

"Do you see her?" And I glanced over at the woman against the wall before turning back to him. He looked down at me, raise an eyebrow and slowly brought his eyes up just as his eyes to scan over the manager's office wall. Lowering those green orbs back to mine, he bit down on his lip and gave me a low response.

"Yep," And that was all he said but his hand came down to mine as I flipped the button on the Spectrum blade at my hip and I felt this fingers curl around my wrist. "Easy there, Kid." But my eyes narrowed at him and he gave me just a little grin before his other hand came up in his palm press against my cheek. He was distracting me or he was distracting her, I wasn't quite sure. "Just take it easy. Who is she?"

"That's her! That's the woman from the bathroom, the one from the Hag's house. Dean, she's following me around. How did she get to me if you can see her now?" And I felt my whole body shake as I whispered these questions. Dean shook his head but his thumb ran gently across my skin trying to keep me calm.

"Come on inside, let's go." he took my hand from the Spectrum handle, wrapped it in his fingers and pulled me inside the building, where he closed the door behind me. Sam sat up on the bed, having been leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Apparently the boys had been talking. But that confused and worried look on Sam's face let me know that he had caught just a little bit of his brother's body language and whatever it was that Dean was sending off worried Sam.

"What's going on?" Sam looked back and forth between us. Dean sighed as he sat me down in the chair rubbing both my shoulders with his hands, before he walked over to the other side of the table,grabbed his gun and click the slide back. "Dean?"

Dean glanced out the window, still seeing her standing by the doorway and turned to Sam. "Looks like our little girl wasn't imagining her after all."

"Wait? What?" Sam got up from the bed quickly and moved over towards the window. He looked down in the direction that Dean had pointed to and saw who I assumed was the woman in black, and he glanced down at me before backing away, grabbing his own gun from the back of his jeans , and made sure that it was completely loaded. He squatted down in front of me, reach the hand up and gently brushed my cheek. What is it with these guys and having to touch me? I was getting more and more irritated with every touch to my skin." It's okay Ali, stay right here and we'll take care of her."

Sam move towards the door and flung it open, but I watched as he stopped dead, spinning in my chair so I could see, and his gaze move to Dean. The older brother taking cues from Sam, moved towards the door, hiding the gun behind the sill, and looked over at the spot where the woman was, before both sets of Winchester eyes were back on mine.

"What?" I snapped and suddenly stood, shimming in between the two of them as they block the doorway.

"She's gone!" Sam whispered against my ear as I felt his arm in circle my waist and my body begin to shake.

"She was just there! What the hell Dean? She was just there!" I ranted and shook my head as I moved away from both of them, my hand automatically going to the handle of the spectrum. "Who is this bitch?"

"Ali, take it easy." Dean whisper and I watched him put the Colt down on the table. He reached out for me but I backed away trying to get my thoughts in order. "Alright what we need to do is move and move now!"

He was almost to me, I could almost feel him, and I put my hand up, closing my eyes. I thought that it would stop him from moving but instead, he put his hands on mine and pressed them against his own chest, before he let them go and moved to capture my waist.

"Look at me, Al," he said softly, demanding and I slowly opened my eyes to stare up at him. His lips parted and his tongue ran along them, I don't even think he knew he was doing it, but it gave me something to focus on. "We're leaving, okay, we're leaving and you just stay between me and Sammy, got it?"

"Stay between you and Sam," I answered as if I were just a parrot on repeat, but that made me look past him at the other man in the room. Suddenly, Danni's voice filled my thoughts, something she had said to Dean, something way out of context of the events that were going on at the moment, and I wondered why it chose now to come through.

" _What did she do after the vampire attacked, did she run? Did she scream and carry on like some pansy little girl?" I heard that deep throated growl from Dean that told me he was about to hit his end. "No, she stayed and made sure that your brother didn't die. She patched him up, she stayed with you, she was scared as hell but she didn't run, Dean!"_

"Ali?" Sam's voice whispered and I found myself staring up at him, Dean had stepped aside to accommodate his brother moving closer, and at some point, he made contact, bringing my gaze deep into his. "What?"

"Just a memory," I said softly and backed away from both of them. "Well," I looked between them, "are we going or what?"

Dean rolled his eyes as Sam smiled and the three of us walked out of the hotel. Sam made a quick check of the room that I had used briefly before he slipped into the Charger and we followed Dean out of the parking lot.

He never did say how far away the place was, but it seemed to take forever to get there and that was a good thing because there was something I had to do.

"Cas!" I sighed, rolling my eyes as I call outward to him, using my thoughts to try and contact him as well. "Castiel, I need you, do you mind getting your feathered ass…" and before I could finish, he was sitting in the seat beside me. I wasn't surprised, I had been expecting him, so keeping the car at a normal rate of speed and not driving it off the road was bonus points for me.

"You called?"

"Yeah," I felt like a fool talking to him at the moment because all my memories could see was him as Cas, my Casanova, and I sighed, trying to remember he was an _angel of the lord_ , which made me snicker. "There's something… someone following me."

"Yes, Sam is in the car behind you, do you need me to move him into this one?" Cas questioned and I rolled my eyes.

"No, Dork, I meant someone is following me as in haunting my ass!" I growled and watched as his brow furrowed. "Something, some woman, is messing with my head. She keeps telling me to remember and the last time she touched me, Cas, it nearly split my head in two."

"That's not physically poss…" one look and he shut right up. "May I look into your thoughts to see if I can get a better visual on who you're dealing with?"

"Yeah, go ahead, but keep me on the road," I agreed and felt the tips of Cas' fingers on the side of my head before the light tingle made me shiver and he backed away. The look on his face was not encouraging and I watched him look down at nothing, deep in thought. After a moment of silence, I raised a brow and glanced over at him, why did I know that this just wasn't good at all. "Cas? Anything?"

"No." He stated bluntly. "I'm sorry." And I reached up and rubbed my forehead as a slight headache begin to form above my left eye. Not enough coffee and not enough sleep. Cas reached over and press his fingers against my forehead once more. "At least let me help with this."

"Cas, what...?" But I felt the wave of heat we're his fingers touched and instantly my headache was gone. I glanced over at him and took his hand from my skin holding it in mine. "Thank you." He looked down as if sure as to what to say next, and I gave his fingers of squeeze. "Hey, I know it's a little odd right now but, Cas, you know I wouldn't give you up for anything right?"

"It seems that we're right back to the rules we had when this started but," Cas replied, "if you need me you know I'll be here."

"I'm not giving up on you," I smiled and watch as he took my hand and raised it to his lips. I felt his light kiss before he grinned behind my fingers. "Any word on Danni?"

"It's complicated but I'm pretty sure I have narrowed it down to the Northeast." Cas replied as he let my hand fall to the seat, still in his and look out the window.

"So, I'm going all the way from Ohio to Alabama and back to exactly where I started from?" I shook my head, "Could somebody have just told me she was there?"

"It's possible that you are exactly on the track that you're supposed to be." Cas replied as he looked over at me, his face void of emotion. "Maybe that's what this creature is, maybe it is here to show you just what you're supposed to do. Where are you headed to next?"

"Stowing the cars, after that I have no clue. I mean, I don't even think the boys know where we're going."

"I believe the possibility of her sending you in a new direction is greater than you think." Cas took a deep breath and turned in the seat towards me. "Has Sam remembered everything?"

"He remember something," I huffed, but look at him. "He said he remembers me, how I feel, smell... whatever but he doesn't feel any of the emotion behind it. I mean it took Dean a little while too but that's Dean."

"Speaking of Dean, what does he remember?"

"Dean says he remembers everything." I glanced over at him catching his eyes and I shook my head. "Cas, there are things that Dean feels that I didn't know was that deep. And I'm thoroughly freaking confused."

"You mean his love for you?" Okay, forget glancing, my head just whipped around in his direction. "You never realized it did you? You and he share a profound bond. More so than any of the rest of them, however it's not like the rest of them. It's not like Sam and your love for him. It's different."

"No shit, it's different! But if you realized this why didn't you say anything?"

"It's not my place to reveal things like this Ali," and I turned back to the road, "when things are as they should be, things between you and Dean will be as they should be. Just like you and Sam."

"Yeah well, right now as things should be, a little less complicated would be nice." I watched Dean put on blinker on to pull into a storage place and I looked over at Cas. "I'm going to guess this is probably where you should get off this crazy ride unless you want the brothers to know you're here."

"No, you're right, it would be best if they don't know yet." He raised my hand to his lips once more and kiss the gently. "But should you need me, Ali, I'm just a call away. You know that."

"Yes Cas, I know." And with that the angel was no longer sitting in my car.

Perfect timing, considering I was just pulling up behind the Impala in the very back spot of the gated storage company. I watched a man in overalls walk out of an old building set further back into the tree-lined outskirts of the property. Sam's Charger pulled up right beside me and I watched as he got out. With a deep breath I shut off the GTO, it slipped out from behind her wheel, joining the boys as a heavy-set man approached.

I'll spare you the details on this one. But I'll give you the gist of it.

That fat, chauvinistic, son of a bitch, named Brian, greeted us or at least greeted Dean, told us where he was stash in the Charger and the GTO and gave me a look over that nearly sent me flying off the handle and I wish I could have punched the the loser. Sensing my strong disagreement with his very presence, Sam took my hand and lead me back to collect my things from the car and helped me put them in the Impala.

Having text Jones the address and warning him that if I found a scratch on her, or even more so if he found a scratch on her, to shoot the man on sight. Jones's response was only to tell me that you can't shoot him in public. But I knew that meant that both the Charger and the GTO would be safe.

So now we're in this situation, Dean driving, Sammy in his usual passenger seat, and me stretched out in the back seat of the Impala. Yeah, there's nothing more intoxicating than the backseat of that car! The problem was is that we had no real direction, no case, know where to next, because the boys just wanted to drive.

I don't know how long it it actually been since the two of them were together, in the same car at the same time, but I watched the way they laughed, the way they joked around, and the only thing I wanted to do was sit there quietly and let it happen.

I tucked my bag behind my head, a soft one filled with only clothes, and took the blanket that Dean had folded back up and rested on the cooler, and tucked myself in while I close my eyes. Hiding in my own little world.

But as usual that didn't last.

Usually when I dream, I kind of see it like a movie, I'm watching me and whatever is going on around me. You know that whole detach soul thing again. But this time, I was looking at it through my own eyes, and wherever I was, was dark and it was dirty. I could feel my hands tied above my head and as I tried to force my head back, I realize that I was up against the pole and everything hurt.

I groaned against the ache of my shoulders having been tied same position for too long, I winced at the feeling of cuts along my abdomen as I shifted my weight to see around the room better. And I could feel the dried blood as my jeans moved from my thighs. What the hell had I gotten into?

But that's when I saw him, lying unconscious across the floor with no bonds and I waited, just waited to see the rise of his chest. I could have counted it in my head, the seconds that passed. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, and then finally he took a breath, a shallow, painful breath.

"Dean," I whispered and tried to clear my throat, "Dean?" But there was no response from the man across the room. I yanked on the ropes that held my in a shooting pain went down my arm. Nope I was getting out that way. "Sam?" I called out softly, as I tried to look around but there was no response. "Oh come on!"

How the hell was I going to get myself out of this one?

The scene switched out and suddenly I saw the Woman in Black standing above Sam, who is now laying on the floor where Dean had been. Her fingers arced like a claw as she pressed down right above his heart. And Sam screamed out in pain as a woman twisted her hand ever-so-slightly and looked at me.

"I told you to remember!" She stated yet again as Sam screamed.

"You son of a bitch! Take your hands off of him! I'm trying my best! I don't know what the hell you want me to remember but leave Sam alone!" But it was no use, she just kept twisting her hand and I watched his face grimace and pain as he tried to hold them the screen. "What do you want from me?!"

I could hear the panic in my own voice, and I knew I had to do something, but as I watched her, I felt the sharp pain at the back of my skull, like someone had taken the tip of a blade and started pushing it up through the soft muscle at the base. I heard myself scream this time as a multitude of different images flash through my memories.

The memories were specific to Sam, the different way he held me, some of the times that he smiled, but then there were others. Like when he stood inside a devil's trap, book in hand, ready to cast a ritual, I could hear the waiver in his voice, in the pain in mine as I begged him to go on or let me go, I couldn't tell. What had I done that Sam would have me there on my knees, trapped?

 _I shook at the feeling of his skin, his warm, inviting skin, against mine and a moan escaped my lips. Why was it that he could set me on fire with just a touch, but no matter how much I fought the feeling of evil, pushed it down to take in everything that Sam was giving me, I couldn't shake the dread that was creeping up._

" _You should run," I whispered as he used his thumbs to tilt my head up and my hands went right to his wrists, trying to get him to understand. "You should take your brother and go far, far away from me, Sam. I'll only bring out the darkness in you."_

" _I can't do that," he sighed, lowering his lips towards mine as he tipped just a bit, so that when we connected it would be like piecing a puzzle together. "I can't leave you again, do you understand that, not ever again. You could never bring out the darkness, you push it back, you keep it at bay."_

" _I'm so full of hate right now, evil… I just want to destroy everything." I felt the heat rise in my chest, but the devil's trap seemed to keep that part, that harmful thing that Zane was trying to do, down so that I stood a fighting chance. "Sam, you don't understand the damage I could do."_

" _You're talking to the one person who probably knows exactly what you're capable of," his breath rushed over my lips, warm against the wetness that lingered here and I ached for him to close the distance, to press against me. I needed it. "That's how I know you won't hurt me, you're part of me and I'm not letting go."_

I could feel the real sting in my eyes as I threatened him. What damage could I do? What had I done? Maybe this is why she wanted me to remember because somewhere in my past at least in the recent past I had done something so dark, so demonic, that I was trapped and the only way I saw out was for Sam to let me go.

The Woman in Black finally released Sam's chest and I watched him fall back to the floor motionless, but still breathing and I let out my own breath but that was when she came at me. And that hand push down around my heart.

The searing pain under her fingertips was almost too much, and I screamed out as she pressed harder. Her fingernails dug in and I could feel the blood drip down my chest. Add it to all the other injuries that I had apparently sustained from whatever fight had taken place beforehand, I knew I was going to need a new shirt.

She came closer, so close in fact that I could smell the perfume, flowery scent so strong that it made me want to gag but that was when I noticed her wrist. And as much as her nails were digging in and the fire was burning through me, I recognize the symbol that she had tattooed on the underside of it. I just had to hold on to that memory as I push myself out of this one.

"Get out of my head!" I snapped at her pushing my chest up to meet her fingers instead of pulling away and with a sudden blast of power I watched her fly across the room and the bonds that held my wrist snapped as I yanked at them.

Once free and positive at the woman who now lay buckled on the floor was out cold, I lean down beside Sam and put my hands on his face. I could feel him breathing under my arm and my finger search for a pulse. It was strong very very strong and that gave me hope. But as my hands cupped his cheeks I watch his eyes fly open, the usual blue-green color gone and replaced by a bright white light.

He sucked in a deep breath as if he couldn't hold anything else and he struggled against me. Struggled to find that rhythm and his eyes rolled back in his head.

"Sam!" I cried out trying to get his attention, but his body went rigid it underneath me and then started to seize. "Sam?! Sammy?!" I screamed and raise my head to look around. Where the hell had Dean gone? With one more deep breath I screamed. "HELP!"

I felt hands grasping my shirt and I open my eyes. Quickly my hands coming down to slap away the ones that held me and I looked up into Sam's awake and brilliant eyes, as he leaned over me in the back seat of the Impala. The door behind me was open, the door at my feet was also open but Sam was the only one who towered over me.

"Ali? Ali look at me!" Sam ordered and I tried my best to get myself under control, but with that control came the need and my hands were suddenly up in his hair. I needed to know that he was real, that he was breathing, and that I wasn't in the dream anymore. But my need to touch seem to be outweighed by his need, and his lips were suddenly crashing down upon mine. It was a frantic, chaotic kiss one that continued endlessly, and I wanted to fall into it but I needed to breathe. And as his lips, and only his lips backed away I held my eyes tightly closed. "What happened? You were screaming my name, what did you see?"

But it wasn't what I saw that caught my attention at that moment, at least it wasn't what I needed to show him and I pushed him away just a bit to pull down the neck of my shirt. They are branded into the skin where the five spots that the Woman in Black had pressed her nails into and Sam look down, the pads of his own fingers brushing against them, before he watched me reach up and grasp at his shirt. Tugging open the collar of his button down, I pulled away the fabric from over his heart, and drew in a deep breath. There on his skin were the same five light marks.

I felt my heart start to race, and my breathing pick up, has his own hand moved from my skin to his own. I thought for sure that he would freak out, that he would want an explanation, but I didn't have one and apparently I was wrong. He didn't want one. His lips came down upon mine again, this time soft and caressing as I felt the heat rise between us.

I had forgotten the way that his kiss felt, the way he could take it from one extreme to the next and still make it electric but this time, right at this moment, he was doing nothing but feeling. Something he hadn't done in the room, he hadn't had any emotion behind the desperate need. And need and feeling are two different things. The need before was to know that the memories he had were real, the feelings in this kiss now were to know that his heart was being true. I felt the weight of his body as he moved to settle between my knees and his arms came under my shoulders drawing me closer, folding me into him a place that I desperately wanted to be.

And just like before, Dean had other plans!

The bang on the roof of the car would have set the older Winchester off on a tangent about _how someone shouldn't touch my car, don't touch my baby_ , but when he did it it was for all laughs.

Sam jumped, breaking the kiss as he rolled his eyes and raised his head to look at his brother who was leaning down with a grin on his face. I tilted my head back and those green eyes met mine, but the smile that he wore for his brother's sake didn't reach the bright knowing glare that he was giving me.

"You want to not do that in my car? I don't want to have to clean drool off the upholstery." Dean scowled and backed away without really going too far.

Sam entangled himself from me and backed out the passenger side rear door leaving me to straighten myself before I sat up and kicked my foot towards the older Winchester's leg. Sam came around to lean against the driver side door, using my door as a barrier between them.

"So, where are we now?" I whispered, and Dean looked down at me.

"Powdersville, South Carolina." He stated as if that should mean something. But then again this was Dean Winchester, everything meant something.


	83. DH Remembrance - 17

**Chapter 17**

Headspace, nutcase!

"Powdersville where?" I asked and raised an eyebrow at him.

Dean crossed his arm, and rolled his eyes, his usually annoyed gesture, but he brought them back to me and gave me a smirk. "South Carolina."

"What are we doing in the gunpowder capital of the world?" I snarked and listen to Sam give a small laugh.

"Actually, they didn't make it here, they stored it here," Dean replied sarcastically and narrowed his eyes at me.

"Gunpowder, bullets, salt and shells, what the hell are we doing here, Winchester?" I questioned sarcastically, standing from inside the Impala. I leaned against the car as Dean turned, his left hand staying on baby's door. "I have things to do people to find exactly why are we in this Podunk town?"

"See unfortunately, this ain't all about you, not all of it." Dean stated and I watch Sam role as eyes. Apparently remembering our arguments was one of the things that came back first, and I watched him switch legs uneasily. "I got a call from a hunter, said they got something going on about 15 minutes from here. Sounds like a demon dog."

"Hellhound?" I asked as both looked at me oddly. "If there's a hellhound about then couldn't someone's contract be up?"

"Apparently, this one has been around since 1850, if not longer." I looked at Dean and scratch my forehead.

"Okay so spirit animal, what's that got to do with us?" Dean looked at me annoyed, I mean just as annoyed as he was, but more angry before he turned his sights on Sam.

"A little help here?" Dean requested and I turned my gaze to the younger Winchester. Sam stepped forward took a deep breath and leaned on the door as Dean moved his hand to stuff both of them in his pockets.

It looked as if Sam really was going to take over, I cross my arms and looked up at the tall man, waiting for him to begin. Sam glance that Dean, Dean glance that Sam, and both of them gave a whatever face which really annoyed me to no end.

"Oh come on, just get on with it!" I said sourly. I watch this Sam gave me this look, just a little bit of a question in his eyes and I had to take a step back. Glancing between both of them, I shook my head. "I'm sorry! I have no idea what's wrong with me, all the sudden I just feel angry."

"Maybe it was the dream?" Sam whispered, as his eyes looked over me. "I mean, you woke up pretty messed up."

"Doesn't mean I need to take it out on you two." I exhaled slowly and then reached out a hand and touch Dean's arm softly. "Okay so let's try this again, Powdersville, South Carolina what are we doing here? Wait, you know what I have a better idea. Breakfast!"

Sam and Dean look at each other, and the three of us got back in the car. I didn't even realize what time of day it was. The night had just rolled into the next day, and as I sat in the back seat I thought about the hours that had passed. We had gone to the bar, had fought the succubus, Sam patched me up and we had managed to find another hunt, all before breakfast.

Yeah, it didn't take much convincing to get the guys to agree that breakfast would be the next logical step. So once back in the Impala, we hit the highway and took off to move a little closer to the town that Dean's friend had called about.

We found a small diner just on the outskirts and tucked ourselves into a booth into the back. My back to the window and facing the door. Dean slid in beside me before Sam had a chance and I smiled at the irritated look on the younger one's face before I felt his leg slip between mine and I pressed my knees together against his thigh.

The shock on the younger Winchester's face was priceless, but it faded quickly as he made his own move and while leaning forward to look over the menu, his hand touched my knee and ran the length of my leg before stopping right where his knee pressed, dangerously close to the heat between my legs and I took a deep breath, which caught Dean's attention.

Sam never even bothered to look up as Dean turned to face him, then he looked at the blush in my cheeks before he narrowed his eyes and glanced at his brother again, who innocently stared at the menu. The waitress was my only saving grace as she placed the coffee cups down in front of each of us and poured the hot coffee. That was the moment that Sam backed away and the very second the heat of his touch moved from my legs.

I cleared my throat, slouched down in the seat so that his knee made the connection and closed my eyes at the pressure before I quickly sat back up and composed myself. Sam was the one who had turned red this time and I heard the growl from Dean, who picked up the menu and turned to the waitress, spouting off his order before he turned back to me.

"What are you getting?" He questioned and I licked my lips as I bit the side of my cheek.

"Eggs, over-easy, bacon and sourdough toast, please," I whispered, smiling at the woman before my eyes connected with Dean's. Was that jealousy there in his green eyes? I wondered for a moment and going against all that I should have been doing, I reached out and pressed the back of my hand against his thigh, creating an instant calm in his face. "Relax."

"I'm trying too," he leaned in to whisper to me, but it was so close that I could almost feel the touch of his lips against my ear. "I have no idea what to do with this."

I grabbed my bag, the small one that I dragged in with me, and pulled out the journal. Sam's eyes were on me as I unclipped it and opened it, flipping it to the pages where the actual entries began, some from April and I slid it to Dean.

"This is where we meet Danni, maybe you should read some of it." I suggested and watched as he sat back, his lips opened and closed as his jaw clenched and he took the book from me as Sam took out his tablet, that he carried in the laptop bag. I took my gaze off Dean and looked up at Sam. "Tell me about this case."

"Four dead, hearts removed, police suspect a large animal," Sam shrugged as he stared at the facts before him, but I watched his brow raise. "They've called a curfew and cordoned off the area where the bodies were found."

"Okay, one: hearts removed…" I paused as the waitress set the plates down before us and I smiled, but then waited for her to move away before I continued, and leaned in closer to the Sam. "Sounds more like a werewolf than a hellhound."

"She's not wrong," Sam whispered, his eyes traveling to Dean, who was concentrating on breakfast.

"They leave out the parts where the body cavity is gutted and torn to shreds," Dean answered, lifting his head to answer with a mouthful of food. I put the unopened ketchup container back in its spot as he shrugged and went back to eating, taking another bite before he continued. "Besides, there's no Were activity in this area, hasn't been in years.

"So, two: how does the Hound of Goshen legend fit in with a hellhound?" I watched as Sam typed it into his computer and shrugged. "I mean, hellhound: black dog, red eyes, Goshen: white dog, red eyes and had never touched anyone in over a hundred and sixty years?"

"She has a point," Sam shrugged and I heard Dean snicker.

"You just wanna get laid," the older one picked, "you're trying too hard, Sammy." I elbowed Dean squarely in the bicep and heard him groan at the pain, tightened muscle meeting a bony elbow, yeah, not fun. "Okay! Geez, look all I got was bloody pictures that look like a hellhound shredded it's last meal, and a local legend of a ghost dog, not to mention a hunter with more experience than us combined, calling for help."

"Makes for an interesting case," I answered and picked at the bacon. Okay, so I wasn't really all that hungry but food was supposed to sustain life, and I needed something to keep my mind going, so I ate. "Can I ask for one thing? I mean, before we go ghost hunting and breaking out the EVPs?"

"If it's something we can manage," Sam whispered.

"Four hours and a bed," I sighed. "This not sleeping crap is really killing me."

"I wanna check out the coroner's office before we really get down to the crime scene," Sam replied and shrugged, and turned his eyes on Dean, who just kind of grimaced. "If it's that bad, Dean, it isn't just going to stop because we're in town. Four hours should be okay."

"Yeah," he said as he wiped his mouth with the napkin before setting it down on his already empty plate. "I could go for a hot shower too." His eyes locked on mine. "We'll find a place, on one condition," and I watched him glance at my barely touched food, "finish it!"

"Yes, Daddy," I teased and rolled my eyes, but the playful way, more like the seductive way I said it, had him straighten up and clear his throat, which I decided to ignore as I grabbed the toast and dug in while they continued to discuss the plan.

I barely remembered the rest of the conversation as I finished what was in front of me and sat back, pulled one leg up, away from Sam's and leaned my elbow on it as I stared out the window, mug in hand. The memory I got was the five of us, Danni included and Cas, sitting in a cafe, somewhere. Sam had his laptop out, sitting across from me, Cas at the end of the table and Dean beside me as Danni sat across from him, next to Sam.

The conversation was light, but there was something in the air, something just a little off. I remember getting up from the table, and walking outside ducking around the corner of the little cafe.

 _Just around the side of the building, I pressed against the concrete wall and sighed. It wasn't long before Sam came out, glanced at me as he rounded the corner and came to a stop within arm's grasp from me._

 _I reached out and grabbed his shirt with both hands, wanting so badly to kiss him but that wasn't why I agreed to come out here. Sam's fingers traced over my face before his hands landed on my neck, forming to fit the space that it covered, from my chin to my shoulder._

" _Are you okay, you look a bit anxious?" He asked softly and I shook my head. With a deep breath, I tried to concentrate, to understand what I was feeling. "Ali, it's me, nothing you say is going to upset me, so just let it out."_

" _It's Dean," and I watched as he blinked, but there was no jealousy there. "When he touched me… okay that's not the word, his leg was against my thigh, his shoulder on mine and despite the way it feels, which is the way it always has, like grounding, I wanted to punch him."_

 _Sam smiled and licked his lips, "you wanted to punch Dean?" I rolled my eyes at the fact that he was getting such a kick out of this, "and it's upsetting you?"_

Punch Dean? Really? I smiled at the memory, one because I was holding Sam so close, and two, I really wanted to punch Dean for touching me, but as it was, there was something in the way I was feeling at that moment that was making me aggravated and I couldn't put my finger on it.

As promised, four hours and Dean's hot shower was what we got, or at least what I thought we were going to get. Apparently, the boys had other plans. Once settled in the room, I watched Sam change into his FBI threads, and his eyes stayed fixed on me has he fixed this tie, grabbed his badge, and the keys to the Impala.

With one last unsure look as to how he was supposed to say goodbye, he gave me a slight nod, look at his brother with a weary smile and headed out the door. Dean stood from the table, after unloading the round in his gun and setting the mag down beside it, he grabbed me under the knees and turn me so that I was sitting completely on the bed.

"That's gotta kind of hurt, watching him walk out like that," Dean whispered as he leaned over the bed essentially locking me down and I raised my hand to press against his chest.

"He still remembering Dean," I whispered as I backed down into the pillow. "I don't expect him to be all hugs and kisses and goodbyes right off the bat, and what's got you so up in arms anyway?"

"I don't know," he sighed, "maybe it's because I know and I expect it now, but I keep forgetting that he doesn't know everything. It's kind of crazy, you know?"

"Just as crazy as it was when I was trying to convince you of all the things that you know now right?" And his eyes showed me exactly what I needed to know, that he understood. He let out a small breath before he leaned in close and rested his lips on my forehead. I heard him breathing deeply and felt the light touch of his fingers against my neck before he backed away. Opening my eyes I watched him head towards the bathroom, and I turned over on my side just to see him go. "Hey Dean," he stopped and glanced back at me, "have a good shower."

"Yeah, get some sleep." He closed the door.

Sleep was as it always was, light and fleeting, so when the bed sagged behind me and I could smell the scent of Dean's body wash as he curled up against me, the only thing I could do was reach down and take his hand.

"Sam's not going to be all that impressed when he walks in on this," I mumbled and felt his lips near my ear. I was pretty sure that he was that close only to hear what I had to say, but then he huffed a laugh against my cheek and slowly rested his head behind me on the pillow.

"Yeah, well you seem to sleep a lot better with me here, so you're stuck with me, Kid." But I felt his hand move from mine and suddenly he had his phone in his grasp. I heard the ticking of the keys and I couldn't help but smile. "There you satisfied, pain in the ass, I texted Sammy let him know, this way here we don't hurt his girly princess feelings."

I wanted to laugh but when his hand came back down and rested on my stomach, and he pulled me back against him. The only thing that I managed to do was fall back into that slumber that I so desperately needed. Sometime during it I heard the whispers between the boys, Dean moved from behind me, and the bed shifted again with a different sort of weight, as Sam took his place. I could tell by the scent of the man behind me, that I had just exchanged one Winchester for the other.

When my eyes finally decided that it was time to open, that I had rested enough, the arms that were around me were now behind me. Confusion set in at that point and my body started to shake as the memory of a man that I didn't know hovering above me overwhelmed my senses. The power that came off of him was something that I could feel even as my body begin to wake, and I found myself lying with my eyes open, staring at the fabric of a light t-shirt.

Hesitantly, I let my eyes wander up to Sam's calm face. He wasn't sleeping, just lying there relaxed as he had one arm tucked under his head and the other protectively across my lower back, his fingers spread wide, his thumb moving gently across my spine. The shiver, the vibration of the power from the other man in my dream brought Sam's gaze down to mine. I watched the confusion spread across his face and I knew he could feel the tension in my body.

Sam looked around the room, as if he were searching for something, and I realize that Dean must not have been there, because Sam slid down until his was nose-to-nose with me. Closing the distance his lips pressed warmly against mine, giving me just enough time to breathe him in has his hand moved from above the shirt that separated us, to slip below it onto my bare back. The feeling of his hand against my skin made me hum against his lips enticing him to explore more.

His kiss was soft, almost probing, like he lazily waiting, testing to see just how far he could go, but when he went to move away, I couldn't help the way my hands fisted his shirt. No, I needed this and if this was going to let me have control, I was going to take it.

He turned, rolling me with him as I straddle his hips, deepening the kiss, wanting more as my tongue gently flicked at his lips , waiting for them to part. Both of his hands moved now, pushing my shirt from my jeans, giving him full access to the skin there, and he gripped my waist as my kisses claimed him.

Tongues and lips made for passionate kisses was the only thing on my mind as I took his breath, heard him moan as the fire grew. It was when I moved on to kiss the exposed skin of his neck, which he bared willingly as his head tipped back, that he laughed, low and lustful.

"He's gonna come back," but the small noise that escaped his lips when I nipped at his neck made his grip only tighten, "Ali." his voice was pleading, a hand moving from my back to tangle in my hair, not sure if he wanted to push me closer or pull me away, and I know I should have stopped, but this was Sam and I so needed this, "wait."

"Sam," I scolded, almost wanting to tie him to the bed and deadbolt the door, because I could feel his want through the tight bulge of his jeans, but I understood his worry. Moving up to his ear, I bit down gently on his lobe and he almost purred against me. "One of these times, I'm going to get you alone, and we're not stopping."

I heard him huff and suddenly I was on my back, his hips pressing deeply into me as his lips captured mine once again. That was when we heard the keys and quickly both broke the hold and moved, curling up with Sam at my back as if I had just woke and Sam wasn't trying to hide the raging evidence of his desire, but his hand remained under my shirt.

Dean opened the door, glanced at the two of us and rolled his eyes. He set whatever he was holding down on the table, as his jaw clenched, and he grabbed my journal flipping it open as he sat down. He started to read or at least that's what I assumed, but his eyes slipped back to mine as I press my back against Sam.

As I watched him a memory came to the surface, of me standing beside a dark Charger much like the one that Sam had now, but it was Dean and I and the look on his face told me that something emotional was about to happen.

" _I'm sorry if my wanting to keep you safe disturbs you." Dean's deep voice invaded my senses._

" _It doesn't," I paused and shook my head. "You don't get it, Dean, it doesn't disturb me, it confuses me."_

" _Well, I'm sorry for that too," he growled and went to move away but I grabbed his shirt and stopped him in his tracks._

" _Wanna let me finish, Winchester?" I ordered and watched as he stared up at the sky. "It confuses me because it's growing, it's getting stronger and I don't know what to do about it. I meant what I said in the warehouse, Dean, I love you."_

 _He turned back to me and reached out, caressing the back of his hand down my cheek. "And you know that I meant it too, Ali, but it doesn't change anything. It doesn't change who we are to each other, and it doesn't change who we're with or who we fell for."_

" _I know that," I let him go and grabbed the cans again, before I turned away from him._

" _Hey, Kid," his voice had me stopping as he stepped up behind me, a hand sliding to my hip. "I not going anywhere, I don't care what happens or how confused you feel, you're not getting rid of me. Sammy understands that, Danni, she gets it, and you," his lips brushed my cheek before he stopped by my ear, "you're just going to have to deal with it."_

 _Deal with what?_ I asked myself as the memory started to fade. Deal with what, Dean? Deal with how close he was? I was afraid to deal with anything at that point, but to know that somewhere in our past we had been it exactly the same spot, trying to figure out what was between us, as well as what was between our other halves, I didn't know if that scared me or excited me.

I took a deep breath in as I felt Sam move behind me. The younger Winchester's warmth faded from from my skin has he got up to head towards bathroom, but my eyes were locked on Dean's.

"What do you want to know?" I asked, because you know he wanted to ask, it was written all over his face otherwise he wouldn't have been looking at me like that.

"Danni, what happened next?" And this made me sit up. I swallowed hard trying to think of the memories, and I move my gaze from the ugly brown rug to meet his.

"Well to be more specific, what part of what happens next are you looking for?" Dean rolled his eyes as I smiled, but came to sit at the edge of the bed. "Okay, okay, so what part are you at in the book?"

"According to this you just told me about vampires. The lore and your show, what show?" I sat back on the bed, he couldn't really have forgotten all about the show could he? There was no way I was going to explain Supernatural again to Dean Winchester, not with the slack I got the first time.

"Don't worry about that, it'll come back to you when the rest of your memories do." But he close his lips tightly and let out a deep breath, and we both looked up as a bathroom door open in Sam walk out, moving over to sit across from Dean. "We're talking about Danni," I told Sam, "you want to hear this?"

"Yeah I mean, I guess if I'm going to help look for her might as well start learning about her, or maybe it'll help me start remembering." Sam sighed. "After that though, we really need to move on this case. If it's not a were, then it could strike at any time."

"Yeah, I get it." Dean stated and close the book looking at me as if he had just lost a match of rock-paper-scissors. "Maybe we should concentrate on the case, and a little bit more on Danni later." I nodded but I could see the confusion in his eyes before he turned to Sam. "Okay, so morgue me."

I rolled my eyes at the expression, but Sam only gave him a small grin, before he pulled out his phone, flipped open the gallery and got to the pictures that he had taken at the coroner's office.

"So basically. everything points to a hellhound," Sam stated as he handed me the phone.

"I can't make out a damn thing on this." I growled as I handed it back to him and watched as he pulled the laptop out of his bag. Hooking the phone to the computer via a USB cable, Sam brought the phones pictures up to a 17-inch screen. With the bloody mess right in front of me, I gestured with my hand, "see now I could see that just fine."

I stood and moved up behind Sam, resting my arm around his shoulder as I leaned in, but it was Dean who came up on the other side of me, his hands sneaking around my waist as he pulled me closer, that captured my attention. It was weird to be in between the two brothers, but at the same time it was completely natural. I leaned on Sam, and Dean held me. Like it had always been just this way.

"So get this," Sam said softly and flip to the second picture. "This is the body of our first victim, Natasha Green, age 36. She was found two days after her disappearance buy a few hikers off the I-79 Trail. The problem is, they can't determine if the way her body is ripped apart, was before or after her death."

"Two days after her disappearance?" Dean spoke up as he seem to breathe against my skin, "yeah that would leave us questioning what was going on too. You said it was on the I-70 Trail?"

"I-79," corrected Sam and he looked up at me then down at the arm around my waist before he went back to the screen. "Anyway, Natasha's body was found not more than ten feet from the road, not something you're average werewolf would make the mistake of doing. But I did look up that legend you were talking about, the Hound of Goshen, looks like it haunts ride along a portion of Buncombe Road."

"Okay so that's one of our victims," I spoke up, "what about the other ones?"

"Martin Square, age 42 and Janice Elmer age 29, both found on the same part of the I-79 Trail but this time less than two days after their disappearance." Sam flip through the pictures, not as if they were any different from the ones before, but as he went to tap down on the next one, I place my hand on top of his.

"Wait a minute," and my finger moved towards the screen. Without touching it I moved my finger in a circular motion over the top right corner of the screen. "Can you zoom into that?"

Sam moved the cursor, uses fingers and spread the screen wide bringing it right up to that corner that I had pointed at. Dean, not quite sure what he was looking at, leaned in closer, but I knew exactly what that was. And the only thing that we heard from Sam was one word, "huh,".

Slipping out from between the brothers, I walked over to one of the duffle bags that I had pulled from the back of the car, and grab the black book out of the bottom underneath my clothes. Not sure when I had packed research books, but I remember seeing it when I had been searching for socks earlier.

Setting it down beside Sam on the table I flipped through the pages as fast as I could. Both brothers looked on stunned as I stopped in open the book wide, holding it up to bring the drawing close to the screen.

"What is that?" Dean questioned as he leaned down closer to examine both.

"I thought those didn't exist anymore," Sam whispered.

"They're not supposed to," I replied, before I looked up at Dean. "It's a Cerberus, old Greek mythology. Problem with this is that as much as our hellhounds usually stick to the black and red, a Cerberus can be any color."

"Like a big white dog with red eyes?" Dean stated sarcastically.

"Exactly," Sam spoke up, "but what exactly is a Cerberus doing anywhere near South Carolina?"

"Well there's only one way to find out," I sighed and stepped back taking the book with me. Both men turned and looked in my direction, as I pulled the Spectrum out of my bag and slipped it into the sheath attached to my hip. "I think we need to go on a Cerberus hunt."

We had pulled onto the trailhead for the I-79 entrance where the bodies had been found before and all three of us got out of the Impala. Dean opened the trunk, pulled my bags from the top, handing them off as he open the hatch to the weapons cache. Propping the lid up with an empty shotgun, I watched him grab a couple mags for his Colt, and start handing things to Sam, who stuff them into empty duffle bags.

"Have you ever hunted a mythical creature before?" I asked as I watched him pass off strange objects that didn't look like they would do much good to any kind of creature before my eyes came to rest on his and he gave me look of annoyance. "Okay let me rephrase? Have you ever hunted a Greek mythical creature before? Like a Cerberus?"

"Why are you still talking?" He snapped at me, in my eyes narrowed as his did the same, suddenly feeling an urge to punch him again and my memories flashed back to that one incident.

" _You think you can do this alone?" Dean growled, his voice suddenly deep enough to vibrate through me. "If you think you're strong enough to take on the nest alone, go for it, Sugar be my guest, but if you drag Sam into it…"_

" _What, you'll hunt me down too?" I whispered and watched him lean forward just a bit._

" _Hunting you down would be the least of your problems if something ever happened to Sammy because of your careless, reckless, inability to see what the hell is right in front of you."_

" _I know what hell I'm doing Dean." I snapped and watched that smartass grin form on his face. "I know all about what a vampire can do once it has you beneath its bite and I sure as hell know how to kill it."_

" _Did your little show teach you that?"_

 _I shook my head at him, my brows going up, and I could feel the anger burning in my gut. He had no idea how I knew, but that didn't stop the next set of events from happening anyway. I closed my eyes just for a brief second before I turned away to look at Sam, who was standing by the now topside trunk of the Impala, and at Danni, who was a bit confused over the argument. I was fuming and I had no idea why, but that little threat, the possibility that I would put any of them in harm's way set me off like nothing else and I found myself swinging before I knew what I was doing._

 _My fist connected full force with Dean's jaw and I watched as he was thrown off balance, not by the force of it but by the surprise and I walked down towards him as he tumbled back, landing on his ass. He looked up at me in shock as I stood still on the incline but just at the edge of his feet. His eyes were wide and his hand came up to his cheek._

I felt Sam's hand on my arm as my fingers clenched into a fist, ready to haul off and knock the guy one but just that gentle touch brought me back to reality and I shrugged away from him, glaring up at Dean as I turned and walked towards the woods.

"Hey, where the hell do you think you're going?" Dean snapped. I glanced back at him, flipped him off, and kept going.

"What, you think you're the only one that knows how to hunt?" I snapped back, and heard the sound of Sam's boots approaching quickly, before his hand grabbed me once more and spun me back towards him. "Let me go, Sam!"

"What the hell is going on between you two?" Sam demanded to know, but I just looked past him at the glaring Winchester. Sam moved to stand in front of me blocking my view Dean. "Hey! Ali! What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know," I ran my hands over my face knowing that Dean was now out of sight and then I dropped them by my side as I shook my head. "I don't get it, ever since we got into South Carolina, my emotions keep going back and forth, like one minute I'm fine and then the next minute I just want to bite his head off!"

"Yeah, I get that, and it seems to be going both ways." Sam sighed as his fingers came up to rest against my neck, his thumb ran along my cheek. "Maybe it would be better if you stayed at the car, especially if the two of you were going to blow up at each other."

"I'm not staying at the car, Sam! I'm not going to let this, whatever it is, get in the way of this hunt. If the woman in black wants me to remember, and this is part of it, then that's how it's going to have to be." I growl and back out of his reach, just as Dean came up to walk past us.

"The two of you can stay back here, if you're just going to hang out and play, but we got a monster to catch!" Dean snapped as he walked by. Sam's eyes went from him to me and back again, as he took my hand.

I knew one thing was absolutely certain, as we stepped into those woods, whatever was up there, whatever was affecting both Dean and myself, it wasn't a Cerberus and it certainly wasn't a hellhound.

Walking into the unknown, the uncertain, my heart started to race.


	84. Chapter 84

**Chapter 18**

Hellhound Express

Sam finally released my hand, as we followed the older snothead into the woods. I didn't get the angry feeling that flowed through me, I didn't even get why he was feeling it too, or why Sam was unaffected by it, but I was pretty sure it had something to do with the way that the memories were coming back.

Twice now I had seen that one fight, the one scene where Dean was sitting on his ass because I had punched him, but I wasn't as angry then as I should have been. I mean I was furious with the fact that he thought I would ever put Sammy in danger but I wasn't mad at _him_! How confusing does that sound, because now, I could just haul off and let him have it just on principle alone, and the fact that he asked me why I was still talking.

My eyes were focused on the man in front of me, watching Dean's muscles move under his shirt as he moved through the thick brush, just off the trail. Did he really know where we were going or was he just pretending to be big and bad? I was having other feelings about the area, even though I could sense that he was pretty sure he was on the right track.

Sam was just behind me, I heard the slide of the machete that he had attached to his thigh slide from the sheath and I knew he was on alert. There was just somethings you pick up on after being around certain people for a while, like Dean and his sense of direction. It was like man had a compass for the baddies, he knew right where to find them, and Sam, well, he knew when Dean was on edge just by the body language, and when Dean was on edge, Sam was on high alert.

A gust of wind brought the scent of death from the east and I slowly came to a halt, the older Winchester in front of me stopping only seconds after my falls had ceased and he turned to look at me, eyes narrowed, but I ignored him as my sense of smell caught the odor once again. Without looking back at them, I turned to my right and headed off into the small thicket that stood just beyond the line of trees.

Nothing prepares you for the scent of death, not for when you step right up to it, so when it hits you in the face with a downdraft, even the strongest men would double over and gag, but I had seen enough, smelled enough of it that the most it got from me was me grabbing the edge of my shirt and pulling it over my nose.

When I ducked down so I could look at the mangled remains closer, taking me out of the boys' sight, I caught the rustle of their boots on the crisp forest floor. Yeah, nonverbal communication could be great but if you weren't looking at them, you couldn't tell them you were okay. By the time I had squatted down enough to lay the blade on the ground and start examining the remains that lay before me, Sam had burst through the thicket and almost stepped in it. Dean, a little more patient with the fact that, yeah, I wasn't going anywhere, circled around and stopped by what I thought might have been the head at one point, which was now a crushed and mangled collection of fragments.

"Congratulations," he said sarcastically, "you found victim number four."

"This is not a hellhound," I whispered, ignoring his sarcastic remark and grabbed a stick right next to me.

"Don't!" Sam moaned as I rolled my eyes in his direction, "don't poke it with a stick!"

"Yeah, you shouldn't play with dead things," Dean added and I shook my head, slipped the tip of the wood under a flap of skin and moved it quickly out of the way, jumping back as a large beetle crawled out. "Well, that's not disgusting at all." After finally catching my heart, and flicking the beetle away with the stick, I leaned in close again. "Really, you going for round two?"

"Were there any missing persons reports from five days ago?" I questioned and glanced back at Sam.

"Not that I got wind of, I mean the last one was the victim they found, Janice, and that was two days ago, why?" Sam moved just a bit closer and I saw the look on Dean's face as he became curious about my query as well.

"The maggots stopped feeding, they're going into the last stage, so I'm putting this one about five days old." I answered and picked at what remained of the white creatures.

"It's actually kind of gross that you know that." Dean grimaced as i looked up at him.

"Seriously, you really are two-years-old aren't you?" I felt Sam's hand on my shoulder as Dean gave me this childish look, before he rolled his eyes and turned around to survey the area. Shaking my head, I turned back to Sam, he took a deep breath. "Okay, so we've got four victims now, one less than two days ago and now this one is at least five, the hell kind of animal are we dealing with?"

"Still looks like a hellhound to me." Sam sighed as he took the stick from my hand and ran it over the different markings on the skin. "I've seen these kind of scratches before, they're hellhound claws"

"Any large dog can make those kind of marks, Sam," I said irritatedly but then rubbed the bridge of my nose and sighed. "I'm sorry, I have no idea what's wrong with me."

"It's okay, we'll figure it out." But with that, Sam went back to looking at the body. And Dean was nowhere to be found, which you got me curious.

"Where's your brother?" And Sam picked his head up from the spot on the body that he was looking at to glance around the woods.

"What the… Dean?!" Sam hollered as he slowly stood and listened, but there was no sound, even the birds were quiet.

I watched in wonder as Sam stepped over the body, completely oblivious to the fact that he was disturbing a crime scene, more worried about the fact that his brother had disappeared without a word. Not that I blamed him, I mean Dean taking off out of nowhere is probably the worst news anybody could ever get. This was Dean after all. Nothing, not even death would separate him from Sammy so I had to wonder why the big brother disappeared?

It didn't take me long to lose sight of the taller Winchester either, and suddenly I was alone. With a sigh, I reach down and grab the Spectrum blade, turn to my right, and moved away from the smell of the body, keeping myself up wind. There had to be some sort of clue, some sort of, I don't know, sense of direction in this place, but I can't seem to find it.

I walked for what seemed like hours, but I know they were only seconds, feeling as if I had gotten lost in the woods somewhere, expecting the Big Bad Wolf to jump out at any given time. The silence bothered me, the fact that I couldn't hear either of them, and there was no cell service. Yeah, I checked that. With today's modern technology, you should have been the easiest way to keep track of the Winchesters, but in the middle of the woods, someplace in South Carolina, I had managed to hit a dead zone.

As the trees around me grew thicker, and the overhead canvas start to block out the light, I started seeing shadows, shadows were there weren't supposed to be ones, and I knew I was in trouble.

In front of me stood a small stone wall not more than two feet in height but most of it blocked by the overgrowth of weeds and vines that ran along it. Just passed it, the old tombstones litter the grass, even as unkempt as it was. The cemetery seem stretch as far as I can see, but then again we were in the middle of the woods and that wasn't very far. Stepping over the wall, I made my way through the broken and neglected stones not quite sure what I was looking for.

If I remember back correctly, Sam had said something about a legend, one about a peddler who was falsely accused of murder on his way through and they use them as a scapegoat so that the town people would feel more at ease. This was where the legend of the Hound of Goshen came from.

The Hound itself seemed harmless, only chasing off those who happen to venture through the cemetery or off the trailhead. But that body in the woods was not just chased off, it was mutilated. With that knowledge and my Spectrum blade, I moved quietly through the stones.

Just ahead of me was a family vault, with the name Terrence across the top. Among the broken and battered stones, this monument stood nearly untouched, and I wondered exactly what was going on. Looking around and seeing nobody, at least nobody that was going to scold me for doing what I was about to, I reached out and yank down on the old lock, leaving rust under my palm.

It sprung free in my hand, giving a little resistance as I twisted it around. Dropping it to the ground, I pulled on the heavy metal door, making that little bit of noise that Sam always gave when something just seemed out of place.

"Huh," I whispered and looked around.

It was light enough outside that I didn't need a flashlight, so when I stepped into the mausoleum, I was surprised that the sun was shining in through three skylights, Illuminating the two large sarcophaguses in the middle of the floor. Along with every other odd thing that was going on at that moment, the lack of spider webs, and how clean the inside of this place was, made me curious as to how long ago someone had stepped foot in here.

It was then, as I stood between the two cement coffins, that I heard the low growl behind me. Turning slowly, I came face-to-face with a rather large beast. It wasn't black or white, it was brown, its markings closer to a German Shepherd than any hellhound I had ever seen depicted before, but its eyes definitely were glowing a bright red.

"Nice puppy," I whisper softly as I raised my hands, the Spectrum grasp in my right, and I backed away just a little bit more until my back hit the concrete wall. Looking around, I could see that one thing was absolutely certain, I was totally screwed. Smiling, I looked at the dog once more as it padded in. Its paws were covered in deep crimson red, as well as its muzzle, and I watched it leave bloody footprints behind it. "So, you're a little mystery dog. Now what's got you all up in up in arms?"

Dangling from its neck was a heavy chain and as it step towards me I could almost hear it sparking against the cement ground. The way that it dragged it, how its neck was hung low, made me curious on how this dog's life was before it died. I had no choice but to find a way out, because I was pretty sure there wasn't going to be a Winchester saving my ass this time.

At any given moment in time, we think about exactly what we would have done differently in life. At this point, my first thought was I should have never walked into this vault, but you can't change the past. You can only learn by it. Moving as quickly as I could, I hopped up onto the stone slabs that covered the coffins, took the sharp edge of the blade and rammed it as hard as I could upwards towards the sky light

Glass shattered around me and I did my best to use the edge of the blade to get rid of the rest of the jagged edges before I stowed it away in its sheath, and jumped for the edge. Grabbing the sill with as much force as I could, I pulled myself up feeling the glass shards digging in, and I was suddenly happy I had taken that extra upper body strength-training class at the gym.

Finally getting my body up and over the edge, I could hear the snapping of the dog's jaws below me, and apparently I had made it out just in time. With the chain around its neck, the dog wasn't as agile as it should have been. That gave me enough time to pull my happy ass up and onto the roof. With bloody hands, I lay there trying to catch my heart and my breath but that was just about the same time at the phone in my pocket ring.

With the jagged edges of the cuts stinging, I managed to get my fingers into my pocket and pull the cell phone out. Bring it up to where I could see it. I saw Dean's caller ID on it and rolled my eyes. Stabbing at the screen with a bloody finger, I let it go straight to speaker.

"Ghost Hunters Unlimited, how can I help you?" I asked sarcastically.

"Not funny, Ali!" Dean growl, "where the hell are you?"

I looked over the edge of the mausoleum at the ground not more than twenty feet below and let my head drop back on the roof once more with a sigh.

"I am in a small cemetery on top of the mausoleum, with a rabid ghost dog trying to eat me!" I stated, trying my best to laugh it off but my hands were starting to throb. "And I managed to slice my hands up."

"You did what?" I heard Sam's voice snap from behind Dean as they made their way through the forest. "We're coming towards you, I've got your phone pinged on my GPS."

"That's wonderful, you don't happen to have a first-aid kit with you do you, I think I'm going to need a tetanus shot." I groaned and listened to both men rumble with attitude. "Just be careful of this dog, it's not _the_ hound and it sure as hell ain't a hellhound. I don't know what we got going on here but it's covered in blood."

"Yeah, just stay put," Dean snarked and, oh, how I wanted to hit him, but I knew he was trying to lighten the mood. "We should be there shortly, we're coming up on the wall now."

I let the phone rest on my stomach as I held my hands up in the air the best I could but I could almost feel my fingers going numb. The only good thing about holding them this way was the bleeding with stopping.

It didn't take long for the boys to find me, but it took them long enough to get me off damn roof. Dean climbed up using Sam to give him a boost, and sat at the edge of the roof as he wrapped his handkerchief around my hands. He never took his eyes off my face, even though I avoided his at all cost.

"What were you thinking?" He asked quietly his breath against my ear as he held both of my hands in the palm of his, one underneath and one above. I swallowed hard, close my eyes and took a deep breath. "You could have gotten hurt, a lot worse than you did, what in the world possessed you to walk off like that?"

I open my eyes at this, and turned look at him. "You're the one that walked away first, where exactly did you go?"

"I didn't," Dean closest mouth quickly his lips going tight, "I didn't walk away from you, if that's what you're thinking. I thought I saw something in the trees, so I went to investigate. I would never leave you like that, Ali, you know that?" But the way that he said that last part seemed more like a question, as if he weren't sure that I knew he would always be there to protect me. My eyes went to his and I slip to hand out of his grasp to run the back of my fingers on his cheek, over the stubble of his unshaven jaw. "You know I can't lose you."

"Then we better figure out what the hell is going on here, because with you being as pissed as you were earlier, I don't know if I can stick around for that." I said softly and scooted to the edge of the roof. I heard him sigh, scoot down as well, and then he jumped. Looking over the edge, I saw both Winchester's looking up at me, both of them ready to catch me as I place my hurting hands against the edge, and jumped.

Once my feet are planted firmly on the ground, I felt Sam's hand at my back and Dean's wrapped around my wrist, as we made a beeline for the road. Surprisingly, with as much time as we spent in the woods, we weren't that far from the Impala when we emerged.

When all of the weapons and the bags were stashed in the back of the trunk, Dean looked in on me as I sat behind the driver seat and he crawled in behind the wheel.

"You got this? Not feeling any effects of the blood loss, are you?" He questioned and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah Dean, I'm fine, and no I'm not going to throw up in your car!" And I watched as a smile across his face and he got in and close the door behind him. Sam turned in the seat as he closed his own door, and with the rumble of the engine the three of us are on the road again.

I felt the sting of the hydrogen peroxide as Sam held my hand over the sink and dumped the nefarious liquid down over the cut. He stood in front of me watching my face pale as the pain flash through me, but it was a man behind, his arms wrapped around my waist, that was evidently holding me up.

I growled that Sam, who had a slight smile on his face before he grabbed my other hand and did the same. He was now onto the next part, which was dragging me out to the living room to sit me on the bed as he pulled up a chair in front of me, grabbed the lamp from the end table and held it up so that he could see the little shards of glass still embedded in the skin.

I was able to lay down, my legs hanging off the edge of the bed, bent at the knee, as he rested my hand and most of my arm across his thighs, using the small tweezers to get every little speck of glass out. But as I lay there I closed my eyes, and put the other free arm over my forehead.

"Okay, so not a hellhound, not the Hound of Goshen, but definitely something supernatural." I thought out loud but that was when I heard Dean snicker in the corner as he typed away on the computer. I open my eyes and turn my head in his direction. "What are you laughing at?"

"Well you know, tearing something to shreds like the way those bodies were, should have put supernatural at the very beginning of that list." Dean said sarcastically, and looked over at me just passed Sam. "So we got not a local legend, not Crowley's pet, and a German Shepherd?"

"Yeah, I'm kind of finding it a little hard to believe myself," I replied and let out a breath before I turned on the bed not moving my hand from Sam's lap but so that I could see Dean better. "Hey, why you're on there, look up the name Terrence, that was crypt that it caught me in?"

"Terrance?" Dean said softly to himself as he typed it into the computer, but looked at me quickly as I hissed at Sam, who had just removed a large piece of glass. I glanced at him, taking my eyes off Sam for just a second and watch Dean go back to the screen.

Sam reached up, and with the tip of his finger turned my face so that I was looking right at him. I saw the smile form in his eyes before it reached his lips and his gaze move back to my hand. I lay there staring at Sam for awhile, just to see his expression, while he concentrated on the cuts.

He had just finished putting a few stitches into the deeper parts of my palm, which strangely enough I don't remember feeling, when Dean cleared his throat and turned in his chair, placing his arm on the back of the head rest.

He waited until Sam put the gauze over my palm and wrapped it tightly, a gesture that made me wince in pain, before he turned in the seat to look at his brother.

"What do you got?" Sam asked, as he picked up the supplies and headed towards the bathroom to disinfect everything so that he could start again on the other hand, but I didn't move, I just watched.

"According to this, the Terrence family were one of the more prominent ones to settle this area in the early years of the town, but with the powder trade coming in, something came up." It was weird to see Dean doing the research, not that he couldn't or didn't but to actually see him sitting where Sammy usually did. "Looks like the family died off of some mysterious illness before the town had its first major boom. Can't be coincidence, right? I mean, there's not such thing as a coincidence."

"Depends, did they have a dog?" I laughed and lay flat on the bed, hoping that he said no, but as I stared at the ceiling, the silence was not convincing. I closed my eyes tightly and turned my head, just my head to look at him. He was scanning me over, his eyes going from mine to the way my knees bent and back to capture my gaze as I raised a brow. "Did they have a dog?"

"Yeah," he said quietly as his eyes snapped away from mine, and my mouth suddenly went dry. Anger, lust, whatever the hell was playing with my emotions could stop at any time now, especially when it concerned that one. Not that I Iusted after him, but I could feel the need to touch him just ramp up a thousand points and it made me shake. "Actually, they did," he turned the screen to show me an old black and white of the family, mother, father, four kids, and a dog that basically would have dwarfed Terrence if it stood on its hind paws. "Is that your puppy?"

I sat up slowly on the bed, my eyes locked on the computer screen, as my heart pounded in my chest. Before I knew it, his hands were on my face, thumbs running along my cheekbones, but in my vision all I could see was the blood on its paws, and the way its teeth bared, still stained with the crimson color of its last victim.

I blinked away the images as the computer top slammed shut and my eyes immediately focused on Sam, whose eyes were creased with worry and parting my lips to catch a breath, I turned to Dean, who was kneeling between my legs, hands still on my face. The anger that we had been passing back and forth seemed to disappear the instant our eyes made contact.

"Ali," he whispered, it was so light that I almost didn't hear it, and if it weren't for his lips moving, I would have never known where the name had come from.

"That's it," I answered back and swallowed, "yeah, that's it."

"God, you got so pale," his voice was gentle and I closed my eyes as he straightened, bringing himself to the height he would be on his knees, which brought us eye to eye and suddenly his lips were against my forehead. "Why didn't you tell me? That thing could have killed you."

"I told you it was trying to eat me!" I replied, but did it with a smile as he huffed against me, almost to the point where the air movement alone could have blown back my hair. He backed away quickly, moved a hand from my face and ran it through the hair at my temple only to tangle in the back so that he was holding me still.

"You're not allowed out of my sight!" He snapped and I smiled, licking my lips as I glanced past him to Sam.

"I, ah, might need to be for a little while," and Dean only rolled his eyes as he slowly leaned back on his heels.

"Yeah, I get that," he winked, "on that one, Sammy will take care of you." He took a deep breath, looked me over once more before staring me in the eyes and I watched his chest puff up before he got to his feet and let me go. Kissing me quickly on the head, he moved back to his seat at the table and cleared his throat. "Okay, so we have our ghost dog," and with that, he looked over at the two of us again, "ghost dog, really?"

Sam smiled as he pulled the chair closer again and held out the palm of his hand, to which I rested my right hand palm up and winced as he removed the gauze that he had carefully applied in the bathroom.

Dean grumbled as he continued his research, this time on how to stop a ghost dog from attacking. I could have told him it was just a vengeful spirit but there was no telling Dean Winchester anything.

"Going out for a smoke," he barked as he pushed the chair back and huffed, before he grabbed the pack from the table, swung open the door and stepped out into the night.

Sam looked up at me, as he picked the last of the glass from my hand and looked over the wound. "I don't think this one needs stitches," he whispered but his thumb stroked along the meat right under mine, and the sensation brought back a surge of memories, and the feelings that came racing to the surface. I watched the strange reaction to it cross Sam's face and I wondered just what had gone through his mind as he spoke. "What happened to us?"

"Honestly, I haven't remembered that far yet," I whispered and moved closer to the edge, closer to him as he leaned down, placing his forehead to mine. "I wish I knew how it ended, how I ended up where I was when I _woke up_ again."

"Ali, I feel," Sam stopped, took a breath and stared at me with those eyes, as my heart flutter in my chest. "I feel something… something so strong that I don't understand it. I've seen things, like us together, but I've seen us apart and I remember the empty feeling of not being with you."

"Us apart?" I questioned and closed my eyes.

"Why weren't we together?" I watched the hardness, the devil-may-care darkness fade from his face, not the first time since we met, again, but this time he opened up, for the first time in possibly months. " _IF_ I feel so much for you, why weren't we together?"

"I asked you to help your brother," I admitted and felt him shift back, "demons were coming after Danni, you and Dean were her only protection."

"If they were coming after her, and Dean was there, why would I leave you?" He suddenly moved closer, knitting our legs together like a puzzle before his hands found their way to my neck, resting gently on the slope of it. "Why would I leave to protect someone else?"

"Because I wasn't without my own powers," I admitted and watched the strange light in his eyes. "What?" I saw the memory come to him, the way that his eyes darkened over as they shifted back and forth, not seeing me anymore but what was going on in his mind, "what do you see, Sam?"

"A hotel room," he whispered, and his lids fluttered shut, "Dean's on the phone, screaming that demons are coming after them but I had to stay with you, I had to make sure I got you home safe, but you said no."

"Not going to happen," I whispered and watched his eyes come up to mine, "I told you that you had to help your brother, that it was very important to keep Danni safe. Yeah, I told you to go."

"And I listened?" The anger within himself, at himself became evident on his face as he shook his head, his fingers gently caressing the side of my face as his brows furrowed and a pained look crossed his eyes. "I loved you! I needed to protect you and you sent me with _CAS_!" I felt the lump in my throat rise as the tears began to well up. "Ali, why would you do that? Didn't you want me?"

"I wanted, I _want_ you more than you could ever know, and when you remember what happens next, Sam, you'll understand that it was the only way." His chest rose and feel as the memories bombarded him, and I just sat there, still, letting it happen, because I knew everything that happened up to a point, up until that one little spot, and I watched his eyes grow wide. "It started all over with one little line. _We got a lead on Dad, in Virginia…"_

Sam swallowed hard, but licked his lips as he finished my sentence, "Danni and Dean are waiting there for us now."

I nodded at him, he knew everything that he could now, I could see it in his eyes. The man staring back at me _was_ my Sam, the one that had met me at the door in June, had lifted me into his arms and kissed me passionately. He was the one who loved me, who accepted every side of me, who knew what I was, a witch, a hunter, a survivor, and he knew that I would put nothing before my family.

His kiss was soft as he brought me to him, soft enough to say hello, soft enough to never say goodbye, to makeup for all the kisses he had missed, for all the ones he had stolen in the past. It was just enough to tell me he missed me, more than enough to tell me that he loved me, and never enough to feel his touch. But when he broke away, when he sat back enough to lean his forehead against mine, he said the words that I had hoped Dean would say soon. I just never expected them from Sam.

"I remember Danni too."


	85. DH Remembrance - 19

**Chapter 19**

Caution: Contents Under Pressure

"What?" I questioned, my voice low and unsure, since I wasn't sure if I had heard him right at all.

"I remember Danni," he repeated, but I knew I had heard him the first time, I just wasn't sure I had heard him _right_.

"You remember Danni, how exactly do you remember her?" I wasn't saying it like in total disbelief, but with fascination, because Dean didn't have a freaking clue and here Sam was remembering her?

"Bossy," he said with a smile and this made me blink just a few times, yeah that wasn't the first word that came to my mind when I thought about the woman who had become my older sister, but apparently, for him that was it. "And stubborn and downright dangerous when she wanted to be, actually, she reminds me of you."

And that was when a memory slide to the forefront.

" _If you're coming, pack your shit, I'm leaving in 20 minutes." Danni barked at Dean and I licked my lips as she walked by before biting down on my lower one. I looked up at Dean trying to hide my smile._

" _Jesus, you would never know that you two weren't really related," he stated, his eyes coming down to mine as he moved over to take the seat she just vacated. "She's just as pigheaded as you are."_

"Yeah, I could see how you would get that," I grinned and Sam took me by the fingers, he glanced outside, making note of where his brother was before he moved to sit beside me on the bed, giving him a better vantage point so that he could see Dean without the older one knowing he was looking out for him. "Danni was tough, is tough, and yeah, you and her kind of clashed when you first met."

"I remember," he laughed, an honest laugh because he could say that without lying, because he truly did remember. "She didn't trust me, not with you, she always had to protect you, even from him," his eyes went to Dean for a moment before they came back down to me. "You know that right, that your sister was always putting you first, even when you pushed us to do just that, when you ordered Dean, when you told me to go?"

He paused for a moment, his eyes getting hard as he thought back to that moment at the bunker, something I had been told about but he had never really discussed. I closed my fingers around his hand the best I could, watched him take a deep breath as he clenched his jaw. Apparently, emotions weren't as easy for this Winchester as I thought, Sam had always been open about things with me but this, apparently, this was something that was hard for him to do.

"When we got back to the bunker, the first thing I did was hop out of the car. There was no way I was going to be able to stay there, not with Danni. I was pissed. I just wanted to run because I didn't get it." He turned to me, glanced into my eyes inside before he turned back to look at our fingers. "Why did I have to be there, why did I have to help protect her, when I _needed_ to protect you? I didn't get why you sent me away, I didn't care to understand why I just wanted you back. I went to my room, slam the door, and locked Cas out. I know he wanted to talk to me, he wanted to tell me that he was going back to you but I didn't even care, because he wasn't taking me.

"It felt like forever pacing around the bedroom, but I know it wasn't that long at all. It was just me fuming. I didn't understand Ali, I didn't get why you had sent me away." He was repeating himself getting quite flustered as he tried to get his thoughts in order, but I knew that the memories were coming so fast that he was having issues keeping up with them. I knew he needed some way to focus, and I moved from the bed, stood in front of him and pushed him back as I straddled his lap. His hands came down to wrap around my waist and I felt the fingers at the small of my back. He licked his lips focusing on my eyes, and it seemed to help him as he took a breath. "So yeah, I was pretty upset. I mean, you didn't tell me why so I was left there just stewing in my own juices.

"I got so mad, and I was so blind, I couldn't see that there were bigger things going on, I just knew that I had to get back to you and I couldn't." I ran my finger along Sam's cheek trying to get his heart rate to go down as I watched it thump against his neck. "I was supposed to get you home safe, and I was sitting in my room, drinking. I even stole a bottle of Jack from Dean's room, and I think I was halfway through it, when the door burst open, and this little, fiery redhead burst in, slamming the door against the wall. Ali, she was pissed, worse than I was! I mean, she was literally fuming, I was waiting for smoke detectors to go off." And he laughs as he said it but I knew that he was serious. "She let in on me and I don't think I've ever heard anyone drop the bomb as much as she did in the first sentence. She wanted to know _why_ I was there, she wanted to know _why_ I wasn't with you, she wanted to know _why_ you weren't here with us.

"I had no answers, they were all the questions that I need to know but I had none of the answers. She said it was _our_ fault that we were here and you weren't. Our fault that she was in this situation, but I know they were just words, just angry, spiteful words. I was supposed to be her little brother, that's what she said to me, I was supposed to be the one to protect you when she couldn't. So why was I there? That's what she asked me, _why was I there_ , and how can I tell her that you were the one that sent me, that you were the one that put her first, I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't do that to you!" Sam took a deep breath close his eyes for a second, and just let me feel the way his body move under my hands, has he tried to get himself under control. "Dean ended up in the doorway, just to make sure that things didn't get out of hand, but I don't think he expected her to do what she did next. She let in on him.

"She wanted to know why, with whatever connection Dean had with you, that he allowed me to leave you." Sam laughed. "Imagine that, Dean _allowing_ me to do anything, I'm grown man I can do what I want, but she didn't see it that way. What she saw was Dean, who had been putting on this _need_ , who had been trying to convince her that this connection was something both of you needed, and he was just standing there. So where was that connection? Where is that need to have you close? And he answered her, he answered both of us.

"You made him promise Ali, you made him promise to put Danni first. Did you even notice the way he looked at her? The way that his eyes would go from you to her when you weren't looking, or even the way he stared, when she thought he wasn't looking. You made him promise to do the very thing he would have done no matter what, you made him promise to put her first above you, above the very person that he swore to protect."

I slid off of Sam's lap at those words. I knew that I had asked Dean to do some pretty heavy stuff but to watch Sam's reaction to it, to see Sam's perspective on it made my heart race. Had I put Dean in danger when I asked him to do that? I didn't think so. But maybe it wasn't his physical being that was in harm's way, maybe it was his emotional state that I was putting on a track for collision course with whatever fate happened to be.

As Sam's word sunk in, I couldn't help but wonder about the emotions that Dean had going on at that very moment. When we met this time, it had been intense, so much so that he kissed me twice, that he promised that when we found out what happened to Danni, when we got Sam back, that we would figure out what was going on between the two of us. But now with Sam's words, I wondered if that emotional bond that we shared was something that thing we never really had, that it was something more. I turned back to him, letting him know that I needed him to continue, to tell me just what it happened next without even saying a word.

Sam was able to gather his control as he leaned his elbows on his knees and folded his fingers together in front of him. He eyed floor for a moment, before taking a deep breath in and looking up at me.

"She was so confused, I think all three of us were. You were there in our lives, you had taken over every aspect of every day for the last week, and then suddenly you were gone. Gone, Ali! How do we live with that? I mean, I know you aren't really gone, you are just a phone call away, but at that point in time it's sunk in. From the moment we looked into each other's eyes, at the diner you were _mine_ , you were _Dean's_. And I know that connection was there with Danni so long ago, so what did we do with this empty space in our hearts, with this void that you left when suddenly you decided… _you_ , not us, you decided it would be better if the three of us were together and you took on the world by yourself.

"By the end of it, none of us had any answers, and we had more questions than we knew what to do with. Dean went and got Danni and drink, but he laced it." This made me bring my eyes up to meet his, I knew that he had given her something, I remember that night. The phone call Sam had made not two hours or so into the drive home with Cas, I remember Sam saying that Dean had given Danni a Xanax. Against medical advice. I took a deep breath and stuff my hands the best I could in my pockets, quickly being reminded that the stitches in one of them made for a rather difficult time. "When she was out, when she was finally asleep, Dean went off. He was pissed, Ali, we all were."

"Yeah I get that from listening to you Sam, I get that all three of you were pissed at a decision that I made, but I never got to tell you my side of it, I never got to tell you why I made that decision to begin with." And I rolled my eyes because of course that was a moment that Dean decided that he was going to grace us with his presence.

"What did I miss?" Dean asked as he sat down behind the computer once again, looking between two of us, and pretty sure he noticed the tension that Sam and I were bringing to the surface, but he just kind of gave a shrug and started typing. "Are we talking about the bunker?"

"Yeah we're talking about the bunker," Sam replied and Dean's fingers stilled on the keyboard before he turned and glanced up at me. "And we were just about to get to the point where Ali is going to tell us why she had Cas bring all three of us there. Why she sent me away instead of letting me take her home, and exactly what happened before that decision was made."

"Okay, so let's hear it, let's hear the big reason behind it!" Dean snapped and I walked over and close the door, before I turned back and looked at them crossing my arms over my chest. Way to feel attacked! And I took a deep breath. God could I even remember this right, I mean it was April, and how long ago is that? Grr, I was not a fan of any Winchester right at this moment.

"Okay fine, I'll let you know exactly what happened that night, and then the two of you can make up your mind on whether or not this little trip continues." I grabbed the chair beside the table and turned it, looking back and forth between them, I took a deep breath and got ready to figure out exactly how to explain what happened that night to the boys without losing them. "It was John." I waited for their expressions to change and change they did, Sam's got a pale look of disbelief on his, and Dean's lips turn to scowl at the mention of his father, but I went on. "It was that night at the hotel, the last night before we headed back to home, somewhere in London. Sam was sleeping and I woke up because I swore somebody was in the room with us, I wasn't wrong. He was standing in the corner like some creepy peeping Tom, and his eyes were bright yellow. I went to grab the Spectrum blade, but he just shook his head and stepped out. I could hear him in my head not out loud and he told me that he wasn't going to harm me."

"And you believed him?" Dean snapped, "a demon, in your room, and you trusted him?"

"And almost word-for-word that's exactly what I told him, but while I was looking at the demon, I was listening to John. I was listening to John's voice in my head and it was strange because I knew I could trust him at that point just buy one simple comment. _I saved your life once what would be the point of ending it now_ , and yeah that kind of hit me. He told me he came to warm me, and yes Dean, I asked? Warn me about what, a demon in my room, Crowley up to no good, maybe the fact that he was a prince? But all he wanted to tell me was that Danni was in trouble."

"Dad told you Danni was in trouble?" Dean said in disbelief and I turned to look at him.

"John said that her life was in danger, and that you needed Sam!"

"And you believed him?" Dean snapped again. "Ali, of all the pinheaded things you've ever done, why the hell would you ever believe a demon?"

"Look seriously, you wanted to know the explanation for this! I don't need to stand here and listen to you question what I did, why I did it, and why it doesn't matter now anyway because the outcome still is the same. Sam went to you! He told me that the demons were coming for the two of you he told me that I needed to let Sam go to make sure that Danni remains safe!"

"So did he tell you why?" Sam asked drawing my attention to him in my eyes landed on his blue green ones. I stood shocked for a moment, because it never really dawned on me to ask why, and I shook my head. "So in all this, you sent me to Dean because my father told you to, and you never bothered to ask why Danni was in danger? You never thought to ask why she needed to be safe, and not you?"

"You know what, this is what I got from the memories, that at some point in time, it stopped being all about me and the focus shifted to Danni." I snapped, stood up from the chair. I paced the room with my eyes closed, trying to gather my thoughts, and then quietly I turned back to them. "I didn't ask why, because I didn't need to. I don't know how much the two of you remember, Sam, I know you remember Danni, and Dean I know you remember something, but I don't think you remember all of it. It shifted. It shifted from me needing your protection, to Danni needing to be protected. That's all I was ever concerned about, keeping her safe, keeping the both of you safe. And if that meant putting all three of you in the same goddamn place at the same goddamn time, then so be it. I'm not going to justify my actions of keeping my family alive, I don't need to."

And with that I turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind me.

I wasn't out much past the tail end of the Impala when I listened to the door behind me open and I growled under my breath. Five freaking minutes, that's all i asked for… okay, so I didn't ask, but I assumed me slamming the door shut would indicate to them that i really needed time alone. I guess not, but I wasn't stopping, at least not on my own.

Those boots approached fast, but my name on his lips was faster. "Ali!"

Dean's stop and pay attention to me voice was in full on "do what I say" mode, not that snapping at me was going to get him anywhere because that was a command to stop, and I had no intention to. But when his hand wrapped around my upper arm, and I turned, I did so swinging, with a balled fist and all.

I was fast, but he was faster and caught my wrist, wrapping his fingers around every part of it. "I told you, Porter, you swing at me again, and I'll knock you on your ass."

"I'm still standing, Winchester, so go ahead and give it your best shot!" I snarled through clenched teeth, wanting him to, daring him to make a move, but all he managed to do was drag me in closer, pressing his hand against my back.

"Now, Sammy might still be getting you, and has memories of Danni but I know you, Porter." He glared at me as I fought against this hold, but my loose hand came up and grab his shirt. "I know that look, the one where you're about to haul off and do something stupid but just stop!"

"Let me go Dean!" I fought against him once more, trying to break loose, looking stronger and his fingers spread wide on my back. "Just," I paused, "let me go."

His eyes darkened as a memory unfolding, one of him and I and he blink back the emotions as his grip faltered, his hands slide lower but not to be intimate, it was just resting their his thumb locked in the belt loop of my jeans.

"Jesus," he whispered and suddenly I was being pulled close again, "what happened to you?"

"What did you see?" I whispered softly unclenching my fists, as I reached up and touched his cheek. Watching the uncertainty grow in his eyes.

"Cuts and bruises and I swear Danni punched you." His own words stopped him as he blinked. "Danni... she told me she had to choose, that when it was done, it was us it was over. Christ, Ali, what happened?"

I close my eyes and press my lips to the hand holding my wrist. "I wish I knew but a lot of it I'm still in the dark about. The memories of June, I'm assuming it's June, that's when they said I had another breakdown."

Memories of John, and that night that he died, came flying back at me. And I shivered against him. Yeah I already knew how that act played out, I close my eyes, trying to slow that onslaught of new memories, and press my forehead against Dean's chest, releasing him to slip my hand between his shirts and around his waist.

"I hate to break up this lovely moment," Sam interrupted and I had to smile, because there was just that bit of mischief in his voice that told me he didn't hate it at all, "your phone rang." I pushed away from Dean to see Sam holding the cell out to his brother, "I'm going to guess it was your contact. Nice guy, by the way."

"Why?" Dean questioned, taking the phone as he released me all together, and I watched Sam's eyes harden in possessive darkness when he glanced at me and then raised a brow at Dean. "What did he say?"

Sam took a deep breath, pointed at the phone and clenched his teeth, "let's just say, he touches her," and with that he did a small gesture in my direction but locked eyes on Dean, "and I'll kill him."

Dean watched as Sam didn't look back, in fact, without a second glance in my direction, the younger Winchester made a beeline for the room as Dean turned and looked on. Bringing his green eyes back to mine, I stood fascinated by Sam's sudden reaction to whatever the hunter had said to him, before I met Dean's stare.

"Should I?" I questioned, and watched the grin grow on Dean's face, completely amused by the events that had just taken place. "Yeah, I probably should," and I patted him on the arm as I followed suit, stepping into the room where Sam paced furiously. "Hey!"

He stopped dead in his tracks at the sound of my voice, but his hands clenched at his sides and I watched the way his shoulders rose and fell with the breaths that he was taking to control his anger.

"Now's not the best time, Al," he whispered, well more like snarled through his teeth and I moved slowly up behind him. When i was close enough, I placed my hands low on his back, one on each side of his spine and raised them up, running the length of him, until I stopped just below his shoulders. "Please, don't. I don't want to hurt you."

"And there are those words again," I smiled and pushed at him. Sam, completely caught off guard by the suddenly shove, moved his feet before catching his balance. I knew I was playing with fire, but dammit if it wasn't fun. Sam tensed up when I placed my hands on his back once again, this time not moving when I shoved at him playfully, "Oh, come on, Sam, give me a chance."

"Ali, it's not…"

"If you say it's not safe," I whispered as I brought my hands down on his hips, fingers tracing the hipbones that his low rise jeans exposed, "I'm going to do so much worse to you than your imagination is letting on, so move it, sport!"

"Where are we going?" there was curiosity in his voice, but the threat of violence was still there, still just under the surface.

"Just to the bathroom, and don't get any funny ideas." I answered and stepped forward, pushing at him as I did and felt him move.

"You're taking me to the bathroom, I've got all sorts of funny ideas," he replied and I heard the smile in his words as we both stepped into the small room and I closed the door, before turning him face him. Sam leaned against the wall, I could still see the seething anger in his eyes as I reached out for his shirt, but his hands were instantly on mine. "I thought you said no funny ideas, and that, right now, is not funny… not a good idea at all."

"I know you think you could hurt me, and I know you think you know what's going to happen, but it's not, Sam, can you just trust me when I say, this isn't what you think?" I whispered, taking that one small step closer, hoping he had remembered enough to know that I would never do anything that would hurt him. He slowly lowered his hands, surrendering to me as they stayed clenched by his side. "You have to say it out loud, Sam, you have to tell me you trust me."

"I," he paused, swallowed and put his head back against the wall, letting go of every defense he had, "I trust you."

Taking a slow breath in, I reached for the hem of his shirt, and slipped my fingers underneath. There was something I was searching for, and found it without issue. I moved to tuck his shirt up, rolling the hem so that it rested up under his chest, exposing his stomach and the lower part of his ribs. His eye followed my movements, as I pushed the extra material of his overshirt aside, so that I could see the scarred flesh before me.

I had felt it before, the remains of the wound left by the vampire, but I hadn't seen it for a while, not that I wouldn't recognize it, but with shaky fingers, I reached out and traced the area, remembering the way the tape had felt as I pressed it against his skin, the feel of the gauze over it as it protected the stitches and I felt Sam's muscles clench at my touch.

His hand relaxed, and he moved to reach out, but he stayed his motion, curled his fingers back together and let his arms fall as I moved down, fingers running the width of the top of his jeans before I followed that line of soft, black hair to the edge of the scar.

"Do you know how scared I was when I was sewing you up? How worried I was that I had been too late, that you had lost too much blood?" I glanced up at his closed eyes, the way the feeling of my touch seemed to wash the anger from him, and though I was tempted to brush my hand ever so innocently over the shape of him, tucked not so secretly away in his jeans, I held that need back, as I put my free hand on his hip and continued to travel down the scar. "I needed to stay for you, needed to see you open your eyes, and the need to stay turned into a want. I wanted to stay because you became part of me, just that little bit of time watching over you and I couldn't see my life without you in it. I needed to protect you, Sam, and I knew there would never be a moment that I would ever regret that decision. You would never hurt me."

"How can you be so sure?" He sighed, and I felt his fingers brush my hair, just lightly enough to let me know they were there. I looked up at him as his eyes open and he glanced down at me staring with lowered lids. "how could you have ever been so sure, you knew nothing about me when this started, you don't know how I am now."

"Oh, I know you Sam Winchester, and no matter what we go through, no matter the pain, the heartache, there's always still that one part of us that never changes." I whispered as I push closer to him, placing both my hands on his bare skin as I ran them up and under the shirt, letting my fingers feel the beat of his heart beneath them. "It's what we feel in here for the ones that we love that never changes, you've never hurt me no matter how much you think you have, and you never will."

"I've told you what I've done in the past, how can you know that I haven't become that again?"

"Those in your past, those women, they weren't me, Sam." I watched his lip turn up in the grin as if to say how could I possibly know what those women were to him, how could I be so cocky? But when his hand came down and his fingers ran over the slope of my neck, I knew that I had gotten the answer I needed. Sam knew just what we meant to each other, but I wasn't pushing any further. I took a step back, leaned against the sink, and took my hands from his skin, placing them on the porcelain behind me. "What did this guy say that had you so pissed off?"

He stepped closer to me, put his hands on either side of the sink and looked down on me with just a bit of smug smile before he gave just a little shake of his head. "It doesn't matter, I don't share."

He moved without another word and opening the door, and I watched as he glanced back at me. "What about Dean?"

"Dean's my brother," Sam shrugged and stepped out of sight. I crossed my arms over my chest and thought for a second before I followed him out.

"You'll share me with Dean…" and that was when I stopped dead in my tracks, looking at the wide eyes of the older Winchester as he stood by the table, just about ready to drop the keys, and yeah, that look was total shock as Sam's sly grin was now a full smile that reached his mischievous eyes. "Ah, crap!"

"I'm sorry…" Dean spoke up, his eyes going from mine to Sam as he shifted nervously in his spot, "we're sharing what?"

"I told her I don't share," Sam growled but the playful smile still curled that beautiful mouth and I watched Dean straighten before he went to walk by Sam. He stopped, looked at his brother, and something happened, something that was a barely noticeable narrowing of both eyes before Dean glanced at me and that Cheshire grin grew.

"Well, you should!" Dean scolded as he continued his walk to the bathroom, stopping this time to eye me over before he fully passed. "You should always share you play things, Sammy, I thought I taught you better than that."

"Like I was telling her, only with you." My eyes went wide as Sam's locked down on mine, and I felt Dean slap me solidly on the ass.

"As long as you keep it in the family, Sammy, that's all that matters." Dean laughed before he closed the door.

"Christ!" I snapped and looked between the bathroom door and the man who was now sitting on the bed, "that's so not funny!"

"Totally is!" Dean laughed behind the door, and added a maniacal one in behind it as well.

"You do realize that you just told your brother you'd let him sleep with me." I stated to Sam who looked up and shook his head.

"Oh no, sex is completely out of the question," the blue-green eyed one said with all seriousness as he slipped on his other shoe and then reached out and grabbed me around the waist, pulling me between his legs as his hand snaked up the underside of my shirt. "Anything else is fair game."

"You're both perverts!" I replied, but I could see the way he laughed, the way that, yeah, this was all a game to get me going, and I slapped his hands down, stepping back from him as Dean came out of the bathroom washing his hands. "Perverts!"

I found a spot at the table, grabbed my journal and looked between the two of them as Dean grabbed the other chair and turned to Sam while he switched out his sneakers, ones that I wasn't aware he was wearing, to the hiking boots that he used in for the tryst in the woods earlier.

"So, what did Trevers want?" Sam growled, the name of the hunter leaving a sour taste on his lips, but I just went back to scribbling down things in the book as the two of them talked.

"Told him what we got on the Terrence family," Dean spoke up, his voice muffled as he tied his boot, but he looked up at Sam and continued, "said that the lore goes, the family died of a strange illness, but the medical records that the county keeps, and by the way they're OCD about the historical ones being preserved, so Trevers got a good look at them, said that the cause of death was… get this, asphyxiation."

"They were strangled?" Sam questioned.

"Looks like a quick stop after a sudden drop." Dean shrugged and my eyes went up to him, curious about the blunt nature of the reply, but then again this was Dean. "Records also indicated occlusion on three of the four kids."

"Drowning?" I added and both the boys looked at me. "What about the last one? The oldest boy."

"How old?" Sam watched as I grabbed the laptop and opened it to the page that Dean had on earlier, looking through the sight, I shook my head.

"Fourteen at the time of the picture," I shrugged, my eyes going to Dean. "So, nothing on him?"

"Nothing as far as a reason for an early flight north," he replied as he finished his shoe and stood up.

"A little odd, don't you think? I mean, if you're going to murder a whole family, don't you think that would include the WHOLE family?" I watched as Sam made this _she has a point_ face to Dean and he replied with a general _whatever_ before standing up. "So this Trevers guy never found anything on the oldest son?"

"Apparently not," Dean went over to the cooler and grabbed a beer out, twisting the top easily. "But that doesn't explain the dog."

"Actually, it might," Sam moved over to look at the picture better. "Maybe our hound wasn't protecting the family vault, maybe it was getting revenge."

"Someone summoned a dog's spirit from the grave, for what? To eat people jogging by?"

"They weren't just people," I interrupted and brought up a file that just popped through on Sam's email… from Jones? "According to this, they were all descendants of Josiah Terrence, the oldest son."

"Okay, so John-boy kills his family and goes off and has babies, and now what, the Hound of the Baskervilles is after his grandkids?" Dean broke it down in terms that Dean understood as Sam gave him just a little shrug of his shoulders. "Why?"

"What would you do for a Klondike bar?" I asked out loud, which got both the boys to look at me, before I pointed at the news "article" that I pulled up on the screen. "The Terrence property, one of the last standing homesteads of the town's early history, was scheduled for renovation today when long time deed owner, Morgan Dulak, believed to be the last living descendant of Phillip Terrance, died suddenly this morning when his service dog attacked him."

"Which pretty much kiboshed on the renovation," Sam spoke up.

"And the vultures came out of the woodwork, nice, free snacks for the puppy." Dean rolled his eyes, "who summoned the dog?"

"Alexander Howlette." I answered and shrugged, "last living heir to the Terrence estate arrived today to claim the property title. Plans for the renovations on the homestead are unknown."

"So, if he's the last one, shouldn't the dog go away?"

"If someone raised you from the dead, made you kill a lot of people, three guesses what you would do before you go back to the grave?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, that kid's puppy chow," Dean grabbed his gun and tucked it into the back of his jeans, "let's go find this loser and take care of this so we can get out of here."

I stood and grabbed my jacket as Sam tucked his gun away and shut the computer. "What's the matter, not liking this little gunpowder parade?"

"Starting to not like your jokes!" Dean snarked at me and placed a hand on my back, pushing me out the door as I smiled, grabbing the first-in bag before Sam closed the door behind me.

I guess we're going on a monster hunt.


	86. DH Remembrance - 20

**Chapter 20**

Lady and the Tramp

How much fun do you think you can have sitting in a blacked-out Impala in the middle of the night somewhere in between two little towns in the middle or upper part of South Carolina? You know what, I wasn't even sure we were in the upper part of South Carolina at the moment. I did know one thing though, there was a dog out there and it was hungry.

The way that Alexander decided to explain what his involvement with the Hound was, he found one of grandpappy's old books, and by old books, I mean yeah, the dude was into witchcraft. So Grandpappy Josiah decided that he was going to put a curse on the house, after he killed his parents and his siblings.

You see, Josiah, who was the oldest was actually an illegitimate child, but he was Terrence's illegitimate child not the mother's, so that still gave him the right to the inheritance that he so richly decided that he was going to keep by killing off the rest of his family.

Turns out the dog in the picture we found out was a Caucasian Shepherd, huge massive beast of the thing but it was loyal only to Philip so when Josiah took it upon himself to hang Daddy from the rafters, yeah that didn't set well with that puppy.

So the chain around the dog's neck, and by the way dog's name is Rufus funny to say. Makes me think of the old geezer hung around with Bobby all the time. I miss him! Okay back onto the subject at hand. I scribbled it down in my journal... so Rufus wasn't having the best of luck with this whole _hey let's kill off the fam thing_ , so Josiah wrapped him with a nice heavy chain around the neck and made the dog watch. Problem was, the dog remembered. Smart dog, stupid kid! So what we have here is what you call Vengeful Spirit material, you can't just let an animal watch, they have the same memory as a person.

The issue was when old Josiah was done with that, he took care of Dad, and Mom right along with him, taking care of the siblings next, and he dragged poor Rufus down the road with that chain around his neck. Yeah that part got me too! So our problem is that we had a vengeful Spirit hellhound or at least one as big as a hellhound who is set on protecting the Terrence vault, so how do you take care of a ghost when you can't find the bones?

This is where we are at, we're sitting in the dark lonesome road with to Winchester's in the front seat waiting on a guy may or may not know where the bones are buried.

Sam turned to me in the seat as I held the flashlight, propped up on my shoulder, a little penlight that shouldn't give away our position. And I looked up at him with a grin.

"You know dad used to do that all the time, sitting, writing in his journal over and parked. It took me a long time to figure out the value of that stupid book." He whispered as if you know having all four windows rolled up still wasn't enough protection from her voice is leaking out.

"Yeah well this stupid book, this thing help me figure out who the hell I was. It's got everything in here." I flipped back to the front of the book amazed at the detail that was in there.

First thing that came to light when you open the book, was a little pins that were stuck on the inside of the cover. But the very first page what's the Latin inscription for the exorcism, the way you take care of a Demon, and then underneath it was the English words for those of us who couldn't speak Latin or, was told they really need to work on it.

Next page was pretty interesting, it was a warning from me, to anyone who happen to pick up this book, where was my head space when I started this? It continued on general breakdown of monsters, vampires, werewolves, even a Djinn in there. Yeah creepy right, moved on to general rules you know don't forget the knives and smiled when I found this one, angels are dicks? Did I meet Castiel at this point?

Next up, symbols and sigils. Yeah, this pretty much contained everything you needed to know about any symbol you wanted to draw somewhere. Devil's trap, Angel banishing sigil, I think I even have Henry's time travel one. That one could come in handy should I need to find myself because, it leads you to your own blood.

Oh wait, totally forgot about this one, it's a warding sigil, yeah carve this one on your heart and then any place on a building on any piece of property and it's completely warding from anything, the only way the protection comes off is if someone stabs you through the heart. Remind me not to play with that one!

Tools of the trade, pretty simple right? Shotguns, shells, salt, lighters, yeah, don't forget the lighters. And I think somewhere in here says Sam and Dean, maybe not, but I should put it in there because that's kind of funny.

I looked up at Sam, showing them the entry from April 14th. "This is how we met," I explained, "this here tells me the beginning of our story. Yours, mine, and Dean's. When I found this I was kind of half out of it, I mean, I was remembering some things on my own but I found the Impala picture and then found that it was tucked in what happened to be this journal."

"So what it's got our life story in it?" Dean asked as he also turned in his seat.

"Dude, you've read this thing front to back, the only life story it's got in it is mine. Or at least the life story of the three of us together and Danni." I smiled at him, knowing his tone of voice was only because he was itching to get out of the car and hunt something down. "Anyway, this told me what I need to do. That I needed to find you guys fix whatever the hell I screwed up."

"What exactly did you screw up?" Sam asked. But I just shrugged at him, because I still didn't remember.

"So here is the problem, it mentions Virginia," I watched the expression on both boys faces, watch Sam's go pale, and Dean's scowl as he turned in his seat to face away from me. "Yeah that's what I thought too. The thing is I don't remember ever going to Virginia. I remember Sam coming in and saying that Dean and Danni were down there waiting for us already, but that's pretty much it. I don't remember the trip."

Dean turn back in the seat again curiosity filling his eyes, "so we were all in Virginia, in June?"

"Yeah why?" I look between them as the boys exchanged a glance and shook my head. "Guys, come on what the hell?" I watch both of them, I mean really watch them and I knew exactly what happened, I just didn't let them know that I was aware. "Okay, you guys have got to fess up, because if we're doing this together, I need to know what's going on."

"Dad died in Virginia," Sam whisper quietly, and I let the breath out with a huff. Yeah that was me, but I couldn't let them see that. And I gave him a soft frown. He obviously didn't want to discuss it because he turned in the seat and faced forward. I took a deep breath, but sat forward as I watched a figure approach, his hands stuffed in his pocket as he came down the road. Looks like that's our guy.

Alexander Howlette approach the car cautiously, which would probably be the best decision for him as it was considering the three armed people that's currently sat in her. But as far as he knew, he was meeting Sam and Dean and knew nothing about me.

It was funny to see the man's face when I exited back seat of the car, the Walther completely visible tucked into the back of my jeans. He was probably about average height, five foot ten, less than a foot taller than me but boy did my guys have some height on him. There was no way that Alexander would ever be able to outrun Sam, or Dean for that matter, they were athletic and Alex well let's just say the boy could have stood to lose a few pounds.

As I leaned against the car, my arms crossed, my eyes vigilant for that stupid dog, I listen to him explain exactly where he thought the bones that were located. Yeah, we were going on a hunt. With the bags packed and ready to go, Sam handed me my first-in backpack and I slung it over my shoulder, the Spectrum blade attached to the belt on my side.

Alex led us pass the old Cemetery, and the creepy mausoleum that I had almost gotten eaten in it, down an old back road that was completely covered with grass. It was one of those things that were if you didn't know it was there, you would have missed it kind of drives. And we found ourselves at the back of the old Terrance plantation house, headed to even more run down shacks in the back.

Alex led us to the back of the slave quarters, showing us the large slab of rock that was marked with an _R_ and both Sam and Dean roll their eyes. I smile that this and cross my arms as I set the pack down.

"They thought it was a slave's grave but there aren't any others on the property, and since they couldn't figure out what to do with the dog after, they figured it would be safe here."

"You need a dog to be safe?" Dean questioned

"As part of a ritual, when the grounds are still guarded by it, yeah you've need the bones of the animal to be safe." I answered and watch the way he looked at me. "What? So, I know a little something about a little something." I shrugged and watched him grab the shovel. "So sue me."

"Yeah well, grab an end Einstein, we have to get this moved." He said sarcastically and the four of us managed to dig around it and removing the dirt the held that in place, so we could get the shovels in. Finally it let loose and the boys were able to move the rock, to bring it up on its long side before it fell flat.

"So what's the plan?" Alex asked as he looked at the boys but just then there was a growl from behind us, and all three of us pulled our guns. Rufus was standing there, not more than a stone's throw away with eyes locked on Alex.

"My thought would be to haul ass!" I said sternly and looked at the boys as they cocked the guns.

"The mausoleum," Sam stated and looked at me, "Ali, you and Alex make a break for it, we'll take care of the bones."

"Why do I have to be the bait?" I snapped looking between them.

"Because it already has your scent, and you know how to get there!" Dean answered looking at me as if to ask if I was really going to argue, "besides we can dig faster."

"Fine! Whatever!" I snapped and put the slide back on the gun. I looked at Alex, I shook my head. "Try to keep up! And don't get eaten!"

"Ali," Sam spoke up as I look back at him, "be careful."

"Dig fast Winchester, I'm counting on you to save my ass!" I smiled and watched as he winked but as I grab my pack, I looked at Alex and watch Dean approached the dog

"Here Fido, here puppy, puppy!" He teased as he distracted the hound off our trail.

Alex and I waited only a moment before we ducked back towards the shacks and let the night swallow us up as we raced through the woods. The pudgy boy could move when he needed to save his own backside, but I heard Sam's whistle, letting me know that it was on its way before we even hit the cemetery wall.

"Move faster Howlette!" I yelled and picked up the pace

"I'm moving, lady! Really." He said to me and it made me roll my eyes with how much I hated that name. _Lady!_

Hopping over the wall, we made a beeline for the vault door, but as we moved we were cut off by the dog. Quickly I made him go around as I fired off a shot. Lead bullets are supposed to make a spirit dissipate right? This one did nothing! It hit the bastard and it kept coming!

I pulled out the cell and hit the call button, hearing Sam pick up as the shovels kept digging, before he put it on speaker. "Anytime now Sam!" I snapped

"We're digging as fast as we can. How far down is this thing buried?" Dean interrupted.

"Ali, move your ass!" Sam growled as he heard the dog in the background.

"Do me a favor, Sam, just freaking burn the damn thing!" I snapped back and finally rounded the corner, stuffing the cell into my pocket as I reached out and grabbed the handle to the vault door. Pudgy McGee was right behind me, his hands closing over mine as we both yanked it open, grabbed at the door from the inside, trying to find a hold but seeing none. "WHO the hell designed a door with no handle on the inside?"

"Someone who didn't expect the dead people to want to get out!" Alex replied, as I flung the bag from my shoulder and slammed it against the stained glass window on the door. "What the hell are you doing, that's irreplaceable."

Yeah," I heard the glass give way as the bag shattered it, "now it's broken!" Using my jacket to cover my already damaged hands, I grabbed at the newly formed hole in the wall and pulled the door shut as the body of the large beast came crashing down against it. "Crap! This was a bad idea!" I pulled my cell phone from the pocket and placed it on the concrete lid, still on speaker, as I grabbed the bag and pulled out the small 22oz bottle of granulated rock salt. "Bullets didn't stop it, I don't know why I'm going to even try."

"What are you doing?" Alex questioned from behind me as I poured the salt along the vault door.

"Ghosts can't pass over the salt line, instant vanishing trick if they do," I said as I stood up and looked at him, making for the other small windows in the place before I stopped and looked at him. "But Fido isn't just a ghost, he's a monster that _you_ conjured up and made kill. That's why he's after your ass right now, because you took him from his duty to make him do some very, very bad things." I grabbed him by the shirt, didn't care about the height difference as I pulled him down to me, "I should slice you up and send you out to feed him!"

"I thought you were here to help me," he whined like a baby,

"You're kidding right?" I laughed and shook my head. "Saving people, that's their thing, hunting things, yeah that's kind of mine, so when you released an evil into the world, you became the evil I hunted, so why not let you take the fall."

I meant only part of it, but I wanted to scare the crap out of him because if he made it out alive, I didn't want him touching that book again.

I heard him mumble _Bitch_ as he moved closer to the door to peek out the window. Okay he can call me that, I'll let him have it for now, until I punched him in the nose. I could hear the monster outside padding around, his claws digging at the concrete as he started in on the building itself.

"Sam! If it comes through... this door isn't going to hold."

I heard the grunts as the shovels moved, and suddenly one crash down beside the phone and all I heard was huffing. The voice on the other end of those things, has he cleared his throat and cracked open a beer.

"Hold your tail Honey, we're almost there!" Dean cracked as I heard him let out that "ah" sound like when you finish the beer.

"You're drinking? now?" I growled, but he never got a chance to answer because just then the door with came ripping off its hinges. "Holy shit!"

Alex came flying back towards me against his own will as the dog jumped through the doorway. Pulling the gun out, I fired off three shots right at the animal, but there was no stopping it, as it an advance slowly and I knelt down beside Alex shaking him, trying to get him to wake up, but the throw backwards hadn't knocked him against the concrete wall.

At that point in time an old friend came back into memory and the word _balls_ was all I heard in my head. I smile at this, but at the same time it made me think Bobby, and what would Bobby do in this situation. I reached over and grabbed my bag, dumping its contents onto the floor, I was looking for something anything, and I can use against this Beast. And I came up with one little thing.

Grabbing the bottle of lighter fluid, and my matches, I sprayed a line in a horseshoe shape around the bottom of Alex's feet before I struck a match and set it ablaze. The dog backed off. I was curious about the way the fire was deterring it. I rummage through the bag and pulled out the spellbook that I had forgotten I had stuffed in there when I left Jones. Flipping through it quickly I came to a portion of fire spells.

Slowly I read over the pages, trying to get as much information as I could, but there was one thing for certain, this puppy wasn't going down easy.

"Sam?" I yelled over the sound of the crackling blaze, as Alex starting to come to, "I hate to be a bitch and such this but do you think…"

"We hit it!" Sam huffed, and that was good because the fire was dying down.

I watched it's bloody paws come closer, and I close the spellbook before I had a chance to really get into it, but I did learn one thing, cursed spells can only end one way. I grabbed a hold of Alex's hand, pulled the Spectrum from its sheath and held his palm open. With the quick downward slash, I brought the blade across the skin, and watch him jerk back but the grip on his wrist tightened.

"What are you, some crazy psycho?" Alex screamed as I use the blade how to catch the blood that dripped from his hand.

"Some," I smiled, walking over to the edge of the line, the fire have been I drew is symbol on the ground and whispered. "Sanguis sanguinem sic fiat!" I watch the dog approach, it lips drew back snarling as its head lowered, that chain ring around its neck. And I slapped Alex on the leg. "Get your ass up there something you need to do!"

"Are you out of your freaking mind?" He snapped but scurried to his feet. I waved him closer, still crouch down by the symbol, as the dog watched, eyeing him carefully. "Nice Rufus!"

"Yeah don't nice Rufus him!" I snapped as I reached over, and grabbed the man by a shirt pulling into the edge of the line. "Take the chain off!"

"What?!" He looked at me as if I had four heads, but I only shook mine. "I'm not reaching out there he's going to take my hand off!"

"Better than your head! Stop being a wuss!" I said as I pulled in forward more and pointed to the symbol. "The spell keep you safe blood to blood, you're one of the last descendants of Phillip Terrance, he'll know that, he's not going to hurt you. But you also made him do evil things Alex, and he's not going to rest until you're dead no matter how many times those boys burn his bones, so you have to release him from his bonds! You have to do what your grandfather refused to, get rid of the chains!"

I watched as the man decided to grow a set, as he quickly reached forward grab the chain around the dog's neck. The dog snapped its jaws red saliva flowing as it brought its bloody paws closer and Alex drop the chain.

"Anytime now boys!" I stressed as both Alex and I scrambled back against the concrete wall we watch the dog get ready to jump lowering itself to the ground, poised for the attack as those bloody teeth bared at us again. Suddenly just as it jumped, we watched it burst into flames and it let out a howl, almost like a death rattle what was full of anger and relief.

With a deep breath I finally relax my body against the concrete, and listen to Alex literally pass out and knock his head against the ground.

"Ali! Ali answer me!" Sam yelled over the phone and finally finding my own strength, I got up snatch the phone off the top of the stone coffin and brought it to my lips.

"Cutting that one a little close, don't you think?" I side and listen to Dean start laughing, a nervous laugh that let me know that he had been almost holding his breath, waiting to hear the sound of my voice. Sam exhaled loudly as if the phone were too close to his face and I could almost see him running his hand through his hair. "I'm just going to sit here awhile," I explain to them as I put the phone down on my lap, "and Alex passed out."

"Sit tight Kid, we're coming to you!" Dean barked in the background, but it's voice was full of worry, and I knew the reason behind his need to get to me as soon as possible.

"Copy that!" I whispered not really trying to exert myself as I close my eyes and let the relief of the night wash over me.

There was a sudden rush of boots beside me against the concrete floor as I open my eyes and looked up at the two that were now crouching down in front of me, Sam's hand reaching out to stroke my hair back and I smiled. Looking at Dean, I watched the worry in his eyes fade as his hand came down and touched my thigh.

"You owe me a cheeseburger, and a beer." Dean smiled at me as I said this, but I honestly wasn't too sure if I wasn't too exhausted for it. He patted me on the leg then moved over and smacked Alex a couple times on the cheek.

"Hey! Come on wake up! It's all done, the big bad monster's gone!" Dean said roughly and Alex suddenly came to. My gaze turned up to Sam and I smiled at him as he leaned out and kiss me on the forehead.

"I don't know how we hunted with you in the past," he whispered quietly as Dean helped Alex out of the vault, "knowing that you were out here with a gun and a monster, just scared the hell out of me!"

"If I remember correctly Winchester, I saved your bacon a couple times." And I felt the laugh vibrates through him as he left his lips pressed against my head. "So I guess this means we're even."

Standing by the Impala, Alex shook both Sam and Dean's hand before he turned to me and stuffed his hands in his pockets. That's okay, I'd rather not shake his hand either, guy just gave me the creeps.

"So, I wanted to say thank you for keeping me safe from that dog." He said shyly has his eyes turned away in his cheek started to blush. Oh God, I knew it was coming now. "I was thinking that if you were ever in the area, you might want to consider dinner?"

"As flattered as I am, Alex, see that tall one over there?" As I pointed Sam out to him, "yeah, he's kind of possessive so, having dinner, might actually get you killed."

"The tall one huh," he said quietly, "funny I kind of pictured you with the shorter one. But a guy can't help but try." He stepped back glanced over at Sam and Dean once more and gave us small salute. "It's been fun, and don't take this the wrong way, but I hope to never see you guys again."

"No offense taken," Dean spoke up as Sam gave a smile, "but you keep playing with that book, and we'll be back."

Alex shook his head as he continued walking backwards putting distance between us and him. "As soon as I get home that book is toast, you won't be hearing from me again. Have a good one!"

And with that he disappeared into the darkness.

I looked at Sam as Dean went around the other side of the car and gave him a wink as I slid into the back seat. When both boys were in and the door closed, Dean crank the engine and Baby roared to life. Before he put her in drive he turned in the seat and gave me a look, narrowing his eyes.

"Did he seriously say that he pictured you with me?" Dean asked and I just shook my head.

"Well Sam did say he shared with you," I said sarcastically and watched as Sam grimaced in the front seat. "Hey all's fair in love between brothers."

Sam let out a groan, "can we just go get something to eat?"

Dean smiled turn in the seat and glanced at me in the rearview mirror. Putting it in drive, he headed out onto the old dirt road that led to town. Next stop food.

As the three of us sat in the diner, Sam beside me and Dean across from me, I looked out the window, hoping that the night would quiet down. The way Dean stuffed the burger in his mouth, you would think the boy hadn't eaten in days, but Sam picked at a salad, and I dipped the fries in the ketchup for probably the twentieth time before finally deciding, yeah, I was done.

With a sigh, I push the plate away and sat back tucking myself up against Sam shoulder. They looked over me with concern, and Sam leaned over and kissed me on the head.

"You doing okay, Kid?" Dean asked his cheek full of french fry, and I just nodded. "Okay," he put down the fries, brushed off his hands and then grab the napkins. "I got a question for you."

"I might have an answer," I replied quietly and watched the waitress come come over. Dean smiled at her as she refilled the coffee cup in front of me, and asked if there was anything else we needed at the moment. We all said _no thank you_ and she moved on, but then those green eyes turn back to me. "Okay so what's your question?"

"The dog's chain," he started as he folded his arms on the table, "how did you know to take it off?"

I cleared my throat and glanced at both of them before I kind of just shrugged a little. "It's a little hard to explain," I whispered and watched as Sam turned, resting his arm behind me so that he was blocking me in. I licked my lips and deep breath. "Okay, here goes, going through the spellbook I found an incantation to basically draw blood to blood, using this I connected Alex and Phillip and Phillip's curse, but the problem was the chain was put on by Josiah."

"Okay, but that doesn't tell us anything," Dean sighed.

"Well," I laughed, "if you let me finish, I think I can explain it a little bit better." Dean rolled his eyes, "so, when the dog was buried, the chain itself was made out of iron, pretty much sticks you right where you're supposed to be right?"

"Well yeah," Sam spoke up, "iron is supposed to be a deterrent just like salt for ghosts, so Rufus had an iron chain around his neck, that should have kept him and the curse lockdown in that grave."

"But it didn't, you see the problem was is that when Alex summoned the dog to take vengeance out on the others, he basically made the whole vengeful spirit thing null and void. Rufus was a walking, barking, biting monster. The iron chain, the bullets, even the salt didn't work on him because he was technically not a vengeful spirit."

"Okay, so we get the chain, but what is taking it off of them do?" Dean whispered.

"When you set something in motion like that," I whispered, "there's no real way to release a curse unless you release the object that you placed it on. That chain was symbolic, Rufus was tied down to this Earth because of those iron chains, it was Alex releasing him, or removing it, that let Rufus is Spirit go. It basically broke the curse."

"So salt and burning the bones?"

"That released Rufus's spirit after the chain was removed, after the curse was broken, so yeah everything that we did tonight was necessary." And then I rolled my eyes, "the one thing we didn't do, was put an end to the human monster who started this whole thing."

"You just can't go around shooting people Ali!" Dean snapped and looked at me with confusion. "You know that!"

"I didn't mean shoot the bastard! I meant turn it into the police, I mean, no one's going to believe him anyway when he says he had a dog go after his only living relatives, but something has to be done. He can't just get away with the murder of four people." I pushed at Sam, wanting to get by and the younger Winchester finally decided that it was time to let me go. Frustrated I slipped out of the booth, slipped on my jacket and slipped out of the restaurant. It wasn't long after that that I heard the bell above the door and heard the footfalls of Dean. "You know, for five minutes, you could just leave me the hell alone!"

I turned to look at him at the anger on his face and I shook my head. How was I supposed to be mad at him when I knew that he was only concerned for my safety? Dean rolled his eyes crossed his arms and leaned against the back of the Impala with me.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, "I shouldn't have pushed you in there. I know it's been a long night."

"Yeah, I didn't mean to snap," I whispered back and moved closer to him, leaning my body against him as I placed my head against his bicep. "That dog though."

"Remind you of yours?"

"Yeah, too close to home on the vamp thing," I sighed and felt the phone in my pocket vibrate. Sitting up straight, I turned and looked at Dean as I pulled it from its hiding spot and looked at the caller ID, turning to face him at the same time that I accepted the call and put it to my ear, "Christian?"

"Hey, beautiful!" His voice echoed on the line and I put it on speaker just as Sam came out and stood by us. "How are you doing, gorgeous, those boys treating you right?"

"Chris, it's almost midnight," I pointed out, "what's going on," and then I thought about it, "and you stole my favorite shirt!"

"I know," I could hear the humor in my voice, "And it still smells like you!" he teased but I could see the anger on Sam's face flourish as I shook my head. "Listen, we can talk about that later. I called because I need you to do something."

"Oh, God, what?"

"I need you to come up to Carthage, New York, but you only have two days." His voice was making it pretty clear that he was absolutely serious. "I got a lead on Danni."


	87. DH Remembrance - 21

**Chapter 21**

Signed, Sealed... Dean, Keys

"Carthage, New York?" I asked, as memories seemed to flood me, why the hell did that name sound so familiar. "Why would she be in Carthage, New York?"

"This is Danni, there isn't a rhyme or reason for what she does, but if she caught wind of a case, this is where she'll be." Christian replied, and the three of us got into the car, still listening to him as Dean revved the engine. "Did I interrupted, were the three of you parked somewhere? Got video?"

"Christian!" I snapped and heard Sam growl.

"Sorry, sorry, it's in my nature," he laughed out loud. "So, what I got is, Jo gave Danni a lead, happened to be up that way. She called back to confirm that, yeah, they got a problem up there, but wouldn't say what was going on. So, I'm on my way up."

"So why two days?" Dean asked as he pulled into the hotel and put it in park. I scooted out of the car, still holding the phone as Sam passed bags off quietly before we headed into the room, still silently seething. Once situated, I watched Sam grab the chair in the corner, shaking his head as he stretched his legs out and folded his fingers together. "I mean, she blows in, seals the deal and is out like the wind or what?"

"Always love your choice of phrasing, Dean!" Christian laughed, and I sat down on the bed, pushing myself up to the headboard as I kicked off my shoes and pulled my knees up to my chest. Dean came over and sat by me, his lower arm coming up and resting on the top of my knees as I put the phone between us. I admit that my speakers sucked. "More like she blows in like freaking tornado."

" _Oh, way to make me feel, like, a thousand times better because what's more deadly than vampires? Freaking tornados!"_

The line reverberated in my head as I tried to continue to listen, but it was Dean's gentle caress across my hand that made me looked at him, then over at Sam, whose eyes were filled with worry. I gave them a little shake and listen in on the phone call again as Christian explained how Danni worked a case, which was literally just running headlong into it, ganking the evil son of a bitch and running out the back door.

"She reminds me of you, Dean, wonder if it's a residual memory." Christian laughed.

"Screw you, Pal!" Dean snarked but it was all in good fun as the two chuckled. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Jo set her up on this one, guess she was in the area already so when Jo called, Danni took it. I'm headed up that way now, not far from where I just closed a deal so, I'm going to wait for her, stall her the best I can and hope that you guys haul ass because, you can't keep this one tied down." I smiled at this, yeah, she was a firecracker, always had been so what would be any different with her hunting. "Anyway, just get your asses up here, and Sweetheart, you're gonna have to wrestle me for that shirt back."

"Or I could just kick your ass!" Sam growled loud and possessive, finally saying something and I heard Christian clear his throat.

"Yeah well, see you soon." Christian replied and disconnected the call. I glanced over at Sam, narrowing my eyes and sent out a text, because as much as I thought the hint to Carthage was great, I really needed an address.

Once I put the phone down, Dean patted me on the knee and headed off to the dresser to find his bag. Irritated, I stood up and moved to the bathroom, snatching up the small backpack with the remainder of my clean clothes in it, but when I went to shut the door, it was blocked by a hand.

Was it a thing in my life that I couldn't just have the bathroom alone for five seconds? Between cats and kids, I was sure it had almost been eighteen years without an interrupted shower and now I had Winchesters disturbing the one place that I needed my space. Growling under my breath, I turned and looked up at Sam, who stared down at me with that possessive look in his eyes.

"Oh, give me a break!" I snapped and took my hand off the door as I moved further in and set the bag down. Sam slipped in and closed the door behind me. I did whatever it was I wanted to do to get ready, which was, turn on the spray, place what I needed to in the tub and watched his eyes as I turned and grabbed the bottom of my shirt. Sam didn't move, in fact, he sat down on the toilet seat and folded his fingers together. I grumbled under my breath, "freaking Winchesters."

His eyes scanned over me as I removed the shirt and turned towards the bathroom sink. "So, you and Christian…"

"Stop right there," I snapped and turned back to him, crossing my arms over my chest, essentially giving him a better view of them, since it seemed to push up my breast in the bra that I was wearing. "What happened before we got together, or before your memories came back about the last few months, the ones where we weren't _Sam and Ali_ , you can't say anything about it, because I know there were other people for you, Sam, so you can take that little tone of voice and shove it!"

"So, that's a yes?" He sneered, baring his teeth as he replied.

"Dude," I laughed, "I've kissed your brother more times than I've laid a hand on Christian Campbell!"

"I know, Dean told me." He said softly as his aggressive posture relaxed.

"And, you're okay with that but freaked out about Christian?" I whispered and watched as he gave a little shrug. "That's seriously messed up! Sam, Christian told me what happened between the two of you and as soon as I said anything about being with you, he knew right off that it was hands off, he even said it himself, so just…" I ran a hand through my hair, pushing it back from my face before I wrung my hands together, and took a deep breath, "relax, okay, I mean seriously." I let my hands drop to my side and shrugged. "It's only ever been you, no matter what I don't remember, I know that to be true, even if… someone was there with me, protecting me, I know nothing happened. So, yeah..." I watched his eyes go towards the floor and I knew he wasn't moving. "Okay, you need to get out Sam, so I can take a shower."

"What?" he said softly, looking up at me as if he were suddenly lost, and I stepped forward, reached out and put my hand on his cheek.

"Did you see something?" I whispered and waited for him to make eye contact, but he couldn't, or wouldn't before he stood quickly and cleared his throat.

"Don't take too long, Dean and I have to get in too." he said dryly, and disappeared out the door.

"Okay," I sighed to myself after a moment to gather my thoughts, "um, that wasn't odd at all."

Sam and I sat casually in the room, actually we weren't casually doing much except sizing each other up.I was sitting on the edge, just the way the boys always did, elbows on my knees, looking him up and down, slowly taking in the way he looked. Sam had already showered, while Dean had made some calls, and now the older one took up the bathroom, while we occupied our time.

The shower I had taken to finally wash the graveyard dirt and dust from my skin had set me on fire, mostly because I had to scrub some spots, but the other part was because now I was way too sensitive and wanted to be touched. The other reason was that Sam was sitting there, leaning back low in that uncomfortable chair, his legs stretched out just waiting to be straddled, his elbows on the arms and his fingers laced over his stomach, but dammit if I couldn't see the waist of his Saxx briefs and that little hint of stomach.

It probably didn't help that his blue-green eyes were locked on me, the way the slope of my scoopneck came down, just above the line of my breast, yeah I needed new shirts, and the fact that he had been all but completely possessive since Christian called, watching my every move, licking his lips like I was his next meal, yeah damn, Sam could make me hotter than hell, and I wanted him just as bad, but it was his move, and right now, his move consisted of staring at me. The odd curiosity of what he remembered but wouldn't divulge was making my brain go in a thousand different directions, so staring at him wasn't helping.

Dean walked out of the bathroom, rubbing the towel on the back of his head as he plunked down beside me on the bed, glancing between us as he pulled on his sock and shook his head. I looked at the older one, gave him a little sly grin as he sat back, his green eyes latching onto mine as he took a deep breath and knew just what I wanted from him. Yeah, I was getting the hang of this non-verbal communication crap they were always pulling. With a slow release, Dean stood, after slipping on his sneakers and shook his head.

"I'm going to the bar," Dean stopped and pointed at both of us as he grabbed the door handle, "you two behave!"

"Dean," Sam spoke up, smiling as he took his eyes off me just long enough to glance up at his brother, before Dean made it in anyway out the door, "keys."

Dean rolled his eyes, grinning widely, and pulled the keys from his pocket, before he pressed them into Sam's outstretched hand, looking at me, just as he patted Sam on the shoulder, "You're such a romantic, Sammy!"

And with that he gave me a wink and disappeared out into the night. Sam placed his feet on the floor and like a sleek cat, moved himself until he was sitting, leaning forward, close enough to kiss.

"What do you say you and I take a ride?" his voice was deep and seductive, full of heat and, oh my God was I turned on.

"Where are you taking me?" I questioned, grinning devilishly as he stood and reached a hand down.

"Anywhere you want as long as it's in that car." He whispered as I took his hand and he pulled me up to him. Sam never did get what he wanted, me in the back seat of Baby, yeah, this could be fun!

Dean never let me sit so close to him in the front seat but this was Sam and he wanted me as close as he could get, so I was tucked up right under his right arm, my feet up on the seat so I didn't accidently hit the pedals.

You would think after the events of earlier that night, there was no way either of us would want to even fathom the idea of being parked in the woods, but Sam had found the perfect little spot that overlooked the town and when he opened the windows, I could lean against the door and look out at the stars.

The best place was in the backseat, where he sat by the driver's side door with the window down and I knelt on it, looking out the window, my arms across the deck as I stared up. I could feel the ease as we sat there, not really doing much but looking as his hand ran up and down my leg from the knee to hip, gently wrapping around me. I wanted to take in the way he felt, the way he fit, how close he was before the fire became too much.

"The last time we were back here, we were in the garage." I laughed.

"Doing almost the same exact thing," he whispered and I turned my head to smile at him. I moved slowly, uncurling my arms to place one on either side of him, before I moved my legs, straddling him as I made myself comfortable on his lap. His hands were on my hips, moving with effortless motion, to find any skin he could uncover. "And the last time we did this?"

I closed my eyes as he moved in close, putting my forehead against him, binging my lips to his cheek as his arms wrapped tighter around mine.

"Too long," I said softly against his ear, "way too long."

His hand slipped up my back, cradled the nape of my neck as his thumb came around and tucked under my chin, moving my lips closer to his and I heard him sigh as I finally felt the heat of his lips against mine.

"Ali, I'm so afraid I'll…" he stared but I moved against him, the heat between my legs was more of an ache that needed to be satisfied and he bucked up against me, moaning against my lips.

"Don't worry," I answered, bringing my hands up to tangle in his hair, "you won't."

With that, his resolve gave way and his lips captured mine. Wanting, needing, branding, so much and so hot. Hands were moving, our kisses became chaotic, lips and tongue and teeth and all so very Sam.

Clothing wasn't much of an issue, as he grabbed the hem off my shirt and pulled it up over my head, leaving my lips only long enough to get the fabric past, his came next, leaving nothing between us except the jeans we wore and as I pressed against his hot skin, I felt my body shiver.

Free to roam as he might, Sam's fingers did the opposite of his mouth, tender and soft, they traced over the muscles in my back, the length of my spine and over the curves of my ribs, until they ventured to the front, hell, I wasn't shy, I didn't put on a bra when I stepped out of the shower, I hadn't intended on being dressed very long, or going out in public and now I was more happy with the decision since his fingers were curling and cupping as he pinched gently, tugging at my nipples as he teased a moan from me.

I grasped his hair, holding him in place as I used the fact that the jeans continued to keep us distant and as my lips barely brushed his, I moved, creating the friction and the heat I needed as I swayed my hips back and forth over the bulge in his jeans. He let it go on for as long as he could take, letting me elicit noises from him that told me he only had so much control, before one hand came to my cheek, snaking around to the back of my head to capture me again and he pulled my lips in tight.

His other hand reached for the button on my jeans, skillfully, and slowly removing the obstacle of my clothing as he tucked his hand down in behind, letting fingers roam over the curve of my ass, pushing them down from my hips and I adjusted, only a little, standing straight so the two of us could managed making the irritating fabric disappear and before I knew it, I was completely naked, and back hovering over his lap.

His fingers left my neck, tracing down over my collarbone as I wrapped my hand around the front of his and tilted his head, needing to explore him, but as his pads slipped past my navel and curled lower into the wet heat between us, I couldn't help the nips that I placed on his tight skin, just below his ear and marking my way down to the hollow of his throat.

He teased the nub just enough to get my legs shaking and when my knees were about to give out, when I couldn't hold myself up anymore, his arm gripped me, tucking under my cheeks as he held me just where he wanted and pushed his fingers deep inside. I cried out in a shivering moan, jesus, just with fingers this boy had me coming undone.

I road the wave as he created a pace that sent me reeling, my moans vibrating against his neck and when I needed air, I leaned my head back, moving to meet the thrust of his fingers, letting his mouth come down on my own neck, kissing and nipping at the skin there, creating the shocks of those pain/pleasure sensors in my mind to go into overdrive.

I rocked on him, bringing him in deep, as deep as the arm that held me would let me go and when I could feel the edge coming, my fingers dug into his shoulders and I managed to dip my head down low enough that the closest thing to me was his ear, and even then his mouth was letting me hear everything, the way his breath quickened and his low replies to the whimpers I was giving him.

"Sam!" I pleaded, "now, please!"

I wasn't sure how he did it, I wasn't sure I cared, but the man had getting those jeans down to an art. Without removing those talented digits from inside me, he had shifted down his jeans just off his hips, and down around his ass, the hard evidence of his arousal brushed against the heat, and I felt him move against the sweat slick insides of my thigh. Damn him for teasing, but I could hear the tear of the packet and feel him roll the condom down. Every sense, every touch was focused on those two hands and his mouth, until he moved his fingers and pressed the tip between my folds, replacing the thinner two fingers with his width.

I groaned against him as I felt both his hands on my hips, just waiting.

"Slow?" He whispered, questioning and for a moment, I debated on just how much I wanted.

"No!" I growled and let my teeth bite down on his lobe just as he thrust up into me. I thought I was prepared, having known all about the feel of him before, but the sudden intrusion had me gasp and he paused.

"Ali?" worry filled his voice as I pulled back, catching my breath, and then as I stared down into his eyes, I lowered myself the rest of the way onto him. Sam bit down on his lip, one hand coming up to brace my upper back the other stay low on my hips and as I slid up the length of him again, I rolled my eyes as the absolute amazing feeling of just everything Sam. The next sound came from him, as if he were in heaven. "Oh… God."

His head dropped back on the deck and his hips pushed up as I came down, creating the pace, the need and suddenly it was a wild ride, a well timed dance to see which one of us could bring the sounds from the other.

I didn't care who won, I just wanted that noise from him, I needed to hear him like this, free of anything except that intense need, the way his voice deepened, the little _hmms_ and quick _ahhs_ when I was able to hit his spot just right, and oh did he have a spot, almost halfway up, just under the head, but he knew just where mine was as well, and he knew he wasn't getting to it with me on top.

He wrapped me tight, buried himself deep and flipped me so that the cool touch of Baby's backseat was below my drenched skin. The contrast to his heat was nearly orgasmic as he pulled my hips up and tucked me into the fold of his waist, locking me against him as he braced himself on the floor with one knee.

Rocking forward towards me, he leaned in to capture me, but I met him, grasping his hair to bring him closer as my lips met his in a feverish pitch of want. His sway was gentle, deep and he knew just where to aim as the world began to burst between my eyes.

"Ali, look at me," he whispered against my lips and I fought to open them against the toe-curling feeling. I broke the kiss only for a moan as I tipped my head back, "I wanna see your eyes when you come."

That did it, those words did it, because as much as I was skirting the edge of it, his voice and that want brought me plummeting over it, and I locked onto those darkened eyes, as he pushed forward, never stopping his pace, even as I clenched around him, and he let out a low groan. My body shivered and shook and inside it quivered, feeling every inch of him as he began to swell.

I felt him fill me, his own end not far behind as I pulsed around him and just as I cried out, as I dug my fingers into the muscles of his back, I felt his thrust become just a bit more before he stiffened, letting me ride out the waves on the short pumps of his hips. His eyes stayed focused on me as his lips parted and I watched them curl up, baring clenched teeth as he let go inside.

He finally relaxed, coming down so that his weight rested on his elbows and his head dipped down so that his forehead was against my shoulder while he caught his breath. I smiled, I couldn't help it, not with the electrical feeling that pulsed through and touched on every nerve. Even the feel of his breath against my skin was enough to send me spiraling again, but after a moment, he slid his arms under my shoulders, managing to shift us both back so that the door was at the tip of my head, and he stretched out as much as he could, still tucked inside me, though, that was beginning to be a losing battle no matter how much he wanted to remain. His weight was a welcomed feeling, and I wrapped my arms around him as his cheek pressed against my skin.

I brushed his hair back from his face, hoping to help with his still chaotic need to catch his breath but he didn't move, he just curled the fingers that rested on my shoulders just a little more. I knew it more than anything that at that point, there was no way he was ever letting me go again, and with how sensitive I was to touch, I could almost feel the tickle of his eyelashes as they closed.

Hands closing around my throat had my eyes opened in a flash and I found myself staring up at the bright blue eyes of my stalker woman. Her fingers burned into my skin as the air left my lungs, it wasn't as painful as when she tried to rip my heart out, but I was pretty sure that was because of the lack of oxygen going to the pain receptors in my body.

She didn't speak this time, she just stayed very close and that smile crossed her face as she moved in closer, so close that I could almost smell the scent of her skin, like lavender and honey, and suddenly I was pulled back into a memory.

" _I want you to shut it off." I whispered and watched Cas sit back a bit._

" _That's not…" he started but came forward and closed the distance, screw the personal space. "I would advise against that, Ali."_

" _You're not me, Cas, and this wouldn't be the first time, but it needs to be stronger, I need it off." I sighed._

" _You're talking about your humanity, what good do you think that would do for you?"_

" _It would make it so that this bastard wouldn't be able to manipulate me anymore. If I can't feel, if I have no sympathy for the devil, he can't get to me," I glanced over my shoulder, "he can't get to them through me."_

" _The issue isn't shutting it off, Ali," Cas warned, "it's turning it back on. People have…" he paused, "people have turned it off and never come back from it, because it's just too simple to live like that, soulless, uncaring. What do you hope to gain from shutting it off beside escaping from a monster?"_

" _I'd like to keep my sanity." I replied and reached out, touching his face with the palm of my hand and I opened my mind to him, I let him see everything that I did, start to finish and I let him feel all that was inside me, and everything the demon let out. I saw Cas sit back and close his eyes, and if an angel could turn a little green, he would have._

" _I'm sorry, Ali, I can't." He replied softly, taking my hand from his face. "Showing me that only made my resolve so much more. If you shut it off, if you go in that direction, there isn't a way to save you. At least this way, there's a chance."_

" _A chance," I nodded, giving him a sarcastic smile, "Cas, you have no idea what I want to do, what my mind and the darkness is pushing me towards. There's no saving anyone from that. There's no saving anyone… at all. It will bring me down, it will drag them down with me."_

" _If you can't switch it off, there is something else that I'm going to ask you to do," my eyes filled with tears as I brought the other plan to the surface but this time I didn't say it out loud, I just pressed my hand against him and let the thoughts flow, the feelings, the pain._

" _I want you to make them forget, make the boys forget everything, from the moment we met in Ohio. Take this all ways from them, and Danni. She'll be harder to do, we've known each other longer, but she needs to not be caught up in this, not with what I've done. If they don't remember than this won't affect them, Cas, the evil that I can feel growing in me won't touch them. I can't stop it and you know it, so there is only two ways out, this or death and I know you won't kill me. Make me forget too, make it all go away, everything, from that moment on, and you make sure you stay with me so that when it stops working and I come out of it, you need to erase it again. Promise me, Cas, promise me that you will do this for us, for them. I need to save them, I need them all to be safe. Promise me, Cas, that you'll make us forget."_

 _When I backed away, I saw the loss in his eyes. "Do you understand what I'm asking you do to? If I can't be saved, if this thing can't be completely taken away, do you get what I need you to do?"_

And as I opened my eyes, drawing in a deep breath, let the air fill the fire in my lungs, I heard his voice say _yes._

"Jesus," I choked out, "what have I done?"

The arms that cradled me as I as I lay staring at the wall of the hotel room, were strong and warm, but I couldn't get past the cold feeling in the depth of my soul that I had been the one that truly made this all happen. I was the one that had asked Cas to take away their memories, I was the one that made him promise, and I know that without his promise, without him keeping his word, things right now would be completely different.

I wanted to move away from Sam, from the gentle hand that lay on my stomach, and the one that was tucked underneath my neck, from the breathe against my skin. But I wanted to move closer, I wanted to wrap myself in the scent of him, to never leave his arms. I could hear his brother right behind us, in the bed closest to the door as always, his light breathing keeping time with my own, and I wondered if that was just because I was listening.

My thoughts turn to Danni, and how she would be affected by all this, and Dean. What would she do with Dean, how would she react to him? Would she instantly recognize him, or would it take a while? What would she do with me, does she know what I did?

The rage inside me swirled. The more I remembered the more it grew, and I wondered if this was the reason Cas had agreed to help me forget. Was this what my choices were about? Did the blind rage that I felt building, consume me in the end given Cas no choice but to do my bidding?

Who was this woman? The Woman in Black, the one that was haunting my visions, the one that Dean had seen, that Sam had missed. All of these thoughts ran through my head as I stared listlessly at the wall, catching the reflection of the red digital clock in the corner. It was getting close to six a.m., and we had only been in the hotel for three hours.

I slipped away from Sam, grabbed the pair of jeans that I left at the edge of the bed, stole Dean's maroon shirt, his favorite one. In the bathroom I changed quickly, exchanging the shorts I had worn to bed for the jeans that I pulled on. Tugging the maroon shirt over my tank top, I slipped on my sneakers, and headed out the door.

The sun was coming up, the rays of light had hit the windows of the Impala, giving her shine that was almost eerie, as I headed towards the diner across the street. Coffees for all three, and a bag full of whatever pastries, and a slice of pie, that they could fit in there. We were about to start on the road, Christian had given us two days, and Carthage was a thirteen-hour Drive.

When I arrived back at the room, I wasn't surprised to see either Winchester up and about, but they had only gotten three hours of sleep, and while I was on the verge of restlessness, the two of them we're feeling the deprivation. Snatching the keys from Dean, I moved to the load up the car, tucking our bags in the trunk before joining them again in the room.

"No arguments," I said as I dangled the keys in front of Dean, who rolled his eyes and huffed as he tied his boots. "I'm driving, and you boys are sleeping."

"And exactly what makes you think I'm gonna let you behind the wheel of my baby?" Dean snapped as he reached for the keys, missing as I snatched them back. I leaned in close to him, look deep into his eyes, and grinned.

"You made me stash mine! You owe me!" And with that I kiss him on the forehead and walked into the bathroom.

I heard him grumbling his breath, but he didn't make any kind of protest, which is really odd. This is the Impala that we're talking about, he doesn't even let Sam drive it. I brush my teeth quickly, gather the rest of my things, and packed it in my bag before I toss that in the trunk and the first-in bag on the floor in the back seat.

Sam slipped into the passenger side, and I looked at him with a small grin, kind of apologizing for the fact that, yeah his legs weren't settling up here really well. I had to pull the seat a whole lot closer than Dean had it, and it made for a lot less room for the taller Winchester. Dean stretched out on the back seat of the car, his sunglasses on, his head back on a duffel, and his arms crossed against his chest.

With one last warning, as a car rumble to life and the vibration under my foot from the gas pedal made me grin, I heard his voice close to my ear, and looked into the green eyes that stared at me through the rearview mirror.

His voice was soft, but full of intent. "You get one scratch on my car," he whispered against my skin, "and I'll kick your ass!" His breath breezed against me as he added. "The backseat smells like you."

Sam grinned at me as Dean disappeared back into the backseat, and I licked my lips before sliding her into drive and headed off down the highway north to New York.


	88. DH Remembrance - 22

**Chapter 22**

One for the road.

When I looked over at Sam, it had to be about two hours into the drive, we were rolling down a back road, the music on the radio was Bob Seger, and I was humming along to it quietly, but he was curled up the door head against the glass, his jacket over his shoulders. The look on his face was peaceful, and I knew that he had finally fallen into some sort of restful sleep.

Adjusting the rear view mirror I could see Dean, the way his body seems so relaxed, that it swayed with the movement of the car, the sunglasses that he wore over his closed eyes were just a little off center, but his lips were slightly parted as his arms were braced across his chest. Yeah, he was definitely out.

I smiled to myself, for the moment there was nothing except the road and the boys, and that was how it should have been except I knew that one part was missing. Danni was missing.

As I thought back on our first meeting.

 _The bell above the door jingled and for the umpteenth time, I looked up, waiting on another disappointment, but she was standing there, her long hair pulled back in a ponytail with a wide-eyed and frantic look on her face as she whipped her head back and forth up and down the aisle. I stood from my seat catching her attention and watched as she moved towards me. Danni Danvers wrapped her arms around me like a shaking older sister, one that was pissed off but relieved that I was alright and I almost braced myself for a swing but she stepped back and looked me over._

" _Okay, you've got a coat, your blade, you knife, no bag, a bandage on your arm and," she paused to take a breath, "where's your freaking car?"_

" _Dead on the side of the highway about three hours north." I said softly and slowly sat down. Danni followed suit and stared at me. "Hey Sis." I smiled and watched as she dropped her head to the table in a gesture of either wanting to kill me or strangle me just to the point of me passing out._

" _Don't 'hey Sis' me, chick, what the hell?" she replied, but the smile crept up on her lips. "So, three hours up the highway, what the hell happened?_

That was when I knew for certain that I had truly found my sister. The memory of her first meeting, brought up memory of what might have been our last, and with it the image of Crowley, king of hell.

I could see him standing there, in that black suit, silk tie, vest, even the smug grin on his face was evident in my memory, but there was just something about him, something familiar that pulled me to him no matter how many times I told myself that I was going to gank son of a bitch. Yep, that had always been my plan, take Dean's demon blade and run a little bastard through, but it never seemed to work out that way, he always seemed to be more help than he was, well a pain in my ass.

So when the memory of him came through, I was more than surprised at what was going on

" _My, aren't we a sorry lot." I heard his stupid accent whisper and I so wanted to punch him, but I saw the look on Sam's face when my fists bunched up._

" _Can we just get this over with, please?" I questioned, before turning away and heading out towards the back field where I had seen Cas, Danni and Dean disappear to. Sam closed the door to the room and then moved ahead of us, but as we rounded the corner, as Sam stepped up beside Dean, handing off the can of Salt, I stopped Crowley, almost literally by pushing him up against the brick wall._

" _Why would Dean ever want to unlink himself from you?" The man's deep voice stirred up the anger in me and I met his eyes as he stared down at me, "the power that you hold is astronomical. Between you and Squirrel, I bet you could take on the world."_

" _Just drop it," I barked and watched him raise a brow. "I have to do this and you know why, but I want to ask a few things of you before this goes down."_

" _I told you, Pet, you're already part of a deal, you can't sell your soul to me if it's already bought and paid for."_

" _You owe me, Crowley, and you swore to protect me so this is me asking for that protection, for them," I turned and looked up at Sam and Dean, which got the demon's eyes to go there too and Crowley smiled._

" _You want me to watch over those two lumbering buffoons?" he questioned with a smile, but I knew he would do it. He had a soft spot for them, and I heard him let out a breath, giving in way too easily. "Fine, but under one condition."_

" _No, Crowley, no more conditions, no more pacts, no more contracts." I met his eyes once again and watched as he grew more curious. "There is one other thing."_

" _Don't you think you're pushing it with having me babysit the Winchesters?" but he grinned as he said it._

" _They don't need to be babysat, they need to be protected. If I know anything about what's coming, if anything in that show is true, they're going to need you, and I'm not saying that to make your stupid Scottish head any bigger, they really are going to need your help."_

" _I already said it was fine, Peaches, do you want me to take it back?" His voice went low as he started to get annoyed. "Now spit out your other thing before we get called to join the lovefest."_

" _Danni," I started._

" _Already protected, Pet, can't do much more with that soul either."_

" _Just zip it and listen," I closed my eyes for a second, to really gather my words and took a breath. When I looked up at him, the fire burned in his eyes and I could feel his power. "The next time I come looking for you, I want you to know just where to find her."_

" _What makes you think you won't know where she's at?" His eyes scanned me over and suddenly, as if realization came to him, his brows went up, "Oh," was all he said before he looked over at Danni, watched the way she moved for just a moment before those eyes rested on me once again, "done."_

" _That's it, just like that?" It seemed to shock me that he gave in so fast, but this was Crowley, which meant that there was something else up his sleeve. He leaned in, close to my ear and whispered._

" _Anything for my Angel," and with that, he walked around me. His little remarks were really starting to get on my nerves and I held back the audible growl that seemed to fill my chest._

Crowley had made a promise, to keep track Danni to make sure that the next time I found him, he knew how to find her. Why I hadn't taken me so long to remember that, it's not like I didn't remember Crowley at all, in fact I remembered almost every incident that I ran into him.

The problem was setting those memories to a timeline seem to be more difficult than I had imagined. There were places and spaces in my thoughts that had yet to find a home, and those lingering memories alone made me wonder and just what I had done to make Cas promise to erase everything.

I let myself stew in my memories for another hour, before I decided that I had had enough and I needed a coffee break. Nine in the morning in, the boys are still sleeping, but Sam had adjusted himself a couple times before becoming comfortable once more. The car only had a half a tank, but I decided that topping off Baby would be the best way to accomplish both feats, which was gas and caffeine.

Pulling into the closest gas station, not more than five miles down the road from where I decided that yeah I needed a break, I pulled up to the pump, adjusted the rear end so that it wouldn't take me long to get the pump to the back of the trunk, and shut off the car.

No sooner did that engine stop, was Dean sitting up in the backseat of the car. He looked around, bracing himself against the seat with one of his arms, he removes the glasses, and stared down at me. The only thing I did was wave the wallet in my hand, slip the keys from the ignition and hop out of the driver's seat, before heading into the store.

I stood at the coffee counter, filling up two black coffees and then mine, with cream and sugar and was just about to put the lid on the last one when I felt I was being watched. Glancing up at the curved, round mirror in the corner, I noticed the man standing in the doorway, the man dressed all in black, who, when I turned my body to look at the same spot without the aid of the security camera mirror, was gone.

Always suspicious of people who would appear and disappear, I paid for the coffees, and then made my way up to the car. I sat the cups down on the dashboard and turned to start filling tank, but as the gas pumped into the car, I noticed the man in black step around the back of the building.

Now I know what you're thinking we had been at this crossroads before, the last time I went behind the building I was attacked by vampires, this time I was pretty sure I was going to be safe. Slipping the Spectrum into my boot, I replaced the gas cap and my way around to the darkness.

As I stepped into the back, the light where the exit was near the trash barrel flickered, and I watch him come out of the darkness. He's a little bit thinner than I remembered, but he still had that same swagger, the same dark hair, the same smug smile, and as he looked me over, the only thing I could do was roll my eyes.

"Well, well, well," he smile sarcastically, "you know I told the angel when he came to me that there was no way your mind would let it be erased. Look at you now, riding around in that tin can of scrap metal with the two people you needed to forget."

"Hello Crowley," I said sternly, my hands stuffed in my pockets to keep from reaching for the blade. He still seem to have this strange vibration about him, one that I couldn't shake.

"You must have remembered something if you're standing here with me now."

"I remember enough." But I leaned back against the building and took a deep breath. "Remember that you told me not to tether myself the dean, to not let them tie me down, I remember you putting me in a devil's trap and I remember you promising the next time I came looking for you, you know where find Danni."

"But you already know how to find her." He shrugged, "so what do you need me for?"

"Good question," I pushed away from the door and moved up to come face-to-face with him, closing the distance. "I know why you call me your girl, Jones told me about it, what I want to know is why you showed up at this store, at this point in time."

"Oh it's not all about you Love," the smile wiped from his face, "sometimes it's about the bigger picture, and you're only just a small part of it. Did you honestly think that having your memory erase was going to keep whatever wheels you've set in motion from continuing, did you ever think that no matter what you did, your destiny was always right there in front of you?"

"I'm not worried about destiny, Crowley, I'm worried about Danni."

"Oh yes," he smiled again, "the fiery redhead, yes I know exactly where she is, and I know exactly what she's been up to the last month and a half. She's not your Danni anymore, just know that, Angel. The path that you sent these boys on, that you sent her on with your little power trip on erasing everyone's memory, it hasn't been fun on their side"

"I know that!" I snapped and turn around wanting to walk out of the back, but I stopped and turned to him, "I'm surprised at you, that you think that I didn't know the full extent of everything that I did, that you helped me do."

"I didn't do a bloody thing Angel!" He said to me as he stepped up, I could feel the brush of his jacket as he looked down at me, his dark eyes glowing, "I only did what you asked me, as always, Christ you think it's easy keeping up with you? The way you pull me around, yank my chain, and make me go against my best interest in you, do you know what that does to me?"

"You're the King of Hell Crowley, you should be used to doing these sorts of things!" But he reached out and brush my cheek with his fingers.

"Yet I made a pact that no harm shall come to you, and look at the last 6 months, don't you think it's been a bit harmful?"

"I think I'm right where I'm supposed to be." And with that I backed away, putting distance between us once again.

"So what did this meeting accomplish?" Crowley question just as I was about to round the corner, and I stopped and looked back at him, looking him over from head to toe as I smiled.

"You're still alive aren't you?" And I watched him grin, stuff his hands in his pocket and nod at me is he turned himself and headed into the darkness. But he paused, turned and looked at me.

"When you remember everything, Angel," he whispered, his voice full of a certain emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on. "You come see me again."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you're going to need help." He replied, "this thing between you and Squirrel, it's much bigger than you realize, and the faster you remember, the better. Danni shouldn't be your main concern, he should be." And he moved into the fading shadows. Funny how at nine in the morning, the back of the store was nothing but darkness, but then again, with the King of Hell parading around, I'm sure it was an easy thing to do, to manipulate the light. I shook my head as he disappeared.

Surprisingly when I rounded the corner, it wasn't Dean that met me leaning against the hood of the car, but instead Sam stood there his sunglasses on with his hands in his pockets. His coffee cup on the hood of the car, and I gestured to it as I walked up

"You know your brother's going to have your ass if you get a ring on his car." I smiled as he looked at me, pulled the sunglasses off and tuck them in his pocket. "I left you sleeping I'm pretty sure, so what are you doing awake?"

"There's something about waking up in a car and having the driver missing, that makes you curious as to what's going on outside." He said softly as I nodded in agreement then move to stand beside him, leaning my body against his. I felt his hand moved from his pocket slide the coffee cup back, and then his fingertips rest at the small of my back. "What were you doing with Crowley?"

"When I left, when we were fighting something, the last time we were together, I made him promise to watch you and Danni. I don't know what happened, I still have no clue but I wanted to know what he knew." I shrugged and looked out at the passing cars. Sam's hand came up to the back of my neck his finger and his thumb gently rolling over the muscles. "I don't know what I expected to get from him, but it wasn't much of anything."

"No, it's Crowley." and that was all he was going to give me, but I knew that no matter what I said at that moment, there was a memory he was holding back.

"Sam we should really talk," I whisper to him as I wrap my fingers around his lower arm, but he just shook his head solemnly.

"I don't want to talk about what I saw Ali," he whispered but his hand came around and touched mine. "These dreams, these memories that you want us to remember, some of them just don't make any sense. And the one that I saw, I don't even think I want to deal with until I'm sure, absolutely sure that what I saw is real."

"What could you seen that was so bad that you don't want to talk about it? Maybe I could help maybe I can explain it?"

He turned towards me this time leaning down so that he was close enough that I could feel his breath on my cheek as he leaned towards my ear. "If what I saw in my vision is true, there's no way to explain it, and I'm not sure there's a way to get past it either."

I sighed as he let me go, and moved to the driver's side of the car holding up his hand.

"My turn to drive," he explained and I dug deep in my pocket to reach for the keys, before I toss them to him. Making my way over to the passenger seat I glanced in the back at Dean, and something inside me shivered.

What if he was right, what if what he saw was something that none of us would get past, not this time around? How would we handle it, how would I handle it and then again how would they respond? I knew what I had done to John, but what had I done to them?

As I rested against the door, my shoes off, feet up on the seat, I grabbed the blanket that Dean had draped over the cooler since he wasn't using it, and wrapped myself in it. I didn't want to think about all the questions I ran through my head, I just wanted to find Danni, and get this done and over with. The sooner we all remembered, the sooner that we can figure out our lives.

I needed to figure out my life.

The next time I awoke, my legs were stretched out on the seat, my back against the door, and I felt a hand just above the edge of my socks, a warm hand that was grasping my ankle and I open my eyes to look up at Dean. Somewhere along the line the boys had switch places, and I had slept right through it.

There was a pillow behind me, and I was lying almost flat on baby's front seat. I had both of my ankles crossed over Dean's lap, and like I said his hand was touching the skin, whatever skin he could find. I could feel his thumb moving back and forth, almost as if it was calming him, but when I shifted, it made him look over at me and his green eyes skimmed over me from head to toe before coming back up to look at me once more.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty." He whispered softly and then glanced in the rearview mirror at the man who sleeping behind us. I peeked up over the seat to see Sam lying almost exactly where Dean had been except this time Sam was laying on his side and his knees were pulled up just enough so that he was comfortable.

"When the hell did you guys switch places?" I didn't mean it for to come out as a snapping question but I guess that's what sleep deprivation does to you when you finally try to catch up on it. Dean only smiled and shrugged.

"About two hours ago when we stopped to fill the tank again. We've got about five hours left of this trip and you slept through most of it." I stretched my toes against that hand that held me there and I felt him shift just a little in the seat. Maybe that wasn't the brightest idea, but the roll of the eyes that I got from him was worth it. "You were pretty out of it," he whispered as I move to sit up and his fingers fell away, "Sammy tried to wake you up but it was a no-go. We figured that if you were that deep into it, you needed the sleep."

"Yeah well, when you have some chick dressed all in black strangling you in your dreams, you wouldn't have a fun time with them either." I explained and ran my hand through the shortened hair, still forgetting that I had cut off the length.

"So, what's up with you and Sammy?" He asked as he glanced at me yet again and I really wished at some point he would keep his eyes on the road.

"You really want to discuss me and Sam with your brother sleeping right there in the backseat?"

"Sam and I talk about you all the time, so what's the big deal if you and I talked about him?"

"You and Sam talk about me when? You just met me again!" But I smiled as I said this, "please explain to me what you mean by your brother and you talk about me all the time?"

"I don't know, I mean we've talked about you alot in the last few days, talk about how you feel, I guess."

"How I feel? I feel exhausted and frustrated, and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere except running in circles."

"That's not what I meant by feel, I mean how you feel to me,"he said softly, and my eyes grew wide. I watched his lips move, as if he were trying to find the words, before he sighed and licked his lips. "Okay, so I'm totally confused about everything that's going on," he admitted, "the only person I've ever turn to about something like this has been Sam. So yeah, I can confide in my brother about how I feel... felt about you."

"How do you feel?" I questioned and watched as he pursed his lips, like the frustration of everything that had happened had finally gotten to him and he shook his head.

"Like I told you before," he glanced over at me, "when this is done, when we're all back together or whatever, then you and I will sit down and figure out you and me."

"You told him about kissing me?" I whispered.

"No, you told him that you and I kissed, twice, I told him how I felt and why I did it," he snapped, but it wasn't out of anger. "You think telling Sam that way to prove the point that you didn't have anything to do with Chris was a good idea?"

"You think admitting to him _why_ you did it twice was a better one?" I retorted and Dean shook his head.

"See, totally confused!" He sighed and rubbed his hand on his forehead. "It's getting harder, Ali." He admitted, his eyes going to his brother again, "harder to keep away, harder to not touch you, and still, I don't get it, because apparently we were this way in the beginning and Sam was okay with it then, seems okay with it now, but I'm not okay, Al," he shook his head as he gave me a longer glare, "I'm not okay with it at all."

"Which part?" I shrugged, "the need to touch me, or the need to have me close?"

"The need to at all!" he growled, "I don't _need_ anyone, I never have, it's always been me and Sam, so you can see how this is a problem, right?"

"You need Danni," I whispered.

"I want Danni, they're two different pies!" He answered, but the fact that he answered it that way told me one thing, the memories were still coming back, still flooding his subconscious. "I don't remember everything, but I know I want her, I want her so badly it hurts, but you, I don't get."

"Jones said something to me when this whole thing started about your dad and mine." Dean's brows creased in confusion at the hint that there was anything between our fathers, but I continued. "They knew each other a long time ago, Jones said John and Dad were like brothers, but that one spot, that one time on the shore, when he pulled me and my parents from the river, Dean, something besides a hellhound happened that night, something between you and me."

"I don't remember a river," Dean shrugged.

"Apparently neither did I until April, I thought it was just a reoccurring nightmare, but Sam said he found the entry in his journal, that you had told him the dog with the red eyes had growled at you." I watched as his face paled. "Looked like a hellhound ran us off the road, and when John got me out, you wrapped me in a towel."

"I got nothing," he sighed, shaking his head, "I mean the entry sounds familiar, but I have no memory." His green eyes danced with sorrow, wishing he could tell me something else, something more encouraging.

"It's okay, because what sticks in my mind is that Jones said John didn't stick around that night to make sure we were okay because he didn't want Sam to have the same fate as you and me." This got an eyebrow up on Dean and I smiled. "Something happened that night, something other than just a boy wrapping me with a towel, he said that it sealed our fate, yours and mine."

"Sounds insane!" Dean snapped, "one little act isn't going to create whatever _this_ is!"

"Spells have been bound by less," I mumbled and a flash of a little piece of twine wrapped around my thumb stuck in my mind for a few seconds before I could shake it off.

"Ali, I know one thing, whatever we have, it's not a spell, and it's not fate," he said but his words softened as he, whispered to confirm it for himself, "it's not fate."

"Yeah, let's go with that," I agreed and turned in the seat, sitting up the way most people would in the car and rolled down the window.

Dean glanced at me, knowing the conversation was over and he reached out to the stereo, cranking the remix tape that he had in there and I caught him exhaling as he placed his hand on top of the wheel, letting the sound of _Against the Wind_ flow through the car.

Five hours rolled into nothing as Sam woke up and the conversations began, the three of us constant companions on the road as we made our way north, nothing but rest stops and road ahead. Sam switched off driving, having me move in the backseat, Dean would slide over and turn to constantly pick on me, like a family road trip, but nothing was said about Sam's memories, or Dean's feelings, or my dread of the upcoming meeting, not until later that night about seven when we pulled passed the Carthage, New York town limit sign, not until we hit that stretch of road that the bar was on.

I sat forward in the seat, positioning myself between the boys as we pulled into the parking lot. There were only a few cars there and the rest were bikes, but it was Christian's Grand Am that caught my attention, and I couldn't help but smile.

It was the car that was parked next to him that caught the attention of the boys in the front seat as Dean pulled into a spot a few cars down, some place dark enough to hide Baby in the darkening light but also, far enough away that she wouldn't get scratched.

Getting out of the car, the vibration in the air was tangible, and I shivered at it. I had felt it before, like there was something in me that it called to and whether on instinct or old habit, my left hand pressed down on the hard ball that I could feel it deep within the meat right under my thumb. The warmth there began to spread as I felt Sam slowly slip my hands apart and wrap his around mine.

Maybe it was the reason we were here, maybe not, but the hurt from the strange memory that he wouldn't share was gone, or at least stowed at the moment when he looked down with worry in his eyes. I wondered if he could feel it too. Dean's hand fell to the small of my back and the three of us moved towards the bar, but I couldn't help but stop and admire the car, not Christian's, the one next to it because I was certain I had seen or heard of it before.

She was beautiful, a sleek, glossy black 66' Mustang fastback, so pristine in her upkeep that you could make out every pixel of the neon sign that reflected off her surface, and Dean whistled. I smiled at the chrome rims and glanced at the crimson red interior and, yep, there was no doubt in my mind.

"This is Danni's car," I said with a bit too much excitement in my voice and Dean looked up at me, his eyes a little wide, a little nervous and my hand automatically went out for him.

His fingers touched mine just ever so gently, as he glanced up at Sam, at the way that his brother took a deep breath at the realization that all the memories that he had flood back at him were real. Yeah, Sam remembered everything, everything but the emotions involved when it came to her, but the look on his face told me that he could pick up on those at any moment.

"So she's in there?" Dean questioned, his voice taking on the gruff readiness to defend himself, like he was building a wall.

"I'm telling you, this is Danni's car, this is her dream car!" I smiled and let my hand hover over the hood, "and it's cool, so she's been in there a while, exactly where Christian is." The fingers that held mine squeezed a little and I looked up at Sam, "his Pontiac is sitting right there, so we're in the right place."

"Alright," Sam said as he took a deep breath, not sure he was ready to face his cousin, but I watched the jaw clench as he too prepared himself. "Let's go get this done."

"Right," I whispered back and the three of us headed for the door.

When you entered the bar, there wasn't much going on, men and women milled about, stood around high tables, found corner booths to congregate in, or generally found their way to the bar, but I was looking for a certain someone, and when the music caught my attention, I knew just where to find her.

The song was only one that she and I would recognize as the other's kind of calling card, a sexy but fast paced beat that you could sway your hips to and be really graphic if needed in the way that you danced to it, not that the two of us danced often but we had definitely talked about it. So when the sound caught my ears, my eyes scanned the floor, and sure enough, I found a pair of hazel else smiling at me through the crowd.

Christian sat there, like a bouncer ready to spring, but just casual enough that you wouldn't really notice him if you weren't looking, well, I was looking. His hands were folded on his lap, close enough to the handle of the blade that he kept locked down on his front pocket, and ready enough to use it, and his ankles rested on the chair diagonal to him, creating that space where no one could pass.

He winked at me when he finally got the point that we were looking right at each other, and yeah, how scary was it when two six-foot plus men in flannel walked into a bar behind some little asskicker with a plan, okay not so scary on my part but the boys were a bit intimidating. Christian made sure that I could follow his movements and his head turned slightly up as his eyes brought me to the pair of black boots that stood on the table. My own gaze did the rest!

Those black boots hit her knee, and then from there, to where the black mini skirt touched was nothing but bare thigh and swaying hips and I couldn't help the smile that ran across my face, moving up, I could see the black tank that she had tucked in. Danni had lost weight, she had gotten toned up and and as she raised her hands above her head, eyes closed as she swayed to the music, I heard Dean whistle from behind me, like he was yet again appreciating her car.

Christian reached up, tapped Danni not so gently on the leg to break her trance and I watched as she glared down at him in anger, but when he raised his hand, his finger pointed directly at me, I watched her eyes following that movement, follow that finger and the smile disappeared from my face.

Panic set in. What if she didn't want to see me? What if she hated me? What if she just wanted to punch me for all the things I had put her through, what if…

What if all my fears were unwarranted, what if she rushed at me like she was doing, having hit the floor at a cheetah's pace, and suddenly her arms were wrapped around me. Solid, real arms that held me so tightly that they held me up from falling down.

I blinked back the tears, or at least I thought, as my arms came up and gripped her, returning the bear hug that she had locked me in and I felt my knees weaken as I let all of the stress of the days go. I had found her, I had found my sister and she remembered me, as much as I thought she could, considering that the last time we had seen each other, at least, the last that we "remembered" in Cas' version of events was that I was having a breakdown at a hospital.

She pushed back though i was reluctant to let her go and I could see the tears in her crystal blue eyes, tears of concern but of wonder that I was standing there.

"Ali?" she whispered, and her voice, her voice brought back the thoughts of her standing above me, holding my face, just as her hands came up to do and the words echoed in my mind. _Don't go, Ali, stay with me._ Though I was never really sure I had heard it, not over the manic whispers of Dean's pleas. I caught my breath, swallowed hard and moved my mouth to reply. "Ali, what are you doing here?"

"Danni?" I said softly, knowing it was her but having to seal it with her name as she smiled and and pushed away the hair from my face, brushing back my tears as well.

"Yeah, it's me, what are you…" I didn't let her finish, I just hugged her again, tightly as I stared at Christian, the emotions were too overwhelming, especially with the memories they brought, disjointed memories of the "fantasy reality" I created in the hospital.

I finally pulled back, wiped my tears from my eyes and looked over her face. She had lost weight, I think I had said that before, but her eyes told me that she had seen a world full of hurt and instantly the tears were streaming again, but she smiled, she _smiled_ at me before she brushed them away.

"I'm okay, Al, really." she reassured me but my hands never left her, not her shoulders, not her cheek, I just needed to know she was real. "Now seriously, what are you doing here?"

"Ah, yeah," I cleared my throat and looked at the faces of them behind me as Christian took that a cue to come forward, his hand resting on Danni's hip as she stepped back into the solidness of his embrace. "Danni, this is Sam and Dean Winchester, and we need to talk."


	89. DH Remembrance - 23

**Chapter 23**

No Freaking Way

The look on her face as she stared up at the two men behind me was one that told me almost everything I needed to know. One, she had no clue as to who they really were, except maybe the name rang a bell, and two, there was a certain fear in her eyes when her gaze landed on Dean's, his hand automatically going to the back of my shirt, where he gripped the material just a little too tightly, tugging me back a step.

I reached out and patted him on the stomach, feeling those fingers gently release but not completely let go before Sam closed the distance and his chest pressed against my right shoulder. I was pretty sure though that Sam's movement was more for Christian than Danni, but as she stepped closer, Dean took a small step back.

"No freaking way," she smiled at me, glancing at both the boys, "like _THE_ Winchesters, you guys are legends!" She gushed.

"Really?" Christian spoke up, as if surprised and a little annoyed by her fangirling over his cousins, and I watched the smile fade from her face but the humor remain in her eyes.

"No," she retorted in a completely serious voice, and turned to me. "Ali, why are you with hunters? You don't hunt?"

"Actually," I whispered and suddenly Dean let me go, I glanced behind me as I watched him moved quickly out the door, pushing it open hard enough so that it slammed against the wall. I looked up at Sam as he leaned down and kissed me on the head.

"I'll go check on him," the younger brother stated and walked away leaving me with the two of them.

I raised my hands, as if to ask what the hell had just happened before I turned back and looked up at Christian. "I think I'm going to need a drink, Chris."

"Wait," Danni whispered, "you two know each other?"

"Yeah," Christian whispered, "I kind of met Ali in Summerford, she's pretty badass, you should be proud."

"No, ut-uh, I shouldn't be proud! I should be throttling you!" Danni snapped as Christian raised his hands in surrender and walked away. "What are you doing out here, Ali?"

"Looking for you," I replied and suddenly she grabbed my arm, leading me to the nearest table, but my eyes went to the door.

"Where's Jimmy? Does he know you're out here and how the hell did you end up in Summerford at a hunter's bar anyhow." Her voice was just what I needed to hear, while everything else had changed that same big sister voice still flowed through.

"I was at a hunter's bar, because I am one, Danni, and Cas knows because Cas told me to come out and find you!" I answered shaking my head, but at the sound of me calling him Cas, I watched her eyes do this thing, like she wasn't sure if she heard it right or if I had just jogged a memory. "Look, it's gonna take alot to explain but…"

"ALI!" Sam screamed from outside, and Sam never screamed.

I push back the chairs as quickly as I could, and ran out the door. looking around, I couldn't see where the boys were at, until I spotted Sam's shoe from underneath the front of the Mustang.

"Sam!" I screamed as I ran down towards him, to see Dean on his knees with one hand gripping the gravel, and Sam leaning over him as if trying to figure out a way to help him breathe. I knelt down before Dean, cupped his cheeks in my hand, and try to look him in the eyes. He seem to be gasping for breath, but breathing as he normally would.

I heard his hand release the stones that he had latched onto before he reached out again and gripped another fist full, something more pointy that he white knuckled into his own palm as he clenched his chest. He grunted, as if he was hit with something and finally he raised his eye to look at me, the look in them pleading for help as if he were drowning and suddenly his pupils dilated in the dark, the green color disappeared and I ran my thumb along the scar on his cheek.

"Dean, come on, babe, you need to breath!" I whispered as I pressed my forehead against his. That connection, that one little instance of touch between us was when I felt it, when I saw it, and I watched as Sam reached out a hand from the edge of my vision. "Don't touch him!"

"Why?" Sam growled but I backed away just as little as I shook my head. "Ali, what's wrong? What's going on?" The onslaught of Dean's emotional memories, those one connected to his heart were flooding back at him all at once and he vibrated with power, a power that I could feel… feel and certainly didn't like.

"I can feel him," I whispered back, trying to explain the intense emotion the man on the ground before me was experiencing but I know there was no way that Sam was going to understand. "All of his memories, his feelings, they're coming back, if you touch him, I'm worried you'll feel it too," and I moved my eyes to lock on Sam's, "I don't want it to hurt you!"

Just then, Dean collapsed further on to me, his arm giving way under his mental exhaustion and Sam reached out automatically for him, but the feelings were gone, the onslaught was over. I closed my eyes, thankful for the silence between us and leaned down kissing the back of Dean's head as Sam grasped ahold of the back of his brother's shirt.

I stared hard into Sam's eyes, waiting for him to be hit with the same slap in the face of emotions, but there was nothing, no change in his eyes, no evidence of pain, but I saw everything that Sam was seeing. All of April flooded in for both of them, but Sam knew already, he had the feelings there, he just took them in stride. Dean knew everything now, at least about that trip, Danni, the way he was with her, how they met, how they got together and every crazy, horrible detail, and now Sam knew too.

Dean curled up against me more, his head dropping to my lap as his hands released the rocks and rested gently on my thighs, catching his breath as suddenly one hand reached out from him to grip Sam's shirt, to make sure that his brother was close by. And as I finally relaxed, I looked up at see Danni and Christian standing there. She looked completely confused, but Christian took in a deep breath, his face filled with concern for his cousin.

I watched Sam crouch down beside the passenger's side door of Baby, protectively watching Dean who was sitting in her front seat, his head back against the rest and Christian tried to hand Dean the water bottle in his hand, but the older Winchester reached up and snatched the beer bottle from his cousin. I smiled as he cracked it open and drunk most of it down before his eyes darted over to me, just for a second before they closed again.

Danni bumped my arm, as I stood against the fender of the Mustang, watching the scene from a distance. There was just something in Dean's eyes that told me that being close to him wasn't the best idea right yet. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, shifted my weight and turned to look at Danni who moved up beside me, plastic cup in hand and I smiled.

"Hey," she shrugged as she brought the glass up to her lips and I shook my head because I could smell the booze, "What Tally doesn't know, won't hurt him!"

"Tally?" I grinned wider and shook my head. "First name basis with the bartender?"

"You always have to be on a first name basis with the barkeep, it helps the free drinks to keep moving," she snickered and I nodded. She definitely had a point. Her eyes went over to the boys, specifically I saw her scan over Dean, who's head was back as Christian and Sam talked, more or less, civil to each other. "So, I know you just got here, and this is so overbearing of me, but big sister thing, what's going on?"

"You disappear for months and you think it's okay to be overbearing?" I replied back and looked at her, but she narrowed her eyes and shook her head, anger flashing in those blue orbs. "Okay, fair enough, last time we saw each other, i wasn't exactly being helpful."

"You were pretty much insane, Ali, they locked you up for a week!" I stepped away from the car and nodded, licking my lips, but I turned to her, shrugged and took a moment to gather my argument.

"Danni, tell me how you got here?" but the woman just rolled her eyes and looked back at the car, which in turn made me repeat the gesture back. "No, listen, on June 21st, you walked out of a hospital room, right, just turned tail and marched your happy ass right out of my life, so what happened next? How did you get to be where you are? Hunting and don't sugar coat it for me because I know how to hunt, I've been doing it just as long as you have!"

"You have not been hunting," she laughed, and I pulled the gun from the back of my jeans, a gesture that got Sam's attention, but I held it in my open palm. Danni looked at it as if she recognized it and slowly, I unclipped the mag and handed it to her. "Holy shit, those are Devil's trap, silver bullets."

"Yeah, Winchester style," I replied, clipped the mag back in and tucked the gun safely away, and that was when she noticed the blade at my hip. "Spectrum."

"I thought they lost it at the accident?"

"Nope," I sighed, " turned out a friend had it locked away for safekeeping," I crossed my arms as I looked at her and shrugged, "so, you answer my questions and I'll answer yours, deal?"

"I think I'm going to need a bigger drink," she whispered, but her eyes went to the men at the car and I glanced back to see what had her attention. Dean's bright green eyes were locked on her, a pained expression on his face, but Sam was scanning me over, the fact that I had pulled a weapon had set him in protective mode, but Christian just gave his knowing smile and I gestured to the bar. "Your entourage going to be okay with leaving you for two seconds? They seem awful clingy."

"Yeah, one is kind of my protector," and my eyes fell on Dean, "the other is mine!"

"Wait, let me guess, the shorter one," and I stopped. Why was everyone pegging me with Dean? I growled.

"Actually no, Sam and I are together. Dean, well, he's a little more complicated." I answered and the two of us walked into the bar. Finding a seat, Danni waved at Tally, who brought over a couple shots, sitting them down in front of me.

"Still your poison?" She asked and I smiled.

"Always," I answered and threw one back, before letting the burn cover the feelings of Dean's emotions. The residual effects of being too close to the Winchester left me raw and even the second one didn't dull it. "So how are we doing this? Want to play 20 Questions?"

"I'm always up for a good game of twenty questions you know that." Danni smiled and both of us looked up at the door as Christian walked in followed by Dean and Sam trailing up the pack. Sam gave me a nod, Dean glanced between me and Danni before he headed towards the bar probably looking for something stronger than a beer, and Christian just leaned back putting an elbow on the counter as he watched over the two of us. "So who goes first?"

"You know how this goes, it's either rock/paper/scissors or big sister goes first." I smiled as I grabbed the shot that was sitting in front of me. Third one's always a charm right? "So what do you want to know?"

"There's a lot of things I want to know Ali, the first one that comes to mind is what the hell are you doing here?" I smile that this because she was completely serious, right down to that narrowed, protective stare in her blue eyes. "And does Jimmy know you're here?"

"Like I said before, yeah, Cas knows I'm here," I laughed as I looked over at the bar and signaled Tally to bring me another round. "He sent me here, he told me to come and find you."

"How are you even functioning?"

"I got better, I remembered. I know reality from fiction now Danni, that's how I'm functioning, I finally got everything together, I got my head straight and I know exactly where I'm supposed to be. Right here sitting with you with those three boys doing what they do best."

"Okay, so let's say that I believe you, that Jimmy knows that you're here," Danni watched as Tally set the full glasses down and took the empty ones before she continued. "When did you start hunting?"

"The same time you did, when Wayne died." And I watched her face pale, as she sat back, the anger rolling up on her lips as she glanced away. I knew not to push it but there was just some things that she needed to know, which was the truth, and the fact that I knew exactly what happened in Oklahoma.

"What the hell do you know about that, you can't know about that!" She snapped and shook her head.

"I know he was killed by a demon Danni, hell he was possessed by demon! But that's not how it went down, that's not how it's supposed to be. The truth is you remember it wrong."

"How do you know exactly how I remember it? You weren't there!"

"Actually, I was, no matter how much you think differently I really was."

"You were in a coma in Ohio, you were not in my backyard, you did not see what I had to do my husband! Don't tell me that you were there when you clearly weren't."

I sat back in my chair and rub my forehead for just a second before I took a deep breath, Gathering my strength because this was going to get messy.

"What do you remember about June 21st?" I started the questions all over again, because the train that this previous one was on was headed for a collision course with a wall, and I wasn't ready for impact just yet. Watching her swallow, I could see the emotions welling up in her eyes, and she snagged one of my shots Downing it quickly before snagging the next and tipping that back too. Yeah this was going to be one of those kind of nights. "You know I wouldn't ask these questions unless they were important Danni and I'm not trying to be a bitch but this is how it has to be done."

"What has to be done? What are you fishing for?"

"Are you purposely avoiding my questions? I mean seriously Danni, avoidance is one of your Specialties but right now I need you to focus and give me the answers that I need."

"You know, Al, I'm happy that you're here I really am, but this can't end anyway but badly."

"That's just it, it has to end. You need to know the truth and that's what I need to tell you."

"The truth?" She laughed sarcastically and cross their arms over a chest, "the truth is I have spent the last five months alone, because a demon... _a demon_ , killed my husband! Do you even know how that feels?"

"If I told you I was sitting right there when it happened, you wouldn't believe me anyway! So just answer the damn question! What do you remember about June 21st?"

"I remember walking out on you okay! That what you want to hear, that I've been guilt-ridden since the moment I stepped foot out of that hospital, since I decided that walking out of your life would probably be the best thing for me! Instead of sitting there by my sister's side, I couldn't handle what was going on, so I walked away! I walked away from you Ali, so why are you even here now, you should be more than pissed off at me! You should be so livid that you never want to see my face again, and trust me I'm having a hard time looking at myself lately."

"Well, here's the difference between us, Dan," I said leaning forward, "you're not me, and no matter what you've done in the last few months, I know that you needed to get away I know that it was too much and I'm not going to hold it against you."

"So you're forgiving me? Is that it? Is that what this is all about? Are you on some sort of _I remember me so let's forgive my siste_ r trip?" She stood from the table the chair clacking back against the wall and she turned to head out of the bar.

With a sigh I stood follow her, glancing at Sam as I raise my hand to have him in Dean stay put, but it was Christians concern that caught me. And I knew that there was more than friendship between them. I followed swiftly to where Danni stood at the edge of the darkness, of where the parking lot faded into a shallow wooden area. And she paced back and forth, like a lioness ready to pounce. She glanced up at me, shook her head and continued her stressed movements.

"Okay, so let's try this out here I guess." I said softly trying to approach her with some caution. "Let me explain a little bit of but I've been going through. While you've been living in a reality for the last few months, this hunting, with Christian and Jo," and I watched her eyes go wide at the mention of the woman who owned Harvelle's. "Yeah I know about Jo, Sammy remember?" But that was when I got that look, "that's right Sammy doesn't exist in your world."

"Sammy who?" She snapped. "You mean the tall guy in the bar? What does he have to do with me?"

"I'll get to that topic later! Just do me a favor, tell me what you remember about the 21st, not about how you left me not about how you feel, just what you remember."

Danni drew in a deep breath, she knew I wasn't going to give up on this line of questioning, and she just decided that she was going to give in.

"Well, at least I know you're feeling better, because you are as stubborn and pig-headed as ever! But yeah the 21st, I remember walking out of the hospital." And her voice calmed to a low whisper, and her eyes darken does she remembered. "I walked out, I cross the parking lot, and I got into the Escape. You were ranting about something going on in Virginia. It was you, me, and Cas." And she paused a moment, looked at me as if I might have suggested something to her, but then she shook her head. "And, yeah you mentioned that Sam and Dean were there too!"

"I figured as much." But I left my comment at that, and watched her shake her head. "Just keep going will sort out those details later."

"Yeah, so you are on this thing about Virginia, about how we were fighting some sort of demons and how you and I were linked by some blades," Danni shrugged it off as she started to pace once more, her arms going from the defensive position cross in front of her to being stuck in the pocket of the jeans. "I turn that car on and I drove, but the next thing I remember, I was sitting in The Stang, in front of Harvelle's Roadhouse in Ohio, on the way home. Summerford was probably maybe six minutes from London, from where you had gotten into your accident but I couldn't stay in that town not knowing it had put you there, not knowing that I had lost you in that spot."

"You didn't lose me Danni, I was right there the whole time."

"You're not supposed to meet your sister for the first time while she's laying in a hospital bed in a medicated coma! You're not supposed to meet your sister for the first time while the swelling in her brain is going down, and the first words out of her mouth, should not have been about hunting and demons." I watched the tears flow down her cheek as she quickly wiped it away. "So, you'll have to excuse me while I tell you that that was where I lost my sister."

There was no arguing with her, not yet, she needed to know the reality of it, but she needed to vent her own reality, and I needed to know just what she remembered.

"Okay, so Harvelle's? You walk into the joint in what, hook up with Christian," I watched her roll her eyes and that made me smile, "ah, nope you hook up with Jo." The way her eyes went wide when I said it me laugh, because I don't think she truly got that no matter what she did, I would fully understand. "Now Jo," I smiled at her, "Jo I would totally get!"

Danni huffed at me, but she also gave that little bit of smile that made me realize that there was more to Jo than just a hookup. "Jo kind of took me under her wing, I was a little lost when I and I got there, I was a little confused and dazed, I just left you and here I was at a hunter's bar. Hunters, people I had never worked with before, and suddenly I had two partners. Christian would go out with me on hunts, Jo would be my phone call if and when I needed one, but they were always a place to come back to."

"Yeah, I get that!"

"How? How exactly do you get that, as far as I know Ali, you have never been on a hunt in your life!"

"Danni, you have missing pieces, pieces of your own reality important pieces that I need you to understand are real." She stopped and turned to me her eyes glaring, "I know it's going to sound insane and absurd, and probably twelve kinds of crazy, but it's real. Whatever I told you about Virginia, whatever I ranted about from April, it's all real. You just don't remember."

"So, tell me what you know." She Shrugged, and looked at me as if she expected me to just rattle off everything, but I had to smile and look at the bar, as I watch Dean step out and lean against the pole his arms crossed as he watched us intensely.

"I know a whole lot more than you think, my rantings weren't exactly nutcase material. They were just, well we weren't exactly remembering things the way they were supposed to be."

"What do you mean? Ali you were buckets of crazy going on and on about things that you should not have known about, that I should never have known about! And Cas, I mean Jimmy, he was the one that was holding you down, keeping you grounded and now he's just letting you go, with that one?" Pointing at Dean, "he looks dangerous, he looks deadly. And he a God damn Hunter, trust me those are the worst kind!"

"Oh, you don't know that one, not yet!" I grinned as I turned to look at Dean, and then back at her. "Trust me when I say that he's one of the good ones, he's one of the ones that you want to have your back, him and his brother."

"So Cas? Jimmy? Listen I know this is going to sound absolutely insane, but there's a possibility that they're the same person?" She asked me and I smiled, "no freaking way!"

"What is Supernatural in your world?" And she looked at me oddly.

"You mean the television show Supernatural?" And I nodded, because you know what other show would I be talking about? "It's just a stupid fantasy, Syfy based show about an angel and a demon, who go around the country and fight monsters."

"Just a demon and an angel? Like Cas and Crowley?"

"How do you know about Crowley?"

"Oh, I know a lot more about Crowley than I care to admit! In fact if I could stab him with a demon blade I would!" I smiled softly but she shook her head. "So you know Cas?"

"Yeah I," she paused and shook her head as she looked up at the sky, as if she were ashamed even admit what was about to come out of her mouth, "I know Castiel the angel."

"And I know Castiel the angel/Jimmy." I answered and shrugged, which got her to look at me wide-eyed. "See, Cas or Jimmy, is the one that's been taking care of me for the last few months, like I said before he's kind of the one that sent me on this journey, so your angel and mine, same person."

"The same winged douchebag that's been screwing with my life for the last two months? That's your Jimmy?"

"Yeah," I smiled, "I guess you could say that."

I watched her walk further out into the distance away from the bar and she held out her hands as she looked up to the sky.

"God dammit Cas! Get down here before I pluck your feathered ass!" I grinned widely as I watched her look around, but I heard the sound of his wings, felt the rush of his energy, and turned back towards the bar before hearing her gasp when she turned to look at me. "Son of a bitch!"

"Hello Danni," Cas said in his gravelly voice and I did nothing but smile like an ass as he turned to me locking those blue eyes on mine, and opened his arms. I heard his soft voice whisper, "Ali!" And I was in his embrace. His hands cupped my cheek and he kiss me solidly on the lips, an old habit that he hadn't gotten out of yet. Before he broke away and smiled at me. "You found her!"

"Yeah no thanks to you!" I snapped back at him with a smile on my face but we both turned as Danni step forward, and within a second of moving back, her hand swung, and she slapped him wholeheartedly across the cheek. "Jesus Christ!"

"You've been with my sister the whole time?" Danni asked them and Cas reached up to touch the darkening spot on his cheek.

"I didn't think you would recognize me." Cas admitted. "I didn't intend for you to put me and the show together so fast."

"You didn't intend for me to find out anything!" Danni said as she poked him in the chest.

Cas rolled his eyes looking up at the sky as she continued to poke at him before lowering his head and raising a hand to hers, "please stop, that hurts!"

"You've been with my sister the whole time!" Danni snapped, "and just because you were taking care of her, doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on you! You have popped in on me on more than one occasion Cas, there was no reason for you not to tell me any part of this!"

"Actually there was a very good reason." He stated as he looked down at me. "But I'm sure you haven't gotten to that point yet."

"Yeah, we kind of just started with the whole Supernatural deal," I said shaking my head, "so throwing in the whole memory loss thing kind of put a wrench in everything." I patted him on the stomach a gesture he glowered at because I knew how much he hated it. "Danni and I just need some time to sort some things out. You happen to be one of them."

"Is there anything I can do to help you?" Cas whisper softly to me, but that's when Danni let out of huff.

"Yeah, you can start by explaining this crap!" She snapped.

"I think it would be best if you discovered that on your own," Cas replied, taking my hands in his, as he looked down at me. "Ali, there's some things that I need to take care of, but if you need me just call."

"I always need you Cas!" I smile and he kissed my forehead before he disappeared.

"That got absolutely nothing accomplished!" Danni growled as she crossed her arms and looked at me. "So Jimmy is Cas, and Cas is Castiel, anything else you want to surprise me with?"

I bit my lip as I turned and looked at Dean who is standing in the same spot, his eyes a little wider do to the fact that the angel had just popped in and popped out, before I left it back at Danni.

"I really think you need to read my journal." I said and smile.

"And I think I need another drink." Danni walked past me, headed to the bar, but she stopped not more than three feet from Dean and looked up into his eyes. I followed by just to see what the interaction was going to be, and I listened as she leaned in close. "Listen Winchester, you hurt her, and you're little Dean no longer exist!"

My smile widened as much as his eyes did, and I shook my head. Yep, for as much as she had been through, Danni hadn't changed at all.

With the pool stick in hand, I leaned over the table to set up my shot. Christian stood at the end of it, leaning against the wall as he watched Danni, who was sitting alone at the table. My gaze went up as Dean made his way over with a beer and from what I got from the lip reading was he asked if he could sit down. Smiling, I shook my head and went back to what I was doing.

"Think she'll be okay?" Christian asked as he pushed off the wall and leaned on the table where I glanced up at him.

"Six ball, corner pocket," I announced and let it rip, making him move his fingers as the ball basically bounced off the side where his tips curled onto the green. He sneered at me as he moved back and I winked. "You're kidding right, this is Danni, Chris. You've been around her long enough to know, this isn't going to kick her down."

"I've been around her long enough to know something is up with her. You know she's not all there, right?" He whispered as he leaned in close, "there are days when she is completely off her rocker."

"We're all a little mad here, Chris, most of the best people are," I grinned and he rolled his eyes.

"Okay, Alice, tell me one thing, have you ever seen her do that thing with her hands?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I've seen her do lots of things with hands, a few things, i would love to forget, but yeah, not catching what you're throwing, Hatter." I replied and pushed him away from my cue ball. "So, wanna English for me for just a little bit?"

"It's weird, like a light," he sighed, and leaned in close to my ear, "almost like an angel."

I paused in my effort to find the right angle and turned my head to look at him. It's a good thing we had become comfortable in each other's personal space because he was just close, and his eyes went to my lips before settling on my blue ones again.

"Like a glow?" I asked and he gave a slight nod. "Yeah," I whispered, thinking back to the time that she had pressed her hand against me, letting the bluish light fill me with warmth and take the pain away. "I know about that"

"Well, it's getting more intense." He growled, concerned for his friend and I put the end of the stick down on the floor, standing up to look at him as he went to his full height, "I'm not kidding, Porter, something's wrong."

"I'll figure it out," I sighed and I watched his eyes glance up behind me before he leaned in close.

"See that you do!" He ordered through clenched teeth before he moved away, and I felt a hand wrap around me. I smiled as the massive hand encircled my waist before Sam pulled me back against him.

"Can I be the jealous boyfriend now?" He growled against my ear and I couldn't help the smile on my face as I turned in his arms.

"Only if you take me out to the car and do what you did last night in a jealous boyfriend kind of way," I teased and watched the mischief flash in his eyes, his hands going to both my hips while he pulled me close.

"I can do that," he leaned in and his lips brushed mine, moving me backwards into the darkness of the corner near the pool table, a little spot where we would never be seen as I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Or I could do that right here."

"No, sir, Lover Boy, unlike you, I don't share." I teased and just before his lips claimed mine again, I caught a snippet of the conversation at the table with Dean and Danni.

"So, a vampire walks into a bar…"

"Seriously?" Dean snickered, and I knew they were exchanging war stories but I could hear the laughter in his voice, "That's really what you're going with?"

What happened next in their world was drowned out by the feeling of Sam's lips on mine.


	90. DH Remembrance - 24

**Chapter 24**

The Impala

There are a few things in life that you can count on, at least with the Winchesters. One would be that you would always wake up wrap and strong arms if you were with Sam, the other was knowing that when you were laying in the backseat of Baby and only thing you smelled was the mixed scents of that interior, you knew just how safe you were. And then there was this one other thing that you could count on. Always.

You see this thing, his name was Dean and no matter how far away he was, he always had to know that his brother was safe. So how did I not find it odd that when I open my eyes, with Sam wrapped around me and over me, that I would find Dean perched with his back against the driver's side door, arms crossed, eyes closed and head back against the glass. He wasn't sleeping, I could tell by the way his chest move, and the fact that his eyes popped open when I moaned and stretched.

Gazing over the seat at me without actually moving from the spot he was comfortable in, Dean ran his eyes down the length of my body well mine and Sam's, and suddenly I could feel the warmth in my cheeks as I noticed the familiar warmth against my skin.

"Get a good look?" I asked him as he smiled and shook his head.

"Honey, how the hell do you think you got that blanket on you?" He grinned and I look down at the trustee blanket that he had kept folded up over the cooler.

Rolling my eyes, I kept thinking to myself: okay, this could go one of two ways. either I could be angry and upset at Dean for covering us both up, or I could be angry and upset at Dean for possibly sneaking a peek at me while he was covering me, up but I couldn't be either.

Dean was just protecting the both of us and I know that he wouldn't do anything that would compromise any part of our relationship to a point. I decided not to even bother to ask when he had climbed in and notice the two of us in the backseat.

But I did ask instead, "why aren't you with Danni?"

So the night before had gone really well, Dean had somehow found the courage to walk up to the woman and sit down with her, though I could tell it scared the hell out of him, and yeah, no much did. Danni and Dean had hit it off sometime around closing time and I thought for sure that I wouldn't be seeing the older Winchester for at least several hours after I woke up, so Sam and I had taken the Impala pulled it in the back parking lot, and decided to settle down ourselves, of course that led from one thing to another and I found myself in the backseat Sam's legs and body covering most of mine. Now that was when the Dean come in.

"Here's the deal," he said gruffly, "Danni doesn't remember me, and what I've got from yesterday pretty intense, so there's no way I'm going there with her not now. Besides as soon as she decided that our little shot-for-shot challenges over, she headed back to the hotel with Christian and the two of them were sharing a room."

I smiled, I knew exactly what he was talking about, the fear that Christian had taken his girl, but I knew differently and I couldn't help but let that grin grow

"I wouldn't worry too much about Christian and Danni doing anything." I tried not to laugh as he looked at me oddly. "Do you know she has a thing for Jo right?" His head whipped around quickly and he roll his eyes.

Sure enough, he was completely oblivious to the fact that Danni had been talking about the girl all evening, while avoiding Dean's eyes. I was pretty sure there was something there in Danni's memory, maybe a little bit of Dean that she remembered, that was triggering her to avoid looking into his green eyes altogether.

"So anyway can we move on with this?" He asked as he glanced down at me again staring at my bare arms and shoulders as I pulled the blanket up to cover my chest. not that it was exposed before but this was Dean and he catching a glimpse of skin that it could.

"What? you want me to get up now and go to breakfast? I laughed at him as I felt Sam's hand caressing my stomach under the there was no way I was moving now. "I see two problems here, Winchester," I smiled at him, "one being I'm naked, and to your brother's bare assed and lying right behind me. So, please explain to me how you expect me to get up for breakfast. Especially with you sitting in the front seat!"

"I'm not leaving." He gave me a wicked grin and I shook my head again, this getting a hum from Sam as I push my body back against them. But Dean had heard the noise, closed his eyes tightly for a second, and dip down lower in the seat. "You know what? You guys are killing me! I can't be in this car with the two of you like that! You can't expect me to not go back to the whole thing of Sam sharing."

"It was a joke Dean," Sam said from behind me, his voice deep with sleep and I watch the older brother's eyes snap over to the one's that I assumed were now opened behind me. "She's right, can't get changed with you in the car."

"What about that neat thing she does with the towel, you know put her bra on underneath it, pull on her jeans…" And then he stopped. I saw his jaw clenched and I smiled the images apparently were attacking him and he rolled his eyes. I can just imagine what was going on in his mind and he glared at me with sex-laden eyes, but full of fierce determination that he wasn't going to react. "Okay okay, I get it I'm getting out, you to get dressed I want coffee!"

And with that the door to the Impala kicked open, and Dean shuffled out standing, with his back to the glass, as his hands went deep into the pockets of the jeans.

"That was mean you know," I said to Sam as the man curled up against me more, pressing his morning excitement against me and I moaned. "Do you think if we start rocking the car he'll notice?"

Sam moved my hair from my ears, placing his stubble cheek against mine. and I could feel his breath brush over my face. "Not if we move really, really slow."

I felt this hand glide from my stomach to my waist and then slowly down over my ass until his fingers slipped between my legs. I gave him a shiver as I felt his tip pressed against me and slowly he pressed forward, entering me just a little. I close my eyes, bit my lip and tried my best not to make any noise as he kept moving, slowly gliding in and out, but just a little bit until Dean banged on the door. Yeah he knew exactly what was going on here and with that Sam stilled. Dean turned and gave him a dirty look.

"You are not doing that in my car while I'm standing right here!" The two brothers locked eyes and all I can do is smile pushing back on Sam taking him and completely and moaned. "Jesus Christ! I'm going to go find something to shoot."

And with that Dean walked away. Sam's lips brushed my cheek as he laughed quietly, but his arm, the one that I was using for a pillow, came around and he cupped my breast as he pulled me in closer, wrapping his arms around my waist as well. His hips moved with a gently sway, still wanting to keep the challenge of not rocking the car, but it was that slow torture that I craved.

"Do you want my brother?" he whispered in my ear, and I whimpered as I heard it, because it wasn't what he asked but the seductive sound of his voice that had my body going into a full-on shiver. "Do you want Dean here?" His finger dipped lower and flicked at that one sensitive spot and I took in a sharp breath as I dug my nails into his hip. "Oh, what the two of us could do to you."

"Stop!" I growled, and I wasn't kidding because as he said those words, the memories of a time when I stood outside my body, watching Dean, listening to the demon in the voice flooded in.

" _You could have come in your own suit, you didn't need to hijack Ali." Dean stated, bracing his footing the closer that the demon got._

" _Oh but you don't know just how fun it is to be inside her head," it smiled, and it was just as evil of a smile as it could get before it was on top of Dean, the strength of it sending the man back against the wall. "You should hear the thoughts she's has about you and your brother. Mmm, saucy little thing isn't she?"_

 _The demon closed the distance between them, its mouth a breath away from Dean's who was struggling to breath as the demon squeezed his throat. I watched their eyes make contact and the demon tilted its head._

 _The demon smiled, brushed its lips, my lips, against Dean's. The demon backed away and grinned as Dean held his eyes tightly closed. "See, even you have those thoughts."_

" _So, call me a typical guy, it happens." Dean snapped and struggled against the hand that held him. "It doesn't change what Ali is to me and I swore that I would protect her, now you can either get out of her or I can make you, your choice."_

" _I think I might stick around inside for a bit, maybe head back to the motel, try out that moose of a brother of yours, before moving on, or maybe, I'll just start with you."_

Sam had stopped moving, staying completely still as I found that I was lost in the memory before I pulled away from him and turned quickly in the seat, my hand coming up to his cheek as the tears flowed from me. Sam grabbed my hip, tugging me closer as his arms went protectively around me, the mood darkened and I shook my head.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, tucking my head under his chin as his hand went to the back of my head, his fingers running over my scalp, sending calming tingles through me as he sighed.

"No, I am, I shouldn't have said that about Dean, I know how close the two of you are," he said softly, "you know I remember everything, Ali, everything until I grabbed you for Virginia."

"I know, Sam, I know," I wrapped my leg over his, as if the touch of his body wasn't close enough. "I think I did some terrible things, some really, nasty things."

"What did you see?" he asked as his finger traced under my chin, tipping my head back so I could look at him. "What memory could you have possibly gotten from me asking you about Dean?"

"I don't know what happened in June, but I wasn't myself, and I think a demon got in," my body shook with the confession and his eyes darkened.

"What did it make you do?" I had never see the possessiveness in his eyes as they changed to a hunter green color.

"Nothing, I think I kicked it out before it happened, but it was talking about both of you," I blinked back the tears as his thumb caressed my cheek, brushing against the wetness.

"Ali, demon's… they lie, it's what they do." he spoke softly as if to not upset me more but I shook my head, not to contradict him but because I don't think this one was lying, I think it was using some twisted version of the truth to get to me, to get to Dean. Not that I wanted him, but that I had a need for Dean. "This will all work out, okay," he said softly, and kissed my forehead before doing it lightly on my lips. "It will all be okay."

There was a knock on the glass above our heads making us both tilt out head back to look at the annoyed face of the older Winchester. Dean's expression was one of _you're not ready yet?_ With a little bit of _give me a break_ , before he shook his head and turned around. This time he wasn't taking walking away for an answer, we needed to get dressed.

The Church Street Diner in Carthage was a small breakfast nook that seemed to suite the five of us well, Giving us a corner booth, I sat on the inside next to Dean, with Sam situated across from me, and Danni across from him as Christian swung a chair around and found himself a spot at the end next to the cousin that wasn't glaring at him with daggers, but I had a feeling that's why I was locked in the corner between them, for Sam's sanity and Christian's safety.

I looked up at Sam over the menu, our earlier conversation about the memory had him in a protective mode that he couldn't shake, especially with the fact that I didn't remember how the demon got in, or how long it had taken to get it out. More so, I think it bothered him that I had no idea what it did in the meantime. His blue-green eyes, sparkled as they flickered over to Dean, who's shoulder rubbed harmlessly against mine before I cleared my throat, and just gave him a look before those eyes went back to the tablet in front of him.

"So, what are you working on?" Dean questioned, breaking the tension that was growing at the quiet table as everyone prepared their coffee, but Danni looked up at Christian before glancing at me. Yeah she still didn't trust Dean and that might be an issue. I raised a brow, gave her the nod to go ahead and spill and she looked down, putting butter on her bagel as she looked up at the green-eyed man through her lashes. "I mean, Christian said you might not be here for very long, more like a stick and run, but what's got you hung up?"

"Well, for one, all the victims were male," Danni replied, her voice doing that _if you really must know_ kind of tone and I couldn't help the small smile that crossed my face. "So, that give us a bunch of options."

"That's all that you got?" he smiled, and I listened to her drop the knife, slowly putting my cup down so that I could jump intervene at any moment, you know like the instance when a sharp, shiny object went flying.

"I said _were males_ , didn't say they stayed that way by the time I got to them." She shrugged and this had Sam looking up towards his brother, brows creased with curiosity as Danni took a drink of her coffee. Christian just hung back and smiled at the collection of minds before him. "When we got there, they weren't more than a pile of ash."

"Ash?" Sam questioned, his expression going to one of _that's a new one_ and he picked at the muffin in front of him.

"Ash, like from a chimney?" I questioned and watched her nod.

"How did you know they were males then?" Dean questioned curiously.

"Let's just say that those specific indicators weren't exactly included with the rest of the body," she answered and Dean sat back, his eyes going wide as his mouth formed that "oh" as in, yeah, he was getting a pretty good picture. "So, we matched DNA with the ash to the part and wallah, instant male."

"That's… creative," the older Winchester replied. "Well, at least you know you're not dealing with a specter or some really pissed off spirit." He shrugged, "last time I saw anything turned to ash, it had managed to set the body on fire but that included the bed it was on."

"Spontaneous combustion," I added and went back to the pancakes the waitress had given me, before noticing Dean staring me down. I turned my vision up to him as I cut into the pancake and shrugged. "What?"

"You know that doesn't happen right? The body can't spontaneously do anything remotely close to catching itself on fire." I smiled up at him, raised a brow and took a bit of the pancake. "Besides, what kind of creature wants to lop off a man's funpole before reducing him to a pile of chimney dirt?"

"The pissed off and revengeful kind," Danni smiled and I nodded, but I could suddenly feel Sam's hand on my knee under the table and I looked up at him. Something about the statement had made him uneasy, and I returned the touch in kind, because I knew just where his mind was going. "So this is what I got. In the last week four men have gone missing, four piles of ash and their detachable parts have been located, the problem is, we don't know what or who the monster is that could do that."

"Anything found at the scene, besides the wayward body part?" Dean continued with the little references without actually using the word penis and I nearly choked on my food. He turned to me and patted me on the back. "You okay, Kid?"

"Are you afraid of the word?" I laughed at him, finally catching my breath.

"What word?"

"Penis, seriously, you guys are dicking around the word with these little catch phrases, as funny as they might be, but you're adults, you're aloud to say penis." I grinned at him sarcastically.

"Okay," Dean huffed, "Penis," but I watched him stop and kind of grimace as if there was a bad taste in his mouth. "Nah, I don't like it. Let's go back to what we were doing?"

"Seriously, are you two?" I questioned and Danni put the knife down, watching with interest at the familiar way the two of us talked to each other. "So, penis tastes bad on your tongue, but you'll go with wayward body part… because why?"

"We're in a diner," Dean stated in all seriousness, "one with church in the name, Ali."

"Oh my God, are you going to be struck down because of your use of the english language or is it just funnier in Enochian?" I watched as Sam cracked a grin as the two of us managed to keep the conversation to a pretty consistent pitch. Christian shook his head, took the mug from the table as Dean turned, almost knocking it over. "I bet you won't rattle off the name of every body part like that."

"You want me to go into an anatomy discussion right now?" He grinned and his green eyes locked on mine

"Oh, come on, Mr. Yale, you can't tell me you don't know something about anatomy." I joked but then realized my mistake.

"Oh, I know plenty about anatomy, baby." I slapped him on the arm. "What was that for?"

"Don't call me baby!" I replied back, in all seriousness and he glanced at Danni, who just gave him a _don't look at me for help, you did this_ kind of way. "Now, are you going to man up or what?"

"Okay, fine!" He said and leaned in close to my ear, whispered off every word for semen that he could come up with at a seductive snail's pace and as he did so, my eyes were locked on Sam's because Dean's hand was at the base of my neck, the pad of his finger twirling in one spot, sending shocks through me. But there was one word that caught me, one that made me shiver in disgust. "Milt."

"Eww!" I snapped and turned my head, locking eyes with him.

"Oh, that's ew?" he replied back, but his hand hadn't moved. "Of all the things I just said to you, that's what you ew at?"

"Where the hell did you get that word?" I questioned and he sat back, looking down at his food.

"It's a synonym for it, look it up," he snarked and finally removed his hand as he sat straight, grabbed his mug and took a drink as if he had just won the world series, but with the word, came the visuals and I slowly pushed the plate away, especially as the butter melted on the pancakes. Without skipping a beat, Dean continued the conversation with Danni. "So crispy fried man and a wandering Roman, what do all of these… stiffs, have in common?"

"So not funny!" I mumbled, got over my queaziness and tugged my plate back, catching Sam's eye as I reached for my coffee.

"So totally is," Dean mumbled just loud enough that I could hear him and suddenly Sam's legs were blocking mine from kicking his brother.

"Is it always like this with these two?" Danni questioned, leaning towards Sam and the younger Winchester just smiled before he leaned in a little closer, and I could see the strange spark of connection.

"Worse," he grinned but his eyes only rested on mine, as Danni patted him on the shoulder.

"You poor man!" And I looked at her as if she were nuts. "So, onto the case at hand, no, there were no connections between the men and as far as I can tell, nothing like this has ever happened in this part of the state before."

"This part of the state?" Sam spoke up glancing at her, "it's happened in other parts?"

"1979 in Syracuse, about fifty people died in two months, the problem was when we dug deeper into the archives, we found that while most of them actually were fire-related, some of them were just our kind of related." Christian spoke up this time and I watched Sam almost bite his tongue off to keep from saying _who asked you_ but Christian just continued. "Before that there were smaller incidences across the state, but none that would have grabbed a hunter's attention."

"Or the Men of letters at the time if it were before 1954," I added and watched the boys look at me, "hey, I know my history."

"What were some of the towns?" Sam asked.

"Ah, Clay and Greenwich, if I remember right, but those were just a few years before, there are older ones." Danni sighed.

"So you got no connection, no pattern, and a pile of ash." I finished the last of the pancake that I had in front of me before I push the plate away one final time. It must have been a cue for the waitress to come over because as soon as I did this, she was behind me reaching over my shoulder. Though not suspicious by nature, I couldn't help but feel this strange vibe from her. Turning in my seat I watched her walk away, I felt a hand rest against my thigh, and I glanced over at Dean, before I turn back to Sam and Danni. "So my question would be what did they do before they disintegrated?"

Sam's curious look was one that I knew well, and he started tapping away at the tablet before he cleared his throat and looked up, the waitress now filling are half empty coffee mugs as a refresher before she walked away. Again I found myself watching her move and I realized that there was just a strange vibe that was coming off of her. Danni looked at me oddly, before I shook my head, grabbed my bag under the table, and took out my journal.

"What are you doing?" Chris asked quietly. I just shook my head wave my hand as I grab my pen, and open to in blank page, hoping that they would continue with what they were talking about and ignore what I was writing down.

"So get this," Sam whispered as he sat forward on the table bringing the tablet into the middle of it so that everyone can see. "It looks like they were all in town for business meetings, or at least in general area for some sort of meetings, they weren't from anywhere around here, and came from Chicago, Dallas, St Louis, and Salt Lake City."

"And that's weird how?" Danni questioned.

"Major cities," Sam replied, "with absolutely no reason to be in a small town like Carthage New York."

"What companies did they work for?" I spoke up, without taking my eyes off and paper as I scribbled down the images that were flashing through my mind.

"Um," Danni hummed as she grabbed a file folder from her bag, "looks like one was in trading, one was in plastics, one did statistical research, and the last one was a window salesman."

This got me to look up and I watched Dean mouth the words _window salesman_ before he whistled and went back to finish the food in front of him. I shook my head sat back and looked at the drawing in front of me, before I turned and glanced over at the waitress, who was eyeing our table suspiciously. Dean elbowed me, shaking me back to reality as I glanced at the four of them.

"You think we could pay the bill and split?" I asked with a bit of rush to my tone, and Sam's concerned gaze rested on me but I only gave him a smile and a small shrug. "Anxiety is kicking in, I got to get out of the building." I explained but I knew that he didn't believe me just by the look on his face, but he nodded anyway. "Okay so I'll meet you outside!"

With that, I pushed the chair back, collected my bag and book and bolted for the door. I was standing at the end of the Impala when I heard the door squeak again and the sound of the bell against the glass made me look up, to see Danni walking towards me, anger on her face.

I put my hands up to stop her, as her hands came up and her arms opened to take me in an embrace. "Please don't!" And I watched her halt in her tracks. "Look Danni, I know you don't get this, but I'm not that fragile person you think I am. I'm not going to fall apart because we're looking into a case and I'm certainly not going to melt into a pile of useless bones because of an anxiety attack. I actually don't even have one."

"So you lied?" She snapped, the concern turning to a little bit of annoyance. "What the hell Ali? Why would you lie about something like that?"

"Because I knew it would get me exactly what I wanted, you coming out here to check on me." And with that everything that was written on her face changed. "Look, I know you don't think I've been doing this for a long time, but I've been hunting for just as long as you have. I know some things and yeah they're kind of strange, but they get the job done."

"You know some things? What kind of things could you possibly know?" I watched her side step with annoyance and just give her a small shake in my head. "And what's with you and Dean?"

"Okay, let's address one thing at a time," I barked as I place the bag on the back of the Impala. "One, there's nothing with me and Dean, and once you start remembering the truth you'll know that! Two yeah what I know, that's a little harder to explain."

"Try me!" I watched her cross her arms, in a _I'm not moving till you tell me_ kind of way and I could do nothing but comply.

"Okay, for a start, you're dealing with a phoenix." I waited, watched her shift in her position, and then clench your teeth in frustration. "And now your next question, is going to be how exactly do I know that."

"Yeah, that was kind of the thought I had going," she growled, "so are you going to explain it or not?"

"I'll explain it, but isn't going to be easy to hear." Danni stepped up to me closing the distance but keeping her arms crossed, which I found kind of amusing because this woman, was anything but intimidating to me I knew her inside and out, but I knew she had also been through some rough times so I wouldn't put it past her swinging. "Danni, it's not going to be fun, but once you remember once we all remember, we can get past some of whatever is between us, whatever is between you and Dean! And I know you can feel it because you keep avoiding him. As for knowing what we're chasing, that's a little more difficult."

"One," she stated looking back at the boys as they stepped out of the restaurant, "there's nothing between Dean and I, and two, you've been difficult since I've met you so why would now be any different?" She gave me a little smirk as she said this and I relaxed and she slipped an arm around my shoulder, and move me away from the parked car. "Now tell me what the hell is going on!"

"Since I woke up, since this last time that Cas wasn't able to keep the spell going, I've been seeing something. Dean seen her once, the Sam hasn't seen her at all. He's had marks from her on his chest, but her physical appearance, he hasn't seen that yet. She wants me to remember, and I don't know what she's asking me exactly. I mean I remember almost everything except the details of June."

"You're the one that told me all about June," Danni said confusion on our face, "how is it that you can't remember at all? Not even what you told us in the hospital?"

"Nothing," I whispered, "I get bits and pieces of different memories, but I can't put them together in any way that makes sense, any series of events. The other thing that came with it, is these dreams and these visions of monsters."

"Monsters?" She said in disbelief.

"Yeah you know the crap shit, Boogeyman under your bed, headless horseman in your closet kind of monster! Whatever the boys are hunting, I can see. Which is how I knew you were hunting a phoenix."

"I don't get it, exactly how did you know, I mean you took one look at that waitress and all of a sudden you're scribbling crap down in a book."

"Yeah I know it makes a whole lot of no sense at all but this is how it happens Danni, I just get the visions. I mean they're not nice at all, usually somebody's dead, and I'm the one left holding the bag, but it gives me something to go on."

"So what did I give you this time?" She asked softly as her arm wrapped around my shoulder once again apparently to help control the shaking that I wasn't aware I was doing.

"I don't think you'd get the reference," I said softly and watch as she shrugged.

"Give it a shot, let's see where it goes."

I took a deep breath, "okay so this is what I got, whoever it is, has been around for a very long time. Phoenix don't die. They are reincarnated when they burn up to ashes, essentially you could kill one you know the old-fashioned way, but it's only weaknesses iron, the only way I've ever seen it killed, was by Samuel Colt's magic gun!"

"Okay wait, are you talking about the COLT that Cas uses to try and kill Lucifer?" I wanted to stumble back of it because Cas never used the weapon on the devil, Dean did. But then again I keep forgetting that this is not my timeline, so Season 6 Episode 18 to her would be completely different. "Okay I can see it's giving you a headache so just keep going."

"It's not giving me a headache, it's giving me a pain in the ass!" I stepped away from her touch to rub my temples as I gather what information I needed, from the back of my mind, and decided that rambling would probably be the best bet to get my point across. "Okay season 6, the boys are looking for the Colt, so Cas zaps and back to frontierland, to track down Samuel Colt. Sam manages to get it from him, but while Sam was busy, Dean decided to get involved in a case that involved Phoenix. Guy named Elias was hung for apparently killing his wife, but that's not how it happened. Somebody found out that Elias was a monster and they thought that she was too so yeah. Anyway Sam comes up with the Colts, Dean uses it to kill the Phoenix, but Cas zaps them out before they able to get what they need, which is the actual ashes of the Phoenix."

"Jesus," Danni smile, "what world do you live in again?"

"I know you don't get it okay but this is my Supernatural reality, this is what my boys did or wait, not those boys," and I pointed to the ones that stood around the back of the car, "the ones on the show because in my reality it's not the Cas and Crowley show, it's the Sam and Dean Winchester show! So anyway, as far as we know, the Phoenix only be killed by the Colt, which we don't have, which probably doesn't even exist in the real timeline. The problem is is that what I saw in my vision, Danni, it doesn't end well. Just like every other vision I've had before!"

She walked up to me grasp my shoulders with her hands, and look me deep in the eyes. "I'm going to guess your Visions haven't come true yet, at least not all of it, because those boys are still standing, and so are you. How many monsters is have you fought using these things? These visions?"

"Only a couple, because it started when Dean and I met."

"All right," Danni sighed, "let's go back to the hotel and see if we can't come up with some lore on your Phoenix."


	91. DH Remembrance - 25

Beer for my horses

I looked up when the Mustang roared to life. Sam was standing beside me, Dean had already slipped into Baby and we were about to head back to the motel with Christian and Danni. The best part was they finally had two rooms. So, for the remainder of this playtime it was supposed to be that Danni and I bunked together while the boys figured out their differences. Which was not very likely to happen with the way that Sam had been staring at his cousin all morning, like Tessa the Reaper was ready to claim him. It was actually getting better, but there was no way I believed that the room situation was going to be any different than it was now, which meant I would have both Winchesters to deal with.

When we made it back to the hotel I moved some of my bags into the second room, but just as I was about to turn around and leave, dropping the first in bag by the door so that the Spectrum blade was close, I ran into a wall. Okay, so it wasn't so much of a wall, but a six foot five moose of a man. I never noticed the height difference until right then, when my face was smack dab in the middle of his abdomen.

I put my hand on his chest and pushed myself back so that I could grab his hips and stare longingly up at him. Sam sighed, his fingers coming up to caress my cheek on both sides and he leaned in pressing his lips against my forehead.

"What's wrong Sam?" I whispered as his hands moved from my cheeks and his arms wrapped around me pulling me in tightly.

"What did you hear me say in the car?" He spoke softly. He sat down in the seat behind him, slipped his hands between my thighs from behind and dragged me towards him, letting me straddle his waist, pulling me closer as I sat down.

"Sammy you don't really want to bring that up, do you?" I ran my hands through his hair trying to not let him see that it had upset me just a little that he had caught my little slip into my memory.

"Okay, maybe I don't, but when I mention Dean and it stops you from being with me, it's a little, I don't know, strange."

"Sam," I ran my hands down from his hair to the side of his face, running my thumb over his lips, "I will never want to be with your brother, it's only you. I know that Dean and I have a really weird connection, but it's just not that way."

"So why can't you tell me what you heard me say? I get it, I really do, if a demon said anything along those lines you know they're lying, if that's truly how you feel." I tipped my head up and brushed his lips with mine. Taking a second to gather my strength I let my lips linger a little bit longer until I felt his breath against me.

"You asked me if I wanted him," I whispered softly and pushed back so that I could look into his eyes again, "You asked me if I wanted Dean where you were, inside and then you said something that triggered the memory. You said _oh what the two of us could do to you_."

"I never said that!" Sam said shocked. He sat back a little bit more, putting an uncomfortable distance between us and his hands moved from my neck to take my fingers in his hands. "What I said was, I wish he would go away, that I wanted to be with you without my brother being there. Complete opposite of what you heard. So what happened with the demon?"

"I don't know," I blinked away the tears uncertain as to how to answer him, because I really didn't know. "I didn't understand how Dean and I had gotten to that point to begin with. All I know is that it used almost the same phrasing, something about wanting both of you."

"And you don't. I mean, you don't want both of us right?" I slipped off his lap taking a few steps back shaking my head, but I ran my hands through my hair before crossing my arms. "Ali, talk to me."

"I just don't know what you want me to say or how many times I need to say it, but no I don't want your brother that way." I sat down on the bed and ran my hands over my face. "I'd like to remember everything that happened so I could just get this done and over with. So I'm not in the dark anymore, but I'm afraid Sam, afraid of the truth of what really happened in Virginia."

He came closer, kneeling down between my legs as I sat there on the bed and he ran his hands over my thighs before he circled my waist and and pulled me up against him. I could almost feel every part of him, but I still had to lean back in his arms to look up into his eyes.

"Are you afraid that I won't want you?" I closed my eyes. Yeah, that was what I was truly afraid of because he had already said he wasn't sure that if his vision was real that he would be able to get past it. "Ali, if I know one thing about us, one sure fire thing. We have always been great at this, at keeping each other leveled, grounded… safe."

"And if that truth hurts too deep, what then Sam?" I shook my head, "Losing you again… I don't think I can survive that."

"You're not going to lose me, Ali," his palm cupped my cheek, fingers stretched out behind my head and tangled in what little hair I had back there. Dean had done a great job to leave just enough so that it hung down in front but the back was long enough to grab a handful and I felt his fingers do just that. "Not ever again."

My heart skipped a beat as my brain made the snarky remark of _don't make promises_ , like it was laughing at my pain, but I pushed it back and waited, feeling his warmth against me. God, I needed him and I needed him to finish what he had started that morning, give me some closure to the heat that pooled below my stomach at the very sight of him. No, as much as I loved Dean I would never want him as much as I wanted Sam, but that same thought came back to slap me wondering if I would need Sam just as much as I needed Dean. I growled at my confusion which sparked the lust in Sam's eyes as the man suddenly leaned forward and captured me in a kiss that shook me to the core and I reached up, grasping handfuls of his hair.

Sam was all hands, moving in a frenzy that had me kicking of my jeans in moments as he lifted me at the waist to get them down. His kiss was how I remembered, claiming, passionate and there just to make me forget the rest of the world and it worked because all I could think about, all I wanted to know at that moment, was Sam.

I heard the button from his jeans click open and the zipper fall, but it was my own hands gliding down the long length of his body, over his chest to his hips, that pushed the harsh material away as he leaned his forehead against mine, letting the feel of my skin against his take over him.

He made a noise, not a moan but something in between that and a sigh, when I wrapped my fingers around him gliding up his length slowly teasing the tip before moving back down and I watched, even with how close he was, as he bit his lip. Still gripping him tight, still moving ever so slowly over him, he tugged me down so that I knelt on the floor before him and the only time I let him go was when he grabbed me by the hips and started to turn me.

I smiled as I braced the bed, feeling him mold against me as he slipped inside with ease. I shivered as he filled me and tipped my head back against him while his hand came up and teased through my hair. After a few slow torturous moments, after taking his time to slowly caress the inside of my body with his, he stopped situating himself as close as he could get, blanketing my body with his as his lips came down on my neck.

Sometimes slow and torturous was Sam's thing, other times he had a need that just couldn't be satisfied with taking it easy and this seemed to be that kind of way. I could feel his teeth against my skin, the way that his breath seemed to rush against it when he started to move and suddenly I was riding a high that I hadn't felt in months. One that told me that Sam was in total control of this situation.

He moved like an artist, knowing just how fast, how deep to go to get a reaction out of me and it worked every time, especially when his fingers flicked over the spots he knew would sent shivers down my spine. I reached back and took hold of of his hair, tugging him closer as his lips still branded along my neckline. I needed that little bit of extra, the little tinge of pain and as if he had read my mind his teeth came down upon me, biting gently at the slope.

I'm not sure how long it actually lasted, but it felt like never ending waves of pure pleasure as he suckled at the skin and thrusted against me, pumping until he swelled and I plummeted over the edge and while it might have seemed quick and needed, it wasn't. It went on forever until we were both moaning towards our end and I collapsed with my head on the bed bending over it just enough so that I could catch my breath as Sam's forehead rested between my shoulder blades. I felt his fingers trace the mark he had left and I smiled. There was that familiar feeling I had remembered when Cas had caressed my neck. That _marked, you're mine_ kind of tingle that told me that I was his and while we tried to stay locked in that moment we both knew it wasn't going to last.

"Porter, quit playing with that boy and get out here! We need to talk!" Danni interrupted and I sighed. If it wasn't one older sibling, it was the other.

Sam slowly slipped out leaving me to gasp at the feeling of him hitting that sweet spot once more before leaving me empty and I heard him growl before his lips were against my ear.

"Do that again and we're going for round two. Screw the case." He sighed, but it wasn't much of a threat considering I would definitely be game for it, but I knew that no one outside the room would leave us be. Without replying I continued to lay there, situated on my knees, bare assed and sated until Sam came back and grabbed me around the waist hoisting me up to the bed so this time I was laying bare assed instead of kneeling. "Dammit woman, you really need to put some clothes on."

"Screw the clothes. I'm just gonna lay here."

"Alright so when Dean comes in…" he started, but all that got from me was to reach over, grab a pillow and cover myself up with it. "Oh, yeah that will go over really well. He won't notice at all."

"He doesn't have to look." I replied, smiling as I felt him start to dress me. I tried my hardest not to make any noise that might set him off as I felt the light cotton of my underwear slide under the pillow and I lifted my hips to accommodate him before the rough feel of my jeans followed.

Sam leaned down towards my ear as I did the same with my hips, letting him pull them on, but he left them unbuttoned, his hand going flat to the small of my back and he kissed me softly on the temple.

"I swear you will be my undoing, Ali. I can't concentrate when we're alone. So be prepared, because I'm opening the door and Danni is probably going to come storming in," he sighed. "Stop thinking about the memories, I'm not going anywhere."

"Stop thinking," I smiled and opened my eyes too look at him, "Yeah, easily accomplished when you're so close, but the moment you move..."

"I'll be right outside," he reassured me as his kissed my cheek, patted me lightly on the ass and moved off the bed. I heard the door open and his footsteps walk out, disappearing into the distance as I closed my eyes again.

I felt the bed move, the weight beside me shift and when I opened my eyes I was staring at the bright blue ones of the woman in black and the soft smile on her face turned to a grimace as she suddenly reached out and grabbed me, turning me over as she wrapped her hands around my throat, pinning me to the bed with her weight as she straddled my hips.

She didn't squeeze hard, but her fingers clenched enough to remind me that she was there as I tried to kick out from underneath her. She leaned down enough so that the curtain of her black hair seemed to block out everything around me.

"Remember, Ali, you need to remember." There was no menace in her voice this time, but she leaned down, closing her fingers as she did and just as her lips met mine the air started to cease flowing to my lungs and suddenly I felt as if I were underwater, her kiss the only thing that kept me from drowning.

The images flooded in, like a rush of water filling my lungs, making my head swim with vertigo, but I could see everything. Arriving in Winchester, holding Dean, greeting Danni, the mirror, the house, Sam and the Charger, the blades, Castiel, the evil that took me over. John's death, his funeral, Crowley, but the one thing that seemed to stick out at me was the man. He was evil and light at the same time, he was the darkness that pulled at me and as the memories came back the wall that blocked them out came crumbling down and I felt the fury inside me.

 _Don't scratch at the wall_! Death had said as he walked away, but that was it the wall came crashing down and as I opened my eyes, as her hand released me, I looked up at her smile and noticed the brand on her neck, the light red tattoo that I know I had seen before.

"Who are you?" I managed to squeak out, but that was before the gunshot. The sound echoed through the room and I watched the bullet exit her from the front, a dead shot right to the heart, but all she did was look down at the bloodless hole in her chest, the grin widening on her face.

"You can't escape your destiny," she smirked and suddenly faded away, leaving me to lay there staring at the empty spot where she had been. "You have to go back to where it all started."

"Ali!" Dean's voice broke through the fog as his hands came to my cheek and my eyes focused on his. "Son of a bitch!" he mumbled as he seemed to relax a little crowding my side as he took a hand from me to run it over his face. "What was she doing?"

"I remember," the words barely audible as I stared at him. "I remember it all, Dean," I spoke softly and watched as he leaned down over me, his gaze flitting back and forth trying to get a read on my eyes as they filled with tears, "I know every horrible thing I did in June."

"Hey Kid, come on," he smiled. His thumb stroked my cheek, but it was totally fake as he licked his lips. "Couldn't have been all that bad." I turned away from him, moved to sit up, but felt his hand press against my stomach, holding me there as he stared me down. "No matter what you remember, Ali, I'm not going to let anything happen to you and I'm not going anywhere."

"Not until you know it all at least," I sighed and slipped out from under his hold, buttoning my jeans as I looked up and saw Danni in the doorway, her eyes watching the actions of my hands flitted over to the man on the bed and then locked on mine. Slipping on my sneakers I walked up to her, took her by the arm and stared deep into her blue eyes. "We need to talk."

"Duh, that's what I knocked for," she smiled, but the laugh faded as she shook her head. "Okay, come on, the boys will just have to be okay with me protecting you. Let's go for a ride."

The look on Dean's face as we pulled away told me everything I needed to know about how he was feeling. Confused and angry, but it was Sam's pacing that showed me that the boys were not okay with me being out of their sight and even with as possessive as it sounded right then I would have been okay with being locked away with them forever.

Danni drove for only minutes, or at least it seemed, before we were pulling into a dirt drive, one that lead us to an open field with only a small shack situated next to the road. She turned off the car and gestured for me to get out to which I sighed and opened the door to the Mustang.

It took me longer to get out of the car than it did for the knowledge of everything that I had done to hit me and suddenly I was at the end of the car, gripping my fingers around the edge of the lid as what I had eaten for breakfast came up faster than I could breath.

I felt Danni's hand on my back, rubbing it in soothing circles and I swore if she _oh, honey_ -ed me at any point I was going to get pissed and swing. I shrugged off her hand, stepped away from the car before I straightened and walked out into the field.

"I killed John!" I stated and shook my head turning to look at her, but there was no judgement on her face, nothing that would indicate that what I had said truly stunned her. "And you don't even know who he is right now."

"I know," she shrugged. "I know that he was those boys' father and I know that you think you did the right thing, because it sent him to a better place. I know that you sent a demon back to wherever they go with that blade."

"And I sealed this for you and me!" I growled and shook my head. "I did this, Danni, all of this! I left you alone to deal with Wayne's death, I took Dean from you, I took his father from Sam and I made you all forget. So why are any of you still around waiting for me to help you remember? You should all be running for the hills, or better yet, locking me back up!"

"We're all still here because whatever you think you did that was so wrong was done out of love and that trumps everything." She shrugged and felt her hand on my arm. I didn't spin around, I knew she would be there, but I glanced back at her and shook my head.

"It really doesn't, not with what I did." I turned back to the field, letting her hold me there for just a moment before her hand dropped to her side.

"I can tell you everything you did, from my perspective. Everything from the moment we met in Virginia, because you told me about it."

"And how is that the same?" I shrugged and ran a hand through my hair. "How does that make any of this right?"

"I doesn't make it right, Ali, it makes it real." Danni sat down on the grass, reached up and tugged on my hand, bringing me down to sit beside her. "I didn't believe you back then. Didn't really want to know the truth when you were in the hospital, because it was so bad, but it wasn't you that made it that way, it was that I wanted to believe you. I wanted to be lost in that world too, because I had been doing some pretty dangerous stuff as it was."

"You weren't," I smiled and looked over at her, resting my elbow on my knee as I brought it up and she looked at me in confusion. "From April to June, the things you did, the hunts you went on, they weren't as dangerous as now. They weren't alone."

"What do you mean they weren't alone?" She looked at me completely confused by this and I gave a little shake of my head as if to ask why she didn't know.

"I never talked about that month?" I whispered and licked my lips. Of course I wouldn't, there wasn't anything that Cas would find significant to erase or to block that needed to filter through. He would have only blocked the major events that really affected us, like our meeting in April and the misadventure in Winchester. "You were hunting with Sam and Dean and when you weren't with them, you came to see me."

"How exactly did I do that?" She rolled her eyes, "If I was with the boys why was I close enough to come _see you_?"

"Because you had an angel on your shoulder. You had Cas." I smiled and watched as she looked at me, her face suddenly going solemn as she thought of the man and I was about to ask her what was wrong, but she shook it off and took a deep breath. "Danni, no matter what you think you did to him that was so bad, Cas can handle it, he's a strong guy."

"Yeah, if I told you, it wouldn't be Cas that you were worried about." She took a deep breath and cleared her throat. "I'm going to be honest, which I rarely am with myself. I haven't been doing so good, not with…" she paused, "Ali something is wrong with me."

"I'm sorry, what?" I snapped around to look at her. "What do you mean something's wrong with you?"

"Ali I can do stuff, like to people," she whispered softly and I just closed my eyes, because I knew something was going to come from this that I didn't like, but I waited for her to continue with her thought. "When I touch somebody, like say during sex." This made me look at her and she just gave me a questioning expression as a response. "What I'm not a prude! Look, see what happens is, is that when I touch them I can feel their energy coming into me."

"Yeah, that kind of happens during sex!" I stated sarcastically and felt her slap my arm.

"That's not what I meant!" But she smiled. "I mean. I can see a blue light wherever my hand touches and it draws their energy from them."

"Does it hurt them? I mean when you do this, do they seem to be in pain?"

"I never bothered to ask before, it's such a rush, such a high that I don't even care." Danni shook her head. "The worst part of it is, is that I get jonesing for a fix and I don't care where the energy comes from."

"What about Jo?" I asked softly, but she just slowly moved her head back and forth. "Is that like a _no you can't have my honey bees_ no, or a _no I'm never flying my plane into a mountain_ no?"

"Okay neither of those pertain to the situation at all! Where do you get this crap from?" She snapped at me, "It means, no it's never happened with Jo before and I won't let it. I don't know what it is and I don't know if it's going to hurt her, but I'm not going to let it happen."

"Okay, so you get jonesing for it and what? You go off and you grab a guy and you go for it? But they don't seem to be hurting, so what's the issue?" I asked pulling my knees to my chest as I wrapped my arms around them trying to get more comfortable on the hard cool ground.

"The problem is that I don't know what the power is or where it comes from." She growled and ran a hand through her hair, pulling it back into a ponytail before she looked at me and I watched her jaw clench. "So thinking back on Virginia and what you told me about it, if it were real then this whatever it is comes from that!"

"You think you picked up whatever power this is from Virginia?"

"Well, according to you I'm the light and you're the darkness. So, blue light equals what... angel grace?"

"Yeah I guess," I shrugged, but I knew that there was something more to it than just that. I knew I had been feeling a bit off since I started remembering, a bit more ready to fight and visions of the monsters were just not normal, but this was the time to listen to Danni not express my own fears. "So what do we do? Like tie you up or something?"

"It's not like I'm going to go out and find a guy just to do it to," Danni sighed as she looked out at the field. "So, as much as he pisses me off and I wouldn't mind getting my hands on Dean Winchester, no."

"Okay, it's eww and good in the same sentence." I replied as she looked at me with a big grin on her face. "I thought you would be happy to hear I even thought of him that way," she teased.

"Yeah I'm happy, but really, I don't need to know the details of what you want to do to him. You certainly don't need to know that you want to go all angel gracie on him because that's just, well, that's just gross!"

"What are you... two?" She laughed and put her hand on my back between my shoulders. "Okay, so what do we need to do to figure out this blue light?"

"Well first things first. I think we need to call an angel." I smiled at her as the thought of having Cas close by sent a shiver down her spine. "Are you going to tell me what happened between the two of you?"

"Between me and Cas? Not in a million freaking years!" I nodded, letting it go for now, but curiosity killed the cat and I so needed to know. I listen to her sigh, but then she closed her eyes and kind of looked up at the sky. I knew what she was doing, she just decided to do it quietly, until I heard the sound of wings lightly behind me. I turned to watch the man who wore jeans and a t-shirt shrug on his coat before sitting down in the grass beside me. Danni opened one eye and looked over at him. "Took you long enough!"

"I realize that 2.3 seconds is quite long in your mind, but I got here as soon as I could." Cas replied as he pulled his knees up to his chest or as much as those jeans would allow and wrapped his arms around them. "I did hear what you were speaking about, the angel grace, you're right, it's left over from Virginia."

"And of all the times that we spoke you couldn't have told me that sooner?" Danni snapped and I reached out placing my hand on her arm. "Way to keep it to yourself Cas!"

"Well the subject never came up," Cas stated in his own defense, "Had you told me you were having this problem before I could have helped."

"Had I told you before then _before_ would have never happened!" She snapped and I watched as Cas locked his jaw and looked away. Whatever had happened between the two of them was definitely something I was going to investigate later, because an angel who shut up and a Danvers who wouldn't made for some interesting mystery. "Anyway," Cas started again, "it is residual energy, from the God Killer blades."

"The what now?" Danni questioned.

"The God Killer blades," I repeated quietly and flashed back to holding one of them in my hand, but the voice that I heard in my head was Sam and the way that he explained the history.

" _Yeah, the myth goes something like centuries ago, there was word of a prophecy that was beginning to unfold. So, a bloodline was created and along with the knowledge that two and only two would be able to bring about the end of this event certain pacts were made. Pacts of protection between those who wished to protect the bloodline for their own lives, to keep them from this awful fate and pacts to ensure that they would indeed fulfill what they were destined for." Sam rattled off and I was impressed by what he knew._

" _The fact that you remember all that is freaky, you know that, right?" Dean teased as he looked over to his brother and sighed._

" _There's more." Those greens eyes rested on me. "In the fires of hell two blades were forged using magic that sealed the knives making them unstoppable with the ability to kill anything they came in contact with, right down to the blood magic that was folded into steel." I watched Dean put a hand over his eyes and run it down over his face giving his head a small shake as to say this wasn't good. "Unique in the fact that they were forged in hellfire and blessed with angel grace, the knowledge that only those two would be able to wield them made both sides a little edgy. Deadly to both angel and demon these blades were feared by all, but to some it signified the end of something greater than anything ever created."_

" _Wonderful. So, where are they?"_

" _They don't know," Danni spoke up and looked at him. Dean sat up straight, annoyed that he seemed to be the only one out of the loop._

" _They lost two blades with the magical properties to kill anything?" Dean questioned and watched her nod. "Well that's just freaking awesome."_

"So what do I do about it now?" Danni growled and I watched Cas lower his eyes.

"As far as I know there isn't anything to do about it, not until you remember everything and by remember I don't mean go by what Ali had told you happened, you need to remember everything," he whispered and slowly stood, moving to stand in front of both of us as he reached out of hand. "Unfortunately, we have another issue that needs your attention at the moment."

"Oh God," I rolled my eyes, "did Sam finally kill Christian? Do we have to hide a body?"

Danni slapped me across the arm hard and I looked at her as I mouthed the word _ow!_ as I rubbed my arm. She rolled her eyes at me, reaching up to take Castiel's outstretched hand. The angel pulled her to her feet before he looked down at me.

"This is going to take all of you," he whispered and I slowly found myself reaching for him, but when he pulled me to my feet I found myself wrapped in his arms.

"Are you flying or do you want to drive in the car with us?" I mumbled into a shirt and I felt his fingers threaded through my hair as he laughed.

"I think I'll meet you there. We have to figure out this phoenix situation, they found another body." I backed away from Cas, looking up into his blue eyes and shook my head.

"When?"

"Just this morning. I overheard Dean talking about it to Sam. It came through the scanner shortly after you left, but there's no signal out here and if you don't want two Winchesters coming after you my suggestion would be to get back to the hotel as fast as possible." Cas answered as he slowly stepped back releasing me completely.

"You need to come with us!" I stated softly and watched as he shook his head at first, but his eyes went to Danni's who just rolled her blue ones at him and he sighed. "I mean it Cas, you need to be close and I need you to do me a favor."

"What kind of favor?" He whispered, his head leaning in towards mine as I grabbed his hand, grabbed the pen out of my back pocket and drew the symbol that was tattooed on the woman's neck onto the palm of his hand. "I've seen this symbol before."

"This was on her neck, The Woman in Black. I got a good look at it when she decided it would be time to give me back everything. I've seen it before too, I just can't place it and it's important Cas, somehow it's very important." His lips brushed my forehead as he backed away closing his fingers around the symbol on his palm before he nodded in Danni's direction and glanced at me one more time, locking eyes. "You'll be there right?"

"I'll be there." He stated quietly, before he suddenly disappeared and I watched Danni stomp her foot.

"God, I really hate when he does that!" She said sarcastically and the two of us walked over towards the car. Before getting in she looked at me over the roof and I watched her bite her lip. "Ali, you won't say anything to Dean will you?"

"That's your bag of tricks, I'm not touching it!" I smiled. "When it comes to Dean Winchester there are just things that you don't play with and whatever your feeling or not feeling for him that's something I'm not going near. The two of you will figure it out in your own time."

"As I recall, things between you and Dean have always been a little intense so it's not my toes you'd be stepping on, it's your own."

"I swear I am on endless repeat when I have to say this. There's nothing between Dean and I, at least", I paused, "at least nothing like that!"

"Ah-ha, keep telling yourself that chickie!" She smiled which only got a small shake of my head in annoyance as I yanked open the door and slid into the Mustang. I heard her giggle just a little bit longer before she slid in behind the wheel and started the engine.

So we're off to find a phoenix, fun!


	92. DH Remembrance - 26

**Chapter 26**

You don't watch porn

Danni and I pulled up to the hotel and slipped out of the Mustang, only to be met by Dean at the door. He looked at Danni, gave her a wink and grabbed me gently by the upper arm, tugging me down to the end of the walkway before he looked down at me, his eyebrows raised as he tilted his head just a little to the side, telling me that, yep, he was beyond annoyed.

"You sent Cas?" He question, and crossed his arms as he looked down at me.

"You're kidding me right?" I asked as I shook my head, "you can't seriously be angry about the fact that Cas is here. Come on, Dean, I thought you were over that."

"I'm over the fact that he's... Listen next time you decide to send the angel, give me a heads up, so I don't have to be here when he shows up." Dean growled leaning down closer to me, and I stepped up on my tiptoes, kissing him on the nose, an action that got him to step just a bit back. He looked around before he came back at me, closing the space. "What the hell, Ali?"

"Dude, you need to learn how to relax!" I reply and watch to see rolled his eyes before taking one of his hands and rubbing them against his forehead. "Cas is here to help, and we need all the help we can get, in case you haven't noticed."

"Fine!" He snapped but he didn't move out of my way as I tried to walk by. Stepping to the right just as I stepped to my left, I noticed the pattern the Winchester was doing, and I finally put my hands on my hips and shrug my shoulders, waiting for him to just ask what was on the tip of his tongue. "Are you okay?"

"Don't _are you okay_ me, Dean! You're the one that's sitting here having a fit about an old friend showing up to help you, and you're _are you okay-ing_ me?" I watched the worry in his green eyes, and I just sighed. "Yes, I'll be just fine, as soon as I figure out what the hell to do with what I know, and how to take this edge off."

"What you know? What is that supposed to mean?" And I watched his eyes fill with worry, completely ignoring the comment about being on edge.

"There are things in my memories, things that I can't share with you," and those words Dean shifted his weight in annoyance, and I reached out to grab his shirt, taking two fistfuls of the black tee-shirt he wore, as I held him close, pressing against him as I looked up, leaning my head back. Dean uncrossed arms, slipped one hand around my waist, and the other behind my head, as if supporting me before he leaned down just a little bit more. "It's not that I don't want to, Dean, please don't think that, it's just that I can't right now. I don't understand it myself, why would I lay it on you?"

"Are you going to tell Sammy?" He whispered as he closed the distance, keeping our conversation between us and I shook my head, because what would I tell Sam that I couldn't tell Dean, and at that moment there was nothing either of them needed to know. "Why wouldn't you tell him?"

"Like I could keep it a secret from you! You would probably know first anyway," I sighed, and found myself drawing in the scent of them, is deodorant, aftershave, and a little hint of the cigarette he had about an hour ago. "You do realize that right? That there's nothing that isn't shared between the three of us." I realize my mistake and word choices as soon as the grin appeared on his face and I just clench my jaw, growling underneath my breath. "You know what I mean, Dean!"

"Yeah I get it," he smiled widely, but his voice was low and dangerous, "so, truce?"

"You and me?" I smiled, "we need a truce? I didn't realize we were on fighting terms."

"You brought the angel in, he's your responsibility." Dean grumbled as his hand came down from my neck to wrap around me hugging me quickly before letting me go. His hand slipped down to mine and he grabbed my tiny one in his large palm, before wrapping his fingers around mine and tugging me towards the room again. When we stopped in the doorway, I saw Cas standing with his arms crossed against the bathroom door sill deep in conversation with Christian, but when the angel looked up, his blue eyes were locked on mine. Dean lean down close to my ear, and I feel him huff in frustration. "And if he keeps looking at you like that, I'm going to break his nose."

I couldn't help but smile at this, as the overprotective Winchester walk by and sat down at the table with his brother, grabbing the laptop as I entered and found an empty spot on the dresser. Hopping up, I leaned back against the wall and watched as Danni played with her files, the two boys seem to be deep and research, and Christian and Cas started to go over books in the corner.

It was then that I had had it with the quietness, and I open my arms wide slapped my hands together, the sound ricocheting through the room. Dean nearly knocked over his coffee, Sam's eyes shot up and stared at me, while Danni giggled under her breath. Cas just shook his head knowing my habits from living with me for the last three months, but it was Christian's look of confusion that had me smiling.

"Okay, let's get the show on the road," I started and looked over between Danni and Christian. "You two started this gig, what do we got?"

"Well, a new victim just came in," Christian said as he stood and grab his tablet from the dresser beside me, flip through the pages that were open by just touching the screen, and stopped on a news article. "Apparently he was called up 5 days ago, to discuss life insurance with an unknown source. Cliff Walker was a broker out of Tulsa."

"Okay so, who is here to see?" I asked as the two of them looked at each other. "Seriously, neither of you have anything?" I rolled my eyes, and just waited for a moment before I looked at Sam. "Can you pull up credit card statements on this Cliff Walker guy? You know hotel rooms maybe cell phone bills, hell, cell phone use. I mean there's got to be some trail In his call logs about why he's even up here."

"They didn't find any possessions on or around the site," Danni said as she flipped through the paperwork she had in front of her. Not quite sure how exactly they had gotten the coroner's report or the scene report from the police department, but she had it in her hand. When I glanced up towards bathroom, I saw Cas give a small smile which tell me exactly the answer that I needed.

"Cas, you can't just go into the police department and steal documents." I growled.

"I didn't steal them, I copied them." He stated matter-of-factly, and with all the frustration I felt at the moment, I couldn't help but smile at the man, because he knew that that was funny.

"Okay what else you got?" Dean spoke up, glancing at the people around him. "We know that it was the Phoenix again, so what kind of lore do we have, what do we need to put this bitch down?"

"Hey guys," Sam spoke up, catching everyone's attention as he looked up from his computer. "Five days ago Cliff Walker got a phone call from a local payphone."

"They still make those things?" Dean asked as he pulled a beer from the cooler and pop the top. I rolled my eyes at him, but he just gave me a smirk and his own little _give me a break_ kind of look.

"Apparently," Sam raised a brow, his blue-green eyes coming to meet mine, "and it looks like the only one in town, is in the diner where we had breakfast."

"Alright," I whispered, throwing my hands in the air as if to give up, "can you pull the records on that payphone? How much you want to make a bet all of our victims were called from that one number?"

"Doesn't necessarily narrow down our list of suspects, does it?" Christian question as he came to lean next to me on the dresser, making Sam's eyes darken as the younger Winchester became very protective. "How are we going to figure out who made the calls from a public pay phone?"

"I have an idea," Danni said softly. She looked up from the files, from me to Sam and then to game. "We need to get a log of the pay phone calls."

"Okay, we established that already," I spoke up trying to shake the agitation, "sorry I didn't mean for that come out as a snap. What I'm saying is we get that we've got to grab the call logs, but what's your idea?"

"Well, when we get them," she spoke up a little bit of irritation in her voice, "we can match them against shifts at the diner. Once we've established what shifts they were made from, and on what day, we should be able to narrow down who was there, and who might have used a payphone."

I watch the boys nod in agreement, all four of them before Danni's eyes locked on mine and I smiled giving her a grin that told her I definitely agreed with her idea.

"So the next part of this issue," I said.

I sat back swinging my feet back and forth as they knocked against the dresser, and I tap my fingers on my thigh as a nervous twitch that I couldn't seem to stop. I heard the chair move, but didn't think anything of it until Sam's hands came down on top of my fingers, and he braced himself against my legs pinning my ankles to the dresser.

"You okay?" He whispered as he leaned in close, and it was all I could do not to reach out and grab him by the shirt, and pull him in for a kiss, but shook off the feeling and just nodded. He leaned in and pressed his lips against my forehead, and I close my eyes enjoying the warmth before he pulled away. "You were saying our next issue is…"

"How do you kill a Phoenix?" I replied and he smiled.

"I have another potentially irritating issue," Christian spoke up hand my eyes turn to his. "How do we find their next target?"

"I think once we have the phone pattern down that shouldn't be hard at all." I raise an eyebrow and glanced at the rest of them. "So, now on to the next task finding any kind of lore on Phoenix, and how to kill something that rises from its own ashes."

I put my head back against the wall, tucking my feet up on the bed as I bent my legs, my grandmother book open to the very last page that I had read at least ten times. Yeah the room was getting stuffy, the boys were getting irritated and I was getting no where, At least Danni had managed to escape to get dinner, but that left me with Cas, Christian, Dean and Sam all with their noses stuck in either a book or a laptop, at least that was what I thought until I heard it.

It started out as a little moan, then a louder one, and I picked my head up to glance around the room, thinking I was maybe hearing the couple behind me but that was when I saw the television and Cas sitting at the edge of my bed. He had been there all night, reading through some old book that he had picked up from one of the safehouses, some place where the boys had started to stash the research books they needed, but that wasn't what he was doing now.

From behind, i could see the way his head tilted just a little bit, the slump of his shoulders as he sat with his elbows down on his thighs, not quite as low as Dean but enough so that he wasn't sitting straight up. Did they not teach these angels anything especially not to slouch, but that was when I heard the noise again and I leaned over more towards my right, to see past him to the flat screen tv.

Bodies were in motion on the screen, naked bodies… naked bodies doing… THAT! How the hell were they doing _that_ there? I mean physically that should be impossible, and slowly I found myself tilting my head just like Cas, which caught the attention of Christian who was on the second bed, and he looked at me as I caught his eye, cleared my throat and sat up quickly, my cheeks a bit red. That was when it happened, she let out a moan that had every man in the room on high alert and I watched as both Sam and Dean looked up from the computers.

Sam glanced over at the screen, grinned, looked down and suddenly his head came whipping back up as he looked again, then over at me as I gave him a shrug. Dean rolled his eyes, turned in the seat and sat forward to look at the screen before his eyes locked on the angels.

"Cas, are you watching porn?" his deep voice vibrated through me and my eyes went quickly back to the screen, yeah...wait...how the hell?

"You wouldn't think it was humanly possible for him to put that in her at that angle." Cas stated matter-of-factly.

"Cas, you don't watch _porn_ in a room full of guys," Dean grumbled and my eyes locked on his, "no offense, Ali," and all I did was raise a brow, but I put down the book and slid to the end of the bed, leaned into Cas and tilted my head again to watch the screen. "And you don't talk about it either, so just shut it off."

The woman on the screen made a noise that shook me so deep it made me shiver and what he was doing to her… my hand went to Cas' leg, the part of it that was hiding under his elbow, not intentionally but I needed something solid to grab onto as my eyes went wide. And with that, both Cas and I looked down, I leaned a little in and looked between his legs, no filter here.

"Oh great!" Dean growled, "now he's got a boner!" Dean stood, looked at the way the two of us sat there and he snatched the remote from Cas, "I said shut it off." That would have been about the time that Danni chose to walk in and she stopped to see Cas and I staring at his crotch and Dean rolling his eyes. "Ali," he reached down and grabbed my arm, "just…"

"Angels get erections?" I questioned, looking up at Cas, ignoring the man who held my arm, but Danni nearly dropped the bag of Chinese food. Sam reached out and caught it before she let loose. Dean looked up at her as she laughed, then tugged at my arm and I swatted at his thigh, getting him to let go, but I knew why he was pulling away, my hand was still resting on Cas' leg. "But when you and I were together, you never…"

"Okay, I can't listen to this!" Dean growled and walked back to the computer.

"It never was an issue," Cas answered, "I had multiple erections while you and I were together, I just never acted on them because I knew your feelings for Sam."

"Oh, good," I said, honestly relieved, "I mean thank you for not acting on them but it's good to know…"

"Did you think that I didn't find you attractive?" Cas openly asked and I heard Christian choke on his beer.

"Well, you know, looking back…" but I stopped and moved my hand quickly as I slid just a little further away, "okay, maybe wrong time, wrong place."

"No, no," Sam smiled, "I wanna hear this."

"Well, I don't!" Dean growled and sat down grabbing the bag. "In fact, I'd like to not hear about Cas' boner or the time the two of you spent together ever again… like never."

"Wow, jealous much?" Danni teased as she walked over to grab her stuff from the bag.

"Sensitive subject," he answered and looked at me from under his lashes.

"Maybe a more private discussion later would be more appropriate," Cas whispered to me as he stood, touched my cheek and walked into the bathroom, past Christian who was doing nothing but grinning and my eyes turned to Sam, who was just shaking his head as he went to find his lo-mein.

"Okay, why are we talking about erections?" Danni asked and Dean slammed his fork into his rice and put the box down on the table as he looked at Sam with a straight face but I couldn't help but laugh as Danni took out a chicken finger and bit down on the long piece of batter covered meat.

I watched Dean stand and slip out after dinner, not sure why it was such a habit, but with most smokers, even ones who did it as rarely as Dean, the urge for a nicotine fix was always there mostly after he ate, and that's exactly what happened. Giving him a minute to get himself sparked up and at least one puff in, I moved towards the door, letting my hands flow over Sam's shoulders before I headed out into the night.

It had been a while, a few hours at the most, since the need to be so close to him had been so overwhelming, but the more irritated I grew with the research, the more I found I needed to get him alone.

I walked up to the back of the Impala and watched him pace just a little with one hand in his pocket, the other holding the cigarette gently as he brought it up, took a drag and then let it linger near his thigh. He didn't acknowledge that I was standing there, not for at least three minutes, enough to make it through the whole thing before he snuffed it, tossed it out towards the middle of the lot and suddenly came at me.

I placed my hands on the hood of the trunk, bracing for impact, but he stopped just about a foot away, giving me enough space to tilt my head back and look up, covering the fourteen inch height difference.

"You shouldn't be out here." he whispered, his free hand clenched as his other remained in his pocket.

"I wanted to check on you," I shrugged but he knew better and let his fingers trace over my cheek when he brought his hand to me. I closed my eyes at the feeling and took a deep breath.

"That's my job, you know," he sighed, and I managed to opened my eyes wide enough to see him watching the on way his hand moved. "To check on you, to keep you safe, not the other way around, Kid."

"I think it might be both ways," I tilted my head into his touch and sighed, "I found something in the book, something that I think your dad knew about. I heard him growl low in his throat at the sound of his father being brought up, which automatically had my hands on his chest and I stepped closet. "Listen to me before you totally freak."

"You know my dad was playing with a demon, right?" his voice was deep and menacing, "so not freaking out is probably the last thing that's going to happen."

"Well, this was in my gram's book of shadows, not John's so slow your roll and listen." he rolled his eyes at the suggestion and eased back a bit, his hand coming from my cheek and down to my hips before he nodded. "Let's see if I can recite this from memory?"

"You memorized a spell?" his right brow raised and and the concern crossed his face. "Witchcraft is not something you should be playing with."

"I know, I could get addicted, but it's not a spell, it's something else," I paused to find the words. "An explanation maybe?"

"From a witch, in a Book of Shadows, that's called a spell." Dean sighed, glanced up to the sky and gave his head a little shake. "Fine, go ahead."

"Okay, so it said: _he of hunter's blood_ , that would be you i would assume," I grinned but he just gave me a sarcastic snarky look, " _she of witch's brew, what fate will lock together, no magic can undo. An unrealistic pull, a need of personal touch, unite the two together with unbreakable love. No heart unioned together, this isn't done in lust, for protection and direction until they be as dust."_

"Alright," Dean stepped back, "What does that even mean?"

"It means us, Dean, hunter and hunted, AKA witch!"

"You're not a witch," he stepped back, releasing me altogether as he crossed his arms and took up the pacing again.

"But I am," I whispered and watched as his gaze snapped towards me. "It's what we found out in Virginia, hell we found it out in April, but you just don't want to accept it. My grandmother's coven made a pact with Crowley. I'm protected by him, by their magic, and somehow, she found out that you and I were connected, it's why John ran."

"He didn't run!" Dean's voice went dangerously low as he came towards me, his eyes staring down mine as he locked me up against the car, but instead of touching him, I put my hands on the back on the bumper. "He was taken."

"Before that, long before that, when he pulled me out of the river, when you wrapped a towel around me, he ran because he knew that the instant we met, this was going to take over."

"But Lisa, Danni, Cassie?" he named off the women that he had loved and I smiled.

"Not done out of lust remember, which means your need isn't romantic," I shrugged, but the mere presence of him was so intense and he leaned down, hands at my hips again, lips so close to my ear as he breathed that I couldn't help but close my eyes.

"Then why do I need you so badly?" The words were soft, but the bite behind them hit home and i did my best to make sure that the whimper that threatened to escape stayed buried deep down. "I can't stay away from you and it's killing me."

"Take Danni," I replied, it was the only thing I could think of. "Before we find the phoenix, Dean, there's still time. Take her and make her remember."

"I can't leave you," and there was that growl, the possessive hint of his just under the bite of his cigarette, and I raised my hands to his chest.

"I have Sam, and Cas, Dean." I mumbled because him this close, was all he was getting from me as his lips brushed against my cheek, "I'll be safe."

Just as quickly as he came on, he was away once again, and I found it a little easier to breath. The book also said the need to protect the other half would trump others, and that need for touch strengthens the bond, becoming more of an ache then a desperate want the more time we were together, but that part lied, that part was wrong because I needed Dean as much as I needed Sam and it was just growing. The separation made the need stronger, creating a powerful draw that blocked out everything else, and as I watched him pace, I knew one thing, I needed him to be not so far away.

Danni walked by, glancing at me as she narrowed her eyes. Yeah that whole _something between you and Dean_ thing popped back into my head as she winked at me before she moved towards the Mustang to collect something out of the back. Dean looked at me, cocked his head to the side just a bit, and I watched him take a deep breath.

Danni climbed into the car, not what I was expecting her to do, but she just curled up in the seat, foot out the window as she relaxed. Didn't see that coming, but with a room full of men, yeah, I would need my space too.

I gave Dean a wicked grin, winked at him, as he gave me _that_ look, and headed inside to find the other three scattered around the room, looking just a bit guilty of something. I flopped down on the bed, put my arm behind my head and glanced at the the way all three of them looked at me.

"God, can you guys look any more like you've been spanked!" I laughed as Sam looked over at me, now sitting where Dean had. Christian raised an eye at Cas, whose stoic look told me nothing. "What? What is going on, because you three are killing me."

"So get this," Sam spoke up, but the joke just couldn't get past me and I felt the smile on my lips even if he was being serious. I watched as he took a deep breath but gave me just that small sly little grin. "All five of the victims were called from the payphone five days before their arrival in Carthage."

"So our pattern is what, a five day prep time before they turn to dust?" I questioned and listen to the sound of the engine of the Mustang roar to life, Highway to Hell blaring as she peeled out of the parking lot. Christian's brow furrowed and I made a point to make eye contact with him. Danni was safe, and with the way she was kicking ass, I almost laughed because it was Dean that I was concerned about. "What else did you get?"

"The last phone call made out was to a business number in Jacksonville, Florida." Sam continued, ignoring his cousin and not acknowledging the way that Danni and Dean had disappeared. "But the pattern switched."

"Wait," I said as I scooted to the end of the bed, staring at his blue-green eyes, "what?"

"This time, it's a Hannah Fox," he shrugged.

"What information do you have on her?"

"Well," the corner of his lips turned up in a grin as he looked over the screen in front of him. "Five years ago, she was a guy."

"So how is our pattern changing?" I shrugged.

"Nothing to cut off," he turned the screen to show me a beautiful red-head's business headshot. "She went through the surgery."

"Okay then!" I replied, admiring the woman on the screen for a few minutes more before I scooted back on the bed. "I'm assuming that she's in town."

"Yeah, the problem is, she didn't check into the hotel she was booked at." Christian shrugged, "which means one of two things, either A: she hasn't made it in just yet, or B:..."

"Our fine feathered friend has her locked away somewhere," I took a deep breath and shook my head. "It's more than possible that she hasn't arrived yet, it's not even close to late enough to call out a missing persons." Christian crossed his arms and ankles as he leaned on the dresser, "Did we figure out the lore?"

"Everything says there is no way to permanently put a Phoenix down," Sam added and I laid my head back on the pillow.

"There has to be something." I mumbled and closed my eyes. "Something that we're missing."

Sleep took over faster than I expected it to, in fact I didn't expect it at all but as soon as my close my eyes I felt myself drowning deeper into the darkness. Drowning yeah that was an appropriate word for it, because I felt as if I couldn't catch a breath, I couldn't find my way to the surface. No matter how much I scratched and clawed my way up.

When I open my eyes, I managed to breach the feeling of lethargy found myself in a room that I didn't recognize, can a place that I have never stepped into. It looked as if it were inside a hotel, a pool area, and the sound of the waves that I was making treading water echo off the walls.

I tried to catch my breath my arms and legs constantly moving as I held myself above the pool at least that was until a hand gripped around my leg and I was suddenly back under the water. I panicked visions of the river when I was a child float back in, and I tried my damndest to fight my way out.

I opened my mouth to scream but the water just flooded in and as I turned, I saw Sam! I saw the way his hair is fluted there, the blank expression on his face as his mouth hung open and his eyes looked right at me, dead eyes! Sam had drowned and where was I? Where was I to save him.

Determination struck, as I fought my way to the service, taking at the hands that held me even as my lungs burned for breath. I looked down curious on just what was holding me, and I stared into a face that I knew as well as the back of my hand but his eyes, Dean's eyes were filled with hate and bright red! Not the red color of demons but that of Fire and I knew I had to get away.

I lifted my foot as much as you could in water, and slammed down against his head, there was no way I was getting him to let go. The fight in my lungs, the way they tried to keep me afloat finally gave out and my body did the automatic thing, searching for the air it needed and I felt the water rush In.

I pushed at it one more time, this time using every ounce of strength I had left before the blackness took over, to kick down and as my foot connected with Dean, with this time, I watched as the water around him started to change.

Once he let go, and I raced to the top I turned in an instant, breaching the surface guilt racking me as I left Sam in that quiet tomb. But it was when the Phoenix Dean breach beside me that I watched in awe as he started to change.

The person beside me, the one who sneered at me in pain and anger was no longer the man I knew but someone I had never seen before and I watched in fascination as his body begin to deteriorate. It screamed loudly, so loud that I had to cover my ears which had me dipping under the water just a block it out. But I could see everything, even the way that it sparked, with life, as it tried to go up in flames but it didn't.

I backed up the best I could as I treaded water, my lungs still fighting to get in as much breath as I could and I watched as the water started to darken, the Phoenix instead of turning to ash, was becoming nothing more than a coating on the water.

I struggled to make it to the edge of the pool, my eyes locked on the floating body of the man who lay beneath the surface and when the final scream came from the Phoenix, when my eyes were about to dart away from Sam, I watched the red beads of the rosary around his neck float out from his shirt and hover in the water around him.

I couldn't leave him there, I couldn't leave him in that watery grave while I escaped. And against everything that told me to run, I went back in. As I swam up to him grabbing onto a shirt, I turn to pull them to the top, but that was when she arrived. Her bright blue eyes and smiling face fill my vision and she reached out with a sneer grasping me by the throat.

What did I need to remember, what did I need to know that she was still torturing me? And as her fingers gripped around me, cut in the air off once again I stared into her blue eyes, and recognize them.

I was shaking from the vision, shaken back to reality by two large hands, and I open my eyes and my mouth same time drawing in the sight of Sam alive in full of worry, and taking in as much air as I could as I sat up straight gripping a shirt.

I could feel the bruises around my throat, I can feel the singe of the Phoenix hands around my ankles, but the one thing that I knew for absolute certainty was a solid mass of the man beneath my hands, and that in itself kept me centered and grounded in this world, as I fought to find my voice.

"I know," I whispered clearing my throat as I tried hard to find my voice, "I know how to kill the Phoenix!"


	93. DH Remembrance - 27

**Chapter 27**

I told you not to go there!

Sam was staring into my eyes, his face full of concern, but all I could see was his dead ones locked on mine and I had to get away. Pushing him off, I scooted over to the other side of the bed and took a few deep breaths, touching my neck where her hands had left bruises and headed into the bathroom.

I put my foot up on the edge of the bathtub, roll my pant legs up, and looked at the branding hand print that was slowly fading as my hands shook, and I reach down running my fingers over it. I could feel the heat, but there wasn't any pain. I quickly pulled them back down, and stood up to look at the mirror.

Her handprints, at least the one hand, the one that held onto my neck, were there but also fading and with a shaky breath, I reached up and ran my own fingers against it. That was when Sam came in, he just opened the door and stood there staring at me in shock. I still couldn't look him in the eye, I still only saw the dead ones, but he had other ideas as his hand came and brush my hair way from my neck.

I felt his fingertips run against my skin, tracing the fading lines of her fingers, and I close my eyes, I didn't want to see those dead ones staring back at me. I swallowed hard as his breath brushed against my face when he leaned in close to my ear.

"Whatever you saw, it wasn't me Ali, I'm right here." His voice was soft and I almost wanted to get lost in it, but there was something in the whole thing that I couldn't shake. It had been Dean that had come after me. It was Sam that she killed, but it was Dean that she used. "Tell me what happened, tell me what you saw."

"It was you," I whisper softly, "it was you Sam, and you were dead."

I turned around to face him, his fingers still against my skin and his arm wrapped around my waist. I heard him let out a breath, and his lips were pressed against my forehead as I reached out and grabbed two fistfuls of a shirt, letting the beat of his heart beneath my hand remind me that this was reality.

"I'm right here Ali," his voice brushed against my forehead, "I'll always be right here!"

As I close my eyes the world around me seem to fade to black, and when I open them all I saw was red, the crimson red outline of Sam, even as I held them, and I drew in a deep breath, feeling myself start to shake, and I close my eyes tightly once more.

I'm sure Sam could feel my reaction to something, and slowly he backed away his thumb going over my cheek as he tilted my head back just a little. I was afraid to open my eyes, but when his lips pressed lightly against mine, and I can feel the warmth, I let my body relax, when he pulled away I was able to look up into those blue green eyes and sighed.

"You said you knew how to kill a Phoenix," he whispered his lips still just a breath away and I nodded against his hand not wanting to move as he held me tightly. "Then why don't we go get ourselves a monster so that I can steal you for the night."

I watched him step back, or more to the point I felt him step back, giving me space to run or stay, my choice. And I slowly released the grip I had on his shirt, enough so that he knew I was going to be fine.

"Yeah about that, there's some things we have to figure out before we can kill her." I smiled and watch to see him give me a sly grin.

"Like what?"

"Are we sending in a Hannah fox, or are we sending in a Henry Fox?" The two of us stepped out of the bathroom, and I looked at the concerned eyes of the two men in the room. Passing by Christian, he let a hand gently stroked over my shoulder, but I went to go past Cas, I felt him tug me in. Before I knew it, the angel's arms were wrapped tightly around me, and I felt the warmth of his invisible wings roll over me. "I'm fine Cas, really."

"I can feel the power growing in you," he said softly into my ear as he lowered his forehead to my shoulder, keeping the conversation quietly between us, it was a trick we used to use when the kids didn't need to know what we were talking about, and it seemed to work just as well for the other two men in the room, as I watch Sam gather the papers he had printed out. "This could get dangerous Ali!"

"I know Cas, I know." And I unfolded myself from him, making my way over to grab the Impala keys off table.

Sam and I made eye contact, just a little bit before I raised a brow and he nodded. Apparently nonverbal was becoming my second language, because I slipped out of the room without any issue, the younger Winchester knowing exactly what I was doing.

I open the trunk, glanced around to see if I was alone, and propped the weapons cache up with the shotgun that Dean kept handy. Checking out more than one compartment, I found a handful of rosary beads that I knew was stashed at the bottom. Dean had originally had it very organized, but over the years it had become so full that things were just tossed in when they were used and a silent promise was made to put them in their spot at a later date. It never happened.

I fished through the five sets that I had found, and held up the one that matched the set that Sam was wearing in my vision. I felt the visible shake go through me as I wrap my fingers around it and tucked it in my front pocket. The other four went into a small bag and that bag was tucked into one of the duffels that I had managed to grab, not sure what else we needed, I grabbed a small handheld crossbow, some metal darts, and a box of witch killing bullets.

When I stepped into the room, I looked up to see Sam hanging up the phone. He raised his brows at me but his lips tightened which told me that either he couldn't get ahold of Dean, or something else was wrong. Setting it rather harshly on the table, hell, he downright tossed in, his hand went to his forehead and he rubbed his temples gently.

"Any clue where Danni took my brother?" He asked me with attitude, and I couldn't help the grin that cross my face.

"Yeah, cause that's totally my thing! Knowing exactly where your brother is at any given point in time. Right. The two of them together are fine, Sam, they're not going to hurt each other." I walked up to him place my hand on his bicep, as he leaned on the table, and watches he turned his eyes towards mine locking me in a stare. "It won't be the first time we do without Dean," I whispered and watch Sam sigh, his eyes going down to the folder in front of him. "Sam we can do this, don't need him to lead us. You do this and I'll stand behind you 100%. You make the calls, you tell us where we need to go."

"It isn't going to be near any swimming pools, that's for sure!" He let that sly grin cross his face and he leaned forward kissing me on the forehead before he stood straight and looked at Cas and Christian. "Okay so first thing, we know all the calls have been made at night, and right around the same end of shift, what we don't know is who made them, so I think it's time to go for a little dinner."

"We already had dinner," Cas spoke up, eyeing Sam questionably.

"We're just going to go and scope out who uses the phone," Christian answered patting Cas on the shoulder as he walked by. I sat on the bed and begin to slip on my shoes, before attaching the Spectrum blade to my hip and when I looked up I watched as the boys exchange glances. "What do you think you doing?"

"Well I'm not going to walk into a place barefoot! You know that whole no shirt, no shoes, no service deal?" I paused and looked at all three of them. "Okay what exactly do you guys have up your sleeve?"

"Well the problem is that she might be expecting a Hannah Fox, not a Henry Fox." Christian filled me in on the little details, but I shook my head because I had just said that in the bathroom.

"Oh no, you are not getting me in a suit! Besides it's too late to find one now as it is, so come up with a new strategy!" I snapped at him as I stood and moved over to the computer.

"What if we don't send either?" Cas answered, and I looked at Sam who is standing with his arms crossed just taking in all the information that was flowing around the room. The younger Winchester kind of gave me a shrug, and my sight turn back to the angel.

"Go on Cas, we're listening." Sam replied.

"We assumed that men were specific targets, that each one was brought up here for the reason of the Phoenix to kill them, correct?" And I could see where his logic was going, so as I hopped up on the dresser, my eyes went to the floor, envisioning what he was suggesting. "What if they were random people, and it wasn't the men that the woman was after, but the companies themselves."

"What makes you think it was a woman?" Christian question quietly.

"You think leaving their junk behind for the whole world to see isn't a big _screw you_ to someone out there watching?" I sassed and Christian just shrugged, "seems like one to me. Whoever it is knows that the companies are watching, it's a national story, so there has got to be some connection to the phoenix and the list of companies that these guys belong to."

"So, what does that mean?"

"It means one of you guys is getting all dolled up to be eye-candy for a monster," I replied and looked at each one of them.

"Oh no," Christian was the first one to speak up, "I don't do suits of any kind!"

"I can easily obtain one," Cas volunteer.

"And she'd smell you coming a mile away," Sam answered and gave a little shake of his head. "I'll do it, Christian won't fit in my suit, and neither will Cas, plus, we've been at this long enough that I can pull of whatever you need me to do."

I closed my eyes, how did I know it was going to be him and my hand went straight to my pocket. As Christian tries to locate Hannah, to really track her down and make sure she stays away, I watched as Sam gathered what he needed for his suit and stepped into the second room we had, away from Cas and Christian. I followed, because who wouldn't want to watch their guy go from jeans and flannel to suit and tie.

I sat on the dresser, as Sam stood next to me, looking into the mirror as he did up his tie, not that he needed it, he just wanted to be that close to me because his eyes were locked on me the whole time. I scanned over him, the crisp white shirt, the black suit pants that hugged his waist and tapered down over him, that belt that I so wanted to undo, but we were on a time crunch and really needed to get moving, but it was when his body slipped between my knees, and I watched his hands go up through his hair before coming down on my thighs, that my heart started racing.

"Ali, everything will be fine," he said softly as his hands moved gently up the fabric of my jeans, coming to rest at the crease, his thumbs gently rubbing the seams of my legs, and I closed my eyes, putting my head back against the wall as I felt his lips brush against my neck.

I know I moaned, how could I not, his touch was electrifying and I brought my hand up, slipping it into the hair on the back of his head, letting it wrap around my fingers. I felt his hands move, one to the small of my back, the other to the side of my neck that he had left neglected by his lips and slowly he pulled me closer, closer to the edge of the dresser and closer to driving me wild with just the way he kissed that sensitive skin. My free hand grasped at his hip, sliding around to graze over the tight, thin, material of his dress pants and I heard him growl as he pressed closer, trying to get me to either stop or go.

His mouth moved slowly upwards, brushing my cheek, blowing against my ear and my heart raced as my breathing quickened until his lips were gently pressed against mine. I felt his tongue flick out, tasting me before he closed down on my skin, drawing my lower lip between his. For something so innocent as a kiss, how was this so very erotic?

That one small kiss became deeper still, as I opened for him, letting it turn into a needed moment, where his tongue explored and his lips closed down. The fingers at the small of my back kneaded and I whimpered as I gripped the back of his shirt, trying to not mess up the rest of it, but that tie, oh what I wanted to do with the tie that moved against me. I could think of so many things to use it for, but the one thing I wanted more than anything was to have him against me, without the clothes.

When he moved for a breath, his nose pressed against mine, his lips just a touch away, I felt him shiver as he debated on letting me go or keeping me close.

"Stay here with me," I begged and his thumb gently caressed my cheek.

"I want to," he whispered, "I would give anything, Ali, but there isn't anyone else." And I knew this, I really did but with the memories that she had given me, with the loss that I felt at the end, when I lay in Dean's arms and Sam… Sam was begging me finally to hang on, I couldn't let him go, not after seeing his death, not again. "Come with me, be my backup."

"Like I would let you go seduce a woman without me, let alone a phoenix." I smiled and let my lips gloss over his gently. "If she hurts you…"

"I know," he smiled and pressed a kiss to mine once more, "trust me, I know."

The bang on the door gave us the signal that it really was time to go, but I grabbed that tie before he moved away and slipped my hand into his, moving it from my neck, as I pressed the red rosary beads into his hand. Sam stepped back, his forehead just an inch from mine as he opened his palm and looked at the necklace that set in his.

"A Phoenix can't turn to ash in water," I whispered and watched his eyes come up to meet mine, "holy water makes it impossible for it to come back, even if the remote possibility of it escaping at all comes up. If she's on you, get to water, Sam, get there and make sure she's under it, any way you can."

"I'm sure you have a plan," he smiled bringing his lips up to kiss my forehead, and he was right, I did, but how did I tell him that it could cause the very thing I was terrified up, I just smiled back and nodded.

He stood straight, placed the rosary over his neck and tucked it down into his shirt. With a deep breath, trying to keep the solemn look from making my feelings known, I kissed him one last time before the two of us headed towards the door, with Sam grabbing the keys and the dress coat before he locked it tight and turned out the lights.

The diner wasn't at all crowded, not like it was for breakfast, so it was easy enough to slide into the seat next to Christian and watch the coming and going of people. Two of us had arrived early enough to get settled in the seat, order some coffee, and strike up a conversation as if you were a normal couple out on a date. Not that that would go over well with Sam because Christian was sitting a little too close, and his arm is over the back of the seat and wrapped around so that his fingers were caressing the opposite shoulder.

Yeah, he might have been taking his role a little too seriously. But as he leaned in, the conversation even with a smile on his face pertained to Danni and how she was feeling about this whole situation. He was giving me a perspective of how she had handled the night before, when Dean had spent the morning in the front seat of baby while Sam and I were asleep in the back.

He told me that she was confused, that she remembered Dean from someplace but hadn't quite figured out where, that his eyes had haunted her for months, but now it seems that she had gotten over some of that fear in order to take off with him in the Mustang. That alone bothered Christian, the fact that the two of them had taken off.

"It's not that I don't trust Dean", Christian whispered his breath against my ear, "but come on, you don't realize the crap that she's been through or that she's put herself in."

I turned and looked at him my brow raised, and shook my head. "I know exactly what she's been through, I was there when Wayne died for real. I understand that her memories are all screwed up, and I get it, I really do but if Dean is what's going to keep her anchored, we need to let this happen!"

"Well this you and Sam thing, I don't like it." He said defensively, and rolled my eyes.

"You're not allowed to not like it Christian! In fact you don't even have a say in it. So what makes you not like it?" I snapped as I turn the seat a little bit, and felt his hands cup my shoulder.

"Do you know what he's been through since his father died?" Christian leaned in, his forehead resting against mine. I scowled at him, how dare he bring that up, I knew exactly what he had been through, the first time. "Every monsters he's faced he has been brutal with, not a simple done and over, Ali, but Sam has gone above and beyond, to make it as ugly as possible. He's dangerous and you could seriously get hurt."

That was when our boy walked in, fully dressed in his suit with his messenger bag on his arm and he glanced over at Christian and I smiled a greeting but I could see the darkness roll through his eyes. Strangely enough as soon as that emotion passed through him, chill ran through me and I was drawn to the energy he was giving off.

Crowley had said that when everybody had their memories back I would need him, need him to help with Dean, so why did I feel like he was wrong and it was Sam that I would need to help with? His darkness drew me and I remembered back to what Cas had said in the car on the way home from Oklahoma that day in April after he had dropped Sam and the other two at the bunker, what he reiterated when Sam came to get me for Virginia.

" _Ali, you were chosen for this task for a reason, you were given the knowledge and the power for a purpose, and it's up to you how to use it, but you have to decide soon."_

" _I don't know if I can, Cas," I found myself looking up to meet his gaze. "I just got Sam back, he's finally here and already the supernatural is screwing it up."_

" _It's not 'screwing' it up, Ali, it's making it right. You and Danni are destined to fix this whole screw up."_

" _I don't want to fix anything, Cas, I just want Sam." Inside my body trembled. "You know weeks ago, you said that Sam being so close to me was going to feed the darkness in him, that Dean was the one keeping him stable, that it was the reason that Dean always kept me so close and now you're telling me, what? Let him in on every secret that I have, including the screwed up lies that John told him? How is that going to help him? How is that not going to break what little self-control he has left. I won't bring out the demon in him, Cas, I refuse."_

Sam sat down at the table, facing us, but as soon as Christian leaned in and put his lips against my temple, the younger Winchester got up and switch so that his back was to us. Not that I blame him because I elbowed Christian right in the ribs. It was a move done completely on purpose to set him off, but Sam held onto the facade that he had created and waited.

I watched from behind as he pulled out his laptop, place it on the table and open it up. From where we sat I could see the screen, and I knew that he was setting up some sort of document but I didn't know exactly what. Sam's fingers clicked away at the keys, loud enough that it sounded as if I was sitting right beside him and I close my eyes to listen to it. His fingers were magic, almost as much so on the keys because they were anywhere on my body.

I shuddered as I thought about it, which had Christian's hand coming down to touch my chin as he turned my head towards him and his hazel eyes meeting my blue ones.

"What are you thinking about, Angel?" Christian whispered, but did I really tell him exactly what was on my mind? Just as a sly smile across my face, about to give him the intimate details of the scene I had just imagined, we watched as the waitress walked over and slid in the seat across from Sam.

"Looks like someone took the bait," I whispered and watched as they continue their conversation, Sam's body language telling me that he was really playing the part.

"Green is not a good color on you, Sweets," Christian whispered, his breath brushing against my cheek as he pressed against my ear. "Don't worry about your boy, Sam's got this covered."

But that wasn't saying that I was worried about the woman that sat across from him. I knew what she was, I could feel her energy from where I sat. It was dark. Dark and inviting and I just wanted to reach out and touch it, but I knew that there was something very wrong about being able to feel it.

The conversation between the couple went on for about an hour, and in that time I had just about pulled apart every napkin that was on the table, leaving a pile on the seat between Christian and I. His hazel eyes glance from Sam, to me and then down to the pile of rolled up pieces of napkin litter the seat.

"Do we need to take this outside?" Christian spoke softly as his hand went to the back of my head, his fingers brushing against my scalp, which only reminded me of Dean, who wasn't there. Another wave of emotions ran through me and I realized that as much as he needed to be with Danni, I wanted him to be there.

"No, I got this." I answered and watch as Sam close the laptop and started to stand. The waitress, who had rolled up her apron, was slowly rising from the bench as well. "I think we got her."

I sat forward, grabbing the dessert menu trying to make it look as if I wasn't watching the two of them. But I knew that Sam could easily make out the way my eyes followed her. He turned gave us a quick glance and a nod before picking up his laptop and sticking it in the messenger bag, holding three fingers up, to tell us to give them three beats before following outside.

Sam smiling down at the other woman sent sparks and anger through me, and Christian placed his hand on my hip holding me in place, cuddling closer as the two of them walked out the door.

The Campbell beside me pressed his lips against my ear and gave me a small chuckle as he played his part well, slipping the wallet out from behind him. The two of us were smiling at each other but that didn't mean that I wasn't angry. So angry wasn't exactly the word, beyond jealous, that was probably it. And I never remembered feeling such a strong emotion about one person.

Christian moved out of the booth, taking my hand as he did so and the two of us headed out the door. I could see Sam standing by the woman as Christian pushed me towards the Grand Am. The two of them leaning against the Impala and Christian seemed to feel my frustration.

"Maybe this is a bad idea," he whispered against me, literally pressing his body to mine as he held me against the car. I watched the world around me flash to black, and the red light that made up his body seemed to take over. "Jesus, Ali."

I shook my head, pressing back the dark emotions and suddenly I couldn't breath. I held onto Christian as if my life depending on him but that was when I felt the warmth at the back of my skull, the bright blue of angel grace that lit up my vision.

"Cas," I whispered and suddenly the feeling was gone, so was the car and I backed away, so was the Impala. My jaw dropped. Where the hell were we and where had Sam gone. Letting go of Christian, I managed to back far enough away that I could see we were behind the building.

"Don't worry, Ali, no one saw." Cas reassured me.

"Did anyone see where Sam went?" I snapped and Cas placed his hands on my face.

"I know exactly where Sam is, but he isn't my concern right now, you are." I bared my teeth at the angel that wasn't letting me go and slowly felt the anger run from me. I took a few deep breaths and placed my hands on the ones that cupped my cheeks. "This is so much worse than before."

"This is from before, from Virginia, this is how bad it was, the seeing red while the rest of the world goes black?" I snapped, "feeling the anger and the darkness of monsters, this is how it was?"

"You were the darkness, Ali, but the build up there wasn't this fast. I told you I was concerned about it." Cas made excuses as I closed my eyes.

"We need to get Sam, finish this… Phoenix and get the hell out of Dodge." I growled and pushed past them both. When I made it to the other side of the building, I closed my eyes, and like a scent, I could almost tell which way they had gone. The sound of footfalls behind me told me that Cas and Christian were close again and I glanced back at them before moving towards the Grand Am. "I know how to find him."

"Ah, how, because we weren't even in the lot when they left?" Christian's voice questioned.

"I can smell her." I snapped and slid into the passenger's seat.

The large, three-story victorian that we pulled up in front of was in a sorry state of falling apart, but the fact that the Impala was parked in the overgrown driveway and the light on the second floor was on told me the only thing I needed to know. My Winchester was in there, and he wasn't alone.

Closing the door as quietly as possible, the three of us moved from the Grand Am to the back of Baby, where I quickly managed to pop the lock on the trunk, muttering a silent apology to the car and Dean for having to force my way in, but once there, I grabbed what I could, and let it come to rest without banging it shut. It wasn't that we hadn't already packed the duffel full of useless stuff, but the canister of Holy Water that I knew Dean kept tucked away in there called my name and I had to have it.

Moving in through the back door, I could hear the sounds from upstairs, and they weren't the ones I expected. I knew Sam could get into his roles but the noises were either sexual in nature or her torture tactics were majored in moans. I felt Cas' hand lightly on my shoulder as I moved, fuming as I headed up the stairs, back to the wall to avoid creaking planks but as we rounded the corner, what I saw had my heart stop and my breath release all at once.

Sam sat tied up to a bed, his shirt tucked up to his chest and his eyes were closed tightly, but his face only registered pain as I stepped closer and noticed the woman sitting beside him on the bed. I watched her hand move, her arm twitch in a familiar pattern and I shook my head. That wasn't pleasure on Sam's face, but that definitely was blood.

Christian tapped me on the shoulder dragging my attention away from Sam as he gestured to the bathroom and I handed off the bag of rosaries that I had stuffed into my pocket, the canister of holy water wasn't leaving my sight no matter what Chris' plan was.

I moved slowly into the room, spectrum in hand and when I saw the blood on Sam's abdomen, my thoughts flashed back to that first night we met, the one where he came flying through my window and I nearly froze, and I mean nearly because as soon as I entered the room, she turned towards me. She had sliced open his scar, and her chin was covered with the blood that seeped from it.

Anger clouded my eyes, the room turned black once more, Sam's body became a blur of red with a smoky hue to it but hers was deeper as if she had nothing but the darkness in her and suddenly she was flying at me. I brought the spectrum up, as she pushed me towards the wall, but she avoided the blade all together. I caught Cas move out of the corner of my eyes, the bright white of his grace blinded me for just a second as he healed the wound on Sam and released him from his bond, but that was enough time for the woman to move me and I found myself sliding across the floor, splinters poking into my back, ones that should have hurt but only made me more angry.

Christian moved out of the bathroom, reached down to grab me but the Phoenix was there in an instant, gripping him by the neck, I could see the fire in her eyes, and I knew what would happen if I couldn't get him away. I jabbed out with the knife, plunging it deep into her leg and she screamed, releasing Christian as he felt to the floor. I was sure he was breathing since his hand came up to his neck, but he seemed to also be reaching out for me, as if he were blind.

I yanked the knife back, scurried to my feet as she came at me again, this time I was able to move into the bathroom and to the clawfoot tub that filled with water and rosaries. She followed me in, smirked at the tub and pushed her blonde hair out of the way as that grin turned evil and her eye filled with fire.

"What is this, some sort of trick?" She laughed, but I lowered the knife and shook my head. Sam was standing behind her, not close enough for her to sense him but still enough to be dangerous and I narrowed my eyes.

"Come at me, bitch, let's see what you can do." I growled, the blade twirling in my hand as I felt the power spark through me. She did just that, her hands out to wrap around my neck, but as I felt the burn from her power start to etch a brand in my skin, the heat from my stomach did just the opposite. It began to burn brighter, and I felt my body suck the power from her. "You might be bad, but I'm so much more."

"What are you doing?" She screamed as I felt the power siphon from her, the electric shocks of whatever she was seemed to fill my sense and I heard Cas in the background yelling for Sam, telling him that this couldn't continue.

I raised my hand, grabbed the canister from my back pocket and managed to get it open without her letting go, not that I honestly thought she would be able to, but I did the best I could to hold it above her head as I poured the liquid from the flask and watched her scream in pain. Sam's hands came around to grasp her shoulders and he yanked her from my throat, something that sent chills through me as I looked up at him, the smoky color slowly fading and I felt my knees give out.

His face was pure anger as he twisted her towards the bathtub, tossed her over the side and held her down in the water as he turned his face away, eyes shut. The light from her fire, the way she burst into flames, trying and failing to become what she needed to resurrect herself, was brighter than anything I had ever seen even Cas let off and I covered my eyes with my arm.

When I chanced to open my eyes, Sam was sitting by the tub, soaked to the bone with the water, his shirt completely ruined but he was looking at me with a mix of curiosity and fear. I shook as he stared, waiting for him to make up his mind, was I a monster or a mortal, but his arms came up, and I was in them in an instant. I don't remember moving but I know the warmth that I felt around me was everything that I wanted.

Cas placed his hand on the back of my head, lightly enough to let me know that he was there before slowly taking it away and tending to Christian. Sam's lips came down to my forehead as his arms tried to scoop me up and pull me in closer.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm sorry I screwed this all up."

"You didn't screw anything up, Sam," I nestled into him, wanting to do nothing but close my eyes and feel him around me.

"I exposed you to that, I wanted so much to keep you away." I felt his chest rise as he drew in a deep breath.

"Can we just go back to the motel, get cleaned up, and sleep?" I questioned, my body feeling suddenly heavy, "I just want to sleep."

"I just want to touch you," he replied, and God did I love the man when he was honest. "Come on, I'll take you home."


	94. DH Remembrance - 28

**Chapter 28**

Moose and Mangos

The car ride back was quiet, whatever the power had done, it drained me and energized me at the same time, but I chose to keep that quiet, tucked up against Sam in the front seat of the Impala. Cas had managed to worm his way into "checking me out" before leaving to make sure that there wasn't anything remotely dangerous to sucking down the energy of a phoenix, but he couldn't find anything wrong.

The entry to the motel room was nothing less than violent, full of the need to make sure the other was okay. There were no words between us, just the desperate way our lips crashed together as soon as the door was slammed shut. I had no sooner turned in my spot to grasp his shirt when he had me against the wall, kiss full of fight fueled passion and the way hunters always seemed to feel after a hunt, craving a touch that was real.

His hands curled into my hair, thumb grazing over my cheeks, body pressed tightly against mine but his need was different than mine, his was there to reassure me that I was normal, that he had witnessed the darkness in me and he accepted it, but when his damn hands found my skin, my need took over.

I turned him, as much as you could someone almost a foot and a half taller and he "humphed" as he hit the wall, my hands going straight to his waist. Sam laughed against my lips as I ripped at his shirt, bloodstained and covered in black spots that I hoped were dirt but he pushed me back, took me from his lips, only to put enough space between us that he could breath, and lean his forehead down.

"Ali," he whispered, his breath soft against me, telling me that life was still there no matter how much I knew it, but my hands still clawed at the material. Finally, he let me go, started helping me with the buttons as he pushed the material aside. "Ali, Cas healed me, there isn't any wound."

Yet, there it was. The faint white line of the scar from April still showed against his sun-kissed skin and I felt him take a deep breath, muscles clenching under the weight of my fingers, under the touch of my skin against his.

"Why didn't he take it?" I questioned, not making much sense at all, but Sam got it, he understood.

"You," he stated faintly, "you're hands did that, they patched me up, they made me whole, just like now."

I stepped back from this, and looked up into those blue-green seas, shaking my head. He wasn't whole, he still had so much to remember, so much damaging things to know, but as I retreated, his hand reached out and took my wrist, not allowing me to run away this time and he stepped forward. One step, two at the most and I was crashing down on the bed, the younger Winchester moving more slowly, but following just the same to make sure he didn't crush me with his weight.

He towered over me, legs pressed between mine, separating them as his hips found the vee between them, nestling in as he pushed me back on the bed and I kicked my shoes off, brought my knees up, opening for him, giving him space to press. He released my hand, moving so that he rested on his elbows, cradled my head in one of his hands as his lips brushed against mine softly.

The rush was gone, he wasn't bleeding, he was in one solid piece but the want was still there. With him, it would always be there.

I reached up, slowly pulling at the tie that had been loosened but not stripped away, which would have been the first thing I had done as soon as that little bitch walked out the door with me, but Sam was patient as I moved, letting the rest of the buttons from the shirt give way under my touch and gently, I slid my hands over his bare shoulders, pushing the annoying material down as stared up at him.

"I'm afraid," I admitted, not something I had intended to say, but definitely something I was feeling and Sam smiled.

"You don't have to be, it's always been you and me, always, Ali and that's not going to change." He shimmed out of the shirt, if that was the right way to call it, but one arm slipped back then the other before it sailed across the room and he reached down for the hem of mine. "I'll protect you."

"What if you can't?"

I swallowed hard as his hand gently wrapped around my waist, and yeah they could do that, easily, but his was just a touch, light enough for me to know that his fingers were spread wide, taking in every inch of me that he could as he moved up, bringing my shirt with him, even as his thumb flicked over the peak of my nipple, eliciting a gasp and then a small moan from my lips. I waited... waited until he sat up just a little to pulled it off with both hands before mine rested on his abdomen, caressing the way his muscles moved.

My shirt was tossed somewhere in the vicinity of his and I let myself fall back on the bed, his fingers back on my skin, caressing any spot on me that he knew would get the response he wanted. His hand moved, the one that still seemed braced above my head, at least until it was twisted in my hair, giving me those not so gentle tugs that I needed. I loved when he touched me, but his fingers curled up against my scalp, fingers kneading through it, that was something that always had me rolling my eyes. It was sensitive, almost too sensitive and I craved it.

That hand pulled me to him, bringing soft, wet lips down on mine, with torturous slow movements, a brush here, a sigh there, lips pulling at lips, coercing me open so that he could deepen it, and when he thought I was placid enough under him, his tongue flicked out, running along the seam between them, asking for an invitation but only briefly before plunging in against me, all the while his hand had managed to remove my bra and those callus fingertips were bringing me to another high as he pinched down on the hardened nipple he had passed over moments before.

The onslaught of his touch, the way his kiss was commanding but at the same time gentle, had my brain spinning and my body vibrating, as I raked my hands over his ribs, up over his back and down to where the thin dress pants covered his ass. Yes those would have to go, as soon as I remembered how to work a belt.

He laughed against me, which only made me moan into his kiss as I fumbled with the buckle to the black leather adversary, the one that fully kept him from me and those fingers moved, leaving only a tingle in their place as ran down between us and grabbed the end of it, pulling the belt harshly until it unbuckled.

Sam left it open, not bothering to remove it as he brought himself up, pressed against my thighs, letting me feel the way he grew uncomfortably tight in the confines of those pants. I was more aware now, more intune with my senses as I easily popped the button of the pants, sliding my fingers down over the curve of his backside, letting my nails dig in as I brought him closer, pressing him against my heat and this time he was the one that moaned.

"Ali," he growled, muffled by my lips against his, more so when my hand rounded his hips, moving the cloth further down over him, taking the boxers down with it, and I could feel the slick wet tip of him against my stomach as soon as he was free. His breathing became soft little pants as I wrapped my fingers around the thickened base, fingers nestled in the curls of his hair and he stopped his kiss, to catch his heart, or his breath whatever was more necessary. "Do it, _please._ "

A begging Winchester was always the hottest thing in the world, but one that begged while taunt and pulsing in my hand was ten times more so. I stroked up as his fingers pinched and I gasped almost the same moment he did, just as I rounded the tip, tightening on the head as I pulled the feelings from him.

He growled, literally growled against my mouth, lips slightly parted, not really kissing me as we both remained still, his eyes tightly closed, mine wide open so I could see as much of him as possible, and as my thumb rolled over the tip, flicked at the little spot just at the top, those lips made one quick move, as if the air had been taken from him and he gasped to get it back. I smiled and moved, sliding back down to half way. There was no way to get it accomplished with the length of him, not with one hand and halfway seemed to be where his pressure point was.

Locked tight around the man above me, I started to move, a steady rhythm that had him huffing, those eyes tightening more as I moved and the hand that had been on my waist now lay flat on the bed, keeping the space between us so that I could slide freely. His teeth clenched tight and if it were possible for the man to get any thicker, he was doing it as his hips started to move, pumping against me, creating his own pace and just as he was about to fall over the edge, his hand snapped down and stopped mine, fingers clenching tightly around me as I held onto just the top. He squeezed both my hand and himself, not enough to hurt me but enough to stop the flow and after a moment, he moved.

It was a frantic motion, the seemingly fluid way he was able to release himself and reach for the intrusive material that rested between us, my jeans, but I wasn't ready to let go of him yet. I teased him, moving just below the peak and back up, as he tried desperately to get rid of the material, and he looked up with such a dark want in his eyes, that I could have come undone just by the sight of it.

I released him, helped him yank down the jeans and he tugged me to the edge of the bed, hovering over me as he slipped one hand below the small of my back, pulling my hips up as I wrapped my legs around him, but he stopped, tip just about buried in wet heat, and his breathing quickened with the pause. He leaned down, eyes locked on mine and shook his head.

"You have to say yes," he whispered, and I knew why, but I wanted him to say it, so I only gave him a smile. " _Ali_!" he snapped, his tone full of that want, and he knew… just knew that I needed to hear it out loud. "You have to say yes, because I can't hold back, it's going to be hard and fast and I don't…"

" _Yes_!" I reached up, stopping his words because the whole _I don't want to hurt you_ was not something I wanted to hear.

I pulled him down, roughly, demanding his lips against mine. As my tongue invaded the soft velvet of his mouth, he pressed in, one fluid motion that had me gasp. I was never truly ready for him but with no other prep, Sam was massive and he paused only long enough for me to adjust before i plunged back between his lips, humming my own need against the way he tasted.

He moved then, hard, fast, deep and oh how I needed that, I needed to feel something other than the fear from before. I needed to feel Sam, wholly and as he pumped his hips, as he drove into me, pulling nothing but moans and occasional sounds that could have turned into screams of want, I bit down on his lip, getting growls and moans in response to the hard digging of my nails.

We both needed to feel something, something only the other could bring out and this was it. I leaned my head back as I felt the rush coming from him, the way that he made my body tremble, shake beyond anything. I closed my eyes tightly, hands finally gripping his hair while his lips descended upon that small, sensitive spot on my neck, where it sloped just enough for him to get his lips in, to let his teeth rake against it.

" _Sam…_ " was the only world that seemed to work among the noises that escaped my lips, but his name was the only thing he wanted to hear as he move faster, creating a dance that seemed to hit that nerve inside, that one little spot that had me digging at the sheets, pouring over him and when he looked up, when I could catch his eye, my lips fell, parting so that he could see the way that I clenched my teeth as the muscles around him clenched inside, surrounding him. "I need to… can't…"

"Let go," he whispered, bringing his mouth to mine, but his little kisses didn't go deeper, even as he pulled me higher, changing the angle so that his knees were under me, so that he could sink in as far and fast as he wanted. "I wanna breathe you in as you go. Do it, Ali...let go."

He didn't have to ask me twice, certainly didn't need my body to tell it when, but his voice, that sex-laden, deep voice that he always got moment before he released was all it took to send me spiraling at the edge and as I plummeted down over, I felt him breathe out, moan into me as I clenched against him. I felt him swell, and suddenly he was coming along for the ride. The little moans from him matched mine, riding the wave together.

I felt him stiffen, bury himself deep, as those hard thrusts became shallow and slow, like he was letting the way I moved draw everything from him. Sam's lips were softly resting on mine, gentle kisses were all that I got as I wrapped my arms around his neck, one hand going up in his sweat-drenched hair as his final release came with a slow exhale.

He didn't move the rest of his body, just those lips as they lay small brushes against mine before tapering off to my cheek, down to the slope of my throat and his head rested there, breathing me in as I closed my eyes. I felt the shocks go through him, little pulses that had me gasp when they happened, and I felt his body move in a laugh with each one but there was no sound except his breathing.

I ran my hand down his neck, as far down his spine as I could and slowly back up over his shoulders before I felt his hips relax, every muscle in his body seemed to give into the feeling and came to rest against me. His weight seemed like nothing, though he would argue and say that I was half of what he was, which was total BS, and that too long under him and I would suffocate, but then again, I couldn't think of a better way to go.

He shifted then, slowly drew out, getting another noise from me as he left me feeling empty and detached, but his hands scooped me up, letting my legs wrap around his waist as my arms gripped his shoulders and I put my head down against his chest. He carried me like I was nothing, one arm under my ass for support before he set me down on the counter in the bathroom and turned on the shower.

I shivered at the noise, thinking of the tub that the Phoenix was in, but he didn't fill it, just let the spray run before he took me by the waist, helped me down to my feet and smiled at me as he tugged me into the water.

I had to admit the feeling of it hitting me was glorious, but the fact that the man behind me was running the soap-drenched cloth over every inch of my skin felt ten-times better. I braced myself against the wall, arms outstretched and let him do what he wanted, having closed my eyes just to savor the feeling, and as the water rinsed the soap away, his kissed followed, warming me with a path of hot lips and little nips. I longed for another knee-quaking release and Sam didn't disappoint as his fingers slipped between my legs with two purposes, to rinse the soap away and to slip in, using his own slick as a way to bring me back to that point, his arm wrapped around my waist as my legs shook.

I didn't take long for him to bring it to a head, so-to-speak and before I knew what was happening, my eyes were shut tight and I was pressing back against his hand, knowing just the angle I needed to bring it to the simple conclusion that I wanted. Sam steadied me as his own breathing grew heavy and he moaned as I tightened around his fingers before he pressed his forehead between my shoulders feeling me ride out the wave of ecstasy that brought me to a not so quiet end.

I slumped against him, spent for the second time as every part of me shook. He gently washed me off one more time before he shut down the spray, wrapped me in a towel and helped me to the bed. It was strange how domestic it all felt and I ran my hands through his hair as he dried me off, pushed me back into bed and covered me completely while he returned to the bathroom to take care of the shower he needed.

I wasn't as coherent as I thought I might be when he crawled into bed behind me, slipped an arm under my neck and pressed his body to mine, a sigh coming from his lips as his forehead dipped, and he nestled his face in the curve of my neck. Happy to have his strong warmth wrapped around me, I let my eyes drift, my mind shut down and the darkness take over.

~~~~~  
Peaceful bliss was nowhere near what hoped for, but the door swinging open at whatever hour of the night it was, slamming against the wall, and the bootheels of the older Winchester stomping across the floor was something I could certainly have done without.

"Sammy!" Dean growled. Okay, so it was meant to be protective and worried and as it shook me from sleep, it also brought up a weird heat in the pit of my stomach. My eyes blinked open, taking in the empty bed across from me as I lay on my stomach, fully wrapped up in the thin sheet, which was good because Dean would have gotten full view of my backside if I wasn't. His voice became tender as he leaned closer to the bed. "Sammy?"

"Dean," Sam's deep sleep voice questioned as I felt him shift on the bed. I wanted to turn my head, but I was still locked in a half-awake state that only let me see what was right in front of me. "Dean, what are you doing in here."

"Sammy," Dean whispered, as if relief has washed over him and I decided to chance rolling over. "Jesus Christ, man."

Sam was out of bed, and had somehow managed to get his jeans on before his brother locked his arms around him, holding him tightly. Dean's hand was on the back of his head, gripping Sam's hair, but even Sam's arms were more relaxed in the hold than Dean's as his green eyes came down to rest on me. The older one's lips parted as he breathed and pushed Sam back, his eyes going down the length of his brother, looking for any signs of damage.

I heard the soft clearing of a throat and turned back over to see Danni holding what looked like a tank and some boyshorts, apparently unimpressed with my lack of clothing and I snatched them from her, pulled a sweet move and managed to get dressed without the sheet falling down, but when I stood, it did nothing for the eyes that roamed over me.

I took a deep breath, grabbed a new pair of jeans and hopped into them, forgoing the bra that was around there somewhere and I moved to stand against the dresser, watching the annoyed face of Sam as I smiled. Yeah, my older sibling didn't seem to think a once over was needed if I was in bed with someone at the asscrack of Dawn and not in a hospital.

"What were you thinking, Sam?" Dean finally gruffed and I knew that was coming. Sam looked at me, which got Dean to look at me and his jaw clenched. Okay, yeah like this was totally all my idea! "I knew it! I knew I couldn't leave the two of you alone. Seriously, I take off for one night and this is what you do? You go after a Phoenix?"

"Dean, I've been hunting alone just as long as you have, I made a judgment call. I'm not nine anymore, I don't need you to hand me a gun and teach me about monsters." Sam clarified and his eyes settled on me too. "And no, this wasn't Ali's fault, this was my call."

"And it was a stupid one. Cas told me what happened, he told me how they found you!" Dean snapped and then shook his head. "Did you even think to call me?"

"Have you checked your phone? I called you five damned times, and left a dozen text messages!" Well, I could see this was going to go over well. "We knew how to kill it, we knew just what we were doing to bring it down."

"How? How did you know?" Dean put his back to me but I could feel Sam's eyes still locked on me and I closed my eyes, I knew what was coming and it was going to be as the younger one thought.

"Ali had a dream." Sam stated. I watched the muscles in Dean's back tighten at those words and slowly his body turned, hands on his hips, scowl on his face before the he managed to take a deep breath and blink, probably the longest blink I had ever seen.

"Ali," he nodded, and I found myself looking at him as if to say _again, not my fault_ , but I just shrugged. "You went in full-barrel because _ALI_ had a dream."

"Dean, she woke up with burn marks on her." This softened the older Winchester's features, but only a little, before his lips pursed in irritation and he glanced back at Sam. "I know it sounds completely nuts but I believed her and that's really all that matters. I went with my gut Dean!"

The repetitive sound of his name was something Sam knew he needed to hear, the vibration of it rolling off his tongue as a way to center and ground Dean, to make him understand that yeah the younger one was there and nothing was wrong. It had taken me a long while to understand that dynamic of them but the more Dean heard his name from Sam, the calmer he had become, the more reassured that his brother was truly alright.

"Rules, Sammy! Rules, we never go in alone and we don't go in half-cocked!" Dean lectured, but Sam just smiled. "What?"

"Dude, you do that all the time. Bust in, guns blazing, nothing but the bullets and the demon blade against the world. You can't tell me you don't and you can't stand there and let in on me for something you've done a hundred times in the past." Sam retorted and I had to smile because Sam was right. That smile faded when Dean turned in my direction.

"What the hell are you grinning about? You got him into this!" he tried to snap at me, but his voice was filled with concern, like the fact that not only had Sam been in danger but I had too finally just hit him. "Next time you have a dream, stow it! Sit on it a while and get some evidence that it isn't a crock before you send the two of you into something you can't walk away from."

"Seriously?" I laughed, which got Dean to turn fully, giving him my complete attention. "I think I forgot my rubber boots somewhere because the bull is getting pretty deep in here. Sam's right, you go in headlong before you even know what you're facing, don't tell me that I can't do the same."

"You're insane!" he growled, closing the distance as he stood over me.

"Yeah, and you love every second of it!" I bared my teeth as if that was going to do anything to the guy who stood a foot taller than me except piss him off. "You're just mad that you weren't there, that you didn't get to put an end to it yourself and you know what, that's fine, you be that way, but don't tell me how to do my job!"

"Your _job_?" he laughed. "Ali, your job is to be at home with your kids, not roaming the countryside looking for monsters!"

"So that's how you really see me, some little damsel that needs to be kept safe, barefoot with a dishrag in hand, pretending to be helpless?" I shook my head at him, went to slip by, but I forced out the words that were really what I wanted to say. "Screw you, Winchester!"

With that, I moved over towards the door and sat down, closed my eyes for just a second and grabbed my shoes. Nope, I wasn't staying in here listening to whatever line of _I'm the older one, I make the rules_ that Dean was playing.

I grabbed the large flannel that was draped across the chair, slipped it on and turned towards the door as the arguing continued. With everything I had, I flung the door open and walked outside. Dean was mad that Sam and I had taken on the monster ourselves, that was fine, I was good with that, but being told that I should be home with my kids when I knew damn well they were perfectly safe was something I didn't need.

"HEY!" Dean's strict tone stopped me just as I passed the end of the Impala and I turned to look at him.

"What's your deal?" I snapped back.

"What's my deal?" his voice took on a low tone. "You and my high strung brother leapt headlong into a fight against a monster you _dreamed_ you could stop and she nearly guts him but you wanna know what's my deal?" He closed the distance as he stared, leaving only the space of a breath between us as those green eyes burrow into my soul. "He could have died, and you could have gotten hurt."

"Wouldn't have happened," I replied softly.

"You're that just cocky that you actually believe that, don't you?"

"Dean, I'm not new at this."

"Bullcrap!" he wanted to reach out, I could see his hands flexing for it and as much as I wanted him too, I thought I might punch him if he touched me. "You're so green, it's not even time to pick you yet."

"Your analogies… SUCK!" I turned to walk away from him, moved into the fading darkness as the sun threatened to peak over the building and I felt his hand around my upper arm. He stopped me dead in my tracks, which got me to face him as I swung my hand, but it met only with his shoulder as he brought his hand up to land against my cheek at the same time his lips pressed against mine. I breathed him in, letting the warmth flow through me for just a moment before I pushed him back. "I told you not to do that anymore."

I could feel his chest rise and fall against me as he tried to catch whatever emotions were whipping through him at the moment and the hand on my face moved up to tangle in my hair as he pulled me against his chest. I wanted to fight, wanted to pull away but I knew that I needed this as much as he did, to know something solid was there. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes, my hand over his beating heart.

I felt his nose against my hair, breathing in deeply as his lips kissed the top of my head. "You smell like Sammy."

"And you smell like sex!" I growled, the thought of it brought me back to earlier that night when Sam held me tightly, and I tried to move so those arms wouldn't be around me. "You need a shower."

"I can't let you go yet." he said softly and I let my hand come around his waist. "I don't get it, whatever this thing is with Danni, it's intense but you, I need to know you're okay."

"I'm fine, Dean, really." I pushed back, leaning my head to look into his eyes, "and yeah you and Danni were always intense but don't fight it just to figure out us. I already told you what was going on between you and me, now you need to concentrate on her."

"Why didn't you wait for me?" His voice was low, still full of the concern he held and I shook my head.

"Honestly, I don't know." I did step back this time, and he let me, but I didn't release his gaze. "Whatever is giving me these visions, whatever power I have to know how to kill these monsters, Dean it used you and Sam to get at me again, but this time, you tried to kill me, and Sam was already dead."

"I would…" he stopped his fists clenching against my shirt, "I would never hurt you. You know that right?"

"Until you remember it all, don't be so sure."

"I wish you wouldn't say that." He took his hands from me, sighed and finally released all of me, a gesture that had him grimacing, like the space between us hurt, and I understood because it was like a painful hum, almost like the feeling of a tattoo gun at points. "I wish you would understand no matter what you do, I'm not going to ever hurt you."

"I know it wasn't you, Dean," I shook my head. "I know it wasn't Sam in that pool either, but it felt real, and when your hands were around my…" I choked up for the first time and looked away as I ground my teeth together, trying hard not to let the emotions out, before looking back at him, I watched his eyes go anywhere but mine and I took a breath. "Please understand that I knew what I was doing, and I didn't mean for Sam…" Oh, god did I hate words at the moment, and I sniffled as I put my hands on my hips, shaking my head. "It doesn't matter, in the end, it is what it is."

I tapped my hand against my thigh and turned, walking away. I know I saw a diner somewhere close and I needed a coffee, screw the lack of bra.

Danni found me about thirty minutes later, my elbow on the sticky table, hand up in my hair, as I sat with a coffee in one hand staring out the window. She slid into the other seat, casually as if there were nothing in the world for her to do except order a coffee. As the waitress placed the mug in front of her, I happened to look over, taking in her wet hair, the blush to her cheeks and I stifled a smiled but she saw it in my eyes.

"Yes, if you're going to ask, yes it certainly went there." She said proudly as she grabbed at the sugar packets. "My question would be though, why did he kiss you in the parking lot."

My breath hitched, as my memories went back to the beating she had given me just on the thought of that alone and I sat up, put both hand on the table, again open for the swing, but all I gave her was a shake of my head.

"I told you Dean and I had always been… complicated… this time around, it just seemed to be even more so." I growled, not even an excuse just a fact and I closed my eyes. "If it's anything remotely apologetic, I tell him to stop, he tells me he wants you… not that I get his logic."

"I don't think anyone gets Dean Winchester, let alone you or me." She was fuming under the surface and I really needed her to not hide it, because the last person I wanted keeping things quiet was her. "You know, if I were me a day or so ago, I'd deck you."

"It wouldn't be the first time," I smiled and brought the coffee to my lips, taking a long drink of the still hot liquid. "You did it in Virginia."

"Really, why?"

"You thought I kissed Dean, you wanted to know why I wouldn't just admit that we wanted to be together."

"And now?" Her blue eyes settled on me as she paused in her coffee prep. "Do you want him?"

"Honestly, I don't know what I want." I shrugged. "I do know that I don't want him that way, and yeah you keep saying that I shouldn't be too sure, but… I know my body wants Sam, my heart wants them both, but not in the same fashion."

"Okay, you are totally confusing me," she whispered shaking her head. I raised a brow and turned back to the window.

"Welcome to the story of my life." I replied just above audible and closed my eyes.

"So why are you sitting here?"

I pffted, "Dean telling me I should be home with my kids? I mean, come on, when do you ever remember me holding a dishrag, let alone doing the dishes?" I growled and listened to her laugh.

"Once maybe, when you were fed up after work." She admitted.

"Not helping," I brought my stare over to her and watched as she gave a slight shrug of her shoulders. "It's like he doesn't even know me but both of them know me just as deeply as you."

"Um, I would say Sam knows you a little bit more than that." Danni laughed and watched my expression drop, something she got a laugh at. "Yeah, my guess would be that one knows you inside and out."

"Okay," I smirked, "enough with skirting around the topic." I glanced back out the window and sighed.

"It's not the boys that have you over here sulking, so what's going on?" Oh she knew me way too well, this one, and I took a deep breath, set my eyes and looked at her.

I paused for a moment, let that breath out and watched as her gaze turned curious and confused.

"Danni, there's a darkness in me," I whispered.

Her eyes went flat and she opened up to an admission. "That's not really a problem, there's a darkness in everyone, Ali, not anything that makes you special."

I grabbed her hand, let the power that I felt building up flow through me and I watched it flash across my eyes, knowing they had gone dark, or a vibrant blue, or something that she could see because she sat back in shock.

"Oh, I think it is," I replied, "it's definitely a problem, because I think I like it."


	95. DH Remembrance - 29

**Chapter 29**

Hot Tub Time Machine

Danni sat back in the seat, brows raised, but worry in her eyes as I leaned forward on the table. She had seen the power go through me, got a glimpse of what I could do with it, not personally but I know she could feel it and I took a deep breath.

"Do you know what you look like to me? I mean, when the power comes through?" I questioned and watched as she shook her head, a little taken back. "You look like Cas, bright whitish-blue light with a bit of smoky trails running through you. The smoke is your darkness, and as much as you think there's a lot, there's not. Even Dean has some, he's the same as you, light and dark mixed, but nothing like Sam," I rolled my eyes as I thought of him, the delicious way his lips felt on my skin, and Iicked my own, trying to control my breathing. "He's red, like the way the blood pumps through your body, but his smoke runs so much darker."

"Okay, Sally, let's not do this here before you start going into spasms." Danni's lips went tight as she slipped out of the seat and grabbed my hand. The electric shock that hummed through us at that touch made her drop mine automatically as she looked at me. The only thing I could do was smirk. "What the hell, Ali?"

"Exactly." I shrugged, "light and dark, Danni, a balance between the elements, I just don't think it's as balanced as they think."

"Come on, let's go back to the boys," she ordered without touching me and I placed a ten on the table before sliding out to stand beside her. The two of us stared for just a moment before she headed out of the diner with me not far behind.

"The boys are going to be pissed," I whispered before we got too far. Danni stopped, gave me a classic Dean move and rolled her whole head instead of just her eyes before she turned back to me, annoyed. "Really, you wanna walk into a Winchester/Campbell show down and not have coffee?"

"Point taken." She sighed and we marched back to the diner.

Upon entering the room, Christian's this time, with four mugs of coffee in hands, four sets of eyes landed on us and I watched as Cas' narrowed his, Christian looked over Danni to make sure nothing was out of place before he glanced at me. Sam's eyes did the same but opposite and Dean, he just kind of looked at the floor hoping to avoid any kind of confrontation, but I had to pass him to get to Sam, so I ran my fingers along his arm, across his stomach and gave him a quick smile before I melted into Sam's arms.

"So, what's our plan for today?" Danni questioned, handing out the coffees and I watched with curiosity as she stopped at Dean, her body close and their eyes searched each other's before he took the cup, brushing his fingers tenderly along hers.

"I remember you said a body and us in the same place wasn't a good thing." I chimed in, but was still caught up in the interchange between them. It was truly fascinating to me, and apparently also to Sam, whose fingers brushed along the back of my neck, over the curve of his favorite spot, down around the back, just barely brushing my tattoo before he landed on the other side and those fingers came up to my hair, who was caught in the way they exchanged glances. I could have purred like a kitten right then but I calmed myself as Castiel set his sights on me again.

"I found out some things that I believe we need to discuss." Cas spoke up, which made me turn and look at him. Cas wanting to talk about anything was not at all good. "But I agree, bodies and hunters in the same location is not the most ideal situation."

"So what? Summerford is eight hours away," Christian shrugged, "you got a better place to do this?"

"Actually, yes," the angel's blue eyes scanned the five of us before landing on me. "There's a safe house just south of here. The angels used to use it to keep watch over the hunters in the area, but it's been abandoned for many years. It's heavily warded against pretty much anything."

"A safe house," Sam growled, "great." Sarcasm bled through his excitement and I couldn't help but smile as I leaned back on him. "Well, let's pack it up."

As if the huddle broke, I was curious to see how this all happened. Danni and Christian worked on cleaning up the room they had rented but I followed the Winchesters back to the one next door, stood in the doorway and watched as they packed in silence.

Part of me wanted them to remember, to be angry with me again, but as I followed their movements I realized that I never wanted to lose them. I took a deep breath, one that caught Dean's attention and he put down his jeans, and moved closer.

"What?" He asked softly, and I closed my eyes. I felt the light touch of his fingers on my cheek before I let my eyes open again.

"Running…" I whispered, staring up to his green ones, "again." My gaze flickered over to Sam. "I'm so tired of running."

"It's the way of the job, Kid, not much more we can do." He sighed, aggravation in his voice, and his other hand came up to cup my cheek as well, tipping my head back as he stepped closer, taking the space between us away. "Listen, if I had my choice, you and those kids would be tucked away at the bunker, but that ain't going to happen until we figure this all out."

"You'd hate that," I smiled, leaning into his touch, "three teenagers stuck in an underground base with miles of halls and endless rooms. Oh, they would be loud and obnoxious…"

"And part of you, and smartass little whips that would put me and Sam in our place when it came to you, and you're wrong," his voice went deep and sweet as he took a breath, "I would love it."

He let me go, went back to grabbing what he could and packing it up. My eyes went to Sam, who was doing one of his sly half-smiles as his eyes watched me from the corner of his vision. I knew I was wrong about it with him too, as much as Sam wasn't the father figure type, he would definitely enjoy the noise of the kids, the way they took over and I knew he would fall into them, much like I would love them to fall into him.

I nodded, grabbed my first-in bag, and the other duffel I had thrown my clothes into before I headed out to the Impala. It amazed me, when I thought back on it, how much I never really unpacked, how easily I lived out of my bags. Sam dropped his bags at my feet, startling me out of the daze I had been in while staring at the black shine on the trunk of the car.

"Ali?" he whispered, his lips close to my ear and I took in a deep breath, bringing in the woods and air, the smell of his body wash and I closed my eyes.

"There is something so wrong with me," I sighed and shook my head, but that brought his arms around me, his chest against my cheek as he held me tightly. "I can't hold back this feeling, like there is something crawling under my skin, like I'm ready to jump from a moving car, like I need to run, but I don't know where too."

"I think you have an idea, or you wouldn't be so ready to throw yourself into it." He mumbled against my forehead. "I have a feeling you know just where you need to be."

"It's not a good place, Sam," I admitted, "not at all where I would expect you to follow."

"I would follow you anywhere, so would Dean and Danni, especially Danni," I backed away from him.

"We… I…" I growled at the lack of words and just sighed. "Danni is complicated, it's like I finally found her but she's just a grasp out of reach, like there is no way to pull her back in, not close enough to understand what she's been through, or get a real grasp of anything. Just like you and Dean."

"Dean and I are fine, Ali, and we will be right beside you all the way." I wanted to let the anger out because he didn't know that, he didn't know yet what I knew, and I took a deep breath as Dean came out to stand beside him.

"Hey," he looked between us, "you okay?"

"No," I whispered, slipped out of Sam's arms and grabbed my bag, at least the first-in one, before turning towards the backseat of the car. "No, I'm not."

Without another word, I slipped into the car, let the bag fall to the floor as I stretched out on the seat and leaned my head back on the glass. I caught the movements of the boys, of Sam using his hands to explain something to Dean, of Dean crossing his arms, his lips going tight before he sighed and shook his head. Yeah nonverbal might have been their way, but expressions on them told me everything. I was only going to hurt them both if I continued.

 _Cas, I'm losing._ I whispered, letting the wave of thoughts out to him and I felt the tingle of his warmth against my mind. _I'm going to lose them both, and her, and I can't do anything to fix it._

 _You're not alone._ His gravelly voice answered and I held back a smile because Cas sounded like Cas even in my thoughts. _Let's get to the safehouse, I may be able to explain some of what's going on, but we need to move soon. I have a feeling our window of opportunity is closing._

I looked up as he ducked down to peek in the window, just before he opened the door and slid in the backseat with me. An angel riding in the backseat, but he grabbed my legs, slid under them and placed them back against his thighs as Danni waved to me. I smiled and gave her a wave back before slipped into the Mustang, Christian riding shotgun and cranked that baby over.

Sam moved towards the passenger side, and Dean to the driver's as they both seemed to climb in at the exact same moment, closing both doors simultaneously before Dean started her up. Baby, and the sound and feel of her, could calm my nerves at any time, and with it rumbling below me, I closed my eyes, letting the feel of Cas' invisible wall surround me, while Dean backed out of the parking spot.

I had them all, for the most part, all the parts of me that had gone missing were now beside me, in front of me, following in the car behind, but I couldn't fight the feeling that something bad was about to happen now that we were all together. It was like an ache in my chest, a fire in my heart, one that I couldn't control and for the life of me, i couldn't figure out why I wanted to. With a deep breath, I let it go, and sunk into that feeling that I was weightless as Baby rocked down the road.

It was the gentle coaxing of a thumb on the side of my ankle that brought me out of the dreamless sleep I had sunk into and when I opened my eyes, taking in a deep breath of some woodland air, which flowed through the open windows of the car, I saw Cas sitting where he had been when I fell asleep, staring out ahead of him, lost in thought and movement.

The rhythmic gesture of his thumb in time with the flow of his breath told me that whatever trance he was in, it was a thinking one. I had picked up on some of his habits the last few months, one being that if he was deep in thought, his breathing evened out, and some part of him was moving, usually his foot or his fingers. But, it was a little different this time, because as soon as I uncrossed my arms, opening up to the fact that we had stopped and the area we were now parked in surrounded us with lush green trees, his eyes were on me and not focused on his inner ramblings anymore.

"How long have I been out?" I whispered and watched those bright blue eyes turn to me.

"Several hours," he replied softly, stoically. "It was Sam and Dean's wish to wake you, but I know how much you need this, and Ali, I'm concerned."

"Yeah," I smiled, "well, that makes two of us."

"Seriously, with the amount of energy you took in from the Phoenix, the repercussions of that could be…"

"Moodiness, lack of sleep, a sudden need for coffee, and an angel up my ass?" I growled and watched as a small smirk crossed his face.

"The first two of those would seem sufficient enough for an explanation."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, taking his hand as I sat up, "I know that what I did was stupid, but…"

"It _was_ stupid."

"Well, don't sugarcoat anything, Cas." I sighed, not that I was angry at him, because I was used to his blunt nature, I just took a deep breath and shook my head. "I'm trying to understand, trying to separate what I know and what I imagined."

"What do you know?"

" _Sam wants to fix me," I stated and shrugged, watched as his eyes came back up to mine and locked on blue for blue. "What if there's nothing to fix? I mean, what if this is just who I am, who I've always been?"_

" _You're…" he started but his lips thinned as he thought about it, glancing around the alley before he came back to look me in the eyes again. "You're not darkness, Ali, you're not a creature of evil, it's not in your nature."_

" _Funny, it feels awfully natural to me."_

The memory was just a blink, but it was something that Cas was there for. I heard the angel sigh, his hand running over mine and then suddenly his hands were on my face. My vision faded out as I slipped into another one, this one so much more bloody.

 _I decided I don't really like Lenny, and I moved quickly, faster than they could see and stuck that blade in him so far that the guard touched his blood-soaked shirt. His face was one of pure shock that I had gotten the jump on him but as I watched him light up, seeing everything that made him, bones, muscles, blood, I shrugged._

" _You should really be nice and not call people names." I hissed through clenched teeth and back away just the demon dusted out of him and his body crumpled to the ground. Admiring the work that the blade did, I was reminded of Dean's own demon blade, but my thoughts were interrupted by the other two in the room._

 _I turned on them, ready for a fight and smiled. The dance was simple, this time, because the blade seemed to do all the work, slice and jab, slice, twirl, jab. Just the tip until was time and then I thrust it in, and they got their licks as well, once across my jaw, the other to the stomach, but it didn't stop me, dazed me a bit, but didn't stop me from moving._

 _Moe went down rather fast, of course a knife to the back of the neck would do that to you if you fumbled on your feet and tripped past someone with said knife, but George seemed to be more of a challenge. We circled each other, his angel blade against my God Killer, not sure who was more well-armed but it didn't matter, I was done playing, I just wanted to go back to the couch and rest._

 _He came at me, swung, missed and I caught him across the chest with the blade. He turned, swiped, catching the tip of the angel blade across my upper arm, which stung and didn't heal, and which pissed me off as I turned and jabbed at him again, catching his gut, but still not deep enough. It was a game, a tiring game that I was done with and as he ran at me once more, thrusting his blade forward, I caught his arm under mine and brought the blade up under his jaw._

 _His eyes were full of horror that such a little thing had gotten him, but as his eyes locked on me, at the blood dribbled from his mouth. I shook my head._

" _Tell Crowley, he can go to hell." I growled but then remembered that this demon wasn't going back. "Never mind," I ripped the blade from him and watched as he lit up like a candle. "I'll tell him myself."_

 _George fell into a lifeless heap on the ground, and I let my hand fall to the side, the blade suddenly weighing more than I could carry and I let my head drop forward, the red haze clearing from my vision as I took in a deep breath. Sounds and smells surrounded me and I figured out that I was standing not only behind a bar, but one that was in Old Town, and the smell of burgers filled the air._

I pulled back from Cas, my body shaking with power and I closed my eyes, trying to control the feelings that flowed through me. I let out a moan, one that was a mixture of sexual tension and complete irritation, but Cas responded to it nonetheless. Maybe it was the porn, or my hand on his thigh but he moved quickly back as I felt the power flash through me.

Taking a quick swallow, I set my sights on something outside the Impala, away from the staring blue oceans of the Angel, gathered my thoughts and suddenly exited the car, shoeless. I moved towards the woods at a cheetah's pace, but not fast enough for the arms that suddenly wrapped around my waist.

"Whoa there, Tiger." Dean chuckled in my ear as he literally picked me up off my feet, but I fought against him, instinct kicking is as the image of those demons dead at my feet seemed to slip through my mind. "Hey! Ali! Stop." Not sure how he managed to do it, but the next thing I knew, I was on the ground and facing him as his stared down into my eyes. "Stop! Whatever is going on in your head, you need to make it stop!"

"I don't know if I can," I whispered, my hands coming up to grasp his, "I don't know if I want to. I know it all, Dean, I know everything I've done, did I tell you that, did I tell you that I remembered?"

"It doesn't matter," he snapped back, the irritation in his eyes told me that he was done with this game. "None of what happened in June matters, not to me, okay, so just get that out of your damned thick skull now."

"It does, Dean, it really does."

He moved in close, his eyes narrowed as his lips hovered a breath from mine. "NO! It doesn't."

With that, he backed away, his skin leaving mine, his touch letting go and I felt my heart give out almost the same time as my knees did. I hit the ground hard, knees against rock and I let my hand rest on it before I face planted in the dirt. The world around me spun as I heard only my own breathing, the thump of my own heart before I was able to calm everything and finally look up.

Dean crouched down in front of me, his green eyes locked on mine as I glanced at the people behind him. Sam stood just to his left, the closest to me, fist clenched as Dean's hand lowered, which had stopped the younger one from getting to my side. Danni moved up, looking over Dean's shoulder as Christian also stepped up, all of them looking down at me. Cas moved closer, catching my sights as I closed my eyes and lowered my head.

Dean reached out, brushed my hair just a little catching my attention again, and my gaze traveled up to watch him fold his hands together. "You may fall, Ali, but you'll never fall alone, not with us here."

My vision refused to focus as I stood and tried to catch my balance, and Cas was by my side in an instant, but Dean was right, but I might never be alone, and that was why I had to stand on my own. I raised my hand, stopping in his tracks as he reached out for me and took a deep breath. He watched me, making sure I was steady on my feet before he turned and gestured with his hand to have me walk. I knew he would be right beside me the whole time and while that reassured me, I still needed to steady my own body as I made my way inside.

Once we had all entered the cabin, I watched the angel move around the room, his whispers were only in Enochian and while I could recite it without issue now, I couldn't make out just what he was saying. As he hit the door, the wall to my right, the discomfort in my head started. When he hit the back wall, I felt a wrenching in my gut, as he approached the wall to my left, every muscle in my body tensed but when he finally made it back to his starting point, I was able to breath normally and for a moment, I noticed the angry, the violence and the darkness in me had faded.

Cas moved to stand in front of me, taking a deep breath before he sat on the coffee table, something thick and sturdy enough to handle his six-foot frame and he looked from me to Sam, who sat to my right, Dean who took up the arm on my left, Danni against his shoulder and Christian who took up the back, leaning against the table.

"I believe the Woman in Black that is following Ali around is a tulpa." Cas announced. Dean looked at him as if he had three heads and Sam just shook his.

"How can it be a tulpa, isn't that a thought-form?" Dean asked, his hand going to the back of the couch to rest right behind my neck, and I could feel his fingers gently rubbing the skin there.

"Yeah we dealt with one before and you have nothing on you that has anything to do with it." Sam replied, "so where exactly did you come up with a tulpa from?"

Cas cleared his throat and spoke up, "Ali had me look into a symbol, one that she spotted on the woman, I clearly remembered it but I wasn't sure from where, so I researched and I came up with it. Unfortunately, the origin of whatever created it is still a mystery to me and I didn't have the chance to continue with my investigation, at least not since the phoenix."

"Symbol?" Dean questioned, crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, "what symbol?"

"Well besides the brand on her neck, there was one that was on her wrist, think about it when did she show up? When I was almost knocked out by the Night Hag." And I watch Dean. "The next time she showed up I was in the bathroom in the bathtub and she left marks on my skin. So that makes me think somehow she had gotten stronger. The third time was right outside the motel where we were staying. Dean saw her that time. The next time was Sam, with the marks on his chest. So, if she's gone from my thoughts to physical what else could she possibly be?"

"She was close enough for you to see this and you're just bringing it up now?" Dean growled. "Why didn't you tell us? We could have helped figure this out a long time ago."

"I didn't need you to figure it out, Dean, I needed you right where you were. Having you on this would have been just like having you on another case. Since we've been together we have had one case after another, right from the jump. I needed you with me, not chasing ghosts." He stopped at those words, shook his head and drew his lips thin.

"Chasing ghosts, well, it's kind of what I do." He said softly, before I rolled my eyes and looked away from him.

"Okay so say she is a tulpa, where did she come from?" Sam asked as shifted on the couch, but my eyes were locked on Cas.

"The only thing we can think of, or the only thing I can possibly think of, is an event that you have yet to remember." Cas sighed but I knew exactly what he was talking about, and with a small shake of my head, I warned him against giving too much information, but it had Dean shifting in the seat turning his full body to look at me.

"What exactly aren't you telling us?" He asked me, with a demanding tone in his voice.

"There's a lot of stuff that you don't know, remember I told you that I know all of it. But Dean," I reached out and touched his hand in need of that contact, "there are things that you won't understand."

"Why don't you stop telling me what I won't get and start telling me what I want to know." He snapped leaning down so that his eyes were locked to mine.

"It's not that easy, Winchester," I whispered and leaned up towards him, only to feel Sam's arm sneak around my waist pulling me back. I let Dean's eyes linger on mine for just a little bit longer before I turn back to Cas. "So, okay it's a tulpa, do we know how to get rid of it?"

"As I was saying, the only place I can think of it to be drawn is there". His eyes were locked on mine, not including anybody else in this conversation. "My worry is that when we get to that point, it'll be too strong to destroy."

"So she was right," I whispered and watch Cas' eyes narrow. "I have to go back to where it all started."

"To Ohio?" Christian's spoke up and Cas raised an eyebrow. For a moment I debated on correcting him, but I decided against that and nodded.

"London seems the obvious choice." Cas agreed, but the look on Sam's face, and the exchange between the brothers told me that neither one of them believed a word that was coming from either of us, and that was fine with me as long as it kept them safe.

I stood, a momentary feeling of dizziness took over, and I moved to the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I took a moment to take a deep breath before I walked over to the sink, turn the water on, and splash my face with the cool water. I look up into the mirror in my memory faded back to that night. The one night that I wasn't sure if it was me talking or my fear.

 _Dean was out like a light, he had it moved since I brought him into the warehouse. The smell of produce and refrigeration, and the nasty odor of soil seem to buzz my senses. The man I had tricked into getting into my car was now tied to an old chair, and as he slumbered under my spell, I moved in a circle chanting under my breath._

 _It wasn't a perfectly round circle, but it would do, taking up most of the room that I was holding Dean in. I was waiting for him to wake up, waiting for him to see exactly where we were, because this was where it would all end. As I danced around, making the strange little symbols with my feet, and invisible force field that would keep in the very monster I hope to capture, my eyes gazed over the only other person in the room._

 _He had kept me sane, safe, and for all that I loved him, but I also hated him because he wouldn't do the simple thing that I asked. He wouldn't end the darkness that grew inside me, and as much as this was a ploy, part of me wanted the words that I was about to say to him to be true. I made my way around the circle up to the five points in back and in between the strange symbols, I stepped and danced my own._

 _Part of it remain open, a part of the circle that would allow me to exit and enter without being trapped in my own well, trap. Somewhere on the outside Sam and Danni were setting their own, a way to keep the demons out once we had their leader in place and I knew somewhere in this building the King of Hell was playing his own game._

 _Once I was done with the warding that I needed to do, I found myself sitting down and a small bench and watching him. I was watching Dean Winchester wake up and part of me couldn't wait to see his eyes while the other part wonder just how he would react the ropes._

The bang on the door had me jumping place, and my grip on the porcelain sink tightened. I wanted to move, wanted to back away and know just who was banging on the door but I also wanted to stay, and lose myself in the memories that were coming back full force. I knew about Winchester, I knew about the warehouse, the cabin, and Old Town. I knew just how everything started and how everything ended but I couldn't share it with anyone.

The door swung wide not waiting for my answer, and I looked at the woman who stood against the sill. Danni crossed her arms, looked at me as I held on for dear life, and took a step in.

"You're going to have to come out sooner or later, you're going to have to talk about it." She smiled.

"Not in a bathroom, not locked in some Angel warded cabin that's giving me a damn headache, and certainly not in front of those boys." I stepped up to her, the warding setting my body on edge and I took a breath. "Come outside with me."

"If it's going to get you to talk, I'll go anywhere." She smiled at me, and I just shook my head because that was an innuendo that I wasn't going to touch. I heard her giggle as I walked by, and look up a Cas.

"Bring the warding down," I pleaded softly, and watch his eyes go over me, before they looked up a Danni. "We'll be safe, she'll be safe, I promise."

"Ali, this is a…" but I raise my hand stopping him mid-sentence.

"If you say bad idea I'll step on your toes!" And he gave me a little grin before he leaned down to my ear.

"Are you even tall enough to reach my toes?" And I slapped him with the back of my hand. Yeah, too much time with me was wearing on the angel, especially if he was cracking jokes like that. "What do you want me to do with the three of them?"

"I don't know, tie them up with some Angel Mojo." I shrug, and watched Danni step up beside me. I turned and walked up to Sam, grab them by the shirt, and pulled them down so that I only had to go up on my tiptoes to kiss him. He smiled at me, holding his kiss at bay, and I growled at being denied. "Danni and I are going outside, Cas will have his ears on, you won't have to worry."

"I always worry Ali," he smile, "it's just what I do." Sam lean down kiss me softly the lips as his fingers dug into my waist. He whispered against them, "don't go far."

I backed away from him, winked and walk towards the door my hand the running over Dean's back as I passed him. He was deep in a quiet conversation in the Danni, probably making sure that the two of us knew the rules of not wander far, not to go into the woods, not to walk away with strange men, or wield any specifically dangerous knives. You know all the normal girlfriend rules. And I shook my head at the thought of that word. Girlfriend!

He glanced at me, taking his eyes from Danni's for just a second to look me over before I slipped out the door and waited for her just on the other side.

My first thought was how long it really would take the boys to get restless enough to come outside looking for us, my second thought was how funny they would look as the two of us were just sitting on the roof of the Impala while they were in a panic.

Oh this was going to be fun!


	96. DH Remembrance - 30

**Chapter 30**

On Some Beach, Somewhere

I met Danni out by the car, since she took her sweet ass time getting there because of Handsy Dean, who right at that moment was looking out the window, eyes locked on mine. I don't know if I was jealous or not, but I knew one thing for sure, I couldn't keep going like this. I wanted Sam, I wanted Dean, next thing you know I'd be wanting Cas.

Ooh, Cas… I thought back to when the two of us were alone in Massachusetts, his strong arms around me, the quick chaste way he kissed me, the feel of his wings even though I couldn't remember them. I closed my eyes and pushed back those emotions because darkness be damned I wasn't going to let it take over how I felt for one of my closest friends.

Danni moved up beside me, leaning against the Impala as I opened my eyes and groaned low, just loud enough for her to hear me, and she crossed her arms.

"Is it that bad?" She whispered.

"And getting worse." I mumbled and pushed off the car. The two of us began to move, just a little circle around the driveway, which was big enough to fit more than fifteen cars parked awkwardly at some strange angles and while she kept those arms crossed, like a bodyguard walking on the outside of it, I had my hands stuffed in my pockets.

"Okay, so what did you want to tell me out here that you couldn't tell me in front of the boys?" I stopped and put my back to the cabin, lowered my head as I took a deep breath and then glanced up at her through my lashes.

"I know where it began, I know where the tulpa sigil is." I whispered to her, not that the boys were close enough to hear me at all, but her eyes locked on mine as I said this.

"Okay," she said softly, "spill."

"Winchester, Virginia, where their dad died." I replied and watched her face go slack. Yep, just the reaction I had expected. "We fought the demon there, the hybrid and why the bastard isn't haunting more of my dreams, I don't know. He was one powerful jack-off and he was gunning for me, something to do with this power, but what I do know is that we fought him, you and I and the boys, in some warehouse down there. It was warded to the nines with symbols and we caught him but something must have happened, the Tibetan symbol must have gotten put up by someone. I just don't know who. If she's a Tulpa, then that's where we need to go."

"No!" She snapped, "I'm pretty positive that's where you need to stay away from."

I knew she was going to do that, pull the sister card, play the protector, and I crossed my arms, to hell with the pockets.

"Danni, you don't get it," I spoke softly, no sense on setting her off, "what you've been feeling the last few months, that's because of me, because of the choice I made to end this whole thing with that monster. I chose the God Killer blades, I brought John to his knees, I did this, so if that's where I have to go to end it, that's how it's got to be done."

"Ut-uh," she shook her head, and I rolled my eyes. "Listen, you're not doing this alone. It's not all on you, remember, you told me what happened and I'm pretty positive I was standing there with that other blade shoved into his back. I think the first thing we have to do is regroup, get our shit together and see what we can come up with on this Zane guy that you rattled on about for over a week. That is the one you're talking about, right, the hybrid. He's the reason you're all hopped up on demon juice."

"Yeah and why you can feel people's souls while they're riding a sex high." I snapped back. "Works both ways remember, light and darkness, balanced and unbalanced, so while mine may have laid dormant, yours has been running you wild." I watched the emotions come to her face, ones of confusion and a hint of uncertainty. "What is it?"

"It's Dean," I wanted to roll my eyes, because of course it was the green-eyed pain in my heart. I took a deep breath and glanced behind me, wow, still no Winchesters on the porch, pretty amazing. "I'm starting to feel things, like little shocks when I think of what you told me happened in Virginia, things I'm supposed to remember but mostly… mostly I feel him when he's close."

"What things are you thinking about?" I grew curious as I looked her over.

"Well I know we had a few days without you, a few more without Sam, so there's that," and that sly grin crossed her face.

"Ah, eww!" I shook, and it was all for show because yeah, I had a few days with him without the others but how the hell do you say, _I get his kisses, I really do_ without actually telling someone you kissed him? I ran my hand down the back of my hair, then up through it to spike it before I shook my head. "Okay, icky moment over, go ahead."

"Yeah, I'm sure that little memory trip was icky for you," she raised a brow, looked at me in all seriousness and shook her head. "You can admit it, you know, that you care about him."

"I'm not admitting anything about Dean so, moving on!" I growled and watched her smirk. Even that small little gesture was going to get on my nerves and I knew the power was flaring, almost time to move on again. It seemed being stuck with any people set it off. Any emotions brought about the need for violence. "You were saying something about Dean and a feeling?"

"Yeah the problem now... is Jo." She admitted and I tilted my head a little, brow creased in confusion.

"How is that an issue, two different birds?" I shrugged and her eyes went wide.

"Like those brothers?" her retort was somewhat snippy and I drew my lips tight. "You want them both, you love them both and yet you can only have one. How is that two different birds?"

"One stone," I winked.

"Give me a break." Danni huffed, and I could feel the air thickening around us. Yeah, my body was suddenly craving that and I took a deep breath. "You can't kill them, and you can't have them both, so like I said, how is it two different…"

"Okay, I'm done with the little word play game." I growled, I mean really growled. It came from somewhere deep and I didn't like it, that and it set Danni back on her heels. "Listen, you care about Jo, you're starting to give a shit about Dean, that I get, but I don't see the issue in it, you can't help who you love, Dan, no more than I can so the problem is not who they are, it's what you do with it. Either you choose one or you choose both, either way, it's on you. That's all I got."

"Holy hell, who are you?" She smiled, not a nice joking one either, but an irritated _I could haul off and hit you_ kind of grin. She took a moment to compose herself before she unclenched her fists, and I knew right then I was treading some pretty dangerous waters but at the same time, I didn't care. I loved her, wanted her to know that I would support her but damn did I want to pick a fight. "So what, we're off to Virginia."

"No, like you said, we need to regroup. I say we head to Ohio, like Christian brought up, a few days at the Roadhouse isn't going to kill us," I watched her face go pale. "And you can figure out your issue with your two _birds_ while we're there."

"You know what I should figure out?" She whispered, leaning in towards me, not coming closer, but just leaning and I could feel the energy she let off, it was actually calming but at the same time electrifying. "How to kick your ass without leaving a mark."

"I'd give that a go," I answered and turned to catch her eyes, but that irritated look turned into a playful grin as she bumped my shoulder and walked by.

The smile faded from my face the further away she got, and the feelings of the need for some sort of release took over, I crossed my arms once again, shielding myself from it either getting out or getting in as I tried to breath through it. The presence that seem to sneak up behind me wrapped me in solid comfort as I felt his arms move in.

Sam planted his lips gently on my neck as I let my head tilt, giving him more access, and I closed my eyes, slowly relaxing my arms as the feeling subsided. He breathed into me, took me into him and I followed the movement of his chest with my own, grounding myself as he became the rock I knew he once was, but I couldn't keep putting this on him to control whatever was taking over and my hands came down to lace with his, getting lost in the size of his fingers.

"Danni's worried," he whispered, folding around me, tucking me into him.

"You all should be," I replied, my voice just as soft. "It's so much worse this time, so much stronger, but Cas said it was because of the onset. God, how did you put up with me before?"

"I don't know," he smiled against my skin, a playful response, "I don't remember, but I hope it involves tying you to the bed."

"Well, that seemed to be the going opinion of how to handle it last time, but I'm pretty sure the bunker was involved." I turned in his arms, leaned back against them, knowing I was perfectly safe to do so, that he would hold my weight and I looked up into his eyes. "There has got to be a tree somewhere with our name on it."

"Tree sex is complicated." he grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Not if it's on the ground and I'm bent over it." I answered blatantly and watched his lips part, the rise of his chest moved quickly. He didn't expect that response and I didn't expect to give it but the words had slipped out.

"Don't tempt me," he groaned, putting his forehead against mine, "please."

Oh how I wanted to tempt him, I needed to get him alone and I closed my eyes, letting my fingers dig into the muscle of his lower arms, where they gripped. The need for fast and hard was almost too much, but I didn't want to do that too him, didn't want to bring that darkness out and I sighed, slipped out of his reach and watched as he looked at me with confusion.

"You're right," I whispered, swallowed and met his gaze. "I don't want to tempt you, Sam, I don't want to bring out that side and as much as I need you… so much… I can't."

I moved to walk past him, but he reached out from where he stood and grabbed my arm, pulled me back in and brought his lips down upon mine. It wasn't soft, no not as first, it was pure need, but as he relaxed, as his hand came up and dipped behind my head, running through the hair there and his thumb moved along my cheek, it became tender. I moaned into it, letting him know that he was okay to do what he needed and his lips parted before capturing mine again.

I grasped his shirt, both hands filled with the material so that I didn't dig into his skin like I wanted to, but I became submissive in his arms, let him have control of the kiss as he hummed against me, opening, closing, tasting his way to what was nearly orgasmic as his tongue suddenly dipped between my lips and I pressed into him, his hand coming around to settle on the curve of my back, lower as his fingers dug into my ass.

When he finally let me go, it was in a breathless, heart racing state, and it wasn't just me that felt it, he was standing there, in all his six-foot-plus glory, chest heaving but the look on his face was dangerous, like he needed to let go, as if something was pulling him into something carnal, but the corner of his lip turned up in a grin, one that almost had me in his arms again.

Slowly, he reached out, offering his hand to me and I trusted him enough to grab on. He sighed as I slips my fingers up his palm and let him wrap his around me, before he turned and walk back towards the house, bringing me along.

When we entered, the other four were looking at us as if they were ready to send out a search party, but it was Dean's cautious eyes that were locked on mine, slowly lowering to my kiss-swollen lips and I watched him blink once before he looked away. What the hell was the man doing to himself? What was I doing to him because the next moment I was at his side. Sam smiled, and I noticed he had tugged me closer to his brother, still not letting me go. That was when I reached out, brushing my hand down Dean's back as the two of them whispered quietly, heads together.

The older Winchester tensed at the feeling and his head turned just a little to look at me, wink and move back to the conversation he and his brother were having. Yeah this whole thing could get really dangerous if I let it continue.

Slipping out of Sam's grasp, I made my way towards Cas, locking sight with him as I approached, and it seemed that the angel already knew what was going on, because he hooked his hand around my arm and moved me towards the kitchen as Danni and Christian were lost in conversation.

Cas huddled close, his body blocking me from the view of the others in the room. I looked up to stare into those heavenly blue eyes and saw nothing but the confusion that sat there.

"What are you doing?"

"Besides freaking the hell out, I don't know, Cas!" I answered, reached up and took hold of his tee-shirt. "I can't stop it, whatever it is, and I can't control it. I certainly don't want to hurt Danni so please, tell me what I'm supposed to do with this pull?"

"You found the prophecy then."

"It's not a prophecy, it's a freaking curse, a spell and I don't know who put it on us, but I have to find a way to break it." I snapped, and felt his hand come up to gently remove my hold on him. "For both of their sake, Cas, I have to get rid of it."

"You need to stop worry about them and start concentrating on yourself, Ali, their memories will come back in due time, but you, I'm afraid are already feeling the effects of the ones you gained." Cas took a breath, reached up and pressed his fingers against my temple. It wasn't a loving gesture, although it was soft and caring, but it was a way for him to find out just how deep the issue of my past went. With a sigh, he pulled back and bit down on his bottom lip, worrying it just a little, a very human thing for him to do. "It's getting worse, isn't it?"

"Outside, I changed the air around Danni, I pulled her into a confrontation." I admitted and closed my eyes for just a moment. "I pulled on Sam's need, my need and almost…" I stopped as I thought of what I had wanted to do before I opened my eyes and took a breath. "Danni stepped closer and it faded, would that have to do with the balance, light with dark, and if that's the case would it be the same if Dean were…" I glanced over at him, at the way he stood with his arms crossed looking at me out of the corner of his eyes, but it wasn't just him who was looking, Sam had that same concern on his face as well, "what if Dean is also light, Sam is dark, like Danni and I are, would that make sense about the way he grounds me? I mean, Sam can keep me pretty well tame but Dean…"

"I understand your reference and yes, that might explain the reason for Dean's constant need for contact, especially if he's been dealing with his brother for his whole life. He's been around the darkness long enough to recognize it." Cas sighed, his hand resting on my shoulder, "You need to not think about it, Ali, especially that part of it, because you were never dark, you were never evil and I know how your thoughts process. Dean wasn't there at the beginning because that was what he felt, he was there because he loved you, he fell…"

"Don't say it." I growled, and shook my head, "because even if the falling pertained to that in only a family way, it's still too much to deal with."

"You are family, you know." Cas whispered, "to them, to me, you have always been family, there isn't any changing that, falling or not."

"I get that." I sighed, "I really do, but can we move on from the subject. Maybe get on the road, because the need to move is getting pretty overwhelming and when it does, it becomes the need to run, and I don't want to do that to them."

"Fine, stay here, take a few breaths, I'll get them together." Cas leaned forward, kissed me on the forehead and left me standing against the stove, my arms crossed over me as I turned to stare out the window instead of at the brothers, who were looking me over with curiosity and confusion.

One of the best reasons for the backseat of the Impala, besides the obvious was that it's seemed to relax me enough to put me to sleep, or at least in a daze so that the time on a six hour trip didn't drag on.

As it was, two hours into it, I found myself curled up against the driver's side back door, legs bent and feet tucked beside me as I crossed my arms and laid my head back, forehead to the cool glass. Unlike most cars, this one seemed to have just the right vibration to keep away the motion sickness, something that I normally got in the back seat, but I wasn't sure if it was because of what was under her hood or if it had something to do with the man behind the wheel, but like I said, I wasn't out enough to be asleep just dazed enough to let the time pass, and to pick up the conversation from the front seat of the car.

"Dude, why do you keep doing that?" Sam's voice vibrated through me and I stifled a moan, because, well it was Sam and his voice just dripped sex.

"What are you talking about?" Dean groaned, obviously tired and ready to either gank something or sleep.

"The little glances thing, like no one is going to notice." Sam laughed.

"What?" Dean seemed a little confused but apparently did something to make Sam notice.

"Right there, as soon as I said it, your eyes went to the mirror. She's not going anywhere." Sam continued to further explain.

"Okay, that's not what's happening." Dean adamantly protested, which only got a sigh from Sam.

"This is me Dean, you don't have to hide it."

"I'm not hiding nothing, and I wish you wouldn't be so damned cryptic, you're reminding me of Cas." Dean's voice grew deep, which meant he was growing frustrated. "Now, explain."

"The two of you, you know, the way you look at her when she's not looking, or how she looks at you when you look away." Sam pointed out and I waited for it, waited to hear something in the way of anger. "Why do you hide it?"

"Yeah that, Sam, not the time, not the place, okay?"

"Dean, I know you love her."

"Yeah but I'm not _in love_ with her so, like I said, not the time, not the place."

"Says you," Sam sighed, "And if you were, what does that have to do with anything. Look I know how you were before, okay, I have my memories back too." When Dean didn't answer Sam went on. "In the bunker, for that month apart, I saw you, I saw you sit there in the war room with that phone in your hand debating on whether or not to call her just to check, just to make sure she was okay."

"Your point?" And yeah, I would love to know it too since Sam just said _if you WERE_ cause that puts a whole new spin on things, and to find out that he sat there with the phone, that was a little mind blowing in itself.

"She did the same thing, I mean, maybe not with the phone, but on it, with me." Sam took a deep breath, filling that broad chest as he slowly let it go. "I told her the same thing I'm going to tell you. It's okay to ask about the other, it's okay to care… you love each other, Dean, it's not a crime."

Dean huffed, maybe that wasn't the right word for it, maybe it was more of a pfft, some sudden, annoyed release of his breath. "She's yours, Sammy, and I have Danni."

"You _almost_ have Danni and she's not just mine, Dean, she's ours." I felt the gas let up a little and assumed that Dean looked at his brother. "You can't tell me you didn't realize that. We've been sharing her from the jump, just not in that way. You need her, she needs you just as much as I need her and want her. She's not going to stop loving you, no matter who you're with."

"Okay, just stop talking! And stop using the word sharing!" Dean snapped, his hand twisting on the wheel made an unmistakable squeak. "How can you do that? How can you say we've been... sharing her, that's just not something I'd be okay with, so why are you?"

"Because it is what it is, because it's you and me and it's her, Dean. It's Ali and I know she loves you." Sam sighed, and paused, "Fine, so you and Danni, you going to be able to get past this need for Al? Are you going to be able to tell Danni everything and let Ali go? Did you tell her about the times you left her at night to sit in a chair or go out to the garage, just to pace with a phone in your hand?"

"Seriously Sam, I'm asking you to stop."

"No, Dean, we have to figure this out, you have to figure it out, accept it or whatever, before the rest of this goes down." I heard Dean sigh. "Love her, don't… tell her, keep it a secret, whatever but don't push her away."

"When have I ever pushed her away?" Dean growled, and I felt my muscles jump at it and the car pulled over to the side of the road, this way Dean wouldn't veer off it into a tree, or worse over an embankment that we would have to find a tractor for. The car shifted under his weight as he turned towards his brother and the only way I could tell that happened was because the sound of his voice changed direction. "I have only ever pulled her closer, and it's killing me, Sam! It's killing me because she's yours and she should be with you, and she makes you happy."

"She's not just mine." he whispered. "And, even when you want to strangle her, you know she makes you happy too."

"Stop talking, or I'm going to punch you in the face!" Dean snapped, and this time he wasn't joking.

"ENOUGH!" I yelled, finally opening my eyes. The air had grown thick, had forced me out of my light sleep, or whatever I was pretending to do and I slowly and sat up in the seat, looking at the two of them, Sam was facing me, Dean's eyes, as he turned back to put the car on the road, I caught in the rearview. "Just freaking drive, and I mean blast the music or something because seriously, one more argument and I'm out the door, whether the car is moving or not." I watched them both with shocked expressions on their face. "I'll be damned if I come between the two of you so… just drop it, I don't want to hear about anymore."

"Ali," Dean whispered, and at the sound of his voice my eyes locked on his and I just shook my head.

"Drive, Dean." I spoke softly, grabbed the duffel and tucked it under me as I curled up on the seat again, blocking out the noise as the radio cranked and Metallica blasted through the speakers. If they continued to talk, it was fine, I just was happy that I couldn't hear them.

Eyes closed once more, I thought back to that month and a half that I was alone, without the Winchesters and what I had done to occupy my time, besides build the research room.

The first hunt had been the not so easy centuries old ghost in a box. Yeah that one was fun, that and the others in the area. It had me hooked though, hunting, I had gathered everything I could, filled my house with whatever stuff I needed to get ready for the next one and found Jones again.

Yeah the look on his face when I walked back in those doors was something else, because I was sure he never expected to see me again. The burly man shook his head, sighed and leaned on the counter as he tried to narrow his eyes at me and scare me away. I stepped up, put the empty camera bag I had found on the counter and smiled.

"Fill me up." I spoke softly, evenly even though I was terrified, not of the man himself but what i was asking him to do.

"You took care of the one in Gilbertville, didn't you?" he had questioned and I only gave a slight nod before he looked me over. Moments passed before he let out a breath. "Good job, what do you need."

"The usual, and travel sized, I'm taking it in this baby." I smiled, patting the bag. He unzipped it, looked at the different compartments and his lips formed an approving smile.

"Never had anyone make up something that was portable, usually they just used some secret space in their car." He shrugged, pushed off the counter and moved towards the back room. "Well, let's see what I can get you."

Turned out he could get me a lot, and with a few adjustments to the bag, I also had a place to stash the spectrum and the Walther when I wasn't carrying. He managed to make me a license to carry, making my handling of the gun pretty legit, and I say pretty because, yeah, it was a hunter's license, only needed to make it past the cop the might pull me over if asked.

He made IDs, federal and state, some wildlife, one for Mass, since he didn't think I would be leaving the state much, and as I perused the many books that filled the back room, I felt his eyes on me. I know he had questions, but like any hunter, just didn't bother to ask. I hadn't lost anyone, not really, but most of the time the first question in anyone's mind was _how did you get in the business._ I think he knew, honestly, I think he could feel it.

"How much?" I questioned, pulling the cash from my wallet. Jones put a hand up, and raised a brow.

"Tell you what, Angel, you come to me when you need a hunt, and we'll call it square." he answered.

"Come to you?" At the time, I never questioned the suspiciously protective glare in his eyes, but knowing what I do now, I could look back and see it. "So what, you'll be my handler?"

"If that's how you wanna put it," he replied. "I'm kind of the go between in this area, the one who sorts out which is which when it comes to hunts and morons." I snickered at this because, yeah, I had met a few. "So since you're close, I'll call you, and you can tell me if you're available for it. Nothing too harsh to start with, and then we'll move on to bigger stuff. Sound like a deal?"

"Sounds like you're just trying to keep me from hunting for cases myself," and I watched him smile at me, yeah he knew I was new to this.

"It's not an easy business to get out of once you get in, so I just wanna make sure you're ready for it." I took the bag off the counter, one that was surprisingly light even with all the stuff he packed in there and I winked.

"Jones, I've been in this my whole life, the hunting part just took a little to ease into." I took a deep breath, grabbed a pen and paper and gave him my cell number. "For when you catch something, just give me a call, I'll answer."

"You might not want to with what I have on the back burner," he replied and that made me curious.

"You got something now?"

"A case in New Hampshire, got two very talented young ladies who could use a hand." Jones looked me over. "Looks like it might be one of your cases too, since you seem to be pretty adept at the whole Salt and Burn method. So what do you say?"

"What's their names?"

Jones smiled, "Birdy and Arrow, and I think you're going to like them."

His grin told me everything and the case was in the books. Tomorrow, when the kids were off to their father's, my two hour trek across the border to New Hampshire began, and for the first time in a few weeks, I was definitely in my element.

The car slowed once again, rousing me from another round of sleep that I didn't know I needed and I listened to that Mustang pull in behind me. The Grand Am wasn't far behind that, though I wasn't sure how Christian got it since he had gone shotgun to the cabin, but honestly at that point, I didn't care, I needed to pee.

Pushing up from my spot on the seat and opening the door, I found myself face to face with a Winchester, and at this point it didn't matter which one because I was still a little perturbed at both, but it was the one I always knew would be right in my face if something was up and I rolled my eyes.

"What is it, Dean?" I growled and pushed past him as he stood there with a scowl on his face. I rounded the car just as Sam disappeared into the store to get coffees and Dean followed only to grab the pump and pull down the plate. Since he didn't answer, I turned and looked at him. I suppressed the urge to move right up, take his face him my hands and kiss him until he was gasping for air, Taking a deep breath, I chose not to move any closer, and keep the pump between us. "Listen, I'm sorry I snapped in the car."

"He's right, you know." the green-eyed man whispered. "I can't let you go, I can't love you like I should but I will be damned if I push you away."

"And like you said, you've never pushed me away, Dean, so just suck it up and deal with it. You told me once, we can't help who we're with and we can't help who we fell for, but that doesn't mean that we can't love each other." I replied and shrugged, "so we go with _it is what it is_ and we deal, but you need to remember how much you love her. Remember it and hold onto it."

"What if I can't?" he looked almost defeated as he said this to me and I knew what he was doing, he was scared and I could see it in his eyes, making me smile.

"God forbid, Winchester, what if you can?" he stood straight and looked at me, but I only turned and disappeared around the building where the bathrooms were, but that was when I caught just the hint of Sam's voice, something low and secretive and I moved to peek around the very corner of the building.

Sam stood there, towering over the man who wasn't more than half a foot shorter, but he looked so small compared to the moose of a man that leaned against the building. Crowley tipped back on his heels, his chest expanding with breath as he pursed his lips in consideration and dug his hands down deep in the pockets of that overcoat before he raised a brow and looked up at Sam.

"It certainly couldn't hurt." The King of Hell finally spoke and Sam put his head back on the wall. "The problem is getting to that conclusion."

"Whatever way it has to be, Crowley, this is the only thing I can think of that will keep them together." Sam whispered, but I could read his lips, okay maybe he wasn't as quiet as he thought but he really wasn't. "Look this isn't a deal, this is us working together to figure this out. You said you don't know when she put that in the book, but it had to be sometime after you popped into the picture, so her grandmother knew about Dad, Dean and Ali, she had got to know a way to get them out of it."

"Get that book, Moose, and I'll figure it out, until then, just like you, I'm poking at ashes." Crowley's accent made that sound awful ominous but it was the words out of Sam's mouth that made me curious.

"Dean's going to kill me." He sighed.

Crowley turned, gave a sly smile and shook his head before he walked off into the woods. "If I were you, it would be more Ali that I would worry about."

His head moved to look in my direction and I quickly ducked back behind the corner. What the hell was Sam doing, and with _Crowley_? Why would they need my Grandmother's book? I took a deep breath, could feel that the demon had left the area and I moved back towards the women's room, dipping in the door, and closing it lightly as I flicked on the light.

I guess we all had a moment of the same thing in our life. No matter what we did, we would always sacrifice for family.


	97. DH Remembrance - 31

**hapter 31**

Old Time Rock and Roll

I think I was more awake the rest of the trip then I let on. My nerves were on end because of the boys and their argument, and possibly the way Sam had secretly met with Crowley behind the store, but mostly it was occupied by the very annoying song that I had picked up along the way, one that no matter what Dean played it wouldn't leave my head.

By now the boys had switched driving, so Sam sat behind the wheel, his eyes going to me every now and again as he glanced up at me in the rear view, but that was only when I was pretending to drift off again, otherwise, the trip consisted of minimal conversation and very little time where there was no music blaring through the speakers behind me.

Like I said, a very annoying song played over and over in my head and where I had picked it up was just a mystery to me because you would know when you heard something that contained fiddles.

After leaving Sam, or more to the point, leaving the bathroom. I had come around the corner and face to face with Danni. She looked a little off, which wasn't something I would be too concerned about except the expression on her face wasn't just off but confused.

"What?" I whispered as I took her wrist, pulled on her to follow me back around the corner, not that I was trying to hide, but with three men and an angel, I wasn't at all sure that our privacy wouldn't be interrupted, and hey, girls go to the bathroom in pairs, right? "Danni, what is it?"

"I had a memory, I mean an honest to God memory, not something that you told me." I crossed my arms and raised a brow, asking her to spill since she seemed about ready to explode. "Okay, so we were in Virginia, at least, I'm going to guess because we stayed at an Econo Lodge, right, in Winchester."

"Not fessing because it's your memory, you tell me." I replied and she sighed as she ran a hand over her forehead. "Just tell it like you see it."

"Okay," she took a deep breath, let me see the frustration in her eyes as she tried to keep her cool. "You and the boys were in one room, which, by the way, what the hell is up with that, you constantly have both of them fawning over you, and not even just now, but back then as well."

"Concentrate, we'll get to that after." I groaned.

"Okay, so I was in another room with Cas, and he had his hand over my heart, that in itself is pretty freaking weird but then he started to glow, and I mean not only bright but hot, and he pushed it at me, into me."

"Sounds shockingly like sex." I joked but her face didn't register the humor. "Okay, okay!"

"The problem with this nice, white light was that I got ramped up from it, like a power surge, I mean I could feel everything, and not just Cas, I mean I knew where Dean was standing in the next room, where Sam was, and then I could feel you." I suppressed another urge to give in and say something about sex but she saw it on my face and shifted her weight, "you done? Are you going to take this seriously at all?"

"I'm done, I swear." I grinned and watched her nod.

"Ah-huh, that boy needs to give you just a little bit more special time," she stated and moved on. "The problem was with you… Ali, you didn't feel like the boys, you felt… darker, like you were something I needed to get rid of. Why the hell would I feel that? Why would I want to treat you like a monster."

"Because I was one, remember? The demon was taking over, I was as dark as they came and slipping into a new level of it. Your light, which was what you saw… Cas giving you some angel mojo to level you up… your grace was what called you to me, what drew you in." I closed the gap between us, making sure our eye contact never faltered. "Listen, when you relive it all, when you get those feelings back and your own memories, know one thing. You are family, you're my family, my sister and I love you."

"I know that."

"No, you need to know it and understand it because I did some pretty nasty things back then, to you, to those boys and hell, when they get it all back, when you do, it wouldn't surprise me if all three of you dumped me on my ass and told me to figure it out alone." I watched her brow furrow. "Yeah, it was that bad. There are three things you have to remember, no matter which way the memories come out in it. I never touched Dean, not romantically, that was your knight. I took those hits because I deserved them, and I never meant to put you in this position with those blades, I acted, just the way I always do, on instinct and it nearly got us all killed. But if you do remember and you want to kick my ass, I'll let you."

"I've wanted to kick your ass since this whole thing started, but that might have just been the older sister in me and some sibling abuse." Danni smiled. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You say that now," I whispered, "just don't be so sure."

"Hey!" Christian called out as he rounded the corner. "You two coming or what?"

"Yeah," I answered, rather quickly, glanced at her one more time, brow raised and I stepped by her, wanting a hug but not taking it, because the feeling of her being so close was starting to raise the hairs on the back of my neck.

I watched as Chris stayed back to talk to Danni, and I was glad, so glad that she had him because I felt like I had let her down again. I had brought them into this so that they could remember, so that I could have back the part of me that I so desperately needed, but now, all I felt was their pain and confusion. I met Castiel's eyes as he stood by the passenger's door on the Mustang, just for a moment before I climbed into the backseat of the Impala.

So, we're back the beginning of this fun little chapter of my life, where I'm sitting in the back of the car, staring off into nothingness as I listen to the old rock tunes that come from the speakers behind me with an irritating song about a Devil who decided that Georgia of all places was a great state to visit, but it wasn't long before things began to look familiar and the Summerford town limit sign came into view.

I sat straight, gave Dean a glance because with all his information on Jo, I wondered what his reaction to it would be. He only peeked in his sideview at the car behind him, the Mustang that seemed to jet forward and fall back. Taking a deep breath, I kept myself seated, fought the urge to reach out and touch him, either one of them, and let it out slowly. They didn't need my darkness, none of them did.

Jo Harvelle, a petite blonde of a thing, moved faster than I ever thought possible, especially when she hauled ass out of the building and jumped into Christian's arms. That, as I moved from the back of the Impala, made me smiled, but the grin only widened when Danni moved from the Mustang and literally took two steps from the door before the blond had her lips crashing down on Danni's, arms wrapped tightly around her for a long moment before she let go.

Apparently, that was the way she said _thank God you're not dead, Asshole_ because all Danni did when she let go was grin. Jo moved on to Sam, then smiled up at Dean as she placed a hand on his cheek before hugging him. There was no odd feelings there, even though both knew about the other, you could see it in their eyes, and Christian can't stop gossiping to save his life.

However, that smile dropped when she turned to me, the others waited as she moved up. We stood less than two feet apart, not sure how any of this actually went, but I watched her hands tuck behind her back, knowing there was a gun there, and I stiffened before I realized she was tucking them in her back pockets.

"I didn't believe you, and I'm sorry." She replied.

"A hunter's life, Jo, and hunters' rules." I shrugged, "you take care of your own, and that includes keeping them from strange, crazy women who happened in off the highway."

Jo took a breath, her glances went between Dean and Danni as the man leaned protectively against the Mustang, Danni close by his side. Yeah, he looked like the ultimate bodyguard, but you could see the emotions in his eyes, and her gaze settled back on me as I continued to watch them.

"So, it's true?" She whispered, a little pain in her voice, "Dean has is bad for her?"

"Yeah, Cupid's arrow hit that one and made him dumbstruck." I grinned and looked past her at Sam.

"And you? The way Christian was talking about you and him…" I raised a hand, stopping her as I took a breath.

"He's family, she's my sister, and I told Christian it wasn't that way." My smile fading. "I have Sam, he's all I need, but we have other issues to worry about besides torrid love affairs and strange triangles." I shrugged as I put my hand on her shoulders. "And I, need a drink."

"Come on in, I'm sure I can find you something." Jo gestured only with a nod, turned and I followed her in, or at least I tried to.

Cas had all but disappeared at that point, having given me a nod when he stepped out of the car, but it was Sam that stopped me, putting his body in my path as the other three disappeared into the building. All I did was reach out for him, that was all I could do, that and let my arms wrap around his waist as his arms embraced me. His hands, as big as they were, tucked under my arm as he held me, the other covered most of the spot between my shoulder blades, as his thumb caressed the back of my neck.

"You don't have to pretend to be strong," He whispered against my head.

"I can't afford to be any other way, Sam, as much as I would love to break down and say screw this, I can't." I let my body relax in his arms, letting the sound of his heart thump in my ear, wanting it to be all heard. "I feel like I'm ready to break apart as it is, and I don't even know where the hell this is going."

"Well when you do, I'm right here." I smiled at this because I know there was something else. My mind was just set on the doom and gloom of it all, couldn't see past my own self-loathing of what I had done to believe _maybe_ in the end, he would still be standing beside me. I nodded as I pushed back from him, taking a deep breath as I glanced up and let his lips brush against mine. "So?"

"So, I really need that drink." I laughed and watched the small smile crossed his face, a smile that parted his lips, wrinkled the corner of his eyes as he looked away, same as he always did before he took my hand the two of us walked into Harvelle's.

Christian had miraculously found his way to the pool table and started to rack it up, Danni and Dean were already at the bar, he with a beer in his hand, she with some sort of soda and mixed drink. I made sure to sit on her side, away from Dean and I watched the small frown as he looked me over before putting the bottle to his lip. I hated it, hated being so far away from him but what was said in the car stuck with me and I couldn't let it go.

Jo leaned over the bar at me, almost like our first meeting. "Something I can getcha?"

"A coke and a shot of vodka," I grinned, knowing this dance and watched her eyes light up since she knew it too.

"Together?" She asked, and her eyes narrowed, waiting to see if I gave her just what she wanted me too.

"Depends on your cups." And Sam's eyes just widened as he shook his head, apparently known the outcome of this little conversation.

"Already told you, about a B," she winked and pushed up her bra before backing away from the counter to grab my drink.

"Hey, Jo, two shots, like last time and yeah, you can mix them." I replied and watched his eyebrows go up as he turned on the barstool towards me. "What? I drink Sam, it happens."

"Yeah but in the middle of the day?" I rolled my eyes and I tried to look at him seriously but that didn't stop the smile from coming through.

"When the urge hits," I whispered and ran my nails over his jean-clad thighs, "sometimes you just gotta scratch it." I heard that growl, in fact I'm pretty sure everyone in the place heard that one and Danni's hand was on my back, just between my shoulders. "It's okay, Dan, he's fine, just a little revved up."

"Sounds like he wants to eat you." Danni replied, getting close and my eyes locked on the darkening ones of the younger Winchester.

"Oh I'm pretty sure this Big Bad Wolf has something completely different in mind." I grinned as I went to take my hand away from his thigh and his hand came down to take my wrist. He didn't move, didn't grip, just held me there like he wanted the contact, but wanted to pull me into the bathroom and have his way, not that I would complain at all but Jo came back and set both a beer and the drink down on the counter in front of us. "Thanks for the redirect."

"Any time," she laughed and I reached out blindly for my glass as her eyes went to Sam. "You okay there, Sammy?"

He took in a shuddered breath and finally tore his eyes away from me to look at Jo and take the beer.

"Fine," he grouched before he caught his own attitude and put it in check and you could see the way he switched gears. "Sorry, yeah, I'll be fine"

"So, when Chris said he was bringing you here, I thought he was pulling my leg, what brings ya'll to my neck of the woods, and please don't say hunting because I had to fight off a werewolf last night and I don't want to hear about it." She groaned, which got Christian's attention and he walked over, sauntered was more like it and the look on his face was either _you didn't tell me this,_ or _werewolf hunt? Where?_ , I couldn't decide which, until Jo answered his unspoken question. "Yes, Campbell, I'm fine, I can handle a werewolf."

"But that would make two, one before we left," I started and looked up at him, which means he got the implications of my sentence.

"You guys have a pack problem?" Dean's voice spoke up and my body shivered, like visibly and I watched Sam's eyes, no jealousy there, but he saw it nonetheless. I cleared my throat and looked anywhere but those blue-green eyes. "Why didn't you say something? We could have been down here sooner to help."

"It was one puppy, Winchester, I don't need you swooping into save my ass." Jo huffed apparently offended by the fact that Dean would even imply that she was in need of anything. Dean cleared his throat, which was all I heard because my back was to him. I took my glass, winked at Sam and hopped down from the stool.

Without a word, but with five sets of eyes on me, I made my way over to the pool table and picked up the stick that Christian had put down. I heard the frustrated sigh he gave before he came over towards me and watched as I took a long drink of the strong mix, okay maybe two or three long gulps before I set it down on the table behind me, and proceeded to line up a shot.

"Hey, that's my game, Porter!" Chris whispered as he leaned close, even as I leaned over the table.

"You left it hanging, beside you were doing a piss-poor job of it anyway, I watched you sink the cue three times in the small period you were over here." I laughed as I pulled back and then shot the stick forward, sinking two balls, one solid the other a stripe and stood straight to look at him. "I'll give it back if you want."

"Nah, looks like you need to get some hits off." he smiled. "There's a sparing room in the basement, we could… ah, wrestle for that shirt that I still have."

"Which by the way, was one of my favorites!" I grinned as I poked him in the chest and he closed his eyes in mock orgasm.

"And damn does it ever smell like you." I shook my head and went back to the pool table, concentrating on the way the balls sat at least until he came closer. "What's with you and the boys? You and Dean mostly."

"Car ride revelations," I growled and shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it." I let the stick slide again, taking two more out before I grabbed the drink again, downing the rest of it.

"Easy there, lush, don't you think you're hitting it a little hard?"

"Oh this ain't hard," I smiled and patted him on the stomach, "wanna get me another one, just like this, Jo knows how I like it."

"Not yet she doesn't but you let her get you drunk, she might." He laughed and took the glass before disappearing up to the counter.

I watched as the other three split up, at least the two of them. Sam headed off to the bathroom and Dean made his way over. I tried so hard to not look at him that I found myself staring at the way his legs moved.

"We gonna talk about it?" he asked as leaned against the table, just as I lined up.

"Nope!" I said with a pop on the last syllable.

"We can't go around ignoring it." he sighed and I smiled as I finally looked up at him.

"You want me to not ignore the fact that you all but admitted to your brother how you have felt about me from the beginning, with the woman you love sitting right there?" I whispered as I moved up to stand less than an inch from him, I mean that was what separated us, an inch. Dean's eyes got hard. "I know you love her, Dean, I know you're in love with her, so stop trying to figure out what's between us and concentrate on what is going to happen between you two."

"I do love her, I couldn't live without her, not again, but Ali…"

"No, Dean, there is no _but Ali_ anything in this situation anymore." I snapped, pressed the stick to his chest and shook my head. "I won't be the thing that comes between you and my sister anymore, so stop, just stop and back off." His mouth opened and I almost heard the words before they could escape his lips. "There is no _I can't_ in this equation Dean, you have to let me go, I have Sam and yeah, I have you but that other part of us, that can't be, it won't be and you know it, so as much as I would love to say yes and make this a whole family affair, it can't happen. We need to distance ourselves, try to get past this need to touch, and I'm sorry if it hurts, because dammit, it's killing me already, but we have to do it, for their sake, both Sam and Danni, we have to try."

He paused in his breath, I watched his chest take one in as he held it and finally he let it go, "Fine!" he stated and placed the stick on the table, before turning and walking out the door, pulling the pack from the front pocket of his jeans. Yeah, after that, I'd need a cigarette too.

Christian returned with my drink and watched me slump against the heavy cherry wood. I reached out, grabbed the glass and down it almost in one breath but he grabbed it away from me and set it on the table.

"Come on, let's go downstairs." I felt his fingers wrap around mine and slowly felt the pull, letting him lead me to wherever it was we were going. I glanced at Sam, who held no malice or worry in his eyes as Christian and I disappeared around the corner and down the stairs.

Stepping back, smiling, but breathing heavy, I raised my wrapped fists again and looked at the shirtless, hazel-eyed man before me, one that looked like he couldn't take one more hit, but I was pretty sure it was all a ruse to get me to swing at him once more.

I had to admit the hour of mixing it up with Christian had definitely done my disposition a service, though I was sure the man in front of me regretted even suggesting it. I glanced behind me as Christian straightened, but I knew who was there, I could feel him as soon as he walked through that door and leaned against the wall, arms crossed, yeah I even saw him out of the corner of my eyes.

"You're not going to let a little Winchester distract you, are you?" I laughed and watched the scowl cross his face.

"One more, Porter, just one more." He growled, like I had just offended his pride.

"One more, what the hell is that going to do for you, you've lost every other _one_!" I laughed and watched him get into fighting stance. "Okay, Campbell, one more, just for your manliness."

"Manliness." he laughed, "it has nothing to do with this, I just wanna wipe that smug smile off your face."

"Well then, my dear friend, bring it." I smirked and watched him come at me.

The one thing he did wrong the entire time we were down there was exactly what he was doing now, coming towards me, full force, like his bulk was going to do anything but offset his weight and just as he reached out to tackle me, I ducked and weaved, catching him by the ankle as I knocked the back of his knee with my elbow.

He rolled, this time grabbing me as he went down, and I found myself pinned underneath him, his hands wrapped around my wrist.

"Don't make me do this in front of your boy." He smiled, thinking he had the upper hand.

"Have you met my boy? He's not easily deterred from what he wants, and you can try but I'm pretty sure he knows I can kick your ass." I replied, bucked up against him and threw him off center. With a twist, I had my wrist out from his and one of them around his throat as he was now pinned beneath me, but I also knew that wouldn't stay that way for long, so I planned my next move. "You know how this ends."

"You think you know, but really, you don't." He laughed and tried the same move I did. I knew it was coming and moved quickly out of his way, jumping up to back off as he got to his feet. "Son of a bitch."

"Yeah, told you." I shrugged and prepared for his retaliation. "Can I have my shirt back."

"Oh I think I did a pretty good job of getting the one you had off, don't you?" He grinned and I agreed to the fact that yeah, I was sparing in a sports bra, but what did that get him, because he wasn't sneaking any peeks or making any moves. "I'll give it to you, if you get me down in sixty seconds."

"Sixty to get you off," I laughed, "off your feet and onto your back. Dude, I could do that in a blink."

"Well, chicky, bring it."

It didn't take much and honestly I think the fact that Sam was standing in the room with us was the ultimate determining factor in the fact that all I did was sweep his leg out from under him and he landed flat on his back. Smiling I crouched down, hovering just above his chest as I placed my elbows on my knees and watched him. I had the balance I needed to hold the move even if he tried anything to throw me off but he just put his arms up, tucked his hands behind his head and raised his eyebrows.

"Nice view." He grinned.

"Gonna give me back my shirt?"

"You'd have to stop by my room later," he winked, "I keep it tucked right in the drawer next to the lube."

"You're sick!" I said and slapped my hand down on his sternum, which left him breathless with a huff. "You can keep it if you haven't washed it yet, and it's stiff."

"Oh it's been stiff." he mocked and watched me as I moved, still unconcerned with Sam being so close but as I sat down on the mat beside him, he rolled over on his side and rested on his hand so that he could prop himself up. "So still not talking about Dean?"

"Wanna go another ten rounds?" I questioned, pulling one of my knees to my chest. "No, not talking about Dean, not talking about Sam, not going to touch Danni, just want my shirt back."

"God, you are such a stuck up brat!" He growled, sprung to his feet, ruffled my sweaty hair and grabbed his own shirt as he walked towards the door. Slipping the shirt on over his head, he stopped by his cousin and looked at me. "She's a pain in the ass! Good choice!" he patted Sam on the shoulder. "I'll have it back to you tonight, Porter!"

"Whatever, dude!" I smiled and watched as he left. Sam raised his brows, looking at me from under his lashes as if he had just happened to walk in at the end of this instead of the beginning and smiled. "You can come in, no one is going to bite."

"Dean would beg to differ," he said as he moved towards the mat and sat down beside me. "You need to talk to him."

"No," I whispered, not looking at him either, "I really don't."

"So, what, you're just going to push him away?" Sam sighed. "Listen, I didn't bring up what I did in the car because I wanted you to be angry, or that I wanted Dean to confess some profound connection between you two, because honestly, I've always known it was there. He doesn't love easy and his protectiveness of you from the beginning told me his feelings, I just didn't process it. I know he loves you, and you love him. And yeah, he's in love with Danni, but Ali, you're in there too."

"Okay, please stop." I whispered, closing my eyes, and with that, he pounced, well not really pounced but I was suddenly on my back looking up at him, his body weight pinning me down as I pressed my hands to his chest. "I don't know what you are expecting to accomplish with this."

"I'm trying to get you to actually admit your feelings for him." I rolled my eyes, tried to get away from him but his lips against mine were something I couldn't ignore. It was just a peck, just a slight little insistent brush of his lips. "You can't keep ignoring it, either of you."

"What about Danni?" I questioned, his lips just a brush away from mine.

"You think he's going to move on when all he can think about is protecting you? And I'm not saying he's not protecting Danni, don't get me wrong, he loves her deeply but this curse, this spell or whatever it is, it's keeping him from doing that because of how connected you two are."

"None of that statement made any sense. He will move on, if we put the distance between us, if I'm not there to protect, why would he feel that constant need and you think I pushed him into a relationship with her, no… I didn't because you were the one that pointed out to me that he had his eyes on her. I don't think the connection we have has anything to do with how he feels, how I feel, love or otherwise." I pushed him off, grabbed my shirt and pulled it on. "I don't think the two of you can get any more confusing. Do you think that him admitting anything is going to get us somewhere faster, further than we are now. I _love_ you, Sam, I'm _in love_ with you, and if you think my "feelings" for your brother is going to change any of that, you're wrong."

I walked out of basement, hearing Sam follow as I slipped on my sneakers. I loved these things, just slip them on and go, but I could hear his boots hitting the floor behind me, more so when I hit the hardwood floor of the bar room, but his pursuit of me stopped as Dean stood from the bar, blocking his way, that was the only thing I caught out of the corner of my eye before the blinding light of setting sun stung my eyes and I found myself walking out between two of the cars.

I took in a deep breath, I needed to get away, needed to literally run away but that was when I heard the squeak of the door springs on the old rusted screen door and turned in my spot. I didn't expect to see what I did when I spun, the woman in black, tall, leggy, with bright red lips stood before me, just a breath away but there nonetheless.

"What the hell do you want?" I snapped and watched the cruel smile crossed her lips. "I've remembered everything, I know where it all started, I'm doing what you want, why won't you leave me alone?"

"Ali!" Sam's voice broke through the strange fog that she was creating, as if it were just the two of us in the world and I watched as she was instantly in front of the man, who had managed to come off the porch, standing midway between me and the rest of the crew.

She was on him in an instant, her hand wrapped around his throat as she seemed to lift him off the ground. Sam struggled to breath as her painted nails tightened and I stepped forward.

"You son of a bitch! Put him down." I drew the gun, knowing that it probably wouldn't do him any good because I had seen what Dean's had done to her but that cruel smile turned to a toothy grin.

"Now they need to remember!" She whispered and it seemed as if I was the only one who heard it because my eyes went big as Dean flew from the porch, beelined for Sam but was stopped dead by her claws, and her hand really did look like a claw, sinking into his chest.

"DEAN!" I screamed as I ran towards her, not all that far of a sprint but I found myself between the two men, facing up at the woman as both men struggled for their lives. I could feel the energy that flowed around them and her eyes locked on mine. "Let them go! They don't need to remember that! They don't need to remember any of it."

My pleas were answered as she suddenly dropped her hand from Sam's neck, the taller one falling to his knees and I watched her twist her hand on dean's heart, that smile turning to a sneer.

"This one…" she looked at him, "this one will never forget."

And in a bright flash, she was gone. Danni ran down from the porch as I knelt before Sam, his arms coming around my waist as he dragged in a few breaths. I watched the look in Dean's eyes as he stared at me in confusion as his knees gave way and he was suddenly sinking to them. Sam wrapped his arms tighter as the pain of his memories bombarded his mind and I placed both hands on his head, hoping to keep it away as I tried to connect with him, the same way I had connected when he met Danni but all I felt was anger.

"Danni," I whispered and turned to look at her as she too moved to kneel before Dean. I watched her hands reach out. "No, Danni! Don't!"

But it was too late, her hands were on his face and I saw the onslaught of emotions in her eyes and his memories, or at least his feelings drew out the memories in her own mind. I watched with fear as Sam suddenly grasped my upper arms and sat back, as the breathing behind me leveled out and I could see everything in his face.

Sam knew, he knew everything now, and all I could see in his eyes was anger and pain. Pain at the fact that I had taken John from him, anger at everything I had put him through and the knowledge that whatever memory had hit him only a few days ago was real.

Dean groaned and my eyes locked on his green ones, there was nothing but confusion and uncertainty in his eyes, but there was no anger, no hate, and that wasn't what I expected. Of all of them, I thought Dean would be the one that would never want to look at me again, not Sam, but when my eyes landed on Danni, I saw the disappointment in her. She knew everything from the jump, she had been there when I told her about it, but the fact that now she had feelings to go with the memories and of course memories of her own, the look of sheer disappointment was almost too much to take.

I looked back at Sam, at the blue-green orbs that stared at me, darkened by the anger, by the confusion and pain, and I let him go. All of what he had said in the car, in the basement, all of that was wiped, gone from his features. He didn't care what the hell I felt for his brother, or for him it seems because he suddenly let me go, sat back on his heels and stared.

I said the only thing I could as I rose, and felt my chin begin to tremble.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, just to him, just to the man that I loved, "I'm so, so sorry."

And with that, I turned and walked away.


	98. DH Remembrance - 32

**Chapter 32**

Aftermath

I heard the footfalls of someone behind me, even through the fog of emotions, just as I turned onto what was considered the main street in town. I closed my eyes as the fingers wrapped around my arm, expecting with everything I had for it to be Dean, but when I turned, the hand that landed on my shoulder to steady my feet was Christian and I looked up at him, tears streaming down my face.

He looked sad, like this had happened to him but I couldn't stop them from running, no matter how hard I tried.

"Stay here," he whispered, trying to keep my eye contact as I forced myself to look anywhere but him. "Ali!" He snapped and this had my attention. "Look, Jo has got Danni, she's got the boys, I'm in charge of you," I blinked once as I looked up at him. In charge of me, how the hell was he in charge of me? "I'm going to take you back to the motel, okay. Get a room and we can figure it out from there."

"I'm not sleeping with you!" I said in a slightly monotone voice, but I totally meant it sarcastically. He smiled as he kissed my head.

"One day," he grinned, still being his slick self, but he brought his eyes back to me, "one day, you'll come around." I tried to smile but it came out as a week nod. "Stay here, I'll get the car, you don't have to go back to the bar. Just promise me you'll stay here."

"Yeah, okay," I said softly and watched as he turned and ran back to the Grand Am. I looked up, scanned over the Impala and the Mustang and was caught by Sam, who was standing beside the post, leaning on is with his shoulder, his eyes burning with anger and I took a deep, ragged breath before I turned and started walking again.

The sound of the engine beside me was the only thing that made me stop and I glanced over as Christian pushed the door open and slowly I slipped in, closing it tightly as he floored the gas, dumped the clutch and spun out of the spot like hell on wheels. Usually that would get me, the motion of the car lurching forward, but like everything else I think I was numb to that as well.

We pulled up to the hunter's motel, and Chris cut the engine, glanced at me with that snarky smile and got out. I don't know what I was doing, running on autopilot maybe but before I knew what was happening, I was walking behind him, making my way through the door to the same room we had stayed in before. I didn't crash down on the bed, I slowly sat and I watched with a certain disconnection as he knelt in front of me, hands on my knees, again, trying to catch my eyes.

"Hey, Angel, look at me." He whispered and that was when I noticed the way he spoke, a mixture of Sam and Dean, just a hint of their voices with a twist of his. My gaze rested on his once more and he brushed my arm lightly with his fingers. "They just need time to adjust, none of them, not one of the three of them, is going to abandon you."

"I would understand if they did," I whispered, "I killed their father."

"What?" Christian whispered and sat back just a little in disbelief.

"I killed John, I walked away from his funeral." I started and once I did, I couldn't stop. "I took on a darkness that both Danni and I had to deal with without her consent, I begged Dean to kill me, I led Sam around with his emotions and I tethered myself to one of them. I became the evil they hunted and in the end, I did the worst thing you could imagine. I made a deal with the angels to wipe the slate clean."

"You did this?" he rocked back on his heels.

"I did all of this, which I have been telling you from the beginning." I clenched my teeth and took a deep breath. "I made them forget, I sent them on this path thinking that at least they would be alive instead of dead, but in the end, I screwed them up. I screwed us up and the angels gave the boys memories of John that I can't erase and sent Danni on a path where she didn't understand her powers, something that made her run and do things that could have gotten her killed."

"Why?" he looked confused, which he should have been, like they all should be and I leaned forward.

"This power that Cas is so set on blocking, this power vibrated through every part of me. I've hunted demons with it, killed dozens of them in Virginia and I thought it was over, but it's come back and I can't fight it… I don't want to fight it, Chris." I went to stand up but he was on me in an instant, locking me down on the bed as he towered over me, arms at my side. "I want to become it and end it, once and for all, because apparently I didn't do it right the first time."

"You want to sacrifice yourself to save the others?" He laughed but it was sarcastic and full of disbelief, "how very Winchester of you."

"Yeah," I replied softly, "pretty much."

I watched him back away, shaking his head as he closed and locked the door, took his usual spot in the seat beside the door, legs up on the second one, arms crossed. My own little sentry and I sighed.

"You can't keep me locked in here." I whispered, my voice full of a challenge and he just grinned.

"There is a lot of things I could do to you, Sweets, locking you in here, that's the least of them." He replied. He wasn't mad, but I could see his thoughts working, trying to come up with a plan, a way to keep me safe and the others at bay until things settled down, but it wasn't long before the roar of the Mustang filled my ears and the rumble of the Impala followed.

"Time to face the aftermath," I whispered and sat back on the bed as Christian stood and moved towards the window, looking out as he heard the doors close. They were headed right towards us, I could feel them, and before the first fist hit the door, the hazel-eyed man swung it open. I ran both hands down my face as I stood and waited for the lashings.

Danni walked in first, staring at me like I had two heads, Dean was next, concern written all over his face, but he didn't come at me, not like I thought he would, he just grabbed the seat that Christian had been using as a footrest and turned it around, tucking it in the corner as he sat with his arms on the backrest, like he was caging himself in. It was Sam and his overwhelming presence that had me on my toes as those ever changing eyes locked on me, full blue which meant a multitude of emotions were going through his mind at that moment, none of which were good.

"Ali, why did you leave?" He questioned, but there wasn't much concern in his voice, there was more of a disappointment that I hadn't stayed to face the music.

"You have a gun tucked in the back of your jeans," I replied, my voice calm and uncaring, "would you have stuck around?"

"I'm not going to shoot you," he whispered, evenly, which was weird in itself.

"Not yet," I mumbled and took a deep breath, knowing he had heard but he didn't reply to it. "You all needed time to process what you just remembered, without me there, without that… extra stimulation."

"We need to talk about it." And I smiled because of course we did, but I itched the back of my head and moved towards the dresser, leaning against it as I crossed my arms.

Danni found her way to the spot on the bed that I had just occupied and sat, just watching me. In fact every eye in the room seemed to be on me. I cleared my throat and locked his gaze, nodding as I gave him just a little grin, not finding this funny at all but if I didn't smile then I was going to get angry, and if I was angry, then the whole world would have been hurting.

"So, let's talk," I shrugged, "do you want to go first, Sammy, or do you want Danni too? I'm sure Dean has a whole bunch of crap he would love to let on me about, you know becoming the monster, the carnage, but you, I know what you think, I can see it all over your face."

"Enough!" Danni snapped and put herself between me and Sam, facing me with crossed arms.

"So you first then?" I whispered, and prepared myself for whatever she had to throw at me.

"I know everything, I knew everything before but it didn't register." Her eyes narrowed as she shook her head. "What were you thinking? You knew what the God Killer blades were for, you knew it, yet you picked them up and used them. Do you have a death wish?"

Funny how I swear I had heard those words before, but I shook my head. "I was trying to do the right thing," I said mockingly, then shook my head. "Nope, wait, I wasn't. I was trying to save your ass from a bunch of demons."

"You could have done that with just the spectrum." She snapped.

"I could have but it wouldn't have been as much fun." I replied, and I found myself purposely trying to make her angry. "The research Dan, the ones we had spent months trying to figure out told us to stay far, far away from Winchester, yet, you and the Hardy boys end up there at the exact point in time where everything is supposed to go down. How did you let that happen?"

"Don't pin this on me, Porter." She growled. Real anger, Jesus Christ, it was about time. "You knew what you were doing walking in on it as well."

"And from the jump, I knew something was wrong, from the moment I walked into that town, but you were playing sleuth and got yourself hooked on a magic mirror! I was trying to save you, but it just roller balled from there, one thing after another and suddenly I was being possessed by a demon, one that was haunting my ass, sneaking into my head, playing God knows what kind of dickhead game with me. I had no choice!" I snapped back.

"You had a choice!" She answered, "you could have asked for help."

"And if you remember everything, you know I did." I whispered, stepping forward, closing the distance. "I asked all three of you, and you helped, you did, you tried your best anyway, but nothing was going to stop Zane, not even an angel blade to the back." I looked at Dean with this one and watched as he just stared. "So, I did the next best thing, I decided to protect myself, but I admit, I went about it the very wrong way, the way that I had to live with, that I would gladly die with and I was ready, Danni, I was ready to die just to atone for that one horrible thing. I killed John Winchester, and the damn demon that possessed him!"

I heard Sam draw in a breath. He knew the truth but to hear it from my mouth just seemed to cement it in.

"You could have stopped it at anytime, Danni, light and dark, remember and all it would take was the slice of a blade." I whispered and watched the fight go out of her eyes as I stared her down.

"You really think I would have taken you out?" She whispered.

"No, not then, but now, as the power comes back, since you know where yours is coming from, don't you think now would be the best time to just end it?" I said softly and watched the hurt raise in her eyes. "Cas could bring me back, I mean, what if it was as simple as dying and when I came back it was all over?"

"That is the most screwed up plan I have ever heard," she growled and clenched her fists, but I remained as relaxed as I could.

"What did you feel, what _do_ you feel about that, I mean back then you kind of kept it all in, besides the ramped need to accuse me of being with Dean. Do you want to punch me? Do you want to get it all out?" I questioned. "The anger, the betrayal. Go ahead, take a swing, but know this. Whatever happened in Winchester, it wasn't your fault, it was mine and I take all the blame."

"You take the blame?" she laughed. "Your deal with Cas, this deal to make us all forget, yeah that's on you, but the last few months, what I've done, what we've all done to make it through, we need to own that. Do I want to punch you, yeah maybe just until you're broken and bloody, but am I going to do it… no because we need to figure it out, get rid of this tulpa and get on with our lives."

"You say that like it's the easiest thing in the world," I sighed, "but it's not."

"No, I didn't expect it to be. I'm pissed, Ali, beyond so and right now, I have to go, because if I don't, I will slug you!"

"Don't hold back on my account." I replied as she turned to walk away.

"It's not you I'm worried about." She sighed and I watched her fingers light up with the power that she held inside. "I'm worried I won't be able to stop."

"Always the angel," I whispered, and watched her give me a dirty look before she headed for the door. Dean stood quickly and followed, leaving me to stand in the room with Sam, as I moved back against the dresser, just listening to the argument outside the door.

"Danni!" Dean's voice called, loud enough so that I could hear, and Christian ducked out, willingly following his friend. "Don't do this, don't leave."

"I have to, just for a little bit, just to get my head in order." I heard her say. "Don't worry, I'm not going far."

But then the voices went to muffled sounds and I heard the sounds of doors closing, two doors and then the rev of the Mustang's engine before Dean slowly came back in and made his way towards the bed, where he sat down and sighed.

So here I was, left with two Winchesters, and I looked over each on before I sighed. "You guys might as well just have at it."

"Really, Ali, this is how you're going to play it?" Dean questioned and I locked on him.

"Do you want me to slap some frosting on it and call it a cakewalk?" I laughed, "this isn't easy for any of us, so right now, wouldn't it be better to just get it out in the damn open?"

"Cake? You're going with cake?" He snapped, and I knew in that moment that he had no idea where his emotions were going, so I turned to Sam.

"What do you got, Hot Stuff, cause I can see it in your eyes that you have a lot to say."

Sam took a deep breath, lowered his head as he seemed to form his thoughts, but when he looked up at me, he let that breathe out slowly.

"I don't even know where to start."

"Alright," Dean spoke up, standing as he moved towards the door, "I'll give you space, but try not to kill each other."

The door closed behind him, almost completely but not enough to say that the oldest one walked away and I watched Sam come closer his eyes focused on me.

"Lay it on me, Sam," I whispered, "just let it go and tell me what's on that beautiful mind of yours."

I watched as his chest puffed up, something that normally happened when he was about to let it all out and I smiled, waiting for it because this wasn't going to be good at all.

"You did this Ali," his voice was surprisingly soft but stern, like he wasn't ready for the emotions behind it, "you killed Dad, you put us on this path!" Sam growled at me, and there it was. I stared up into those intense blue-green eyes. "You don't know what this is going to do to Dean! He loves you! Ali, this could kill him!"

"And what about you? Because he seems to be handling the news pretty damn well from what I can see." I replied, trying to keep my tone even. "So, what about you."

"What about me? I know the truth, finally I know what you did." He clenched his fists just trying to work it all out in his head, "I know that you sacrificed yourself to save the rest of us and it's the same God damned stunt that Dean pulls every single time and that's why I know how he's going to react, because it nearly killed me!" I wanted to say that the older one seemed fine, but then again, this was Dean and damn if he couldn't hold it in. "The memory I saw, the one when we were in the bathroom. It was you walking away from me, walking away as I put my father on a pyre and lit the freaking thing up, but _you walked away!"_

"And you followed!" I reminded him, "and that was the one that you were so uncertain of, the one that you were so sure we couldn't get over?"

"Because I loved you! I followed because I loved you! I love you still but I was able to forgive you then, Al, I could see past what had happened, I knew he wanted it done, I didn't need to hear your reason behind it because I would have believed anything that you told me, but this… I can't get past this! You never bothered to even tell me your plan, to erase us all, to make us forget. To make me forget you! I wanted to marry you, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you no matter which way I had to work around it to make it happen." He let his breath give out with the knowledge that yeah, he had asked that one question but now it had all fallen apart.

"And now?" With him it seemed like everything that led up to that moment wasn't important, not the way I acted, not the way it all went down, just the fact that he had asked and I said yes.

"Does now even matter? You disappeared for months, you made Cas and Gadreel change our memories!" Gadreel, where the hell had he gotten that from, I never told him about the other angel, I certainly didn't tell him that he was involved, but I let him go on. "You left me alone, to live without you, no matter how much I tried to fill that hole it would always be here, and you left me hanging there in oblivion while you tried to forget again eight times. Eight times, Ali. I needed you! I don't care if I remembered you or not! I needed you and you weren't there, you had decided long before the tether, before the spells to fight this, you decided to rope Cas into probably the most obscene promise he could have ever made. And you didn't even prepare me." I watched him start to fume, really start to get angry as that darkness crept into his eyes taking over the color there, the oceans I stared deep into were getting choppy and a storm was beginning to brew, "YOU said yes, and you still knew how it was all going to end."

"I didn't," I whispered, "I didn't know that it would be that way, that our lives would be turned upside down, that you would have to endure the pain that you did. I didn't know they would change your memory of him, of the way…" I paused because I knew it wasn't what he wanted to hear. "I said yes because I wanted it with everything I had, I want it still but there was nothing, no way out of the darkness for me. I said yes because it was a light in the night, a ray of some sort of hope because if you loved me that much, Sam, there had to still be some good in me."

"Good or bad, Ali, I would have never let you go." he snapped and shook his head, "I don't know why you couldn't believe that."

"And now?" I asked again.

"And now…" he whispered, licked his lips and turned, walking towards the door.

Dean was standing there, leaning on his with his arm. He pushed past his younger brother and sat down on the bed, before Sam looked at him, then at me and walked out. I followed him to the door, listened to the muffled stuff he yelled and closed my eyes as I heard the door to the Impala open, felt the vibration as it shut and let the rumble of the engine flow through me.

I was trying to breath, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me but I was pissed. Beyond pissed, I was livid. Sam had driven off faster than I could get _wait_ out of my mouth. I knew he wouldn't understand, not after what he had remembered but I was hoping at some point he would at least have given me a chance to explain.

I moved passed Dean as I entered the room. His green eyes locked on me as I headed towards the bathroom. He knew too, he remembered everything. He knew the part where I wanted him to kill me, to end it all before it got to this point, but he was just sitting there on the bed.

He was the one that I thought would be angry and never speak to me again, but no it was Sam that bolted like a bat out of hell, needing his "room to think", "space to clear his head" leaving me with all the pent up emotions that even I didn't understand.

I stopped before I passed the second bed and clenched my hands into fist before I closed my eyes and listened to his breathing.

"Go ahead," I sighed, "Cause, if I'm going to get my ass handed to me, I might as well make it a double and call it a night."

"I'm not…" he started and slowly I turned to look at him, his lips were pressed together, his hands were open as an expression of _what do you want me to say_ and I watched him take in a deep breath. "I'm not mad, okay, not like Sammy, and he loves you, Kid, he'll get passed it."

"How can you not be upset?" I found myself laughing as I ran a hand through my hair before gripping the back. "I killed your father, Dean, I took a blade and put it through his heart and held him as he died. How can you not be anything but ready to strangle me?"

"Because it's better than what they made us believe," he stood and came towards me, his hand reaching out, "Okay, it's a thousand times better than the images those douchebags with wings gave us as a memory… hell, Ali, i would take you slaughtering a dozen demons, hopped up on a magical blade over what happened to Dad any day, so yeah I'm not mad, not at you!"

"Well, you should be!" I growled and turned away from him. I thought I would make it to the bathroom at least, but I barely made it two steps and suddenly I found myself with an arm out, bracing myself against the wall, trying not to let him wrap around me completely, but I could feel his breath against my ear, his hand on my stomach as his fingers spread wide and he used his free hand to push the hair away from my face and neck. I growled. "Don't!"

"Or what?" he laughed as that hand moved, the back of it sliding down my arm as he took ahold of my fingers in his.

"Don't hold me like this, Dean!" I begged, "don't do this to yourself or me, it's not supposed to happen."

"I can keep going, but I'm not going to play this game, Ali," he kissed my cheek softly.

"No," I sighed as he brushed against my skin, already very sensitive and I raised the hand he held to grab the back of his head, just the little bit of hair I could grab. "You have to stop."

"Only if you really want me too." his voice was like a melody and my heart raced as his hand left moved, leaving me to hold what little of his hair I could grab, "Tell me to stop, Ali, and I will. Tell me to never touch you again, and I'll do it, I swear I will, but if you don't…"

"Dean!" I snapped turning in his arm, "it's' too strong, don't you feel it?"

"I feel everything, Kid, and it hurts," he sighed, "everything that you feel, I do, everything that Danni goes through, I've been there, and Sam… Don't get me started on Sam, but this, you and I, you can't just tell me to stop and not want me to do it more."

"For the sake of the other," I growled.

"Look, I love Danni, I really do, but us, this, what the hell can we do about it?" He sighed, stood back and pushed my hair from my face, cupping his hands on my cheeks as he tilted my head up to look at him. "I don't get it, I really don't but for some reason, this is us, all of us and this is how we work. We mess with it and things go really, really bad, so why would I stay away? Why wouldn't I keep you close?"

"You are the most stubborn man I know, and trust me, I know your brother!" I tried to smile but as soon as I did, the tears started to fall, real tears as I finally let Sam's words in, heard everything that Danni said to me and his hands moved to tangle in my hair, pull me close and I let my knees give out.

Dean moved me towards the bed, cradling me on his lap as his lips pressed against my head. I let the sobs take over, the months of forgetfulness, the days of secrets all washed over me and I tried everything just to cry it out but soon I found that I had nothing else to give, but I still didn't move from his arms.

I closed my eyes as the sharp sting behind my eye began to grow, turning into the feeling of an ice pick going through my head and I released him long enough to press my hand against it.

"Ali?" I heard him question as the pain took over and suddenly I was gripping his shirt because there was no way I could reach in and squeeze the pain away. "Ali, talk to me." His voice became distant and I slipped into a darkness.

 _There was nothing, nothing but the blackness that surrounded me, at least, nothing that I could see right off the bat. It was dark in the room where I opened my eyes, slipped out from under the covers and made my way out into the hallway, passing a mirror on my way by and I stopped dead in my tracks. I was staring into the eyes of my eight-year-old self._

 _Shaking from the shock of it, I moved out and down the hall, I knew exactly where I was. The hallways, the thin stairway to the first floor, they were all so very familiar and as I moved, I noticed the light at the bottom coming from the area of the kitchen. With a shivering breath, I turned the corner, dipped into the small space between the curio cabinet and the wall and looked up at the broad shoulders of a man that stood in my grandmother's kitchen, the worn, brown leather jacketed back to me and I tilted my head just a little, as his deep, authoritative voice perked my ears._

" _They saw each other, Doris, they touched and it's already started," he growled at my grandmother. "Dean hasn't stopped asking about her since the river, so whatever the hell you have to do to stop it, do it now."_

" _It's not something that I did, John, it's written in the stars." My grandmother sighed, trying to calm the man who paced. "The only thing I can think of doing is actually very dangerous, and are you sure you want to put your son through that? He's six, there shouldn't be any connection between, not that strong, not just yet."_

 _She must have been talking about the green-eyed boy from the river, the one that gave me the towel, the one who told me his dad was a superhero. The one that I couldn't get out of my head no matter how hard I tried. Yeah, it had been a month, maybe two and I hadn't stopped talking about him once._

" _Something, Doris, anything," he pleaded. "I can't have Sam going through what Dean is."_

" _That's not how this works." My grandmother laughed as she reached out to the man and sat him down at the table. I could see his face, handsome, except for the worry lines, dark hair and dark eyes, just like I remembered him and I placed a hand over my mouth. If he was here, was the boy as well? "You're talking about a connection older than time itself, there is only one way to satisfy it, only one way I have ever seen."_

" _What? An arranged marriage?" John laughed sarcastically._

" _NO! Never! They will never be that, John, but they will always crave the other's touch, it's just part of the deal."_

" _How can they survive loving other people if they need to keep the other so close?" John sighed. "What about Sammy? What about his part in all of this?" John questioned. Grandma sat down beside him and put her hand on his. "I pulled away from her father to keep this from happening, we knew about this so long ago."_

" _You can't stop destiny." Those words, that saying, I knew there was something familiar about it when the woman in black said something, and now I knew. "There is one thing you can do, but John, it won't last forever, they're meant to find each other, all four of them."_

" _Danni can't be involved too, you promised her father."_

" _I'm a witch, not a miracle worker." She smiled. "I'll give you something for Dean, you need to have him drink it all, but John, it only last for so long, at some point he and Ali will meet."_

" _Hopefully when their old and gray and this won't take away from their lives," he said with a little bit of anger. "My sons have been through enough, don't you think? Losing their mother? It's hard enough to raise them on my own knowing what I do. Dean's a smart kid, he's going to figure out there is something in the darkness. What do I do then?"_

" _You don't keep it a secret that's for damn sure." She scolded and moved to her cabinet, the one that she always kept the sweet smelling bottles in, the ones that were multiple colors and she pulled on from the shelves, placed it in the palm of his hand and curled his fingers around it. "Like I said, I think this is a bad idea, it won't last forever."_

" _It will last long enough."_

The cold spray of the shower hit me like a thousand small shards of glass and I took a deep breath, hoping that I could catch the breath that it stole from me. Dean's hands were on my cheeks, giving me something real to grasp onto as the memory faded into the background.

As I breathed in deeply, my eyes meeting his, I could see the worry in them, and I reached out to grasp his soaked shirt. Turning off the water, there were no words exchanged as he picked me up and placed me on the toilet, wrapping a towel around me tightly as he grabbed a tank and a pair of shorts, not sure what the hell kind they were, not sure I cared.

When my ice cold fingers refused to listen, Dean knelt in front of me, grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, pressing the towel to my chest as he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he pulled the tank back over covering up the bare skin, but he looked at me as if to ask really when he held the boyshorts up and smiled.

"Not touching this one, Kid." he said playfully as I snatched them from him and waited for him to leave the room before I changed out of my sopping jeans and tugged on the panties. Wrapping myself in a towel, I moved out to the bed, climbed under the blankets and waited for him to move from the window.

He looked over at me, saw that I was settled and came to the other side of the bed. My eyes widened as he stripped his wet shirt off and laid down beside me. He rubbed the back of his head, but he made his way towards me. He slipped down beside me, I felt his hands on my arm.

Instead of turning me away, to put my back to him, he pulled me closer, so that I molded around his body, my head pressed against his chest so that I could feel his heartbeat under my ear, and I let my arm drape across his stomach. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head as he settled beneath me, one arm around my shoulders, holding me tightly to him, one arm up behind his head as he let out a breath.

"What did you get? I know it was a memory but of what?" He questioned, but I wasn't sure I wanted to tell him, the one thing I did know was that there was something else at work here, something other than the tulpa.

"We need to go to Winchester." I sighed and felt his fingers tighten on my arm, "but what she said, what I assumed was where it all began, I think I was wrong."

"So where are we headed?" he whispered.

"Nowhere yet, not until I do some looking into it." I whispered, wanting not to do anything until I was certain, but there was just the way my grandmother said destiny that made me think there was another beginning that the Woman in Black was talking about. I just didn't know if Dean would understand. He nodded as his arms wrapped tighter, phone in his fingers as he tried to text Danni once more before he sighed in frustration and put the phone down on the end table. "She'll be okay, I swear."

"Yeah, and Sam loves you, Al, he'll come around," Dean whispered, giving me the strength I needed to face whatever fear I had tried to bury deep, but it was the next words that left his mouth that had my heart racing. "I love you, that's never going to change."

"Dean," I know I started, but the sigh from his lips told me I didn't need to finish, that I shouldn't finish, and his hand ran through my hair. I closed my eyes, letting the overwhelming need for sleep rush over me and felt myself drift into the darkness.


	99. DH Remembrance -33

**Chapter 33**

Truth and Consequences

The door opening was what had my eyes fully open and I found that I was looking at the empty second bed, well the first bed in the room, but it also showed me the tall man that walked in the door. He stopped when he caught sight of us, me with my back to Dean, the man behind me lying still on his back, shirtless, but Dean was above the covers, and I was somehow still tucked under them.

Sam's jaw clenched as he moved, letting his eyes fall on mine and he set down the folders and the coffees that he had in his hand. Wonderful, another case, but he didn't say anything as he sat down at the table, opened his laptop and started to browse the internet. The ticking of the keys was what stirred Dean from the light sleep he was in and I felt the bed move, his hand coming up to run over his face as the one I was using as a pillow squeezed my shoulder and slowly he moved out from behind me.

I didn't move, didn't even bother to adjust myself as I watched him grab his shirt, pulling it on before he made his way over to sit across from Sam, pulling his socks on. I stared at the two brothers, contemplated my next move and realized I couldn't live without either of them.

"Have you heard from Danni?" Sam asked and I watched Dean stop, his eyes narrow as he looked down at his phone, where it sat on the table and there was just a small shake of his head.

"Not since she said her peace and took off. She hasn't returned any of my messages." Dean said in a sleepy, deep voice.

"Aren't you concerned?" Sam's eyes went right to mine.

"Of course I'm concerned. I know she's with Chris and I'm pretty sure he's got her six," Dean answered. "Like I said, texted her… a lot but there is no answer. I sent one to Chris too, got nothing back. She just needs a little time."

"Don't you think she's had enough?" Sam shook his head. "I mean, this happened to all of us, not just Ali, not just you and me."

"What do you want me to say, Sam?" Dean sat up straight and looked at his brother, brows raised. "I want to go after her, I really do, but where? Where do I start? This is Danni, hardass, take no shit Danni, the real one, and if she needs time, well, you know I got to give it to her."

"No," Sam replied, "you don't." I almost sat up at this one, "you just don't want to leave her."

"Well, no freaking duh!" Dean snapped. "Can you promise me you aren't going to kill each other?"

"What?" Sam growled.

"Sam, the way you left, man, you were off the rails, and there's no way that I'm leaving _her_ with _you_ , if you are going to be completely nutso!" Dean sighed. I turned over in the bed, faced away from them, which made the room go silent.

"I would never hurt her." Sam admitted some long moment later, breaking the silence. "I know you have this thing about protecting her, but you don't have to, not from me."

"Yeah, you didn't see the look in your eyes when you walked out!" Dean growled, stood and I heard the shifting of his boots as he opened the door, with a little tell-tale squeak of the hinges, before it closed again.

Silence took over the room, just for a second before I felt the bed move under Sam's weight. His hands came down on either side of my head and his breath was right against my ear. I heard his lungs fill as he breathed me in and as much as I wanted to say that was a smile I felt on the lips that brushed my cheek, I wasn't all that certain that it wasn't a cruel grin.

"Did you get off?" he whispered and I couldn't help the shiver that escaped me. Sam was dangerous at the moment, and so much so that if he touched me, I would have given into anything he wanted but he just held his stance, close but not close enough. "You smell like him." His nose moved over my skin, lips caressing spots that cause small noises to escape my lips. "He's wrong, you know, I would never hurt you."

This made me turn onto my back to stare up into the blue-green eyes as his lips brushed mine, and his tongue flicked out, maybe to moisten his own, but it only made the touch on mine hotter.

"Sam," I started, but the feeling of his hand against my face, cupped over my ear as he traced my forehead, stopped me from saying anything further.

His mouth moved, closing his lips over mine, as he moved around me. What he was doing, what he had done to get the angle he wanted was something I hadn't paid attention to, at least until I felt the covers move. I closed my eyes tightly, feeling his fingers shift under the fabric, sliding down over my stomach and into the waistband of the soft cotton panties I wore. I ground my teeth together, feeling the slight burn as he dipped into the wetness there but I wanted it, could feel the need for it and I pushed back on those thick fingers.

Sam growled against my open mouth, as I kicked the covers off. He tugged down on the material, the intrusive underwear that kept us apart and I gasped as he slipped another finger in. I wanted to tell him I didn't need it, that I was more than ready for him, but holy hell was he ever magic with just a flick of his wrists, a twist of his middle finger that found the sweet spot that I craved.

I arched against him, felt his chest press against me as his breathed in deeply, releasing my lips.

"I need you to not smell like him," he stated possessively, but that did nothing but elicit more sounds from me than he cared to deal with.

Did he know what had happened, did he realise how much I craved them both and that having Dean's arms around me was almost as erotic as having Sam inside me? If he did, he didn't care, but he moved my hips, turning my body to the side as he fought to keep the kiss connected.

I knew what he was doing, I could feel every part of his touch as he pushed my right knee up, as if I were sleeping, facing the door, before his hand came up from behind, where he had settled himself in the mess of a bed, and slipped in yet again.

I had to release him then, had to move as I bit down on my own arm, bringing it up from across my chest while I lay on my side, trying to control the panting breaths that he drew from me. Oh my God, he was heaven, and sin and everything in between. When I heard that zipper slide, felt the bed shift as he tugged his jeans down, just enough for access, not enough to inhibit him from bending his leg over mine, pinning my left one down as he took my right and hooked it over his, I didn't protest. The rough material of his clothing was still evident against the feel of my bare skin but I didn't care.

There was a lot of things I didn't care about, the way his arm came over me, just like his leg, locking me in place as it slipped between my breast and his hand gently held my throat, the way he slipped in, not allowing for time between the intrusion and the first drawn out withdrawal before surging back in, because he knew that was how I liked it, and I certainly didn't care when the door opened and Dean stopped in the doorway, eyes locked on mine, he turned quickly and closed the door behind him, slamming it shut.

I felt Sam's mouth against my neck, heard the growl in my ear as his hips continued to move, just about the same time that his lips came down on my neck. I didn't keep back the moans as Sam moved with a purpose, the position being one that left me wide open to him but it was the pain of the bite that had my eyes rolling, the sounds escaping me, between the pleasure of his body and the pain of his mark.

It was erotic as hell to hear Sam's moans, feel the swell of the younger Winchester within me. I gripped the pillow, then thought different of it and placed my hand on the one wrapped around the front of my throat. I didn't want him to squeeze, I just needed to hang on as he moved quicker, hips creating a motion that had the sound of skin slapping skin resonating through the room.

I bit down on my lips, letting out a sound between a whimper and a moan, something that told Sam I was getting close. His grip moved from where it lay beneath my hand to my hip holding me still as his thrusts became demanding, hard and unyielding but his head went back, breathing more into my hair then onto my skin as I felt him stiffen, before moving again, the warmth of him spilled out with every pull.

I don't know when it happened, but the noises he made sent me into another spastic orgasm and I felt myself tighten around Sam's thick member. He was buried deep, riding out the last of his own waves when mine hit and he groaned deep against my ear, his mouth finding my earlobe before his teeth bit down.

Dean opened the door again, this time not caring what he was walking in on and shook his head. His eyes went from me to Sam and back and he shook his head.

"Damn, you two!" he snapped. "I'm sorry but I had to go and now I need a freaking shower!"

With that, the older brother moved his feet and stomping past the end of the bed. I heard the bathroom door slam as I lowered my head, chin to my chest as Sam brushed light kisses against my skin. I turned my head, seeking out his mouth, finding it caressing, wet and ready as his tongue delved inside. My body rocked with another wave as he pulsed but didn't move away, not until he broke the kiss and pushed himself up to hover above me.

I stared up into his eyes, his leg shifting, allowing movement of my own before he whispered. "I'm sorry."

And the mood went sour.

"It's not you who needs to be sorry," I replied, turning my head away from him. "I did this to us, to all of us."

"You did what you thought was right."

"I'm not Cas," I snapped and moved to slide out of his hold, not that he was actually keeping me anywhere. "I know right from wrong, I don't do things impulsively."

"You don't? Really?" he questioned and I turned to him, watching as he looked over my state of dress, or undress… whichever way he wanted to read it. "I think we both know that is complete BS."

"Think what you want," I growled and moved from the bed. "The way I remember it, I did what I had to, whatever it was to keep you safe. I'm just sorry it hurt you."

I stood from him, not ready to be that close to him, not after all we had been through, not after the moments in between and I grabbed my bag, glanced up at him one more time and headed into the bathroom, the one that Dean was suddenly moving out from and I stopped to stare up into his green eyes. I moved past him with a purpose and I closed the door and leaned back on it, placing the back of my head against the door as I closed my eyes. Christ even the bathroom smelled like them, both of them.

What the hell had I done?

I could hear the phone vibrate with music even through the thick door, but it was the sound of Dean's worried voice that made me really pay attention. As I walked out of the bathroom, he was just hanging up, and Sam was coming back in the door, his eyes resting on his brother's then on mine.

"Is she okay?" I questioned as I grabbed my shoes and started to slip them on as I sat down on the bed.

"Yeah," Dean whispered and cleared his throat, looking up at Sam. "She, ah, spent the night at Jo's place but the three of them want us to meet at the Roadhouse."

"For what?" Sam questioned, as he put the bag in his hand down on the table, it was my first-in bag from the Impala but I could tell by the way it lay that something was missing.

"Regroup?" Dean shrugged, seriously not knowing the answer.

"Guess we can't put this off any longer," I mumbled and stood, stepping between them as I snatched the bag off the table and brought it to the dresser. I could feel both their eyes on me, as I slipped the spectrum out, clipped the damn thing around my belt, and then tied it to my leg.

"You're going in armed?" Dean questioned, to which I only nodded. "Why?"

"Ever gotten punched by Danni before?" I smiled but both boys shook their heads, "yeah, it isn't fun, and not that I would use the knife on her, but I have to protect myself someway." I also grabbed the Walther from the pack and slipped it into the back of my jeans. "Besides, there are other forces I'm much more afraid of then my sister."

"Which are?" Sam's voice made me almost stand at attention. I didn't matter if we had just "made up" or not, I could still hear the anger in his voice. I grabbed the bag, again, feeling how light it was and I shook my head.

"The word Winchester comes to mind." I replied and went to walk by him but Sam grabbed my arm looked down at me.

"Neither of us are going to hurt you," Sam whispered.

"Actions and words, Sammy, actions and words." I shrugged away from his arm and made my way out the door. Behind me, I heard Dean move past him.

"Just leave it, Sam, we'll come back for it." Dean mumbled to his brother to which Sam sighed and the two followed me to the car.

I slid into the backseat, glanced down on the floor where my pack had been and check under the seat before sitting up just as the boys climbed in. I caught Dean's eyes in the rearview, and frowned. The whole day hadn't gone anywhere near where I had hoped, I mean my thoughts for when we finally all had our memories was something I pictured being completely different. My gaze shifted to Sam and bit down on my lip as he turned in the seat and scanned me over.

Like I said, nowhere near what I had planned.

When the car pulled up to the Roadhouse, there was only three other vehicles occupying the lot. Danni's Mustang, Chris' Grand Am and an SUV that I assumed was Jo's. But I got out and made my way into the building, leaving the main door open as the screen slammed shut behind me. Oops! Jo, Danni and Christian looked at me as if I been banging pots and pans near their hungover ears all day.

I gave them a quick smile and made myself at home on one of the tall round bar tables. I unzipped the bag and listened… okay, I eavesdropped as I went through everything in the bag, pretty positive that I was missing something out of it, or possibly hoping that I had left it somewhere else, a super secret place that I only knew about but forgot, which so isn't what happened.

I heard the door close to the Impala, followed by one more as Sam got out and though I couldn't see what exactly they were doing, my imagination took me to a scene where Sam stopped Dean from coming forward, making him back up against the front fender of the car, essentially stopping him from coming into the bar.

"What happened when I was gone?" Sam whispered, but not low enough that I couldn't hear.

"She lost it," Dean stated, his voice full of irritation as I heard his boots shift, like he was closing the distance between him and the younger brother. " _You_ broke her. She's not holding it together, Sammy, and it's not just the memories from June but when we were kids too."

"Did she tell you about it?" More shifting of boots.

"No," Dean growled, the frustration in him growing, and I didn't want to talk about the fact that John and my Grandmother had planned something for Dean, something that made us forget. "She just kinda shut down."

"How do you know then?" Sam's tone was stern, as if he were the older one, but his question was valid. How did Dean know?

"How could you _not_ know?" Dean fired back, "Sam, you know Ali like the back of your hand, everything you could imagine is right there on her face and you're the closest one to her."

"Apparently not," Sam sighed, "Did you tell her? About how you felt?"

"What?" Dean seemed surprised at the question, "I told her I loved her, yeah, but that other stuff... It's too much right now, too much for any of us, so we're gonna go with that," Dean admitted and I took a deep breath. He must have done something because there was an unnerving silence before he responded next and I heard the car door slam. "What, Sam? Just spit it out!"

"What you said, about knowing her like the back of my hand," His voice was quiet, calculative, and that above all else was scary because he only got that way when he was hunting, when he was figuring stuff out and I held my breath, "I know her, Dean, I know the feel of her, so don't lie to me when I ask you about her, don't try to spare me anything because I already told you, I'm good with it."

"Then you're more screwed up than I am." Dean snapped back and I heard his boots move to go around the younger one, coming straight for the bar. I was on my phone, sitting at a corner booth when he made it through the doorway. It was the furthest away I could get without looking like I made a quick dash and I glanced up at him. Dean's eyes locked on mine, I watched his fists clench before he blinked and turned away, heading for the bar. "Hey, Jo, can I get a beer."

"Sure thing, Dean," she said softly and popped the top on an amber bottle. "You and Sam, you two okay?"

"Peachy," he sighed and glanced back at me.

Nope, I wasn't looking, I was just going to stay there in the corner and wait for the big explosion. I caught his movement as he walked over to Danni and whispered to her, low enough that even my bionic nosiness couldn't hear.

I looked back down at my phone, flipped through some of the pictures that were on there and stopped when I got to one certain spot where I had taken a picture of our motel room. There on the bed was my bag, with a large leather-covered book sticking out. That was what was missing, and I turned to get off the chair, but was met by Sam, who blocked my way. Not the best thing to do to me, ever.

"Hey…" I paused while trying to catch my heart, "Sam, do you mind."

"Mind what?" he whispered, taking a step closer, and it wasn't that I didn't want him to because everything in my body screamed for him to touch me, but the fear of being cornered was just as strong.

"Sam, please," I licked my lips as I looked around contemplating ducking under the table, but I stopped as his hand touched my cheek, "you gotta let me out."

"I'm not holding you here, Ali, just take a breath." I watched the concern in his eyes as I rubbed the thumb of my left hand over the meaty part below my right. I could feel the hard ball there, just beneath the surface and as I tried to slow my rushing heart, it seemed to grow warmer. Sam backed up, just enough for me to squeeze through and turn towards him, my back to the open floor of the bar now. Sam spun slowly, his eyes on the ceiling before they came down to meet mine, frustration holding them. "What's going on?"

"It's just," I paused, still pressing in on the ball, my eyes darted around, "I'm just on edge, ya know, like," I smiled, probably the most sarcastic smile I had ever made, "like could you guys just drop the other shoe already, and let's have at it? I'm kinda going stir crazy here."

"You want us to fight?" He questioned, his hand coming out to touch my face and while I longed for it, while I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and let that man take me over, I backed away. An angry smile crossed his lips as he clenched his fist. "So, what? Only Dean can touch you now?"

"No!" I snapped, and glanced back at the bar before I brought my gaze back to him. "No, right now I don't want anyone touching me."

"Why?" Sam grilled and I stepped up to him, feeling the fire in my veins.

"Because, it hurts." I confessed, something I should have done before, with both of them, but I just let it continue because I longed for it. "It's like my skin is on fire, like it's crawling with a million ants that I can't scratch and it literally hurts."

"Why didn't…"

I cut him off, "would it have mattered?" I watched his hand relax as I shook my head. "He wouldn't let me go, he wouldn't just let it be because there was too much at stake, you know like me going off on a bender or something and you… _you_ were dead set on control when you walked into that room, when Dean walked out." I felt the anger grow, and suddenly I thought back to what he asked, "did I get off? That was your go-to question?" I closed the distance tilted my head back as far as it could go because you know what, a foot and a half is a long way to look up. "As a matter of fact, I most certainly did."

With that, I turned and walked out of the bar, letting the door slam as I stepped off the porch, turned and made my way around the corner of the building. I stopped for a moment, listening to the exchange of words that I couldn't make out and once I knew I wasn't being followed, I headed out towards the back of the bar, towards the field and beyond that, the woods.

I stepped deeper into the thick canopy of the trees, wanting nothing more than to get lost in the fact that they would never find me if I really wanted to disappear, but it was the pull of magic that lead me blindly down the paths, and over the fallen trees to a clearing not more than a half a mile away. I stopped dead in the middle of it, glanced around at the odd feeling of something being there and unclipped the knife from it's confines.

"Oh, you won't need that, Love," Crowley's irritating voice sliced through the quietness of the woods, as if all the creatures felt his evil and ran in the other direction. I took a deep breath, the power in me drawn to the one that radiated off of him, and turned to face him. "Look at you, all hopped up on juice again. My, my, that angel did a piss-poor job of keeping his end of the bargain didn't he?"

"I'm not hopped up on anything yet," I replied but watched my vision change slightly, showing me the blackness that swirled through him. "I haven't taken out any demons."

"And that makes you a saint?" Crowley grinned, pacing back and forth in front of me, but I didn't answer, just watched him move and he looked up from the ground, glancing at me. "Ah, see that's where you would be mistaken," he continued, as if my silence was a cue to move on, "the darkness doesn't always involve demons, sometimes it involves anger, and conquest," he stepped closer, so much so that we were literally less than a foot apart, "sometimes it just has to involve the intent."

"What are you and Sam planning?" I questioned, my hands fisted by my side as I held back the urge to grab the handle of the blade. I watched the tight-lipped grin on his face grow as he _hmmphed_ and took a step back. "You said it was Dean that I would need help with, well he seems all well and good with the memories, so what exactly am I supposed to need you for?"

"It's not time yet, Angel," he sighed, "not time for you to know either one of those answers, you're just supposed to remember."

"I think I've had all of the memories I can take, Crowley, so once again, I'm asking you to answer one of the two questions, Sam or Dean, pick one!" I growled and suddenly he was in my face again.

"No, Love, that seems to be your issue, but…" he took a step back again, "I can tell you this, things between you and Squirrel haven't hit the fan yet because it's not time. When it is, and trust me, it will be soon, you'll be calling out my name like a cat in heat."

"Interesting analogy." I shrugged and shook my head. "I think I can handle Dean Winchester all on my own."

"You realize that he's still tethered to you, that your little unbinding spell didn't work in Virginia," he spoke so calmly that I didn't realize he was even taking a jab. "Ah, so you didn't know. Imagine that, you must be getting along in age, Angel, forgetting something so strong. I wondered why the two of you hadn't tried to break it again, but it's because you didn't know it was still there."

I rubbed my head with my fingers, just the pads of them, hoping they would calm the headache that was starting to grow just above my eyes, and I took a deep breath before I put my hand on my hip.

"What happened to Zane? Is he coming back? I mean, if Danni and I power-tripping does that mean the monster is back as well?" I watched his face change and he reached out a hand, odd for the King of Hell to be so touchy but his palm cupped my cheek and he sighed.

"That monster is not coming back, the gates on that cage have been sealed." But his voice told me how worried he was. "Is that what's in your head? The hybrid?" The corner of his lip came up but only a little, like he wanted to be his normal sarcastic self but he couldn't. "Ali, you need to fight this."

"I'm fighting it with everything I am, Crowley, what else do you want me to throw on the fire?" I sighed, and I felt my body just want to cave in, my knees to give out as I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, on that was surprisingly warm for a demon, but then I remembered Sam and blinked. "What are you and Sam planning? What do the two of you have cooking up, and where the hell is my grandmother's book?"

"It seemed that your moose is just as stubborn as you and his older brother, you know that whole family thing. Don't worry, Angel, I'm not going to let anything happen to him." Crowley whispered.

"How can you say that?" I rested my eyes on his and watched as they sparkled with just a bit of mischief.

"I gave you my word." He answered and suddenly let me go. I watched him turn and move away, stepping closer to the woods at the edge of the circle. "Oh," he spoke before he turned and looked at me. "That little nugget that you keep playing with, the one in your hand, you need to get it out, and the sooner the better if you want to finish what it is you started."

"I'm not even positive I know where to go with it," I sighed, pressing my thumb into my hand once again. Crowley raised an eyebrow.

"I think you know everything you need to know," he winked. _Winked_! And disappeared into the trees.

"What... an... asshole!" I growled as I shook my head and turned back the way I had come, only to be blocked by a human, okay not so human, but definitely solid wall. Taking in a deep breath, I looked up at Cas. "Are you babysitting me again?"

"I still don't understand why anyone would want to sit on a baby, it seems cruel and unusual when it would be just as efficient to put the child in a crib." Cas mumbled as he looked down at me, his blue eyes glowing. I waited a minute, crossing my arms over my chest as I stared at him.

"You done?" I questioned after he had stopped rambling, and watched him give a slight nod. "What are you doing out here?"

"Checking on you." he answered honestly as the two of us made our way back towards the Roadhouse and I rolled my eyes, of course he would check on me, why would he not. "I felt the power break through when Sam and Dean got their memories back. I'm sorry I wasn't here to shield you from the aftermath."

"There wasn't anything to protect me from, Cas, they all remembered and only words were exchanged." I rubbed my eyebrows, then grabbed his arm, stopping him as we exited the woods. "Cas, some major crap is about to hit the fan and I don't know what I would do if I hurt those boys or Danni again."

"You're closing the wound, Ali, you're trying to right the wrong you think you did." he explained.

"So why doesn't it feel right?" I sighed and felt his arms wrap around me. I pressed my forehead against his chest and let my arms slid up and through the layers of clothes that he wore, until I could feel the heat of him through the thin fabric of his tee-shirt. "Back to where it all began, what the hell does that even mean?"

"I thought you had it figured out with the tulpa," he asked confused and I shook my head.

"Something popped up in a memory last night and now… now I'm not so sure." I backed up just a little.

"What?" he coaxed, "Ali, what did you see?"

"John and my Grandmother after the river, you know, the one where the hellhound drove us off the road?" Cas only nodded. "They were talking about a spell to make Dean forget, to make me forget. Ugh! Why am I just like her, I mean to do something to them twice. How much damage can that cause?"

"The changes to the brain is miniscule, Ali, nothing you have to worry about, especially if it's a spell. The effects of it should have worn off if it was done as a child." I could feel his fingers at the back of my neck, kneading into my hair, feeling along the base of my skull before he tucked his head down and touched his forehead to mine. I could feel the power that he pushed towards me, searching for just a second before he pulled back and looked at me confused. "I don't feel anything, there isn't any remnants of any magic from that long ago, even what Crowley did has vanished."

"So what are you saying?" I questioned, totally confused.

"The spell was done on Dean, not on you but through your link, it must have affected you in someway." he whispered. "It's possible that one spell countered the other, and that might be the reason why you remembered the river but only as an adult."

"It was like a fear, not a memory, not until we were together." I whispered. "So I never really forgot, I just stashed it away with a multitude of screwed up childhood memories?"

"It seems that way, yes," Cas took my hands from behind his back and stepped back. "You need to get back to the Roadhouse, the boys will be out shortly looking for you and in their current aggravated state, that might not be the best way to approach the fact that you need to get back to Virginia and destroy that sigil."

"Can't you just wing me there?" I begged and watched him smile.

"If it were only me that you needed, I would do anything for you in a heartbeat." He replied and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. "Just call when you need me, I'll be around."

"Cas," I took a deep breath and looked up into his blue eyes, "I need you."

"And I need you, but you know what I mean." he raised that little dom-brow as if scolding me and released my hand. "You know how to find me."

"Always," I smiled, just a light one that made him nod and he backed away. With the sound of wings, he disappeared, leaving me to walk back to the bar alone. When I stepped through the door, all eyes were on me and I scanned each one for some sort of hint but I couldn't find anything that would give away the need for those kind of stares. "What did I miss?"

"Ali," Dean whispered as he stepped away from the bar. I watched the way he walked, the way he approached with caution and I tilted my head, just a little to take in the way he moved. Biting down on my lip, I stowed the sarcastic comment that I wanted to make, and waited for him to come just close enough before I raised my hand. "Sam said you were hurting."

"Yeah, Dean, it's not exactly a cakewalk with this crap." I admitted, and watched as he stuffed his hands in his pockets to curve the need to grab me and just hold on, something I wished he would do, but the fire that cascaded over my skin was enough to make me nauseous. "So, what did I miss?"

Dean took a deep breath, "we need to talk."

Oh, wonderful, my favorite four words in the entire English language. Yeah, that got a roll of the eyes from me. This was going to be fun.


	100. DH Remembrance - 34

**Chapter 34**

Blinded by the Light

It was a little more than two hours after we started "talking", well from when _they_ started talking and I mostly listened, that they were really bringing up subjects that constituted actually having this craptacular family gathering to begin with. A lot of the conversation had to do with hunts, more specifically, the hunts that we had been doing lately and how they had been just a bit off from the norm. Of course, like I said, I had been mostly listening.

We had turned the chairs around next to the pool table. Sam had caught one next to me where I lay across the green, knees hanging from the end, so that he could look me in the eyes, Dean was at the end, closer to my feet, where he could give me a healthy slap when my legs started swinging back and forth, a sure sign that I had stopped paying attention completely. Danni was beside him, Christian had taken a seat in the middle and Jo positioned herself between the two younger men, essentially creating a human wall albeit a petite blonde one.

The noise of voice has been drowned out by the thoughts that raced through my head, muffling them into murmurs and uncertain words that I hadn't realized had stopped until my sight, the fuzzy way the light above me shined in my eyes, was blocked and I focused in on Danni, who towered above me.

"Earth to Ali, you still with us?" she whispered and I groaned.

"Honestly, no," I admitted and turned my head to look past her at the empty chairs. "What were we talking about again?"

"Hunts, monsters, you… but Dean went out to smoke, Sam is catching a few minutes of computer time and Jo and Christian are at the bar. You didn't move when we split, so I thought I would check on you." She shrugged and I sat up slowly, avoiding the overhead light as I did so, but it was the way the world spun when I looked down at my feet that made me realize I hadn't eaten anything in awhile. "You okay, you just went really pale."

"Yeah, peachy." I whispered.

"Here, give me your hand," I felt her touch the small of my back to help me down from the table and I shivered at it and moved away.

"I got it," I snapped and put my feet down on the ground before looking at her, apologizing with only my eyes, "thanks."

"Still hurt?" She questioned.

"Like needles." I cringed as I grabbed a handful of the peanuts from the table next to me and glanced around the bar, before my sights landed on her, "hey, ah, do you wanna take a walk?"

"Need to talk?" she smiled.

"Nah, just need to get out," I shrugged and looked up to see Sam's eyes on me, "I've heard enough talking for the last two hours."

"Okay, breather, yeah, I can get behind that," and I watched her as she signaled Christian, just a glance before we were headed towards the door. As she stepped out, Dean made his way in, holding the screen for us and I watched as Danni stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him softly before his eyes came to me. "We're gonna take a walk."

"Good, you both need to get out of here for a bit," he smiled but i watched how it didn't manage to reach his eyes as he looked me over, "you okay, Kid?"

"Hungry and tired, I guess," I shrugged and the smile faded from him. I knew he could feel more than that. Crowley had said that the tether was still there, which meant he could read all of my emotions, and right now confusion and _not_ being okay was definitely floating to the top. He reached out as I walked by, his fingers wrapping gently around my arm and I glanced down at his hold, sighing, maybe Sam was right, maybe Dean was the only one that could touch me because there was no pain. "Dean…"

"Be careful, Al," he whispered close and I could feel his breath against my cheek. "I know you weren't paying much attention but there were things we talked about, things that you just... " he let his breath out slowly, "text me or Sam if you gotta, we'll come find you."

"I don't think Sam wants to do anything but be pissed at me," I huffed.

"He's just a little confused." Dean defending his little brother was something I was totally used to, but the way he did it this time, this pissed me off because with all the stuff that Sam had said to me in the room, he wasn't at all confused, he was just plain mad. "Forget that, text me as soon as you turn around to head back." I watched as he looked over at Danni, "goes for you too, Short Stuff"

"Watch it, Pal." She smiled and I watched the grin come back to his face.

"Hey, if I can bend you over a table without your feet touching the ground, you're short." Dean snickered back, and I felt the blush rise to my cheeks as the images started to flow. He looked down at me rather quickly and suddenly removed his hand. "Sorry, Kid, I totally…"

"It's okay, Dean." I tried to smile but moving away from him was the only option I had at that moment, especially with the way things were really amping up in my head, and he cleared his throat as I cleared the stairs. "We'll be back soon."

"Yeah, I'll let the others know." he replied as he watched Danni and I move past the Impala, I glanced back at him, watched him stuff his hand in his pockets and raise that stupid eyebrow before he disappeared into the building.

I moved in step with Danni, the two of us taking a leisurely stroll down nowhere road, since Summerford was a small unincorporated town in the middle of BFE (and if you don't know what that means, well… it ain't a hopping place), or maybe not Egypt but definitely Ohio. We didn't say anything for a while, both of us just comfortable in the silence, and I realized that having her so close was actually really relaxing. My skin didn't crawl, the fire in my gut had relaxed and I could see it in her eyes that even she was feeling the effects of us being together.

"So, ah, you stayed at Jo's last night, huh?" I smiled, guess I had thrown the whole _not talking_ thing off the table, and watched the light shade of pink run up on her cheek. "What did Dean say, because you know, come on, he had to have some sort of comment for that?"

"He was curious," she smiled and I mean really smiled because she knew I would catch the meaning of her phrase.

"And, did you spill the beans?" I watched her shake her head.

"You wanna play a word game with this one?" She giggled and I just shook my head. Word game, I was all about word games and double entendre but man, I was not going that path when she was talking about Dean and spending the night with Jo, because code words right now would make me turned off to so many things. "Well, let's just say that he and I have a mutual understanding about my time with Jo, so long as I _spill the beans_."

"Christ, that man is insatiable." I smiled but took a deep breath.

"Sam will come around." She whispered.

"Yeah, maybe after he puts a dagger in my heart." I shrugged.

"He loves you."

"And I took the one thing from him that he wanted most," I sighed and stopped, turning to look at her. "It wasn't his dad, Danni, wasn't his memories, or his pride or hell, it wasn't even the fact that I walked away at John's funeral," I felt the heat of the anger at myself build and I did my best to push it down. "It was that I took away his happy ending, I said yes to something that we both wanted and then I pissed it away by basically saying goodbye without a word."

"And you did it to save him, to save us, he'll come around." She shrugged, sticking her hands deep in her pockets but she didn't look at me.

"What about you? Why aren't you mad?" I questioned, and watched her look out at the road, the empty, long road that moved off into nowhere.

"I am mad." she shrugged. "I'm mad because I knew all of it, but I decided that I wasn't going to listen to you, so yeah when the feelings came with it, I had to take off… again, and leave you alone but you know what I'm the most mad at?" She look at me as she took a breath, "the fact that I never had a chance to get past it. I mean there was so much about those months that I should have been worried about, the way that you and Dean were always hanging on each other, that he seemed to put you before me, always, and I mean almost as soon as we got back together in June was he up your ass about protecting you, always hovering."

"It wasn't like that." I whispered, but maybe not from my perspective, but definitely hers… it actually was.

"Yeah, Ali, you never saw his face because you were too close. He loved you, more than you care to admit, him and Sam, they were stuck on you from the go and what irritates me is that I don't think I ever really stood a chance." She was calm in her venting, something that really threw me because I would have been screaming from the rooftops. "I should be livid that you chose those blades before you did me, but I get that move especially with what John told you, showed you. I should be wanting to strangle you for everything that happened with Cas, I mean, seriously you had that angel so far up your ass, it was a wonder you didn't sprout wings but he was supposed to be helping me understand this power. All these things I _should_ be pissed at you about, I'm not, because the one thing I can't seem to get passed isn't even your issue, it's Dean's."

"It's not just Dean's," I sighed and rubbed my head, "it's mine too and it goes back a hell of a lot further than just April, but you're right, it doesn't matter because we should have had it sorted before we even stepped apart in Oklahoma." I watched as she looked at me. "What do you want me to say, what do I need to do to make it better?"

"You can't make it better, Ali, Dean has to," she whispered softly, "this is mine and Dean's issue."

"It's really not his issue, Dan, I mean not completely, I'm the other party in this." I sighed.

"I can't believe you're defending him."

"I'm not," I paused, at least I didn't think I was, crap! "I'm not defending his actions, Danni, I'm just saying some of it wasn't his doing, some of it was something unavoidable."

"Are you saying that his actions in the bunker, the ones where he would sit there with the phone for hours on end just wanting to text you was not his doing? Are you telling me that lying to me about a phone call, a stupid phone call as soon as you were on the road with Sam was not something he intending on doing? And the tether to you? The tether in Virginia, you know the one where he can hear your heartbeat? That one wasn't his fault either was it?" I could hear the anger picking up in her voice.

"The tether was to keep Sam from latching on to something that could have ripped him apart." I sighed, but how the hell was I going to even counter that one, I mean I honestly had no argument besides that to explain why Dean had done any of that.

"So it was all for Sam, all to keep him safe?" She sighed.

"Just the tether, the rest of it… I don't know, Danni, I really don't but I do know that there was no way Sam could have handled that much darkness." I sighed.

"All this time, all these months, Ali," she sighed, rubbing her hand across her forehead, "Dean means the world to me, I love him, I'm in love with him and I want this to work, but if he can't get past you…"

"Yeah, I get it," I sighed and shook my head, placing my hands on my hips, "but I don't know how to help you, or him."

"You know what," she whispered, staring me in the eyes, blue for blue, "I'm done. This conversation is done."

"Danni," I closed my eyes as she turned and headed off towards the bar. Ugh! Why did everything have to be so screwed up? "Danni!"

She raised her hand as she walked away, basically telling me that she was done… again, and I let out a breath, looking up to the sky.

I couldn't move, not from the spot that I had stopped in as I turned in a circle, looking for a way out, a way back, or just another way to end everything but I was surrounded by nothing, literally nothing. Summerford was just a tiny place and the only thing I saw was trees. Heading off in a completely different direction, I grabbed my phone, flipped through the contacts and stopped on Dean's name. For a moment I debated, before I scrolled past him to Sam's number and let it ring before I put it to my ear.

"Ali?" His voice was soft, as if he were trying not to alert anyone else to who he was on the phone with, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, no so much, Sam," I smiled, which was the complete opposite of what I wanted to do.

"What happened?" the way his voice jumped an octave made me smile, but it quickly faded.

"Ah, well, Danni is headed back to the bar, I think," I replied as I stepped onto the worn trail that lead into the woods, "I just wanted to let someone know."

"Do you want me to come pick you up?" he was suddenly filled with concern, which stopped me in my tracks.

"No, no, I'm just," I took a breath because, yeah, being alone was so the smartest thing in the world, "I'm fine, Sam, I'm just going to walk back, it's not a problem, we weren't that far up the road and I'll be alright."

"Are you sure?" he was tender, much like needed him to be, but the way his eyes looked at me earlier seemed to shock me back to everything I needed to get away from.

"Yeah, Sam, I'm sure." Taking the phone from my ear, I pressed the _end_ button and took a deep breath before looking up into the woods, overgrown with ferns but starting to get into the fall spirit as the leaves that had turned colors started to drop around me. "I am so totally sure."

It didn't take me long to get lost, it also didn't take me very long to figure out that I had made a colossal mistake… again! These woods were not like the ones behind the bar, there wasn't any clearing, there wasn't going to be any Crowley, or appearances by some studly angel, but they were going to start to get very, very dark soon and I was lost in them. LOST!

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and leaned back against a tree. For a few moment, I just needed silence. The quiet of the woods, the way the creatures around me chirp as the crickets and the frogs began to sing their nightly song, that was what I needed to clear my head, but my hand was set against my pocket, waiting for the vibration of the phone.

How long was I out here for?

It was shortly after I stopped, mere minutes after I closed my eyes that I heard the sound of boots hitting the stale leaves that coated the ground, stopping right in front of me. I smiled, everything in me was pulled to the familiar presence that stood before me and I took a deep breath.

"Took you long enough, how did you…" but when I opened my eyes, the smile instantly faded as ruby red lips and dark hair filled my vision, her blue eyes were bright with anger and she reached out, grabbing me by the back of the head, fisting a handful of hair between her fingers. "Son of a bitch! I thought I was done with you!"

"Oh, you still have a lot to remember, Alison." She grinned, like those were the only words she knew, the only way she knew how to taunt me, and suddenly her other hand was on my cheek, her thumb pressed under my jaw, holding me there. "Here, let me show you."

"No tongue this time," I tired to laugh, because if I didn't laugh, I was going to go insane.

She stared into my eyes, didn't squeeze my throat, didn't attack my heart with her claws, nope, this time she just stared, but that was when the blinding light hit just above my eye, sending my optic nerves into spasms, and giving me the mother of all migraines, but as soon as it came on, I was standing in my parent's driveway, looking at my own fourteen-year-old self reflected in the window of the classic red ragtop that sat in our driveway.

" _What the hell?" I whispered, suddenly caught up in a memory I didn't understand._

" _Alison!" My dad's voice boomed as he came out of the house, wiping his hand with an old red rag. He looked up at me, and for a moment, he didn't look as distant as I remembered. He was always just that side of holding me away that I had always thought it was something I did, but right now he was smiling at me. "Oh, good you found it."_

 _Looking down at the wrench in my hand, I felt the weight of it in real time. "Yeah, um, it was buried in the bottom of the toolbox."_

 _He held out a hand, to which I set the tool down before he went back to the engine of the ragtop. Why couldn't I remember the name of it? I could never remember the name of it but I knew we had it for a long time. Taking a deep breath, I looked around. Summers in Vermont were always wonky, either hot or cold days, but today was kind of an in between, until I heard that sound._

 _My eyes turned down the driveway, where our front yard turned into a dirt road from the main street and I watched it pull off the asphalt and turn to follow the road up. A beautiful 67' Impala was making its way up to our driveway and I stood in awe as it turned in. I remember that sound, I remember the look of it, and a deep, throaty voice came back to me._

"I told you to take care of her, not douche her up." _He said and my heart started to race. He didn't say it to me, but I remember him saying it, but while expecting a man my Dad's age to step out of the car when it finally came to a halt, one with bright green eyes and dark, dirty-blonde hair, I was surprised to see it was someone else._

" _Ali, go inside." My father's stern voice suddenly was in my ear, but I don't think I really listened because while the man, a tall man with dark hair, peppered with grays started to approach my father, his deep brown eyes showing me the world of hurt he had been through, I just stood there staring, until my eyes focused on the boy in the front seat. "Alison!"_

" _Ali?" the new man spoke as he closed the distance between his car and my father, which means he was closer to me. I glanced at him, but went back to the boy who was now leaning out the window of the car, his eyes locked on mine._

" _You're not supposed to be here, John!" My father snapped, which caught my attention and I stepped back. Yep, I was going inside now, but I did so slowly because my sight was back on the boy, the one with the bright green eyes, that was until the window behind him rolled down enough that I could see his younger brother, whose face was full of wonder as he looked around. "Ali!"_

 _I watched the boy in the front mouth my name as I finally turned and walked up to the porch door but I couldn't get past the sight of the two of them gawking at me, the boy or his father, but my curiosity landed on the new arrival in the backseat, who was smiling at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. Green-eyes, his brother, turned and mumbled something which made the younger one's smile fade and he tucked himself back in, rolling up the window. The front seat passenger was now back to glaring at me_

 _Where do I know you from? I whispered to myself and I did something completely unlike me at the time, I raised my hand and I gave him a little wave. I watched the half-cocked smile of a kid who thought he could get everything raise his hand in a timid way and give me a two-fingered wave, but he wouldn't let my eyes go, not until his mouth moved._

" _Dean," was all those lips said without a sound and I let the smile cross my face as he pointed at me and winked as that mouth formed, "Ali?" kind of questioningly. I nodded, and his thumb pointed to the back of the car, one again the silent conversation continued. "Sam"_

 _I nodded but caught the sounds of my father and "John" arguing low, but the tone was violent. My dad was refusing something, adamantly and finally, John cleared his throat, his gaze set on me before he nodded, giving in to whatever thing was going on between him and Dad and aggressively turned to head back to the car, but he stopped, noticing that Dean was staring at me before he spun and caught my eye, brows furrowing as he pointed at the young man to get back in the car, not that he ever left it, before sliding in the driver's seat._

 _Dean's eyes were on me as the car back out, his smile turned to a frown and those fingers came up again, but my dad was looking and I didn't wave, I just let the smile fall from my face as I locked onto the boy's stare for as long as I could, until the car faded from sight and the sound of her engine disappeared into the memories._

I felt my body shaking, the way that the cold and wet forest floor lay hard under me, the night had taken a turn and I was wracked with violent shivers but that didn't stop my mind from fading back into another memory, another time in my childhood that I didn't remember.

" _We're going to get in trouble and I'm not taking the blame this time." I growled as I found myself walking behind someone my own height, her brown hair falling in layers, swished in front of me._

" _Listen, Squirt, just do what I say and our Grams will never be the wiser," she spoke up and turned around to look at me. She was older than I was, but I knew the feeling of her being so close. Age didn't matter when we were together, because we were definitely like sisters. "Come on, Ali, you're fifteen, take a deep breath and just go with it."_

" _Screw you!" I snapped and watched her blue eyes smile as she pinched my cheek. "Don't do that Danni, Christ, you're like an old lady sometimes."_

" _Okay, Porter, what crawled up your ass this time?" She was honestly concerned but I said nothing, tucked my hands in my jeans and looked out at the stars as we finally made it to our destination._

 _In Gram's back field, there were more than a half-dozen old cars, most that had small trees growing out of them but our favorite was the old brown LTD that sat there, still mostly intact, right down to the interior, like Mother Nature was scared to touch her._

 _Taking a deep breath, the two of us climbed onto the trunk, Danni found her way to the cool glass and rested against it, crossing her arms and ankles as she looked up at the stars. I glanced up as well, noticing how the light of the town never hit this one spot and the sky was clear as a bell. After a moment of silence, I moved, sitting back so that I could rest my head on her shoulder as we both fell into a comfortable silence._

" _Your dad on your case again?" She questioned._

" _When is he not, I swear as soon as I turned fourteen I was instantly a disappointment." I sighed and shook my head, "problem is, I'm still having memory issues."_

" _It's the damn meds they keep making you take," she answered and I shook my head. "You stopped taking them?"_

" _Yeah, but they don't know know." I shrugged and adjusted my head, sitting up more as I brought one of my legs down to rest my foot on the bumper. "They make me groggy and forgetful, I think it's some of the side effects still."_

" _Okay, so why is he being an ass now?"_

" _Don't know," I whispered softly, "don't care. He's gone most weeks, only home on the weekend, guess it's better that way right? I mean most of the time he just comes home to bring me down here."_

" _I'm surprised at that, since Dad's gone and your Gram and him are constantly arguing."_

" _It's a way for them to get rid of me for a few days," I continued to look up, mapping out the stars. "You know, someday I will find out everything I need to know, like why the lapse in time, the memories, the bite."_

" _Still on that vampire kick?" Danni sat up and looked at me, her arms wrapping around the one knee she had pulled up. "You know that's why they medicate you right? Because you keep going on with that. If you just dropped it, they wouldn't bother you so much."_

" _So forget it even happened?" I turned to face her and watched her nod._

" _Yeah, pretty much."_

" _Pretend the rest of it doesn't happen too?" I whispered._

" _That too, because Ali, you know_ I see dead people _isn't exactly the best way to start off a conversation."_

 _She had a point, a really good point. I took a breath, pondered for a moment and then looked up at the stars and nodded._

" _Good," she answered me, "and be careful with the medication, the come down from them could kick your ass."_

" _Yeah, I know." I whispered, my thoughts traveling back to a boy who wrapped a towel around me, told me his dad was a superhero and took off before I caught sight of that black dog with the bright red eyes that was ducking back into the tall grass beside the river. "I know."_

"Ali?" His voice shook me, bringing the fact that my entire body was shaking back to the foreground and I groaned at the numbness in my fingers. I fought with my eyes to open, but they fought back twice as hard to stay closed, even with the strange feeling of being lifted jarred every bone in my body. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Sam?" I said softly, but it sounded like it came out nothing more than a moan as he laughed.

"Yeah, it's me, sweetheart," he stated almost as if he were dreading it, like I was hoping for someone else, when in all reality, I don't think I expected anyone.

"Mm, love you," I swear I spoke and he laughed.

"I love you too, Angel," he replied and those arms that held me pulled me in tighter as we moved flawlessly through the forest. It was just as we passed into the light of the streetlamp that I could even really move. I brought my hand to my eyes, shielding them and I sighed as I glanced up at Sam's face. He looked down at me as he stopped, eyes full of worry and he kissed me softly before moving towards the four that stood around the Impala. The only thing he called out was: "Blankets, Dean!"

The car was running, the blanket from the green cooler was at least warm as Dean wrapped it around me the best he could in Sam's unmoving arms before the younger one tucked the two of us behind the dash, letting the vents blow the hot air on me.

Taking my hand from under the blanket, Dean wrapped his fingers around my wrist and held my limp arm up, pressing my chilled fingers against the blowing heat. I groaned at it, knowing the pain that I was going to be in once the digits thawed out.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Dean snapped and I felt Sam take a deep breath, like he was holding down the reply he wanted to give his brother. "I told you to text or call when you turned around."

"She did, Dean," Sam answered and the kneading thumb of the older brother against the palm of my hand stopped.

"What?" he questioned. "Wait, you knew she was alone, that she was walking _alone_?"

"She called and said she was headed back, not that she was venturing into the woods."

"And you didn't think to tell the rest of us?"

"S'nough!" I snapped, still unable to get my lips to do what the hell I wanted them too, "M'fine!"

"You are so far from fine, Ali!" Dean growled, "I'm pretty sure you skipped fine and headed straight to completely screwed up, it's freezing out here!"

"Dean," Sam sighed.

"No! Sam!" he snapped, "what the hell, man?"

"Warm," I groaned, "just want to get warm"

I heard Dean take a breath, stowing the argument with his brother as his hand came up to touch my forehead, brushing back the hair. I flinched, thinking that it might still hurt but the warmth of his palm felt too good to deny, and I could feel all of Sam's body heat radiating through me without pain so I curled up more against the moose of a man even as I leaned into his touch.

"Okay, Kid, we'll get you back to the motel and you can shower." He stated softly before tucking my arm back under the blanket and letting me go. I felt the heat of the older Winchester move away but Sam's hand just came up and pulled me closer. It was then that I realized, I hadn't opened my eyes since earlier, and I really didn't want to. The driver's side door opened, I felt the weight shift the car and before I knew it, the engine was fired up and we were moving. "Sam, we really need to talk."

"Haven't you guys talked enough?" I mumbled, growing aggravated. "You're never going to be alright if I'm around, so just try to work together."

"Hey!" Dean huffed, his fingers running down the length of my hair, "none of that! Sam and I, we'll figure it out, we always do."

"I'm so tired of being the reason the two of you fight," I grumbled, not sure anything I was saying was coherent.

"We both love you, Al, that's the reason we fight, because we both want what's best for you, and Danni, and sometimes we don't agree on it." Sam added.

"Like all the time," I gruffed and felt the silent laugh flow through Sam's body.

"Why don't you just shut your cakehole and get some rest," Dean teased, and I gave the best nod I could, letting my hearing stretch past the sound of the engine, the blowing of the heater to the noise of the Mustang that rumbled down the road behind us. "Jesus, Danni is going to give me a heart attack if she keeps tailing me any closer."

"She's just worried, Dean." Sam defended.

"I know," he said softly, "I know."

The bathtub was warm, the water wasn't too hot, and _finally_ the pins and needles were starting to leave me alone, but I could hear Dean and Danni bantering back and forth outside the door, and my quiet was broken as Sam finally snuck in, closing the door behind him as he peeked out, shutting the door softly.

He sat down on the toilet seat and looked me over as I lay in the water, my eyes only opened a slight bit to see what he was doing before the smile crossed my face. With a sigh, he slid down to sit next to me on the floor, reaching into the water to trace fingers across my stomach as he leaned his head on his arm.

"What were you doing?" he asked softly.

"Taking a walk, clearing my head." I shrugged.

"What did she show you this time?" He whispered, and that opened my eyes all the way, my blue one connecting with the ever changing colors of his. "Dean said you had a memory in the room earlier and when I found you, you were saying something about me and Dean, so…" he sighed, "what did she show you?"

"The fact that we all met when we were younger." I replied and watched as he closed his eyes, like he had known something like that would happen. "Sam, you and I, we've met before."

"When? Where and how come I can't remember?" He sighed. "I'm sorry, are you okay? I mean, most of the time when she hits you, you go down pretty hard."

"Besides the dumb luck of passing out in the forest, I'm good." I moved so that I was leaning up against the tub. His hand, the one that had been caressing my stomach was now running up and down my spine. "Your dad came to my house in Vermont, you and Dean were in the car, in Baby and my dad and I were working on the ragtop. They fought, our fathers, words not fists but you saw me, so did Dean, until your dad drove away."

"Ragtop?" Sam whispered, "not an old red and white one, was it?"

"Actually, yeah." I sat back a little to catch his gaze.

"I remember that I kept asking what it was but Dad was too busy scolding Dean for something," Sam smiled. "He kept asking who you were. I mean for weeks, and then he just stopped and when I asked about the car, asked Dean I mean, he told me he had no idea what I was talking about."

I knew it. Son of a bitch, I knew it!

I put my hand on his cheek and looked him straight in the eyes. "They drugged us, with a spell, our fathers drugged us so that we didn't remember, so this wouldn't happen. So that none of us could be together. None of us."

Realization came to his eyes and at first he was confused, but then it faded and Sam Winchester, who tried his best to stay as calm as he could, well, Sam got pissed.


	101. DH Remembrance - 35

**Chapter 35**

I Remember You

Sam didn't leave me in the bath, in fact he rarely left my side for the rest of the night. It would have been a little funny if he had insisted that he carry me to the bed, but that didn't happen. Thank God, because that's not weird at all. I moved slowly, my muscles still tense from the weather and the warped sense of _hey, you really need to remember_ , but I knew one thing, especially as I curled up under the blankets, Sam wrapped around me from behind, I wasn't going anywhere fast.

Danni had decided to stay the night, and while she was at the table tapping away at the computer, Dean sat on the bed next to us, his legs out straight, as he worked on whatever it was that had been discussed during our little "talk" time, not that I remembered anything, but apparently there was something really big going on.

I watched his eyes as mine threatened to close, the way his looked up from the screen and then at me for just a second before going back to what he was doing. His lips parted, he took a shaky breath in, like he wanted to say something but then they clamped down once more, his jaw clenching as he glanced just beyond me at his brother. Their stares lingered before Dean licked his lips and went back to what he was doing.

Yeah, this was a dance that seemed to go on forever, at least until Danni climbed into bed with him, laid her head against his shoulder and Dean closed the laptop. He reached over, glanced at the two of us one more time and flipped off the light, with no words exchanged. I took a deep breath, felt Sam's arm wrap just a little tighter and his lips caressed the back of my bare neck. The short hair was good for something but the goose bumps that rose from his touch made it awful warm in the room and despite wanting him to bring me up another notch, I found that his touch was soothing me into a light sleep, one that I very much needed.

It was later on, sometime in the night, when the room was still too dark to make out the figures that should have been trapped in the blankets, that I heard the light whispers outside what I assumed was the door. I could smell the light scent of Dean's cigarettes, hear the sounds of the two male voices that chattered back and forth and rolled over to stare at the empty bed beside me. The brothers were having a late-night pow-wow. Perfect.

On stealthy bare feet, I slipped from the bed and made my way towards the door, staying just on the darker side of the shadows, and the windows, knowing that if it opened at any point, I had a beeline for the bathroom or the bed, my choice. But as I looked out between the curtains, I could see Dean standing at the edge of the car, just by the front end of baby, his hip leaning against her as he took a drag, lighting up the end of the stick. Sam paced, dressed in jeans, an open flannel and his light canvas jacket, which made no sense to me on why the boy was bare-chested if he was going to wear layers, but I could see that Dean was only in a tee-shirt and jeans, so for September, and for these two hotheads at least, it wasn't very cold outside.

"You're out of your mind if you think this is even close to a good idea, Sam," Dean's rough voice, still full of sleep, as if he had been shaken violent from it, filled my ears.

"I know what you think, Dean, but you gotta let me take point on this if there is even a remote chance of it working," Sam snapped, still pacing, but when Dean turned suddenly, his movement ceased.

"Take point? Sam, this is not a game! This is our freaking lives here, this could be a hell of a lot more dangerous than we realize, I mean, come on, we _willed_ it to life!" Dean's growl became deeper.

Willed what to life? I wondered, but then again, it was the middle of the night and nothing was sticking.

"You don't know that, you don't… and if it saves them, what does it matter?" Sam's argument was less than stellar and I was leaning towards Dean at that moment, and I still had no idea what was going on.

"It's our lives too, Sam, you don't seem to get that either. Look at what we just had to go through because Ali took crap into her own hands, and Crowley? Are you serious?" The cigarette was snuffed and tossed before Dean stepped towards his brother. "Angels! Demons! It doesn't matter who gets involved, Sam, this will all go to hell, and you know it. Why? Because it always does."

"They drugged us, Dean!" Sam snapped. "To keep her away from you, them away from us, Dad and her grandmother poured some sick concoction down our throats in order to keep us apart. What the hell do we do with that? Are we not supposed to be together?"

"What?" Dean shook his head. "Of course we're supposed to be together! You know that, you can feel it, and what Dad did, yeah, it sucked because that kept them from us for years, more years that I even want to think about, but going full-barrel into something with Crowley to stop something we more than likely created… Sammy, you know better than anyone that it can't end well, not with him involved."

"It's our only way, Dean, the only way that I can come up with that might _change_ something, get us off this path, so that there isn't anymore spell involved."

Dean put his hands on his hips and lowered his head. I knew what was coming and Sam should have too, it was the posture Dean always took before really letting it out, before his MEGA speech, but Sam stood there, like he was ready to take on anything that his older brother threw at him. Arms relaxed, dancing on his feet, back and forth shifting his weight and it occurred to me that I had never really seen Sam sit still unless he was actually sitting, even then he was shifting.

"In our long, long history of hunting and I'm talking from the moment Dad put you in my arms and I hauled ass out of that house, how many times do you think we have been under a spell? Or had a demon on our ass? There will always be another one, another witch, another demon, hell vampires, werewolves, freaking ghosts, Sam, there will always be _another_ monster. Why? Because it's our job, it's our life. We're hunters, it's in our blood and that's what we find, we go out and we kill the sons a bitches before they can hurt other people. And yeah, it's pretty screwed up when they come into our lives and we have to deal with this kind of aftermath but right now, I wouldn't trade it in," Dean whispered. "I have you, Sammy, I have you right now, Cas and Ali and Danni, hell the fact that I have Jo and Christian back in my life, well, I'll take that as a win any day no matter the reasons for it. So yeah, there might have been a spell that made us forget when we were kids, some sort of hoodoo tying Ali and I together now but you know what, I'll take that too, because anything is better than not having the two of them here with us. Anything, except working with that douchebag."

Sam clenched his jaw, his lips growing tight as he looked up at the stars, which were fading as the sun threatened to peak, but it was still a ways off and slowly his eyes came back down on Dean.

"Fine," he said softly, "I'll find another way, something without Crowley or Cas, because this thing isn't going to stop gunning for her until we get back to Virginia and destroy it."

"And I'll be right beside you when we do, but you gotta know how bad it can get when you go that route."

"I get it, I do," Sam stated, harshly, he looked as if he were going to go on but I watched his hands tighten into fists and I closed my eyes. Yeah, he got it, but the anger got him. "Go back to bed, Dean, catch a few, keep the girls safe, I need to take a walk."

"Yeah," Dean's reply was one of frustration and I shook my head.

Both Winchesters were stubborn fools and there was no way that Sam was giving up his fight, not to save family, it was the unhealthy codependency we all loved to watch on the show, but seeing it in real life, watching the pain they put each other through to keep the "family" together, was heart wrenching. As Sam walked down to the end of the car, disappearing from my view at my secret spot, I watched Dean turn and stomp his way to the door. Screw it, I wasn't moving. He turned the knob, stepped in and took a breath as he turned to look at me, as if knowing I had been there the whole time.

"Dean?" I wanted to reach out to him, to wrap my arms around him but he took a breath, shook his head as he raised his hand and didn't say a word, just walked by into the bathroom where he closed the door lightly behind him, mindful of the woman on the bed who was probably wide awake and had heard the entire thing.

I slipped on my sneakers, grabbed my jacket and scooted out the door, closing it behind me. I needed to find Sam, needed to make sure he was alright, and then I needed that damn book back.

I followed the fact that he had rounded the end of the car, picked a direction and hoped it was the way he went, which was towards the other end of the rooms. Slowly, I paced my steps, making the least amount of noise as possible before I stopped just before stepping off into the grass and looked to my right. The light from the bathroom was on in an empty room, and the door slightly ajar, which had me licking my lips.

Sam was in there, I could feel it.

With a deep breath, I moved, pressing my palm against it, hoping not to get shot as I pushed it open and looked inside. It was set up almost like the one we were in for the night but I could see the shoulders of the man through the partially closed bathroom door. Yep, I was in the right spot. I left the door just slightly open so that the click of the lock wouldn't surprise him, then again, sneaking up on a Winchester in one of these moods might get my neck snapped too, but as I stepped just past the corner of the bed, I watched as he pulled back and punched the mirror full force.

The sound of breaking glass echoed in my ear and my memories flashed back to that sound, and that night, the one when he came crashing through my window and the fight that ensued shortly after. My heart raced as I saw him start to trash the room, with me far enough away that I wouldn't be touched by anything, not the lamp that hit the ugly framed picture, not the television that came crashing down, not even the magazines that lined the dresser, okay, used to line the dresser, came anywhere close to me as he flung it.

In my mind though, I could see the vampire raise up, the teeth spring out, the way the blood dripped from them and his hand, his hand on my shirt ripping me down onto the floor against him as he swing with what strength he had. In reality, I stepped between him and the dresser drawers he was gunning for next.

He stood, fist clenched, hair down in his face, breathing so heavy it moved his impressive chest, hell it seemed to move his body with every deep breath, and I stared into those blue-green eyes. Not hazel, no, there wasn't a speck of brown in them at the moment, just the ever changing sea of storms. He didn't move as I reached up, cupped his cheeks with my hands, what little they covered, and brought him down… would that be accurate because the boy had probably eighty pounds over me there was no way I was bringing him anywhere, but his lips crashed against mine all the same.

I stepped forward, as he stepped back, and slowly as the kiss continued, as his hands reached forward and unclenched before grasping my waist, I breathed in his scent. Sleep, and woods, the air of a hot summer day, it all clung to him and made him who he was. I teased his mouth with a slide of my tongue, getting a gentle moan as a response and knew that he was trying hard, pulling on that feeling of our lips touching, not rough and demanding like we found ourselves during needy times, but soft as they came together like a puzzle and I pulled away, my forehead, cheek, nose, any part of me that could stay connected did but my lips parted.

"You done?" I whispered, not laughing because it wasn't a playful moment, it was a need to know he was alright.

"Yeah," he whispered, his legs hitting the bed and I felt the warmth of his breath, the one last heave of his chest taking in a deep breath as he slowly lowered himself, not letting me go, "yeah, I'm done."

When Sam was seated at the edge of the bed, now just an inch or two shorter than me, I was able to tilt his head up, not taking my hands from him and pulled him back into that kiss, brushing along his mouth a few more times as the way his body shook seemed to ease and that was when the door banged open.

I moved my hands, sliding them back to tangle in his hair as he put his forehead against me, just below my chest and his hands moved from gripping my hips to nearly tearing through my shirt as his fingers curled around the fabric. I didn't step away, I wasn't going to let him move but I looked up at a shocked Dean and Danni who stood in the doorway, staring at the destruction.

"Christ, Sam!" Dean spoke up, but his voice wasn't harsh, it wasn't angry either. The older brother raised his hands to his hair, gripping it just a little as he looked over everything and then at me standing in front of his brother. "What the hell happened?"

I shook my head, that was all I needed to do, because Dean's eyes fell on mine and his hands came down. Sam gripped harder, like he wanted to let go and fight, physically fight his brother, but I wove my fingers tighter, pressed his head down against me and let that connection stick as he blew out a breath, not saying a word.

"Alright," the older Winchester sighed, and he placed a hand on Danni's shoulder. "We'll come back in the morning and help you clean up." I watched as he raised a brow at me, asking me with just those green eyes if I would be okay, I only nodded and looked down at the back of the brown head of hair in my hands. "Get some sleep."

Again the only response was a nod but I heard the door close without looking up again.

I just stood there for a long while, letting him breath, to find his center because he never bothered to move, which was fine with me, but his hands relaxed, they released my shirt and his long arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer, holding on for what seemed like his life depended on it. I'm sure the safety of the room sure did.

When he finally did move, it was to bring his hand down, tracing it over my hip, over my backside and down my thigh until he could grasp it around my knee and pull me towards him and I found myself straddling his lap. His head came away from me, but he didn't meet my gaze, instead his lips moved over my exposed skin, where the loose V of my shirt dipped low. By the time he got to the curve of my neck, where he drank in my scent, pulling in a deep breath, I was quietly moaning, eyes closed tight because that was what he did to me.

We had explained and apologized, pleaded and cried in the bathroom over stuff that had gone on in Virginia, we had buried the past under a fleeting cover of acceptance that this was just what we did for each other. It was a poor excuse to get by, but it worked, it put us back where we wanted to be, safe in each other's arms. And when his kiss rose to meet mine, when his hand grasped at the hair at the back of my head, holding me to his demanding lips, all seemed to be forgotten because if there was anything we were good at, this was it.

Stripped bare and willing, my fingers roamed the warmth of his skin as his hips rolled up, his length gliding into the heat deep inside me, and I rested my hand against his stubbled cheek once again, lips parted, breathing in the air that passed between us as I pressed down on him, hearing the low moan that escaped him only made me want to go fast, take more, but this was his pace, his need and anyway he needed it, that was what I was going with.

Sam set a torturously slow rhythm, trying to draw out everything, including the monster inside me that needed it rough and hard, but I found that I liked the torture just as much, the edge that it kept me on, especially when he turned me over gently, and lay me down on the bed as he towered above me. Smiling up, I gripped his hair, his lips were too far away and if he was going to get that close with his body, the way he brought my hips up and encouraged me to lock my legs around his waist, than that freaking mouth was going to be on mine.

He didn't need an invitation to delve in with his tongue, I was open and willing as he thrust forward, moving deep as he swirled around mine. Yep, I think I loved Sam's torture better, as his tongue began to mimic what his hips did and oh, it was heaven. Slow and steady, except when I felt him thicken.

"Sam," was all I could whisper as my body started to shake. It wasn't the way he growled in my ear, or the feel of his teeth against my neck that pushed me over, but the soft sway of his hips, the feeling of him inside, the gentle way that the back of his fingers traced over every exposed inch of skin they could find and I push my head back, let my eyes open wide, even as the vibration ripped through me and my toes curled, heels dug in deeper, surging him forward.

Sam stilled for just a second as I heard him gasp, then move in short even thrusts, his breath coming just as quickly as the warmth that spread through me and I watched his jaw clench before his lips parted and he tried hard to breath through the feeling that was taking over his body.

When he finally started breathing again, I couldn't help but smile as I pushed back the sweat-soaked hair that stuck to his face. He gently reached back and unhooked my legs, before sliding his arms under me, essentially scooting me up to put my head back on the pillow. He growled, actually growled as he slipped out, but strangely enough when he was settled, he reached down and gently pushed back in, needing that connection, and I was good with that.

"I just wanna stay this way for the rest of the night," he admitted, grabbing the pillow so that his head was off to the side of me, his body molded to mine from the hips down, but he was just off my chest enough so that I could breath. I turned my head to catch the attention of his lips again.

"I can agree to that," I smiled, feeling the wet warmth of his kiss, and slowly, his lips went slack, letting me know that he had finally falling into some sort of light sleep.

For me, the usual happened, post orgasm and I'm wide freaking awake, but I didn't want to leave the feeling of his body, the weight that it gave me, holding me down as my thoughts jumped skyward. I took a deep breath, hoping it would settle me, but it only reminded me of the conversation Sam had with Crowley, and it ripped me back to a time in my life when I had ventured away from New England, just outside of a rest stop in Delaware.

I was on my own, ratty old pick-up truck and the road. I had enough at home, I needed to get away and while I usually went north to road trip, something this time had pulled me south, something I didn't understand and didn't care too. I wasn't headed for any particular destination, in fact, I wasn't even sure how far south I was going, but New Orleans seemed like a good go-to, I mean at the time, now I just knew too much to feel comfortable without my gun.

So that rest stop, the old beat up truck, a 79' Ford F150, rigged with electric windows, because I could and a hole in the passenger side floor, that beast was my baby, even with her many, many problems, like the carburetor issue, which is what I was having right now.

 _I stood on the bumper of the truck, thank God I was light enough, or that it was just made sturdy enough to hold me, and leaned over to spray the Carb starter into the damn piece of machinery. Hopping down, I moved to the open door and slid onto the bench seat to crank the engine over. NOTHING! Nothing but pouring gas into a spot where it didn't need to go._

 _I let my head fall back against the vinyl backrest, looking up at the mirror as I listened to the sound of the car approach the pumps. Turning to look out the back window, I saw the most beautiful car pull up, a 67ish Chevy and smiled. Damn, what I wouldn't give for that car, but my smile faded as I watched an older man get out from behind the wheel. A young man with bright green eyes meet mine as he slipped from the passenger side and made his way by, headed towards the small convenience store but it was the next one that got out that got me curious. He was tall, just as tall as the one who had already walked by, and he glanced up at me as the older one yelled at him not to wander far, which only got a smile from the car's third occupant._

 _I knew what was going to happen, especially when he looked up and saw the hood open. Stealing my gaze away, I reached for the key and cranked it over once more. NOPE! NADA! I love this truck but right now, I hated it._

 _With a growl, I hopped out again, did I mention it was like an eight-inch drop for me to hit the concrete, hey I'm short but this truck to me was the best thing ever. Placing the can along the inside of the firewall, I bit my lip as I grasped the metal once again and jumped up onto the tire this time, knowing it could take my weight and I leaned over trying to get a better angle on the carburetor._

 _A shadow loomed over the engine across from me and I looked up to meet bright bluish-green eyes, ones that sparkled as the shy smile he gave me reached them and I couldn't help but smile back._

" _Hi," he said softly, like he was questioning what the hell he was doing standing there. I glanced up again, raised a brow and continued to tug on the piece in my hand._

" _Hi yourself," I grinned back and stood up straight, sneaking a peek at the car still at the pump, the man I only assumed to be his father was bent low filling the tank. I gave him a wink of approval as I turned my attention back to him. "Nice car."_

" _It's my dad's," he shrugged._

" _Take the complement, hot stuff." I laughed, God when was I ever this flirty? I don't remember being this open with anyone, but this kid, there was something about him._

" _Are you okay? I mean do you need help with something?" He asked as I leaned over the engine again._

" _Nah, she does this all the time." I shrugged, "should have probably replaced it before I left, but when you got a mechanic for a dad, well, nothing really gets done on your own cars."_

" _Yeah, I know what you mean," he laughed, leaning his arm on the truck. "My dad is a great mechanic, I'm sure he would help if you needed it."_

 _I stood straight again, watched as the man at the back end of the Chevy stood and glanced over at me. I watched his face pale, the way he looked over me, the truck and the plate, before he swallowed hard and all expression fell from his eyes. He replaced the cap, closed up the license plate and grabbed his wallet, headed past us to pay. That was when the other man walked by, whistling as he bumped the one that was occupying my vision now, and we both turned to see him grin back, winking at me._

" _What a jerk!" I growled, defending the new "friend" I had made, but the kid only laughed._

" _That's my older brother, Dean, he didn't mean anything by it," he looked at the older one like he worshipped the ground he walked on and I shook my head. "What?"_

" _Wish I could look at my siblings that way, mostly, I just look away." I replied and shrugged. "Middle kid," I explained looking up, "kind of the black sheep."_

" _Is that why you're on the road alone, all the way from Mass?" He questioned and this got me to look up at him, snapping my eyes to the wrench beside me. He raised his hands. "Relax, it was just an observation."_

" _So you're that kind of guy, see everything and store it away?" I did relax, which was unusual for me. He just nodded. "Oh good, well, Mr. Observant, my name is Ali."_

" _Sam," he offered and reached out a hand, one that I took in my grease-covered one and shook softly._

" _Sam," I repeated and suddenly was flashed back to a time when a car just like that one was sitting in my driveway,and I couldn't ignore the feeling of some sort of electric shock when he touched me . "Huh, nice name."_

" _Thanks, I like it." He said smoothly but it was when his father walked by grumbling that it was "time to leave, Sam" that the young man before me tapped on the red paint of the truck and took a deep breath. "So, be safe, Ali."_

" _Yeah, you too, Sam." I grinned back and watched as he walked away._

 _Hopping down from the tire, I slipped in and turned the key, the truck turned over and rumbled to life about the same time as the Chevy, and I stood on the rocker panel as I watched the car pull away, Sam leaned out the window, smiling as he heard the truck start up, and gave me a wave, but I saw his brother glance back as well and I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew them from somewhere._

I breathed him in as the memory seemed to fade. Sam, a young Sam, had been so close, and I had touched him. I remember the feel of his hands against mine and I sighed. I wish I had known that before I put that blade to John's chest so that I could have punched him, one last haul off and deck before the end.

Sam had moved somewhere in the night, moving all of him but his legs off to the side of me and I turned to look at his peaceful face. Turning, I rested on my side, my hands tucked under my pillow as I stared for a moment before reaching out to brush the unruly locks from his face and he sighed. I smiled, couldn't help myself, but it was the rush of warmth against my bare back that had that smile fading, and I went still as the sensation of fingers ghosted along the tattoo at the back of my neck.

"I swear on everything that you call Holy, Castiel, that better be you!" I managed to whisper low enough to still be a threat but not wake Sam at all. That was when I heard the low chuckle in my ear and let out a breath. Turning my head, just my head before I gathered the sheets up, I found myself staring into the eyes of an angel. Wanting to take that head of black hair and bounce it off a wall, I clenched my teeth and turned over as Cas sat back. "You're an asshole!"

His eyes narrowed, "I'm positive we established that in our relationship a while ago, Ali, revelations in the middle of the night aren't much of a surprise if you already know them."'

"Blow me, Cas!" I snarked and pointed at the shirt on the ground. "Hand me that so I can at least be somewhat descent while I sock you in the jaw."

"If you truly wanted your shirt, threats like that are not the way to go." He admitted, raising an eyebrow but he handed me the tee-shirt anyway. Giving me an ounce of privacy, he turned and made his way over to the table as I slipped the shirt on and quickly found my jeans, which I managed to slide into before he turned and sat down, his eyes resting on mine once again. I rolled my head back, really needing some uninterrupted sleep before I sat down across from him on the chair. "Ali…"

"If you say we need to talk, I'm going to hit you… hard!" I snapped and watched him smile. "Fine, but do it with your mind."

"Do it with my mind," he grinned.

"Jesus, Cas, pervert much!" I couldn't help but smile this time because he was in rare form. "I don't want to wake up Sam, so just, you know… mind-meld me."

"If you wish," he snickered and reached out, touching my cheek as I closed my eyes. I found myself sitting on the park bench, in a wide open field filled with trees and green grass. "Do you remember this place?"

"Yeah, you took me here a couple times in April, it's like a haven, right?" I looked up as he sat down beside me.

"Yes, very much," he smiled, "everyone imagines someplace safe in their head when things go awry, for you, this is your sanctuary."

"So, what is it that's going to go awry now?" I laughed and felt his fingers slip around mine.

"I know what and who is needed to break the spell." He sighed.

"The one between me and Dean?" I had hoped but he sat back a little uneasily.

"I'm afraid that one is permanent." and I felt the wind rush out of me. Great, so Dean and I were stuck with this forever. "The spell isn't just words, Ali, it becomes ingrained in you after so long and you and Dean sealed it when your first met."

"At the river?" I watched as his eyes flickered before he shook his head. "Wait, Dean and I met before the river? Before John pulled me out?"

"Yes, when you were just a little younger." Cas looked at me confused. "That memory hasn't come back to you yet, has it?"

I shook my head and sighed. "You're telling me that Dean and I… we'll always be bonded like this, no matter whether I break the tether or not, right?" Cas only gave me a nod as his eyes narrowed. "What about the blades? What about the magic from them?"

"That power has always been with you, Ali, it was just dormant. The blades only activated it, it didn't create it." I rolled my eyes, could this night get any worse. I felt him rub the ball right under my thumb and quickly I looked over at him. "To get rid of the tulpa, first you need to get rid of this, the one thing that keeps the powers from coming out is the lock you put on it when you listened to Asmodeus in the first place. What runs through you isn't meant to stay hidden, which is what this little thing does." I took a breath as he leaned down and kissed the spot where I had pressed the crossroad's pebble deep before he met my eyes again, "the next thing you need to know is that there are only two of you that need to be there to undo the spell, the two of you that created it."

"Oh, God, if you even say his name, I'm going to scream!" I griped but Cas only smiled. "Christ, is there anything that I can do without Dean Winchester riding my ass?"

"I didn't realize…" he paused and watched as I turned red. "I'm sorry, you leave yourself wide open for comments when you say stuff like that." But I had already looked away, hoping to get myself under control. "The two of you created that circle, whether Dean was an unknowing participant or not, but the devil's trap that contained Zane also had the symbol for the tulpa designed into it. It was meant to be created as a way to contain the magic, but you also forgot about it instead of controlling it and that's why we have this situation."

"If you had just told me…" I sighed, putting my face in my hands as I leaned down to rest my elbows on my knees, his hand going to my shoulders.

"Would you have listened?"

I scoffed, "not a snowball's chance in hell."

"Exactly, you and Dean created the circle, you have to break it."

"How the hell do you break a circle like that?" I looked over at him and watched that crazy half smile he loved to give me creep up on his lips.

"Go back to the source where you found it." Cas gave a little shrug and his lips tightened as I drew in a deep breath and closed my eyes.

When I opened them again, I was sitting alone in the motel room, Sam still asleep on the bed but Cas was nowhere to be found. One more thing to put on Dean, one more thing to drive a wedge between Danni and I and probably the very last straw that might break Sam and I but if it was the only way, what could I do?

I bit down on my lip, slipped on my shoes and grabbed Sam's large flannel, slipping it on as I went.

I knew what I wasn't going to do. I wasn't going to sit there because I couldn't let him see me break down and with a sigh, I walked out the door.


	102. DH Remembrance - 36

**Chapter 36**

Free Fallin'

I had been sitting out back of the motel, at the small glass table with the mismatched plastic lawn chairs for what seemed like hours, at least long enough for it not to be dark, and the sun to rise up high enough to noticed that this place was some sort of party spot. Hell, any place for hunters was a party when they needed the downtime but beer bottles, cigarette butts and the little ends of what I would assume were the leftovers of some definite happy grass littered the ground. It didn't stop at beer bottles as my watering eyes came down on a wall of bottles, mostly Jack, but there were a few others mixed in. A shrine to the Hunter's Courage that some needed to make it through the night.

I leaned forward in the chair, wiping my eyes for probably the millionth time, of the streaks that I thought had ended long ago, but nope, the tears were still finding their way out, still creating the tight feeling on my skin.

I had failed.

Failed to keep my family safe, my _other_ family because I knew my children were well guarded, but this one, Sam, Dean and Danni, yeah, I had totally messed that one up. Taking away their memories seemed like a good idea at the moment, but I was so wrapped up in defeating a monster, to making thing go the way I wanted, that I didn't bother to check what I was creating. I knew the sigils inside and out, how had I not noticed what I was laying down.

Now Dean was involved, _again!_ Which meant that Danni would be up in arms, totally her right to be because I was involving the man she loved in something dangerous. Take on a tulpa? Alone? Not knowing which way was up or how to really get rid of it? I mean they just burned the damn place down around it last time, I didn't believe it was going to be that easy this time, because if I did, I was the stupid one again.

And Sam, how was I going to convince him that playing with Crowley, even with as much as the man… demon, wanted to keep me safe, was a very bad plan, especially when it involved my grandmother's book, a book so strong that Jones made sure to lock it away for this many years. How did I know it was the only one? What about the other three in the coven? Wouldn't they have their own and seriously, would it have different spells in it or all the same?

Gram! She had taken those memories from me, ones of Danni, small ones of Dean and Sam, and apparently I hadn't remembered them all, I hadn't broken through the void yet to collect everything that I need to know.

"Sniffing back here isn't going to do a thing for you!" Danni's voice echoed in my ears and I snapped my head to watch her approach, my Danni, but not MY Danni, a younger version of her stepped through the glass, and up to the LTD that I sat on. A memory…

" _So, what's got you so up in arms?" She smiled and climbed up beside me, doing her best with the sweater she had on to wipe the morning dew that covered the lid. "And why the hell are you out so early in the morning?"_

" _What the hell did I do?" I growled. Huh, must be the question of my life, because even back then I was still finding myself asking it._

" _I'm not catching what you're tossing so how about from the beginning, with feeling?" I blinked at her, Bon Jovi, must be somewhere after 1988, and looking down at the clothes I was wearing, I was venturing towards early-90s, high school years._

" _Dad called, apparently I'm headed home early." I groaned. "Can't they just leave me here, don't they know how much I hate that city?"_

" _You have two more years of high school, Sis, and then you don't have to stay if you don't want to, you can road trip all you want." Danni smiled, knocking her shoulder against mine as she slid closer and laid her head on it. "You know our Grams aren't talking to each other right now."_

" _Yeah, I know, I overheard some sort of conversation last night." I shrugged._

" _Eavesdropping again, Al, you know that's just going to get you caught, right?" She was trying to be serious but she knew me too well to not want to laugh. Voices in the night woke me up, there was no way around them, and once I was awake I was draw to them. "So, spill," which did get a laugh from me because I knew she couldn't hold out, "what's going on?"_

" _Do you know a John?" I asked, the smile fading from my face as I turned to look at her._

" _Is your grandma pimping herself out?"_

 _Okay, um, eww! "That's not what I meant, Dan, I mean a man named John, apparently that was their whole deal, your gram told mine that there was no way she was going to continue making stuff for John if this was the way it was going to go down. Like, what the hell?"_

" _So how do you know it has something to do with you?"_

" _Well the line of: If Ali hadn't stopped to talk to him, everything would be fine."_

 _I watched the question come across her face before she asked it. "Talk to who?"_

" _That's what I want to know. Who the hell is up here in this podunk little town worth talking to? I mean, I have known almost every boy here since we were babies and there isn't a single one of them that I want to talk to, let alone a man named John." I sighed and rubbed my forehead before she took my hand in hers. "Maybe…" I paused and took a deep breath, "maybe it wasn't here in town, maybe it was the other day down in Brattleboro, remember when I told you we stopped at that gas station?"_

" _The hottie with the green eyes that you told me about, Mr. Dreamboat?"_

 _I scoffed at this and shook my head, "I never called him that."_

" _No, but the picture I got from you, wow, you should have at least got his number." Danni smiled. I forgot that she had a vivid imagination, it was almost like she could read my mind sometimes when I described things to her. "What did you say to him anyway?"_

" _If I remember right, it was "way to go, douche, you cracked all the eggs,"," I shrugged and Danni fell back against the window laughing. "What? It was a perfectly appropriate line, he did knock into me, though he looked like he was in an awful hurry."_

" _So, what did he say back?"_

" _Well, he started out with "if you were better looking," and then he kind of paused because his eyes, those damn green eyes just kind of locked onto me. He actually apologized, said that he was kind of in a hurry and didn't mean to bump me. He bent down and picked up the eggs, apologized again and handed me a couple bucks, but," I paused, "when he touched my hand…"_

" _What, you got all hot and wet?" My eyes darted to hers, and this was why she was the older one? I mean seriously, just to say stuff like that. "Sorry, nine years on ya, Al, I think I have innuendos down like a science."_

" _I was going to say it was like a flash, but thanks for getting that image stuck in my head." I turned all sorts of pink. I had been writing sex scenes for a while in my stories, but Danni was the only one who had ever read them. "I saw a whole bunch of things when he touched me, like I knew him from somewhere, and his face… Danni, he stopped smiling and went pale."_

" _Okay, so why wouldn't your gram want you to meet him, or Hell; even talk to him, it's not like you're going to ever see him again, that was two hours from here." She placed a hand on my shoulder as I sighed. "No matter what they say, Ali, you didn't_ do _anything, you talked to a boy, so freaking sue ya, but, now I'm curious about this shock treatment he gave you. What happened after?"_

" _Nothing, he kind of tucked tail and ran, but he just kept looking back, biting on his lip." I let my body slump back on the car. "There was something different about him."_

" _Yeah he wasn't a hillbilly, like you got up here, and he wasn't a city boy, like you have down in Mass, so he just kind of stirred things in you, so what."_

 _But that wasn't it, and how did I tell her what I knew? Knew about hunters, about the things that went bump in the night? How did I tell her I knew everything about this other world, and that he was part of it?_

"ALI!" Dean's voice broke through the memory, shaking me as I sat up in the chair, wiping the tears from my eyes once again. "ALI!" his voice boomed again as he started toward the edge of the buildings, but I heard doors slam and he apologized several times before I heard it once more, "ALI!"

"WHAT!" I snapped back, barking out my answer as it bounced off the trees. Dean rounded the corner and I looked up as his body, tight with worry seemed to relax in all one motion. He surged forward, grabbing the chair beside me, roughly pulled it over and he sat, thigh to thigh, mine tucked in between his, as he looked over my face.

"Christ, have you been crying?" he questioned, which was actual worry and not as harsh as it seemed, and his hands came up to cup my face, looking over the puffy redness there.

"No, I got dirt in my eyes, Winchester, get over it!" I grumbled back as I wiped at the sting in my eyes once again and I swatted at his hands, batting them away. "What are you hollering about anyway?"

"You were kinda missing, smartass!" he retorted and sat back, satisfied that I was no worse for wear. "Sam's freaking out and Danni is going off the wall because you just keep walking away without telling anyone."

"So, what, you volunteered to head the search party?" My tone was a lot quieter than I had hoped but he just took in a deep breath and looked around.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked, not bothering to answer my question.

"Just…" I wanted to tell him all the times that I remembered meeting him so far but I said nothing, just wrapped my fingers around his as he closed his fist up tight. "I just needed some time, okay, Cas told me a few things and I needed to process them."

"Cas was here?"

Dean's eyes went to my hands and I thought back to the egg incident, the way the shock ran through me, the confusion in the bright green ones as he stared me down and I leaned forward, placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him softly on the lips, lingering there for just a moment before I backed away.

"I thought you said to stop doing that," he whispered as his eyes came up to mine and I shrugged.

"I told _you_ to stop doing that, I think an emotional breakdown constitutes me getting away with breaking my own rules." I sighed and shook my head. "You said that when things with Sam and Danni were stable, when we figured out them, we would get to us."

"And?" He was right on top of this, on top of everything, and I knew that the Yale genius would see through anything I put at him. I licked my lips and shook my head.

"There's no breaking the spell, Dean," I saw his chest rise, but his breath was silent as he glanced around. "It was the reason that Gram and John did what they had to, because this thing between us doesn't end."

"So, now what?"

"We work around it." I glanced off into the woods and shook my head. "I love you, you know that, right? I mean really love you."

"I know," he bit down on his lip as he nodded, glancing down at his fingers, "And, you know I feel the same, but…"

"I get it, Sam and Danni all the way. It won't change what is always there, but we can do something about it, Dean, to make sure that our lives with those two are just that, living happily ever after with the ones we're in love with." His eyes closed slowly and I cleared my throat. "They did it, you know, they kept us apart for the same reasons, albeit stupid ones, but it worked, right?"

"Forgetting you? That's your answer?" His green eyes faded to a darker, angrier color as he sat back. "Not gonna happen, Kid, not again. My whole life I've been forgetting the most important people in it, every time I turn around, I get another memory of meeting you, of meeting Danni, so many times and yet, I didn't have a clue, and then this… Virginia, the last few months, not going to happen, Ali."

"I…" I took a breath, "I'm not saying forget, Dean, I'm saying distance, after this is done, we need the distance."

"You read that spell, right? Irrevocable pull and all that crap?"

"We can't base our life around a spell, Dean."

"We're not based around it, Ali, it's based around us, it is our life." he suddenly stood and looked down at me. "You and Sam, you really are meant for each other, because you both are playing with fire. I'm not one for fate, I mean, hell, I'd do anything to avoid it but when it comes to the three of you in my life. I'm going to go out on a very thin limb and tell you not to touch it. Don't play with what's written in the books, it's only going to end bad and we all know it."

Dean clenched his fists, shook his head and turned, walking away. I was suddenly thrown back into the memory of him moving away from me in the store, the way he glanced back over his shoulder and as he rounded the corner, I closed my eyes feeling a tear fall once more. Crap, this was going to be a sucky day.

Danni stood out by the Impala when I came around the corner a few minutes later, still wiping the tears from my face, hoping the puffiness had gone down at least some, but when I looked up at her, I know that my efforts were pretty much useless. She moved towards me, her arms wrapped heavily around me and all I did was let out a breath, leaning my chin on her shoulder as my body relaxed against hers. Sam stood against the support beam behind the car, watching over me, as I slowly raised my arms in an attempt to get them to do something other than hang there.

The weight in my limbs is what kept me from holding onto her tighter, not the fact that I didn't want to hug her. Lack of sleep was killing me slowly and right then, with my sister, my friend's arms around me, I wanted to fall into that blackness and let it take over. She felt it, felt my unwavering need and opened the back of the Impala up, guided me over to her warmth and comfort and let me slide in before she took the blanket that Dean always had so neatly folded on the cooler, and slipped it over me.

"Danni," I whispered, taking in a deep breath, fighting with my eyes to stay open just long enough for her to stuff the extra duffel bag under my head. I grabbed her hand before she could move away. "I remember you, I remember all of us when we were younger."

"I know," she sighed softly, "I've been remembering us too." Her eyes darted in Sam's direction and though I was sure she thought I missed it, I stored the strange reaction to memory and just let my lids drift closed. "Take a nap, Ali, we're going to clean up the room and then head to the Roadhouse. It will be a couple hours at most, just try to relax and sleep. Cas said you really needed it."

It was barely noon when I woke up, stretched out on the backseat of the Impala, her comfortable security wrapped all around me. I got why the boys called her home. She really was that, home, but I missed mine and I wanted this done. With a deep breath, I sat up and looked at the head of hair that occupied the passenger's seat, my gaze followed that hair down over his neck, and across broad shoulders before I sat far enough forward to see the profile of his face as he looked deep in thought over the reading he was doing.

My journal, the one I had showed him, the one that I had let Dean read, was open and exposed on his lap as his eyes took in every word.

"I supposed I could have showed you all that before and made it easier." I whispered as I came up and placed my chin on his shoulder, my hand coming around to caress the skin of his neck on the opposite side.

"I don't think it would have been much help, honestly," he smiled softly, "your notes are worse than Dad's. Half of the book reads more like a diary and the other half, almost like a book of shadows."

"To be fair, the book of shadows part was the God Killer blades and we had a lot of information." I shrugged.

"The tether spell is in here, the little incantations you used on Dean, even the Devil's trap for Zane, but it's smudged." He knew he had gotten my attention with that one when I leaned forward more and watched him flip to the page. Damn! He was right, the symbols were smudged, there was no way of making them out. "The one I don't get, is the pebble, why the hell did you do that? You locked away your powers."

"The blades wouldn't have worked if I didn't." I whispered as I sat back. Sam turned in the seat, put the journal down and eyed me over. "In order to sacrifice, to do what I needed to do, I had to let the magic be locked away. The pebble becomes part of you, it becomes kind of a vessel for the power inside you."

"And you got this from where?" I looked away when he asked, but his eyes narrowed as he tilted his head just a bit, one of those _you better answer_ kind of faces.

"Your dad, in one of his not possessed moments, left a letter…" I paused and grabbed the book from the seat. With a sigh, I pulled on the back of the binder, opening the fabric as I pulled it out and handed Sam the yellowing slip. "Here, just read it."

With a sigh, I let him go over it and watched the anger form on his face as he tried to keep his cool, tried to keep it all in, but I know he didn't have anything under control, not when he folded it up slowly and handed it back without even looking. The car door opened and Sam slipped out, slamming it behind him.

Crap!

Grabbing my jacket, glad to have it still in the car, I slipped it on before I pushed open my own door and slipped out into the brisk morning air, the leaves were falling and I could feel September changing. The snow might fly here soon and if not fly, then definitely threaten too. Sam was walking away, not towards the bar or anything else, just away and I followed him, grabbing ahold of his sleeve hoping it would stop the man.

I watched his chest rise as he let his feet come to a halt, but it wasn't a complete one as he moved to switch his weight, like I said, he never really stayed still.

"Talk to me, Sam," I whispered, pleaded and he licked his lips, "you're mad, obviously, but mad at who? Me or John?"

"Both," he snapped. "Dad for not coming straight to me…"

"Would you have listened? He was possessed by a Demon!" I replied, which got him to spin on me, look me deep in the eye and I watched his jaw clench.

"That didn't stop you from taking his word as truth." he grabbed my right hand and held it up, "you have a stone in your hand, a crossroads stone so hyped up with magic that you don't know what it's really doing to you, why would you even consider listening to a man who had a demon riding his ass for ten years? Why didn't you come to me first?"

"Like I said before, would you have listened?" He stood straight, towering over me by a foot and a half, not nearly as intimidating to me as he would have been to other people but his eyes never left mine. "Do you love me?"

"What?" He growled and shook his head, "that's the stupidest question I have ever heard come out of your mouth!" he was seething and I could almost feel the waves of anger flowing off of him. "Of course I love you, Ali, that was never the issue."

"Would you have take that gun and pointed it at me? Would you have pulled the trigger if I really asked you to?" I questioned and watched as he stepped back. I don't care what his answer was, that body language told me exactly what I needed to know, not a chance in hell, and I slowly exhaled. "That was the same thing John saw, your love, and that was why he told me to go to Dean, but that wasn't the reason why I did in the end. I went to your brother because of what I was becoming, what you knew for sure we could stop. But, there wasn't any _stopping_ it, Sam, there was only darkness getting worse, taking over and it was my way or the barrel of a gun."

"I'm not a weak little boy, Ali," he growled and I let my lips turn up in a small smile, one that was probably not the most appropriate for the moment but I sucked in my lip and reached out for him, gently stroking my hand down his arm.

"I never thought you were weak, Sam, in fact, you were probably the strongest of us all," I could hear the footsteps approaching behind us and I sighed. "You wouldn't give up hope, you never saw the dark side of me when all I saw was black. I gave up, I gave in but you never did, and that was why John said to go to Dean, because he knew you were too strong to say _yes_ , not to me. Like you always said, we would find a way to fix it, but at that point, to me, there was no fixing anything, there was just giving up. So, I did," I watched his eyes brim with tears as I swallowed, "I gave up, and I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'll be sorry for that forever."

Christian was the one that slowly came to stand next to us, but it was Sam that broke our stare to glance at his cousin.

"What?" he barked.

"Hey, don't kill the messenger," Christian smiled as he put his hands up, "the others were worried about you and since I saw what you did to the motel room last night, they kind of volunteered me to come out and check on you, but if you're good, I'll just go back inside."

"We'll be in in a minute," I whispered and watched as Sam just looked away, anywhere but me or Christian, as his cousin looked him over before his eyes landed on me. I gave him a little nod at the _are you okay_ stare he was giving me and watched him take a breath before walking away. Sam glanced down and moved out of my reach, and I waited for Christian to be out of earshot before I continued. "You may not believe me, Sam, hell, you may never trust me again, but at that point in time, when I was so hopped up on power or whatever was coursing through me, you were the one that I wanted, that I couldn't live without, but I didn't want to die. The choice wasn't simple, it wasn't black or white, but I would be damned if I was going to let you hurt if I died, I thought that was the only way to protect you."

"I didn't need your protection, Ali," he lowered down to look me dead in the eyes. "I needed you!"

And with that, he stood, ran his hands through his hair and walked away, just like that, he walked away.

I closed my eyes as the waterworks threatened again, ran my hand down my face before I turned and headed into the building. He was not going to like what I had to say about the Tulpa either, but what the hell, I was done playing around, trying to explain my actions. They all had their memories, what could I do with them except fill in the gaps of what I was planning, if they asked, which I hoped to God they didn't.

Jo put the plate down in front of me, the greasy, homemade cheeseburger was great to look at but the smell of it just turned my stomach. I smiled up at her as she placed a hand on my shoulder but I didn't have an appetite, which caught Danni's attention as Dean dug in and stuffed the thick sandwich in his mouth. He bounced like a kid in a candy shop, which got just a small grin from me as Sam shook his head and picked at his food.

Danni elbowed me and pointed at my plate. "Eat!" she ordered and watched me roll my eyes, "don't tell me you're not hungry again."

"Okay," I cleared my throat and gave her a slight smile, "I won't."

"Alison Porter, you better eat or I will tie you to that chair and make you!" her voice made my eyes snap up to hers but the thought of ties to a chair had my memories flashing back to the room, to Dean unconscious in the middle of the circle and I couldn't breath. I could only catch little gasps of air and in my head I could see each moment of my feet, the way that my hands moved as I circled Dean's chair, casting the devil's trap as I went. Cool hands were against my face, holding me tightly. "Ali!" the sound vibrated through the memory, making it shake and the vision distort, "ALI!"

"I cast the tulpa spell," I belted out and swallowed as my eyes focused on Danni. "When I had Dean in the warehouse, while we were setting the trap for Zane, I cast it in the devil's trap," I rattled off and glanced over at the green-eyed Winchester as he stopped chewing, his mouth full of the burger, "and he helped me close it."

"Oh, please don't tell me what I think you're going to tell me," Danni gruffed.

"Cas said the only people who can undo it, are the ones that cast it," I whispered, still staring at Dean, who managed to finish what was in his mouth.

"And Cas would know this how?" Sam sighed.

"Because he's Cas," I answered, I mean, it sounded totally logical to me right?

"You gotta be freaking kidding me," Sam was furious, and he should be but he shook his head and stood up. "Show me where it says this, Ali, show me!"

I stood up, pushing the chair back as I looked him straight in the eyes. Moving around the table, I stood directly in front of Dean, wrapped my hand around his arm, the best I could and pulled him up. Okay, so I didn't exactly pull him, the boy weighed more than me soaked and wet, but he got the point and stood.

His eyes went wide as I slipped my hand into his front pocket.

"Hey! Hey there, grabby hands, watch the package," but I watched his eyes cloud over for just a second as I brushed against him and closed my fingers around the impala keys. His breath hitched as he whispered my name. Close, too dangerously close. "Al."

Without answering, and with keys in hand, I headed out, moving towards the black classic car and her weapons cache stashed away in the trunk.

Popping it quickly, I moved to the back left corner where Sam stashed all the books, at least the important ones, and I moved several aside until I got to the one I wanted, tucked down at the bottom and it made me wonder, did they ever question where they got it from.

Closing the trunk, I placed the book on the metal, flipped through it until I found the one thing I was looking for, the devil's trap. With breath that I never realized I was holding until that point, I looked it over, ran a hand over my brow as I scanned the page.

Every symbol was the same as the Lesser Key of Solomon trap, save for one and the small adjustments made that put the extra warding on the edges of the star, but there it was, just between the bottom two points, the Tibetan sigil that I had written in my journal when I first entered the section after April. I had made myself aware of it, remembered it but there it was.

"Son of a Bitch!" I backed away from the car, my hands up in my hair as I walked a circle, trying to catch my heart before I looked up at the the two men who stood there at the edge of the steps. I saw Dean put his hand over his mouth, as Sam crossed his arms, but it was Danni that came down and stopped at the book, as I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to get a hold on the fury that raced through me.

She turned to me, anger in her eyes. "You did this on purpose!" She stated as she pointed to me, "Anything to have him save you, anything to get those boys attention and not just Sam but Dean too!" I shook my head but said nothing as i tried to keep myself calm. "Did you plan this out before? Like you did with Cas, make this part of your little memory trip?"

"Yeah, that's totally what I did, Dan!" I snarked and rolled my eyes, "I just walked up and convinced a damn demon to write a 500 year old book, oh yeah and fly back into the past to not only mess with our bloodline but also to possess John! Yeah, totally had this planned from the beginning!"

"Ali!" Sam warned but I shot him a look.

"What? Am I just supposed to sit here and take this?" But he didn't say anything else as I stepped up closer to her. "Believe anything you want, hell, believe that I hung the moon right over my birthday just to piss you off and make this all about me, but know there is only one real thing here. I never wanted to put any of you in danger, and if I have to figure this out myself, then so be it! You can go back to what you were doing before, hunting and… whatever… because I swear, if I never see another Winchester…"

"Alright!" Dean snapped, stepping between us as Danni started to ball her fist, ready to swing, and his green eyes looked down at me, "I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you, Kid!" He looked just as pissed but funny enough, I didn't care. I stepped back though as he turned to Danni. "Take a breath, sweets, you know she had nothing to do with a symbol, we'll figure this out, we just have to make some sort of plan."

"Don't defend her, Dean," Danni looked passed him at me and I shook my head.

"I don't need anyone to defend me." I replied through clenched teeth and stepped forward, wanting her to hit me, needing her to.

"Hey!" he snapped, staring at me from over his shoulder, "go walk it off!" But I didn't move, my blue eyes stayed locked on hers. "Ali!" his commanding voice made me look up, "go take a walk."

Why the hell was his eyes flickering from mine to the woods? With a deep inhale, deep enough to feel the cold breath hit the bottom of my lungs, I swung around and looked up at Sam, just once, watching as he never once moved off the porch, but took in everything that had been going on. I stared at him as I closed the book, took the keys out of the trunk and placed them gently on the black paint of the car.

His bright blue-green eyes kept mine locked, as if he knew what was going on and I swear to God, I saw him wink before I snatched the book up and walked away. Winked? Why the hell would Sam be winking? Did he know something? Was he planning something bigger than what I could come up with in my head, or was he just being Sam… but then again, that supportive man, the one who seemed to always have my back in Virginia no matter how dark it appeared to be getting, that man wasn't the one standing there. Sam and I had our differences, hell, this was the first time we had ever argued but then again why the hell was he winking.

I moved to the back of the building, started out into the field before I hit the woods and stopped, holding the book to me as I looked up into the sky. Yep, I had to do this and get it done, I wanted my family back, and I wanted to not have this thing wedged between us. I felt Danni slipping away the more I involved Dean, but this time it honestly wasn't my fault, he could have easily been out helping her with the sigils but the plan of action had been the most obvious one. Dean at the time wouldn't let me out of his sight, because of the tether and because he thought I was dangerous, so locking him up and tying him down was the best strategy to making Zane believe that we… or I as it were, really was up to no good.

"Cas," I whispered, closing my eyes, as I pictured that park bench, the way that the sun felt on my face. If I ever needed a haven, it certainly was now. "Cas, please."

"You don't have to beg," his breath brushed against my ear and I felt his hand come around, lying flat against my stomach as I shivered beneath his touch. The angel was getting good at these little flirting motions and I honestly hoped he found someone not so involved with other people to try them on. He hummed in my ear, and I felt the goosebumps rise up, "but then again, I think I kind of like it."

"Don't be a jerk, Castiel," I smiled and turned in his arms, his blue eyes filled with mischief. What the hell was I turning this angel of a man into? "I need you to do me a favor."


	103. DH Remembrance - 37

**Chapter 37**

Two Bottles of Whiskey

I stepped through the door, letting the screen close softly as I waited and walked over to the table that seemed to be situated between them all. Dean was leaning against the pool table, arms crossed, legs at the ankles but he didn't look up, at least all the way, his eyes seemed to find me from under his lashes.

Sam stood at the back of the bar, one elbow leaning against it as he milked the beer in his hand and his gaze was the one that found and held mine for the longest before I released the volume onto the hard top of the old table. Those observant eyes watched every movement I made and I watched as he gave me a slight smile before he looked down at the bottle in his hand, twirling it to move the liquid inside before he raised the opening to his mouth and took a long drink. I don't know why it fascinated me but I watched his throat as he swallowed and I couldn't help but shake.

It was Danni that wasn't waiting for me to ogle her, she was the one that came right up to me and I braced myself for the swing, closed my eyes and took a ragged breath. After a moment of silence, and painlessness, I realized the swing wasn't coming and opened my eyes to stare into her fuming ones. We stood there, two storms seeming to grow, a dark, thunderous silence turned into something that seemed to echo in my ear and I reached out.

I pulled her into my arms and held her tightly, like she had done that morning, except this time, I wasn't confused, I wasn't there to tell her that I had remembered, that I figured out a way. I was doing it for one reason.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, and I felt her breath catch as her hands steadied, because she wasn't sure if she was pushing me away or pulling me closer, before they were suddenly locked around me. "I know I've said it before, I know it might not mean anything but just listen." I focused on Sam, not really seeing him but I couldn't close my eyes as I spoke to her. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, it seems to be a pattern when I get close to anyone, I'm sorry for the lies, the pain and I'm sorry you had to go through the last few months alone. I hope you know that I was there for you when Wayne passed, I hope you realize that you didn't go through that on your own. You had me, you had Sam and Dean and no matter how it felt, we never really left you.

"I'm sorry for Virginia, I should have given you a choice, I should have stopped to think before acting, and Sam's right, I am impulsive, I do things that no one normally would because at the time I think they're the right thing to do, but sometimes, they're not, not even close." I was rambling now but that was okay because I was feeling her ease up in my arms. "You're my sister, the one that I thought of as soon as I remembered, the one that I needed to find, to save from this, but I didn't get it, just like the boys really didn't see it when we first met. You didn't need my saving, you never did. You have always been the strongest of us all, Danni, the bear amongst wolves, no need for a pack, just claws and anger."

"Why does it feel like you're saying goodbye?" She questioned, pulling away from me to look me in the eyes, to lock blue on blue and I reached up, cupping her cheek with one hand as I stood my ground and smiled.

"You're kidding right?" I laughed, "there's never goodbye, Dan, it's only ever been: Love ya, Dean."

"Love you, Sammy." She whispered back and I watched her think about all those time the phone calls ended the late night goodnight texts, the way that nothing would have ended without those words, even April when we were pulling out of the driveway, it had always been that way. No goodbyes, even when we hung up the phone.

"I have a Winchester to suck up to," I whispered and watched the grin spread across her face as I glanced over at Sam, and Danni turned to look him over as well. "We good?"

"Golden," she smiled as we turned back to face each other, stepping back to give room as she moved her arms to pat me on the shoulder. "Go get your boy."

I gave her a soft pat on the shoulder as I moved past Dean, glanced over at him from the corner of my eye and watched as his green ones locked on mine before he gave me a brief smile. I stood before Sam, looking up, not as far as usual mind you, but still up far enough to have to slip up onto the foot rail as he took another drink, this time looking me over like I was dinner.

"Hey, hot stuff," I whispered and that smirk came back as he surveyed the room once more.

"What's up, beautiful?" His voice was deep, no playfulness in it whatsoever and that alone made me tremble.

"Can I steal you from this lovely crowd for just a few minutes?" I watched as he stood, towered over me and backed me up against the bar, his fingers running over my cheek to my neck as he placed the now empty beer bottle down on the bar.

"You can steal me forever if you need to," he answered, leaning over to whisper it in my ear.

"Keep sweet talking me in that voice and you might not last forever." I laughed as I took his hand but ducked out from between him, giving him a gentle tug as I glanced at Dean once more.

The older Winchester hadn't moved from that spot, but his eyes followed me like a vulture, and the only emotion that was current was one of protection as his eyes went to his little brother, but I just smirked, that little curl of my lips had him taking a breath as the two of us headed towards the basement door.

Letting go of his hand as we stepped into the room, Sam walked a little ways out onto the floor as I found the closest counter to plunk my ass on, I needed to at least be somewhere near his height to talk to him, I mean come on, I couldn't crane my neck enough to get my point across without hurting something. Waiting patiently for him, I took a deep breath and swung my feet, as Sam gazed over the room before his body turned and his sight landed back on me.

Opening my thighs, not as an invitation for sex but one to bring him closer so he could stand between them, I cleared my throat but never said a word. One last glance in each direction and Sam was striding over, his long legs allowing him only second before his thighs were pressed between mine and his hands were running alongside them. I reached out and placed my hands on his chest, feeling the heartbeat under his shirt, letting the rise and fall of his breath move them and I sighed.

"You know what's going to happen, don't you?" I questioned and watched as he licked his lips, a motion that I had to watch before my gaze met his, a fury of emotions and the twisting of storms were evident in those blue-green oceans that held me in one spot with a look alone.

"I'm not going to stop you," he sighed, his hands running from my thighs up to my waist before he rested them on my neck, the weight of them a welcomed feeling and I closed my eyes. "You have a complex, you know that?" and I almost heard the smile in those words, "a stubborn, to hell with the world, sacrifice for family complex, and if I didn't know you like I did, I would swear somewhere in your bloodline there was definitely some Winchester, or Campbell, since Christian seems to be exactly the same as us."

"Funny, I always thought they called that a Napoleon Complex," I smiled and his thumbs traced my jaw, one lightly going over my bottom lip as he grinned

"Oh, that you most definitely have," he sighed as he leaned down and his lips brushed mine softly. "What do you want, Ali?" his breath brushed across my skin, and those fine hairs on my arms, the ones on the back of my neck, rose on end. "You're going to run headlong into battle, I know you, I can see it in your eyes, so tell me what you want from me."

"You, all of you, always," I admitted, and it was true, because I couldn't enough of him alone, but as I moved my arms to wrap them around his neck, I knew deep down, it would be too much. "But what I want is your kiss, for now, just your kiss."

As I spoke, I felt the heat come closer and I straightened just a bit as his mouth brushed mine, the feel of his warm breath shook me to the core and I waited, parting my lips, letting him control the movement, the method and when he pressed harder, all I could do was moan into him.

His tongue swept across the part, tasting just inside the wetness and I found my hands threading through his hair, wanting to bring him closer, but he pulled back, and I felt the rise of his cheeks as he smiled, teasing. His taunting stroke brought more of a flame to the core of my body than anything I could have ever imagined, and I pressed my thighs closed on his, hoping to ease the heat there, suddenly not wanting it to be just his kiss, but all of him.

With that movement, that gentle squeeze, that kiss became a heated mess of need and passion as he brought his mouth down hard on mine, delving his tongue into taste me, and I loved every second of it. Swirling around his, dueling as he tried to claim me, but I staked my own claim on him as I fought for control, until his hands came up and cupped my cheeks, holding me steady as he tilted his head just a little, just enough to move in and take over.

I whimpered against his mouth, my hips moving against him, trying to find release as his fingers trailed away from their hold, but I didn't move, I let him continue the assault as he lay claim to everything that I was. Those fingers moved over my breasts, flicking at hardened peaks as he moved down past them to my waist, where his thumbs dipped in between the joined heat of our legs, and his fingers gripped my thighs tightly.

"Ali," he whispered, not tearing away completely as his breathed my name into me, and if that wasn't a turn-on, the gentle rubbing he had begun with his thumbs had me quaking against him. The only answer I gave him was a sigh of contentment, encouraging him to continue. "Ali, say yes again," this had my heart beating against my chest even though my body was demanding more attention from him. "Say yes to me."

"Yes," I whispered, though, I was pretty sure I hadn't actually annunciated it, more of moaned it against his soft lips as he waited, "always, Sam."

I don't remember how it happened next, but there was a whirlwind of emotions as his mouth lay siege once more and the cool breeze of the basement air tingled against the skin of my back. A needy tug against my hips made me realize that my jeans were pretty much disappearing and before I could breath into him once again, my backside was down against the cold laminate surface, and Sam's warmth was pressing in from in front of me.

I breathed in deep, not shocked because I knew him but deeply because I wanted the scent of him, the feel of everything he was at that very moment. Sin, and I had said it before, pure sin, even as he moved gently against me, filling me until I couldn't help the noises that escaped my lips. His mouth never left mine, the way that it moved against mine seemed to be a gentle contrast to what his body was doing, the deep thrusts of his hips met with soft brushes of his lips.

I could live with this feeling forever, every moment of every day, just like this, but I could feel the build up, the way that his body commanded mine, just as I controlled his and neither of us stood a chance of holding out, and I didn't want to. I longed for that release, the way that his body felt as it swelled, and was it ever. He was thicker this time, the angle hitting just right that I could feel the swell of every inch and as he pulled back, the length of him moved against that oh-so-sensitive spot inside, getting a gasp and sigh with every pass. My body started to shake, my legs locked tighter around him, my fingers dug into his skin and I heard him growl as his lips sucked on mine harshly.

He bit down on my bottom lip, as my body began to clench around him, sending wave after wave of heat humming through him and suddenly he let go, his lips parted as he quickly panted, then clenched his teeth. I had seen it so many times before, the way that his body reacted to the orgasm that ripped through him, but this time it sent me over the edge and I tilted my head back, exposing my neck to him.

I wanted it, needed it and Sam knew, he just knew what it was that would seal this deal forever. As he thrust forward, burying himself deep, his mouth clamped down on the soft spot on the slope of my neck, sucking as he did so, using just the right amount of teeth to get the noise from me that he needed to hear and when I gasped again, I felt his release shiver through him.

The pulsing of his sex within mine was enough to send shockwaves through me, as his hands gently cradled my back, fingers kneading against the skin, and as I rode the waves of my own release, I knew he had yet to back off from my neck, that in itself had me sliding up and over another time. When his teeth pulled away, when the suction on my skin lessened and I was able to breath again, I leaned my head forward, placing it against his shoulder as he pulled me upright, wrapping his arms around me tightly, his heart racing beneath my hand.

"I won't lose you again," he whispered softly, his voice firm, "not again."

"Sam," was the only thing I could manage to get out as I moved my arms, wrapping them around his neck once more as I placed my cheek against his shoulder. I had said yes… again, and he knew what I was doing! Why would he do that to himself? But there was no answers to my questioned because I refused to ask them, I didn't honestly want to know.

Taking a deep breath, letting my body come down from the high that his had created, Sam slowly backed away, tugging up the stray legs of my jeans and I smiled because I finally realized just how talented he was especially to get me that way without actually removing anything.

I laughed as he tried to tug them back on without me coming up from the counter, but was met with a kiss instead and one arm that wrapped around my waist, hoisting me up as he gave my jeans a small yank.

"Now, all I'm going to feel is wet," I teased as he lowered me back down in the same spot, but his brow went up when he gave me that slight knowing smile.

"Then you won't forget this… ever," he winked and kissed me softly before it faded and his lips parted, staring into me with those bright eyes. "I meant what I asked you, but you have to know one thing, Ali, whatever happens next, I will never take it back."

"I know," I sighed, brushing the stray hairs from his eyes to push them behind his ear with one hand as I gently traced his lower lip with my thumb, "neither will I. I never meant to hurt you before, and I want it just as much now, if not more than I did back then."

"I love you, Alison," he whispered, kissing me gently, "I always will."

I didn't need to reply, this wasn't one of those need to hear the words moments, he just needed to say them. I took a deep breath, let the scent of the man wrap around me and closed my eyes, praying that I would make it back in one piece this time. Hoping that the promise of forever might hold, but I knew what I had to do next, I could feel the ripples against my mind, the feeling of it crawling up my spine. But there was one more person I needed to see, so why, after all of this, would he be the hardest to step away from?

Sam knew what was going to happen next, so when I stopped at the top of the stairs, just as I reached for the handle, his hand came up to my wrist. Slowly I turned, catching his eyes once more as he stopped, standing on a step that brought us to equal height and I watched him stare at me, memorizing my features as he licked his lips.

"Promise me that you're coming back," he whispered, as he reached up and brushed my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Promise me you'll be right there to save my ass," I replied and watched him smile, his eyes going to my lips.

"Always," was his answer as he made eye contact again.

"Then we have an agreement," I winked as I opened the door and walked into the bar, with Sam right behind me. He kissed me on the temple, glanced over the room before giving me a nod and I watched him move back towards the bathroom.

I looked around the room, glanced at Christian, who seemed to be checking me over while leaning against the bar, yeah him and Sam weren't alike _at all_! Jo wiped down the counters, stocking everything for the two p.m. opening, and Danni racked up the balls for a quiet game of pool, her eyes resting on mine but then she switched and looked in Dean's direction. He was sitting at one of the tables, glass of whiskey in his hand as he stared down at the amber liquid.

I moved purposely through the room, grabbed the book from the table I had left it on and walked up to stand in front of him. Dean took a deep breath, which told me he at least saw my legs and that was his way of acknowledging that I was standing there waiting to annoy him, but as his eyes moved up to land on mine, I could see the emotions there.

Gently, I kicked his foot and gestured with just my head for him to follow me out the door. Without waiting for him to move, I moved away, the book pressed against my chest as I stepped out the swinging screen door. At the trunk of the Impala, I managed to find the page in the book that I wanted, and as quietly as possible, I ripped it out before closing the book once again. The back door was unlocked and I grabbed the first-in bag from the floor, made sure that my journal and the letter that I had let Sam read earlier was in it's rightful place and by the time I stood, closed the door behind me, Dean was walking towards me.

The look on his face moved between anger and confusion as he stood, not more than two feet from me, just out of my arms reach and he took a deep breath. I didn't want him to stay that way because I knew he wouldn't listen. When he got angry, when he didn't understand, he shut down. He didn't care what you had to say because he wasn't going to like the outcome, so he didn't bother listening.

I did the only thing I knew would confuse him more, and shake him enough so that he would open his stubborn mind to what I had to say. I closed that gap, grabbed ahold of his overshirt, and placed a hand on his cheek. There was a difference in height between me and Dean compared to the younger brother. Sure, Dean still towered over me but a good yank and standing on my tiptoes seemed to nullify that rather quickly.

Thrown off guard, Dean leaned down, his eyes locked on mine as his hands moved to my waist and he stared, pink lips parted, not sure of what was going on, at least not until I kissed him. Yep, total confusion achieved and I knew I had to stop doing that, stop using it as a way to get Dean to open up because it could just get dangerous. His eyes seemed to close, not sure when during the kiss, since it was light and quick but pressing nonetheless, and I felt him shiver under my fingers before I went back down to my flat feet.

His breath was choppy at best, not sure of which way to go with this and I watched as his tongue darted out to moisten the skin of his mouth, taking in the taste of that one simple gesture. I didn't let him go though, didn't release his shirt or his face and he slowly got what I wanted him to do. His arms came up to wrap around me and he brought me into an embrace that told me there was no way that anything could come between us, but the shaking of the rest of him told me he knew, just knew everything.

I pressed my lips against his cheek, feeling the stubble of three days worth of not shaving and though it wasn't thick, it still tickled. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing one against the back of his head, the other as tightly as I could manage before digging into his shoulder as he took in a deep breath.

"You smell like Sammy," he grinned, his cheeks rising as he said it and I blinked away the tears before they gave me away. "Ali, what are you doing?"

"Don't freak out," I managed to start, but that was when it came out like a wave of uncertainty, as if I wasn't sure that I was doing it right either. "Wait for Cas, Dean. Whatever happens next, please, please! Keep calm and wait for Cas, he'll explain everything."

I felt him pull away, bring his face just a few inches from mine as I stared up at him. I went to back away, to tell him something but he wouldn't let go, he knew that as soon as he did, the world would start to spiral, but I released one hand, ran it over his neck, down his chest, until I stopped, grabbed the folded page from my pocket and stuffed it in the front one of his, where he kept Baby's keys.

"Don't lose this," I smiled and watched as his brow creased and I cupped his cheek. "I swear I will see you again."

"No," he whispered and shook his head, but it was too late, I could feel her this time, feel the darkness in her manifest behind me. I turned just a bit in his arms, far enough so that I could see the creature coming up behind me and glancing back at Dean, I knew he saw her too.

She was a remnant of what she was before, a shadow of the tall, dark haired woman with the red ruby lips. This tulpa, this monster now stood before us, as I turned in his arms completely to face her. Her blue eyes didn't glow like an angel's now but bright red like a demon's and those lips pulled back to show me rows of sharp teeth. She growled low as she flickered in and out of existence, like the ghost of the brother we had to salt and burn, in fact, she seemed to mimic every monster we had seen this trip, all in a few paces.

"Dean," I swallowed, reaching back to take his hand, as my heart started to race. He gave my fingers a gentle squeeze, at least until it came closer. I struggled to get the spectrum from the sheath, but I could feel something at my back. Dean turned me around, looked down in my eyes as his fingers traced my cheek and he kissed me solidly on the forehead. I knew what he was doing, and I watched him take a deep breath.

"CAS!" He screamed and we heard the monster wail, scream, growl, it all sounded like the same thing, something dangerous, and I swung around in his arms.

"Get me out of here," I whispered, just as she closed the distance to swing out, but as I watched her claws come towards me, I felt the warmth of the angel's swings sweep around me, and at the same time, something slipped down through the belt at the back of my jeans.

The world seemed to fade this time, it wasn't a pop, not a quickly one minute you're here, the next you're not scenario. I watched as Dean flickered and disappeared, the four on the porch did the same but it was the tulpa, the way she shimmered and disappeared that let me release a breath and the parking lot of the bar disappeared, only to be replaced by the rest stop's grassy knoll, two hours south of Summerford.

I slumped back against the picnic table as Cas finally finished the flight and his hands clasped around my ribs, steadying me until the disorientation passed.

"I trust you were able to get everything you needed." He said softly as he put his hand on my neck and tilted my head up, checking the response in my vision as if he expected the ride to do something funky to me. I reached behind me and gasped the handle of the demon blade that Dean had slipped there. With a deep breath, I pulled it out and showed it to him. "Two hours, Ali, that's all we have time for. If he's not here by then…"

"Dean will be here, Cas, he's waiting on you, just like we planned." I sighed and watched as his eyes left mine, looked around the small, unassuming rest area and shook his head.

"I don't like leaving you unprotected," and that made me smile because he knew full well that I wasn't. "I'm not sure how long it will take me to convince him to move, but I will be back as soon as he is."

"I'll be safe, Cas, I promise. There's a reason for this place, you know." I smiled and looked over towards the building. The angel followed my lead and looked at the small three-room building. Two of those rooms were bathrooms and the other one was the office/welcome center but I watched the way his eyes narrowed. "It's warded, Cas, it's a hunter's rest stop, completely covered in protection from every known religion and culture."

"How did you find it?" His voice was full of wonder, like he had never seen it before, of course it was protected from angels, so I never thought that he would truly know if it's existence.

"Jones," I shrugged and watched as he rolled his eyes, that snarky look written right across his face as if to say _of course_ but nothing left his lips. I placed my hand on his solid bicep and gave it a squeeze. "Cas, I know you don't want to go, but for this to work..."

"Yes, I know, we need Dean." he growled, like it was the worst idea in the world, but he got it, and I let out a breath. "Go inside, I'll be back as soon as I get the stubborn fool to agree."

"My money's on him sitting in the car waiting on you to tell him where to go." I smiled.

"If I had the need for money, I'd raise your bet that Sam's got him locked in the Roadhouse trying to keep him calm." Cas shook his head, "you don't know that Winchester like I do."

"I think I know him a lot better than you think," I grinned and watched as Cas seemed to huff, his lips parted as he shook his head and quickly kissed me before disappearing in a flutter of wings. I picked the bag up off the ground, not even sure how the hell Cas managed to grab it, but with a smile on my face, I headed toward the "closed for renovations" building, and pushed the lock code on the back panel. Licking my lips, I stared at the door and whispered: "Sicut enim mihi apertum."

The door popped and I glanced around one more time before I stepped into the chilly darkness, pulling the panel closed tightly behind me.

I paced nervously, twenty minutes had passed and no sign of Cas. Thirty and nothing. Thank God for a coffee maker and cream that wasn't expired, the only thing that would have been better was a nice juicy cheeseburger, but then again, that made me think of Dean and just how much I owed the angel because obviously it took a lot more convincing to get the boy to move than I thought it would.

Even in the building, with the warding up and the way the energy flowed, trying to keep things calm, I could feel the burn of the small pebble in my hand and found myself pressing against it without really thinking of it, which only made me think of Sam's scar in the show, the one that he used to banish Lucifer from his thoughts when times got tough after his soul returned.

I wondered if that was what I was, some soulless creature that had given over to the dark side, but when I thought that way, the only thing I could come up with was hell no, because someone without a soul wouldn't worry if they didn't have one… would they?

I remembered the ritual, collecting the pebble from the crossroads, slicing my hand with the demon blade after making sure that the small stone could carry the energy that I needed and I pressed just a little harder on the nub beneath my skin.

What I needed was a distraction. Yep, a distraction, but what kind and how far did I take it. With a deep breath, I reached into my bag and pulled out my journal. Flipping through it, nothing seemed to catch my attention. I knew this story, hell I wrote it, so there was nothing for me there, nothing of import, nothing that I didn't know, at least I thought.

The last page, the very last written page wasn't in my hand, it was in Sam's barely legible research scratch and I shook my head. At the same time that I thought about slapping him for going in my personal journal, I found myself engrossed in the writing there, the way the muse had taken him over as he laid out just what the hell had happened to his father, according to the memories the angels had given him.

The warehouse was the same, but Danni and I weren't in the picture, only Sam and Dean, well at that point only Sam. _HE_ had found his way to through the tunnels from Jordan Springs, _HE_ was the one that rushed in on the fight that ensued with the demons but there were no blades, no _God Killers_ because in this memory they didn't exist, because we didn't. _HE_ was the one that faced John, but it wasn't the man I saw, the one that pleaded with me that he was tired, that he wanted to sleep. No, this one was angry, violent and wanted Sam dead.

John brought up every painful memory, ever wrong that Sam had done, bringing the anger in the boy's blood to a boil, and when he was ready to blow, John brought up the demon blood that ran through his system. He blamed Sam for what happened to Dean, the abuse at his own hands, that if Sam never ran away, he wouldn't have had to _teach_ Dean how to be rough, or hard. It was Sam's fault that Dean never went to Yale, that he didn't get out, and Sam believed him.

John, the demon, showed Sam every face of every person he had ever hurt, every monster that he had ever put down and then he showed him the one thing that Sam would never have.

 _He showed me you, Ali, the woman that had haunted my dreams for months now, the one that I had been drawing. He teased me with you, giving me images of the vampires that killed you, of your body broken in your bed because I had been too late. And he smiled… he smiled only like a demon could and when he sat there smiling, he showed me something else. You with Dean, in the warehouse where we fought Zane. I didn't know that then, that we had taken on that power, I just knew that you were a demon and you had my brother locked down._

 _It wasn't that I didn't trust you when you came into my life this time, Ali, it was that the memories were too much, at least the ones I had. In my head, you were dead, I hadn't been able to save you, but Dad didn't seem to know the other part of the dream. Whatever the angels did, they must have been going on what we had said to each other, what you knew, because from that night in April, from the moment you_ died _in my dream, you were alive in my fantasies. I saw you everywhere, I knew you the moment you stepped into the room but I didn't want to believe it, I didn't want to have that hope, because there was one thing that Dad said that kept me from it._

 _I had lost the love of my life that night, the one soul that could keep me whole, but here you are, and as pissed as I want to be because I had to put him down, I can't. Ali, it wasn't a pretty fight, he was broken and bleeding and I drove that knife straight through his neck. I can't be mad at you because I never was._

 _It took me a while to realize this, and right now you are sleeping and I know what's coming next, I know about you and Dean, but know, please know, I'm not mad. I would have done the same thing, hell Danni and Dean would have done it too, but it fell on your shoulders and you did the best you could._

 _I'm not saying this because I know what comes next. I'm writing this because I need you to know. I need you to know that I love you, I always have, from the moment we met, I love you._

I put the book down, took a deep breath and wiped my hands across my face. Words on paper would never explain the brutality of those images, but it hit home because of what I had been shown by John… no, by Asmodeus. I knew one thing, as the moments ticked by. This needed to be done, and it needed to be done now.

Just as I placed my head back against the wall one last time, I heard the rumble of a familiar engine as it pulled into the parking spaces outside. Guess the Winchester had the same idea as I did.

I stood, wiped my eyes once more and moved towards the door, opening it just as Dean stood up from the car, the angel in the seat beside him and I couldn't stop the smile.


	104. DH Remembrance - 38

**Chapter 38**

Ramblers in the Wilderness

The seconds didn't tick by, there was no slow motion running scene, there was Dean's arms around me, his fingers in my hair, his lips on my head and his heartbeat against mine. His chest rose and fell in time with the chaotic but apparently necessary need to check me over for damage before his palms rested against my cheeks and I found myself staring up into his green eyes, as his lips rose with a smile.

"What the hell were you thinking?" But there was no anger there, or it was masked by the other emotions that colored his skin as he pushed back my hair from my forehead.

"Same thing as always, gunfights and blaze of glory," I whispered and watched him lick his lips.

"Sammy's gonna kill you," he whispered as his thumb ran over my bottom lip, before he pulled me to him once again, my cheek pressed against his heart.

"Yeah, well, Sam knows this was going to go down, to an extent." I replied and felt him step back. When his hands slipped to my waist, I glanced at Cas, then up at the older Winchester. "He knew something was going to happen, just not so soon. Hell, I didn't even expect it so soon."

"So, the tulpa?" was his only questioned, but I shook my head. Her arriving at that precise moment just added to the fact that we needed to move this along, but I just released him and pressed my thumb to the heated ball in my hand, feeling the ache of it under my skin.

"I suggest we move this inside," Cas stated, which got both of us to give him a look, watching him as he looked around, eyes narrowed with a look of uncertainty on his face.

"Something in the air, Cas?" I questioned, his gaze quickly settling on mine.

"Yes, something very, very powerful."

"Let me guess," Dean sighed, "it's headed this way?"

"Unfortunately." I watched him take a breath before I nodded.

"Okay, follow me." I sighed, Dean snatched up my hand, as if I might disappear again and I couldn't help the grin that stretched across my face. Dean Winchester, ever the overbearing son of a bitch.

After a few simple words, spoken in some very broken Hebrew, which I pretty much slaughtered with enunciation, Cas was able to enter the small safehouse with little to no side effects. (I had to try twice to get it right and the first time reaching over the barrier he burnt his fingers). Dean dropped the bag he had taken out of the car and Cas looked around, checking out every warding sigil on the wall.

"Well, this is definitely a five-star establishment, Porter, where did you find this again?" Dean grinned as I punched him on the arm. I could feel his eyes on me as I moved towards the back of the room and tapped on the wall a little before the panel pushed open and it revealed a small bedroom, the other side of the room was a fully stocked kitchen. I watched as his teasing smile turned to a full grin. "I take that back, I think you picked a great spot."

"We're not staying long, Dean," I laughed and shrugged. "Just long enough for Danni and Sam to not be able to follow the car or the phones. We need to throw them off a little. The rest area itself is pretty remote."

"You honestly think Sammy wouldn't think of heading this way?" He stepped into the bedroom where I was standing and looked me over as I emptied the first-in bag and the small duffel he had brought in for me on the bed.

"Did you?" I looked up at him out of the corner of my eye as I tossed a bra on the bed and listened to him huff. Before I knew what was happening, I was turned to face him and his arms were around me. Looking up at him, I watched that evil Dean grin cross his face. "What are you doing?" But, I already regretted asking, "Never mind, whatever you think you're going to do, rethink it Winchester."

"Sammy said to send you a kiss," he whispered and I watched all the joking fade from his face as his hand came up and touched my skin gently, but as I was preparing for the worst possible scenario, he pulled me closer and kissed me solidly on the cheek before holding me closer and I felt his breath against my ear. "You said to stop, so I'm stopping, Sam's request or not, I'll wait on you to do it again."

"Is this one of our little things now?" I smiled as I wrapped around him and Dean laughed.

"No, it's just following your lead." He shrugged and turned so that he sat on the bed, pulling me down to straddle his lap, which let me hold onto him tighter. "I'm not going to hurt you with this, and I'm going to make damn sure not to hurt Danni, so we're going to work on it, okay, work on us."

"First thing we have to work on," I whispered, placing my hands against his chest as I pushed back and looked down between us, "is probably not sitting like this."

"Yeah," he said as he suddenly cleared his throat and let me go, watching me slide off his lap as I moved back to the bag I was repacking. "So, what are you looking for?"

"My Gram's grimoire." I mumbled.

"You know it's not going to fit in that bag right?" He stated sarcastically and I stopped looking, looked up at that wall and turned throwing a rolled up pair of socks at him, or at least I thought they were socks until he held up a pair of barely-there panties. Quickly I snatched them away as he smiled widely. "Why would you be looking for it in there?"

"It has a locator spell on it," I mumbled as I continued to look through the bag, "the problem is, I wrote it on a paper the size of a business card and tossed it in here."

"Smooth move." he winked.

"Shut up," I growled and shook my head, mumbled: "dick," under my breath and watched as he smiled out of the corner of my eye. He leaned back on the bed and pulled the folded letter from his pocket, holding it between two fingers, he reached out and handed it to me. I bit down on my lip before taking a breath and locking my eyes on his. "Thank you."

"So, this place," Dean started, ignoring the way I slipped the paper into my back pocket before I moved to pack the bags back up again, and his eyes scanned the room, "kind of like Dad's cabin in Winchester, keeps out all the baddies?"

"Maybe," I shrugged, "I mean we did have to let Cas in, so maybe it is kind of like that, yeah."

"What do you think happened to the book?" I knew he was trying to make conversation because of something else that was on his mind but I wasn't going to pry, figured he would ask when he was ready.

"Honestly," I took a breath and clenched my teeth, "I think Sam gave it to Crowley."

Dean stood, towering over me as if it mattered and in my peripheral I saw his hands clench. "What? Why the hell would Sam do that?"

"Why do we do anything, Dean?" I questioned, but it was a flat response before I zippered the bag and turned to him. "We have all done something stupid and reckless to keep the four of us together, hell you and I have done it more times than the others, so why not let Sam have his turn. It doesn't matter anyway, I memorized it."

"Wait, you memorized your gram's grimoire? When? How?" he sounded shocked that I could do that but hey, writer, I remember every story I had ever written, what's another book on the pile. Cas came into the room, leaning against the door with his hands in his jean pockets. "Ali, that kind of book isn't the best thing to have sitting in Crowley's chubby little fingers."

"I get that, but what can I do?" I stared up at him and shook my head. "Sam is going to do what he feels right to help us out, to help figure out this whole curse/spell thing we have on us, no matter what Cas says about it being permanent. So, like you said, angel or demon, it doesn't matter, if it's going to go south, and it probably will, it will go that way whether we do something about it or not."

I stood and went to walk by, taking lead out of the room before Dean turned and looked at me. "And the memorizing?"

"The night that Cas decided a porno was a good form of entertainment," I smiled and watched the angel blush. "Couldn't concentrate on a single spell, so I just memorized all of them."

"We never did finish that conversation," Cas grinned as his hand came up across my stomach to my hip and I looked up at him as he teased.

"Okay, so what? You got bored with the book so you decided to jump on Cas?" Ooh, you had to love the little jealous streak the Winchester had in him but I shook my head. "And can we not talk about how he got up when the two of you were together?"

"I memorized the book, Dean," I replied and turned to lean back against Cas, whose arm just snaked tighter, "I didn't jump on Cas."

"You didn't stop looking though," he growled and moved past us to the main room of the house. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Why the hell did that bother him so much?

"Okay, look, let's just jump off this topic," and that got me a roll of his eyes, "We'll just slip onto a new one," that time a growl, "I mean, we're all grown-ups here, it's not like we can't just put our heads together and come up with something a little more satisfying."

"Alright! Enough!" he snapped but I couldn't help the smile on my face. Dean looked between the two of us and shook his head. It took him a few minutes to get his thoughts on straight before he shook it off and headed towards the kitchen.

I slipped away from Cas, winked at the angel and headed towards the bathroom, just as the pain in my hand began to intensify. It had been growing more unbearable as I searched through the bag, but when Dean pulled away, the moment he stepped away and headed into the other room, the fire beneath my skin flared.

"Calm down," I whispered, as I tried running it under the cold water in the bathroom, but that did nothing but make my muscles tighten up around it. "Okay, okay," I whispered and pressed into it with my thumb, "we're going to have to get you out soon." I drew in a deep breath and stared at myself in the mirror. "Great, I'm talking to a stone in my hand."

I walked out quietly, watched Dean in the kitchen for a little bit. The way he smiled as he made his way through a peanut butter and jelly sandwich was just a little side of Dean that you rarely saw, like a kid in a candy store… or hell, just him being a kid. He even offered one to Cas, who politely refused before making a face as the older Winchester shrugged and went back to his "craft".

It was as this whole little scene was taking place that the burning in my hand became too much. I bit my lip, held my tongue and pressed solidly on the spot where the ball had heated up in the muscles that surrounded it. I breathed through the pain as Cas narrowed his eyes at me, but I gave him a wink and walked back to the room, grabbing the small travel kit with the tweezers in it, stopping only in the bathroom to grab a handful of paper towels, before I scooted out the backdoor, keeping an eye on the two who were now laughing at some joke that Dean had made.

The pain was flaring up my shoulder, racing towards my heart as sweat seemed to pour down my face, I couldn't wipe my eyes enough to keep from having to blink through it, and the weather outside had nothing to do with the way my body felt. Picking a spot far enough away from the building, under a pine tree, I glanced around at the wards, making sure that everything was in place because if they weren't, this power could send out a beacon that drew every supernatural creature in a twenty mile radius right on our heads.

I set things out, peroxide, bandages, the paper towels and the kit, but when I slipped the demon blade out from my belt, the shock that went through me was almost enough to put me down.

"Jesus, okay, I'm working on it," I grumbled out loud, like the thing in my hand was paying any kind of attention. My hands began to shake as I slipped the paper out of my pocket and set it on the ground before me. Reading over the instructions, because, yeah leave it to John to get me a way out, I could only shake my head. "Oh, this is gonna hurt."

I held out my right hand, took a look around the empty field and then held my left hand over the top of it. Inhaling and exhaling to get a flow, to relax enough to let everything out, I swallowed hard and closed my eyes.

"Portionis meæ, relinquo vobis vinculum a me," _I release your bond from me,_ I whispered, feeling the pain nip at the artery in my neck and I stifled a moan as I continued, the pain flashing over Sam's mark, tingling on the bruise there. _As I wish it, I set you free._ "Ut volo, me liberabit vos."

There was a roar in the wind, like a demon had been released somewhere in the world and it's freedom cry echoed over the land. My body stiffened, every muscle in it going tight as I clenched my teeth and grabbed the demon blade. My hands, at best, were shaky, but still stable enough to bring that point down along the same line I had cut into the flesh before.

Not closing my eyes this time, not wanting to mess up, go too deep or not deep enough, I watched it slice down into the skin.

"Son of a Bitch!" I growled and let the blade slide down.

You wouldn't think butter when you thought of how a knife cut through muscle, but that was it, that was exactly how this one worked, it just slipped in, but the pain was excruciating and I found myself gasping for breath. The blood began to flow, cascading over my hand and I tried to wipe it away but balancing a knife on your chin as you dabbed at the wound it was lodged in did nothing for the pain.

An inch slice, right down to where it nicked the pebble was just about all I could take and I dropped the blade beside me, grabbing a towel to put pressure on the wound. That was when I heard it, the slamming of the door to the shack and as my vision faded in and out, the rush of pain now replaced by a rush of power, I swayed back as I looked up at the two figures that moved towards me.

Arms were around me from behind, one wrapping around my waist to pull me back against him as the other reached forward, pressing down on the seeping wound. I could feel Dean, the way his body seemed to vibrate but it was Castiel, as he knelt before me, that I had to close my eyes to. He was a blinding blue light, just like his eyes when he went all authoritative angel.

"Cas," I whispered, trying to catch my breath as my free hand, just as bloody as the one with the open slice gripped Dean's lower arm. "Dial it down, man, you left your billion watt bulb on."

"What the hell is going through your head?" Dean growled from behind.

"You shouldn't have done this alone." Cas added, his own voice deep with pissed off vibes.

"There's a lot of things I shouldn't do," I smiled, but I could almost feel the fight fading from me, until that rush of power, combined with a thousand milliamps from the world's largest stun gun, shook my body into convulsions, but I waited for it to pass, before I let go of Dean and grabbed Cas by the shirt. "Grab the tweezers, you need to get it out."

"Ali," he said, his eyes going to the mess by my legs, "this is completely unsanitary."

"Cas, get the Goddamned pebble out of my fucking hand!" I snapped and watched his eyes flash towards Dean's before he slid the small stainless steel grooming tool from the pack. Placing my hand on his lap, he held it firmly in place as he separated the skin so that he could have a better view. "Do it, Cas, please."

"While this makes me very uncomfortable…" he started but I tried my best to sneer at him, and he shut up.

I watched the end of it slide down between the fold and as the cold metal turned blazing hot, I started to see darkness, with familiar white spots. I hoped for unconsciousness as he dug around trying to find the small pebble, one that I had stuffed in there with the end of a Q-tip, and I could feel myself slipping.

"Easy, baby," Dean whispered to me, his breath close to my ear as he brushed back my hair. "Stay with me, Kid, he's almost done."

"Dean," I managed to breath out between my jaw clenching in pain, "how many times have I told you not to call me baby? I'm not… your damned car!"

"I could call you honey-pie, would that work?" He joked.

"Only if you want my elbow in your sack." I said dryly and felt him laugh as his lips grazed my face, because we all know that kisses fix everything. At least until the angel who is doing minor surgery finds the damn stone and rips a scream from the bottom of your lungs. Okay it wasn't a scream, but it could have been.

"Hey, hey, Ali, come on, sweetheart," Dean's voice was frantic and I could only imagine what the scene looked like as Cas held my bleeding hand and dug, but soon, I felt that metal move and with it came some relief. I let my body relax, leaning back against Dean's strong chest as I did so and listened to the strained words of encouragement, until he came out with, "Christ, Ali, all this drama for that?"

Jesus, you had to love that man.

"Now the issue is how to heal it," Cas sighed, "it's too deep for stitches, you would have to do at least some internal and we don't have that equipment."

"You're an angel, for Pete's sake, Cas, just heal her." Dean griped.

"He can't," I whispered, letting my cheek rest against him, "it's a spell from a demon, remember, there isn't much he can do about it without the God…"

"Those freaking blades!" Dean snapped, but then he stopped. "Ali, heal yourself," he pleaded softly and this got my eyes to at least flutter open as I stared at Cas, the angel not giving me any sign that he might actually agree with the man behind me. "I know you think it's gone, but I know you, you're just as stubborn as the rest of us, so if the magic is still there, you can heal that."

"I don't know, Dean," yeah it might have sounded a little whiny but I was tired, and bleeding and I just wanted to sleep.

"Hey," his breath brushed my ear, "I have faith in you, I'll even hold your hand."

"Asshole, you are holding my hand," I groaned and tried to sit up a bit, but I could feel him boost me up, still pressed against my lap as he held me tight. "I might have to draw on you."

"So, what, you're going to suck the magic from me?" Dean grinned against me, wide enough that I could feel his cheeks rising, "you know, I'm probably the least magical creature you'll ever come across."

"As soon as you became part of the supernatural world, Dean, you became magic." I whispered, turning my head to look at him the best I could, "didn't you know that?"

"What, the knowing about what goes bump in the night makes you the same thing? No, I'll pass on that knowledge," he sighed as he turned away, but leaned into kiss his cheek, let my lips brush the stubble there.

"It doesn't make you one of them, it just gives you the magic to see them, to fight them. There are always sides, two, three sides at most. Good and evil, they all have their magic, and then there's that spot right in the middle, that gray area, that is the hunters, those who chose the path they're on."

"I didn't choose it," his voice was deep with anger and I know what he was thinking.

"It chose you, Dean," Cas added, and I turned to face the angel, who was still putting pressure on the wound. "It needed a warrior like you, like Sam, someone to fight, to find the good and bad in everything, so it chose you, like it did with Ali, and Danni."

"Next thing you're going to tell me is that it was Heaven's choice," he also turned his sights on Cas, "well you know I never wanted that part of my life. Heaven and Hell dicking around with my future."

"Heaven didn't make it either, Dean, they saw an opportunity and they took it," Cas shrugged.

"So, like I've been saying douchebags with wings," And I smiled as this because Cas' clamped his jaw shut and shook his head. "Except you," which got the blue-eyed man to stare at his friend. "Probably the only set of wings that isn't a douche."

"Okay, enough of the tender-loving bromance," I smiled, and felt Dean shift behind me. "The power I need, Dean, it might hurt."

"I can take it, Kid," he sighed, pressing his cheek against mine again. "Do whatcha gotta."

Taking a deep breath, I raised my left hand over my right and watched as Cas moved the towel. Instantly the blood began to run once more. I swallowed hard, trying to keep focused as I concentrated on the wound.

"Rentem, fuere, obligatione tenentur claude vulnere curaret tempore," I whispered, they were just words, just things that popped into my head. _knit, stitch, bound and bind, close this wound, heal in time._ A stupid little set of words that seemed to do nothing at first, but as I continued to repeat them, I could feel the flesh inside start to move. "Oh, God."

"What?" Dean questioned, worry filling his voice as I moved my left hand and gripped his thigh. That was when the magic started to flow, when I could feel the pull from him, a white light that seeped in under my fingers. "Holy crap, what is that?"

"A transfer of magic," Cas whispered, and he seemed to be in awe of whatever he was watching, which was something I wasn't seeing because I had my eyes tightly shut. I took a deep breath as the fire burned through my hand and the cool light of Dean moved up from my fingers to my arm. "What does it feel like?"

"Sex," he groaned, and I mean literally made a sound like he was about to explode. "The best sex ever."

"Stop," I laughed as he got closer and moaned in my ear, making me shiver, but it took my thoughts from the pain of the sealing wound. Just as the last piece of skin seemed to slip shut, and the pain disappeared, I slowly uncurled my fingers from his leg, but his hand came down to stop me from moving it, which I smiled at. "It's done, Dean, I'm not drawing off you anymore."

"It maybe, but I'm not," his voice was almost inaudible as his forehead rested on my shoulder and his fingers dug into my hip as he held me there.

"Don't do THAT on my back," I closed my eyes as Cas just looked at me questioningly.

"I'll leave you two be," he whispered and was suddenly gone.

Dean laughed as he picked his head up and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"That was mean," I smiled and felt him shrug.

"I was just getting him back for the porno talk." I heard the smug laugh in his voice as he let go of my hand and moved his fingers over my arm, pulling me back against him as he leaned on the tree. "Why didn't you tell me about the stone? About the spell? You could have died."

"Do you know how many times I asked you to do just that?" I sighed, and ran my fingers over the fine hair on his arm, as I rested my head back on his chest. "It was just supposed to dilute the powers enough so that the blade cut me, and then I was supposed to take it out, face what was inside of me."

"The edge of a blade? Cause that's what was sticking out of you," he growled and I found myself taking a deep breath. "You know, I get it, though I probably should just haul off and let you have a good tongue-lashing, but I get that you wanted to save us, Al, I just wish you would have done it a little bit differently."

"By telling you everything, right?" I smiled. "And exactly what kind of tongue-lashing are you getting at, and would I actually enjoy it."

He reached over and moved my hair from my neck, exposing one side of it as his lips brushed the skin there. Contact, I thought to myself, he just needs the contact. Which was great because I could use the stability of it, but his soft little gestures, the way his lips felt, the constant brush of his skin on mine was pulling at me and I let a breath out slowly.

"I could have taken it, you know," his voice was deep, the way it got when he was trying to make a point, trying to not give into petty feelings, but he was ignoring my tongue-lashing comment.

"You would have just kept saying no, would have found another way, or tried." I moved in his arms, turning so that I was kneeling in front of him and his hands dropped to my hips, holding me fast as I reached out and placed my fingers on his neck, my thumbs brushing the underside of his jaw. "Dean," his name alone brought those green eyes to mine, "please don't ever think it was because I didn't trust you, because I did, with my life, but I thought I was keeping you safe, you, Sam and Danni. I thought it was the only way."

"You never found out if there was another, because you didn't ask for help." That tone was nothing but scolding and I placed my forehead against his.

"I'm asking now," I admitted, "I can't do this alone, it's why I sent Cas straight to you this time. Sam knew, he knew all along that it had to be you, which is why he even let me go, but that doesn't mean he's going to let it be. Hell, him and Danni are probably on their way to Winchester right now."

"So what do you need me to do?"

"I don't know yet," I shrugged and sat back on my heels, taking my touch away from his as I caressed his skin with the pads of my fingers. His eyes scanned the area, his body alert for anything supernatural but what he found was nothing but the tether between the two of us. I watched the confusion fill his eyes as he realized what I already knew. "We can break it still, if you want."

"Break the tether?" he snorted, lightly, and shook his head. "It's been months, there's nothing left of the twine and I'm sure that Danni had pretty much covered every book in the world to find something to snap that little spell in half."

"Then we keep it, but it's not going to be easy," my hands dropped away from his face. "It's going to tie us together worse than the bond, so what do we do with Sam and Danni?"

"Same as we always have," he whispered, reached up and touched my cheek with two of his fingers, just lightly enough so that I felt him before he gave me a slight smile. "Love them, keep them close, give them everything we can, and when we need each other, we pray they understand."

I licked my lips, knowing he was right, but there was just something under the surface that kept me from admitting how hard that would be. I cleared my throat, giving the field the once over before my eyes settled back on him. "We should get going."

"We should be doing a lot of things." He winked and I pushed myself up to stand before I reached down and took his hand. The two of us walked in silence until just before the door when he glanced down at me. "Have you done that transfer of power before?"

"Not with anyone willing, I mean I kind of kicked Cas in the nads with it once, used it to get away from Zane a few times but no, I've never used it before like that." The grin that grew on his face should have given me warning not to ask stupid questions, but it just slipped out. "Why?"

"I'd like to try it again sometime," he winked. "It's like the most intense orgasm without the mess, I wonder how long it would last."

"Ain't happening, pal." I laughed as I dropped his hand and moved towards the door, leaving him standing.

I heard it before I saw it, the way the rumble started and as the sky just above the small building began to darken, I turned and looked at Dean, at the way his eyes narrowed, as his brow furrowed when he turned and watched the billowing black clouds begin to block out the sun, rolling in like a white cap in the ocean and I watched him reach back an arm, fingers stretched wide, waiting for my hand, and I gave it willingly as I closed my own around him. Dean pulled me close as he glanced back and the door opened.

Cas shook his head and his eyes locked on mine. "You need to go, you and Dean need to get back on the road, the tulpa is becoming more powerful. _This_ is her and she's reaching for you." Cas stepped out and put his hands on my shoulders, Dean pressing closer so that his arm touched the length of me. "Ali, please, don't worry about me, and don't tell me you're not because I can see it in your eyes." His eyes went to the man beside me. At the same eye level, there was nothing but silent communication between the two six-foot men and I rolled my eyes as both nodded and Dean started to tug on my hand, bringing me towards the Impala. I whipped around and looked at Cas once more. "Yes, you're bags are in the car."

"Christ!" I whispered, knowing just what this meant. "Cas!"

"No, go, I promise I will be right behind you." He said softly as he took a deep breath. Dean stopped this time, looking at the man over his shoulder and I watched the concern cross the Winchester's face.

"You better be, or I'm going to come looking for you." Dean threatened and I watched the corner of Cas' lips curl up in a knowing smile.

"Of that I have no doubt, brother." The angel replied and with that Dean gave me one last tug as we both rounded the building and ducked into the waiting car.

Dean slipped in the keys and cranked it over, letting the engine roar to life. I fastened the lap belt across me, tugged on it tightly as he backed out, threw it in drive and ripped out of the parking lot, letting the back end fishtail as we raced away from the growing darkness that seemed to engulf the station and just before it disappeared from sight, I watched the flash of bright blue. When it died down, the building was gone and only an open field remained. We had crossed the ward line and the building sheltered itself for the next hunter looking for sanctuary.


	105. DH Remembrance - 39

**Chapter 39**

A Shot in the Dark

Night seemed to have been perpetually falling whenever these stupid powers were out and about. I don't think I remember many times during that week in June when I literally saw the light of day. It was always dark, twilight, middle of the night black and even now, as we drove along, there was nothing but moonlight-blocking darkness, like a new moon had fallen on us. The stars were gone, at least from what I could see beyond the trees that seemed to line _every_ road Dean turned down.

According to the signs that I was able to catch when I happened to glanced down from the treetops, we had been somewhere in the area of Portsmouth, Ohio, or at least somewhere near there with the rest stop, but now we were almost nine hours out from Winchester, taking the backroads like Dean loved to do, following along Route 50.

We were more than four hours into this haul when I was shaken from my little non-stargazing as the car swerved quickly then straightened. I quickly turned in the seat and looked at Dean. His arm was out on the wheel, but even though his eyes were straight as an arrow, they also seemed to fade as his head slowly dipped forward and the car yanked again.

Reaching out a leg, I kicked at his thigh with my socked foot, shaking him from whatever daze he was in as he looked at me in anger.

"Dude!" I broke out the irritation, "what the hell, keep her on the road or pull off!"

"What? I'm wide freaking awake, Ali, what's your issue?" Dean growled and this made me shake my head, and I chanced unbuckling as his eyes got wide. "What are you doing?"

Sliding over, I pressed my chest against his side and my lips against his cheek before I clenched my teeth. "You're exhausted, Winchester, so pull the freaking car over or let me drive."

"There is no way in hell you are driving my car!" he snapped but I felt the car slow, and suddenly we were finding our way off the road and into a small turn-around where he threw it in park and before he could unbuckle, I slid over so that I locked him down in the seat, my knees on either side of his hips, but his eyes closed and he put his head back as his hands came down to my thighs. His voice was light and airy as he spoke, which told me he was definitely tired. "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting out to put some wards up," I smiled and put my hands on the backrest on either side of his head, his eyes half-laden with sleep already as he tried to stare me down.

"No, what I meant was, why are you sitting on my lap?" He wanted to growl, wanted it to be forceful, or sexy or something that I just smiled at, but it wasn't… it was a tired man's voice and all I could do was stare at the bags under his eyes and worry on his brow before I reached up to smooth it away with a touch, one that instantly got him to close those green eyes.

"I have to get out of the car, Dean, and you parked as close to a tree on my side as humanly possible, so I need to get out somehow," I whispered, but I had closed the distance, nearly brushing his lips with mine, but it wasn't to kiss him, it was to judge his reaction and just as I thought, the response from him was a resounding _hmm_ as his lips went just a little slack and he drifted into a light sleep.

Yep, such a badass man!

I slipped out of the car, taking the keys out of the ignition and slipping them on a spot where I knew he would find them without issue, but I didn't want to leave them stuck there. I managed to grab the first-in bag from the trunk, took the Walther and slipped it in the back of my jeans, and then grabbed the small Sage smudge that I kept in there and the Spectrum blade.

I think it was time to make this car disappear.

The wards could be simple or complex, depending on your skill level and the amount of magic you put behind them. Apparently, it helped to have a little bit of extra higher/lower power help because as I set them, as I cast the sigils in the dirt and said the words, I felt the power radiate from me and smiled as the shimmer seemed to distort the world around us. I would be able to find him but right now, this entire turnaround didn't exist to the outside.

It was then that I felt it, like a pull at my darkness, something inside me just made me jump. If it could explain it, I would say it was like a tickle under the skin, something that wanted to crawl out of my skin but that was before I could pinpoint it, and once I did, that annoying pull turned into a come-hither feeling that made me gave just a little smirk before I stepped into the woods just past the tailgate of the car.

Glancing inside before I really disappeared, I saw Dean turned to lean on the door and his feet up as much as he could on Baby's front seat, his arms crossed over his chest as his lips lay parted. I couldn't help but smile at him. The only time I had ever truly seen peace in that man's eyes was on the road surrounded by us, with the wheels twirling under him, the smell of the road and the sound of the engine giving him a rhythm that his body vibrated on.

I just wanted to stand there and memorize the serenity on his face forever, but I knew that I needed to follow my gut, and taking a deep breath, I turned and walked away from the car, deeper into the thick canvas of trees.

Ever been to Narnia? Hmm, me either, but I would suspect that this was what it felt like. The trees only got thicker, the underbrush higher and I was tempted to take out the spectrum and start swinging to get through but just as it got to the point where I could barely make headway, it thinned and I could hear water running.

The embankment wasn't at all steep and the clearing at the bottom was a natural spot washed away from when the small creek rose during the winter, taking everything with it when the waters rushed by, everything but the large rocks and that was where I found him. The head of black hair blended in with the black wool coat, and I shook my head as I approached, stuffing my hands into my pockets.

"Are you following me?" I asked with snark as I grabbed the rock close enough to him that looked comfortable enough to sit on.

"You use your powers so flippantly, it's hard not to follow you," he said with that drawal that almost made me question if he was actually scolding me or just voicing his opinion. "Are you trying to attract all manner of monsters?"

"Is that what this does, act like a beacon?" I questioned and watched him finally turn to look at me. He eyed me over, gave a frown that told me something along the lines of _what do I know_ , and then went back to the water. "So, if you don't know, or care, what are you doing here?"

"You removed the stone." Crowley stated, sitting up straighter and I smiled at this because I was waiting for him to tell me something, anything that I didn't know. "Please tell me that's not your game plan for fighting this thing?"

"What removing the annoying little piece of the planet that was stuck in my hand, that literally felt like it was burning me from the inside out?" His eyes focused on mine as I raised a brow. This was the oddest interaction he and I had ever had and I had no idea why. "No, it had nothing to do with the tulpa or whatever the hell she is."

"You just wanted the power," he blinked, and when I say blinked, it was like a long, drawn out, full of lust at the thought of the feeling of it kind of blink… totally weird. "Now you're starting to act like a Winchester, Love, or more of a Porter on that point."

"I am a Porter, jackass!" I snarked and watched that corner of his lip push up the bushy cheeks making his eyes narrow.

"Yes, but you are so much more," was his reply and oh how I hated a cryptic Crowley. "There's a trick to defeating a tulpa that isn't just burning the place to the ground like a Winchester would," he started and turned on the rock to face me completely. Without touching me, he threaded his hands together and rested his elbows on his thighs, my knees between his legs. "There is link that keeps the brazen little minx locked here, and it's not Dean that helped create it."

"Okay, are you trying to get on my nerves?" I questioned, I had to, everything he said seemed to be a riddle.

"You need to get over your need for Dean Winchester and look at the bigger picture, Pet, not everything revolves around him."

"What is it with you people and your obsession with thinking I have anything for Dean?" I growled and watched the smile creep up on his face.

"We all have something for Dean, Love, in some way, shape or form, yours just runs a little deeper." I wanted to punch him, outright deck him but I clenched my hands together and sighed.

"So what exactly is the bigger picture?"

"How should I know?" He grumbled as he stood, "I'm just the king of hell not an amusement park psychic."

"Crowley," I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and stood as he walked towards the water. "What happened to my grandmother's grimoire? Did you take it?"

"You'll have to ask Moose. Why am I always the one at fault for you four and your stupid decisions?" He snapped and took a few steps towards me. "I love you, Angel, but sometimes I wish you got at least one swift kick in your spoiled little ass, maybe it would knock you off that pedestal that you keep teetering on."

"Crowley… Screw you." I growled, his little implication told me that something was really pissing him off and he was just going to hold it in, let it boil and then come at me with it one day.

"Just remember that when you need help with that one in the car." He answered, stepping up to me. "You don't get it, do you? The four of you always playing with lives that aren't yours, shifting things around so you can play monster hunters and pretend to _need_ to keep each other safe, it's nauseating. Pick a brother, Angel, hell pick both, but do something ballsy instead of sitting back and waiting for someone else to save you."

"You honestly think I'm sitting back and just letting this crap happen to me?" I laughed, and waited for his face to change. "And you know what, you can be jealous all you want, I don't have to choose anyone, I just have to straighten out what I've done."

"And did you ever ask them if they wanted it straightened out?" Man, what was it with him and the freaking questions? "Did you take two seconds of your precious _all about Ali_ time and ask them if they wanted you to be in their lives, if they wanted you to fix them because for all your trouble, they might have liked their life without you. Moose certainly seemed too. Not a care in the world, not a little love struck wanna-be that he had to worry about. No, that one was a hunter again, doing what he did best without thoughts of you swimming around in his head."

I couldn't hold back anymore, I swung and felt the sting of the palm of my hand across his cheek as his head whipped to the right, just a bit before he gathered his composure and brought his eyes back to me.

"What do you care about what I do, or how they feel? You've been screwing around with my life from the jump, who the hell are you to say anything?"

"I don't need to give you a reason, or an explanation for anything I've done, Angel. You think the world owes you everything, but it really doesn't. You are constantly wanting handouts to fix what you keep screwing up, but I'm through. You can stop asking." He growled and I watched the small spot of red on his lip grow.

"I haven't asked for anything that wasn't owed to me, Crowley, and you know it, plus, don't you think you have a few decades worth of catching up to do since I'm _your_ girl." I sneered and watched his eyes darken as he looked away.

"Jones really needs to keep his mouth shut."

"Did you honestly think I wouldn't find out and what does it matter if it was from Jones because it could have just as easily been from my father." But the smile on his face told me that I didn't know anything when it came to that.

"Your daddy would have never mentioned my name, not in passing, so it had to be Jones." he stated, like I needed to know how much my father would have kept him secret.

"Why?" And this got him to stare at me. "Why would my father keep you such a secret?"

Crowley closed the distance, almost fast enough to knock me backwards, but I grabbed the lapel of that coat and crushed it in my fists, just to hold on. "To keep you safe."

"Yeah, like I was totally safe before," I whispered, feeling the power radiate off him with just the contact that I had with his coat, but when he brought his hands down to grab my waist, I thought I was going to jump out of my skin.

"You were a thousand times more protected before this, before we made contact again. You don't know what I've done to keep you protected, Angel, you will never know how much I sacrificed to keep the darkness away." Crowley whispered and his eyes locked on me. "Family isn't always blood, sometimes it's not even human, but you ask way too much of it at times, way too much to keep the forces balanced, and if you continue to do so, you're going to tip the scales, and nothing good can come of that."

"I just want my family safe." Crowley nodded, he understood because, if I was honest with myself I would have seen it in his eyes, that all he wanted was for me to be exactly that.

"Than finish this," he replied and suddenly he was gone. I was standing there holding onto air and the weight of his hands were gone from my skin.

"Yeah," I whispered as I looked around the river, before taking a deep breath and heading towards the woods. "Let me get right on that."

It had been quiet in the car for a very long time, the only sound beside the clicking of the keyboard that I held on my lap in the backseat, as I leaned against the door opposite Dean, was the slow deep breaths he was taking. It had been maybe two hours since we had stopped, and I tried not to make a sound. The stealth keyboard on my laptop certainly helped since it was built as quiet as they came. Writing with kids in the room sometimes called for a bit of strategy… and not letting them know you were working.

The phone on the dash was what jolted the man awake. First the vibration seemed to echo through the silence, then the sound of "Smoke on the Water" blared through the car and Dean sat upright, grabbing for the phone. I watched him place it to his ear as he seemed to completely ignore the fact that I was even in the car.

"Sammy, what's wrong?" There was no sleep in his voice, he was fully alert and I watched him reach for the keys, but his fingers clenched together as his eyes shifted and rested on me. I bit down on my lip, as I looked up at him from under my lashes before going back to the document I was working on.

I could hear Sam's voice on the line. In such a quiet enclosed space it seemed to echo. "What's wrong Dean, is that you stole my girlfriend."

"I didn't steal your girl, she stole herself! It's not my fault that I had to come find her and haul her ass to Virginia." Dean growled and then stifled a yawn as he relaxed back against the door. "Wait, where are you?"

"Have you ever ridden in the car with Danni?" There was a pause on the line as Dean fumbled with his words, but Sam saved him the trouble. "Think about you wanting to find me and kick my ass, now times it times ten and be thankful that I'm not a freaking girl. And we've been in Winchester for over two hours. What happened?"

"Jesus, what time is it?" Dean ran a hand down his face and looked over at me as I raised a brow and stopped typing. "Ali kind of hijacked the car and made me pull over."

"Good." The younger one sighed.

"Good?" Dean barked. "You're asking me where the hell I am and when I tell you she basically carjacked me, you say good?"

"I'm going to assume she stole the keys too?" Sam laughed and I smiled as Dean went hunting for the two silver items. He turned and looked at me when he found them, scowled and swiped them from the dash. "You needed it, Dean, you've been exhausted trying to keep up with everything. Sleep doesn't hurt, you know."

"Why are you not pissed off?" He was just a little confused by this whole thing and I heard Sam sigh.

"She's safe, Dean, she's with you." Sam answered, but I could hear him exhale. I could imagine him standing there with a hand on his hip and the phone to his ear, switching the weight on his legs, and I couldn't help the smile that formed on my lips. I really wish he was there with me. "Danni and I are waiting at the hotel, just get here when you can… safely."

"Yeah, whatever," Dean rolled his eyes. "How is she? Danni, I mean, is she okay?"

"She's pissed, probably beyond pissed, but she's holding up."

"Good," Dean whispered as his eyes took on this far away look, but he smiled.

"Hey, is she there?" Sam questioned, and I smiled as Dean sighed and shook his head.

"No, Sammy, I left her at the rest stop I found her in," he snarked and passed the phone over the seat. I took it gently from his hand as he grabbed the pack of cigarettes, popped one out and reached for the door.

"Don't go past where the dirt meets the road," I spoke up, his eyes locking on mine as the one brow came up to question why. "It's not safe, the wards stop at the asphalt." Dean gave me just a little nod and disappeared out the door. Taking a breath, I put the phone to my ear and waited for just a second. "Hey, baby."

"Ali," Sam huffed, "what the hell were you thinking?"

"What?" I smiled, "I had my Team Sam anti-possession socks on, I was perfectly safe from demons."

This got him to pause, but I almost burst out laughing when he cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry, your what?"

"Socks, Sam, they're just socks." I placed the laptop on the back deck and sunk down in the seat, my head resting on the blanket that I had rolled up as a pillow to support the rest of me and pad the door. "I'm fine, Sam, honestly, I wouldn't have disappeared if I didn't know it was warded."

"Still, Ali," his voice was soft as he whispered, "I knew you were going but…"

"Didn't expect it to be that fast… yeah, me either." I placed my arm up behind my head, and closed my eyes, loving the sound of his breathing in my ear, imagining him next to me. "Are you alone?"

"Danni is in the bathroom at the moment, why?" But I could hear the need in his voice, the need to connect, to be close.

"Nothing, I just want to hear you." I sighed, and crossed my legs, even as they stretched out on the seat. I knew Dean was somewhere close, the ward kept him from going far but it wasn't Dean that I _wanted_ at that moment, it was Sam. "If I could curl up with you right now…"

"Dean's there." Sam stated quietly.

"I wish you wouldn't do that." And that came out like a growl, unintentionally.

"Because of how you feel about him?" Why was Sam whispering?

"Because he's your brother," I sighed, "and you're the one I want. Seriously, Sam, I love Dean, I do, but I want you, I'm in love with you."

"And I get that, but I'm not there right now, so cuddle up with Dean, get some sleep, a couple hours at least."

"And throw off our schedule even more?"

"You sound exhausted." How the hell could he be so observant so far away? "And when did you get a schedule?"

Okay, so he had a point, but I wasn't going to actually agree with the man who was trying to get me to bunker down with his brother in the backseat of the impala.

I ran my hand across my forehead and took a deep breath, but he was right, I was exhausted. I needed to sleep. God only knows how long I had been up for and what kind of power I had actually used with the wards,

"Ali," his voice whispered and I swore he was sitting next to me but when my eyes opened the phone was sitting on my chest, the speaker was on and I heard his light laugh across the line. "Let me talk to Dean."

"Yeah," I said, blinking and I sat up slowly, looking at the back of the tan shirt that leaned on the window. I'm sure he could have heard his brother outside the window but it wasn't until I tapped on the glass with the phone that Dean turned around. Sticking his head in the front window, I took a deep breath and raised a brow as he reached in and took the phone from me.

I'm not sure of the conversation, in fact, I wasn't sure of just about anything at that moment. Hearing Sam's voice had relaxed me enough that I had fallen asleep on him, which never happened, and even now, knowing that Dean was right outside the car with him on the phone, my mind relaxed. Apparently I relaxed enough to fall back into a light sleep and it wasn't until a hand gently pushed me onto my side that I even noticed the car was moving or the door had opened.

Blinking rapidly to get rid of the haze that covered my sight, I turned my head to look at Dean who was shimmying up between me and the backseat of the car. I scowled at this slick move of his but the only thing he did in return was smile.

"Sorry, Kid, just following orders." he whispered as his lips came down, a breath away from my ear and his arm slid under my neck, as his hand rested on my stomach, pulling me closer as he molded to me.

"When did you start following orders?" I laughed, but I was serious, what the hell had Sam said to him. I mean Dean was protective but never like this. He would have been the one that wanted to be on the road, getting this moving, not lying in the backseat watching me sleep.

"You ever hear Sammy growl?" he questioned and that itself made me shift. "Yeah, you have, pretty terrifying thing when it isn't meant to get you off, and I wasn't in the mood to argue with him." His voice was deep and mesmerizing, and I turned my head towards it bringing those lips closer "I promised to keep you safe, and if it means keeping you here for a few hours, I'm good with that."

"You just want to say you slept with me." I smiled, but it vaguely came out as words and he chuckled, his body moving with the laugh.

"I have been since April, tell me now what the difference is?" He retorted and I felt my body shiver. He was right, we had been in this position more than once and couldn't use that joke as an excuse.

"In the backseat of Baby, pretty sure that hasn't happened before. The Escape, maybe, but not this car." I kept going with it, trying not to lose the battle with the heavy feeling that filled my mind as my hand traveled down the seat to find his, lacing my fingers together the best they could with his. "I don't want to dream, Dean."

"I know, and I'll be here when you wake up, I'll try to keep the monsters away." He was trying to be reassuring but the only thing I needed to know was that he wasn't going anywhere, that his warmth would be there when I woke up. "Go to sleep, Ali, it will be alright."

"Dean," I know I said his name, maybe it came out more like a whisper, maybe it didn't come out at all but I felt him pull me closer as the darkness fell over me and I was pulled down into that weight.

 _It didn't stay dark for very long, in fact, it got bright really quick. Like a flash I was standing in the middle of the town I grew up in, I mean really in the middle of it. As the car horn blared, a hand reached out and grabbed my arm, yanking me from the middle of the street and I turned and looked at Danni._

 _She wasn't much older than what I remembered from the last dream and I took a deep breath, back into a memory, but the fact that I could tell the difference seemed to bother me deep down. Looking down at myself, I would gather I was somewhere in my teens, that awkward stage between when you're body figured out what it wanted to do, and actually making the decision to do it. Yep, that was me, but my thoughts didn't stay on the way I looked, nope, it was drawn to the rumble of a car that moved through the stop sign up the road._

 _Just as quickly as it passed, I reached down and grabbed Danni's hand, moving up the empty street with purpose, exactly what that was, i wasn't sure, but I had to know if the boys in that car were the ones my life had made me constantly run into. Two things ran through my head at that point. One, why was I in my town, when the last memory I had we were at my grandmother's and two, John would have known where we lived, so if he didn't want Sam exposed to anything, why come here. Oh wait, did I mention that, three, what the hell was Danni doing here?_

 _Okay, so this wasn't one of the best memories I had because everything was screwed up but I still wanted to know what my subconscious was telling me. As I crossed the street, ducked between two buildings and peeked around at the Impala that sat alone in the parking space, I realized that I had lost Danni somewhere along the line and I was standing alone. Day had turned to night and here I was playing spy on someone I knew to be dangerous._

 _The large, strong hand that fell on my shoulder made me jump a foot, but instinct, whether from now or then, I'm not sure, had me swinging before I knew it, and my fist connected with the hard muscle of a stomach, getting a "umph" from the man I was now looking up at._

 _I backed up as John's eyes locked on mine and confusion took over. I remembered him, though I was pretty sure I shouldn't at that point. I remembered every interaction I had ever had with him, the river the most but there were other small times that he had came into my life._

" _You shouldn't be here," he warned, and his voice was just the way I remembered it. I smiled, like a smartass and shook my head._

" _Mister, there are worse things than you in the dark." I replied, and then I remembered that after the vampire bite, I was always armed._

" _Yeah, I know," he whispered and sighed. "I thought your father would be smarter than this, letting you out at night alone."_

" _It's not that he's letting me," I confessed but not absolutely sure why. "There's just something about the night that…" I stopped and looked back at the car. "Nice Impala, why are you alone?"_

" _I'm not, my sons are around here somewhere, but you… you need to go home. Tonight is not the best night to be out." John being protective, that was kind of odd. I watched him look back into the darkness between the buildings, before his hand reached up and wrapped around my upper arm. "Come on, I'm going to take you home."_

" _And what about your boys? Shouldn't you stay and protect them?" I growled as I let him pull me towards the car. Once he had me sitting in the seat, he closed the door and leaned into it, looking at me like I was some sort of demon._

" _I am." He answered. John walked around the side of the car, jumped into the driver's seat and started her up. NOW I remember this memory, it was the very first time that the feel of the car was ingrained in my mind. "They're safe, they're soldiers and they're good boys, but they don't need to be around you. You'll only get them killed."_

 _I was silent the entire ride, never told him where my address was, didn't bother to even take my eyes off him as he drove. Nope, I remembered him from my grandmother's house, from the river, from some interactions that I couldn't quite pull to the surface yet but I definitely knew him._

 _He stopped just down the hill from the driveway, reached across the seat and popped open the door._

" _Out!" He ordered, but there was definitely a bit of a Dad voice in that one word. I huffed, rolling my eyes and slipped out before turning towards him and leaning in, narrowing my eyes at him. "You need to keep yourself safe. I know the night calls to you, Alison, but seriously, stay inside the next few nights, at least until the moon starts fading."_

" _Are you hunting a werewolf or something?" I questioned and I watched the shock on his face. "Supernatural stuff doesn't bother me."_

" _No, but it can kill you, so just stay inside." He was begging. John Winchester was begging and even as it went against everything in me, I nodded. I agreed and slowly backed away from the car, closing the door as I watched his eyes stay locked on mine until he pulled out of the turnaround and drove away._

I breathed in deeply, my eyes flying open and I looked around. Just in time to see the sun peeking through the trees. It was still early morning. Trying to get my heart under control was definitely a lot harder than my breathing but I felt Dean press against me, his breath on my neck and I knew that neither of them were helping the heart rate situation at all. I moved slowly, turning over in his arms and found myself looking at his peaceful eyes, his parted lips and I bit down on mine.

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?! At least that was what I wanted to yell at my brain for the images that suddenly were threatening to come to the surface. NOPE, not kissing Dean again, not wanting to kiss Dean again, not needing to kiss Dean AGAIN!

Crap!

A power surged through me as I reached out my hand, my fingers just breaths away from his face, and I could feel the heat of his skin. It was like a pulse that just vibrated through me, and I could hear his heartbeat. Swallowing hard, I closed my eyes against the urge and suddenly I was flashed back to that one moment in time where I was standing over him.

 _I growled against his lips, a deep-throated thing that made me sound possessive, and suddenly I backed away, releasing him from my hold and with my body exhausted and fighting to stay standing, I wiped the blood from under my lips with the back of my hand. His eyes were locked on mine, searching for something human and I let the power flicker across, let the vision change to see that I wasn't coming back, not anytime soon and his eyes went wide._

" _Next time, Dean, I won't take that blade away, so stop listening to my heart, stop following that vibration. Because the next time you and I meet like this, you better be ready to use that blade, Ali won't be here anymore!" I turned and stumbled, but caught myself as I moved into the darkness, leaving him sitting there, healed enough to move, but shocked enough to be frozen in his spot._

I remembered it exactly how it happened, I remembered everything about Virginia but that part, that little bit of intimate touch, it wasn't supposed to be like that, it wasn't supposed to draw me closer. That was me trying to push Dean away, so why did it feel like we had sealed a deal? A demon and a human, a contract for your soul when your ten years were up?

In the car, I blinked, shivered, and moved my hand from his face, never meeting the goal of actual contact, but I could feel his chest rise against me, almost sense that he was staring at me under half-laden eyes and when I looked up from his lips, I found that emerald green locked on me.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered, as I shook more, trying to hold back what was going on inside me as the flash of power crossed my vision and I heard him gasp, just a little. "Ali, look at me."

"I am," I snapped.

"No, you're not!" He snapped and he was right, all I was seeing was the way the world around him darkened, the way the red pulsed through veins and the way his body shifted with a strange light. "Stop looking through me and start looking at me."

"I can't," I struggled to even get my voice under control as the feeling of him being so close set me off. I tried to push away, but the hand around my waist only tightened and the one that was under my neck came around, moving my hair from my shoulder to that he could have some sort of connection. "Dean, don't touch me, please, just let me go."

"Can't do that, Kid, not until you get it under control." he spoke softly, like I was some sort of traumatized adolescent.

But I wasn't traumatized, I was wanting… wanting badly and with him so close it was hard to resist.

"Dean, please," begging was not above me at this point because no matter how hard I tried to push away, he tugged me closer, "I don't want to hurt you."

"You think you can take me?" He laughed, the little shit laughed!

I moaned at his words and felt his body stiffen. "You don't know how much I want to."

"Yeah, well this ain't over yet and we haven't figured out Danni or Sam so there is no taking of anyone at this point, Sweetheart." He growled back, suddenly getting the point of what was going on, and just as quickly as his voice changed to a commanding tone, I found myself under him on the warmth of the seat. Shocked at the turn of events, I stared up at him, the red haze fading as my lips parted and he stared down, hand on my hip, other fisted by my ear. "Reign in your demon, Ali, get her back behind your wall before you do something monumentally stupid."

"This coming from a Winchester who wants nothing more than his girl and his brother's." WHAT THE HELL? I heard the deep voice from my own body, the one that escaped my lips, I saw the flash of red and then it was all gone. Dean's eyes darkened as he looked at me, watching me visibly begin to shake and suddenly the pain flashed through me.

I reached up and grabbed his shirt with both hands, closing my eyes tightly as I clenched my teeth.

"Ali," was the only thing I heard, the only sound that seemed to penetrate the sharp pain in my temple.

"Call Cas," I whispered, pleading with him, and when I opened my eyes, I watched him sit back in shock, putting as much distance between him and I as he could without releasing his weight from my lap. "Dean, you need to call Cas."


	106. DH Remembrance - 40

**Chapter 40**

Hey Soul Sister

Dean didn't bother to move from the spot he had so graciously found, which was at the moment holding me down in the backseat of the Impala. He wasn't going to let me go, not if I was going to run headlong into the woods, which I thought of doing the instant the demon's voice had come out from between my lips.

"Son of a…" He reached forward and snatched up his phone, dialing out but then he growled, let it sail onto the back deck and rolled down the window. "Can he get through the warding?"

"Ali is very adept at moving around the sigils so that there is some spots that I can squeeze through, but they aren't places any that other angels, or demons, would think to look." Dean spun around the best he could, seeing Cas standing right by the back door. I pushed at that man who continued to hold me down, hoping he would get the hint and after what felt like forever, which was no more than a few seconds, Dean was sliding out the back door and Cas was moving in as I sat up. His blue eyes were locked on mine as he slid closer, that look of wonder etched across his face as he reached out a hand, cupping my cheek. "What have you done?"

"I can't stop it, Cas," I whispered, feeling more than defeated and I closed my eyes against the weight of his touch, "and I can't control it either."

"I'll help you," he sighed softly and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me as close as he could before looking up at Dean. My eyes went to the older Winchester who was standing just outside the door, leaning into watch the interaction between us. Cas turned to stare at him and I knew just when they made eye contact because the power in the vehicle seemed to shift. Light to light, or just possibly their profound connection seemed to vibrate through the car. "We need to get her to Virginia, Dean, as fast as possible."

"Yeah," he replied, snatching the phone off the deck, as he took a deep breath, "right."

The car rumbled to life, the wards the surrounded her disappeared as soon as her back tires left the solace of the trees, and Dean stepped on the gas, kicking up dirt and rocks before he hit that asphalt gunning.

I felt nothing for the longest time, hours stretched before me as I took comfort in the fact that Cas was shielding anything he could, even the power that seemed to bombard the car. I could feel waves of it at times but there wasn't much getting through.

"Cas," was all my lips would let out for a moment as I tried to gather anything that might resemble some sort of words, as my mind raced in twenty directions. I felt his fingers under my chin, and he gave just a little nudge as my head tilted back. Was I on his lap? Was I sitting on the seat, so much of it was a blur, but I could feel his arm under my neck and I watched as he smiled, looking down at me. The strange shadows that surrounded us made me think of only his wings and I reached out to touch it with a weak hand, but there was nothing there to grab onto before my eyes landed back on his. "Did I hurt him?"

"Who?" He sighed, a little confused but not so much that he didn't get that reference. "No, you didn't touch him, you had at least that much control, and I think he did as well."

"I can't keep hurting my family, Cas," I felt the wetness of the tear that slide down my face and felt his thumb brush over my cheek, wiping it away. "What happens when this is over?"

"I don't…" he was just about to say understand but I know he definitely did because it seemed to grow in his expression. "Nothing is going to happen except that this power will wan, Ali, you'll be fine. You _and_ Danni. Neither of you are going to leave us again."

"No way," Dean growled, "it hasn't even been two weeks, there is no way I'm losing you again."

I tried to smiled, tried to imagine how I went that long without him, without Sam and Danni in my life but as I did, the memories assaulted me and I felt my stomach turn into knots.

"Dean, pull over," I begged, feeling the gut-wrenching twist coming faster, "please."

Cas seemed to panic as I stiffened in his arms. He glanced up wide-eyed at the man in the driver's seat. "I suggest you do it quickly."

Dean swerved off the side of the road, the car sitting half in the incline but that was just enough for me to move out of the angel's arms and scoot down to nearly kick the door open as I grabbed the handle. However far I got from the car, however many seconds or minutes it took me to get there, I couldn't tell you but I knew one thing, there wasn't any content in my stomach when I finally came to rest back on my heels as I knelt in the tall grass.

I could feel them behind me, both Cas and Dean making their way from the Impala, but I just stood on wobbly legs and hoped I could get just a bit further away before one of them wrapped their arms around me.

This time it was Cas, as my unbalanced gait almost sent me tumbling towards the ground and he pulled me back to him as we both found ourselves cushioned on in the long grass of the field. I clutched onto his arm, wrapping around not only the solid muscle underneath but the heavy canvas jacket that he wore that surprisingly still smelled like the man who let him borrow it, and the subtle hint of cinnamon and wind.

Not sure how he managed but I soon found myself staring at the bright blue orbs of the angel, his hands cupping my face as I breathed through the unsavory feeling in the pit of my stomach. Blinking seemed to be a chore, but I did it just a few times in order to keep him in my sight.

Out of the corner of my eyes, in my peripheral, I watched Dean's strength falter and slowly he fell to his knees, hands resting on his thighs as sadness and helplessness took over, clouding those green eyes with worry. I knew what he was feeling, did my best to block it, but his hand reached out, taking mine in his and he shook his head.

"I'm strong enough, Ali, I can handle it." he sighed and I barely shook my head, still locked between Cas' large hands.

"Even if you were the strongest man in the world, Dean Winchester, I don't want you to be strong enough, I just don't want you to feel it at all." I whispered, my free hand coming up to place on Cas' before I pushed away and took the older one in fully. "The tether, our connection, it's not fair to you, or any other person to have to feel someone else's emotions, not like this."

"Hey," he sighed, shimmying forward on his knees to close the distance. Talk about personal space issues, I honestly didn't think that Dean knew as much about it even with the way he kept scolding Cas because suddenly they were both close enough to feel their body heat. "Listen, you need this, okay, we both do, so stop trying to push me away and suck it up and deal with it. I'm not going anywhere and if I have to repeat that until I'm blue in the face, than honey, you better get used to hearing my voice."

"I love your voice," I replied meekly but blinked because it was a thought that wasn't supposed to pass my lips, it was supposed to have stayed in my head. I watched him smile as he leaned forward and kissed my head. I groaned as he got close and suddenly pushed him away. "I need a toothbrush."

"Yeah," he sighed, still smiling as he pushed up to his feet, "I'll go get it."

As Dean left, I let my body slouch back against Cas.

"You need to stop wasting energy pretending to be okay, Ali, it's going to wear on you." the angel's gravelly voice warned as I nestled into the crook of his arm, feeling him wrap around me again and I shook my head

"I have to be okay, Cas," I whispered, as the power slowly drained from me and I found it hard to keep my eyes open. "If I don't keep it in, who's going to stop me when it blows up?"

"I'm not going anywhere, just like Dean said, suck it up and deal, was it?" he questioned, his voice so stoic that I had to laugh and his lips touched my forehead. "Just like everything, we're going to make it through this."

It was then that Dean's footsteps could be heard through the grass, I felt more than saw him kneel again and took a deep breath as he ran his fingers over my face. I pried my eyes open and raised a brow as he held out the toothbrush, paste and a bottle of water.

"I got this," I smiled and reached out for the items he held, but when I felt Cas move away, I also felt my body sway.

"Yeah, doll, you got this alright." Dean laughed as he moved to take Cas' spot, helping me to my feet and over to a tree I could lean against. Keeping watch as I stood with one arm out braced against the hard bark of the tree, Dean only gave me a few quick glances as I took care of business, finally rinsing the foam from my mouth as I stuffed the toothpaste in my pocket and rinsed the brush off before finally capping the bottled. "You done?"

I snickered as I leaned my forehead against the tree and let my eyes wander over to the well formed backside that was facing me. I admired him for a moment, the way he stood with his legs slightly open, arms crossed, which stretched his overshirt and the tee-shirt underneath and suddenly, he cleared his throat. My eyes snapped up to him as he stared me down. Yeah, play it off, Winchester, like you weren't doing the same thing.

"You get a good look?" he smiled, and I couldn't help the smirk that crossed my lips. I moved away from the tree, placing the brush and the bottle in my pocket and tried, and failed, to walk by all tough.

"You're still dressed, aren't you?" I smiled but so much for mighty and powerful because it was just as I was about to pass him that a wave of exhaustion hit me, or was it wave of power, either way, it was sending me to my knees.

He grasped me around the waist, swooped one arm under my knees and lifted me into his arms, bridal style. The feeling made my stomach turn and I let the heaviness in my head lead to my cheek being pressed against his shoulder.

"Thought you were big and bad coming out with that line, didn'tcha?" he laughed but I let my hand move, slip up inside his thicker cotton shirt as I pressed it against his chest. The hard thump of his heart was just under my palm, but I ran my hand slightly right, feeling the muscle of his peck before my thumb ran over the hardness of his nipple and he moaned, stopped in his tracks and placed his lips against my forehead. "You might want to stop that."

"M'sorry," I said lazily and tried to pull my hand away, but not before making another pass at it.

"Uhh," he almost moaned, "Ali," my name was just a soft whisper, as he moved, faster this time, and nearly tossed me into Cas' arms. Away from his body heat, my hand now completely my own, he touched my cheek lightly and looked down into my eyes, albeit my droopy, half-mast ones. "Your touch is getting to be too much, and we're not done, remember?"

I turned away from him, snuggled into the angel and tried to get rid of the lustful feelings towards the older one. I missed Sam, as much as that sounded like a cop-out right then, I missed his body and his touch, and everything he let me do to him. He seemed to be my anchor and without him… the need for anything physical ran amuck.

"Let's go," Dean growled. I wasn't sure what had angered him, but I think I got the point as Cas slipped me back into the backseat of Baby and made his way in himself, essentially blocking me from Dean, who slid in behind the wheel and started the engine.

Taking the toothbrush, paste and bottle from my jacket, I placed them up on the back deck (the bottle on the floor) and leaned against the door. Closing my eyes, I hoped for darkness, what I got was something completely different.

Zane had me, the demon hybrid with the power that shook me to the core. Pinning me in place, blocking my way out, I felt powerless against him but powerful as our bodies touched. This man, this thing was drawing on my darkness and I wanted it. I felt my body shaking, the one being touched by Cas, the one being rocked by the car, I felt it shake with the power he let off.

" _There's nothing that you can offer that would make me even want to listen." His smile turned evil and he pushed me against the wall, using all of his body to keep me there as he took hold of my free hand and wrapped his fingers around both of my tiny wrists, holding them tightly above my head. With force he wrapped his hand around my neck and held my head against the brick, making it so I couldn't look away._

" _You are strong, more so than I thought you would ever be." His breath was against my face as he leaned in and stoked his lips along my cheek, close to my ear, "I want you to be my bride, rule beside me when I take over this world." His words alone brought the visions that John… that Asmodeus had shown me back to the forefront of my thoughts. Sam and Dean dead, Danni and Cas destroyed and me standing on the top of some damned bus looking over the mayhem with John right beside me. "Forget your little hunter, forget your Winchester, I can love you so much more than him."_

" _Sam," I whispered, as the tear fell from my eyes, the vision of his bloodied and broken body flashed through my mind and I struggled against his grip. "Let me go you son of a bitch!"_

My eyes fluttered as the thought of the man I loved became all encompassing and all I wanted was him. With a deep breath, I forced my eyes open and looked around the interior of the car. I must have whispered a name, or said something in my sleep because Cas stared at me with curiousness and Dean's green eyes were focused on me in the rearview, filled with worry, and maybe a hint of jealousy, or maybe not and my scrambled mind was just being hopeful.

I closed my eyes tightly, clenched my fists and let the feeling of my fingertips dig into my skin. I put my head back on the seat and sighed.

"Sam," it was one word, one very powerful word, and apparently it took me right to the very spot I wanted to be.

"Ali?" His voice sang through me, like a beacon vibrating every part of not only my soul but every muscle in my body as well.

I slowly released my hands, took a breath and opened my eyes to see him sitting on the edge of the bed, in a motel room that I remembered oh so very well. He was tying his shoe, but I watched as he slowly let that foot come to rest on the floor as I swallowed.

Was I really there? Was he truly right in front of me?

They were questions that ran through me over and over but then I realized, dream or not, I didn't care, I needed him, like I needed to breath and suddenly I was moving, headed over towards the bed as fast as I could.

He let out a breath the moment I sat down hard on his lap, my hips pressed tight against his, heat upon heat and I wrapped my arms around his neck as his slowly snaked around my body, one spreading fingers wide to capture between my shoulder blades.

"What are you doing here?" He managed to whisper. I sat up, pushing against him and I shook my head, my sight going from his ever-changing eyes to his lips.

"It doesn't matter," was the only thing I could reply before I closed that distance and pressed my lips to his.

Like a puzzle piece that fit just right, our lips slotted together, in a soft kiss, one that turned passionate and bruising after the first initial brush. Yeah, he needed just as much as I did and his other hand came up to curl into my hair, holding me as his want became demanding, and I felt his hips roll up into me.

Inside his pocket, against the inner part of my left thigh, I felt his phone vibrate and it was so close to the heated center of all of me that I moaned against his mouth, a sound that egged him on enough to penetrate me with his tongue, exploring the warmth as much as he could before the phone silenced itself but within moments repeated it's onslaught.

Sam pulled away, breathless and pressed his forehead against mine as a low growl escaped his throat and I shivered at the sound of it. Pushing at my thigh, his hand dipped into his pocket and retrieved the annoying little piece of technology. I watched his jaw clench as he blinked long and hard before putting the phone to his ear.

My mind was on twenty different things but getting a sound out of the man beneath me was at the forefront and he place it beside his ear, my lips ventured over his left cheek and down to his neck. Small rumbles of low groans vibrated against my mouth as I kiss along his neck, down to where it sloped. Sam hissed in my ear as he laid his cheek against my head, trying to ignore the man on the phone, or trying to concentrate on him and failing.

"I'm going to guess by the noises that you have Ali there," Dean snapped.

"Yeah," Sam whispered, but it came out more of like a "ah" then anything.

"She popped out of the car, Sam!" Dean had to make a point, and that was when the hand in my hair tightened. Dammit, playtime was over. I back away, I knew Sam's questions, and I stared him straight in the eyes. "She literally pulled a Cas!"

"Dean, I'm not sure that I do exactly that." Castiel mumbled loud enough in the background.

"She's here, Dean, she's safe," Sam made sure to point out as his fingers kneaded against my scalp, a feeling that I couldn't help but sigh and close my eyes over. That magic was just what I was looking for. "She's okay."

"I'm sure she's purring like a kitten," I heard Dean's sarcastic reply. "Keep her there, we have about an hour left, or should I send Cas?"

"No!" Sam snapped a bit too fast and caught his breath as I pushed my cheek against his, letting him hear what his touches were doing to me. He cleared his throat as his brother huffed. "No, I'll keep an eye on her."

"Yeah, you do that," he replied, not impressed and then the line went dead.

Sam dropped it, literally just let it go and the hand that held it joined the other in my hair as he turned his lips to mine once again. This time he took control of the kiss and me as he managed to gingerly drop me down to the mattress and ravage my mouth with his, dipping back in for another round of tongue play.

I felt him press down between my legs, letting me lock him in place as I wrapped my thighs the best I could around his waist and suddenly he was moving, pumping against me and I smiled as he pulled back. His pupils were blown wide, the blue color darkened so that only the dark green of want remained and I knew he was feeling the lust that sung through my body.

"We can stop if you want," I whispered and he only shook his head. "How do you know this is really what you want and not just my need?"

"I can always feel you, Ali," he sighed as he lowered to my lips again, brushing little kisses against them as I turned my head and let that mouth travel over my cheek and down to the very sensitive spot on my neck, but he didn't stay there, he came back up, his hand palming over my breast, flicking at the hardness of my nipple, a sensation that had me pressing my head back into the comforter. "I will always need you."

"Sam!" I growled through clenched teeth.

What was I going to tell him, pinch harder? Do something other than tease? Hell I loved the teasing, but as always, I needed things rougher. I wished I could take the sweet and innocent, the let me love you tenderly, but that wasn't it, that was never it. I wanted to be claimed and only by him. I wanted to be marked.

As if reading my mind, his teeth suddenly went right to the slope of my neck, to his favorite spot, and mine too if I was honest. He bit down hard and deep, lips wrapping around where his teeth drew up the skin and he sucked. The feeling of it had my eyes roll back in my head and my hips roll up to meet his as his strong hand tangled into my hair, gripping tight, the other quickly moving down to unbutton my jeans.

Pulling the rough material down by wrapping his fingers around the waist of it, my only help in all of it was to lift my hips off the bed in order for him to have the ease of bringing them down over my ass. Thank God I wore the loose ones.

The cool air against the wet heat between my legs had me gasp just as his teeth clenched a little more and the moan he let crawl up through his cords shivered against my neck, more so when he slipped a finger in between the folds and I was suddenly filled with an ache as he curled up and hit that one small spot within me.

I bucked against him, hmmed in his ear, needing more, but waiting because Sam obviously needed just as much as I did as he slipped a second finger in. I moved my hands, ones that felt like they weren't my own, but definitely being controlled by everything I was thinking and grabbed for his belt.

His defiant hiss through his teeth told me to either go fast and be done with it or take my time and get him more worked up but as I slipped the zipper down, felt his length and decided, yeah, there was no way this man was getting anymore worked up than he already was.

I pushed the jeans over his hips, taking the briefs down with me and suddenly felt that hot and heavy evidence against my skin, making me bite my lips as the suction on my neck continued. Once they were down enough for my liking, I wrapped my tiny hands around him. Tiny compared to the way he filled them and he pushed forward into the way my fingers squeezed.

This broke his hold, it brought his teeth and lips away from my skin as he sucked in a deep breath close to my ear.

"Do it," he encouraged and I smiled as I slid up the length of him and back down. His head instantly fell forward onto my shoulder and I could feel his heart racing against me. The way his breath came out in little gasps with each pass over the very tip of him made me smile and I turned just enough so I could touch him with my cheek.

I didn't realize how much of a turn-on it was to be in control of him, the way that things built up under my touch and it had me following him, breathing into him, moving against him as his hips decided that my rhythm was too slow.

His fingers wrapped around my hips, holding me there as his moved at their own pace. I stilled my hands, letting him choose how long he moved, how fast he pulled and I smiled as his head turned and his lips found mine once again. This time the kiss came with sighs, and moans and the occasional _hmmphs_ that he made when he hit just that right spot several times in a row but, even as the kiss wore on, there was a sudden stop and I looked up to find his eyes tightly closed, his jaw clenched and I knew.

"Want you," he whispered, and it came out demanding through those lips, but I knew what he what he meant. I moved him, felt him shift down so that our hips aligned, so that all I had to do was place him where I wanted him and move. And I did just that, slipped him in, and pressed upwards, taking in just the first few inches. My breath caught and the noise he made seemed like he was in shock, or like he had been punched in the gut. "Ugh… Godda…"

I didn't let him finish before I moved again, sliding back and then pressing up, this move got a growl from him, a deep, possessive, screw everything growl and suddenly he was filling me, not forcefully, just a little more at a time than I was playing with him and it was my turn to make the noises.

My fingers clenched around his arms and he pushed up from my body, placing all of his weight on his elbows as his forehead touched mine and his hips started a slow dance that had me reeling. He smiled as the noises that he pulled from my lips did nothing but egg him on and I was good with that, I wanted more, but he had this evil look in his eye.

"Don't move," he ordered and I shook my head.

"No way that's going to happen there, Captain." I tried to smile, but inside he rubbed just the right way and I found the smile fading into one of pure feeling.

"Stay still or I'll pull out and we'll be done," he snapped and I found my smile once again. His eyes were trained on mine. This wasn't a simple request, it wasn't something he was threatening me with per se, it was more of what he wanted to do, but I had to agree to it. With a little nod, I steadied myself, let the feeling of him shift his weight to one arm register as the fingers of the other traveled down the length of my side to my knee, where he hooked his arm under it and brought my leg up as far as it could go. "Say no if you need me to stop."

I wanted to laugh at him, but just nodded in reply. When had I ever told him no? When had I ever denied him what he needed or wanted?

His push was still slow and steady, teasing as he moved, bringing me up to a new high that I never thought I would be able to achieve and part of me wanted to know why we hadn't tried something like this before.

I kept my body as still as I could, concentrating on just the feel of him on the inside as well as out, especially when his fingers caressed the outside of my leg, down to where my backside curved and his fingers found the sensitive skin just below the very spot where he was picking up his torturous pace. I closed my eyes, knowing what he wanted to do next, but I was enjoying being able to focus on one thing. I knew if he went there, that there was no way I was doing anything anymore.

I wanted to say no, but all I did was shake my head, and his fingers stop their movements for a moment before he continued to move closer, brushing over every small spot he could find but never penetrating. I knew he wanted to ask, but all I did was nod when I was able to look up into his eyes. Tease but don't go further, yep, that was exactly what I was _trying_ and _failing_ to say to him, but he got it, he understood.

I was done with the not moving, I needed him, and he was taking his sweet time. I felt my legs start to twitch, my body feel the need to shift and I looked up at him pleading, but the only thing I got in return was a slight roll of the corner of his lips and his kaleidoscope eyes focused in on mine.

"How bad do you want it?" He breathed, which amazed me how husky his voice had become, dripping with sex as he slid in deep and pumped with shallow movements, that alone seemed to send me skyrocketing.

"Sam!" I growled at him, but moaned in the same word, closing my eyes as I arched my back towards him. I wanted a release, needed one, no matter how fast or slow it came as long as it was hard. He peeled my hands from his body, caught both my wrists between the fingers of one hand and moved them above my head.

"Okay?" he whispered, wanting confirmation and all I could do was nod. I knew what was coming next as he sat up more, tucking his knees under him and with that free hand, he slipped under the small of my back, hoisting my hips up onto his thighs. "If I hurt you…"

"You won't," I stopped him quickly. It was always a concern, especially with what he wanted to do, and how badly he needed to do it. He waited, adjusting himself without moving and he slipped in deeper, almost to the point that I could _feel_ him in my soul. "Please, Sam."

"I love the way you whisper my name," he mumbled against my ear as he brought his lips down to brush my cheek, at the same time as he thrust forward for the first time.

I felt the sound vibrate through my throat, and when the soft brush of the air rushing through me touched his skin, all barriers were broken.

He set the speed, using his body to keep my legs spread wide, to let him in as deep as he could go and it was a pace that I loved, hard, swift and just enough to make my head spin, and with all of that he seem to know exactly where to hit with every shift.

I curled my captured hands into fists, curving around one of his thick fingers as I felt the end coming, the wave after wave of exactly what I needed, that endless release that no one else could seem to give me and I tightened around him, lifting my head to hopefully catch his lips. A cruel grin twisted on his lips as he came down and left his mouth just far enough away from me that I could feel his breath, and the warmth and promise of a kiss but he never closed the distance, no matter how many pleading noises I made.

I let my head fall back on the bed, tightened my legs around him as the edge moved closer, and I closed my eyes tightly, lips parted as the sounds creeped out and just as I was about to go over, when I couldn't get any more tense, he let me have just what I wanted. His lips came crashing down, meeting mine with brutal force and I took it all in, the way he felt inside, the sensation of his body brushing mine and the taste of his lips as he claimed me.

That was it, I was done, and as much as I needed to pull away to breath, I needed Sam so much more. Moaning into that kiss, letting his own breath fill me, I crashed down, clenching and seizing around him and I felt him swell within me, taking that edge without stopping. His body didn't stop this time, didn't shorten the strides he took, never once bothered to allow him the pleasure of feeling every explosion, no this time it just took him with it.

He bit down on my lip, not hard enough to draw blood, but definitely enough for me to feel it, which sent me careening over again, as the noises he made stretched out, deepened and slowly turned into ragged breaths, his warmth spilling over until his sweat-soaked body came to rest on mine and the hand holding me released.

I let my fingers trace down that muscular arm until I split them and rested one on the back of his shoulder, the other tangled up in his hair and he placed his cheek against my chest, listening to the beat of my heart as his untangled his legs from underneath me, slipping out in the process, which got just a little more than a sigh from me.

I stared up at the ceiling for a moment, my body completely vibrating with power and sexual energy. You would think something that strong would have worn me out, but now I just seemed to feel everything, and just as I thought it couldn't get any stronger, I felt the pull of the teether moments before I heard the rumble of the car as it made its way to the motel.

"They're here," Sam sighed, willing his body to move, but I just tightened my grip.

"That's fine, they can be here all they want," I whispered, but somewhere in those words was an emotion I couldn't quite put my finger on. "Let Dean be with Danni, I know they need to talk about Dean taking off, and I just need this now, I just need you now."

"Good," he growled, and it was totally a _MINE_ thing, "I wasn't planning on letting you go."

The car stopped in front of the door, as my eyes blinked hard to stay open. Maybe it was how close Dean was, or maybe sleep had finally caught up with me, but the need to move was waning and I felt Sam's strong arms pull me closer, shifting so that he wasn't falling into a post-sex sleep crushing my lungs.

The doors opened, and closed, and I heard Danni's voice, full of confusion, anger and suddenly relief. Dean _umphed_ as she ran up (I say this because I could hear her boots hitting the ground) and flung her arms around him.

The muffled sounds of their conversation filled my ears, the shifting of their steps told me that they were headed for her room, but the pause in one of them told me that someone needed reassurance, and through the teether I sent out a sigh, a content sign that everything was going to work out just fine.

The steps moved on as the message was received, and I couldn't help the smile that crossed my lips, just as my lids stopped fighting gravity and I was drawn deep into a dreamless sleep, surrounded by Sam Winchester, not knowing what was going to come next, but knowing it needed to happen.

Please, God, let us win this time.


	107. DH Remembrance - 41

**Chapter 41**

Feel the thunder…

 _The lights were just a little too bright as I opened my eyes and looked up at the woman in front of me, my arm stretched high awkward. I turned my vision to the things that surrounded me, the shelves on each side, the way the items, boxes and cans stacked higher than my head and I realized that the person holding me was my mother._

" _Really, Ali, we only stopped two hours ago." Her voice, I always remembered her voice, not that I didn't hear it now every time she called or came over, but I remembered this voice._

 _We shuffled past people, things with purpose before she stopped at the bathroom door and I felt her drop my hand. Okay, pitstop, but, why didn't I remember anything about this. I had nothing on this place, and no reason for the fact that everything was so much bigger than I was, until the door to the bathroom swung open and I looked up._

 _She was beautiful, her blonde hair coming down in curls, and her smile seemed to light up the world as she stopped dead and looked at my mother. I remember the way they stared, unsure of who they were looking at but the grin that crossed my mother's face was one of excitement. The woman had a boy on her hip, and her stomach was round, and full, and I watched as she lowered the boy down to his feet, but he clung to her leg._

 _The instant chatter of voices filled my ears but the vision of the boy's face took over. I wasn't going to go any closer, just watch him from where I stood but his bottom lip quivered and I couldn't help but move closer._

 _He looked like he had been crying, maybe not all that much but in a_ I want my way _kind of deal, and I watched those bright green eyes grow wide with curiosity as I stepped closer. His dirty blonde hair fell in curls, like his mom but I knew those eyes from somewhere. Stopping close to him, I smiled, or at least I felt myself smile before reaching out to touch him._

 _He sniffled, stepped away from his mother's leg, still one hand touching it and he moved up to brush his face against my fingers. Both of us stopped as the vibration flowed between us. He smiled at the tickle, I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me and finally I stepped closer until I could easily lean in and tell him a secret._

" _What's your name?" he asked me._

" _Ali," I shrugged, like it was no big deal._

" _Pretty," he replied, "I'm Dean."_

" _I like it." and we both turned to look up at the door as the bell above it rang. A tall man, with unruly shaggy hair stepped towards us, smile on his face._

" _Mary, I…" the two of us watched the way his eyes settled on the pair of women that hogged the space by the bathroom door, and he stopped not far away, trying to look kind of happy, maybe happy, nope, totally fake. "Del, what are you doing in Virginia?"_

" _John, so good to see you again." Mom reached out and hugged him, to which he hugged back, but the look on his face was weird, and his eyes traveled down to me. "Ali had to make a pitstop. I swear she's the only one in the house with a bladder the size of a pea."_

 _Wait, how old was I here? Was my brother born yet? Dean? Really, that means… Mary was pregnant with Sam. I looked up at her and John but stepped closer to the boy, feeling his hand fist the loose dress I was wearing._

 _John was still staring down at me, the smile gone from his face, as something like acknowledgement flashed through his eyes._

" _Don't worry, Alwi, I's protectes you." The little boy's voice whispered in my ear, and all I knew at that moment was that I had no doubt that he would. I knew right then that I was safe, the safest I would ever be._

 _John squatted down, becoming eye to eye with me and I tilted my head just a little while looking into the depth of his eyes. He smiled, or tried to, but he reached out and touched the length of my hair._

" _Ali," he breathed, like I was some sort of mystery, or something he never thought he would see. "You're just like I imagined you would be."_

" _Hi," was all I could manage to say and this got an actual smile from him, but I reached back and grabbed for Dean, not that the man would see because he was too busy looking over my face. "I have to go to the bathroom."_

 _It was the only thing I could think of saying to get away from that stare, but that would mean letting go of the boy's hand, and I didn't want to do that. John nodded and stood, which made me step back. He was tall, taller than my dad, but there was something about him that made me curious. I watched his eyes go from me to the women who were still chatting things up before I tugged on my mom's jeans._

" _Mommy, I have to go." I pleaded and watched her look down at me, but she smiled at the way I held Dean's hand. I turned to Mary and cocked my head to the side and smiled. "Do you have a baby in there?"_

 _Mary squatted down and smiled. "Yes I do."_

 _I reached out slowly, my hand still tight on Dean's and I pressed it against her stomach. The vibration I felt with the green-eyed boy zipped through me to the child still in the womb and I couldn't help the giggle._

" _He's very strong." I replied and rubbed her belly as if petting his hair. "Can I meet him when he's here?"_

" _I'm sure you can, sweetheart." Mary whispered, but I watched her smile turn fake as well. Adults sucked at being nice and I moved my hand from her stomach. "How do you know it's a boy?"_

 _I leaned in closer, glanced up at my mother and grinned, giving her stomach a little pat. "He told me."_

" _Okay, Ali, let's go, Daddy's waiting in the car." My mom held her hand down for me and I took it, watched Mary stand with the help of John and I glanced at Dean._

" _Bye Dean." I whispered, and watched the way his lips started to quiver again, threatening to become an all out cry as his fingers fell away._

" _Bye Alwi." he sighed and his arm dropped to his side as John scooped him up off his feet. I watched as they started to walk away, but Dean didn't break eye contact. He and I just stared until the door opened and the bright light of the sun outside blinded my vision._

I sat up slowly in bed, still caught in that little memory, still seeing the way that Dean looked at me even when he was so young, hell I was young. Cas said it the river wasn't the first time we met, and I shook my head.

Virginia? Really? What were the odds that we would meet for the first time at a store somewhere in the state that everything went down?

With a deep breath, I slid out from under the cover and slowly got dressed, trying my best not to disturb the man still laying there. If I remembered right, there was a diner across the way that served really good coffee and I certainly could use one now.

Sneakers on and Sam's large coat (more so on me) keeping out the chill, I made my way across the parking lot to the small diner. I ordered four to go and grabbed some of whatever kind of pastries that they had lying around, kind of a typical breakfast thing with us.

I thought I might not be alone when I made my way back to the motel, but I was surprised to find that Dean wasn't out smoking and that the door to my room was still closed. Guess Danni finally wore him out, which was good because that boy could use some sleep.

I set the coffees down on the table, stripped off the jacket and slowly sat down in the corner, which gave me full view of Sam, who was now spread out all over the bed, and the door in case anything decided to come flying through but at this point, I wasn't sure what would dare to even try.

The wards were still up, which I was surprised at. We must have done them pretty good since not much last that long, especially when the magic goes, but as I looked around I could see the symbols that were left there. Wards against angels, demons, ghost and vampires... Vampires, all I can say to that is good luck getting by one of us again.

As I sat there in a daze, I tried not to think of the dream that had shocked me awake. Sammy, my Sammy was still in utero when I felt him, the vibration that he gave off even in the womb was amazing and I smiled at it as I glanced over at him. Mary had been so shocked.

Mary… I met their mother. A tear slid down my cheek as I tried to sniffle back the emotions but apparently I didn't work hard enough to cover them up because there was a light knock at the door before it softly opened. I hadn't bothered to close it completely, there was no need to let the lock engage, I knew he wasn't going to stay away too long.

Dean's eyes locked on mine as he entered the room, but they traveled to his brother, still silently sleeping on the bed before he picked the chair up and set it down directly in front of me, still keeping that vantage point so he could see both of us.

Biting down on his lip, he sat with his elbows on his knees, reaching his hands to touch my leg as he stared at the spot somewhere between him and I and he took a deep breath. I moved my hand from the table and placed it on top of his, but I didn't make the eye contact that I longed for, I just rested my chin on my fist and looked out the window.

I wondered if he could feel the emotions that ran through me, if he could see the memories, but at the same time, it didn't really seem to matter because the movement of his fingers brushing along my leg seemed to help keep me grounded, even as the tear slipped down my cheek.

Sam stirred on the bed, and I glanced over as he sat up, grabbed his jeans and slipped them on, before he stood and headed towards the bathroom. In the room next door, I could hear movement as Danni woke up and fished around for things that she needed to wear. The world was waking up and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep.

Dean's hand never moved as Sam came out of the bathroom. He stepped up to the table, kissed me softly on the forehead, slapped a gentle hand down on Dean's shoulder and reached for the coffee cup before he made his way over to the dresser and found a shirt.

Danni entered the room just as Sam yanked it over his head and she stopped in the doorway, blinked a few times in Sam's direction before she kissed Dean's temple a few times, smiled at me and grabbed the other coffee cup. I would have called this a strange interaction but at the moment, I didn't really care. Dean was keeping me grounded and it wasn't as if anything was going on.

With a deep breath, I moved, taking my hand away from Dean's as he sat up and finally made the eye contact we both needed. He took the coffee from the tray and stood, making his way over to where Danni stood against the dresser.

"So we're all here, now what?" Danni questioned.

"Now we wait," Dean whispered but his eyes came back to me and I shrugged.

"For what?" She spoke up again, "For that black-haired bitch to come at us again?"

"We wait for Cas," I whispered which got all of them to look at me.

"Cas?" Sam tilted his head just a little bit, "why Cas?"

"Dean and I cast the circle, but the rest of you helped with the warding, if I get the jist of it right, we need all of us, which includes Cas." It was the only answer I could come up with but part of me really wasn't sure why I needed the angel, in fact my thoughts were one the fact that Crowley had mention that is wasn't Dean that I needed at all.

"So, we're, what, back to sitting around on our asses again?" Danni huffed. I watched her glare at me, but there was something familiar in the way her eyes went back and forth from me to the man beside her and I suddenly knew what was going on. That familiar pull of light and dark was yanking her chain again and I tried not to smile at it. "What's so funny, Porter?"

"We could do it two ways, run headlong into it without backup or wait and see what the angel comes up with," I stood, slipping on Sam's coat again but my eyes stayed locked on hers, "your choice."

After a moment of silence, I gave them all a little nod and stepped out into the morning air. Knowing that there was no way the Impala would be unlocked, I raised my sights to the sky and leaned against the back bumper. Yeah I had popped out of her and into Sam's room but totally forgot all of my stuff, which included my clothes, so I waited, and I counted.

Five minutes, maybe just a little more before the door opened and the familiar sound of boots hit the ground, but I smiled because they weren't the set that normally followed me so closely. I closed my eyes as a hand slid up between my shoulder blades and rested on the back of my neck, before lips gently covered mine.

I hummed against his mouth as Sam's body moved to cover mine, pressing what he could against the car before I felt his other hand stroke across my hip and settle in the small of my back. His thumb danced over my jaw as he pulled me in close, leaving me breathless from the soft kiss when he backed away.

"Good morning," I whispered, not stopping the smile that rose from his gentle affections.

"Morning," he smiled back. I let my hands rest on his stomach, but slip around his waist as he let me rest my forehead against him. "One of these mornings, I'm not going to let you out of bed. You're not going to sneak off to get us coffee, and my brother won't be sitting in the room when I wake up."

"About that…" I started but he took a deep breath.

"Stop, right there." he said softly and I lifted my head, tilting back so I could look into his eyes. "I'm not saying anything bad about Dean, I get that he's protective, and I actually expect him to be sitting there every time I open my eyes, so don't think that I said that as a bad thing, I just… I just want you."

"You have me, Sam, you know that."

He leaned down, brushed my lips with his and sighed against me. "I know, more than anything, I know." he paused before he backed off again. "So what did you come out here for?"

"Clothes," I smiled as I pushed slightly on his hips, "unless you want me to go into this naked."

Sam thought for a moment, actually a very long moment that had me questioning what was going on in his mind but then he grinned and pulled the keys from his pocket before he looked down at me once again.

"Probably not a good idea with Dean there to go parading around naked."

I reached up to snatch the keys as I smiled, but he pulled them away. "Great minds think alike."

As Sam popped the trunk, I felt the pull on the tether and turned towards the doorway. Dean was standing there, cigarette in hand, but with his eyes narrowed at me. There was just something in the way he was staring that made me shiver and that feeling only got more intense as Sam stepped up behind me, let his lips come close to my skin and blew against me.

"Keep staring at him, neither of you are going to disappear." His mouth closed over the sensitive skin on my neck and I felt my heart jump.

"That's just it," I whispered. "I did disappear, last night, right out of the back seat of a moving car." I turned to Sam, bit down on my lip and took a breath as I moved my eyes up to meet his. "That's got to be terrifying to know, for both of you, that I could just think of a place and end up there without warning."

"I remember it from June, Ali, and you landed in my room, not in the middle of some dark alley with demons on your ass." Sam bent his knees, his hands resting against my waist, bringing those blue-green eyes to my level. "I have nothing but faith in your control, and before you say anything, I know that you don't, but for some reason, every part of me knows that you can handle this."

I placed my hand on his neck, just to feel the way his blood pumped through his veins and the steady rhythm seemed to ground me as my own heart started to race. I shook my head, tried everything I could to feel the control that he so desperately believed in but I couldn't grasp it.

"Hey," his voice seemed to penetrate everything and I found my eyes locked on his, "I know we both have a dark past, but Ali, you've always been my light. Things have been crazy, insanely crazy but I'm not giving up on us, ever. We'll make it through, we always do, somehow."

I took a deep breath, scanning over the emotions written all over his face, but he didn't wait for me to respond before his lips were brushing over mine, just a small gesture to make sure I knew he had my back, and my front, all of me, before he wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me in close.

"Sam," Dean's voice seemed to echo through me as Sam lifted his head, letting the morning light in. "Keys, man, the rest of us need to get dressed too."

"Yeah, sorry." The younger brother laughed and passed the keys to Dean, but it was the green-eyed man's gaze being locked on me that had me questioning what was really going on. Sam patted Dean on the shoulder, kissed me gently on the head and whispered in my ear. "I'll take your stuff in," I glanced at Sam, nodding but his eyes caught me as he winked, "try not to kill each other."

"Let me get right on that," I snarked and watched as he smiled, grabbed the bags and walked away, leaving me to stand with the bruting older man. I placed my hand on the fender of the car, my fingers curled around the metal so that Dean wouldn't just slam the trunk shut. I knew he was watching every movement I made, so there was no way he didn't see the placement. "Dean, about last night…"

"Don't," he whispered, grabbing the bag from the trunk, but he stopped before he reached up to take the keys out of the lock, "Ali, I knew things would go south the moment you took that stone out, hell I knew it before then when I saw that look in your eyes when you were telling me to wait for Cas, but you gotta know, you can't just do that kind of thing and expect me to be okay with it."

"I don't expect you to be okay with any of it, Dean," I sighed and turned fully towards him, moving my hand. He snatched the bag out of the trunk and closed it tightly, not slamming it, but definitely doing it with purpose. He positioned himself with his hip against the bumper and his arms crossed as he let the bag sit on top of the lid. I moved over, just to be a little closer and shook my head, stuffing my hands in my pockets to avoid the need to touch him. "I expect you to be you, don't you get that? I expect you to be the protective, overbearing ass that I know you are, the one that won't let me do anything stupid, that will cry foul when my idiot ideas include running full force into something there is no way we are walking away from, and I certainly expect you to want to tie me to a chair and keep me there until this is over."

"So what do you want me to do?" The look on his face told me he was truly pissed at the stunt that I had pulled. "You want me to say that you should run? That you should just hide away from this… this monster that's after you? Right, cause that worked so well up until now." He was the one that closed the distance, his arms crossed as he leaned down, making the eye contact that we shared literally a staring contest. "I don't get you, sometimes you are full-on manic about things, like saving people, saving us, but then you go on this trip about how we should run and let you face this crap alone. That isn't happening, Ali, you need to understand that, okay. There is no way I'm letting you walk in there alone, and the same goes for Sam and Danni. We're not going to let you go, not again."

"Then help me," I sighed, because his words were the only ones I wanted to hear. "I know you have been doing everything you can up until now, and I don't honestly know what you can do next, but I know I need you, I need you more than you will ever know, but I feel like I'm losing you."

His hands came up quickly, cupping my cheeks as the emotions filled me. For the first time in awhile, I felt lost, I couldn't phantom what I was supposed to do next. I moved my hands from my pockets, setting them gently on the back of his warm fingers as his thumb brushed over my cheeks.

"Never, understand me?" he whispered as he closed the distance, and all I could see was those bright green eyes. "You will never lose me, no matter how much of a pain in the ass you are. Ali, you're part of me, you always have been and nothing is going to change that."

I could feel the burning rush through me the more he held my face and I watched his eyes fill with confusion.

"What is that?" He could feel it through the tether, and I blinked back the fire as I tried to control it. "Ali, what was that?"

"I think the closer it gets, the more it ramps up in me." I sighed and leaned into his hands. Dean moved one of his palms, ghosted his fingers over the back of my neck and pulled me in, taking a deep breath as he held me against his chest. His arms around me helped block it but I knew there was nothing more that was going to keep it at bay.

"Okay, let's get inside, we can put up some sort of warding to at least give you some breathing space." Dean's voice was full of concern, but that wasn't what was getting me, it was the overwhelming itch to run, to move far away from him because no matter how much I needed to be close to them, to all of them right now, there was a power growing in each that made me just as afraid of them as it did the Tulpa.

The stream from the shower seemed hotter than it should have been and with closed eyes, I reached down and adjusted it just a little. Everything was hypersensitive, everything I touched seemed that much more and I had finally had enough.

Frustrated, I cranked it off, grabbed a towel and decided it was time to get out. I had washed off the stress of the day in the car, the quick jump to the rest area and the scent of Sam, which I wished I could keep, but knew that I could still feel him just by reaching out my hand when I entered the room once again.

Slipping on a clean pair of panties and a bra, I ran the comb through my hair and looked up at the fogged up mirror as I hopped into the skinny jeans I had pulled from my bag. The dark maroon Henley sat on the edge of the sink and with a sigh, I reached up and wiped my hand across the mirror.

As I looked deep into the eyes I knew so well, my own, I took a deep breath and blinked, but what I saw staring back was the blackened eyes of a demon before I blinked again and they were gone. Quickly I pulled the shirt on and looked up once again, but I didn't see me this time, I saw _her_ , with those bright red lips and those glowing blue eyes and she smiled at me just as the pain hit my heart.

I hit the floor harder than I thought I would, gasping for breath as my hand pressed against my chest, trying as hard as I could to breath through the invisible ice pick that I swore was trying to pierce it. My first thought, before the darkness threatened to take over was where are the others, she always goes for the others.

I fought the white stars that seemed to dot my vision and reached up for the handle, just as the shock of the pain edging deeper sent my lungs gasping for air, but I managed to turn the handle and stumble out onto the old carpeted floor.

I think I reached the bed before I was able to clear my head enough to reach out. Dean was my first thought, but I could hear his heartbeat along the tether line, almost sense him in the other room, Danni's light was like a warmth that flowed towards me but as I looked up, the power in me making the room fade from black to living color, I realized the awful empty feeling in my gut was real.

"SAM!" I screamed out, just as the door burst open and Dean stepped through. The tears burning in my eyes as he quickly moved to gather me up in his arms but I could feel the power building in me as my eyes flashed yet again. "No, Dean…"

"Not letting you go, Kid." He snapped, which nearly silenced me as I scanned the room. His hand came up to my face, stilling my movements as my eyes locked on his.

"Sam," I whispered, staring into his glowing green eyes, bright enough to see the light within him shining through.

Dean turned in the spot, his hand not leaving my cheek but he was suddenly aware of what I was trying to tell him and his head whipped around.

"SAM!" his deep voice screamed, the sound of it shook me to the core, but it flashed me back, and I felt Dean release me.

Visions seemed to bombard me, times through my life where I had run into Sam just as much as I had run into Dean.

When I was twelve, I found him sitting in a park, he was angry, he needed to get away, and he looked at me as if I had twelve heads when I sat down next to him on the bench and just stared into the nothingness with him. Sam finally got irritated enough to look at me, that bitchface plainly obvious even at a young age.

" _What are you doing?" He questioned, someone had definitely pissed in his Cheerios._

 _I turned to him, large bag of candy in my hand and smirked, still chewing away at the ones in my mouth and smiled at him before offering him the bag. "Skittles?"_

 _With a roll of his eyes, he reached over and sunk his hand in, which made me grin wider when he pulled some out and slid just a little closer._

Sam at sixteen was something I never thought I would want to see but he swung at the air, his brows creased together in anger and I watched his fist clench by his side as he closed his eyes. His knuckles were bleeding and I could see the dented door from where I had rounded the building.

The sound of him hitting it repeatedly was what had caught my attention. We were on a roadtrip and I wasn't even sure where we had stopped, but I knew I had to use the restroom and somehow ended up behind the building.

" _You shouldn't be back here." His voice sang as I stepped closer, the instant I heard it, I needed to see his face clearer, even as his hair hung down hiding his eyes._

" _You hurt yourself." I whispered softly, stopping no less than three feet from him. When he turned and looked at me, I was nearly in awe at the sea of blue and green that met my gaze and his expression slowly eased._

" _I," he paused, looking away from me to the blood on his hands, "I was angry. Did I scare you?"_

" _No," I said softly, and reached out to take hold of his long fingers, bringing them up so that I could look at the damaged he had done. "I've done it once or twice myself, but you should be more careful."_

" _Why?"_

 _I stepped up closer to him, and even at sixteen he was so much taller than me, but I got up on my tiptoes and whispered the best I could. "Hunters are always needed, especially ones that look like you."_

 _I slowly turned and walked away, leaving him there, clenching his hand for a completely different reason than anger this time._

There was one time, only one time that he didn't see me, that we didn't talk, and it was probably the one time I would like to never remember again.

The rain came down in sheets, nearly making visibility impossible, but it didn't stop me from pulling off the highway for a coffee, of all the stupid things in the world. Yep, another road trip, another ride home, or away, some sort of escape, but that was when I saw the man across the parking lot.

I watched him get out of his car, take a few weary steps forward and suddenly go down, squatting in front of the headlights. I saw his hand come up, wipe the tears from his eyes, and I knew that face, I knew those bright eyes, but they were sad, filled with pain and he placed his hand over his mouth.

I wanted to go to him, to wrap him in my arms, to protect him but I stopped and just stood there in the pouring rain and watched. He closed his eyes, took a moment to collect himself but it didn't help. He thought he was alone, thought no one was watching, and it came out. Anger, sadness, loss, it all poured out of him with the tears, but the rain washed them away, like cleaning the slate and after a moment of shattered emotions, I watched with curiosity as he regained his composure, took a deep breath in and closed his eyes.

The door to the convenience store opened and an older man walked out, carrying coffee and a bag before he stepped over in the direction of the car, and the man who crouched in front of it.

" _Sam, what the hell man, it's pouring out, what are you doing?" his voice was familiar, this new addition but I couldn't place it either._

" _Ah, checking the tires, one felt a little low." The one I had seen pour his soul out in the rain answered quickly, stood and pushed his hair back. "It's good."_

" _Good, come on, you're going to get sick!" The older one scolded and I watched as both of them climbed into the car. It wasn't even a memorable vehicle, just something you saw every day, but as they put it in reverse and drove away, I couldn't help but feel I had missed out on something important. Something that would have changed everything._

I felt myself fall to the floor, landing on my ass as I suddenly had every memory of the boys fly at me at once, not only them but Danni as well and then Crowley's voice invaded my thoughts, he made so much more sense now. Everything was so clear.

" _You need to get over your need for Dean Winchester and look at the bigger picture, Pet, not everything revolves around him."_

I felt the anger then, the way that the blood in me started to boil, and I felt the power pulse through me. Crowley was right, not everything was about Dean, but it never was just about any of them, it had to do with all of them. All the major player in my life were at one point in time part of me that I couldn't remember.

His words filtered in again: " _You were a thousand times more protected before this, before we made contact again. You don't know what I've done to keep you protected, Angel, you will never know how much I sacrificed to keep the darkness away."_

The darkness, he was protecting me from the darkness, so why was it just what I needed right now, to feel the power flowing through me. She had Sam, _my_ Sam and I was about to do anything necessary to get him back. With the burst of anger came the cold rush of pain to my chest and I watched as Dean moved towards me again, this time taking me by the arms and I reached up and grabbed his shirt, but I could only see the bright outline of his body, felt the heat flash across my eyes.

"Reign her in Ali," he spoke sternly, and my body shook at the sound of him. "It's not going to help Sam if you go off the rails."

"She took him," I whispered, or at least I think I whispered, the words sounded so foreign. "She has him, Dean, and she's hurting him."

"I get it, and I want nothing more than to gank the bitch," he replied, getting down to my level as he placed both palms on my cheeks, holding me still so that I had no choice but to look him in the eyes, "but you need to get your demon under control before we have two problems to deal with."

I knew he was right, knew that I had to keep it in check in order to think clearly enough to do something about the fact that this monster had Sam and as I stared into Dean's eyes, the answer appeared as a glowing light just behind him. Shifting a little to the left, I watched as Danni walked into the room, her face full of frustration, sadness and just the right amount of anger.

I remembered the two of us standing in the circle, God Killer blades in hand, Zane between us and without a word, I knew what she was thinking, and with just a smile, she knew what I wanted to do next.

My eyes focused once again on Dean, and I gave him that grin, that one small turn of my lips.

And then I whispered. "I have an idea."


	108. DH Remembrance - 42

**Chapter 42**

How much you wanna risk?

Dean's face was classic Winchester, completely dumbfounded until he gave his head a little shake, glanced over at Danni and then back at me, locking my eyes on his.

"Wait," he blinked a few times, "I say lock it down and that gives you an _idea_? Should I be afraid?"

If there was one person alive that could make me smile in the midst of agonizing pain, it would be Dean Winchester, but just as I breathed a sigh of relief, the power flashed again and I winced as the pick seemed to drive further down.

"Not unless you're a tulpa." I sighed as I grasped the bed, releasing the man in front of me and pushed up on the plush material, but the weakness made the room spin making me close my eyes tightly.

I couldn't seem to catch my breath, which was growing hard to capture with every beat of my heart and even though I knew that Dean was standing less than a foot away, there was nothing he could do for me. I blinked, trying to orientate myself but it didn't seem to make the room less of a merry-go-round and Dean's hand grasped my arm to steady me.

"What do you need?" He whispered, his breath close to my ear, his heat radiating towards me. How could I say that I needed him to step away because the demon inside only saw him as a temptation but the pull in me just wanted him so much closer.

"Cas," I whispered and felt my knees go out. So much for getting up and moving my happy ass into something productive. The flutter of his wings brought the warmth of his light into the room and with the three of them there, the weakness in my body lessened especially as Cas slowly crouched down in front of me. I sighed at him, as he reached out and ran his fingers under my jaw. "I'm sorry to ask, because you've done so much for me."

"I would always do anything for you, Ali," his voice was soft, and I smiled because I wanted to say it was almost as if an angel was whispering, which was completely insane because one was.

"It's not going to be pretty or easy, but I need you to be into it." I sighed, tilting my head into the feeling of his fingers. "It's going to hurt like a bitch."

"What the hell are you going to do with him?" Danni barked from behind the two men and I slowly raised my eyes to her.

"Something you're not strong enough for, and I wish you were Dan, I really do, because I could use all the help I can get." I replied. It came out harsh, too harsh and I wanted to take the words back as soon as I said them but she needed to know the truth, she wasn't strong enough just yet, but I knew she would get there. "This is just not something you're ready for, but I could use something else though."

Danni gave me the oddest look, as my eyes closed slightly. Why did I want to sleep? Why did I just want to fade into the darkness, but her small, chilled hands lightly touched my cheek as I felt both men step back and I forced them open. The power flashed across my eyes, I could see it, and they were magnificent balls of light, of energy… of something good, but they were surrounded by my darkness and I doubled over against her hold as the pain shot through me again.

I don't remember what Cas was whispering to her as his angelic figure leaned down behind her ear, whispering instructions, but it was the man that stood in the background, the one with the light that swirled through his body, touching every vein. A mimic of Sam's red outline, but this was a bright blue-white light, and I watched as he crossed his arms.

Images of the man flashed in my head, so completely clear that I wasn't sure if they were my memories or just something that was projected at me, but I saw him, really saw Dean the way my heart did. The first time I spotted him at the diner gave me a description of him, it didn't tell me who he was, it didn't let on what I needed to know about him, the connection didn't click.

It was when he stood above me, the vampire's head rolling on the ground and I stared into his green eyes, his drawn lips and the fierceness that he defended his brother, that look, that protective look turned on me as he looked down. It was just a split second, one that you miss in the moment, but his breathing was even, the hand that held the machete was relaxed and he spun the handle between his fingers, but he looked over my face, all the way down to the hand that held pressure on his brother, and I watched as he took in the injury. Those lips parted, as his eyes jumped back to mine, suddenly full of fear for only a second before he blinked and moved towards his brother. The sound of Sam's name leaving his lips was breathless.

Light filled my eyes as I blinked backed the memory only to be assaulted with another one.

" _I have to go,"_ I whispered to him, but he reached down and took my arm, this was after we were able to get Sam semi-stable, the towels and wrap pressing on his wound, keeping the bleeding down, but I remembered the feeling of his hand on my skin, the way his fingers felt as if they danced a crossed it. His eyes were locked on mine, those green orbs were commanding but shocked, as if he might know the warmth that I was feeling at his touch. I watched his mouth, noticed the little movement, confusion in his words as the trust seemed to come to his eyes.

" _I'm sorry," he had said to me, in a voice that was firm but quiet, "but I can't let you go."_

The vision switched again and his eyes looked up at me questioningly from the little slip of paper in his hand, he was completely curious, like I was the most baffling thing he had ever met but his voice was deep with just the right amount of sarcasm.

" _Where the hell am I supposed to find silk thread?"_

" _The craft aisle," I replied but the way he held in his frustration nearly killed me._

" _Lady, do I look crafty to you?"_

" _Ali," I answered, because "lady" was too much, but it sparked something in his eyes when I said it, "my name is Ali."_

I felt him in the next one, the first time his arms wrapped around me was stuck in my memory, the way he held tight, arms holding me up even as the darkness threatened to take me over.

" _Easy there, wild child, no need to put yourself on the floor," but those words weren't the only thing that kept me standing, it was the strange vibration that came from him being so close._

Jealousy had always been something I rarely understood, but the first time his protective streak shined through was at the car, before the arrows flew. I stood beside him, my eyes locked on his brother as Sam leaned against the Impala, but it was Dean's huff that caught my attention.

" _He's not going to disappear and he can take care of himself."_

Why didn't I catch on before that, why didn't I really see it then?

Even when he confessed, there was still that little need that bothered both of us, that tugged us together, something that would continue to grow, but the first time he said it, why didn't it register?

" _You have feelings for Danni, that's great, it's amazing, I mean… but I still don't get what it has to do with me?" I was so lost, so confused and so was he._

" _I need you," he sighed, and the sound of it was as if he were letting out the biggest revelation he had ever had. "I need to know you're safe."_

The demon nearly killed me as the memory went dark and I could feel the way that things just seemed to fade from my mind, like something was blocking me, blocking my light. I could feel his hands on me, holding me up as the darkness threatened to take me again, Zane was playing with my heart and Dean was at the center of it.

" _Dean, please," it was all I could do to whisper, "stop."_

" _Not a chance in hell, stopping means he gets you, and I'm not going to let that happen," his voice was like a power onto its own, something that grounded me, that kept me going. "I need you, Kid, and I'm not letting go."_

 _He gave me the will to fight, to keep going, and I heard the soft growl of my own words, "then finish it."_

The visions seemed to stop, blackness taking over and then all I heard were the words, Dean's words in his voice, still reverberating in my head, still pushing me to fight.

" _Stop with the death wish, stop with the anger, and stop assuming I want you dead! I need you Ali, as much as I need Danni and Sam, I need you!"_

" _I don't hate you, Ali, I hate that I couldn't save you from this, from having to be the one to do this. I wish you would understand…" the pinprick of light held on in the distance, just long enough for his words to come through, "I love you."_

I didn't see it, not until it was almost too late. No matter what I did, he didn't leave my side, no matter how bad everything got he was always there for me, like Sam, like Danni… like Cas. Dean was tethered to me way before June. He kept me grounded with his anger, his nature and I almost lost it so many times, but this time I wasn't going to let the darkness take over, I wouldn't allow it.

The light at the end of the darkness seemed to come just a little closer and I felt a warm hand on my cheek, his hand. I could see his eyes burrowing into my soul, that was the moment that sealed everything, that one little moment that felt so long ago.

" _I meant what I said Dean," was what my voice whispered._

" _So did I." he replied, but that deep sound didn't seem to come from inside my memories anymore, it came from somewhere else, somewhere just on the edge of my thoughts. "I love you, nothing's going to change that, and nothing is going to come between us." They were just words, like he was talking to himself, or talking out loud to me, "when this is over, when we finish this, you and I, we're going to figure out us."_

I almost felt the brush of his lips against mine, the rush of feelings that came with it and every time I told him to stop, it was because I wanted to do it more. I needed him more, not in a sexual way, not like Sam, but the connection had grown so deep that every little touch seemed to just make the need a little deeper.

I could feel the heat of the light as it rushed at me, burning through the darkness, coming at me with every memory that filled my thoughts, with every emotion. I felt him. And just as it began to burn through my vision, I reached out along the connection and listened to the rhythmic thump of his heartbeat in my ear.

"Dean," I breathed softly, about the same time his mind screamed out for his brother.

" _SAM!"_ It echoed out into the vastness, but it bounced back like a beacon and I knew just what I needed to do.

The feeling was something that I had only experienced once before, when I delved into projection to lead the others to where Zane was creating his army but this time I wasn't alone on my plane. I floated above him as he fell forward, his hand locked down on me, his fingers gripping on my arm as my eyes stared up at my astral form, bright bluish-white, like the grace of the angel beside me, and Danni backed away.

Cas leaned over the unconscious Winchester, gently shaking him, his hand on Dean's cheek. He whispered to him, some sort of angelic phrase, maybe a prayer in Enochian but it wasn't something I understood, and that was just before he looked up at me. UP not over, his eyes locking on my position above them before I was suddenly jetting off across the town.

The path was familiar but this time I could feel the mind of my companion, whether he was consciously or unconsciously aware of what was going on didn't register but I could hear his heartbeat in my ear. The steady sound of it was grounding.

 _Cas,_ I whispered, feeling him try to block Dean as the thump of it started to fade. _Block the pain, but don't take him, I need him._

 _Ali?_ Dean's voice was weak but still at the edge of my thoughts as my feet touched down in the same building, no the same room, that Zane had Dean in.

 _Hold on, Dean, just for a a few minutes, I know where we are._ I pleaded with him, needed that connection, wanted him to keep the strength going.

I opened my eyes, watched the symbol below my feet shimmer in this strange astral plane before I followed the line up to the quiet length of the man that lay there. I could see Sam from where I stood, his hand and feet loose, no bonds holding him in anyway, but he was beaten and bloody, definitely unconscious.

Dean's anger flowed along the edge and I tried sending him soothing thoughts, letting him know that I could sense the younger man's… energy, could you call it that? His body let off this slow pulse that seemed to make my heart skip the closer I got.

I edged up the line, realizing that I was following the southwestern line of the Devil's trap, towards the man in the middle. I could feel Dean jumping, wanting more than anything to get to Sam, but I held him back, kept him buckled down, until I stopped dead and my eyes moved from Sam's still form to the woman who stepped out of the darkness. NO not stepped, sashayed like she was the hottest thing since sliced bread and she smiled at me with bright red lips.

Dean growled in my ear, sending shivers through my body.

 _Easy, tiger._ I whispered towards that spark at the edge of my thoughts and while I could almost feel him puff up, like he was sticking out his chest, posturing like an invisible man, I also felt him ease back.

I watched her for a moment as she made her way forward but I stayed my ground, within a yard of Sam. She looked me over, those bright blue eyes taking in everything that I was and I felt the power flash through me, a mix of me, Dean, and Danni and slowly the smile faded. A cruel angry grimace crossed her face, and she reached out her hand, clenched her fist and sent me flying back.

I got to my feet, lowered my eyes as I felt the heat flow down to my fingers, as if Dean were standing right behind me, his body solidly against mine and he took my hand within the palm of his. With a cruel grin forming on my lips, I raised it slowly, my eyes following the movement and pushed every ounce of power I had towards the woman in black.

Ever see those slow motion shows, the ones like the Matrix where they do these moves and the person bends all the way back at the knees, top of their head touching the floor behind them. Yep, that's what she did and it was creepy, because when the flash of it stopped kicking her ass she bounced back like a kids punching bag.

She sent out a wave of her own, knocking me square in the stomach. Yeah, I had hurt her but this was too much, she was so much more powerful, but the way she hit me gave me insight into what she could do because it felt like she was using all that she had. I stayed my ground just long enough to see where she was, just outside the circle. _Outside_ the lines, and I stashed that in the back of my head for future reference before she socked me with another assault, this time it hurt like a bitch.

The feeling of being pushed off the line, out of the circle sent the icy feeling straight to the center of my heart and I heard myself scream, though it seemed detached and distant, but my eyes opened wide and I stared at Cas, before my eyes lowered to Danni's. She looked as exhausted as I felt as her hands fell away and I turned my gaze to the fluttering eyes of the man on the floor.

Dean took a quick deep breath, as if he had been denied the oxygen for so long and he turned in the spot to look up at me. Quickly on his knees, his hands went straight to my face. The darkness had faded just a bit, it didn't flash through me, in fact, I felt a little off but I knew where Sam was and I knew what condition he was in.

I lowered my eyes from those green ones that tried so hard to check me over, I didn't want him to see the anger in me, feel that darkness anymore. He had been too close to it, but when he pressed his thumb under my chin and gave me a nudge to tilt my head back, all I could do is take a deep breath and look at him.

"We'll get him back," he whispered softly, wanting more than anything to believe his own words, but he had seen how bad off his brother was, and how strong the monster that held him could be.

"Are you hurt?" I questioned, which made him smile as he pushed my hair back from my face, cupping my cheek as he kissed my forehead.

"No," it was soft and just enough to convince me that he was alright before he pulled me into his arms. His warmth surrounded me with a feeling of safety but when I looked at Cas, I felt what the angel had done, what he has helped Danni accomplish and my eyes lit up, the room around me began to glow. Dean shivered as the light flowed through our connection. "Ali?"

"She's got Sam at the warehouse," I informed Cas, but heard Dean's low growl as my ear pressed against his chest.

"You're not strong enough, Ali," Cas warned, which was fine, he was telling the truth and I loved that because I knew there was no way I was going to defeat her on my own, not without help, which is why my eyes landed on Danni with a smile.

"We don't have to be stronger to stop her, we just have to be smarter."

It wasn't three hours later, three long hours that took too much of my time to think about, and I was standing in the doorway of the open room once again, this time live and in living color. I was alone, but not… if that makes any sense. I could hear Dean from where I stood, feel Cas from where he watched and Danni's light seemed to shimmer from the direction she was taking. I was in no way _alone_.

With a deep breath, I stepped into the darkness, glanced up at the lights and reached over, flipping on the switch to illuminate the room. My heart skipped and my breath caught as I looked at the man who lay on the hard concrete floor. His breathing was even, which meant he was either out or not in too much pain, my initial thought was to go with the first option but I didn't reach out for him didn't want to get a response that might make the tulpa jump before everything was in place.

We had a plan, probably not the most well laid one but with Sam in trouble, I didn't want one without holes in it, I needed one that I could move around, shuffle pieces but there was absolutely one thing I did need out of this train-wreck of a move, I needed to be able to get to _him._

The lights seemed to spark as I moved closer, one step at a time and my first thought was when Cas made his entrance onto the show, sparks flying and barn doors opening wide. Yeah that was badass, and totally my angel, but this was something altogether different, this was our power, our time and we were up against something that none of us really knew about.

A thought-form with the ability to shift, to become the monsters that we fought, without having any clue as to where it might have came from in the first place besides the symbol mixed into Asmodeus' little devil's trap for his offspring. I kicked myself for that, I really did, for not looking closer at the symbol but there was something interesting about it now. I wondered if he had this planned all along.

I stopped at the edge of the trap, my hand going to the handle of the blade that was strapped to my side. Yep, the spectrum had followed me right into battle again, and this time she had a purpose. With a deep breath, eyes on Sam, and feelers out to the rest of the group, I raised my right hand, one that pulsed with power instead of the heat of the pebble and held it directly over the line of the circle. I watched it shimmer under me, but otherwise remain invisible.

I looked down smiling and raised a brow as I whispered, "manufesto."

Watching the magic start just below my hand, a bright orange light began to travel, like a row of dominoes being knocked over in waves, it moved in either direction, traveling around the circle that Dean and I so carefully laid, but as soon as it hit the points of the star, it traveled up them as well. Once the lines connected the sigils inside them started to glow and finally, I watched it all come together, all connect under Sam's still unmoving body.

I heard clapping as it hummed with the power that I set forth and slowly, my eyes moved to look at the woman, the monster who stepped from the darkness. Her heels clicked on the floor, and she squared her shoulders as she stopped at the other end of the circle.

"Finally," she whispered, "after so much difficulty, you remembered."

"I don't know what you were hoping to accomplish with all that remember crap that you kept pushing at me. The only thing it did was show me a past that included the men that were already in my life." I shrugged.

"It gave you so much more than that," she shrugged, "or didn't you notice."

"I noticed that the four of us were in the same place a whole lot more than we ever thought. I noticed that no matter what we did, we always seemed to know who the other one was and that we were connected. Sort of like now, so was I supposed to figure out something else out?" I looked at her just a bit confused as she smiled.

"It was always a hunt, or when you were alone, or involved John, the very man who sent you on this path to begin with."

"So, that was kind of expected." I was waiting for the big reveal. "Wanna give me something that I didn't pick up on?"

"I watched you every time it happened." Okay, this I got a kick out of.

"You watched me?" I smiled, and shook my head. "You watched me touch Mary's stomach and hold Dean's hand, offer Skittles to the boy with the anger in his eyes, watched the self-hatred fall way when I touched his bloody hand, the smile when we looked at each other across the hood or when I called Dean names for dropping a package of eggs on me? You watched that? Okay, so I'll bite, where were you?"

"I was in your mind, I was controlling what you remembered, what you didn't. Did you honestly think that the little potion I gave John to make Dean forget was the only way of keeping you safe? And how did it work on you if the boy was the only one taking it?"

Wait… I blinked at her, kind of dumbstruck for just a second. She gave John the potion. No! That wasn't right, my grandmother gave it to him. I tried to process everything but there wasn't time as I watched her make her way around the circle, careful not to step into it, another little thought to store away.

My eyes went straight to her, ignoring everything that she had said. "Where is my grandmother's grimoire?"

"Right where it should be, Alison." Her voice, it was so familiar all of a sudden, so much like one I used to know.

My breath caught as I thought back to a memory of John, a memory of me sneaking down the stairs and my heart nearly leapt out of my chest. John's voice echoed in my ear.

" _They saw each other, Doris, they touched and it's already started," he growled at my grandmother. "Dean hasn't stopped asking about her since the river, so whatever the hell you have to do to stop it, do it now."_

" _It's not something that I did, John, it's written in the stars."_

"Gram?" I whispered and looked at the woman before me. I wondered why she looked so familiar, even from the first time I saw here, I thought I was looking at me, that this face was something that I had dreamt up but it wasn't the case, I was looking at a younger version of my grandmother. "Why? Why did you do this? All of this?"

"You were meant for so much more, like I told John, it was written in the stars, you and Dean, but he wanted to stop it, he wanted to make it different, to keep you away from each other, and now," she looked back at Sam, "now you've gone and fallen in love with that one? I can't let that happen, you are destined for so much more. The younger one wasn't meant for you, he was meant for your cousin."

"For Danni?" I blinked, searching her out, knowing she was listening, but then I thought of Dean's words. You can't help who you feel in love with, no matter the connection to the other and that was just it, that was what made us so strong. We loved who we needed too. I needed Sam, Danni needed Dean and what the two of us had together just built up the walls a little bit higher. I looked at her, at the younger version of my grandmother and gave her a little shake of my head. "So you tried to change it, tried everything to make it the way you wanted it to be. The God Killer blades? Was that something you came up with too?"

"You and Danni were destined for those blades, a prophecy that our line tried to make come true for generations, but you did the one thing that we never expected you to do. You made them all forget." Doris, Grandma, was fast approaching and I was still looking at Sam. "You see, you never saw the other half of that whole fiasco, which I admit Crowley botched just as much as you did. He wasn't supposed to help you know, he was supposed to keep you safe until the time came to help you unleash the powers but he wasn't supposed to care about you."

"Care about me? I'm sorry, have you met Crowley?" I laughed, and felt the tug on the tether, feeling Dean approaching, his anger flowing through me.

"Oh yes, and before you, before Danni, he didn't have a speck of protectiveness in him. It's why we called him, you know. He was just a demon on a mission, one that wanted nothing but power." She was spouting off stuff now and I was kind of relieved since I needed the distraction to think about what to do next since, you know how the most well-laid plans go.

"You didn't know we had met before, did you?" I smiled at this. She had never known about Crowley's interaction with my father at the Gun Shop, she had no idea he had claimed me as his own before she summoned him to the fire. Hold on, yep, my brain just kicked into gear. "That's why he came to you, no questions asked. That's why he was so eager to get involved with this. You didn't have a clue."

"That he had staked a claim, no, not at that point." Ramble on, old woman, I just needed a few more minutes. "He didn't even give a hint that he knew anything about you, or your link to the Winchesters, not until he came to claim what was his."

"Probably even put it in the contract that previous interactions didn't make it null and void, didn't he." Oh, how I smiled at the King of Hell now. He told me I was a thousand times more protected before all of this started and now I knew why. "So what now? Are you expecting to bring back the God Killers, to ignite the powers by what, changing up the chemistry? Switching Danni to Team Sam, come on, you know us right? The four of us? You know that's not going to happen."

"No, I'm done playing this little game," she sighed and would it be wrong to hope it was exactly what I was counting on. My grandmother was never one for frustration, especially when it turned all her plans upside down. "You belong to Dean, so I think I'm just going to kill this one and get him out of the way."

"Sorry, Gram," I grinned as I stepped over the line, bringing everything I had into the circle and I watched her eyes grow wide, because for some reason she just didn't expect me to put myself in a devil's trap, being that the demon side of me was rearing its ugly head. I pulled the blade from its sheath and twirled the handle in the palm of my hand. "That's just not going to happen."

I would have heard her scream, if the sound hadn't been so damn loud, but as I brought the spectrum up, wrapped both hands around it and brought it plunging down into the concrete, the sonic boom that it made when the tip connected with the stone was so overpowering that it shook the whole room. Power blasted out from that one spot, right where the edge cracked the tulpa sigil in half as the blade buried itself deep within the fibers underneath my feet.

When I raised my eyes from the sparks as the power drained from the sigil, I watched the anger spread to those bright blue eyes. She was beyond pissed but her magic seemed to wane just a bit. I moved from my blade, leaving it sticking out of the ground, like the sword in the stone and I backed up to where Sam lay.

She was seething, her teeth clenched as she watched me and when I crouched down by his head, when I felt the warmth of his body as my hand lay on his cheek, she growled. I didn't care, I was inside the circle and she was out, so I sat down on the cold floor, trapped by my own doing and I pulled Sam close, resting his head on my lap as I ran my hand through his hair.

I thought I had lost all of the magic once inside the trap, but the more I traced his features the more I felt the white light of Danni and Cas flow through me and I thought back to the room, to the plan that we had come up with three hours before.

Sitting on the floor trapped between the ends of the bed and the dressers, not any farther from the spot that I had fallen, the four of us stared down at the folded piece of paper that I had pulled from my pocket.

"This?" Dean questioned, his voice in that _I can't believe you're even suggesting this_ kind of tone that made me give him just a crooked smile, "you're going up against a Tulpa, one with enough power to kick your astral ass and this is what you're going with?"

"I'm sorry to say," Cas spoke up, "he has a point."

"Would you guys give me two seconds to explain?" I rolled my eyes and glanced at Danni. "A little help here?"

"You're kidding right?" She snarked, "I'm with them, I think you're a little off your rocker."

"Okay, seriously, I just wanna get Sam back, and it's the only way I know how to do it." I shrugged.

"By trapping yourself inside the circle with a blade?" Dean shook his head. "I should just knock your ass out and go in alone."

"You can't do that," I warned and took a deep breath. "Listen according to the paper, the tulpa sigil needs to be destroyed, we all know that, it's in the lore, but with the fact that this one is attached to a devil's trap, we have to go at it a whole different way, and if I'm right, it will power it down, not destroy it."

"Okay, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you know something you're not letting us in on," Danni spoke up.

"Well, I'm not positive, but I don't think this particular thought-form came from any of us." I sighed.

"Really?" Dean growled. "It's only been attacking you since the jump but you don't think it came from, say… you?"

"No, it's been too erratic, and the memories, they're off." I looked up at him as his knee brushed my thigh, his little way of staying connected, and his eyes locked on mine. "Think about it. My memories came back, Sam knew about everything, including Danni, way before you did, Danni had them already but just not the feeling behind them, so why did she save you for last? Why keep you out of the loop? That's not me, I went to you first because I needed too, I needed you to know because I knew you would either tell me I was off the wall and send me home or you would get it. If it _was_ me, you would have had the whole lock, stock and barrel right from the go, but you didn't."

"No, it waited," he snapped and suddenly got the point, "it waited until there was no choice but to give it to all of us."

"So see, totally not me." I grouched and reached up, grabbing the spectrum off the bed. Unsheathing it, I placed it on the floor between us and looked up at Cas. "Remember when I said I needed you for something and it might hurt like a bitch?"

"Vividly," he mumbled.

"She needs something a little extra, Cas, something that will break through stone, something that can destroy a mark in the midst of something very powerful." I looked down at the blade, knew all the protection spells on it, but I knew it needed more.

"You want me to power up your blade?" My eyes snapped up to his.

"I need you to give it everything you got."

Cas took a deep breath, reached out with his hand and picked the blade up from the floor. He rested the cold steel across his palms and closed his eyes, concentrating on the item he held, but just as the light began to glow around the blade, I saw the grimace of pain spread across his face.

It was sealed against angels, demons and anything supernatural, so in order to give it the strength to break a spell, Cas had to break down the ones on it, which meant enduring the pain that came with it. I felt my heart start to race, I knew there was nothing I could do to help him but just as I thought he had gotten to his limit, that he had enough, his eyes opened wide, blazing with the bright white light of his grace and all I remember was a flash and the warmth of his soul before the room went dark.


	109. DH Remembrance - 43

**hapter 43**

To save myself from falling

The light came back to me, and I found myself still sitting in the warehouse, Sam's head on my lap, but the light, it flowed through me, flowed to him and I watched with a smile as it burned under my fingers. His wounds healed, his bruises faded and I felt him stir, his cheek brushing my leg as I looked up at the wicked face of the woman outside the circle.

"That's not possible." she growled and paced along the line. Apparently, a lot of things weren't supposed to be possible.

"I said that when this whole thing started," I whispered, looking down as Sam's eyes slowly opened. "This wasn't supposed to happen at all, this wasn't supposed to happen to me." Those oceans locked on mine. "I wouldn't change it for the world."

"Ali," he whispered, his voice just this side of weary and I took a deep breath. He sat up, looked around the circle and he focused on the woman just outside of it. "What the hell is going on?"

"Sam, meet my grandmother," I smirked and watched the anger fill his eyes. He made it up to his knees and brought his hands to my face, fingers ghosting over my skin as they came to rest just behind my ear, his thumb grazing over my cheeks.

"This is not safe," he breathed softly and I nodded.

"I know," I licked my lips, the power that was leftover from when Cas and Danni had used their magic to keep the darkness at bay was slowly fading and I could feel the heat begin to turn within my veins. "We need to get you out of here."

"No," he shook his head, not anything that I wouldn't have expected from him, he was a Winchester after all. "We need to get us out of here, I'm not leaving you."

"Typical man," I snarked, "do I look like a damsel in distress to you?"

He wasn't at all happy with the fact that I was joking and his face told me so, but it slowly changed to one of recognition, to one that understood just what I was doing and his lips quickly descended upon mine as I leaned into his kiss.

Doris roared again, the impatient bitch was still stuck outside the circle but the sound tore Sam away as he looked over at her. In a whisper, he came close enough to my ear to feel the heat of his breath.

"Where's Dean?" And I thought I heard him growl. Did he really think his brother would have let me walk into this unprepared or alone for that matter and I pulled back but only winked. I wasn't sure if she was listening but I knew one thing, she wasn't getting in on the plan. "I'm going to kick his ass."

"Hmm, that sounds like fun," I winked and turned towards the woman, "do you think we could finish her off first?"

Sam's gaze moved over to her and I watched the cold anger form on his face. This was the Sam I knew, the dark hunter that became cold and calculated at the thought of fighting a monster. It was the one reason he was so afraid to touch, to let go, because he didn't think that cold capability stopped after the hunt was done, but I knew better, I knew just what he was able to do, how in control he was.

"Gladly," he replied, a deep throated growl that made every part of me tingle. He stood, pulling me to my feet as he did the same but when he went to move out of the center of the trap, I held him back. He looked down at me curiously, but all I gave him was just a little shake of my head.

 _Cas_? I whispered, glancing around for the angel. _This is going to get real ugly, really quick if she's not contained. How do I do that? I can't get out and Sam… if Sam steps over that line, she has him again._

Sam's expression told me he knew just what was going on. It was the same look that Dean got when he was talking to the angel, but this hunter didn't like to be in the dark, not on this and I squeezed his hand the best I could.

"Come with me," Cas' voice spoke up from behind us and Sam whipped around to look at the blue eyes of the black-haired man. Sam took a deep breath, not sure what to do but all I did was raise a brow. There was a plan, I swear there was, and as he huffed out, Cas reached up and the two of them disappeared.

"Looks like you're all alone now," Doris snarked as she crossed her arms, those boots making an annoying noise along the concrete and I shook my head.

"You should know that you're never alone when you're tied to someone, I mean, you made sure of that, right." I shrugged as I moved closer to the line once more, following her movement as I matched her steps. "Making sure that Dean and I were connected, hell, I'm sure even the tether was your idea somehow."

"No, that one I can't take credit for," she grinned, "but imagine my surprise when I found out that Dean Winchester had linked his life to you even more than it already was."

"It was supposed to be Sam."

"A lot of things were supposed to be Sam, didn't you notice?" She laughed, "supposed to be but instead they became Dean. Sam was supposed to save you from the vampires, but he didn't, Dean did. Sam was supposed to keep you safe from the demons, but Dean did. Sam was supposed to love you, need you, be your soulmate, but he wasn't… Dean was."

"I refuse to get into a debate with you on what Sam does or doesn't do, in fact, I refuse to get into it at all with you, on either man, but what I would like to know is why? Why are you doing this? Why insert yourself into a spell in a 500-year-old book? Why create the tulpa?"

She stopped to look at me and smiled, "angels."

"All of this BS, and you're going with angels?" I laughed, "what exactly does angels have to do with any of this?"

"When you made your little deal with Castiel, he needed help, lots of help, didn't Gadreel tell you? He had to go to other angels to get the power he needed, he even had to go to Death to make sure that you didn't end up where you weren't supposed to, so who do you think they looked to when they needed that kind of power?" She grinned like she had just won the lottery, and I rolled my eyes, shook my head and hoped that everyone had everything locked down so we could get on with this. "There was one little problem with the deal."

"What, you didn't get your AARP membership on time?"

"They botched the way the boys remembered John's death." This stopped me in my tracks.

Sam said it was brutal, that he was the one that had to do it, that it was all him and not Dean but what did that mean to her, how did they botch it?

"Sam was supposed to hate his brother after that, Dean was meant to come in at the end and try to stop him, but it never happened, Dean and Sam may have gone their separate ways but the brothers didn't hate each other, they didn't despise each other enough to keep you from seeking out the other when you came looking."

"Okay, so you give them the idea of making John's death a thousand times worse just so Dean would keep me from Sam?" I smiled, crossed my arms and shook my head. "That's pretty freaking low. And let me guess, it was all because I was meant to be with Dean?"

"It was…"

"If you say _written in the stars_ one more freaking time, I swear I'm going to take your eyes out with a damn spoon!" I growled and watched her just snicker. "You obviously don't get how this whole family thing works."

"And you do?" She laughed, "wanting one brother, having the other, and oh yes, throwing a little angel in on the side. My, my Alison, I really did raise you right."

"You didn't raise me at all, in fact, the most you ever did for me was summon a demon that gave me the very knowledge I need to kick your ass right here and now, Grandma!" I barked at her and watched as she rushed at me. This was what I was waiting for because she was so distracted by the anger, she forgot about the line and just as she was about to wrap her hands around my throat, I grabbed her wrists and pulled her across the line.

She screamed in pain as she entered the devil's trap but it didn't slow her down any. And so began our dance. She swung, I ducked, she weaved, I countered, we each got our blows in but there was no clear winner. In fact it wasn't until I felt the others enter the room that I had any thoughts of looking away but I felt the pull as Dean watched, his usual steady beat thumped loudly in my ear and I pushed it away.

They had been releasing the wards, the ones that were put up to begin with and with just a few simple words, everything would come crashing down but that would mean getting to that point. I stepped in time, trying to remember where I was on the edge of that line and for a moment I forgot.

I saw the flash before I felt it, the blade that she pulled from the back of her belt, and just as suddenly as it appeared, it disappeared, plunging deep into my side, just about the same spot that the God Killer had dug in.

I stopped dead in my tracks, looked down as she grinned evilly at me and turned my head slowly towards Dean, whose eyes were wide with shock. Sam stepped up besides him, the younger Winchester screamed out in disbelief, but it was Cas that held him back as he made for the line.

Dean breathed through parted lips as he turned around and dipped into the darkness. Taking my eyes off of Sam, I looked in the opposite direction as Danni stepped into the circle, a blade of her own design, one that I had seen on her person but hadn't gotten a good look at was twisting in her hand.

Sam's voice, deep with pain broke through the encroaching darkness as Doris stepped back and turned towards the new hunter. I felt my knees give out, the pain of the blade seemed to burn and while I expected the cold to start creeping up on me, I was surprised to feel nothing as my knees hit the floor.

Dean stepped up to the line, he reached a hand out to me, book open on the floor beside him and I shook my head.

"Read it," I whispered to him, and watched as his brow creased in worry, confusion and he licked his lips, a sign that he was unsure as to what to do next but he heard Sam, his eyes going back to the way his brother wrestled against the immovable angel. Those green eyes rested on me once more. "Dean," I whispered, there was no need for yelling because he wasn't going to hear me anyway, he just needed to see my lips move. "Read it."

His lips quivered as he brought the book up to his lap and his eyes stayed locked on mine until those words flowed from his lips, recited perfectly in Latin, but I only heard them in English, they only registered in one language, even as my eyes threatened to close. I had to hold on, I needed to make it through this. I couldn't sacrifice again and leave them alone.

"What has come to pass, need be no more, from angel's grace to demon's door, let what was cast, now undo, with blood and fire, this spell remove."

Was it that simple, really, it sounded so much better in Latin, but I knew what had to happen next as he brought the zippo up and flicked at the flint. I grabbed the hilt of the blade, my eyes landing on his once more and slowly withdrew it. Blood seeped from the wound, coating my hand and just as I let the blade drop, so did the lighter.

It went up fast and hard, the revealed magic of the devil's trap sparked a wall of flames that followed it around the circle so high that Sam, Dean and Cas disappeared behind it. Doris screamed again, always with the screaming and I slowly made it to my feet to find her and Danni once again moving in that same step-kick-step routine that I had just been through. The one difference was obvious, Danni held the weapon this time, she had the upper hand, so I hoped.

I moved at them, the best I could, but when Doris sensed I was close, she whipped around. With Danni on one side of her and I on the other, you would have thought she would be panicking but all she did was smile.

Crap, this couldn't be good at all.

So, maybe I didn't think this _all_ the way through, but I did get a good portion of it covered. This part, yeah, this I didn't expect, especially when the old bat decided that she was going to wave her hand and send me flying through the air, straight through the fire and against the wall of the room.

Sam was instantly at my side, hand pressed against the seeping wound that had me down for the count but even as unconsciousness threatened, no more like begged to take over, there was no way that I could give in.

"What the hell were you thinking?" He whispered, his voice so full of sadness that I couldn't help but look up at him. My fingers pressed against his cheek but I didn't say a word.

Dean slid in on the other side of me, his hand going right to Sam's thinking that if he pressed hard enough as well that he would stop the flow but his eyes were going back to the ring of fire and I knew just what he was thinking.

"Cas," was the only thing I could get out and I was sure they were tired of hearing his name from my lips, but Dean seemed to get the point way before Sam did.

"I'll find him," Dean whispered, pressing my hair back from my face, "I swear, Kid, I'll find him, and we'll get you fixed up."

Dean looked at Sam, and the non-verbal stuff exchanged told me that they both were not impressed by this state of affairs. Sam took a bloody hand from my stomach, as Dean quickly left my side, and ran it through the unruly locks of my hair, his lips suddenly going to my temple.

"Don't leave me, Ali," he spoke softly.

"Not my intention, Sam," I laughed as I watched the red color coat his hand, but I looked up into his eyes, "never my intention."

Dean once again slid back to my side, eyes wide and panicked and he shook his head. Sam looked over his brother's face, knowing just what was going on without even asking but Dean stared down at me.

"I can't," he whispered, and I smiled, nodding.

"I can," I grinned and suddenly placed my hand on his thigh, digging deep with my nails as I closed my eyes and pulled the light from him. I heard Dean moan… moan mind you, and not in pain as he suddenly realized what was going on. The heat from the man beside me matched the ones that Danni and Cas let off when they pushed their magic to me.

"Dean?" Sam's voice questioned and I was quick to grab onto him as well, needing both to make sure that this sealed well and good. The noise that flowed from Sam was so much more interesting and one I knew well as he groaned through clenched teeth.

I could feel the wound sealing, just on the edge of closed when their magic started to dissipate. The blood still flowed, there was no way I was going into this half-healed and still bleeding, but I felt him as I slowly released the boys, letting them come back into their own, and my eyes flew open as his hands locked down on my legs.

Cas crouched there, eyes brightly lit up as his lips turned into a sly smile and he pushed his grace towards me. Blinding heat raced up my body right to that slice and I arched up away from the wall. I felt Dean's hand on my arm, the other on the back of my neck as Sam's forehead touched mine, but when the angel let go, when Cas backed away, and I opened my eyes, all I saw was my darkness.

"Ali," Dean growled, "control it."

"No," I whispered, "I'm done, this is what she brought us into this world for, it's time for her to get a taste of the power she helped create."

"Please," Dean pleaded, something that I never expected to hear from him, but instead of it being a plea for reason, it was something completely different. "Annihilate the bitch and bring Danni out alive."

I smiled in his direction, feeling Sam's kiss along the side of my face, and gently I traced Dean's jaw.

"Oh, that I most certainly can do."

Cas pulled me to my feet, his grace just a little less bright in the wake of the energy he had given off, but when I looked at Sam, the want in my body shivered. He was a crimson red that swirled with black mist, something that I couldn't deny and as his blood red hand came down to rest on my neck, I closed my eyes, letting his lips crash against mine in a heated kiss.

This, this is what I needed to survive and when I backed away, I glanced at each of them once more before turning my sights to the fire that raged before me.

I heard the sounds from beyond the wall, felt the fight going out of the other woman. Danni couldn't hold on for much longer, but as I stopped just on the edge of the line, feeling the heat of the flames, I couldn't help the smile that rose on my cheeks.

All I felt was hate, all that pulsed through me was anger and death and destruction and all I saw were demons. The demons from the alley, the ones from the storage rooms, the ones that I had hunted before the darkness took over, and all that I remembered was the feeling I got when I put that blade to them.

With a deep breath, with eyes that pulse with the fire inside me, I stepped forward and watched as the wall of flames parted, as if they were curtains and I was able to step right through. What I saw when the wall blazed behind me once more was Danni holding her own, swinging with everything she had as she kept on moving the woman away from the edge, her eyes bright with angel grace and I knew beyond anything that she was definitely the light.

Looking down, I sought out the blade that had pierced my side but I found nothing, and that was when I noticed that Doris had it once again. The spell on the circle had locked up her magic, but she could still fight. Though my curiosity on how my grandmother, who had died when I was twenty, was now kicking around in a hot new meat suit almost distracted me, it was quickly squashed when I smiled at the spectrum blade and the way the fired danced off her oily colors.

With a grin that would have told most people to stay away, I quietly walked over, wrapped my hand around the handle and yanked straight upwards. That was when Doris turned to me, when the power of the spectrum left the symbol, it seemed to set off a tingle in her spidey sense and I watched as she came straight at me.

Letting Danni get a few breaths in, I took on the old hag myself and listened as the blades clashed against each other, sparks flew, but the fire never lessened. I heard her growl, like she was becoming some sort of animal and the more determined she became to end me, the more I watched her exterior become more and more of the monsters we had fought. And that gave me just the idea I needed.

 _Cas, she's a shifter!_ I sent out to him. Not sure why he was the only one on the line that I could reach but I knew that the tether didn't connect Dean and I that way nor did it remotely tie Danni and I together but there was just something about the angel that had me jumping in my skin. _She's shifting, but not like any skinwalker we've ever come across, she's powerful._

I felt the edge of my mind, I felt a new sensation and turned to look at Danni who was staring at her with some strange ideas of her own. When the woman across the way looked up at me, just enough of a glance that had me on the same train of thought, I gave her a little wink and swung at Doris, driving her back.

The woman was strong, I would give her that much but she was putting on the brakes and holding my swings without issue now. I stepped up to her, the edge of the blade against my throat as my vision clouded to red.

"You're so much more powerful than her, why don't you just end Danni and take her power?" Doris questioned, thought I wasn't really sure it was Doris anymore.

"You don't get it, you never have." I growled, and yes this time it was an actual growl as the demon in me broke through, "family isn't always blood, she is who I choose, you… you're nothing. Besides, why take her power, when I can just as easily take yours."

"You can have her love, take him as much as you want him, keep him and yours for yourself." This made me laugh because she was still on this kick, and I wanted to roll my eyes, hell I would have rolled my head if it had made a difference.

"I don't have to take him, I already have Dean, just the way I need him." I snapped and gave her a push, wanting to see how much she would budge. "Is that the same line of bull you gave her? Take Sam and make him your own, do away with me and have both?" I smiled as I pushed her again, but this time I looked just slightly over her shoulder. "Didn't work, did it?"

"Oh she was so much more susceptible to the idea that she could take yours and make him her own, it definitely got her thinking." The witch replied.

"You know what has me thinking?" I whispered as I leaned in towards the blade. "That you talk too much."

Danni wrapped her hand around the woman's throat, took the tip of her blade and pressed it in towards her heart and pulled her away from me, but that didn't stop the draw of the demon within, it didn't stop me from lashing out as Danni held the witch captive.

"You did this to us, you made us who we are, you gave us the power to do with what we needed to survive," I whispered, trying to breath through the shrinking light, the fire seemed to be fading as the darkness took over. Danni was brilliant, a light that I couldn't shy away from, but this thing in front of her was something I didn't understand, I just knew it had to go. "You put two boys in our path, two men in our lives and you say what we feel isn't real, it should be the other way around. What do you know? What do you get from it? We're right where we need to be, with who we need to be with and there is one thing that monsters don't seem to understand," I got right up in her face as my vision took on the edge of a red hue. "We're just as dark as they are."

Without hesitation, I plunged my curled fingers into the woman's chest. It seemed easier than it should have and the sneer faded from my lips as Danni backed away, releasing her hold, slipping the blade down as she watched me. I felt my fingers break bones, grip around the organ that I was searching for, but I cocked my head to the side, knowing that I shouldn't be able to do this.

"Huh," I whispered, and instantly thought of Sam, the man sitting on the edge of the circle, waiting for the outcome, impatiently pacing because, no, Sam never actually stood still, and as I yanked my hand out from her skin, I looked down at the still pumping heart. Confused, I looked up at Danni, who seemed just as perplexed before I shivered, opened my fingers and dropped it solidly on the floor.

Doris stumbled, looking down at the same spot that the two of us had zoned in on, at the slowly pulsing thing that didn't really belong outside the body, and her face took on this mortified expression. Danni moved over to stand next to me, my hand covered in the sticky and quickly drying blood as she wiped her blade against her leg and I swatted my hand on my jeans, trying to get it off.

Doris misstepped and fumbled back until she hit the fire line, her body bursting into flames as the two of us looked on in a little bit of amusement. I reached up and scratched my ear but just as I turned to say something to my sister, I felt the gut punch of heat deep in my stomach.

Going down was hard, especially when I hit my knees but the feeling of my insides liquidating seemed to numb the rest of the pain. I placed a hand down on the concrete, braced myself for anything but the blood leaking from the corner of my mouth had me frantically wiping at my lips. It was then that it hit again, this time with the pain came the anger, the darkness and I reached for the blade only to have it kicked from my grasp.

"Sorry, Sis, I can't let you do that." I looked up at Danni, who stood tall, smiling down at me, her body just a beacon of light.

"So what, we kill the bad guy and now it's one on one?" I laughed, pushing myself up to stand on weak legs, "you know you can't take me, I'm stronger than you are."

"I don't have to be stronger, remember?" Danni smiled, "I just have to be smarter."

She went for my legs, trying to sweep them out from under me but I side stepped just as fast as she moved. Yeah she didn't have to be stronger, but I wasn't really up to playing around either. I didn't know what the hell she was trying to do, but the demon in me saw it as a sweet treat to fight an angel, so my body was ready for it.

I was so tired of the dance, so tired of the surefooted way that everything skirted around everything, even the punches didn't really reach home, not with any certain power behind them. I wasn't even sure if we were fighting each other or playing, but that was when I felt it, the pull of the tether, the sudden need.

"I can feel him, you know," I whispered as she missed my chin with a very close swing. "Dean, I mean."

"Yeah, you gonna do what granny says and take him for yourself?" She laughed like it was all a game.

"Don't have too, he's already mine." I snickered. What the hell, were we really bantering back and forth over this. "One little spell and he's mine for life. But we can share Sammy."

"You realize how wrong that sounds, don't you?" She questioned, and suddenly the banter was done. She was right, what the hell was I even saying, and I stopped. I stopped dead and she swung, connecting her fist with my jaw. The world did flip flops and I found myself on my ass looking up at her. "You sharing Sam is about as ridiculous sounding as me sharing Dean, we are so not playing "let's keep it in the family"."

"That sounds like an awesome game." I whispered, but found myself clenching my teeth, wondering why the fire hadn't died yet. "The magic is still going around the circle. Us being in it isn't helping the spell to end."

"What do you expect me to do then?" She questioned, still looking down at me.

"What you have to in order to finish it," I sighed softly and the two of us looked at the blade in her hand.

"You really think I'm going to use this on you?"

"Well, let's see, angels are good, demons are evil," I debated it for a moment and then took a breath, "I don't see any other way out."

"You know we tried this your way before and look how it ended up." She shrugged, "stupidly, and with so much extra baggage. I mean hell, you even made me believe that you were insane. How is that healthy for our relationship?"

"Why are you still talking?" I groaned, "could you just get this done and over with."

"Nope, not until you hear me out." I rolled my eyes at her, but the more she talked the less the fire inside me burned.

"Fine, just get on with it." I leaned back on my hands and raised a brow.

"I get you and Dean, okay, I really do, and I know that you're going to need each other from time to time, and as much as it is a pain in my ass to see it, I'm okay with it, but you can't monopolize him either." I shook my head at this and blinked at her as if she had spoken some foreign language. "It took Cas explaining it to me to get me to see the bigger picture instead of just having to watched the two of you always take off after each other."

"I'm glad he could explain it to you, because I still don't get it." I grumbled, but I watched her cross her arms, "sorry, go on."

"When you go home, please take Sammy with you, don't send him home with me and Dean, that would just kill him. Take him with you, plan some big wedding, have flowers and cake and do it right this time." I raised a brow and nodded. "I'm so glad you're trapped in a fire ring, it makes you so agreeable."

"Screw off Danvers," I huffed and shook my head. "Wedding, got it."

"Okay, so let's figure out how to get this damn fire out." She griped and turned to look at the wall that was still standing.

I didn't really think of it, of the actions that I did next but somehow I managed to get the blade back into my hands and as she turned her back to me, the fire inside flared up and I lunged at her. With just a twist of her arm, she turned around, caught my arm in a neat little hold and locked me down, her eyes blazing into mine.

"I knew you were going to try something stupid." She smiled.

"Hello," I snickered, "demon."

"Yeah," she grinned, "not so much!"

I watched her reach out, her arm locked onto mine and she placed her fingers against my forehead, letting the power flow from her. I don't remember opening my mouth to scream, but I remember the sound as the light that flowed from her burned down towards the center of the heat that rose up to meet it.

The battle inside me blasted through my body, the power surged outwards, extinguishing the flames but Danni didn't let go, not until the darkness had been all but locked away and I felt my knees give out. Her hold on my arm held me up as I placed a hand on her shoulder, my eyes drifting closed until I felt arms around my waist.

"Hey there," Dean's gruff voice whispered in my ear as I felt back against him. "Just take it easy."

"Smarter not stronger," I smiled and shook my head. "Yeah, you definitely got me there."

"Hey, I had to outsmart you somehow, had to make it so you never saw it coming." Danni smiled and I fought the darkness of unconsciousness.

"One point for you," I smiled, "or two… I'll tally it up later."

Sam's hands came up to my cheeks and I managed to look into his eyes as I smiled.

"Hey beautiful," he whispered as his hand moved down, smoothing over my skin.

"Hey gorgeous," I replied just as softly, and my sight switched to the man who held me from behind. "Can we get the hell out of here?"

"Abso-freakin-lutely!" Dean agreed and released me as Sam scooped me up into his arms.

I didn't see much after that, as I felt myself tuck into the moose's arms, because the blackness cascaded down on me and for the first time in months, there was no fear.


	110. DH Remembrance - Season Finale

**Chapter 44**

End Game

The ride to Ohio was uneventful, unlike the last few weeks, I think I slept more than I was awake, but Sam was beside me more than not and I was good with that. The energy that we had used was almost too much for me to handle, but the fact that the demon seemed to be locked down was always a good thing.

It didn't do one thing though, it didn't stop the dreams.

It was dark when I opened my eyes, and definitely wasn't the car, in fact, I'm not sure where the hell I was, but I certainly wasn't anywhere recognizable. The atmosphere was thick with the smell of sulfur, and ash seemed to fall from the sky, like a fine black snow. I reached out my hand from where I sat against a cold stone wall and let the small flakes fall into my palm.

"Where the hell am I?" Even at a whisper, my voice seemed to echo in the emptiness.

Getting to my feet, I looked down and noticed the clothes that I was wearing, black work boots, which I never wear, dark blue jeans, and not my skinny ones that helped me move so freely either, a black t-shirt, black and white flannel and a dark canvas jacket. Jesus, I looked like Dean. Shaking my head, throwing the strange clothing aside as if what I wore really shouldn't matter, I stepped out into the sunless world that surrounded me.

The sky was dark, clouded over where the sun not likely to shine through anytime soon, but it wasn't night, that I could feel, and suddenly, I was lost. Wherever I was, this was unfamiliar territory. Patting myself down, I was surprised to find the Spectrum situated right where I needed her to be, at my side and the Walther was tucked nicely in the back of my jeans. Whatever was going on, I was completely prepared for it, or at least I thought.

Walking along the dusty ground, one filled with ash and old cars, or old cars that were left open and abandoned long enough to look like they were old, I let the pull that burned in me move me in the direction I needed to go. This was a small town, situated somewhere on the map that I had yet to find and no matter which way I turned, I couldn't find my true north, didn't have a way to get my own geographical location, not something that was usually a problem for me.

Just ahead, moving past the old buildings, ones that had been kept up to help attract tourists with the old time experience, was a small break in the ash, and the darkness of the two-story walls that had kept me disorientated. In the small open field sat a church, white with red trim, a steeple that rose above the pitched roof and stained glass window of the one story building. I glanced around, my back to the wooden slats of the last building before the field. There was nothing, no movement, no sound, except for one.

It was one that I was familiar with, one that I could almost pick out of a crowd and it had me moving, not running, but certainly cautiously walking faster, right towards that holy little place. I made it up the three stairs that came to the red, archway door and pressed my body against it, gun drawn and at the ready as I turned and peeked into the light glow of the room. The door was ajar, enough for me to slip my body through and as I passed through the hallway and into the nave of the church, not more than ten rows of pews graced each side but it wasn't the setup that I was staring at. It was the man who battled against five others that caught my attention.

He moved with the grace of a dancer, swift, timed and without faltering but as he brought that demon blade down into one of the closer bodies, I felt the shock of his anger. The demon seemed to burst into dust, exploding from every pore of the possessed body and my breath hitched at the pure ferociousness of it.

Stepping back, I watched as he did it again, danced and weave, calculate and thrust and before I knew it, all of them were down, and he was left standing. I knew that back, I knew the heave of those shoulders, the way the muscles moved as his arms tensed. I knew everything about him, and I breathed out just a little too hard.

He turned, the knife sailing and it listened to it hit the wood beside my head, the blade vibrating back and forth as it stuck out by the tip. Pressed against it, my gaze went to the demon blade, eyes wide with the knowledge that a little to the right and I would have lost an eye, but as my eyes were diverted, I never saw the man come up at me, until his hands were under my arms and I was lifted from the ground.

A growl escaped from him, bringing my full attention back to his face and Dean's black eyes.

I breathed deep, although the atmosphere was nearly toxic with the ash, but his eyes had me locked in place. He was him, exactly as I knew him, black t-shirt, maroon overshirt, blue jeans and those damn boots but his eyes… they were as black as night, and the grin that moved up on his face as anything but pleasant.

"Ali," he whispered, not as if he recognized me, but as if he knew I would come, and he blinked, just did a long drawn out blank before he _hmmphed_ and let me down. His hands slid away, touching whatever part of me he could before he reached up and yanked the blade from the wall. I watched him turn, wipe the blade on his pants, before stashing it away and heading for the bodies. "Still trying to save me?"

"You don't look like you want to be saved," I replied, not moving from the wall as I watched him lean down and take something off the hand of every body in that place. "In fact, you look like you're enjoying yourself a little too much."

Dean glanced over his shoulder, the grin curled up on his lips as he looked me over before giving just a bit of a shrug. "Always the observant one."

Oh, snarkiness, that gave me some relief. Wherever the hell I was, and I say _where_ because I knew I wasn't dreaming, at least Dean still had the same attitude. Apparently, I dared to move because I was slowly making my way towards him, eyes going over my surroundings in case of a sneak attack, but he still sat crouched there as I approached.

I reached out a hand, not more than a foot from Dean because I was a glutton for punishment, and I really needed to see those eyes again. Deadly demon eyes without the gray face behind it, without the way _I_ saw demons, and the feeling along the tether seemed to shake me.

He turned just as swiftly as before, grasped my wrist in his hand, wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close, those dark eyes burrowing into me. He did the strangest thing as he smiled, he moved down, closed his eyes, and placed his face against my cheek as his warm breath gently passed over my neck and he breathed in deeply.

I felt his chest expand, heard him hum before he moved and rested his stubbled jaw against me, his breath in my ear as his lips came close enough that I could feel the smile.

"You're not my Ali, you don't smell righteous and clean," his deep voice dropped an octave, filled with lust and darkness, "no, you're not mine, but… mine at the same time. I can feel you, the way your heart beats, everything that sings through you. You're just as much damned as I am."

"Dean," I tried to move away, shifted in his arms and the lock on my wrist only tightened.

"Shh," he breathed, "ut-uh, no getting away, angel, I'm way to curious now." The hand around my waist moved, his fingers widened to cover more area, and he moved lower, grasping the gun from its hiding spot before discarding it on the floor and placing his hand right back to where it would press me closer to him. "Who are you?"

"Ali," I explained, what other way could I say it, "and I don't think I'm dreaming."

"No," he sighed, taking in a breath again as his lips traveled along my cheekbone, "no, you're not."

With a jolt, I sat up the best I could in the car, Sam's hand gently on mine as I looked frantically around. I swallowed hard and looked at the face of the man beside me. Sam was definitely concerned but he didn't say anything until I situated myself and blinked back the need to get out and run.

"Ali?" I blinked at him, and cleared my head, "it was just a dream."

"Yeah," I said softly, trying to clear the fog, but I couldn't shake the feeling that it so wasn't. I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "I'm okay, Sam," I even tried to fake a smile, but he saw through it, his fingers gently caressing my cheek. "I just need to make a pitstop."

Pulling the car into the nearest gas station, he turned in the seat and brushed my hair behind my ear, the worried look still etched on his face, but he nodded and kissed my forehead before I grabbed my bag, from the backseat and headed for the bathroom.

I know I had thought about it before, how easy it was to live out of just one bag of clothing, slipping on whatever happened to be clean that day, or at least not completely covered in obvious blood, but as I stepped into the bathroom, I slowly closed the door and turned my back on the mirror, my hands holding onto the cold porcelain of the sink.

 _Cas,_ I let my mind whisper as my lips began to tremble and the fear built up in me. _Cas, please, I need you._

His entrance was silent, even the sound of his wings never punctured the air, but the instant his eyes were on me, his hands were pulling me close, wrapping me in his warmth. He knew Sam was right outside in the car but I couldn't speak out loud as I shook in his arms, his mind tingled against mine.

 _What is it? What's wrong?_ I drew in the best I could and stepped back from him, reached over and turned on the faucet.

 _I had a dream._ I sent out, though I hadn't looked at him yet.

 _From my experience, it's not unusual for humans to dream when they hit a specific cycle while sleeping._ He replied confused but when I looked up at him, acknowledgement slowly shifted across his face.

 _It wasn't a dream, Cas, it was… real, so completely real._ I grabbed his hand and placed it on my cheek, waiting for him to get the picture and with an exasperated breath, he locked his jaw and closed his eyes. I felt him there, hovering just on the edge of my mind as he picked up everything I remembered and suddenly he was backing away. _I told you, Cas, not a dream._

 _Dean is at the Roadhouse with Danni, he's safe, so is she._ Knowing about both of them gave me some relief but I saw something in his eyes that made me question everything. _I think this dream maybe something else, but there isn't anything I can go on unless I explore it more. May I use what you've shown me?_

 _To what?_ I questioned, probably snapped was more like it but he didn't even flinch at it.

 _There is someone I can consult about situations like this, but I need your permission to discuss it._ I nodded, agreeing with him without speaking and watched as his lips thinned before he took a deep breath. _Get back on the road as soon as possible, I don't believe the four of you should be separated at this point, not with what you saw, at least not for now._

Again, I nodded and felt him pop out of the room. I closed my eyes, ran my hands over my face and proceeded to undress and shower. At least there were breaths between God only knows what happened in June and now but this, picking up as soon as we were done one fight, yeah our lives were going to love this.

Sam smiled at me as I slipped in, refreshed and in a new set of clothes. I leaned over the seat and kissed him softly.

"Thank you," I sighed and let my thumb glide over his lips.

"You don't have to thank me, Ali, I'm not going anywhere."

"Sam, with everything you've been through because of me," I smiled and took a breath, "I think I do."

"Come on, let's get on the road," he whispered, his lips brushing along mine as he pulled me closer. "The sooner we get there, the sooner we can get a room."

"You were always the smart one, so let's go, cause I'm kinda liking your idea," I laughed as I sat back in my seat. Sam winked, put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking spot, but my smile faded quickly as I thought of Dean and the way that he touched me in the dream. What did he say to me? I didn't smell righteous and clean? "What the hell is going on?"

"Al?" Sam's voice broke me out of my haze.

"Hmm," I sighed and grabbed for the blanket again, my body yelling at me to sleep. "Sorry, Sam, I'm just so worn down."

"It's okay," his hand rested on my leg, "get some sleep."

I nodded, closed my eyes and waited for the darkness to take over, but all I got was images of the barren wasteland that was in my dream, the blood-soaked stench of the church and the sulfur-fumed scene of the demons dead on the floor.

I sat up quickly again, this time watching the Roadhouse pull into the view and slowly Sam parked, turning off the engine as he looked over me quietly. I blinked back the sleep and finally looked him over, feeling just this side of uncertain as he slipped out and rounded the car to open my door.

I suddenly felt as if I didn't belong, as if I were a stranger in a show that I wasn't quite connected to anymore, but I moved with him, into the darkness of the bar, with it's cool, brown colors and glasses full of amber liquids.

No, something about this threw me off and I didn't know what it was. Sitting around the table, I had Dean on one side of me and Sam on the other, Danni across from me with Christian and Jo, but I couldn't concentrate on anything, missed half of the conversations going on around me, nothing except the brush of Dean's hand against my leg, something that was meant to be reassuring and the familiar scent of Sam seemed to keep me grounded, at least long enough to get past dinner.

I slipped outside, needing to remove myself from the smell of stale beer and Winchesters, but just like every other time, the door slammed closed not more than five minutes later and the familiar sound of boots hitting the gravel filled my ears.

I smiled as Dean slipped into place beside me along the back of Baby and he crossed his arms.

"Sam said you had a hard time on the ride up," he sighed. "Bad dreams or something."

"Or something," I replied quietly and suddenly felt his hand at the back of my neck, digging under my hair with the need to touch. "Yeah, I saw something, it was real and kind of terrifying but I know it was just a dream," I shrugged, inching closer to his body so that I could lean in against his side. "I'm leaving tomorrow, heading home. The kids will be back from their vacation and I have to be home to get stuff straightened out."

"I know," he whispered, his lips coming down on the top of my head. "Cas told me he was already popping in there to make things a little easier to explain."

"He'll stick around for however long I need." I took in a deep breath, drawing in the scent of the man beside me, everything that made him Dean.

"You know we'll be just a phone call away, right?" He whispered and I could hear the worry in his voice.

"Yeah, I know that too," I looked up at him and decided to be bold. Since he was already looking down at me, it didn't take much to go up on my tiptoes and nullify the distance, kissing him quickly on the lips. Dean was a bit shocked for only a second before a smile lifted the corner of his mouth and he watched as I turned my gaze back to the road. "You're not going to lose me, Dean, not again."

"We keep telling each other that, but somehow…" he paused, "promise me this, Porter, promise me that even if you and I aren't connected that you won't leave Danni hanging."

"I would never leave her alone, Dean, just like you and Sam, we're family." I stepped out of his grasp and turned to look at him. "I told you, you're not going to lose me, and I mean it. This… whatever is between us, it kind of makes it hard to ignore you, but I wouldn't just give up on you for it. We'll figure it out, just don't plan your life around it, you have Danni, as you should and Sam," I paused for a moment and rubbed my head, "I have Sam, as much as I can have him. You know he's not going to give it up."

"Yeah, and neither are you," Dean took a deep breath, "keep him in line when he's with you, I'll keep him straight when he's with me."

"Agreed." I smiled and watched his arm snake out, grab ahold of my arm and let him pull me in to wrap his arms around me. "Don't disappear, Dean."

"On you? Never," he whispered as he placed his cheek against my head.

Danni was sitting outside the motel rooms on the trunk of the Mustang when I finally was able to sneak out, Sam sound asleep on the bed. I pulled my coat tighter and hopped up on the bumper, making sure that there was nothing in my pockets that could scratch the paint.

"So, we're doing it again," I shrugged and looked up at the stars that filled the sky.

"Yep, but at least this time, you're not in a coma, and I know exactly what's going on." Danni stated sarcastically. "Are you sure that you don't want to have Sam drive you home?"

"Nah, last time that happened, I sent him back to you anyway." I smiled and looked over at her.

"You going to be okay?" Danni worried about me, that made me smile because she was ever the big sister and I nodded.

"I'll be good, Cas will be with me for a little while, then Sam whenever he gets settled into whatever routine we come up with." I smiled but I looked at her and raised a brow. "Cake and flowers, huh, that's a thing for you? Some GQ wedding?"

"I thought it might be your thing," she laughed.

I shook my head, breathed in the cool night air and looked down at my hands. "Nah, not for me, not for him."

"You know this for a fact?"

"Apple pie life with me and my kids?" I sighed, clearing my throat. "I love Sam, I would give anything to take him home and make him just mine, but you know that isn't going to happen, not with you and Dean out there fighting the good fight." I looked into her blue eyes and shrugged, "besides, you know I can't stay out of a mess, and I'd be right there beside you if I could."

"I know." she whispered and reached out placing her hand on my wrist. "We'll all get through this, because we have each other this time."

"Right," I tried my best to smile, but the dreams, the sight of Dean as a demon was still etched in my vision and I just kept nodding. "I'm going to head back to bed."

"Yeah, wouldn't want that big lug to think you had run away again." Danni smiled at me, and we both turned to look as her room door opened and Dean leaned against the sill. "Looks like I have someone I need to check in with too."

"Yeah," I smiled, hopping down, "you have fun with that."

Winking at Dean, I moved back to my room and slowly closed the door, the feeling of dread only made me shiver.

The night turned into morning, slowly the sun rose, and with it, so did I. Anxiety filled me as Sam helped me bring bags to the back of the car, his eyes always on me, his hands touching every chance he got and slowly, as the time drew near, so did he, until he cornered me in the room.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Sam placed his hands on my thighs and slowly knelt down before me. He slipped a silver ring over my thumb, laughing to himself as he did so.

"I thought I had the right size, but I guess the place screwed up, it seems to fit fine on this one though," he laughed as he twirled it against my skin. "It's not what I wanted, Al, not the ring you deserve."

"I can feel the etching inside, what does it say?" I whispered, as I leaned my forehead against his, both of us looking at the small silver band.

"All my love," he whispered, "Sam."

"Then it's perfect." I replied, and he raised his eyes to look at me. "I don't need something sparkly and big, in fact, I don't need anything at all, just the man who comes with the promise. Besides, since it fits there, it won't get in the way of me pulling a gun."

"Right, practical applications." Sam grinned, brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. "I want to go with you."

"I know, but you can't, not yet." I sighed, "we talked about this last night, Sam, this is what we need to do, and you know where I am."

"Every chance I get I will be banging on your door, don't forget that." He breathed as his fingers rested against my jaw and he tilted my head to meet his lips, "every chance."

"God, I hope so." I smiled as he kissed me, passionately.

I looked at them all, Danni, Dean, Jo, Christian and lastly, Sam, and my heart nearly broke as I drove away. It had been the longest of goodbyes and the worst but I couldn't stay, not any longer. I found my way past the Waffle House in London, pulled into the gas station next to the motel where Sam had come crashing through my window and I held my breath as I pumped the gas into the GTO.

A hand fell on my shoulder, and I blinked away the tears as Cas stepped up beside me. Clicking on the trigger, I turned and buried my face into his shirt, his arms wrapped around me. His lips pressed on my head as the pump switched off and slowly he let me go. I watched him look around, take in the scenery and quietly move to the passenger's side.

Replacing the pump, I screwed on the gas cap, took one last look around and slipped in behind the wheel. With the angel beside me, I cranked her over and turned the car to head east against the rising sun.

Homeward bound.

Eleven hours on the road with just the vibration under the roll of the wheels, the sound of music on the radio, Cas quiet in the seat beside me and the words that repeated over again in my head. They told me absolutely everything and said nothing at the same time, even as I spun the silver ring on my thumb, the one with those very words engraved on the inside.

They burned into my skin as they were forever locked in my mind, but I couldn't smile, I couldn't bring myself to commit them to heart, not with the loss I felt being so far away from him, from them, already. I blinked back the tears, in the light of the sun.

They were there, they would never leave me but the heartbreak still felt the same as those four words echoed with every beat of my heart.

All my love… Sam.

HOME!

Greeted by three kids and a few cats had never felt better, but it was the knowing smile that Cas gave me as we stepped inside that made me shake my head when my "toys" had all been replaced. Evidence of Sam and Dean on the show was now where it was supposed to be on my shelves. My journals had all been replaced and it seemed that life had returned to normal.

Cas stayed for a while, slowly turning our _romance_ into friendship as the conversations about Sam and who he was started to become more frequent. Nick got it, he always did and for that I was thankful, but Cas would always be part of Joseph and Ari, that would never change, so Cas agreed to stay close and that in itself was a blessing, especially the first time the phone rang and Jones uttered those famous words.

"I've got a case."

Life was back to normal.

The phone rang, sometime in mid-December and I slowly picked up the line… Sam turned on the bed beside me and groaned.

"Danni?" I questioned, not having to even look at the caller ID.

"Ali, we have a problem." Her voice was shaky and that alone had me sitting up in bed.

"What's going on?" Sam questioned, stirring beside me.

"Danni, talk to me." I begged as I placed a hand on Sam's arm.

"Dean's gone," Danni whispered, "and I haven't been able to reach him in a few days."

 **To be continued….**


End file.
